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Shinichi wanted to wrap his arms around Kaito tightly- possessively- and never let go.
So many times Shinichi had come for the Phantom Thief. So many times Kaitou Kid escaped Shinichi’s grasp once more. And Shinichi wouldn’t have it any other way. They both needed freedom and secrecy like plants need sunlight and water. But still, there was that one irrational part of him that wanted to bind Kaito’s wings completely and tie him to Shinichi forever.
On a dark night, the dove was shot by the crows. Hunched over a makeshift bed in the basement of the laboratory, Shinichi wondered how Ran had gotten through this so many times. How she had brought herself to allow him freedom once more so many times.
Because there was nothing more Shinichi wanted to do than keep Kaito bound down here forever, far away from danger. And, Shinichi knew, there was nothing more crippling for Kaito or him than losing one’s freedom.
Years later, after a few chance- or perhaps staged- meetings and flirtatious dates and passionate nights, Shinichi thought he was over this feeling. But then Shinichi would watch Kaito smile and laugh with an especially cute backstage hand or gorgeous audience member or his childhood friend Aoko. Shinichi liked Aoko well enough, but she always reminded him of Ran. And reminded him of how he used to love Ran romantically. And how Ran used to love him. And it was so easy to draw the connection that how could Shinichi not be at least a little worried about Aoko?
Regardless, there was really, truly nothing wrong with Kaito being friendly with coworkers, Aoko or anyone else. Really, Shinichi didn’t know quite what to do with these petty yet overwhelming feelings.
“How come you don’t like bondage?” Kaito asked one night as they got ready for bed.
Shinichi paused at the question. “I don’t like how it makes me feel.” He replied.
“How it makes you feel?” Kaito inquired, hugging Shinichi from behind.
“It makes me feel really possessive.” Shinichi answered, relaxing into Kaito’s comforting hold.
“What’s wrong with that?”
Shinichi pulled away and frowned at Kaito. “I don’t want to be possessive.” Sitting on the bed, watching Kaito’s blank face, Shinichi decided, even if his possessiveness and anxiety were a bit silly and embarrassing, he might as well elaborate. “Sometimes I get jealous when you talk about Aoko really fondly or show off or give other people roses.”
Before Shinichi even finished Kaito’s face became incredulous. “But you talk about Ran and show off all the time too. And while you might not give away roses- which I do as part of performances- the way you smile as you excitedly and miraculously point out the culprit every time has about the same effect.”
Shinichi looked away in embarrassment. “I know! It’s hypocritical and pointless- I wish I didn’t feel this way. I don’t want you to stop doing any of that stuff. I love you for who you are and I would never want you to change that part of yourself because of me.”
“Oh.” Kaito said, taking a moment to think about it.
Shinichi looked back at Kaito and, smiling, kissed Kaito lightly on the lips. “I think what you said about my smile when I’m pointing out the culprit might just be your own bias though.”
“No, I’m spot on with that one.” Kaito said with an exaggeratedly serious look. “You must be an idiot though. Wouldn’t it be weirder if you didn’t feel at least a little bit jealous or anxious? It’s normal to be worried about your relationships and the people you care about.”
Shinichi stared at Kaito. “I know that.” Shinichi curtly responded. “It’s not the fact that the feelings are of jealousy that bothers me. It’s the fact that the feelings are so contradictory. I want to be happy for you- and I am- but sometimes my jealousy gets in the way and taints everything bittersweet. It’s frustrating.”
“Yeah.” Kaito muttered, not sure what to say.
Shinichi laid down. “Anyways, that’s why I don’t really want to try bondage.”
A lightbulb flicked on in Kaito’s brain, connecting the dots. “But wouldn’t tying me up and feeling like I’m all yours get rid of your jealousy?” Kaito rolled onto his side, facing Shinichi. ”Whenever I get jealous regarding you I like to come up with a puzzle for you. Watching you drop everything else- except for cases- to solve the puzzle always resolves any insecurities and jealousies I have in an instant.”
“Ehh?” Shinichi instinctively replied. “That.. makes sense. But what if it doesn’t work?”
“I don’t know if it’ll work but it doesn’t hurt to try.”
“It might just make me feel worse.” Shinichi said as he turned to Kaito, a little embarrassed that he had been worrying over something that might be so simple.
“How much worse could it make you feel?” Kaito remarked back, a little exasperated.
“What if I become more possessive once I get a taste?” Shinichi asked, beginning to smile.
“I don’t think it works that way. The things I get possessive about don’t change and I don’t get more or less possessive about them, but if more of them happen then the jealousy adds up.” Kaito explained, unsure why Shinichi was smiling.
“Is that how it works?” Shinichi pondered, wrapping his arms around Kaito and pulling him close for a short kiss. “Thank you, Kaito.”
“No problem,” Kaito responded, eyeing Shinichi’s lips. Knowingly, Shinichi kissed Kaito again, this time long and slow.
“I love you.” Shinichi declared at the end of the kiss.
No matter how many times he heard it, those words always made Kaito’s heart flutter, knowing that the person he had longed for over the years was here, returning every affection. To Shinichi’s delight, it always made Kaito blush.
“I love you too.” Kaito replied and kissed Shinichi this time. To Kaito’s delight, those words also made Shinichi blush just the same.
After quite a few moments of pure affection via kissing, Kaito gave Shinichi a squeezing hug, almost as if to merge them together forever. Shinichi squeezed back.
“I didn’t realize you wanted me to tie you up so badly.” Shinichi teased.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. That’s not why I said all that.” Kaito noted seriously.
“I want to try it.” Shinichi spoke with determination.
“Right now?”
“Why not? I’m sure you have rope hidden somewhere in the house already anyways and it’s not my first time tying someone up.”
Kaito sighed. “I know you’re talking about tying up criminals but when you put it that way it almost makes me want to tie you up instead.”
As Kaito got up and walked out to grab the rope, there was a hop in his step.
Kaito was flushed just slightly pink with excitement as he held his wrists out for Shinichi to bind with blue-purple rope that matched Kaito’s eyes in warm-colored light and Shinichi’s eyes in cool-colored light.
Finding the bight of the rope, Shinichi wrapped the rope around Kaito’s hands, through the bight, looping back around, through the loop just made, back around- again and again, loosely but uniformly until there were about five loops-worth of rope encircling Kaito’s pale wrists. Finishing the tie, Shinichi tightly wrapped the rope around the loose rope between Kaito’s hands, added a huge bow and knotted it away from Kaito’s hands, making an effective handcuff out of rope.
Despite Kaito’s consent to be tied up, Shinichi could already see Kaito eyeing up the knot, figuring out all the different ways to slip free. It was cute but it certainly wasn’t allowed. Not right now. Grabbing the knot, Shinichi pulled Kaito towards him roughly, distracting and causing Kaito to fall forward onto Shinichi as Shinichi searched the bed drawer for Kaito’s favorite eye mask.
“Green?” Shinichi asked as he brought the mask where Kaito could see it.
Kaito took a second to get his bearings, blinking once- twice. “Green.”
After pulling the cover over Kaito’s eyes, Shinichi pushed Kaito back into his previous kneeling position on the bed. Now that Shinichi had a moment to think without curious, discerning eyes watching him, he could imagine exactly how he wanted to tie Kaito up.
Shinichi just wanted Kaito to be safe and happy here with him where Shinichi could love and watch Kaito without worry or fear, just for a day- just for a scene- just for a moment.
Shinichi knew what he wanted, who he wanted and how he wanted it.
Tilting Kaito’s head back delicately by the chin, Shinichi kissed the side of Kaito’s neck and grabbed a long piece of rope.
He wanted Kaito to depend on him.
Gently, he found the bight of the rope, bringing Kaito’s hands as close to Kaito’s chest as comfortably possible and pulled the bight through one of the bows of the previous tie, around the back of Kaito’s neck and through the other bow.
He wanted Kaito to need him.
He pulled the free end through the bight, reversed the tension, went under the arms, around Kaito’s back, through the new loop, reversed the tension, over the arms, around the back, through the new loop, reversed the tension- and so on, until Shinichi completely bound Kaito’s whole upper body in thick wraps of rope.
He wanted to bind Kaito to him.
As Shinichi stepped away, satisfied for the moment, and admired the rope holding the object of all his affections, Kaito wiggled, testing the tie and hold of the rope. Disregarding his legs, wriggling like a worm was really all Kaito could do. Truly and completely, the dove’s wings were bound.
He wanted Kaito to never fly away.
Suddenly it felt overly tight. It was confining. It was uncomfortable. It was cold. It was scary. Kaito couldn’t move. He couldn’t see. He was powerless and defenseless and vulnerable. Even for the Phantom Thief there would be no escape.
He wanted Kaito to never leave him.
It’s okay, Kaito thought to himself. He was Shinichi’s. Shinichi had tied him up. Shinichi was here. But he couldn’t hear Shinichi, couldn’t feel Shinichi, couldn’t see Shinichi.
Where? A violent, intrusive thought suddenly made itself known. Where is Shinichi?
“Shinichi?” Kaito whispered, his voice as quiet as could be. As if some terrible thing might hear him and find him in the darkness.
“Kaito?”
Quickly, arms surrounded Kaito, embracing him. They were warm and gentle and loving. They were everything Kaito wanted and needed at that moment. They were Kaito’s respite- his sanctuary- his haven. They were the place Shinichi had made for him where Kaito had no regrets or worries or pains.
Shinichi could feel Kaito’s sudden tension rapidly dissolve until Kaito was nothing but jello in his arms, unresisting. Kaito’s helpless form was satisfying. Here caught in his arms, Kaito was completely and irrevocably his.
And Kaito wanted to be so.
And Kaito trusted Shinichi enough to be so.
And Kaito had chosen to be so.
And Kaito was happy and comfortable to be so.