Archive of Our Own

Baekhyun wakes up with a feeling of dread pinning him down on his cot. 

He lays on the soft mattress on his back, hands clenching the bear fur blanket covering him. He’s staring up to the ceiling, thoughts creeping up on him, invading his mind, his nervous system, making his heart race.

Tomorrow, the moon will turn a pretty shade of blue and underneath it’s moonlight, his life will end. 

He’ll be mated. Or maybe he won’t find his mate but either way he’s fucked. 

Baekhyun exhales, trying to calm himself down but the anxiety surrounding him is causing him to tremble in his skin. He can hear shuffling outside of his room and he knows his dad is up. He can smell the homely scent he has smelled his whole childhood. 

Even if he couldn’t smell, it wouldn’t be his mother. She doesn’t wake up this early. 

At the thought of his alpha mother, Baekhyun is yanked back into the reality of his situation. 

And Baekhyun wants to cry because he doesn’t want to be mated. The thought of having a destined mate, of having a soulmate, angers him. It angers him even more that he’ll be expected to stay with them, expected to love them no matter what. 

Baekhyun hears something fall to the floor and he throws off his covers. 

He slips on his slippers and rushes outside of his room. He pushes away the black curtain that separates his room from the rest of the hut, worry settling on the corners of his mouth. He hopes desperately his mom didn’t hear it. 

The hut isn’t so spacious that it takes minutes to reach the kitchen but it felt like Baekhyun was racing against time. Hoping he got there before his mom did. 

The hut is built so that there was some sort of hallway before reaching the small kitchen. Baekhyun’s slippers click atop the wooden floor as he walks past his parent’s room. He bites the inside of his cheek at the noise but stops when he smells the heavy, alpha scent behind the room. She was still asleep.

With a less alarm interwoven around his bones, Baekhyun steps into the common room. His brown eyes catch onto his dad’s figure, bending down as he picks up pieces of a plate. 

Baekhyun rushes to him, settling a hand on his dad’s arm. “It’s okay, I can do it. Finish mom’s breakfast."

“Baekhyun,” Byun Hyunwoo says, surprised. He hadn’t smelled Baekhyun approaching. “Why are you awake so early?”

“The sun woke me up,” Baekhyun replies easily. The sun rose to the sky, mocking him, telling him that no matter how much he hopes, time won’t stop. 

Baekhyun carefully picks up the large shards of porcelain as his dad comments, “You look tired. Have you been sleeping well?”

Baekhyun straightens up and walks to the small trash bin in the corner. “I’ve been a little restless,” Baekhyun says.

 He can’t bring himself to lie to his dad. He’ll worry more if he senses the lie. 

Relief bleeds into his thoughts when Baekhyun notices the design of the plate. The plate was one of the cheaper ones. Maybe his mom won’t get angry. 

Hyunwoo lets out an understanding sound as he cracks some eggs and whisks them with metal chopsticks. They’re from the city and Baekhyun knew his dad loves them. Not because of the quality, but because his mate got them. It makes Baekhyun feel a little bit of pity towards his dad. 

“Is it because you’re nervous for tomorrow night?” Hyunwoo asks, pouring the egg into the hot metal pan. The small fire dances and Baekhyun watches it for a moment. “It’s okay if you are but I hope you’re excited as well! You’ll finally meet your mate!”

Baekhyun leans against the small table, avoiding the chair at the head of the table in case his scent lingers around it. “What if I don’t, dad? This will be my third moon.”

“You won’t if you keep thinking like that,” the older omega replies. “I’m sure you’ll find them.”

There were unspoken words in the air between them. A blooming fear. 

“Maybe,” Baekhyun replies, not wanting to deal with the questions and concerns that would arise if he were to respond with what he really thought. 

Baekhyun doesn’t want a mate, he doesn’t want to become like his dad, subjected to an alpha or beta his whole life, expected to obey. 

He wants to fall in love first, wants to be given the opportunity to know someone, to learn about their wants and desires, memorize the lines of their face, the color of their eyes, the way their lips shape around their laugh. He wants to choose his mate. 

But that’s not possible. 

Now he’s twenty-four, still unmated. Baekhyun’s supposed to be pregnant by now. Matured at nineteen, ideally find a mate during his first moon experience, and be mated by at least twenty-two. Starting a family before he hits twenty-five. That’s how it’s supposed to be. That’s what is taught in his pack. 

His mother is a firm believer of this. 

She also made it clear that if Baekhyun didn’t find his mate this Blue Moon, then he’ll be kicked out. It’s not an unusual thing here in the pack but Baekhyun just never thought it could happen to him . And while he could look at it as a chance to finally get away from his manipulative mother, he won’t leave his dad to fend for himself. 

Baekhyun watches as his omega father turns the egg, side dishes already on the table. 

This scene is familiar. His dad waking up early to make breakfast for his mate before she goes off into the city for work. He’ll spend the day doing his duties for the pack and then cleaning the hut, making sure his alpha comes home to a clean house and the perfect omega. 

Baekhyun wonders if his dad resents his life.

He doubts it. Hyunwoo isn’t the type of person to question things. Too loyal, too naive. Too devoted to his mate to realize he’s being manipulated and emotionally abused. 

Baekhyun would rather die than turn out like his dad. 

Baekhyun bites the inside of his cheek as he watches his dad pour coffee into a mug. There’s no electricity this early in the morning so it’s made by using the dripping method. Baekhyun wonders how early his dad had to wake up for that. It would be easier if they lived in the city.

It’s logical, his mother, the alpha of this household works in the city. Spends hours, sometimes nights over there.

 Baekhyun feels a bitter taste in his mouth. She probably doesn’t want to risk exposing his dad to resources that will allow him to realize the situation he’s in. She probably doesn’t want him to start thinking about being independent. Typical alpha, always wanting to control their mate, control everything around them. 

His dad hands Baekhyun the mug, almost filled to the brim with coffee. “Can you taste it? You know how your mother likes it.”

Baekhyun doesn’t, he just memorized how many tablespoons of sugar she wants. But he drinks it, the bitterness from the coffee mixing nicely with his bitterness towards his mother. The coffee needs a little more sugar. 

“How is it?” Hyunwoo asks, hopeful. 

Baekhyun lies, “It’s perfect.” He’ll sneek some sugar in there when his dad’s back is turned around. 

“Really?” His dad beams with a smile. “Yesterday, she told me it was too bitter. She’ll be happy it turned out nice today, right?”

Baekhyun forces himself to smile gently. “Of course, dad.”

He’s raging inside, there’s anger bursting underneath his skin. He wants to scream out all the restrained emotions in his lungs because this isn’t fair, his mother’s expectations aren’t fair and they’re cruel. Because she’s the reason why his dad lost his sense of taste and smell. 

The anger dripping within him causes the blooming of a thought Baekhyun has had for a while now. If he doesn’t find a mate and is kicked out, maybe he can convince his dad to come with him. 

As Baekhyun watches his dad’s face light up when his mother steps into the kitchen, he knows his father would never agree. Sadness and pity fills him up like a concrete mold. Heavy with finality.  

“Did you sleep well?” Baekhyun’s dad asks as he hovers over his mate’s right shoulder. Ready to do anything that is demanded of him. A perfect omega.

Byun Bongcha takes her time chewing, reading the report next to her plate of eggs. The silence drags along the air, mocking the hopeful expression on Hyunwoo’s face. 

Baekhyun clenches his jaw, anger burning his tongue. He knows his mother is drawing this out on purpose, knows she likes toying with her mate. Baekhyun wants to snap at her, he wants to obliterate her inflated sense of self-importance, the entitlement that compromises her entire being.

“Please don’t interrupt me while I read over this report.” Bongcha replies, cool and vicious. 

Bullshit. Baekhyun is sitting across from her and he knows she isn’t reading anything. His eyes flicker to his dad’s expression. There’s hurt in his eyes, deep and fresh. Familiar. 

“Of course,” Hyunwoo says, the embarrassment in his voice stings Baekhyun. Baekhyun looks back at his mother, glares at her, tries to force her to meet his eyes. She actively ignores Baekhyun, pushing back a strand of black hair. Unbothered.

Baekhyun struggles to keep his voice steady when he speaks, “Dad, why don’t you come sit next to me?”

“Your father is fine there.” His mom says, shoving a spoonful of soup into her mouth.

Baekhyun grits his teeth. “I wasn’t asking you. ”

“Baekhyun,” His dad scolds, glancing at his mate. “Be respectful to your mother! And…” He hesitates a bit, obviously waiting for permission. It angers Baekhyun, no one should need permission to speak their minds. 

Bongcha continues to eat, eyes on the sheets of paper in front of her. Seemingly too good for this conversation. Too good for her mate and child. 

Baekhyun’s dad continues, his voice softer this time. “Thank you for the offer, Baekkie but I’m perfect here, with your mother.”

“He’s too old to be called Baekkie.” Bongcha says, setting down her spoon onto the bowl with a clink.

Baekhyun watches with a tight chest as his father moves to take the bowl away but is stopped when his mother raises her hand. It’s nauseating how this alpha, his mother , treats her mate. As if he was a house servant. The indignation of it all isn’t new and it grins at Baekhyun. 

Hyunwoo opens his mouth, most likely going to spew agreements and affirmation, but Bongcha doesn’t give him a chance. “Why are you still here? Mu Zhang said the Appeal starts at sunrise.” She looks directly at Baekhyun and the lack of motherly love is expected. The hurt Baekhyun feels is steadfast, dreadfully familiar. 

“I overslept,” Baekhyun lies easily. “And I ate already so I can’t go impure to the Goddess.” Another lie. 

“You’re so selfish.” His mother replies, her pretty, brown cool eyes narrow. “You know we’ll be the talk of this pack when they notice you aren’t there. Especially since this is your third Blue Moon. If anything, you should have kneeled next to Mu Zhang since the beginning of the month. You need this more than anyone, Baekhyun. And I cannot be pitied anymore.”

Baekhyun scoffs, unmeasured. “How did you manage to turn this about you?” He asks mockingly. He ignores the pleading look from his dad. “Besides, we haven’t attended a ceremony in years , I highly doubt the Goddess will bless an unfaithful child.”

As if Baekhyun will want to attend a ceremony that is meant to appeal to the Moon Goddess for a mate. He doesn’t even believe in the Moon Goddess. He knows his mother doesn’t either but that won’t stop her from trying to pick at his flaws, from guilt tripping him. It’s what she does, always trying to portray herself as the victim when she herself is the abuser. 

“And it obviously didn’t work,” Baekhyun adds, his words smirking as they jump out of his mouth. “So let’s not waste everyone’s time.”

The weight of his father’s stare is full with a fear so heavy that it threatens to collapse Baekhyun’s skull. Baekhyun ignores him, bravely holding his mother’s eyes. His heart is shaking but Baekhyun refuses to let its frightful beating be known. 

 He tries to read his mom’s face, body tense, his flight instinct on standby. There’s a guilty feeling mixing with his breath. Not the kind of guilt from talking sharply to his mother but the kind of guilt an omega feels when they’ve disrespected an alpha.

Baekhyun fucking hates it.  

There’s a brief stillness. A nanoscopic moment where the sun holds its breath. 

Everything happens so fast, the speed of a black-hole where everything is blurry for the time it takes to inhale. 

Bongcha raises her arm and pulls it back with an open palm so quickly, Baekhyun barely has time to blink. And when her hand was mere centimeters away from his cheek, Baekhyun’s arm shoots up instinctively, triggered by his internal instinct to protect himself. 

He stops his mother’s arm, the force and momentum seeping into his fingers curled around her wrist. The ugly feeling travels down his arm, rolling on top of his skin. 

His father gasps, sound lost in the echoing of Baekhyun’s heart, his ears ringing and his throat is tight and he’s surprised to feel tears rising up. He bite his tongue to stop them. 

Baekhyun stares at his mother, at this woman who is supposed to protect and care for him. Her shocked gaze burn’s him, leaving an imprint on his heart that he fears he’ll never get rid of. 

“Don’t touch me,” Baekhyun forces out and there is a whirlwind of emotions within him, raw anger and memories, memories of when he was too young, too scared to stand up for himself in situations like this. 

She hasn’t hit him in years. 

Not since the incident with his dad. Baekhyun can’t believe he was stupid enough to believe his mother had changed. In a way, he’s grateful for this moment. Maybe now, his dad will be convinced to leave this behind. Leave her behind.

“Let go of me.” Bongcha says in a measured voice, clearly angry in the way her red lips are pulled back into a sneer. “ Now .”

The temptation to tighten his fingers around her wrist is overwhelmingly present, stuffing Baekhyun’s mouth until it’s the only thing he can taste, the only thing he can breathe in. Baekhyun’s mother continues to glare, daring him almost. 

As if she wants him to do it. Want’s Baekhyun to hurt her so she can retaliate. 

There’s also the possibility of what she might do to his father. She isn’t above taking it out on an innocent person. As much as Baekhyun wants to fight, wants to release years of anger and resentment that has imprinted itself onto his heart, he won’t. 

He isn’t the only one at stake here. 

Baekhyun loosens his grip and Bongcha pulls back her arm quickly. 

She turns to her mate, “Is this what you’ve taught him? To disrespect his mother? An alpha? ” To Baekhyun’s horror, she grabs his dad’s arm, fingers ugly in it’s display of ruthlessness. “Is that what you think about me huh? That I’m not worthy of some fucking respect around here?”

“Let go of him!” Baekhyun shouts, hands gripping the edge of the table so hard he thinks his fingers are going to leave imprints. “He didn’t do anything!”

“Shut up!” His mother yells. “I am not speaking to you, omega. ” The way she sneers out omega trambles over Baekhyun. It leaves him feeling shameful for some reason. Humiliated. 

Baekhyun’s dad whimpers and the desperation of it breaks Baekhyun’s heart apart. “Honey, please, you’re hurting me–”

“Good!” She says, fuming. “That is a fraction of what I am feeling right now. I’m hurt too, I work hard to provide and I can’t even get some gratefulness? Any regard to my hard work?”

The words, You tried to hit me! scream in Baekhyun’s lungs but he tightens his grip on the table to keep himself from saying them. He’s scared it’ll only make this worse and the important thing right now is to get her to stop hurting his dad. But what can he say? 

“Alpha,” Hyunwoo whimpers out, the lines of his face tense with pain. “Alpha please, I’m sorry… I’m sorry for not raising our pup right, for being a bad mate… Alpha, I’m sorry…” 

Baekhyun watches with an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach as his dad tilts his head back, exposing the column of his neck. He’s submitting, showing the most vulnerable part of his body. But there are two things that are bothering Baekhyun. 

His dad isn’t doing this out of affection. He’s doing this out of fear. An omega should never fear their mate, their mate is supposed to protect them, supposed to love them. The familiarity of this scene playing out in front of him makes Baekhyun want to throw up. It’s disturbing, it’s toxic and the thought that this could be him in the future scares the shit out of him. 

“Please Alpha,” his dad continues, “Forgive Baekhyun, he’s just stressed for tomorrow and we’re so grateful for you, for your protection and for everything you provide for us…” 

Bongcha says nothing, only stares up into fearful eyes. Her expression gives away nothing, her scent is still raging but there’s no way Baekhyun’s dad can smell it. It’s like she’s keeping her face neutral on purpose, to torment. 

Baekhyun wants to say something, wants to string together words that will help his father out but instinctively he knows it’s best to keep his mouth shut. There is fear gripping him by the base of his spine. 

Fear that his mate will be the same. Manipulative, obsessed with controlling him. Baekhyun was lucky the first two Blue Moons but the probability of not finding his mate again is practically non-existent.

He’s terrified. 

Even after his mother removes her hands from his dad’s arm, the terror doesn’t leave. Baekhyun doesn’t think it will ever leave because the possibility of his future being like this is suffocating him, existing in the absence of happiness and hopefulness.

He wonders if he’s ever felt happy in his life. If he’s ever felt hopeful at the thought of being mated.

His mother leaves after that, gathers up her papers with more carefulness than she has ever shown to her family in decades. She grabs the briefcase that had been sitting beside her and she walks out, without a glance over her shoulder. 

Baekhyun knows that she’ll walk to the edge of the village, where the small bus to the city awaits, comfortably, without a second thought to what had just occurred. She’ll think of whatever she needs to to convince herself that she was right. That her mate and son deserved to be treated that way. 

After what feels like an eternity of silence, Baekhyun asks, “Dad… are you alright?”

Hyunwoo smiles a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “I’m fine, Baekkie. Why don’t you get ready for the Appealing ceremony? I made sure to wash your tunic last night, it should be in your closet. Your mother is right, you should have been there since sunrise.”

“But Dad…” Baekhyun trails off, he doesn’t understand . “That isn’t important, what’s important is making sure you aren’t hurt– ”

“Baekhyun.” The sharpness in his tone surprises Baekhyun. “Please do as I say. We wouldn’t want to disappoint your mother further and she will be very disappointed if you remain mateless after tomorrow.”

Baekhyun doesn’t attend the Appeal. 

He’s done the ceremony twice already. He’s worn dead, white cotton his limbs and kneeled in front of the Moon Goddess’ shrine with an empty stomach for twenty four hours. He knows the ceremony is bullshit. The wolves who do it are nothing but gullible and foolish for wanting to speed up the process of their forceful connection with someone.

Even if Baekhyun believed the ceremony worked, it would only drive him further away from it. 

Baekhyun had been reluctant to leave the hut. Not because he’s scared his mother would return but because he didn’t want to leave his dad alone. He didn’t want him to think that he has to hide his feelings, that he doesn’t deserve to be angry. To want a better life. 

But Baekhyun isn’t one to impose his presence. He can only hope his dad will talk to him if he wishes. 

Dressed in a knee length white tunic and loose, white pants, Baekhyun makes his way towards the right side of the village. He’s careful to avoid people, which isn’t too hard. 

The colors of the sun were still fresh, still tinged with darkness and so people were either sleeping, managing the handful of shops in the center of the village or attending the Appeal. 

Even so, Baekhyun spots three people on his way to Minseok’s hut. He ducks down when he sees them individually, every fiber in his being still. He doesn’t care about the gossip that would be said about him but he knows it would get back to his mother. He doesn’t want to give her any more reasons to lash out. 

Just one more day, Baekhyun thinks as he walks behind huts, quick and light. The only thing keeping him from being perfectly agile are the floppy sandals and the leather belt wrapped tightly around his waist. He should have brought a change of clothing but that wouldn’t have been very discreet. 

His steps speed up when he catches sight of Minseok’s deep red door. Minseok painted it because it’s his mates favorite color. Baekhyun wonders if Minseok is satisfied or if he’s truly happy. 

Are they happy because they fulfilled their primal need to mate and settle down or because they love each other? And is it truly love or just the guaranteed affection and pull of being destined mates?

Baekhyun feels guilty the moment that thought enters his mind. It’s not his place to ponder about things like that, nor is it right to judge Minseok and Yixing. He knows not everyone is as bleak as he is. 

Baekhyun knocks when he reaches the door, knowing Minseok is home based on the fresh, familiar scent surrounding the hut. 

He hears shuffling and then the door swings open. Minseok already has a smile on his face and the familiarity of it causes happiness to fill Baekhyun. 

“Baek, hi! I wasn’t expecting you!” Minseok exclaims as he reaches over to hug Baekhyun. The hug is quick and Baekhyun breathes in the comforting alpha scent of his friend. Minseok pulls away, still beaming. “How have you been?”

Baekhyun is grateful Minseok didn’t ask about his outfit or about the Blue Moon. They’ve been friends long enough to read each other well and Baekhyun feels an ache in his chest. It’s been far too long since they’ve talked. 

“I’m okay,” Baekhyun says, trying to force some sort of cheerness into his voice. The flash of worry in Minseok’s warm eyes tells him the effort had been in vain. “How’s Yixing and Meiying? Are they home?” 

Minseok’s eyes light up but the worry is still there, steady and warm. “Yixing went to help out his mother for the Appeal. Mu Zhang said it’s time for him to learn about spirituality.” There’s a fondness in Minseok’s words. “But Mei is here.” Minseok looks over his shoulder and calls out for his daughter. 

Immediately, there are quick, excited steps running towards them. When Baekhyun catches sight of the grinning girl, the ache in his chest is present again. She looks bigger than the last time he was here, no longer a toddler. Almost eleven if Baekhyun remembers correctly. He feels guilty for having been absent in Minseok’s life.

Mei, thankfully, still remembers Baekhyun.

“Hi Baek!” She yells, throwing herself at Baekhyun’s torso, arms wrapping around his legs. She looks up at him, smiling and Baekhyun is filled with an instinct to protect and cherish this pup. He doesn’t know if it’s because she is Minseok’s daughter, because she’s an omega as well or because it’s a primal instinct of his. 

“Hi!” Baekhyun replies, the cheer in his voice natural, the smile on his face full. “How have you been? How are your lessons?”

Mei pouts. “I hate math but I really love painting! I made a lot of paintings, do you want to see them? Dad and Baba said they’re really pretty!”

“I would love to!” Baekhyun reaches down and ruffles her light brown hair affectionately. “But later okay? I have to talk to your dad for a little bit.”

“Okay,” Mei sighs, obviously disappointed in the way her energy dims, like stars during dawn. It makes Baekhyun feel guilty.

Minseok intercepts. “Why don’t you go finish your reading? We’ll go inside soon.”

Mei agrees, albeit reluctantly. 

As Baekhyun watches her go, it occurs to him that he’s never thought about having pups. As an omega, it’s expected of him, surely his mate will desire some. But Baekhyun has never given children much thought. In that brief moment where a second turns into two, Baekhyun realizes that the prospect of being a parent scares him. 

Minseok turns to Baekhyun, the worried look in his eyes still there. “What do you want to talk about, Baek? Is there something wrong?”

Baekhyun flicks his gaze to Minseok. “I want to learn how to defend myself..”

“Why?” There is alarm in Minseok’s tone, in the manner in which his eyebrows raise. “Is your  mom hurting you again?”

“She tried to slap me this morning,” Baekhyun says, swallowing the anger rising up within him. “I stopped her instinctively but it’s not just because of that.” He takes in a deep breath. “If I meet my mate tomorrow, I won’t have much say and if they’re anything like my mom–” Baekhyun cuts himself off. “I just want to be prepared.”

Minseok nods. “I get it, Baek. Your reason makes me sad but… I understand. It’s better safe than sorry.” He makes a gesture for Baekhyun to come inside. “You should change into something more comfortable.”

Baekhyun steps inside, thanking Minseok. The brief relief caused by Minseok agreeing is quickly pushed under by great apprehensiveness. He hates that he’s thinking of this, hates that the thought of having an abusive mate even occurred to him. 

But he has to take this precaution. 

“I’ll teach you some basic moves,” Minseok starts. 

Baekhyun nods, shaking out his arms, wiggling his fingers. He was out of that tunic, wearing Minseok’s t-shirt and sweats. Thankfully they’re around the same size. 

Baekhyun takes in a breath, breathing in the anticipation in the air, the woods behind Minseok. Thankfully Minseok lives mere strides from the woods, the perks of being mated to a Mu in training. Who knows when Yixing might be in need of some herbs or a spiritual run with the Goddess?

“I’m ready.” Baekhyun replies. His skin is tingling with suspense and he’s eagar. 

Eager to learn, eager to take control of his life. Baekhyun won’t allow himself to go into a relationship blinded. He needs this, he needs to know that he’s capable of taking care of himself. Because no one else is going to.  

“Always go for the eyes, nose, throat, and groin.” Minseok points to his own features. “Avoid the chest and knees. Unless you’re heavier and stronger than the other person, aiming for the chest will be ineffective. Aiming for the knees requires a kick with a lot of strength behind it and it’s too risky for you.”

Baekhyun brings his eyebrows together. “Wait wouldn’t it be easier if I shift?”

Minseok shakes his head. “No, as an omega you’re at a disadvantage. Your wolf will be faster yes, but unless you’ve trained in your wolf form and built up your muscles and stamina, you’ll be at a great disadvantage.” 

“I should have,” Baekhyun thinks out loud. Bitter. “If only this pack allowed omegas to train too.”

“You have to work with what you have.” Minseok says solemnly. “As a human, you’ll be at a more even playing field.”

“Okay,” Baekhyun says firmly. Minseok’s words do nothing but make him more determined to learn.

“So here’s a basic move, a kick to the dick.” Minseok gets closer to Baekhyun, reaching out and pushing his shoulders down. “You need to try to stabilize yourself as best as you can, so bring up your arms, elbows tucked in. Yeah, just like that.”

Baekhyun balls  his hands and he spreads his legs further apart, trying to distribute his weight evenly. “Like this?

Minseok nods. “Yeah that’s good. So you’re there are two ways to do this. If your attacker is close, like this,” Minseok shifts closer, until the tips of his shoes are touching Baekhyun’s. “Then you’re gonna want to thrust your knee up but make sure you’re stabilized okay? Or else you’ll fall over. Try it.”

Baekhyun pushes his knee forward, slowly, careful not to put any real force behind it. He hovers his knee just below Minseok’s crotch. “Like this?”

“Yeah.” And then Minseok reaches out, very obvious in his movements. “Most likely, they’ll approach you reaching out or trying to grab you. That’s why you need to have your arms up like this, so it’s harder for them to hit your chest and stomach. Push their arms away after you've hit their crotch, not during.”

Minseok takes a few steps back, putting in a significant amount of distance between them. 

“Okay so here’s another way. This is if they’re approaching you. You’re going to want to stabilize yourself as best as you can and then you’re going to lift your dominant leg.” Minseok demonstrates by lifting his right leg off the ground. 

“And you’re going to push your leg upward, and extend it.” He tabs at his hips, leg still off the ground. “Drive your hips forward, and  your other leg is going to steady you and give you strength. You’re going to want to make contact with either your lower shin or the ball of your foot.” Minseok leans slightly back and he kicks out his leg, the bent to his leg is precise. Even from a distance, Baekhyun can see the power within that motion. 

“Did you get that?”

Baekhyun nods, eager to try. His heart is pounding from excitement, from the very real and tangible possibility that he’ll be able to walk around with his head up. That he will no longer be a helpless omega .

The only thing he can hope is for his inner wolf to control itself. He’s heard of how it’s impossible to be without your mate for a day, let alone hurt them.

 Baekhyun genuinely hopes he’ll be able to walk away. He refuses to be trapped by a life he did not choose but in the end it all comes down to instincts. 

And as an omega, as a being made for submission, his instincts can’t be trusted. 

The sun is nothing more than splashes of reds and oranges against a dark canvas when Baekhyun arrives home. 

He’s exhausted, the muscles in his legs and arms sore. His mind is fresh with emotions and ideas and wants, the tightness of his joints delights him. It’s the result of hard work, of no longer relying on anyone. 

He’s never felt like this.

 Secure. Sure in his own ability to protect himself. To stand his ground and not be bullied into submission. This power he’s given himself is so exhilarating that Baekhyun can taste it in his lungs, can feel the rawness of it threatening to split his bones apart. 

There is an odd giddiness curling around his bones. 

Baekhyun forces himself to push these thoughts away and focus. He’s standing in front of the door to his home but he needs to know if his mom is home, see if he should mentally prepare himself. 

He breathes in and the suffocating scent of alpha is there but it isn’t fresh. She isn’t home. Relief dances on Baekhyun’s hand as he pushes open the door. 

“Dad?” Baekhyun calls out as he shuts the door behind him. The kitchen and common room are empty save for some candles. 

Baekhyun picks up shuffling towards the back of the house and his dad turns the corner, a smile ready on his lips. He’s holding deep, almost black material in his arms, his energetic steps clashing with the sudden dread within Baekhyun. 

“You’re back!” Hyunwoo says, putting the material and what looks like scissors and measuring tape on the empty table. “How was it? Do you feel better now? More in tune with the Goddess?” 

“Yes, the ceremony went well.” Baekhyun says easily, still eyeing the material on the table. If his father still had his sense of smell, he would know Baekhyun is lying. He would no doubt smell the sweat on Baekhyun’s skin.

“You must be starving, it makes me sad that you can’t eat all day for the Appeal.” Hyunwoo turns to the stone stove where a big pot is sitting, a low fire crackling underneath it. “I was pretty busy all day so I made some miyeok guk, I hope that’s alright.”

Baekhyun nods reassuringly even though his dad can’t see him. “That’s perfect, the seaweed was about to go bad anyway. Don’t worry about it.” Baekhyun understands where his father’s concern comes from. His mother prefers more full meals with lots of side dishes, complaining when she comes home to a simple dish. 

His dad starts filling up a bowl and Baekhyun goes to grab some rice. When his dad faces him, bowl of miyeok guk close to his chest, he says, “Did you go to the ceremony with your belt inside out like that?”

“Huh?” Baekhyun looks down and notices the rough, unpolished leather was facing out instead of the shiny black side. “Oh I didn’t notice.”

His dad brings his eyebrows together. “Really? Did no one tell you?”

Baekhyun tries to think of something to say. He had been in a hurry putting his clothes back on at Minseok’s hut. “We weren’t allowed to speak to each other,” Baekhyun pushes out, trying to sound nonchalant. “Just to Mu Zhang if she asked us anything.”

“Oh that reminds me!” His dad places the bowl of food down on the table, excitement building in his eyes. “What did Mu Zhang say about your mate? Anything new this time?”

Baekhyun bites the inside of his cheek. He doesn’t want to think about this, he wants to change the subject. Talking about his destined mate makes him uncomfortable, forces him to think of them as an actual person, of the dreary reality. Baekhyun tells his dad the things that had been told to him during the past Appeals he had been forced to attend.

“Nothing new,” Baekhyun answers vaguely. He avoids his dad’s eyes. “It was the same, tall, strong, unique ears.” Baekhyun still doesn’t know what to think about that last characteristic.

His dad grins, beaming and excited, as if it’s the first time Baekhyun has told him this. “That’s still reassuring! It sounds like your mate might be a man,” Hyunwoo teases. “A strong man for my pretty Baekhyunnie~”

Baekhyun feels heat rising up, embarrassment mixing with slight discomfort. It feels odd, being called pretty. It feels like that’s all he is; a pretty omega who would look even more pretty next to a tall, strong man. Or woman. 

Baekhyun knows wolves have preferences on gender and status but he’s never thought that far. It doesn’t matter if he wishes for a person who identifies as a man or a woman or as simply a person. It doesn’t matter if he longs for someone with a certain height and certain features. 

Wishing for all of that is stupid and useless because there is nothing about destained mates that leaves room for choice. All Baekhyun can hope for is someone who’s decent . He’s not in any position to want more. 

There’s also the terrifying possibility that, if his mate is indeed someone taller and stronger than him, Baekhyun could be in trouble.

“Aww, are you blushing?” Baekhyun’s dad coos, smile growing with fondness that dazzles his lips and eyes with light. 

Baekhyun doesn’t know how to tell his dad about his thoughts, doesn’t want to ruin the moment. It’s been a while since he’s seen his dad smile like this, since they’ve shared a moment. 

So Baekhyun tucks his chin towards his chest, hoping it gives off the impression that he’s being bashful. The action feels very wrong.

“So cute! Your mate is going to be so lucky,” his dad says, reaching out and ruffling Baekhyun’s brown hair, slightly wet from sweat. “Speaking of your mate, I’m almost done with your outfit! Go change out of your tunic, hurry before the food gets cold!”

“You don’t need to make an outfit for me,” there’s the curve of frown on Baekhyun’s plush lips. “I can just wear the ones from previous years.”

His dad looks at him in an incredulous manner. “No, you are not! I promise I won’t go overboard alright? Now go change!”

Baekhyun bites the inside of his cheek, there’s stubbornness stuck underneath his tongue. He doesn’t quite know where it came from, usually with things like this, he tends to answer vaguely and push the subject away. He can’t this time. 

There’s a reality to it now, it’s shocking and it’s creating panic within him. The Blue Moon is tomorrow night and he will either find his mate, or be forced to move out. And putting on a nice shirt and some makeup will only make things worse. 

“No.” Baekhyun says, trying to swallow his hesitancy. “Sorry but– I don’t want it.”

His dad frowns, confusion written on his face rather than anger. “Don’t you want to look pretty for your mate, Baekhyunnie?”

Baekhyun takes a breath and says, “I don’t want a mate.” 

There is a brief moment of silence, so short it doesn’t even give the stars outside a chance to breathe. 

Baekhyun wonders if he made a mistake telling his dad but it feels good to finally say something. There’s a strange kind of freedom in the silence, in exposing himself and his practically taboo thoughts. He feels liberated in this moment where he is shackled to the future, to the expectations, to a situation he did not choose nor want. 

Baekhyun sees the exact moment his dad decides to brush it off, can see it in the slight tightness around the corners of his eyes, in the way he says dismissively, “Oh Baekkie, you’re just nervous! Everyone wants a mate!”

The disappointment is crushing. 

It drags Baekhyun’s heart to the ground, breaking ribs on the way towards the earth’s core. The heavy feeling of being brushed off, of having his feelings labeled as insignificant and invaild hurts. It hurts more than Baekhyun would have thought. 

But he isn’t going to back down now, the words are out there and soon, he’ll most likely be dragged off by someone he'll be forced to mate with or left to fend for himself. There is nothing he can say that will make things worse. 

He pushes on, a lump of urgency and slight futration stuck in his throat.

“No, I’m serious, I don’t want to be mated against my will.” There is a slight pick up in his voice towards the end. Baekhyun struggles to contain the rising panic shimmering underneath his skin. 

“It’s not going to be against your will,” Hyunwoo replies like a parent does to an irrationally angry child. “Your omega is going to want them especially when your heat comes.”

“Exactly, my wolf will want them. But what about me?” Baekhyun asks and there’s an intensity to his voice, desperate to be understood.

“Baekhyun,” his dad replies, eyebrows furrowing, “you can’t separate yourself and your wolf, you’re both the same person.”

“I’m trapped by these animalistic instincts you mean,” Baekhyun snaps. He feels guilty when he sees his dad’s face fall a little and tries to backtrack, tries to spare his feelings. “I’m not saying I won’t want to be a wolf, what I’m trying to say is–” Baekhyun exhales, trying to string his thoughts together, trying not to get too overwhelmed with his emotions swirling like a galaxy. 

“Why should I devote myself to a stranger first and then get to know them? That’s not–” he struggles a little. “That’s not how things are supposed to be done, I don’t want to just choose my life partner on the basis that they smell good!”

Baekhyun looks at his dad, actually looks at him, trying to see the exact moment where he’ll understand what Baekhyun is trying to say. He doesn’t find it.

“I don’t… I don’t see the problem Baekkie.”

Baekhyun wonders if he should say what he’s thinking and then he decides that he should, that it’s time to stop avoiding difficult topics. Avoiding things isn’t going to help anyone. It gives a false sense of security, only delays the inevitable hurt that will come sooner or later.

“What about mom?” Baekhyun says, easing into it, not wanting to push everything at once onto his dad. “Would you have chosen to be your mate?”

“Of course,” Hyunwoo says immediately, no hesitance hugging his words and lips. “She is my mate, why wouldn’t I want her?”

“What I mean is…” Baekhyun tries to rephrase his words, tries to show his thoughts in a different light. “If destined mates didn’t exist, would you still choose mother as your mate? Do you understand what I'm trying to say? The idea of being able to choose someone instead of being driven by instinct. To not have to take that gamble on knowing whether you’d be happy after mating with a complete stranger."

“I understand but…” Baekhyun’s dad wears a puzzled expression and it makes Baekhyun angry for some reason. Frustrated. “that's not the world we’re living in. Baekkie, you’re thinking about it too much.” He says gently and it irks Baekhyun even more. He hates how he’s being handled like someone delicate, dismissed because his words are uncomfortable. “You should rest, eat your food and I’ll finish the outfit, tomorrow is a very important day–”

“I am not thinking too much.” Baekhyun snaps. There’s a build up of emotions within him, a rise of mostly exasperation and the need to make his dad understand. “I’m scared my mate will be like mom alright? What if— what if they’re mean and— hurt me and I’ll end up—”  

I’ll end up like you, Baekhyun thinks, the words caught in his throat, ripping at his flesh, begging to be let go. But he won’t say them. He has no intention of hurting his dad, he’s not the one Baekhyun is angry at.

“Oh Baek, you have nothing to worry about alright? Everything—” Hyunwoo inhales and it causes his eyebrows to drop with worry. “Everything is going to be just fine! You’ll meet your mate, fall in love, have pups and live a long and happy life!” 

For the first time in his life, Baekhyun realizes how effortlessly his dad brushes things off. So natural that Baekhyun wouldn’t even have noticed it happened. But the strain in the lines of his dad’s face, the manner in which his voice is tight around syllables, nouns and verbs give it away. 

“The Moon Goddess wouldn’t intentionally make you miserable,” his dad adds. He starts to move away from the table, a clear indication that this conversation is over.

“Are you miserable?” Baekhyun asks. He no longer wants to play this game, it’s annoying him and he’s starting to wonder if he’ll ever get a clear answer. His father is good at playing diplomat apparently. 

He gets a reply instantly, an instinct reply lacking actual thought and consideration. “No, no of course not. I know… I know your mother and I have had our ups and downs but that’s just life, it’s bound to happen…”

“So her hitting and yelling at you is okay then?” Baekhyun’s voice is sharp, splitting the stars outside in half. Their guts fall down and mingle with the mild anger running through his veins. He doesn’t know if it’s his place to feel angry.

His dad adverts his eyes. ”It’s more... It's more complicated than that. Your mother… she’s under a lot of stress and at the end of the day she loves us...” 

As he watches his father struggle to defend his mate, his abuser, Baekhyun once again is reminded why he does not want to form a bond with a stranger. 

He doesn’t wish to be the man in front of him, years from now, struggling to defend a bad person simply because of a bite mark on his neck. Because he didn’t have control over his wolf. 

Something snaps within Baekhyun and pity floods his system, fills up all of the molecules that make up his entire being. 

“If I don’t find a mate,” Baekhyun says carefully, softly. Not wanting to scare his father by approaching too fast, too much. “Come with me. Leave mom and come.”

His father looks at Baekhyun. There’s something in his eyes, flickering for a moment or two against the light brown canvas. Baekhyun dares to think he’s considering it. There’s a millisecond of silence.

And then: “Don’t say things like that. The lack of food is affecting you.”

Baekhyun lays on his cot, wrapped in furs, staring into the ceiling, full of food. 

He didn’t bring up the subject again, instead he ate as quickly as he could while his dad busied himself with his sewing machine. The light, mechanical nose of it filled the space, thankfully leaving no room for the awkwardness Baekhyun felt to manifest itself into the air. 

As Baekhyun stares up to the dark ceiling, the faint noise of the sewing machine in the background, he realizes it’s been awhile since he’s heard it. It used to be a constant during his childhood and then his dad stopped.

It takes Baekhyun a moment before he remembers. 

His mother had been annoyed, screaming about the noise. Threatening to throw the machine away. Asking why he needs to sell his creations when she’s bringing in money. It’s an insult to her, she had yelled. It insults her as an Alpha. 

Baekhyun wonders how long his dad had been making the outfit in secret. 

He feels guilty. 

And he decides, despite his reservations and feelings, he’ll wear it. Not because he wants to feel pretty but because he doesn’t want his dad to feel unappreciated. He doesn’t want to be like his mom. 

He falls asleep. Somewhere in between the world of conscious and sub-consciousness, Baekhyun realizes that his mother never said whether she’s coming back or not.

Baekhyun wakes up to the sight of his dad slumped against the couch, neck craned upward. When he asks if his mother had somehow let them know she wasn’t returning, his dad shakes his head. 

“No, she didn’t send a note or a message,” Hyunwoo yawns, stretching his arms above his head.

Baekhyun tries to bite back the anger that tastes like acid. “How hard is it to let us know?” 

“She must have been busy,” His dad responds vaguely, sitting on the couch. Before Baekhyun can say something else, his dad adds, “Tonight’s the Blue Moon. Let’s get you ready.”

Baekhyun swallows the objections that struggle to rise out of his throat and take the form of words. It burns and Baekhyun has to remind himself that it’s just for today, to please his dad and then he can leave. 

He doesn’t know where he’ll go or what he’ll do but he’d rather face that than be mated against his will. Being kicked out is the lesser evil and he will be kicked out. He can’t rely on his dad to stand up for him, despite the obvious way he disapproves of the entire situation. 

Baekhyun knows he isn’t in any place to resent his dad. He understands how bonds work, how submissive an omega becomes in the presence of their mate. 

Still, he can’t help but feel bitterness dipped in anger as his dad excitedly tells Baekhyun about his outfit. 

Baekhyun starts the day with a big breakfast that is meant to leave him stuffed and full for the rest of the day. 

The implication that he won’t have time to eat something later in the evening because he’ll be mating makes Baekhyun not want to eat a single thing. But his dad took his time so Baekhyun forces himself to eat everything, resisting the urge to throw everything up and curl in his bed. 

After doing this two times, there is no anticipation on his part, no nervousness. There is only dread, settling deep within him, taking root in his spine, moving up into his ribs and caging in his heart. 

There is hope in his dad’s face during breakfast, in the way he suggests for Baekhyun to start packing his things for when he moves out to live with his mate. It makes Baekhyun feel strange, conflicted. A part of him wants hope tonight is a success so he can avoid disappointing his dad.

“Hey dad?” Baekhyun asks after drinking water.

“Yes?” His dad replies, food still on his plate.

“I’m not going to attend the pre-run. Or the praying ceremony.” Baekhyun tries to sound nonchalant despite his anxiety. 

“The praying ceremony I can understand but why not the pre-run?” Hyunwoo asks. “I thought you liked it.”

“I do,” Baekhyun tells him, chewing on his bottom lip. “But I’m really tired, I wouldn’t be able to keep up.”

The only reason Baekhyun liked the pre-run was because he could do it with his friends. But Minseok and Jongin already mated and being surrounded by newly matured wolves would only make Baekhyun feel insecure. Subjected to side glances and whispers.

His dad looks like he’s about to protest and so Baekhyun quickly adds, “I’ll run on my own after I wake up.”

“Wake up?”

“Yeah, I think I’m just gonna go take a nap.”

Baekhyun watches as his dad’s eyebrows meet in the middle of his face. “Don’t you think you should pack, Baekhyunnie? To save time for later.”

“It’s not a guarantee I’ll find my mate,” Baekhyun says heavily. Still, perhaps he should pack, for when he inevitably gets kicked out. 

His dad reaches across the table and takes Baekhyun’s hands in his own, soft and pretty. “You will find your mate.” He says with enough sincerity and intention that for a brief moment, Baekhyun finds himself hoping his dad is right. 

The moment is brief, the time it takes for a raindrop to fall and splatter it’s guts on the ground. 

Maybe Baekhyun’s tiredness showed more than he thought because in the end, his dad simply nodded. 

“I’ll wake you up before sundown.” He promises.

And with the feeling of having his heart twisted, trepidation on the tip of his tongue, and uneasiness tucked into the lines of his body, Baekhyun goes to his room and sleeps. 

Tries to sleep the reality away, the heavy feeling of bricks in his lungs, holding him down, preventing him from ascending into another reality where he at least had the chance to fall in love. 

There are few moments where Baekhyun feels alive. 

Where he can feel the pressure of every breath, the cellular movements of his body, the manner in which he is existing. This is why he likes shifting because he isn’t a prisoner to his human mind, shackled to his burdens. For a brief moment in time, Baekhyun has broken free. 

Baekhyun continues to walk around the forest, not really in the mood to run around. He can feel the moving dirt underneath his paws and it’s humbling somehow, being intune with nature. His tail is low, relaxed, brushing against branches and tree trunks. 

In this form, he’s more inclined to sniff everywhere. The urge is lightly present when he is human but it’s like he has to when he’s a wolf. It’s instinct, Baekhyun knows that but what about when it’s about mating? When it’s about submitting to a mate?

Normally Baekhyun would dwell on this train of thought but the moment he catches a whiff of a scent, his mind forgets it. It’s relieving really. Baekhyun is tired of worrying over things he can not control. 

Baekhyun presses his snout lightly on the lingering scent, cherry black nose twitching. It’s a familiar scent, from a pack member. It’s evident in the way that Baekhyun doesn’t feel alarmed by it. 

There isn’t the sour tinge of urine in the scent so the wolf wasn’t marking territory but the way their scent lingered in the surrounding areas indicated that the wolf purposefully brushed against the leaves and trees. They must have been participating in the pre-run. 

Baekhyun knows this technique. It’s meant to leave an easy trail for destined mates to find each other during the Ceremony. Baekhyun has never done it before and he definitely isn’t going to do it tonight. 

Baekhyun stops sniffing and lifts his big head upward, inhaling, trying to clear his nose. He shakes out his fur, taking satisfaction in the way his fur moves and the satisfied feeling afterwards. 

In the end, Baekhyun has to run tonight. Even if he were to stay home, there will still be a pull to go out and search for a mate. And in the morning, when his mother most likely throws him out, the last thing Baekhyun wants is to be sore. 

So Baekhyun stretches a little, presses his body closer to the ground while sticking out his hind legs. The sun is starting to hang low in the sky, like heavy fruit on a branch, so Baekhyun knows his run will have to be relatively short. Still, he needs to stretch out his muscles for the Blue Moon ceremony. 

There is undeniable strength flowing within Baekhyun. Through his limbs, his fur, the precise manner of his paws landing on the earth. 

Run, Baekhyun thinks as the world fades into shapes moving too fast for the rotating planet to keep up with. 

He wants to run until his lungs collapse and his fur is ripped off of his body from the tugging wind. He wants to run until he too becomes a blur in the background, for that tiny moment where he is suspended in the ground, above all the burdens that tie him here. 

There’s an urge to run until his bones snap in half, until his flesh falls from his bones and his heart bursts from beating too fast—too much, always feeling too fucking much.

The feeling of the earth giving in from underneath his paws starts to fade away, replaced with a strange panic coursing through Baekhyun. He pushes himself to run faster, avoiding tree trunks and overgrown roots. 

What’s stopping him from leaving right now? From running towards the city or to another territory or another country? He can leave right now and he’ll make it if he tries hard enough, maybe get a job, or look for Jongdae in the city, he can do something, anything that will help him survive. 

Baekhyun changes his direction, starts to run in the direction where he knows the city is located. He’s only been there once, to get his diploma but he knows that if he runs long enough, the tree line will break. 

And he’ll be free. 

It feels wrong. 

Running in that direction feels really wrong. Even though his heart is racing at the same speed as his strides, it feels heavy, pulling him back. 

Annoyed, Baekhyun wants to keep pushing, he knows if he ignores it, he’ll be fine. But it’s hard to ignore a feeling that keeps dragging him down, trying to break his legs to keep him in place. Trying to take him back . 

With a sharp huff, Baekhyun slows down his strides, a frustrated growl building up in his throat. His claws extend out, sinking into the dirt and leaves covering the ground, keeping his balance. He turns in a circle, once, twice, and he knows where he’s at. 

If he runs at full speed, he’ll find the Dalsun creek. And once he crosses over, he’ll be out of his packs territory.

Free. Away from this pain that has infested his insides, spoiling his spirit and turning him hollow. 

So why is it so difficult for him to go?

Baekhyun thinks about his dad, his kind eyes and smile.  

That must be why, Baekhyun thinks, pawing at the ground. He isn’t selfish enough to leave his dad behind, despite already being told no. 

Baekhyun glances at the direction of the creek. He can hear the gentle sound of running water, splashing against rocks. Alive, moving in the direction it wishes. 

And then Baekhyun realizes that he’s a fucking coward. 

He loves his dad and wants to be with him but if he really wanted to run away, he would have done it years ago. He wouldn’t have waited this long, wouldn’t have gone through two ceremonies with the abuse in between. He’s about to go through his third one and yet he’s still here . 

Hiding behind the facade of being selfless, of caring after his dad. 

And not only is he a coward but there’s a part of him that hopes his mating will be different. That he might actually be okay and be loved. 

It’s humorous for some reason but also very sad. Having hope, daring to hope for things will only make it easier for his heart to from from disappointment. 

When Baekhyun arrives back home, there is a milk bath waiting for him. 

Baekhyun takes a regular bath first, sitting in the spare bathtub. He pours lukewarm water on top of himself with a small bucket, scrubbing off sweat, dirt and disappointment. 

It’s disappointing, knowing that when it comes down to it, Baekhyun didn’t have the guts to do anything. What does that say about him? 

He’s always resisted to live the existence that’s been given to him and yet, he’s still here. Getting pretty for a potential mate. 

There’s a soft knock on the wooden door. 

“Are you in the milk bath yet?” His dad calls from outside. “There’s only two hours left until The Run.”

“Almost!” Baekhyun calls out. 

He hears retreating footsteps and with that sound in the background, Baekhyun lifts himself up from the water. He carefully steps out, making sure he doesn’t slip. The early summer air is warm against his skin but there’s still a chill and so he hurries to the tub next to him, filled with milk and rose petals. 

Baekhyun steps in and sinks in, bending his legs to his chest before stretching them out comfortably in front of him. The white liquid settles on top of his naked body and Baekhyun sinks down until his chin is just above water. 

He doesn’t mind milk baths, it’s nice, relaxing. His skin feels really smooth and soft after but he isn’t dense. He knows what these baths are for. 

Baekhyun twirls a rose petal in between his fingers as thoughts mimic those movements in his mind. 

All his life, Baekhyun has always been told to make an extra effort with his skin.

Always exfoliating, masks and creams, a milk bath almost monthly leading up to each Blue Moon ceremony. Baekhyun doesn’t mind taking care of himself, what he minds is the reason for doing so. 

To be molded into the role of an omega.

He knows he looks like the perfect omega, with his short build, and ideal waist and hip curve. And yet it’s unsettling, being compartmentalized by his body, to have all of his other attributes pushed behind the fact that his skin is soft and his body built suggests he’s fertile. 

It’s upsetting and yet—

Baekhyun trails a finger down his leg underneath the water. Wondering how it would feel to be touched. 

Softly. Sensually and maybe even in an adoring manner. 

His own touch doesn’t send thrills up his body but he allows himself to imagine if his hand was someone else’s.

Someone else running a finger down the outer lines of his thigh, maybe another hand would be on his waist and perhaps a pair of lips on his neck, in his ear, whispering, moaning. 

Baekhyun feels a sensation in his lower stomach and he brings one leg up from underneath the liquid, bending it at the knee in an attempt to control that feeling.

He isn’t naive, he understands how it feels to be aroused. Even though he’s never held hands or shared a kiss with anyone, he has wrapped a hand around himself and gave himself pleasure many times. 

For a brief moment he wonders how it would feel to have someone else do it for him. How it would feel to have lips wrapped around his cock. 

Baekhyun tilts his head upward, forces his knee to come down. He wiggles his toes under the milk and the new sensation easily takes over the one in his lower stomach. Those thoughts are unrealistic.

Omegas aren’t expected to receive. 

Baekhyun sighs from his nose, trying to think of something that doesn’t involve touching someone or being touched. It’s futile. His thoughts twirl and pirouette into his memories, to when he was first told about his mate. Tall, strong, unique ears. 

Baekhyun touches his ears, milk dripping from his hands to his cheek. His ears are big although not very noticeable. Will his mate's ears be bigger? Baekhyun supposes that’s a good thing, having big ears is very beneficial for when someone is in their wolf form. 

Big ears, strong and tall. 

Sounds like a perfect mate, Baekhyun thinks and he intentionally disregards the strange swell of pride in his chest.

It’s his wolf, his omega who loves the idea of having a strong mate who will protect them. Of someone tall who will hold them easily and someone with big ears who will provide lots of meat and must be good at hunting. 

Baekhyun doesn’t look at it like that. 

A someone strong and tall is someone who can easily take advantage of a situation or of him . 

How is Baekhyun going to fight back if he needs to? And– it’s not like he wants to fight back. He will if he has too, he’ll resist a mating bond, claw it out of his skin if he has to but–

But Baekhyun really wishes he doesn’t have to.

He admits to still having some grains of hope that everything will be fine, that tonight he’ll meet his mate and they’ll be caring, reassuring and they’ll make him want to fall in love with them. 

Those are reasonable hopes.

To want to touch someone with his heart and to be touched as well. To experience adoration and form bonds with a person and spend his life feeling loved. Understood and cherished. 

Baekhyun feels like a fool to hope for something like that. 

When the sun is nearing the end of its life, slowly extinguished by the dark sky, Baekhyun and his dad leave the hut.

They walk towards the edge of the village, the southside where the sky line of trees are. It’s a relatively short walk, too short and with each step, the lump stuck in Baekhyun’s throat grows. 

They seem to be one of the last to arrive, Baekhyun notes as he scans the crowd, noticing the familiar faces of newly matured wolves, a couple of years younger than him. There are a handful of pack members who Baekhyun remembers seeing at the previous Blue Moon Ceremony but he’s the only one from his year.

Baekhyun watches as they talk excitedly, the dying sun a backdrop for their nervousness and eagerness. Not for the first time, Baekhyun reflects on the almost factual possibility that this is his mate's first ceremony. 

That is, if he finds them tonight. 

Baekhyun forces himself to look away.

He glances up at the full moon, still it’s silver color as it waits patiently for the sun to take its last breath. It mocks Baekhyun, almost passive aggressive and so he looks away, biting the inside of his cheek. 

“It’s almost time,” his dad tells him, his eyes tight around the corners. There’s a smile on his face, drawn outed by nervousness, and Baekhyun feels guilty for some reason. “Ready?”

“No,” Baekhyun says honestly, a little bit shaky as he internally unravels.

His dad’s smile falters. The guilt in between Baekhyun's fingers increases as does the silent space between them. The chatter around them continues. 

“Unfortunately,” Hyunwoo finally says, “the Goddess isn’t going to wait for you, honey.”

“I know,” Baekhyun replies, looking away. His mouth feels dry as he forces out, “Is mom really going to make me leave?”

“Let’s not worry about that now alright?” His dad says immediately. He clears his throat, obviously uncomfortable and Baekhyun has the urge to push him more. There’s a strange, twisting anger within his stomach and it’s startling. 

Baekhyun’s tired of his concerns being pushed aside. He’s tired of being silenced. 

Yet, he won’t say anything, he won’t call his dad out because he’s terrified of speaking out. Terrified of ruining the most precious human relationship he has in his life. 

“Okay,” Baekhyun replies, his voice dull, his jaw tight. 

There’s obvious relief in his dad’s face, swimming in the noticeable hollowness underneath his eyes. And yet he still says softly, “Please don’t be upset.”

It surprises Baekhyun, alarms him a little. His dad has never spoken to him in that manner, has never used a soft, uncertain tone. Baekhyun searches his dad’s face for a millisecond and it hits him then that he’s seen this before. 

It’s the same expression, the same tone his father uses when talking to his mother. When she’s on the verge of lashing out. 

Baekhyun feels his heart break and a sense of disappointment and disgust oozes out of it. 

Guilt is building up on him, bricks on top of bricks, a castle ruled by self-condemnation and waging a war against his conscience. Baekhyun has never– it was never his intention of coming off as aggressive or angry. Is his father so damaged that any sign of disappointment or coldness triggers his flight instinct? 

Will this be the path Baekhyun will be forced upon when he meets his mate in an hour or two?

A sharp sound of a horn being blown slices through Baekhyun’s thoughts.

Baekhyun’s eyes are instinctively trained to the sound. Because he’s at the back of the crowd and rather short, he has a difficult time seeing but he still catches a glimpse of the two remarkable figures standing in front of everyone.

Head Alpha Sangmi and Mu Zhang, the two most powerful women in the pack. 

They both wore their ceremonial clothing, white fox furs with heavy belts and ornaments in their hair. While Sangmi’s face is bare, Mu Zhang’s face has streaks of white paint, two lines on her forehead, circles on her cheeks and lines that lead to her mouth. 

They symbolized how she speaks for the Moon Goddess even if Baekhyun doesn’t quite believe in the goddess, he won’t deny the supernatural aura coming from Mu Zhang. 

As the last of the sun is retreating and making way for the night, the full moon seems to glow even more, as well as Mu Zhang. Baekhyun knows the moon will turn blue in a few minutes and then, his fate will be sealed. 

“Welcome everyone!” Head Alpha declares, a grin on her face. “In a few moments, the Blue Moon will appear and the Goddess will lead you all during the Run.”

There are cheers, smiles, hands clapping and all Baekhyun can manage is a weary smile. 

“I have received confirmation that those who reside in the city have already lined up on the other side of the woods.” She continues. “As always, once the Moon Goddess permits, when you run into the woods so will the other wolves and you may meet each other at some point, if the Goddess wills it. If it is not in your destiny to find your destined mate, please do not be discouraged. The Goddess has a reason for everything.”

Baekhyun thinks he sees her eyes flickering in his direction for a fleeting moment. “Please be safe and may your night and future be blessed.”

Alpha Sangmi takes a step back, allowing Mu Zhang to step forward and address the crowd. She closes her eyes for a moment, and breathes in and Baekhyun swears he can see the moonlight gathering around her. 

When she opens her eyes, they’re silver and despite having seen this two times before, Baekhyun is still amazed. He knows Mu Zhang has a touch of spirituality within her and despite being skeptical, this is one of those moments wherein he wants to devote himself to the Moon Goddess. 

The air around them thickens and becomes heavy with static and power. Baekhyun breathes in deeply, the oxygen sending shivers down his spine, carving into his bones. He feels energetic, he can feel his wolf clawing within him, begging to be let out.

And the time it takes for galaxies to touch each other, the moon turns blue. 

It’s a deep cobalt, almost unnoticeable against the dark sky and the stars and yet, it seems to take over the whole sky, commanding the canvas. 

Baekhyun can feel his control slipping, can feel his wolf pounding against his ribcage and so he shifts.

It’s quick, painless, natural and there's a rush of power within his bones. He shakes his fur and in the back of his mind he can see that everyone else has shifted as well but that doesn’t matter. 

Baekhyun paws at the ground, body visibly shaking, tail up. He sees a pair of feet next to him, stepping on his shredded clothes  and Baekhyun knows it’s his dad. Momentarily distracted, no longer under the swell of the moon light, Baekhyun brushes his head against his father’s stomach.

He receives a pat on the head and then there are hands brushing against his light brown fur, wrapping the strap of a satchel around his neck. His father loops it once, twice, loose enough for Baekhyun to shake it off but tight enough that it doesn’t fall. 

Baekhyun is impatient, the urge to run so instant that it threatens to crush his racing heart. It’s not about what he wants anymore, he’s being controlled by his instincts, by the need to find a mate and be mated. His mind is no longer his own, and there’s a fluttering of hope and wanting that feels false, doesn’t feel natural . 

And yet it is natural.

He and his wolf are the same, bonded together to make one person, one soul. But it’s times like this when the division between him and his wolf is evident, when they are not in tune with each other. 

Still, Baekhyun isn’t going to deny how much he enjoys this feeling. The feeling of being alive, of feeling the universe seeping into his fur. 

“Be safe,” his dad says into Baekhyun’s ear as it twitches around. Baekhyun huffs in acknowledgement and his dad takes a step back. 

A howl pierces through the sky, bleeding into high tension and it takes Baekhyun a star's breath to realize that he’s thrown his head back, howling. The sound resonates throughout his body, there vibrations in his throat and–

In the distance, barely noticeable from his own howls and of his pack mates, he can hear howls from the opposite side of the woods. They’re from the city wolves, their howls mixing beautifully with the dark sky and the Blue Moon’s light. 

Baekhyun takes a stride forward, and another, and another and so, The Run begins. 

Once Baekhyun starts running, the edge within him dissipates and his mind gives way for more clear thoughts. 

It takes him a moment to internally break away from this strange push he’s feeling. Baekhyun wrestles with his wolf for control, winning after a short while. He’s done this before, he knows how to get back into control. 

Baekhyun forces his strides to slow down, eventually stopping in a small clearing, surrounded by trees and bushes. He whips his big head around, snout turned up slightly, ears twitching, tail up. He can hear rustling all around him, the sounds of paws pounding on the floor and there’s yips and yelps, scents mingling everywhere. 

A testament of those lucky enough to find their mate, of those feeling the steady hand of the Goddess leading towards their partners, their soulmates. 

Baekhyun, as he listens to everything, as he takes in the tension, the electric currents in the air and the heavy gaze of the moon, feels nothing. He doesn’t feel a pull or a rush or a whirlwind of emotions. 

Baekhyun feels both relieved and crestfallen, the juxtaposition of these feelings slice through his soul. 

Baekhyun shakes his head, tuning out every sound except for the ringing in his ears, the satchel wrapped around himself thumping against his chest.

 This is what he wanted, what he had hoped for. The lack of the Goddess touch should bring some kind of joy, should finally allow Baekhyun to breathe for the first time in two years. 

Yet there’s a heavy feeling that tastes like sadness and Baekhyun is fighting to understand where it came from. 

Baekhyun huffs and paws at the floor. He needs to snap out of this strange haze that has settled upon him. He stares at the ground, color of brown underneath the blue moonlight. It’s faded, a perfect match to Baekhyun’s future. 

He turns around within the small clearing, once, twice, three times, moving his body to shake off the urge to sprint through the woods. 

He shakes his head, trying to get off the edge of what feels like insanity, trying to move past the strong impulse to rub his body against the ground, the tree trunks, the bushes, anything that will carry his scent, make it easy for his mate to find him. 

Mate mate mate mate his body screams, the words replacing his bones, taking over his molecules and muscles, his lungs, fooling Baekhyun into thinking that oxygen is overrated and Baekhyun finds himself throwing his head back and howling, clear and deep. 

Baekhyun cuts off just as quickly, just as unexpected and he holds his breath, traps it in the swollen compartments that are his lungs and he waits. 

He waits for a response, for a mirroring howl of desperation and want and yes, I’m here, I’m your mate to explode against the cool, dark sky but it doesn’t come.

 The only response Baekhyun receives is the noises around him, the howls of other wolves who have found their mates undreath the alluring blue tinted moon light. The same beautiful moon light coming from the moon who shines dark blue, staring down at Baekhyun, smiling a smile with passive aggressiveness carved into it. 

He wants to punch it. 

Baekhyun huffs, the air coming out of his snout sharply. 

He can still feel the energy coursing through his veins, the kind that makes him feel as if he’s seconds away from combusting, from howling and running and being convinced that the sun is purple. 

He’s gotten control of himself and that’s all that matters. 

Baekhyun runs at an angle, towards the Dalsun creek. 

He’s careful to avoid spaces where other wolves are, careful to avoid brushing his body against any vegetation. His heart is pounding against his ribcage, causing his chest to ache and the feeling of it is off putting. As if there’s a pull towards another direction. 

Baekhyun pays no heed to it, continuing to run carefully in the direction of the creek, using the blue tinted moonlight as his guide. The satchel wrapped around his neck hits his fur gently, yet heavy in the meaning it presents.  

He knows his mate is from the city. 

The Blue Moon ceremony happens all throughout, but for this area, it’s shared only between Baekhyun’s pack and those who reside in the city. Baekhyun would have known about his mate by now, even without the Blue Moon ceremony, if they resided within the pack. 

Based on this line of thought and reasoning, Baekhyun knows he should avoid the middle of the woods and inch towards the city. City wolves will naturally be going towards the pack and despite already believing his mate isn’t present, Baekhyun will take this precaution. 

He’s in no position to take any chances. 

Baekhyun wishes he could, he wishes he could take that chance, put all of his faith onto a stranger for the chance to feel alive, to feel the warmth in someone’s gaze, the fondness behind a charming grin—

The feeling of having a million suns explode inside of his lungs from just being in the presence of his destined mate. Because he loves them and they love him too. 

Baekhyun clamps his jaw tightly as he continues to run through the forest, careful in navigating through the brush. His paws thud on the earth, imitating the heaviness within him. 

Baekhyun doesn’t want to feel this sense of disappointment , of having lost something. 

So far, he’s learned that he isn’t as detached as he made himself to be. A part of him still holds on to a pocketful of hope of being mated happily. Of being loved. 

But Baekhyun is too uncertain, burdened by chains made of imperfections and doubts and emotional damage.

It’s exhausting. And Baekhyun knows better than to hope his mate would accept someone like him. 

Baekhyun can hear the soothing sound of running water, just behind some tree branches. He feels a sense of victory and he’s running strides quicken, ready to break through the leaves—

When suddenly, it feels as if he’s jerked backwards. He stops running, the only reason he kept his balance was because his claws sank into the earth. 

Baekhyun feels his breath caught in his throat, swelling to the point where he feels like he can’t breathe. He’s confused, he doesn’t understand why his body is acting like this and then–

He feels another pull, this time in the direction to his right, as though an invisible hand is wrapped around his tail, pulling him forcefully. 

Alarmed, Baekhyun shakes out his fur, a poor attempt of getting himself together, of regaining control of his mind and emotions. The pull is still present, the strain on his soul only grows in intensity and suddenly, Baekhyun understands clearly. 

Baekhyun clearly understands what is happening and–

and he’s petrified . 

His mind and body are at war with each other, his thoughts are pounding with the urge to resist, to run , his body however, refuses, stubborn in the way that Baekhyun isn’t able to move his limbs, isn’t able to even raise his chest to breathe, God he needs to breathe– 

Baekhyun’s ears perk up at the clear sound of running, of someone, of a wolf, running in his direction and Baekhyun spins around, body tense, fur raised up, tail high. The blue moon light spills over his body, as if reassuring him. 

Baekhyun’s heart throbs painfully in his chest, the anticipation swelling up within him. 

Baekhyun smells him before he sees him. 

Heavy, like the earth, fresh like the rain and he smells like strength and warmth and all the things that keep the stars shining, the sun rising every day. Desperation is interwoven with the scent, and Baekhyun breathes in sharply through his snout. 

Alpha. His mate is a male alpha. 

A big, dark brown wolf appears in front of Baekhyun. They lock eyes and Baekhyun’s omega is pushing so hard and is so restless to go to their mate that Baekhyun stumbles forward a bit. 

The action seems to snap the Alpha out of the trance he is in and he moves forward, careful, cautious, despite the excitement that Baekhyun can smell.

The Alpha's tail is wagging, fast and eager, ears perked up and his gaze is full of joy and so many emotions that it moves Baekhyun. 

Baekhyun can see clearly how much this means to the Alpha, to his— to his mate.

But Baekhyun isn’t going to let his guard down, he isn’t going give into this stupid urge of running up to the wolf and nuzzling his face against his neck and lick affectionately at his ears. 

He wants to shift, wants to be held, wants to tilt his neck and present himself and Baekhyun can’t do that. 

He can’t. He can’t give in, he has to keep himself safe. 

So he growls at the slowly approaching Alpha and it feels wrong. 

The feeling becomes worse when the Alpha doesn’t react in the way Baekhyun had expected. 

Baekhyun expected for the Alpha to growl back, to straighten his stance in an effort to become bigger, more dominant. 

Instead, the Alpha stops walking, his tail stops wagging, it drops and then he whimpers. 

The Alpha whimpers. 

He paws at the ground, jutting his snout in Baekhyun’s direction, sniffing, and Baekhyun realizes that his mate is worried. He can smell the anxiousness mixing within the strong, overpowering scent and— and it surprises him. 

He growled at his mate and yet, the Alpha is worried. 

Baekhyun’s thoughts are confirmed when the Alpha lets out a low whine. It’s alarmed, concerned, urgent in it’s worry and he’s telling Baekhyun that he’s sorry. 

Sorry for coming off too strong, the Alpha tells Baekhyun. I’m sorry for scaring you.

Baekhyun, filled with grief and dandelions blowing hope in his lungs, relaxes his posture.  

He huffs, makes a gesture towards the big tree behind him. Let’s shift, he says. 

The Alpha’s tail starts wagging again and his scent picks up, heavy with excitement and something that Baekhyun dares to believe is fondness.

Crouching behind a tree trunk, Baekhyun’s heart is pounding, threatening to take out his ribs. 

He’s shifted into his human form, the leather satchel laying on the floor. Thankfully the strap didn’t snap, he was supposed to shake it off before shifting but he had forgotten, his thoughts have become a sea of nervousness. 

As Baekhyun reaches down to pick up the satchel, he hears the sounds of bones rearranging and he knows the Alpha has shifted as well. His mate . 

Oh god, I have a mate, Baekhyun thinks, as his grip on the satchel tightens. His lips twitch and Baekhyun bites down on them, stopping the smile before it can take its first breath.

It’s his omega, they’re elated and they want to run into the Alpha’s arms, naked and all. 

But Baekhyun isn’t weak and so he shoves these instinctual urges down, deep within him until they’ve become nothing but a distinct flavor. They threaten to rise again when the Alpha’s scent reaches Baekhyun, curling around his naked body and just knowing his mate is near is enough to make him feel safe. Protected. 

Baekhyun breathes out through his mouth, trying to shake off this warmth that’s settled upon him. He needs to get a hold of himself. 

With a determined look on his face, he straightens himself from his crouched position, opening the satchel and pulling out the outfit his dad had made for him. 

Baekhyun already knew what to expect as he held it up in front of him. 

The top is midnight blue that Baekhyun knows compliments his golden complexion, and it’s pretty. The sleeves were long, up to his wrists but not tight, the sleeves are loose, light weight and see through. Along the sleeves and bodice are the phases of the moon, stitched in a slightly darker blue and Baekhyun isn’t going to deny the beauty of it.

His dad took his time making this and Baekhyun actually loves it.

But it’s made to be mated in, obviously in the very low v-neck, almost down to the middle of his chest, exposing his collarbones and neck. 

And because of that, Baekhyun finds himself twisting his lips into a displeased line. 

Suppressing a sigh, he slides the top on first, trying to smooth it out and fit it against his shape. It’s a bit tight on the sides, not exactly a corset but obviously meant to accentuate his waist but other than that, it’s pretty loose. 

It guarantees an easy way to take off and, if Baekhyun wanted, a way to tease with the flash of flesh. 

But Baekhyun has no desire to tease the Alpha changing a few yards in front of him. 

He quickly slides on underwear, a tight pair of black trousers, devoid of any intricate stitching,  socks and shoes. His dad had told Baekhyun not to bother packing any underwear.

“There will be no point once you start producing slick,” he had said to an uncomfortable Baekhyun. 

His dad made a point and Baekhyun would have followed the piece of advice if he had planned to mate. Which he did not, he barely wants to speak to the Alpha, much less beg for him to break his skin and mark him. 

Thank god my heat isn’t until two months, Baekhyun thinks as he looks through the satchel. It worries him now but that is something that will be dealt with later. 

He pushes aside a bottle of perfume, cream, lip tint that his dad had insisted on putting in there. Baekhyun has no interest in them, has no interest in dolling himself up. 

Confused, Baekhyun searches the satchel once more, concern rising within him. 

And then, a deep voice dripping in honey called out, “ Are you okay? ”

Baekhyun freezes. 

His breath is caught in his throat, keeping the unexpected herd of butterflies from escaping. His Alpha’s voice is deep, so, so deep and warm that Baekhyun has the urge to wash his soul in it. 

Baekhyun barely registers that he referred to the Alpha as his before he replies, “Y-Yes.”

He cringes when he stutters. Fuck!

He tries again. “Yes, I’m–I’m fine, just finishing up.” 

Baekhyun ignores the desperate thumbing of his stupid heart. 

“Take your time,” the Alpha replies, “There’s no need to rush, alright?”

“Alright,” Baekhyun calls out, still hesitant, still not over the Alpha’s deep voice, over the feeling it invokes within himself. 

As if he’s taken a drink from the sun, as if he’s on cloud nine, ten and eleven. 

With a new sense of urgency that Baekhyun doesn’t quite understand where it came from, he decides to flip the satchel upside down. He shakes the bag, watching as every item tumbles down to the ground, onto the fallen leaves. 

His sweater is not there. 

But that can’t be right, Baekhyun had made sure to pack it, it was the one thing he constantly checked to make sure it was prepared. He remembers rolling it up carefully into the satchel carefully this morning so why–

He locks his gaze on the bottle of perfume and the container of cream, the blue moon light reflecting on them, mocking him. 

It was his dad. It had to be, when he was putting in those last minute products he must have seen the sweater and taken it out. He could have been confused as to why Baekhyun was bringing a sweater in the beginning of summer or couldn’t fit everything in there but– but it was him. It had to have been. 

Baekhyun clenches his jaw, tightens it, angry at his dad for ruining his plan. For leaving him exposed to a stranger . It doesn’t matter that the Alpha is his mate and so far has been decent, he is still a stranger. 

Baekhyun drops the empty satchel to the ground, he doesn’t know what to do. The sweater was supposed to cover him up, cover up his neck and collar bones. 

It’s almost the standard for wolves participating in the Run to wear a garment that exposes their necks and chest, no matter if they’re an alpha, beta or omega. Any one of them will get a mating bite, the question is who will bite first. The idea is to give easy access, to tempt your mate, drive them crazy with your scent, with exposed skin begging to be marked. 

Baekhyun can’t count on the Alpha to restrain himself. 

He can feel the tension between them, can feel it pulsating in the air, burning Baekhyun with each breath that he takes. There’s this urge to be near the Alpha, to bury himself in the earthy scent that has seeped into his skin. 

God, he hasn't even looked at him, barely exchanged ten words and yet, he feels like how a star feels at the peak of its life— alive, exhilarated almost, burning brightly against the dark sky. 

At this moment, with his wolf surging desperately within him, the blue moonlight framing his face and the instinctual elation from finding his mate, Baekhyun knows he can’t trust in himself. 

He can’t trust in himself to be strong, to be able to resist the pull and so he needs that sweater, he needs to– to cover himself and to stop fucking breathing in that intoxicating scent, he feels like he’s spinning–

“I can smell your distress,” The Alpha calls out, his rich voice gentle and inflated with worry. “I swear I won’t hurt you. I won’t ever force you to do anything.”

Baekhyun’s heart picks up slightly, burning in the darkness.

“We don’t have to do anything,” the Alpha continues, “and I would like to properly meet you, love.” 

The endearment does something to Baekhyun, he feels warm and soft and the Alpha’s words sound so so sweet, he wants to believe them. He desperately wants to believe them but Baekhyun is too cautious for that. 

Still, he can’t deny the pirouette his heart had done. 

Taking a deep breath, Baekhyun steps out from behind the tree. He steps into the small clearing, into the moon light at the same time his Alpha does. 

Baekhyun is immediately struck by the Alpha's presence. He looks alpha, he holds himself as such but there's something gentle in the lines of his body, something caring and kind. 

He’s so handsome. So— so stunning, beautiful even. 

Baekhyun traces the Alpha’s face with his eyes, takes in the flawless, tanned skin, unblemished, looking soft to the touch and the Alpha’s jawline is sharp, strong and firm, like his nose, and his lips are plush, sculpted into a soft curve.

Baekhyun meets the Alpha’s eyes for a moment. Deep brown, like his hair that’s messily pushed back, charming and warm. They invite Baekhyun in, reassuring in their deepness, in the clear fondness and adoration deeply sated.

Baekhyun rips his gaze away and tries to swallow down the intense feeling clawing at his stomach.  

Remembering what Mu Zhang had said about his mate's ears, Baekhyun glances to the side. The Alpha’s ears were protruding slightly, slightly pointed at the ends and they’re cute. Baekhyun would never say it out loud but they’re really adorable. 

He can feel the Alpha’s gaze on him, studying Baekhyun as well but it doesn’t feel uncomfortable or too intense or laced with lust. It feels… nice being admired. 

Even though Baekhyun had noticed since the moment he laid eyes on the Alpha, he finally gathers the strength to glance at the Alpha’s exposed chest. It’s supposed to be quick and stubble but Baekhyun can’t stop staring. 

The Alpha is built strongly, shoulders broad, his chest is powerful, tan and there’s so much of it exposed, the v-neck of his unbuttoned blazer was deep. There’s so much skin, smooth and taunt across his muscles, golden underneath the blue moon light, the valleys and grooves and;

there’s a surge of something within Baekhyun, an intense feeling and Baekhyun finds himself wanting to close the gaps between their bodies, wants to touch the Alpha, wants to be touched, he wants to press his lips above his mates heart. Wants to feel it beat for him.

It’s alarming, feeling this way. 

It’s just my wolf, Baekhyun thinks as he looks away, taking interest in the trees next to his mate. No, I need to stop referring to him as that. 

Baekhyun opens his mouth to speak, to say something, anything, that will break the strain in the air around them. He says what comes first to his mind.

“Why didn’t you respond back? When I howled?” Baekhyun is surprised at how hurt he sounds. 

“Because I wanted to get to you as soon as possible,” The Alpha responds. There’s a longing in his eyes, in the way his chest is rising with every breath he takes. 

Baekhyun didn’t expect that response, startled by the soft pulsating of his heart, by the ache in his chest that’s been present this entire time. 

“I’m Chanyeol,” He tells Baekhyun in his deep voice that easily breaks apart Baekhyun’s spine.

“I’m–” Baekhyun swallows the sudden desperation surging within him, “I’m Baekhyun.”

Chanyeol smiles. 

He grins and it’s so devastating underneath the moonlight, there are dimples flashing, the gentle deepness of them full of unwarranted adoration and despite being in the dark, Baekhyun feels as if he’s taken a sip of the sun, it’s warmth soothing as it travels through him.  

What is this feeling? Why— why is he so moved by a mere smile, by a man whom he’s just met? 

Baekhyun’s heart feels like it’s about to collapse from this soft explosion inside of himself and— and he’s scared. He’s terrified.

He wants more. He wants to see more smiles, wants to be the cause of them. 

“Hello Baekhyun,” Chanyeol breathes out and the manner in which he says Baekhyun’s name— soft, his deep voice caressing it— makes Baekhyun feel like he ate a bunch of clouds. 

And then Chanyeol takes a step forward, his broad shoulders paired with his height casts a shadow on Baekhyun. Chanyeol holds Baekhyun’s eyes for a moment that is filled with a warm kind of desperation.

“May I touch you?”

“Touch me how?” Baekhyun asks, weary despite the feeling of star light being pressed against his heart. 

“Sorry— I didn’t mean to come off as aggressive or suggestive,” Chanyeol retracks, seemingly frantic to make his good willed intentions known. “I was wondering if I could hold you maybe? My wolf is going crazy.”

At the mention of Chanyeol’s wolf, Baekhyun is snapped back into reality. 

This desperation to be near Chanyeol is still there, it’s still present but Baekhyun now remembers that this isn’t him. These aren’t his feelings, they’re his wolf’s feelings. 

And the way Chanyeol is looking at him right now, like he’s precious, like he’s willing to do anything, to be anything for Baekhyun— it isn’t him. Chanyeol doesn’t feel this way about Baekhyun, it’s his wolf that’s doing all of these feelings. 

Baekhyun tries not to think about why he feels hurt. Disappointed almost. 

“I’m sorry but— but no you may not hold me.” The words feel wrong as they fall out of his lips and Baekhyun’s wolf whimpers. 

Baekhyun feels like bending down and picking up the words from off the ground, shoving them back into his mouth but he won’t because he’s strong. He won’t allow himself to be moved by whatever instinctual shit is happening. He won’t feel himself giving into his instincts. 

Chanyeol doesn’t say why? like how Baekhyun expected. 

Instead Chanyeol asks, “Are you alright? Did you hurt yourself while running?”

Baekhyun’s breath catches at the genuine concern in Chanyeol’s voice, the worry dancing on his cheek bones. He struggles as he speaks, “No, I’m not hurt, I just don’t want—”

He doesn’t understand why he’s struggling so much to reject Chanyeol. 

Chanyeol is looking at Baekhyun confused. “Do you— you feel it right? We’re mates.” His deep voice catches on the word mates and excitement fills his heavy scent. 

Baekhyun nods, clenching his hands. “Yes, I can feel it but,” He takes a deep breath and decides to just say it. “I don’t want a mate, Chanyeol.” 

There's something satisfying about saying Chanyeol’s name, something about the way his lips form effortlessly around the vowels. 

Baekhyun waits with bated breath. 

Chanyeol tilts his head slightly, confused. “You don’t believe in destined mates?”

Baekhyun resists the bitter laugh trying to crawl out of his lips. “I know they exist. My parents are destined mates.” If they weren’t, then maybe his dad would have the courage to leave. 

Baekhyun tries to swallow down the lump in his throat, “Look, I’m just going to say it— I don’t want to be with you. I don’t want to have a mate, alright? So let’s just forget this happened.”

Poor Chanyeol looks perplexed as he tries to process Baekhyun’s words. The moment he takes in the meaning of Baekhyun’s words is evident in the way that his scent, his face shows how hurt he is. Not angry just— just hurt. 

Seeing that hurt makes Baekhyun feel strange. 

As if there’s a void opening up within him, shoving dead space down his throat, into his chest, filling Baekhyun up with regret and it’s startling how affected he’s become. How strong the urge is to try to take back his words. 

“Can you give me a chance? Please?” Chanyeol asks, almost begging and for some reason there’s a painful throb within Baekhyun. “Can you let me take care of you?”

Baekhyun stays still. He didn’t account for this, he should have but he didn’t and now he doesn’t know how to respond. 

Chanyeol continues, tentatively. “Do you mind telling me why you’re rejecting me? I’m afraid I don’t understand—”

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun tells him and there’s truth in his words. 

Baekhyun takes a step back, turns around and starts walking away, not paying attention to which direction he’s going in. He just wants to get away. 

It’s a struggle with the almost physical pull he feels towards Chanyeol but Baekhyun tightens his jaw and keeps walking. The sound of leaves crunching underneath his shoes is deafening but the ringing of his heart is louder. His steps feel heavy, almost dragging and there’s reluctance within every fiber of his being. 

Baekhyun doesn’t know if Chanyeol is following him, doesn't look back. He’s entirely concentrated on moving his feat, left, right, left, right, left—

Suddenly, it becomes easier, his steps become lighter. 

There’s a soft crunch behind him and Baekhyun stops walking. 

He spins around, the words, “Stop following me,” spilling out of his lips.

Baekhyun tries to look firm and absolute but it’s so difficult. 

Chanyeol is only a few steps away but it feels like an entire ocean between them. Baekhyun has the urge to swallow the ocean, to push aside the space in between them.

Chanyeol is looking down at him with worry, concern and Baekhyun realizes their height difference. 

He pretends he doesn’t like it. 

“I need to make sure you’re safe,” Chanyeol tells him, his eyebrows scrunched together. “And not only that but I want to know why. I’m not angry, just really confused—”

“Look, I already told you— I don’t want a mate, I have no interest in you and I just want you to leave me alone!” Baekhyun snaps before spinning around and walking away once again, his steps quick. 

But Chanyeol has the advantage of his height and soon he is walking next to Baekhyun within seconds. 

"Baekhyun, I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you!" Chanyeol pleads, trying to meet Baekhyun’s eyes. 

“And I’m trying to avoid it, take a hint. ” Baekhyun snaps. Maybe if he’s mean then Chanyeol will leave him alone. 

Chanyeol stays silent for a moment, keeping up with each one of Baekhyun’s strides.

Baekhyun wonders if he should intentionally walk towards people but it wouldn’t work. Most likely, those in the woods have found their mates, it would be rude to intrude. Baekhyun couldn’t even smell them properly, his nose, his entire being is full of Chanyeol’s scent. 

“Did something happen?” Chanyeol says in a heavy voice. 

“What?” Baekhyun’s steps almost falter.

“Did someone hurt you? Or tried to force you to mate with them?” 

The sudden anger in Chanyeol’s voice, the way his eyes flash underneath the moonlight, the tightness in his jawline causes Baekhyun to inhale sharply. He stops walking and faces Chanyeol.

“No one forced me to do anything,” Baekhyun says. 

“You can tell me anything, love,” Chanyeol responds, holding Baekhyun’s eyes with his own. “You can trust me.”

Baekhyun’s breath hitches. “Why are you calling me ‘love’?”

“I can stop if you want,” Chanyeol gently says, open, eager to please Baekhyun. 

Baekhyun bites the inside of his cheek, thinking. His wolf likes the endearment, likes the implication behind it. But it doesn’t matter what endearment Chanyeol uses because Baekhyun isn’t going to stick around to hear them. 

“You want to know why I don’t want to mate with you?” Baekhyun says, “It’s because you’re a stranger. Because I don’t know you and you don’t know me and yet we’re expected to mate tonight! And— And I’m supposed to be happy and okay with being a stranger for the rest of my life but I’m not.” 

Baekhyun feels frustration and anger rise within him. He knows those feelings are unfair towards Chanyeol but his lips won’t stop moving, “I don’t want to be your omega, I don’t belong to anyone! And if you try to force me I swear I’ll fucking hurt you,” 

“I won’t force you,” Chanyeol says but it’s not in a defensive manner. Instead his voice, his face, his entire aura takes on a gentle, reassuring feeling. “And I understand your points but—” He bites down on his bottom lip, Baekhyun’s eyes easily catching the action. “But can you give me a chance at least?”

“Why should I?” Baekhyun asks, despite the fact that he’s nearly convinced that he should indeed give this a chance. Give Chanyeol a chance. 

“Because what if it works?” 

“What if it doesn’t?” Baekhyun asks him. 

“At least we tried,” Chanyeol utters. 

He looks like he wants to reach out and touch Baekhyun, maybe press some of the tenderness in his eyes into Baekhyun’s skin. He seems to settle for moving a little bit closer, his scent filling up Baekhyun. 

Baekhyun’s breath dies in his throat when Chanyeol stops just a galaxy away and he slowly, carefully lifts his hand towards Baekhyun. Baekhyun has enough time to move away but he finds himself not wanting to, finds himself anticipating what will happen next. 

He wants to know how it will feel to have Chanyeol touch him. 

Chanyeol carefully cups Baekhyun’s face, his large hand molding gently, affectionately.  

Chanyeol’s long fingers almost reach into Baekhyun’s hair and his thumb settles on Baekhyun’s bottom lip, gentle, pressing down tenderness that seeps into Baekhyun, making him feel like millions of stars have exploded within him, an extraordinary sensation and—

And Baekhyun wants more. 

He wants Chanyeol to hold him, wants to breathe in the strength that moves within him, wants to spend as much time as he can cradled within Chanyeol’s embrace. He wants to spend the rest of his life struggling to remember how to breathe. 

Chanyeol’s dark, warm gaze flickers down to Baekhyun’s bottom lip. When he meets Baekhyun’s eyes again, he softly says, “I wouldn’t mind falling in love with you.”

And for a moment, during the time it takes for the moon to breathe, Baekhyun knows he wouldn’t mind falling in love with Chanyeol either. 

But he isn’t going to let his guard down so easily. 

“What are you suggesting then?” Baekhyun asks, fighting off the warmth creeping up his spine, threatening to paint red on his cheeks. 

“Let me court you,” Chanyeol tells him, still cradling Baekhyun’s face gently, his thumb still on Baekhyun’s bottom lip, still pressing something that feels like adoration and a handful of flower petals twirling in his lungs. 

“You want to court me?” Baekhyun has heard of the term but it’s a practice that isn’t done in his pack. He’s heard it’s becoming common among city wolves. 

“Yes,” Chanyeol says, eyes flickering with hope. “I’ll come by every day, I’ll bring gifts and spend time with you. I want to get to know you and hopefully you can learn about me too.” 

“I… I would like that,” Baekhyun’s heart is pounding so hard he swears his ribs are about to crack, along with his bones until he becomes nothing but a broken skeleton with a convulsing heart. 

Things have changed so quickly but Baekhyun doesn’t feel forced or lost or like he’s doing it to please his mate. Yes, his instincts and wolf is playing a role in how willing he is to be courted, to be near Chanyeol but Baekhyun can’t deny that under different circumstances, he wouldn’t have been opposed to being pursued, wouldn’t have minded being sought after by this man. 

And then Baekhyun remembers the ultimatum his mother had offered him.

“Wait, I don’t think that would work,” He tells Chanyeol. Chanyeol’s expression falls, crumbles and Baekhyun hurries to add: “I want to be courted by you but—” He doesn’t know why he hesitates but he does. 

“What is it?” Chanyeol asks. And then his expression changes slightly. “It’s alright if you really don’t want me to court you, love.”

“I do!” Baekhyun insists, his voice rising slightly. “It’s just– well my mother, the alpha of my family, said that if I didn’t mate tonight then I’ll be forced to leave home.” 

It’s odd saying it outloud, telling a stranger this but it feels okay at the same time. Relieving almost, sharing his problems with someone without feeling as if he’s complaining or a burden. Still, Baekhyun isn’t ready to tell Chanyeol everything, at least not right now. 

 Chanyeol looks like he has thousands of questions but all he says is, “You can move in with me if you’d like. There’s a room empty, ready for you to move in easily.” 

Baekhyun isn’t surprised that Chanyeol had offered nor is he surprised that Chanyeol had an empty room. Traditionally after the Blue Moon ceremony, after mating, an omega is supposed to live with their mate. Baekhyun realizes that Chanyeol had mentioned a room , not his bed room and once again, he is touched by how respectful and considerate Chanyeol is. 

It makes him want to be courted even more. 

And while Baekhyun could warm up to the idea of living with Chanyeol, his eyebrows scrunch together, worry pulling them close. 

“I can’t,” Baekhyun tells Chanyeol. “I don’t want to leave my dad alone. With my mother.” And because he feels that he should explain a little bit more, Baekhyun continues, his emotions screaming, simmering underneath his skin. “She’s— she’s manipulative, selfish and she abuses my dad, she’s just a horrible person. ”

“Does she abuse you?” Chanyeol asks, his hand on Baekhyun’s tightens slightly, warm and protective. There’s a fire against his brown eyes, clear in his desire to protect Baekhyun at any cost. 

Baekhyun shakes his head and Chanyeol’s hand falls from his face. He wants to ask Chanyeol to touch him again but he’s too prideful. Instead he says, “No, I stand up to her but my dad… he can’t. She’s his destined mate, it basically goes against his nature and if I’m not there to help him…”

“I understand,” Chanyeol says, looking as if he wants to remove all of Baekhyun’s doubts and fears, wants to help carry their burden. “I’ll move here then. I’ll build a home for us.”

“You’ll do that? You’ll move here for me?” Baekhyun asks and he doesn’t understand when exactly he swallowed thousands of butterflies. 

“Of course,” Chanyeol says, “there’s very little I wouldn’t do for you.” 

And despite the sincerity of behind Chanyeol’s deep voice, written in his eyes, Baekhyun can’t help but think that’s a very stupid promise to make to a stranger. 

He tells Chanyeol exactly that.

And the alpha responds with, “You’re my mate, Baekhyun and I’ll never hesitate to help or care for you.” 

And Baekhyun doesn’t know much about falling in love but he thinks he experienced it for a moment or two. 

He has no idea how he allowed himself to be so unguarded but it happened and despite the terrifying vulnerability of it—

Baekhyun knows he wants to feel it again.

After going back for their satchels, Chanyeol walks Baekhyun back to his hut.

The air is full of rustling, scents from other wolves, some filled with sadness, most filled with want and desire. The moon is framing Chanyeol’s face nicely and Baekhyun can feel tension in between them. 

There is the need to be close to Chanyeol, close enough that Baekhyun can feel the back of his hands brushing against Chanyeol’s big ones and every time a butterfly in his stomach gets brave and tries to cause a tornado in between his ribs. 

Baekhyun finds himself sneaking glances at Chanyeol, taking in the Alpha’s broad shoulders, his exposed chest the shade of deep honey, the muscles that move with every movement of his body. 

And Baekhyun can’t help but flick his gaze up to Chanyeol’s exposed neck, the need to give Chanyeol a mating mate arises. He tries to shatter that want but it’s broken pieces stick to his heart, slightly painful. 

Baekhyun swallows as he traces the line of Chanyeol’s jaw with his eyes, the slope of his nose, the angle of his cute ears, the curved corners of his lovely eyes. Chanyeol is an alpha, it’s evident in his body built, in his scent, in his presence but he’s beautiful. 

Baekhyun never thought an alpha could be beautiful. 

Chanyeol’s eyes meet his. 

Baekhyun feels rose petals dancing on his cheeks and the choreography becomes intense when Chanyeol gives Baekhyun a smile. Hands it to Baekhyun, dimples and all and Baekhyun wants to tuck it into his pocket so he can look at it from time to time. 

Still, he’s embarrassed at getting caught so he ducks his head down, red running across his cheeks. He thinks he hears Chanyeol chuckle lightly. 

“You look stunning by the way,” Chanyeol tells him. Baekhyun glances back up and he’s met with a soft, shy smile. “You’re so pretty.”

And Baekhyun, because he doesn’t know how to take a compliment, has never been given one without any suggestive intent behind it, blurts out, “Compliments aren’t going to get you anywhere.”

Chanyeol’s smile grows. “I’m not trying to go anywhere, love.” 

Baekhyun wrinkles his nose, tries to be indifferent. “Are you normally this cringey?” 

Chanyeol’s smile becomes laughter, laced with nervousness but it’s good natured. It’s loud, deep and warm, just like the man himself. “I don’t know how to respond to that without making you cringe even more.”

Baekhyun finds himself smiling, finds a zoo running around in his stomach. “Well now I want to know what you were going to say!” 

“God, this is so embarrassing,” Chanyeol mutters, ducking his head down slightly, and Baekhyun wants to touch those adorable dimples. 

“Tell me,” Baekhyun coaxes, licking his lips into a teasing smile. 

Chanyeol avoids Baekhyun’s eyes and Baekhyun thinks he sees pink on Chanyeol’s ears. “I was going to say that I’m only cringey around you.”

Baekhyun’s grin grows, “Yeah that only made it worse,” he laughs lightly, the sound melting around his nervously beating heart. 

Baekhyun wants to tell Chanyeol that he looks beautiful as well, wants to tell Chanyeol about this delightful feeling that has managed to wedge itself in between each breath his heart takes, in between each molecule in his body. And as Baekhyun takes in Chanyeol’s embarrassed smile, the feeling becomes worse. 

But Baekhyun is a coward, he’s stubborn but most importantly, he doesn’t want to get his hopes up. He doesn’t want to give out his heart so prematurely, despite this wonderful feeling he gets around Chanyeol.

As if he’s home, as if he’s safe and can be whoever and whatever he wishes to be. 

And Baekhyun struggles to remind himself that it’s just because of his instincts and the Blue Moon

When they reach the village, the Blue Moon still shining brightly, they are met with celebrations. 

The entire place is lit up with torches and even lights, generated by the pack’s electric generator. There is music playing, a live band of traditional instruments and there are tables full of food and drinks. Everyone is laughing, talking amicably, having a good time. 

Baekhyun scans the crowd, recognizing some familiar and unfamiliar faces but all the scents that have mixed together show that everyone is mated. 

Baekhyun expected this already, he knows the gathering isn’t for those who have found their mates. It’s meant to give couples a chance to mate without being overheard by everyone. Those who are from the city would have headed over there by now. 

Baekhyun glances up at Chanyeol, takes in his awed expression. He realizes that this has to be Chanyeol’s first Blue Moon Ceremony. 

He stands on his tiptoes and asks, “Is this your first Blue Moon, Chanyeol?”

Chanyeol looks down at him with a lighten expression. “Yeah! Is this yours?”

Baekhyun is puzzled by the question.

“No,” He says carefully and there is a rush of insecurity when Chanyeol looks surprised. “I’m twenty four, can’t you tell?”   

The background noise of the music did nothing to lessen Baekhyun’s anxiety as he waits for Chanyeol’s response, for anything. Will his age change Chanyeol’s mind? Will Baekhyun be abandoned after all?

He starts to think of something else to say, of something that will save his pride and cut off things with Chanyeol. He’d rather be the one to cut things off than be cut off himself. At least that way he can walk away with his head high. 

And then Chanyeol says: “I couldn’t tell.” 

Baekhyun meets his eyes, scared, biting the inside of his cheek.

Chanyeol continues. “And even if I could, age doesn’t matter to me. What matters is that I’ve found my mate.”

“I haven't said yes,” Baekhyun tells him, trying to brush away the thousands of rose petals that have invaded his cheek bones. 

“Yet,” Chanyeol grins a crooked smile so devastatingly sweet and boyish that Baekhyun swears he hears the stars gasp. 

“I’m twenty-two by the way,” He informs Baekhyun, looking away. “So, you’ve done this before right? What’s the next step?”

Baekhyun shrugs, eyes following the movements of everything. “Every time I've come back mateless I just locked myself in my room.” He says it casually but the memories still manage to pierce him. 

Chanyeol looks back down at Baekhyun, bridging the gap between them when his eyes meet Baekhyun’s, “How many times have you done this?”

“This is my third Blue Moon,” Baekhyun tells him.

He’s uncomfortable for some reason, a little ashamed even. He knows— he knows he shouldn’t feel like this but he can’t help it. His mother, the pack, always made sure Baekhyun felt this way after every ceremony up to now. 

“I’m sorry I made you wait.” Chanyeol says softly, as if it was truly his fault, as if he could have done something, could have controlled his age.

There’s something about the sincerity of it, the wholehearted shade Chanyeol’s eyes have adopted that causes Baekhyun’s heart to grow heavy. 

It feels as if it’s taken over gravity’s job of holding him down, dense with this rush of electricity, with Chanyeol, with the alpha’s words and smiles and the manner in which he seems to want so desperately to make Baekhyun feel cherished. 

And if Baekhyun had the guts, he would have responded with You’re here now but that’s too much, too— too heavy and important for Baekhyun to just say. It suggests commitment, suggests having fallen in love when that is the farthest from the truth. 

Right? Baekhyun thinks, looking into Chanyeol’s pretty almond shaped eyes. I haven’t fallen for Chanyeol, I know I haven’t, I’m not that naive… it’s just the Moon and my wolf...

Chanyeol must have noticed Baekhyun’s internal dilemma. 

He smiles that smile that makes the butterflies in Baekhyun’s lungs go crazy and he says, “Let’s grab something to eat.”

Baekhyun doesn’t realize how hungry he is until he takes a bite into a slice of pepperoni pizza. 

“Is it good?” Chanyeol asks, after swallowing. 

Baekhyun nods enthusiastically. He usually doesn’t have pizza, as his mother often demands his dad to make home cooked meals everyday. At the thought of his mother, Baekhyun’s mood dims slightly. 

Perhaps Chanyeol had smelled it in his scent because he asks, “What’s wrong?” almost immediately. 

Baekhyun shakes his head, gripping onto the pizza a little tighter. “It’s nothing. Just… thinking about my dad.” He offers Chanyeol a closed lip smile.  

“Oh, are they here?” Chanyeol asks, looking around the crowd. 

“No he’s probably at home,” Baekhyun tells him. “Either waiting for me or my mom, though I think it’s evident by now that I’ve met you.” 

“Should we go by then?” Chanyeol offers, gentle excitement in his eyes. “I would love to meet him.”

“Don’t you think that’s too soon?” Baekhyun asks him, taking a bite out of his pizza. He chews slowly, trying to ignore an odd sensation in his chest. 

“It’s not as extreme as mating,” Chanyeol jokes. And then his demeanor becomes warm, his muscular chest rising, “You don’t have to introduce me if you don’t want to. We can just stay here and have fun.”

Baekhyun thinks about it for a moment. 

He’ll have to introduce Chanyeol eventually. It’s not that he’s embarrassed of Chanyeol, Chanyeol is definitely an ideal alpha, an ideal mate but introducing him to his dad gives the impression of something final. As if he’s already agreed to be mated. 

Still, Baekhyun would much rather do it when it’s just his father. If his mother was there, she could make things complicated with her attitude, her scent. It wouldn’t surprise Baekhyun if she felt threatened by Chanyeol. 

“I’ll take you to meet him. I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you.” Baekhyun offers Chanyeol a smile and Chanyeol offers Baekhyun one of his own. Bright, happy, full of starlight and clouds and promises. 

“I’m excited,” Chanyeol says. He looks down at Baekhyun’s empty, sauce stained hand. “Here, have another slice, love.”

Baekhyun notices that Chanyeol gives him the biggest slice available. His wolf purrs, elated that their mate is providing them with the best possible choice. 

Baekhyun smiles contently as he takes a bite, missing the way Chanyeol’s chest seems to puff out with pride. 

Baekhyun walks through the crowd with a bated breath and it certainly doesn’t help that Chanyeol towers over many. 

Thankfully Baekhyun is able to lead Chanyeol to his home without being stopped by anyone. He knew he would be subjected to being asked about who Chanyeol is, why he’s still here, why their necks are still bare. 

He wouldn’t know how to answer the first question, much less the rest and so he’s glad for the lack of confrontation. Of course, the amount of alcohol being consumed helped a lot. 

Baekhyun can feel Chanyeol behind him, keeping a respectable distance but still close enough to feel his warmth, breathe in his scent. Baekhyun made a home for Chanyeol’s scent in his heart, he’s quickly grown accustomed to the earthy and strong scent. 

The thought of holding Chanyeol’s hand briefly crosses his mind, like a shooting star, leaving behind a trail of want. 

Baekhyun isn’t brave enough but he gathers enough courage to say, “You can walk next to me you know.” 

He looks over his shoulder, taking in Chanyeol’s eager eyes against the blue moonlight. 

Chanyeol quickens his pace, almost rivaling Baekhyun’s heartbeat and he matches Baekhyun’s strides. It’s obvious Baekhyun’s strides are significantly shorter than his but Chanyeol looks content, fulfilled almost as he looks down at Baekhyun, a small smile the size of Jupiter twitching at the corner of his lips. 

“Can I hold your hand?” Chanyeol asks, voice low and hopeful. 

Baekhyun’s steps falter a little as the butterflies in his chest crack another rib, as if he hadn’t been thinking about a moment ago. He should say no, he should remain firm and not allow himself to be easily swayed by the moment. 

“Okay,” Baekhyun smiles softly, heart pulsating, lungs being torn apart. 

Chanyeol smiles radiantly, giving more light to the world than the stars and the sun have ever provided. It’s overwhelming, feeling soft explosions everytime Chanyeol breathes. 

His hand is big around Baekhyun’s, warm, skin lightly rough indicating hard labor of some sort, and Baekhyun finds himself fighting off the bubbles rising in his chest.

Chanyeol laces their fingers together, intertwines them in the same matter the night sky intertwines stars into its darkness, presses their palms together in the same way the moon and the sun press against each other during an eclipse. Only Baekhyun wants this to last longer than an eclipse.

It feels both odd and natural. 

Baekhyun finds himself tightening his clasp, fighting to hold onto this feeling of absolute warmth and reassurance. It’s been a long time since he’s held another person’s hand, since he’s felt something other than the cold clasp of desolation.

Chanyeol looks away and Baekhyun almost misses his shy smile, his dimples and the fondness in his eyes. 

Baekhyun promises to himself to never forget this. Even when the world has been forgotten, he will never forget this. 

There’s a change in Chanyeol’s demeanor as they approach Baekhyun’s hut. 

His hand holds tightly onto Baekhyun’s, his strides slow down a bit, reluctant almost, until they come to a complete stop.  

“Are you okay?” Baekhyun asks, taking in the tightness around Chanyeol’s mouth and the corners of his eyes. 

Chanyeol inhales and it looks like it was a difficult action. 

“The alpha scent around your home is very strong,” Chanyeol replies with a strain in his voice. 

“Oh,” Baekhyun says, not knowing what to say, embarrassment stirring in the pit of his stomach. “I didn’t realize, I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Chanyeol tells him. The strong line of his jaw is tight. “I just need to get used to it,”

Baekhyun stood there, watching as Chanyeol breathed in shallowly, biting the inside of his cheek. How dare his mother do this, what is wrong with her? Why is she so aggressive, so insistent? 

Baekhyun found himself grinding his teeth together, rage clawing at his stomach. His mind flickers to his dad, to how isolated he must feel. And then Baekhyun wonders why he hadn’t noticed before. 

Surely he would have noticed if such a heavy alpha scent had been around him. Or was he just used to it? To being dominated, to being subjected under this a possessive grip his whole life that it’s started to become normal for him? 

“Hey,” Chanyeol says gently. Baekhyun snaps his eyes back up, a little startled by the troubled line that Chanyeol’s mouth has been tucked into. “Your scent changed, what’s wrong, love?”

Baekhyun searches Chanyeol’s eyes, his face, wondering if Chanyeol actually wants to know what’s wrong or if he’s just being polite. Just putting on a show. 

No, Baekhyun thinks. That’s not fair to him. 

“Sorry I just—” Baekhyun takes in a tight breath, “I never realized how controlling my mother is and I can’t believe I haven’t said anything—” There’s an awkwardness to his words, to the way he tries to deliver them. 

“You don’t need to apologize,” Chanyeol tells Baekhyun, softly, reassuring. “Things will get better now, I promise.”

Baekhyun tightens his clasp on Chanyeol’s hand, allowing himself a moment to relish in the feeling of protectiveness that has settled on top of his skin. 

In these handful of hours, Chanyeol has proven to be different than what Baekhyun had thought and he’s slowly coming to the conclusion that Chanyeol is not his mother. That he isn’t an 

overbearing alpha, doesn’t have an inflated sense of self-importance. 

It’s getting harder and harder to withstand the desire to mate with Chanyeol. 

It isn’t love, Baekhyun knows what he feels isn’t love but– it could be, right?

Byun Hyunwoo stares at Chanyeol for a beat too long. 

His face holds nothing back, his surprise clearly displayed in his eyes, in his ‘o’ shaped mouth. His gaze lingers on Chanyeol, seemingly taking in everything, his face, his ears, his chest, his height. Baekhyun is about the same height as his dad and the height difference is almost startling but he can’t say he dislikes it. 

After a moon’s breath or two, Chanyeol grins down at Byun Hyunwoo. 

Baekhyun can see the exact moment his dad sees Chanyeol’s dimples, the moment his dad falls for Chanyeol’s boyish charm. 

“So,” Hyunwoo says, “you’re Baekhyunnie’s mate?”

Chanyeol glances at Baekhyun subtly, asking for advice on what to say. Baekhyun’s heart freezes momentarily, melted by Chanyeol’s smooth voice in the next moment. 

Maybe there had been something in Baekhyun’s expression, maybe the butterflies in his stomach were too loud or the rose petals twirling on his cheeks were too vibrant because Byun Hyunwoo’s lips stretched into an almost exaggerated smile, filled to the brim with relief. 

“So you are!” He exclaims as he moves to hug Chanyeol.

Baekhyun watches as Chanyeol hugs back, can smell the relief he’s feeling, most likely from being easily accepted. Baekhyun decides to not correct his father. 

He’s not wrong , Chanyeol is his intended mate, it’s so obvious from the literal ache Baekhyun feels from every movement, every breath Chanyeol takes. Even without a mating bite, it would be obvious to anyone. 

Still, Baekhyun’s hesitant, unsure. 

He wants Chanyeol to court him, he wants to see Chanyeol when the Blue Moon isn’t framing his face with it’s light, when Baekhyun’s heart isn’t pounding from what he assumes is adrenaline. He wants to be able to make the decision without feeling his wolf’s frustration of being unclaimed. 

Chanyeol pulls back with a grin and he says, “It’s so great to meet you! I’m Park Chanyeol.”

Baekhyun’s dad tilts his head. “You’re from the city I’m assuming?”

Chanyeol nods enthusiastically. Baekhyun finds it adorable. “Yes, I live on the east side, about a few minutes from downtown.”

“So you live deep in the city,” Baekhyun’s dad concludes. He glances at Baekhyun and Baekhyun doesn’t know what to make of it. “I’m assuming you live in an apartment? Do you have any plans for a more open home later on? Especially once the pups arrive.” 

Baekhyun stiffens and he realizes that he’s still holding Chanyeol’s hand. There’s an urge to let go, to put some distance between him. 

Chanyeol chuckles, a mixture of painful nervousness and awkwardness. He squeezes Baekhyun’s hand gently and Baekhyun takes it as a signal to take over the conversation. 

He can sense Chanyeol’s hesitance but there’s also a swell of something, excitement almost. Eagerness mixing in with Chanyeol’s heavy, warm scent. 

Chanyeol wants pups. 

Baekhyun doesn’t quite know how to feel about that. It isn’t exactly surprising but there’s still a shock to the realization, holding him down to the ground.  

Deciding to postpone his mental collapse, Baekhyun says, “This isn’t really the time to talk about this kind of thing.”

His dad looks confused and then there’s a spark of understanding. 

“Oh you’re moving out now?” His dad says and he turns to Baekhyun. “See, I told you to pack your things! I was right wasn’t I? Well come on in!” He moves to the side, looking at Chanyeol expectantly. 

“No I’m not–” Baekhyun sighs. “Dad, I’m not moving out and as of now–” He holds Hyunwoo’s eyes. “I have no plans of being mated.”

His dad flickers his eyes to Chanyeol. “Did you know about this?”

It irritates Baekhyun, as if his opinion no longer matters now that he’s found his intended. Now that he has an alpha to speak for him. 

Chanyeol nods, “Yes and I respect Baekhyun’s wants. If I’m being perfectly honest,” Chanyeol meets Baekhyun’s eyes for a moment before flickering them back to Hyunwoo’s, “I am looking forward to courting Baekhyun. I think it would be nice to take things slow.”

“But why ?” The older omega shifts his gaze from Baekhyun to Chanyeol. “You both have a lifetime to get to know each other and it’s not like Baekhyun will choose not to ma–”

“We have already decided,” Baekhyun interrupts, trying to bite down the annoyance and anger crawling on the roof of his mouth. He doesn’t know why but his dad is really starting to vex him. “For now, Chanyeol wishes to settle here, in the pack.”

Baekhyun sees Chanyeol nod from the corner of his eyes. He finds himself still locking eyes with his dad, challenging him almost. 

And then Hyunwoo says in an almost scared voice, “But what about your mother, Baekkie? She made it clear that she doesn’t–”

He turns to Chanyeol. “Please tell me Baekhyun will move in with you.” 

“I don’t plan on it,” Baekhyun answers, his tone slightly sharp but he hates that his dad isn’t addressing him with questions that concern himself. 

His dad looks at him, distraught. “Let’s talk about this some more, come in, sit down and try to be reasonable about this–”

Chanyeol clears his throat slightly. “I will have to decline that offer, unfortunately.” He looks into the home for a moment before looking down at Baekhyun’s dad, “Your mate, she has a very… predominant scent and it’s making me a bit restless, especially with the Blue Moon out.”

Chanyeol speaks softly and gently, far from sounding condescending but Baekhyun still feels awkward and self-conscious. Ashamed almost. 

“Oh,” Hyunwoo says and there’s a shift in the air. Suffocating, almost. 

His face breaks into the smile that Baekhyun has come to recognize as the one used when his dad feels flustered. “It’s perfectly alright! Still, I believe a further discussion should be in order. The two of you are young, you should be completing the mating ceremony right now…” 

“Dad, please drop it,” Baekhyun pleads.

Baekhyun locks eyes with his dad and he can feel his dad’s worry. The restlessness so clearly drawn on his face, the fear curved against the corners of his eyes. 

Chanyeol apparently feels it too because he turns to Baekhyun and asks, “Maybe… maybe it’s best for you to come with me after all?”

“What? ” Baekhyun exclaims, feeling hurt. He thought they were supposed to be in this together, he thought they had an understanding.

He thought Chanyeol was different.

“Hear me out, please,” Chanyeol begs and he’s holding both of Baekhyun’s hands, cradling them to his chest and it’s unfair . The onslaught of emotions, the feeling of having the stars and the moons and something that could pass as sentiment pressed into his palms— it’s unfair. It truly is. 

“You said your mother will kick you out right?” Chanyeol’s eyes tighten and Baekhyun can sense shame coming from his dad. “Wouldn’t you want to avoid confrontation? Think about your safely, love.” 

Despite how fucked up this is, despite talking about how his own mother could hurt him, his heart jumps . Twirls, does a fucking pirouette and grand jeté at the endearment. 

He finds it almost disturbing how easy it is for him to say, “Okay.”

Chanyeol and his dad seem to collectively sigh in relief. It’s strange, being cared about. 

And then Baekhyun remembers that his dad needs someone to care about him as well. 

He turns to him, and urgently says, “Dad come with us, please. ”

“The two of you could stay in the same room,” Chanyeol informs them and Baekhyun is happy that Chanyeol is willing to help out. 

“I’ll stay here,” Hyunwoo tells them. “It would feel odd being without my mate.”

Baekhyun’s heart falls, tumbling down to the ground almost painfully. “But–But don’t you want to get away from all of this? From her? ”

His dad pulls his features together into a perplexed expression. “Why would I want that? She’s my mate, I’m meant to be with her.”

Later, after Chanyeol drove his car to the edge of the pack, where the dirt row leads to the bridge and helped Baekhyun put some of his personal belongings in the trunk, Baekhyun slides into the sleak, black car, thoughts clouded. 

Despite this being one of the handful of times he’s been in a car, Baekhyun keeps thinking about his dad. 

He had refused to come, refused to leave the hut with walls that could tell of the suffering and abuse that they have witnessed over the years.

How can he be so passive? How can he allow himself to be a coward, to be obedient and ready to accept anything without protest, ready to be controlled so easily?

And yet, it’s not that much of a mystery. 

Baekhyun’s dad is bound by the bite on his neck, bound to his instinctual desire to please his mate. 

The driver's door opens and Chanyeol slides in, shooting a worried look in Baekhyun’s direction. 

His scent fills the car, adding to the dense but mellow scent that clings to everything in the car, including Baekhyun’s skin. Despite this, Baekhyun doesn't have the tranquility that Chanyeol so desperately wants him to feel. 

How can he when he’s gotten a reality check, a shock of what could be his future.

He’s wholly convinced that Chanyeol would never raise a hand against him but he has to acknowledge the truth of it all. As an omega, Baekhyun is subjected to his alpha. It’s the way of life, the law of nature, of instincts. 

It’s upsetting, being reminded of this. 

Chanyeol starts the car, the engine almost silent and fresh, cool air hits Baekhyun.

He realizes that he’s still wearing the outfit designed for mating, designed to give Chanyeol easy access to his most vulnerable part of himself. He has the urge to cover himself, despite having been reassured by Chanyeol that he wouldn’t be taken advantage of. 

But after the encounter with his dad, Baekhyun finds himself on the edge, weary. 

And in this state, it’s effortless forgetting about the warm, honey dipped feelings that had been invoked from him tonight. It’s easy forgetting the moments where he had been willing to fall for Chanyeol. 

Chanyeol places his hand on the car console, another on the steering wheel and proceeds to drive. 

He’s careful in his turns, in the manner in which he controls his speed, and while Baekhyun is touched by it, touched by the display of concern and protectiveness, he’s still struggling to understand. Still struggling to unravel everything.

And then Chanyeol speaks up.

“I know it’s not my place to say anything but… you have to allow yourself to let go of your father, Baekhyun. I know you want to save him but…” Chanyeol trails off, obviously unsure on how to continue.

“He can’t leave, alright?” Baekhyun says harshly, staring at Chanyeol, taking in his side profile. “He’s bound to my mom, an omega bound to an alpha, it’s not that simple!”

“I understand but—”

“No, you don’t ” Baekhyun interrupts, a wave of self-righteous rising within him. “You’re an Alpha, you don’t feel the same way as us, you could never truly know. ”

Baekhyun knows it’s fucked up, this desire to hurt Chanyeol in an effort to feel better. He wants to hurt Chanyeol and it’s wrong, it’s unfounded but it’s there and the damage has been done.

He wonders if Chanyeol will lash out. Does he want Chanyeol to lash out?

As Baekhyun gazes at Chanyeol's side profile, watching as he concentrates on driving through the dark woods, Baekhyun realizes that he’s testing the waters. Wants to see if this is the moment in which Chanyeol reveals that it was all an act, his smiles, his kindness. 

Chanyeol sighs but he says nothing else. 

He does nothing else but reach out and hold Baekhyun's hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb, pressing down flower petals dipped in comfort and consolation. 

There’s guilt weighing within Baekhyun’s chest as he looks out the window, so heavy it threatens to break him.

When they cross the bridge, the sight of city lights fills the horizon, the same flashes that rival the firelights at night. 

As they get deeper into the city, the lights intensify, the buildings become more urban, more modern and it awes Baekhyun. Almost pushing the guilty feeling into the background but not quite. 

As Baekhyun looks out the car window, takes in the different lifestyles and cultures, he wants to ask Chanyeol about it. He wants to know more about Chanyeol, about his life, what he does, what are his dreams and desires.

He knows Chanyeol would be more than willing to answer all of these questions, evident in the way he’s still holding Baekhyun’s hands, holding it gently like how galaxies hold one another but—

But Baekhyun is prideful. Awkwardly struggling with himself to apologize, to hold himself accountable for his attitude of superiority. 

He knows Chanyeol didn’t deserve it, knows that it wasn’t fair to him, but Baekhyun starts to wonder if he even knows how to apologize. 

The blue moon light blends in with the neon hues of red, green and yellow as Baekhyun thinks back to his childhood. 

Thinks about those times where there were moments in which an apology would be necessary. And there were many moments, many opportunities where Baekhyun had been the one to apologize but those were forced, done out of fear. And there were moments where his dad apologized as well, nearly begged for forgiveness from his mate. 

Byun Bongcha never apologized. Never asked for forgiveness but always demanded it. God, she never even apologized for hitting her mate so hard that he lost his sense of smell and taste. 

Baekhyun bites his tongue, clenches his free hand into a fist. 

Anger is flooding his system, leeching the light out of every corner of Baekhyun’s being. 

And he swears then to not be like his mother. 

He’ll apologize to Chanyeol and he’ll mean it. His lack of experience in it is not an excuse and hopefully, Chanyeol will forgive him. 

Hopefully, Baekhyun can learn to grow, he wants to grow, and within that growth, he can learn to trust. 

Chanyeol drives up to a series of tall buildings, lit up by multiple lights, overwhelming in their modern design. 

He pulls into an open place, stopping at a yellow pole hanging horizontally. There’s a machine on Chanyeol’s side and the drivers window goes down. Baekhyun watches as Chanyeol types in a series of numbers. After a moment or two, the pole lifts and Chanyeol drives into a wide space, full of parked cars. 

There are rows and rows of cars and Baekhyun knows that they’re nice cars, of the same quality as the one he’s sitting in. Chanyeol drives them through the rows, a destination in mind and Baekhyun decides to break the silence. 

“Where are we?” 

“This is the parking garage for my apartment unit.” Chanyeol tells Baekhyun, looking straight ahead, concentrating. “I have an assigned spot and then we’ll head up. It’s pretty late, I’m sure you’re exhausted.”

Baekhyun won’t deny the light soreness in his legs, a direct result of The Run but he doesn’t feel exhausted . At least not physically.

“Is this your first time in the city, love?” Chanyeol continues, turning to a different row of cars. 

“I’ve been here before but it was years ago, when I was a pup.” Baekhyun supplies. He wonders if now would be a good time to apologize and so he starts to gather his courage, tries to up it on a pedestal but it proves difficult. 

Coward. Baekhyun thinks to himself, fighting off the urge to shiver from the cool air hitting his exposed chest and collarbones. 

“I’ve lived in the city my whole life.” Chanyeol informs him, slowly bringing the car to a stop in front of an empty space. “So have my parents, though they live more towards the outskirts.” 

“Oh,” Chanyeol says in realization and he turns to look at Baekhyun. “I should probably call them.”

“Maybe tomorrow, what if they’re asleep.” Baekhyun says because it’s really the only thing he could say. The mention of Chanyeol’s parents sends his heart into a frenzy of anxiousness. What if they don’t like him?

And then that opens up the harsh question of why would Baekhyun care? Isn’t he the one who, mere hours ago, was claiming not to want a mate? If anything, the lack of approval from Chanyeol’s parents would fuel Baekhyun’s desire. 

And yet, as Baekhyun thinks all of this, he knows that’s wrong. He knows that he has come to desire more of Chanyeol but it’s terrifying, admitting it to himself.

Baekhyun tries to tell himself that once again, it’s just his wolf. 

Baekhyun stands behind Chanyeol as the alpha opens the door. He made sure to put some distance between them. 

The elevator ride was horrible. 

Being in a closed, condensed space with Chanyeol was torture, every second had mocked Baekhyun as his resistance withered away. There had been enough space to put a planet or two in between them but Baekhyun had found himself close to Chanyeol, enough to barely reach out and graze his palm against the back of Chanyeol’s hand. 

There was an electric current in the air, within Baekhyun and it was almost impossible to contain. This paired with Chanyeol’s scent, with his bare neck and chest taunting him, caused something extraordinarily painful within Baekhyun, dancing across his bones. 

He wanted to reach out, wanted to— to touch. Maybe to make sure this is real, maybe– maybe because he wanted to see if Chanyeol would touch him back. Maybe he could relieve the soft whispers of desire that have settled in his stomach. 

Baekhyun watches as Chanyeol’s shoulders move, the broadness of his back, the muscles so clearly displayed despite the fact that they were covered by the tanned material of his suit.

There are straps of bags resting on his shoulders, three sports bags full of clothes and personal items that Baekhyun’s dad had insisted on filling. Chanyeol had insisted on carrying them and seeing how effortlessly Chanyeol is holding him, how strong he really is—

It does something to Baekhyun. He’s embarrassed to admit it excites him, embarrassed to admit that he’s attracted to his mate. 

Baekhyun wonders if Chanyeol is attracted to him. 

Chanyeol swings the door open and a wave of his scent hits Baekhyun, pinches his nose almost lovingly. Baekhyun catches the whimper in his throat before it can escape. 

He’s horrified by the way his body would have reacted. The small, shy smile Chanyeol shoots him makes it worse, makes the whimper trapped in his throat stir. 

“Come in,” Chanyeol says as he gestures for Baekhyun to go inside first. 

“Thank you,” Baekhyun tells him as he walks past Chanyeol, careful to not brush their bodies together. 

He is met with a very spacious entryway and spacious living area with a pair of couches and a coffee table in the middle. The interior is dark, expensive, modern and it’s clean. Everything looks brand new. 

Baekhyun stops at the beginning of a couple so stairs that lead downward, to the flat ground of the living area. He notices a pair of shoes, presumably Chanyeol’s and Baekhyun slides his off, painfully aware of his dirt ridden sneakers. 

He feels Chanyeol behind him, hears the sound of the door closing and locking. 

Baekhyun scans the room in front of him, sees the pristine kitchen, the staircase towards the back. There are things that show Chanyeol resides here, such as the couple of picture frames on the walls, the plants on the window stil that looks into the city. 

It’s painfully obvious that Chanyeol is well off. 

Baekhyun feels insecurity crawling up his spine. 

“Let’s go upstairs,” Chanyeol says as he moves from behind Baekhyun, black socks moving against the wooden floor. 

Baekhyun has no choice but to trail after Chanyeol, awkwardly placing his hands to his side. He doesn’t quite know what to do with himself. It’s odd, it smells like home, from Chanyeol’s lingering scent but it still feels like a stranger's home. 

They walk up the stairs, Baekhyun still observing the place, taking in the details, all while breathing in Chanyeol’s scent, feeling as if he’s being filled with it to the brim. 

Baekhyun allows himself to admit it feels nice. 

Chanyeol leads Baekhyun into a rather open hallway with three doors. They pass by a door with a distinct smell coming from it and Baekhyun knows it’s Chanyeol’s bedroom. He resists the urge to stop in front of it. 

Chanyeol, still carrying the three bags, stops next to the door next to it. 

“This is your room,” He says, opening the door. He nods to the door across from it. “That’s the guest bathroom, it’s yours as well. There’s another one in my room." 

He moves away and Baekhyun walks in. 

The room is spacious, much bigger than his own back in the pack. The walls are white, bare and there’s a window, the blinds open and overlooking the city, showcasing the pretty lights. 

Chanyeol places the bags on the bed placed across the window. The sheets are white, and plain. There’s a closet and a desk. Clearly a guest room and yet, Chanyeol’s scent seems to linger. 

Baekhyun's turns around, intentionally ignoring the rise and fall of Chanyeol’s chest. “It smells like you,” He states. 

Chanyeol shoves his hands into the pockets of his tan pants, “This used to be my music room but I stored everything away.” 

“You play?” Baekhyun asks, surprised.

“Yeah,” there’s an excited, prideful tilt to Chanyeol’s voice. “I can play the guitar and the keyboard. I’ve started singing a little but I still need practice.”

“So you’re a musician?” 

“Kinda, I want to become a producer, get signed on by a big brand some day. I’m majoring in music production,” Chanyeol informs him. 

“Wow,” Baekhyun says, taking in the differences between life in the city and life in the pack. 

College, studying a career hadn’t really been an option for Baekhyun. He knew his family could afford it, knew he qualified for government assistance but it had been made abundantly clear by his mother that he was to not leave. 

And at the time, Baekhyun hadn’t really questioned it. 

He hated his mother for putting limitations on him, for restricting him but he didn’t know anyone going to college. Minseok had decided to stay behind, and decided to learn via textbooks. Jongdae had moved to the city at the first opportunity.  

Baekhyun finds himself looking wistfully at Chanyeol, at the brightness of his youth, of the opportunities that had been given to him. And even though Baekhyun isn’t much older, he feels tired, as if he’s lived a lifetime. 

But he doesn’t want to wallow, doesn’t want to pity himself. He wants to learn more about Chanyeol. That’s what courting is right?

“So,” Baekhyun says, pulling out the chair from the desk and settling on it. He fears if he sits on the bed and Chanyeol sits next to him, he would give into the heat clawing at his stomach. “You’re a college student.”

Chanyeol nods. “I’m on break now and won’t start again for a couple of months. I don’t mind postponing it, if you’d like, love.”

Baekhyun is confused. “Why would you do that?”

Chanyeol sits on the bed, placing his elbows on his knees, leaning forward. “I don’t want to be too busy for you.”

Baekhyun blinks, doesn’t know— he doesn’t know what to do with the warmth that has been etched into his skin. 

It’s unfamiliar to him, the knowledge of being dear to someone. Of knowing that Chanyeol cares that much, cares that much about Baekhyun’s feelings, about his wants and needs. 

And Baekhyun has to ask, he has to know—

“How is it so easy for you?” He asks, voice catching. “How can you be so willing to– to do all of those things for me?”

“I don’t know,” Chanyeol breathes out, building a fragile bridge between his and Baekhyun’s eyes. “I just really want to take care of you. I want to love you.” 

Baekhyun exhales, shaky, unsteady and there is a movement within him and he realizes it’s all the butterflies he’s swallowed, all of the stars that have made their home in the hollow of his ribs are exploding, all at once and it’s– it’s so overwhelming and unfair. 

“You just feel that way because of your wolf.” Baekhyun tells him and he’s surprised by the pain in his voice. “because of instincts.”

“You’re right,” Chanyeol says, his voice deep, reaching into the corners of Baekhyun’s being. “But I want to give this a try, I really do. And–” Chanyeol stops himself, clenches his jaw and looks away. He laughs a small, heavy laugh. “Never mind.”

“Tell me,” Baekhyun says, heart convulsing, sending uncontrolled tremors in his bones. 

Chanyeol meets his gaze again, dark and unsure. There is hesitance on his brows, his nose and lips and Baekhyun wants it to go away. 

“I think,” Chanyeol tells Baekhyun, “that I’m already half in love with you.” 

Baekhyun inhales sharply, almost cutting his lungs and there is a surge of warmth all throughout his body, down the lines of his being, to the tips of his fingers. He stares at Chanyeol while there are suns and moons colliding and Baekhyun doesn’t understand what is happening to him, why he feels light, why he seems to be slipping away.

He doesn’t understand why his heart is so hellbent on destroying itself. 

Chanyeol looks away and there’s a shift in the room, an awkwardness settling in between them, pushing the two of them away and Baekhyun searches through his pockets to look for the proper words to speak. 

“I don’t—” Baekhyun swallows down his beating heart. “I don’t know what to say.” 

“You don’t have to say anything,” Chanyeol tells him, tenderly, warm. “You don’t owe me anything, Baekhyun.”

But Baekhyun isn’t ready to let this conversation walk away, he needs to get his feelings out into the open. It’s only fair to become as vulnerable as Chanyeol had allowed himself to become. 

And not only that but… Baekhyun trusts him. 

“I need time,” Baekhyun tells him. “It’s hard for me, to– to easily open myself. I didn’t have the chance to see the wonderful things people say about being mated.” 

He meets Chanyeol’s eyes, locks them together. “I can’t promise anything, Chanyeol. And… I’m sorry about earlier.” He bites the inside of his cheek, struggles to control his aching heart. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

“It’s okay,” Chanyeol’s voice is deep, heartfelt. “And thank you. For being honest.” 

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun tells him because he doesn’t know what else to say. 

Chanyeol smiles gently. “There’s nothing to be sorry about.” 

Baekhyun wakes up and for a moment he isn’t aware of his surroundings, panic filling the hollowness of his bones. 

And then it all comes rushing back. 

The Blue Moon, finding his mate, Chanyeol, everything about Chanyeol comes rushing back, his smile, his deep voice, the softness of his eyes, the adoration within them–

Baekhyun doesn’t know why but he finds himself smiling into the pillow.

He wipes it away quickly.  

Living with Chanyeol wasn’t weird or off putting. 

It felt natural, easy. 

Baekhyun looks at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, brushing his teeth. He woke up early today, earlier than what he has been waking up the past three days. 

Today, Chanyeol will start building their hut in the pack. 

The past three days have been filled with trips to hardware stores and buying furniture. At first, Baekhyun had been worried that their dynamic had changed due to their talk but in the morning, Chanyeol had greeted Baekhyun with dimples and a plate of buchimgae. 

Baekhyun rinses the toothpaste out, wiping his mouth with a towel afterwards. 

He stares at his reflection and he finds himself wanting to make himself pretty. 

This thought isn’t new. Another thing that living with Chanyeol has brought is the feeling of insecurity, 

Chanyeol doesn’t make Baekhyun feel insecure or make him feel as if he has to dress up. But it’s hard, waking up everyday and suffering from a blood rush that Chanyeol’s appearance brings. 

At first, Baekhyun had thought that while yes, Chanyeol is very handsome, the exquisit, almost ethereal, aura that had clung to him had been the result of the Blue Moon. Baekhyun had been wrong because everyday, he is greeted with the feeling of intense attraction. 

Even when Chanyeol comes strolling into the kitchen wearing pajama pants and a wrinkled t-shirt, he’s stunning. 

It’s staggering, knowing a god wants him, is half in love with him. 

Baekhyun sighs, running a hand through his floppy brown hair. 

He takes in his droopy eyes, the overall softness in his face and once again, he wonders if Chanyeol is attracted to him. Baekhyun knows he has the ideal body shape but is reluctant to think his face is anything spectacular. 

It would be easier if Chanyeol wasn’t taking his suppressant pills. 

That’s another thing Baekhyun had been surprised to learn, that those in the city are mandated to take scent suppressants. 

“It’s to create a comfortable environment for everyone,” Chanyeol had told him.

“But why can't everyone just be respectful to each other?” Baekhyun had asked. 

Apparently, living in a close knitted pack is very different from living in an open, diverse city. 

In the pack, everyone is aware of everyone, aware of their feelings but it’s a respectable knowledge, not meant to be used against anyone but to bring everyone together. To truly become a pack. 

Baekhyun had decided to not get suppressants, despite the fact that Chanyeol said he would pay for them. 

It felt like a big decision, as if he’s agreeing to reside in the city, to continue living with Chanyeol here. And maybe Baekhyun does want that but it’s much too soon to think about something as important as that. 

Still, perhaps he should have said yes. 

There’s a challenge in trying to suppress his want for Chanyeol. Not just the want that arises from memories of Chanyeol’s sunkissed body but also the want to hold his hand, to be wrapped within his arms and hear the beating of his heart. 

It’s too early to be thinking about things like this. 

Baekhyun reaches across the bathroom counter and grabs the tube of gel. 

He attempts to style his hair, pushing it upward, trying out the hair style Chanyeol is so fond of. Baekhyun manages to style it somewhat but he feels ridiculous. 

It would be embarrassing, walking out there, heart thumping pathetically as he waits for a compliment. 

Baekhyun bites the inside of his cheek. 

Why do I care so much? He thinks. 

Baekhyun decides to wash the gel out of his hair, knowing that answering that question will only result in acknowledging feelings that he does not wish to admit. 

When Baekhyun walks out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped up in his wet hair, wet shirt clinging to him, he runs into Chanyeol. 

A wet, shirtless Chanyeol. 

They both freeze and Baekhyun can’t help but stare, eyes shattering. 

Golden skin everywhere, valleys of muscles, the gentle grooves of Chanyeol’s abdomen, the raw power rippling through his chest, his shoulders, the manner in which tiny drops of water drip down his skin, creating a path that Baekhyun has only dreamt of following with his tongue. 

Heat travels up Baekhyun’s neck, warming him up as if he’s taken a gulp of the sun, and it’s as if the thermostat is broken and the only way his body can relieve him of the sudden humidity is by sending rose petals to dance onto the apples of his cheeks. 

Baekhyun can’t seem to rip his eyes away, and he finds that is the last thing on the agenda, the first being pressing his lips against Chanyeol’s chest, his collarbones, trace the lines of his body and finally breathing in the scent that has buried itself within every corner of Baekhyun’s entire being. 

Mind plagued with conflict, Baekhyun trails his eyes downward, to the sight of the towel wrapped around Chanyeol’s waist,  hanging dangerously low on his hips and Baekhyun is dangerously close to pushing it away.  

At the sight of Chanyeol’s big hand holding it tightly, his fingers and arm flexing, and there’s a whimper working it’s way out of Baekhyun’s lips and the only reason it hasn’t burst out yet is because he’s petrified.

Petrified by the fluttering in his chest and the heavy drop of desire in his stomach. 

Realizing that he’s spent a handful of seconds openly gawking, Baekhyun rushes to look up, look away, look at anything other than muscles splayed in front of him. 

He locks eyes with Chanyeol. 

Chanyeol, for some reason, has a light pink hue to his ears. 

And then he smiles, sleepish, shy and Baekhyun—

Baekhyun wishes someone would remind him how to breathe. 

“Um, good morning,” 

“Morning,” Baekhyun replies, voice catching a little. 

A few beats of silence. Baekhyun struggles to think of what to say, of any words that will fill the increasing silence between them. 

“Your shirt,” Chanyeol comments suddenly. 

“Huh?” Baekhyun looks down, hand holding the towel wrap to make sure it doesn’t topple over. 

His heart pounds within his chest. 

Baekhyun likes to sleep in oversized clothes, it’s warm, comfortable. Except sometimes the wide shirt collars expose his collarbones and sometimes, if they’re pulled down enough, Baekhyun’s entire chest is showing. 

He had been too lazy to take a shower so Baekhyun had stuck his head underneath the shower head, not minding the water that dripped into his shirt. Now, his shirt hung heavily, exposing his chest, even a little bit of his nipples.

Baekhyun inhales sharply, quickly adjusting his shirt, a streak of red paint on his cheeks. It’s embarrassing, god he should have noticed. Baekhyun swallows down something that tastes like acid and insecurity. 

“I’m gonna go change now,” Baekhyun says softly, glad that Chanyeol didn’t bring up the fact that Baekhyun had shamelessly stared.  

He quickly enters his room, closing the door behind him. 

Baekhyun breathes out the breath he didn’t realize he had been holding in, heart galloping. 

Perhaps, in a different situation, he would feel differently, perhaps even dared to teased Chanyeol a bit but Baekhyun isn’t confident. He doesn’t feel hot or sexy, he feels stupid. He feels like a mess and Chanyeol had stood there, half naked, looking like a fucking sex god. 

Baekhyun tries to swallow down the insecurity crawling up his throat and goes to his opened sports bag on the floor. 

He crouches and shifts his hands through, trying to put together an outfit so he could go down stairs and make a quick breakfast. 

It’s always been a habit of Baekhyun’s, occasionally helping his dad make breakfast in the morning. Only the difference with making breakfast for Chanyeol is that he enjoys it. 

Chanyeol had never hinted or asked Baekhyun to make breakfast, in fact the alpha had made breakfast Baekhyun’s first morning. It just happened, making breakfast, sometimes lunch, and making dinner with Chanyeol’s help. 

It’s enjoyable, it’s fun talking to Chanyeol about everything and anything while making a meal together. It’s… intimate almost. Shared moments that Baekhyun tucks into his pocket and cradles against his chest while he sleeps. 

Watching Chanyeol enjoy the food gives Baekhyun a deep sense of satisfaction, his chest practically swells from pride. 

I’m such an omega, Baekhyun thinks, pulling out some shirts. 

But it doesn’t feel as insulting as it had before, as if Baekhyun is slowly learning to accept his nature. It’s easy, when Chanyeol doesn’t make him feel like he’s just an omega. Like he has a role to fulfil. 

It’s almost alarming, how fast everything is changing in the course of a few days. How fast Baekhyun can feel his opinions and emotions changing. 

Baekhyun walks past Chanyeol’s room, deliberately pausing in front of the Alpha’s room, head tilted to the side. While he can’t make out Chanyeol’s scent, he can hear shuffling within.

Relieved, Baekhyun makes his way down the stairs, dressed in a plain short sleeve and some joggers. At least now he has the time to brush off the warmth that has still managed to cling onto him. 

Still, he knows he’ll never forget the sight of Chanyeol’s skin, the feeling of struggling to remember how to breathe something other than desire. 

Baekhyun makes his way to the clean kitchen, having already decided to make rice and stew, something light to start off the day. The day is to be full of labor and Baekhyun knows it’s not a good idea to eat heavily. 

He’s halfway through chopping up some vegetables when he senses Chanyeol entering the kitchen. 

Baekhyun looks up, setting the knife down on the chopping board, taking in Chanyeol’s appearance for the day. He wore a similar outfit as Baekhyun’s yet Chanyeol managed to cause Baekhyun’s heart to trip. 

Shaking away thoughts of Chanyeol’s bare chest, Baekhyun says, “I’m making extra today, for Sehun and Junmyeon.”

“Great, let me help you, love.” 

Chanyeol washes his hands and he goes to check on the rice. 

Baekhyun forces himself not to stare, finding once again hard to keep his eyes off of Chanyeol. He forces himself to resume chopping, easily getting into a rhythm. 

Junmyeon is Chanyeol’s alpha friend from college, a year older than Baekhyun. Sehun is Junmyeon’s mate and he’s Chanyeol’s age. Baekhyun learned all of this from Chanyeol and he’s nervous to meet the couple, worried what their opinion about him will be. 

Baekhyun tries not to think about why their opinion would matter in the first place. 

Chanyeol stands next to him on the kitchen island, a respectable distance and yet, Baekhyun feels overwhelmed by his presence, feeling as if molten lava is being poured into the mold of his soul. 

He wants to reach out and touch Chanyeol and Baekhyun admits that feeling has always been present from the moment they met but for some reason, in this very moment, it threatens to take over all of his senses. 

Baekhyun feels like he’s about to explode and he’s worried that he’s the only one who feels like this. 

His knife hovers over the half chopped carrot, still in a manner that is juxtaposing to the earthquake going on inside of him. 

Baekhyun wonders if Chanyeol feels this way too, thinking about the words Chanyeol had told him before. 

 I wouldn’t mind falling in love with you.

I think I’m already half in love with you

Did Chanyeol really feel that way? Or has it just been the effects of the Blue Moon?

At the thought of Chanyeol having been under the influence of the moon and spouting out things because they felt right in the moment, Baekhyun feels an ache in his chest. 

He’s too much of a coward to admit what it could possibly mean. 

Chanyeol sighs and Baekhyun immediately turns to look at him, the feeling of concern etched into his skin. 

“Is something wrong?” Baekhyun asks, memories of this morning ricocheting throughout his brain. 

“I’m sorry for this morning,” Chanyeol’s eyes are conflicted, the lines and curves of his face strained. 

Baekhyun is so, so confused.

“I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable,” Chanyeol continues, guilty, “And I should have better control over myself—”

“I don’t understand,” Baekhyun interrupts, baffled by Chanyeol’s words, by the misunderstanding. If anything Baekhyun should be the one apologizing.

Chanyeol’s guilty expression is ridden with confusion. 

“This morning when– when we walked out of the restroom at the same time–“ Chanyeol swallows and looks away. “I was staring at your chest and I shouldn’t have and I promise to never do it again.”

Baekhyun blinks. Oh.

“I didn’t even notice,” Baekhyun stammers. “To be honest, I was busy staring at your chest,”

“I noticed,” Chanyeol says, a tilt to his voice, a tilt to the corner of his lips. “I didn’t mind,” 

There’s a playfulness in his voice, behind his eyes and Baekhyun realizes that Chanyeol is flirting with him. 

But just as soon as it had come, the playful, almost smug smile is tucked into a straight line.

“But it wasn’t right, looking at you and I don't want you to think that you have to give me anything or do anything, sweetheart.” There is a struggle within Chanyeol, against the background of the brown in his eyes. 

Baekhyun understands what Chanyeol is trying to say, where the guilt swimming in his eyes originates from but—

“I didn’t think—” Baekhyun breathes in, wonders if he should say what he is thinking, blood rushing to his cheeks. “I didn’t think you found me attractive.”

He regrets the words as soon as they’re out of his mouth. 

They sound pitiful, as if he’s fishing for a compliment, shallow almost. 

“Sorry, just forget I said that—” 

Baekhyun scrambles to put verbs and adjectives together, struggles to remember how to use conjunctions, how to string together, something, anything that will distract from his previous sentence. 

God, why why why did he say that?

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol calls out, deep voice soothing, saying Baekhyun’s name in a manner that causes the sun outside to melt. 

Baekhyun swallows. “Yes?”

“I think you’re beautiful.” Chanyeol tells him.

The sincerity in his voice, the fondness in his eyes is striking against the almost violent convulsion of Baekhyun’s heart. 

“We’re here,” Chanyeol announces, pulling the truck into the designated parking lot of the pack, although it was nothing more than an area of dirt. 

The truck is a rental, the trunk full of material needed to start on building the hut. 

It’s surreal almost. It shouldn’t be, Baekhyun had been the one to go out to the stores with Chanyeol, yet he can’t believe Chanyeol is going through with his promise.

It makes his heart tumble into the depths of shimmering warmth. 

“I’m excited,” Sehun says from the back.

“You just want to see Junmyeon all sweaty and worked up,” Chanyeol says without hesitation, getting out of the car, keys jingling in his hand.

Sehun meets Baekhyun’s eyes in the rear view mirror and shrugs. “I mean, he’s not wrong.”

Junmyeon merely rolls his eyes unbuckling himself and saying something that sounds like, “If you don’t help, you can’t look.”

Baekhyun laughs at Sehun’s pout. 

Junmyeon and Sehun had been very welcoming, and had easily accepted Baekhyun into the group's dynamic. Especially Sehun, he had made an effort to joke around with Baekhyun, as if they’ve known each other for years.

Chanyeol opens Baekhyun’s door and Baekhyun proceeds to get out.

 “Careful,” he says. 

Baekhyun jumps off, stumbling a little. He reaches out automatically to steady himself and yet, when his hand touches a solidness of Chanyeol’s pecs, his heart gasps, threatening to shatter. 

“I got you,” Chanyeol tells him, reaching out and placing a hand on Baekhyun’s waist, steading him. 

As soon as gravity steadies Baekhyun, Chanyeol removes his hand, leaving behind the burning imprint. Baekhyun stares as Chanyeol turns around and walks to the trunk, unloading the material and—

He wishes Chanyeol hadn’t let go, wishes Chanyeol had lingered a bit. The ghost feeling of Chanyeol’s warm, heavy hand plays with Baekhyun’s heart, almost mocking him. 

“Let’s go,” Sehun tells him, suddenly appearing. There’s a knowing look in his eyes. 

With a grunt, Chanyeol places a beam of wood on the ground. 

“Alright that’s all of it,” He tells Junmyeon.

There was a light sheen of sweat on Chanyeol’s forehead and he wipes it off with the back of his hand, his forearms flexing, muscles straining against his golden skin. 

Baekhyun finds himself struggling, a wave of raw want flooding every pore of his body. It’s unsettling, it’s wrong , what right does Baekhyun have to feel this way?

He’s my mate, Baekhyun thinks, trying to justify him but it feels wrong. As if Baekhyun would only call Chanyeol his mate in moments of connivence. 

Pushing away the sudden guilt crawling up his spine, Baekhyun focuses on the conversation.

“...how we’re going to get everything over there.” Sehun turns to Chanyeol. “Do you even know if there’s a designated spot?”

“All new buildings are to be built on the west side of the pack,” Baekhyun says. “My dad promised he would inform Head Alpha. There should be a plot with my name on it.”

Baekhyun points to his left, towards an empty space of land. The pack was relatively small, despite having a lot of land, santuned by the government. There was a good amount of space in between each hut but close enough to resemble a close knit community. 

Baekhyun supposes it is, but he’s never felt that sense of pack that everyone seems to have. He’s never isolated himself but never seeked friends outside of Minseok. Baekhyun was just… living. Waking up every morning and pushing through the day. 

In the end, Baekhyun proposed borrowing the moving dolly from the community tool shed. 

“You have that here?” Sehun asks, surprised. “Wow, the pack really does help one another huh?”

Baekhyun nods, despite the fact that he seems to be excluded in that ‘help one another’ philosophy.

Where was the pack when Baekhyun and his dad suffered under the hands of his mother?

“Sounds like a plan,” Chanyeol says and then he faces Baekhyun and asks him, “Are you going to visit your dad? It’s been days.”

Baekhyun nods, overwhelmed for some reason. He misses his dad, he’s worried and he wants to make sure his mother’s behavior hasn't become worse. Hadn’t taken advantage of Baekhyun’s absence. 

“I’m sure he’ll be glad to see you,” Chanyeol says warmly.

Baekhyun knows his mother is back the moment he reaches the edge of his home. 

He can feel her, can feel the dominating presence and it’s suffocating. Living with Chanyeol, who’s on surpresents, had made Baekhyun forget how strong an alpha scent can be. How aggressive it can become.

The door opens and out comes Byun Bongcha, dressed in her work outfit, briefcase and red lipstick that Baekhyun dislikes.

Baekhyun freezes when his mom flickers her cold gaze onto him.

“Why are you here?” She demands, walking aggressively in his direction. “You have a lot of nerve coming here, omega.”

Baekhyun bristles at the title. How is this woman his mother? How can she be so cold?

“I’m here to see dad,” Baekhyun says, sounding braver, steadier than he actually feels. 

Bongcha lets out a laugh, “Why do you think I would even allow that?"

“What?” Baekhyun exclaims. “He’s my dad , you can’t keep him from me! You’re fucking insane.”

She narrows her eyes. “Watch yourself. I know you tried to turn him against me, told him to leave with you and your mate.”

He told her? Baekhyun thinks, although he shouldn’t be surprised. He knows his dad is bound to her, bound by the instinctual loyalty.

She flicks her gaze up and down Baekhyun’s figure. “I can smell him but no mating bite, Baekhyun?” Her voice becomes taunting, piercing, “Seems like your mate doesn’t want you.”

Baekhyun clenches his jaw, ignoring the jab, ignoring the insecurity creeping up his spine. 

“You’re such a child, ” Baekhyun spits out. “An insecure, control freak! I don’t fucking care what you do, I’m to see my dad and— and I’m going to convince him to leave—”

“Don't you think he would have if he wanted to?” His mom says. “He doesn’t want to leave. He doesn’t want you.”

“You’re just manipulating him,” Baekhyun says, hands forming into fists. “You’re taking advantage of the fact that you’re mates.”

Bongcha designs a smug smile. “Ask him yourself, he’ll only give you the same answer.”

And she leaves, walks past Baekhyun with that passive aggressive smile that Baekhyun desperately wants to crush in his fist. 

Instead, Baekhyun opts to rush into his home, swinging the door open. 

He walks in, the overbearing scent of his mother strangling him and he sees his dad sitting at the kitchen table. 

Baekhyun knows he heard the conversation outside and so he immediately asks, “Is it true?” 

“Is what true?” Byun Hyunwoo asks, actively avoiding Baekhyun's efforts to meet his gaze. 

“You know what I’m talking about,” Baekhyun says, unwilling to coax it out, unwilling to be gentle.

His dad sighs, “Look Baekhyun, that isn’t important right now, what’s important is why Chanyeol hasn’t marked you yet—”

“Is it true?” Baekhyun repeats, voice cold, hard. 

His dad turns away.

“Not exactly.” He sighs. “I love you Baekkie, of course I do, but I don’t wish to leave with you. I love your mother.”

“But she’s hurting you! ” Baekhyun doesn't understand why his dad keeps insisting on clinging to this life that he has the opportunity to get away from. “Why are you conveniently forgetting all of the things she’s done?”

Baekhyun watches as his dad struggles, as he tries to pull reasons out of thin air and for some reason, it angers Baekhyun. 

“Is it easier to stay with her?” Baekhyun asks, heart pounding, lungs screaming and he feels guilty as well, he knows he should judge, knows it isn’t his place to throw all these accusations but he’s so tired of trying to save his dad. 

“Baekhyun, just drop it,” His dad tells him. 

“Fine.” Baekhyun says, feeling defeated, feeling dismissed. 

He can’t bring himself to care as much as before. He’s learned that he can’t save someone who doesn’t wish to be saved and he won’t stop trying, he won’t abandon his father but Baekhyun just can’t deal with it anymore. 

“Baekhyun, don’t be mad please— ”

“I’m not mad, I’m just very disappointed.” 

He decides to leave, decides that there’s nothing keeping him inside of this hut, inside of this toxic environment.

“Chanyeol and his friends are here building our new hut and I’ll be back for the rest of my stuff.”

And Baekhyun leaves, unwilling to find other words to say to his dad. 

As Baekhyun pushes the red dolly towards the edge of the village, he runs into Minseok. 

He’s surprised, he figured at this time Minseok would have been on his way to the city, for work.

“Baekhyun!” Minseok calls out, a grin on his face.

“Hi,” Baekhyun says, mustering up a grin to cover up his dejection. “Shouldn’t you be at work?”

“I woke up late and I’m kind of in a rush but I’m so glad you’re okay.” Minseok tells him. “I was worried, I heard you found your mate.”

Baekhyun nods. “His name is Chanyeol, he’s here actually, building our hut with a couple of friends.”

“Yeah, Yixing told me.” Minseok shifts on his feet. “So you’re staying then?”

Baekhyun wants to tell Minseok what had just happened, about how the only reason he persuaded Chanyeol to establish a home no longer has a hold. A part of him wants to tell Chanyeol to forget about it, to pack everything up and just go back to the apartment.

But Baekhyun had never been one to talk about his feelings, had never been close enough with Minseok to rant or pour his heart out. 

So he smiles and says, “Yeah.” because it’s easier that way. 

After a half genuine promise to catch up later, Minseok rushes off. 

Baekhyun understands that Minseok has his own life, his own family to care for and while it may be unintentionally, Baekhyun no longer has a predominant place in it anymore. 

He really doesn’t have any motivation to remain in the pack and the realization of this is deafening, makes the earth underneath his feet feel flimsy.

He has to tell Chanyeol. 

Baekhyun arrives to the west side of the pack and his senses are flooded with relief, swirling into the deepest ends of his subconsciousness. 

The building hasn’t started yet. There is a mini pile of wood planks, bags of nails and tools scattered. Chanyeol, Sehun and Junmyeon are all huddled together, looking at a blueprint Junmyeon is holding. 

Baekhyun walks up to them, and Chanyeol lifts his head up, face breaking into a fond small grin, the one Baekhyun is starting to believe is only reserved for him. It’s a ridiculous thought. 

“How was it?” Chanyeol asks.

Baekhyun’s heart freezes, frozen in fear, dread prickling his skin, and a great wave of sadness hits him all of a sudden. He swallows it down, mixing it with the ocean stuck in his throat. 

“Um,” Baekhyun says, unable to form words, too busy trying to get a grip on his emotions. He smiles, tries to pull together an expression that shows the opposite of what he’s feeling, tries to pretend the seed of disappointment and despair hadn’t settled deep within his soul. 

“It was fine—” Baekhyun manages to say before this throat starts to close in on him, and fuck there are tears swelling up underneath his eyes and it’s so stupid why is he crying for? And he tries to swallow them back, relishes in their burn as a distraction. 

“Baek— ” Chanyeol makes his way towards Baekhyun, concerned etched into his handsome features, swimming in the depths of his eyes.

Baekhyun’s breath stutters, heavy from the failure he is feeling and then there are strong arms around him, and there’s a large hand behind his head, tucking him gently into the deep warmth of Chanyeol’s chest, and being this close allows Baekhyun to breathe in the raw concern and reassurance of Chanyeol’s scent, of the strong beating of his heart. 

Baekhyun wraps his arms around Chanyeol, hands splayed against his broad, muscular back and he unravels. He sobs into Chanyeol’s chest, feels the burn of teardrops rolling down his face, the feeling of his throat clenching around the sadness that had been caused by the nonfulfillment of his hopes. 

He lets out ugly sounds, sounds that normally he would be insecure about but being in Chanyeol’s embrace is comforting, the fingers stroking the back of his head only encourage the strange vulnerability Baekhyun has found in the arms of this man he has grown fond of. 

“Hey, it’s okay, love, it’s alright, everything will be alright.”

Baekhyun forces himself to recover his self-control, biting down on his tears, and he starts to sniffle— how long has he been crying?  

He realizes where he is, remembers that Junmyeon and Sehun were here, god this isn’t the time for a breakdown. 

“Sorry—” Baekhyun tries to say but his voice is muffled by the fabric of Chanyeol’s shirt, by the beating of his heart. He tries to pull away and the hand stroking his hair goes slack, allowing Baekhyun to move away. 

And as much as every bone, every pore, every molecule is screaming to not let go, Baekhyun does it anyways. 

Chanyeol seems to have a hard time letting Baekhyun go because his arms are still wrapped around Baekhyun, managing to hold on to him despite the dead space in between them.

“What happened?” Chanyeol asks softly, looking down at Baekhyun with so much tenderness that Baekhyun’s heart threatens to break. “You can tell me,”

Chanyeol reaches up and cups Baekhyun’s face with both hands, frames it with the gentle whisper of his warmth and concern.

With tear-stained cheeks, Baekhyun tells him, “I don’t want to stay here anymore.”

There’s confusion painted on Chanyeol’s handsome face but the concern in his eyes doesn’t falter. Instead it’s paired with protectiveness and a silent anger.

“Did your mother do something?” Chanyeol asks, “Did she hurt you?”

“No, no, it’s my dad—” Baekhyun can feel his throat clenching once more and he struggles to finish his sentence. “He doesn’t want to leave her, despite everything and I’m just so tired of trying to be a hero and– and maybe it’s selfish of me but—” He cuts himself off, fearing that the tears will come back up. 

“It’s not selfish,” Chanyeol tells him, stroking Baekhyun’s wet cheek with his thumb, his voice deep and intense. “You did the best you could and I think that is very selfless of you.”

And Baekhyun has to know so he whispers, “Are you mad?”

“Of course not,” Chanyeol says instantly, “If you don’t want to live here, that’s fine, I just—” Chanyeol takes in a tight breath, “I just want you to be alright.”

Baekhyun looks at Chanyeol, takes in his warmth, his worry, his care, and feels the way his hands are keeping Baekhyun from drifting into dead space

And Baekhyun knows he’ll be fine. 

There’s a thrill to it, knowing he might be able to breathe for the first time in his life.

Sehun and Junmyeon don’t question Chanyeol when he starts putting the material back on the pulley. They start helping immediately and Baekhyun helps out. 

He feels Sehun's concerned stare on their way back but thankfully the omega doesn’t point out the dried tears. 

Baekhyun is embarrassed by his public display, almost ashamed by it. It isn’t something he does but being held by Chanyeol— 

It had been easy giving into his warmth. His affection. 

They’re sitting in the car again, Chanyeol is driving carefully through the road that leads to the bridge and Baekhyun wants to reach out and intertwine their fingers. 

He wants to show Chanyeol how grateful he is, for his understanding, his patience. 

Baekhyun glances at Junmyeon and Sehun from the rearview mirror. The couple is preoccupied with watching something on Sehun’s phone, sitting close together. 

They won’t notice right? 

Baekhyun bites the inside of his cheek. God why am I making such a big deal out of this? It’s just holding hands.

And yet, the thundering of thousands of butterflies trapped in his chest suggest otherwise. They suggest that everything involving Chanyeol will always be a big deal, will always be something he’ll cherish for a long, long time. 

Heart skipping, Baekhyun reaches over the console and slides his fingers in between Chanyeol’s thick, long ones. 

Their hands mold against each other easily, not even giving room for a ray of sunlight to pass through, unable to be privy to the feeling of Chanyeol’s warmth, his strength. 

Chanyeol looks at Baekhyun, surprised and Baekhyun sees the exact moment he realizes what had happened. Sees the moment happiness dances across his face, the tiny quirk of his plush lips and he squeezes Baekhyun’s hand, sends tremors up his arm, down his spine, shaking the earth itself. 

Then Chanyeol rests their clasped hands on his thigh, gently stretching Baekhyun’s arm and Baekhyun can’t deny the soft pride exploding in his chest, the feeling of bubbles rising within him. 

He didn’t realize until much later that this was the moment he subconsciously decided to start trying to love Chanyeol. 

By the time they enter their apartment, Baekhyun is ready to take a nap. 

He ignores the fact that he referred to Chanyeol’s apartment as theirs and glances at the clock in the living room. 

It’s a little past noon but Baekhyun feels exhausted, there’s a soreness in his eyes from his tears and a silent ache in his heart that he knows will take a while to sooth out. 

Chanyeol closes the door behind them, asking Baekhyun if he has anything he wants to do for the rest of the day. 

“I think I’m going to take a nap,” Baekhyun tells him, watching as Chanyeol slides off his sneakers. 

“Hm, that sounds like a good idea.” Chanyeol replies, stretching his arms behind him. 

And then he picks Baekhyun up, holding him close to his chest, a playful grin on doing a dance routine on his perfectly sculpted lips. 

Baekhyun gasps, wrapping his arms around Chanyeol’s neck for stability, although the action itself might be the reason for the sudden earthquake within him, the feeling of having a tornado and three supernovas knocking against each other in the tight space of his chest. 

“Chanyeol—” Baekhyun cuts himself off, unable to find the words to express the strange mixture of surprise, excitement and the sheer thrill of being held, of being able to smell Chanyeol’s after shave and his scent. 

Chanyeol’s smile widens, his dimples wink at Baekhyun. 

He walks to the couch, bending down and gently laying down Baekhyun on it. Baekhyun unwraps his arms, intentionally disregarding the reluctance penetrating his bones.

Before he can make an attempt to sit up, Chanyeol crawls over Baekhyun, fitting himself in the space between Baekhyun and the back of the couch. 

Baekhyun’s breath is caught within his throat, becoming cubes of ice that melt from the warmth and the euphoric feeling of being pressed up against Chanyeol’s chest. His heart falters, collapses and groans simultaneously as Chanyeol wraps an arm over Baekhyun, large hand settling on his stomach, protective, gentle

And Baekhyun finds himself settling back against Chanyeol’s broad chest, it’s so natural relaxing against him, it’s effortless allowing himself to be enveloped within Chanyeol’s strength, his affection.

The whispers of Chanyeol’s breath caresses the skin of Baekhyun’s neck and Baekhyun tenses for a moment, heart pounding ridiculously hard against his rib cage, but he isn’t scared . There’s an anticipation in his lungs, as well as the urge to move his head to the side and show Chanyeol the most valuable part of himself. 

 But then Chanyeol shifts upward, pressing his nose into the top of Baekhyun’s head and the anticipation lifts, albeit only slightly. 

“You’re being bold,” Baekhyun comments, his heart pounding against his chest, body relaxing once again against Chanyeol’s.

Chanyeol laughs into Baekhyun’s hair, the deepness of it traveling down Baekhyun’s body. 

His touch becomes more firm, “I’m going to start courting you tomorrow.“

Blood rushes up Baekhyun’s cheeks. 

“Oh?” He says, voice almost catching on the unforgiving pace of his heart. “What are the plans?”

“I want to keep it a secret.” Baekhyun can hear Chanyeol’s grin. 

“That’s not nice,” Baekhyun comments, his eyes becoming heavy, his mind wondering. Behind pressed against Chanyeol feels amazing, feels like home, safe . 

He wishes Chanyeol’s scent was stronger and feeling brave, he tells him. 

“You like my scent?” Chanyeol asks, low, pride bursting in his voice. 

“Yes,” Baekhyun admits, feeling full of clouds.

Chanyeol makes a low, pleased noise in his throat, chest rumbling, hand not so subtly pressing Baekhyun closer to him, closer to his intense warmth that rivals the sun.

“I love your scent too,” He says, a smile still present in his voice. “It suits you well,”

Baekhyun feels an explosion of pride, Chanyeol’s words satisfying a primal part of himself and he’s too engrossed by it to try to justify it. To try to blame it on his wolf, it’s all Baekhyun, the satisfaction of knowing Chanyeol loves something about him— it’s all Baekhyun. There is no Blue Moon to hide behind this time. 

“Still,” Chanyeol adds, regretfully “I have to keep using suppressants, it’s mandated by the government. We should get some for you as well,”

“So we’ll have to use them all the time?” Baekhyun asks, disappointed that Chanyeol’s scent will continue to be limited. He understands the logic behind it but… a part of him wants to be consumed by Chanyeol’s scent, by his touches and essence. 

“Not all the time,” Chanyeol mumbles into Baekhyun’s hair. He pauses for a moment. “It’s recommended to stop taking them a week before heat or rut to prevent any complications.” 

Chanyeol’s voice had gotten soft towards the end and Baekhyun could feel his ribs threatening to break from the quivering of his heart.

Hearing Chanyeol mention heat and rut , even in a casual way, causes something to stir within Baekhyun,  and the feeling gets worse as his mind strings together the words Chanyeol, heat, rut, and the imagery it brings, hands touching him, grazing his bare skin, lips against lips—

Baekhyun tries to swallow the sudden want stuck in his throat. 

He thinks he hears Chanyeol take in a tight breath. 

“When is your heat, Baekhyun?” He asks in his devastatingly deep voice dipped in honey.

Baekhyun breaks apart his lips, “In about two months,” 

“That’s plenty of time then, to get a prescription.” Chanyeol says, voice too casual, too easy. Too unaffected where as Baekhyun feels as if he’s been encapsulated by crackling anticipation. 

He’s too terrified to admit exactly what he’s anticipating. 

“Sounds good,” Baekhyun says, voice tight with fake indifference. 

“We should sleep,” Chanyeol says softly. “I want to take you somewhere tonight.”

“I thought courting starts tomorrow.”

“I decided I can’t wait that long.”

“Where are we going?” Baekhyun asks the moment Chanyeol slides into the driver's seat. 

He watches as the Alpha turns on the engine, forearms flexing. 

“It’s a secret,” Chanyeol teases, glancing in the rearview mirror before backing out of the parking spot.

Baekhyun pouts, an action he’s getting used to doing around Chanyeol. 

“Do you like horror movies?” Chanyeol asks, turning the steering wheel.

“They’re alright, I’ve only seen two.”

Chanyeol glances at Baekhyun, surprised. “Really ? Well, now we definitely have to go.”

“Go where? ” Baekhyun asks, feigning annoyance. He doesn’t really care where they go, as long as they’re together.

“There’s an open showing at my university and they’re playing The Red Shoes.” Chanyeol tells him.

“How scary is it?” Baekhyun asks wearily. 

“Very scary,” Chanyeol says in a tone that Baekhyun isn’t sure is sarcastic or genuine. 

And then Chanyeol cheekily adds, “You can hold onto me if you get scared.”

“As if I wasn’t going to do it anyway,” Baekhyun replies easily, almost startled at how natural it was to flirt back. 

And Chanyeol gives Baekhyun a smile with just the right touch of shyness, the right amount of softness. 

Baekhyun wants to feel it against his lips. 

Baekhyun doesn’t have much of an opportunity to explore Chanyeol’s school because they get there just as the movie starts to play. 

“Hold on to me,” Chanyeol says, just as the projector started showing the opening credits on the large white tapestry at the end of the big quad. 

There’s really no need, Baekhyun can see through the dark just fine. Chanyeol is probably using it as an excuse to hold his hand. 

But Baekhyun wants to touch Chanyeol too, wants to feel the steadiness that comes when their palms are together. 

“Okay,” Baekhyun tells him as he slips his fingers in between Chanyeol’s, and it feels natural, evokes the usual jerk his heart does. 

Silently, Chanyeol leads Baekhyun through the crowd, towards the middle, crouched down so as to not disrupt others' view. 

Baekhyun lets out a silent laugh, amused and he sees Chanyeol grin as well, underneath the moonlight. 

“This looks like a good spot,” Baekhyun says. “If we go any closer, there won’t be any space in the middle for you to stretch out your legs.”

“Good idea,” Chanyeol grins and he quickly unfolds the blanket that had been draped over his arm. 

Chanyeol takes off the backpack he had been wearing, dropping to his knees. 

Baekhyun mimics the action, feeling guilty for letting Chanyeol carry everything. 

“Let me show off my strength, love,” Chanyeol had told him, shamelessly grinning a boyish smile, prideful. 

Baekhyun really didn’t need a demonstration, he has safely tucked away the image of Chanyeol shirtless from the bathroom incident into his pocket, taking it out and gazing at it occasionally. 

Still, Baekhyun can’t deny the pride he feels from knowing his Alpha is strong, solid, able to protect him. 

It’s his omega instincts, of course it is but… it would be foolish for Baekhyun to deny he didn’t appreciate the taunt valleys and grooves, the silent demonstrations of Chanyeol’s strength. 

“Why did you bring three pillows?” Baekhyun whispers, hearing the sound of suspenseful music and footsteps. The movie is starting. 

“So you can be more comfortable,” Chanyeol whispers back, arranging the pillows on the blanket. 

“Oh,” Baekhyun says because he doesn’t quite know how to express the rush of warmth and starlight that has suddenly decided to invade his veins. 

“How does that look?” Chanyeol asks after a moment and Baekhyun wonders if Chanyeol understands that he has caused an earthquake within him. 

The pillows were neatly arranged, propped up in a manner that would give Baekhyun both back and butt support. 

“What about you?” Baekhyun asks, soft and careful, trying not to interrupt the movie. There was space between them and the group of people on their right and left but still, it’s polite. 

“I’m fine,” Chanyeol says.

He gestures for Baekhyun to sit down but he shakes his head, heart inverting and being turned upside down as he gathers up the courage to say what he wants to say. 

“If we get close,” Baekhyun says, rose petals blooming on his face, “then we can share the pillows.”

And despite being almost one hundred percent sure that Chanyeol would agree, Baekhyun still prepares himself for rejection. 

Chanyeol grins, showing off his dimples, the pretty crinkles in the corners of his eyes and Baekhyun thinks the sun is right to hide behind the cover of darkness because everyone would see Chanyeol’s smile and know that the sun will never be able to provide them that kind of light, that kind of warmth. 

“If you insist,” he teases and Baekhyun rolls his eyes playfully, happy, elated. 

It was a bit awkward at first, moving about and figuring out how and where to place hands and legs while having a good view of the movie. 

After a moon’s breath or two, Baekhyun finds his back being pressed against Chanyeol’s steady, broad chest, legs in between Chanyeol’s long ones. Chanyeol takes the liberty of gently placing his chin on Baekhyun’s shoulder. 

“Is this okay?” He whispers, glancing up at Baekhyun. 

“Yeah,” Baekhyun tells him, heart stumbling, breaking it’s poor little legs and he breathes in Chanyeol’s scent, his presence, his quiet strength 

and he realizes that they’re close enough to kiss, close enough to brush their lips together like the moon and sun as they pass each other every dusk and dawn.

Chanyeol glances at Baekhyun’s lips for a second, for a brief moment in time and Baekhyun doesn’t quite remember swallowing the handful of galaxies swirling in his stomach. 

Baekhyun parts his lips, an action he didn’t know he had done until he saw Chanyeol clench his jaw, sees his eyes darken a bit 

and Baekhyun really thinks Chanyeol is about to kiss him. 

The alpha looks away, stares straight ahead and says,”The movie’s already started.”

Baekhyun forces himself to look forward, unable to take in the moving images because every pore in his body is filled with disappointment. 

The next morning, Baekhyun wakes up to the ghost feeling of Chanyeol’s touch from the night before. 

He lays on the bed curled on his side, facing the wall he shares with Chanyeol. 

Even though Baekhyun has rather exceptional hearing, he can’t hear anything from Chanyeol’s room, the walls are thick. He isn’t trying to intentionally catch something, he just… misses him. 

Baekhyun sighs, flopping onto his back, the sheets tangling in between his legs. 

Chanyeol’s probably asleep, Baekhyun thinks, disappointed. 

It’s both scary and comforting how easily he’s gotten used to Chanyeol, started to have the urge to fill all of the seconds, the minutes and the hours with everything that makes up the alpha, his smiles, his pretty eyes, the manner in which his face brightens up everytime he sees Baekhyun. 

And yet, it’s scary. 

Being so attached to someone in the span of a week. Feeling his soul yearning for the brief touch of Chanyeol’s attention after only a handful of moon phases. 

Baekhyun knows it’s not a baseless feeling, Chanyeol is his mate after all. He knows his wolf is more than willing to give themselves over to him, but it’s not just his wolf. 

It’s starting to become more than instincts, more than just the primal need to bond . 

Baekhyun doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t— doesn’t know how to approach this, his mind is telling him there isn’t anything to approach, that he should grow a pair and tell Chanyeol about how his heart won’t stop sighing. 

But what if Baekhyun is moving too fast? What if he doesn’t really like Chanyeol, what if he’s only reacting to Chanyeol’s obvious affection?

Baekhyun knows that's bullshit. The constant tornadoes, the never ending dances of the rose petals on his cheeks as his heart convulses from feeling so much— is all him. It’s all Baekhyun. 

But it’s easier denying it, easier to push it aside. 

A knock on Baekhyun’s door breaks the grey clouds that have settled above him. 

“Yes?” Baekhyun calls out, sitting up quickly, running a hand through his hair at a poor attempt at smoothing it down. 

The bedroom door opens and Chanyeol peaks in, half of his body leaning against the door.

“Hey,” He says, a familiar upside down rainbow on his face. “Did I wake you?”

“Nope,” Baekhyun says, unsure as to why his stupid heart is acting like the world is about to end. “I just woke up.”

He notices the light sheen of sweat on Chanyeol’s forehead, notices that he’s dressed in a dark tank top and sweats, hair messily pushed back and Baekhyun understands why his heart is determined to knock out his lungs. 

“Did you go out?” He asks, proud that his voice came out casual and unaffected. 

Chanyeol nods. “Just came back from a quick session at the gym, I’ve been lacking a little.”

“Oh,” Baekhyun says, realizing that it’s probably because of him, his arrival and sudden appearance in Chanyeol’s life. He tries not to feel down. 

“Did you eat? I can make something,” Baekhyun pushes away the covers, swinging his legs over the mattress.

“You don’t have to, love, I’ll take a quick shower and make something for the both of us,” Chanyeol says, raising his hands up in front of him. 

Baekhyun strings his eyebrows together. “It’s no trouble, go shower, I’ll be done in a sec—”

“No really, it’s alright,” Chanyeol insists. 

“Why do you keep insisting?” Baekhyun asks, curious. Does Chanyeol not like his cooking and he’s trying to be polite?

Baekhyun sees conflict in Chanyeol’s eyes and he straightens his posture, concerned. 

“What is it?” he asks again. 

Chanyeol steps into the room, leaving the door open. He immediately fills the room, with his presence, his very faint scent, reaching into the corners of Baekhyun’s existence. 

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to fulfill a certain role,” Chanyeol says softly, worrily. “Like you have to cook or clean or be a stereotypical omega. Not that there’s anything wrong with that but—” Chanyeol cuts himself off, meets Baekhyun’s eyes. “I want you to do what you want. Please don’t think that because you’re an omega you have to make food or—”

“I understand,” Baekhyun interrupts gently. 

He can see how Chanyeol had been struggling to portray his feelings, his concern of misunderstanding across. It’s touching and it stirs constellations and the affection Baekhyun has towards the alpha. 

He doesn’t quite know how to tell Chanyeol about the rising of warmth in his chest, doesn’t know if this is the right time to say God what did I do to deserve you? 

Maybe there was something in his expression, maybe the soft sighing of his heart wasn’t as quiet as he thought because Chanyeol offers Baekhyun a tender smile. 

“I’m glad,” Chanyeol says 

and then Baekhyun gets off his bed, adjusting his oversized t-shirt quickly before walking towards Chanyeol. 

“Now that that’s settled, go shower,” Baekhyun says, playfully pushing Chanyeol out into the hallway.

Having his hand pressed flush against Chanyeol’s bare muscular arm causes his heart to throb pathetically and there's a fluttering sensation in his abdomen. 

“I’m going, I’m going,” Chanyeol mutters, managing a crooked grin. 

Later, as Baekhyun cracks eggs into an oiled pan, he realizes he’s smiling. 

And he understands that he’s fallen a little deeper in love and it’s not as scary as he had made it out to be. 

“So what's on the agenda for today?” Baekhyun asks, placing his chopsticks on the side. 

“I was thinking we could get a prescription for your suppressants,” Chanyeol replies, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “And after, if you feel like it, we can meet up with Junmyeon and Sehun at the bowling alley.” 

He hesitates a bit, meets Baekhyun’s eyes. “I know my courting might not be like the ones done in your pack and it’s alright if you feel underwhelmed.”

Baekhyun shakes his head, “No Chanyeol, please don’t worry, I’m enjoying everything, really, I’m really happy.”

“But I just started,” Chanyeol replies, good natured and his dimple peaks for a moment. 

“Just being with you is more than enough,” Baekhyun tells Chanyeol, wanting him to feel a fraction of the constant storm brewing within him, wants to see if his words will convince Chanyeol to create a smile just for him. 

And Chanyeol does, he offers a shy, blooming grin and Baekhyun takes it gratefully, tucking it gently into his pocket. 

Baekhyun is waiting on the exam table, Chanyeol standing next to him, looking down, telling him about the time Sehun had to eat a shoe on a dare, when the doctor comes in. 

Baekhyun straightens his posture, anticipation on his skin. 

“Hello, I’m Dr. Kwan,” She says, meeting Baekhyun’s eyes. “You must be Baekhyun,”

“Yes, it’s nice to meet you.” Baekhyun tells her.

Dr. Kwan turns to Chanyeol, who is still standing next to Baekhyun. “And you are?”

“Park Chanyeol,” The alpha supplies.

“He’s my mate,” Baekhyun says, trying so hard to sound nonchalant that it almost doesn’t. Chanyeol glances at him, surprised and then happy. 

If he had been in wolf form, his tail would have probably been wagging uncontrollably. 

It’s endearing. Adorable. Makes Baekhyun bite down on the smile trying to take over his lips. 

The air of curiosity around Dr. Kwan dissipates as she continues, “You’re here for a scent suppressant prescription, is that correct?”

“Yes it is.”

“Wonderful,” She flips through the clipboard in her hands, “Alright then, I’ll ask a few questions regarding your health and we’ll do quick evaluations and you’ll be off.” She gives Chanyeol a smile, “If you could take a seat, this will only take a moment.”

Chanyeol nods and turns to the black, cushioned chair that’s against the wall. 

“So,” She addresses Baekhyun, pen hovering above the clipboard. “At what age did you present?”

“Nineteen.”

“And have you had any problems shifting or keeping control of your wolf?”

“No, I haven’t.” Baekhyun thinks for a bit. “I did struggle a bit during the Blue Moon but that’s a natural reaction right?” He can feel Chanyeol’s gaze.

Dr. Kwan nods. “Yes of course! The Moon Goddess’ pull is hard to defy. Just a couple of more questions and I’ll check your blood pressure and breathing.” She glances down at her charts. “Are you sexually active?” 

Baekhyun swallows down the burn trying to travel up his neck and ears. “No, I’m not.” 

It takes everything to not glance at Chanyeol and then for the first time, he wonders if Chanyeol  has ever had sex. The possibility of it doesn’t sit well in Baekhyun’s stomach. There’s nothing wrong with it but it still invokes unjustified jealousy. 

Dr. Kwan writes something down, head bowed, thankfully not a witness to Baekhyun’s embarrassment. 

“And how are your periods of heat? Are they regular, once every two to three months or irregular?”

“They’re regular,” Baekhyun informs her and he cannot challenge the warmth of his ears, the back of his neck, on his cheeks. 

He’s visited the Pack Healer, has had check ups but it’s more… intimate with Chanyeol, his mate around. He doesn’t know why, but it is. It’s not necessarily a bad thing if Baekhyun could get over his unwarranted embarrassment.  

“And when is your next heat, do you happen to know?”

“Um, in about two months.” From the corner of his eyes, Baekhyun sees Chanyeol avert his gaze to the floor. 

The room is filled with the sound of a pen scribbling on paper for a second. 

“Okay, so it is my understanding that the two of you had found each other from the most recent Blue Moon?” Dr. Kwan asks. 

Baekhyun nods, confused as to where this is going.

She looks up and glances at both Baekhyun and Chanyeol before settling on Baekhyun.

 “There is a very good chance that your heat will come earlier. It’s very common after a Blue Moon, it’s your body reacting to being mated,” Dr. Kwan glances at Baekhyun's bare neck before meeting his eyes again. 

“It’ll be like any normal heat, just earlier. The rest of your cycle should go back to normal afterwards.” She flips through the clipboard. “I see you selected ‘no’ on the question ‘are you taking any birth control?’. Would you also like a prescription for that as well?”

Baekhyun turns to look at Chanyeol. 

He doesn’t know how to go about this, they’re not even mated and the possibility of spending their heat and rut together is something that Baekhyun had been too afraid to think about. Of course he’s thought about how it would feel to have Chanyeol touch him and draw out his pleasure but those are thoughts. He hasn’t even admitted he’s attracted to Chanyeol, much less confesses his love for him. 

And the thought of having sex with Chanyeol, of giving himself up without knowing if it’ll mean the same to the alpha, is terrifying. He knows Chanyeol isn’t hiding his affections, but still, Baekhyun’s too careful, too worn to just hand himself over. 

Maybe it’s stupid, wanting his first time to be meaningful, wanting to know that Chanyeol absolutely loves him and would care for him. But Baekhyun knows that if he’s going to go all in, then Chanyeol has to as well. 

And in order for that to even be possible, Baekhyun has to admit his attraction, has to acknowledge the urgent want constantly seeping into his bones. But he lacks the courage to. 

Still, better safe than sorry. Baekhyun knows he isn’t ready for pups, despite the obvious excitement he had felt from Chanyeol the night of the Blue Moon. 

.

“Do whatever you wish, love.” Chanyeol tells him, dark hair framing his face. 

Baekhyun faces Dr. Kwan again. “I would like a birth control prescription as well, please.”

After the physical exams, Dr. Kwan tells Baekhyun about how to take the pills and any possible side effects.

“The scent suppressants will last up to twenty-four hours and so it is necessary to take them once a day at the same time. If you’re off by a few minutes that’s alright.” She says as her pen dances in the air.

“Possible side effects will be listed on the label and please remember to get off of them about a week before your heat.” Dr. Kwan looks up for a moment. “If you find out you are carrying, a new prescription will be required.” 

She rips off the bottom half of the sheet of paper and hands it to Baekhyun.

“Now for the birth control, you only have to take it once a month, at the same, consistent date and time.” The pen twirls. “During heat, you do not need to take it but rest assured, the effects pill will still work but do keep in mind that there is still a .01% that it will not.”

Dr. Kwan rips off another piece of paper and hands the same one to Baekhyun. 

“And that’s it! If you have any questions or concerns don’t hesitate to reach out.”

“I will, thank you so much.” Baekhyun replies, wondering if it has been a mistake requesting birth control. 

He doubts it’ll be necessary, doubts he’ll grow a pair and admit to himself that he’s falling for Chanyeol. 

And despite having ridiculed Chanyeol for being willing to fall in love in so little time, Baekhyun is starting to think that Chanyeol isn’t alone. 

“Ha! Kiss my ass Chanyeol!” Sehun yells out, a grin on his face, hands up in the air in triumph. 

Baekhyun laughs at Chanyeol’s confused face. All of the bowling pins are down, evidence of Sehun’s win. 

“How are you so good at this?” Chanyeol asks, handing over twenty dollars to Sehun. 

“You just suck,” Sehun reasons cheekily. “Wanna go again?” 

“And lose more money? I don’t think so.” Chanyeol shakes his head. 

“Sore loser.” 

Sehun walks back to the plastic seats Baekhyun and Junmyeon are sitting at. He plops next to Junmyeon, placing his chin on his shoulder. He grins at Baekhyun. 

“So, what do you think?”

“It’s fun!” Baekhyun replies honestly, feeling the need to speak louder due to the loud music and the chatter of those around them. The dim lights aren’t a problem thankfully.

He feels Chanyeol settling next to him, feels the respectable distance between them, about the size of a galaxy. His heart is pinning for Chanyeol, and his wolf is longing for the Alpha to come closer, to feel the press of Chanyeol’s strong, broad chest against his back. 

It’s not just Baekhyun’s inner wolf who wants it. 

“You’ve only bowled twice!” Sehun shouts, perhaps a little bit wasted from the handful of alcoholic drinks on the table in front of them. “And you’ve barely drank, I think you’re lying,” he pouts. 

“And I think you’re drunk,” Chanyeol replies, deep voice settling pleasantly upon Baekhyun’s shoulder, burning , if only slightly. 

“Hmm maybe,” Sehun replies. He turns to Junmyeon. “Baby, am I drunk?” 

“I don’t know, are you?” Junmyeon asks playfully, obviously willing to entertain his mate. 

Baekhyun is ripped away from the scene in front of him when he feels Chanyeol’s hand on his arm. He turns to him. 

“Sehun’s right, you haven’t bowled much,” Chanyeol tells him, voice warm and gentle. 

Baekhyun tries very hard to not whimper. Having Chanyeol so close to him, looking so, so attractive and hot, his heavy, faint scent stroking his face– he needs a moment or two. 

“I’m just not used to it,” Baekhyun breathes out, throat clenching. 

Chanyeol’s eyes meet Baekhyun’s, a brief eclipse, lit with fondness. “I can teach you.”

“I’d like that.”

With lips pulled into a grin, Chanyeol takes Baekhyun’s hand and leads him to the bowling line. The hand holding is unnecessary, but Baekhyun enjoys it, loves the contrast between their hands, loves being able to feel Chanyeol and know that he is real. 

“Choose a bowling ball that fits around your fingers and isn’t too heavy,” Chanyeol tells him, sliding his hands out of Baekhyun’s. 

Baekhyun would rather hold Chanyeol’s hand than a metal ball but he goes ahead and choses a yellow ball with “11” etched into it. He slides his fingers into the holes, feeling it to be comfortable enough so he approaches the foul line. Chanyeol tails after him. 

Baekhyun tunes out the background noise of people talking and balls hitting bowling pins although it’s not that hard when he can feel Chanyeol standing behind him, height allowing him to hover over Baekhyun, strong, comforting presence engulfing Baekhyun. 

“What now?” Baekhyun asks, a pitiful effort in trying to break the strange tension that has built up within him. 

Chanyeol places himself next to Baekhyun, facing him. “Straighten your back and square your shoulders toward the target.”

Baekhyun rolls back his shoulders. “Like this?”

“Yeah,” Chanyeol flashes a smile and there’s a jolt within Baekhyun’s chest. “Now you’re going to want to slide with your dominant foot while swinging your hand with the ball.”

Chanyeol then proceeds to show Chanyeol the action, slowly and carefully. Baekhyun’s eyes easily catch the flow of Chanyeol’s body, the complete control, the strain in his muscles visible underneath his thin t-shirt. 

He’s so hot, Baekhyun thinks. 

“Should I show you again?” Chanyeol asks, facing Baekhyun once again. 

Yes, Baekhyun wants to say, wants to run his fingers through Chanyeol’s hair and maybe kiss him but instead he says, “No, I’m good.” because those types of thoughts, those types of urges scare him. 

“Alright,” Chanyeol’s crooked smile finds a home in Baekhyun’s heart. 

Baekhyun tears his eyes away from the sun and he takes in a breath, taking a few steps back. He approaches the foul line, steps steady but hesitates at the end and so, when he lets go of the ball, his aim is off. 

The ball slides through the alley at an angle, falling into the gutter barely halfway across the distance. 

“Ugh,” Baekhyun mumbles, glancing at Chanyeol. “My aim is horrible.” 

“It just takes practice, love, you’ll do fine after a couple of tries.” Chanyeol says as he picks up another ball. 

Baekhyun takes it wordlessly. He goes back to the original distance as before and approaches the foul line more confidently and doesn’t hesitate at letting go of the ball. However, the ball falls into the gutter, Sehun laughs and there’s embarrassment raking at his stomach. 

“Ignore him,” Chanyeol says, yellow bowling ball in hand, “He’s drunk.”

“I would laugh too,” Baekhyun replies, not really caring about his failure. 

He is more in tune with what Chanyeol is doing, which is approaching him, standing really close, close enough that his scent would have been flourishing in Baekhyun’s lungs if he wasn’t on suppressants. 

“Can I touch you?” Chanyeol asks him. 

“Of course,” Baekhyun replies immediately, butterflies nearly suffocating him. 

“The problem was your stance,” Chanyeol says. 

He stands behind Baekhyun, big hands on Baekhyun’s shoulders, pushing them down slightly. His hands leave Baekhyun’s body relatively quickly but they brush against Baekhyun's lower back. 

Baekhyun breathes in heat and daffodils. 

“When you walk, try to end with your left leg bent a little,” Chanyeol continues, either unaware of the tension between them, or he’s purposely ignoring it. 

It’s probably the second one, Baekhyun thinks, bending his leg.

There’s a rush of disappointment and then a rush of guilt because he shouldn’t be feeling this way. Wasn’t it him who had said he needed time? If anything, Chanyeol is trying to respect that, trying to give Baekhyun space. 

And Baekhyun can appreciate it but—

“Yes exactly like that!” Chanyeol exclaims excitedly. “Just keep the same posture and you’ll get a strike, I’m sure of it,”

“And if I don’t?”

“Then I’ll get you something,” Dimples grin at Baekhyun. “What would you like?”

You. 

The thought startles Baekhyun, it’s alarming for the simple reason that it’s true. He doesn’t just want to feel Chanyeol and kiss him or sleep with him, he wants Chanyeol’s heart, wants to be allowed into Chanyeol’s mind, his thoughts, his dreams–

But it’s too soon. 

“A movie night would be nice,” Baekhyun says softly. 

“Good luck,” Chanyeol tells him. 

Exhaling flower petals that tremble in the air, Baekhyun takes steps forward, remembering what Chanyeol had said about angle, aim and his posture. He releases the ball, right leg bent behind him. He straightens up as soon as the bowling ball starts rolling and with baited breath, watches as it hits the bowling pins. Strike. 

“YES!” Baekhyun shouts at the same time Chanyeol yells, “You did it!”

And before he can convince himself otherwise, Baekhyun turns around and hugs Chanyeol. 

Chanyeol wraps his strong arms around Baekhyun with no hesitation, holding him against his warm body firmly and he pulls back and he’s smiling down, happy and Baekhyun wants to mesh his beating heart with Chanyeol’s, wants to press his own smile into the Alpha’s bare skin. 

Getting a strike didn’t mean that much to Baekhyun but it gave him a reason to cling onto Chanyeol for almost a minute, hands splayed against the broad back, heart beating disastrously in the background. 

After Junmyeon waved goodbye and drove off with a drunk Sehun buckled up in the passenger seat, Chanyeol drove Baekhyun home. 

It’s easy now, calling the apartment home, calling it theirs. 

It’s also easier reaching over the console and interlacing his hands with Chanyeol’s, heart fluttering, the soundness of feeling their hands pressed together kept Baekhyun from floating into the stars outside. 

“There’s something different with you tonight,” Chanyeol comments in the elevator, hand still clasping Baekhyun’s gently. 

“Is that a bad thing?” Baekhyun asks, scared that Chanyeol had caught up on his feelings. He barely wants to acknowledge them, much less ready to confess in some sort of way. 

“No,” Chanyeol says deeply, fondly. “You seem happier.” 

After brushing his teeth and washing his face, Baekhyun struggles to gather his courage together. 

There’s something he wants to talk about with Chanyeol. He wants to talk about his heat. 

Heart pounding, Baekhyun knocks on Chanyeol’s bedroom door. 

Chanyeol’s deep voice invites him in immediately and he twists the door numb, pushing the door as his heart pushes his lungs away. 

His eyes dart around Chanyeol’s room, this is the first time he’s seen it.

It’s both clean and messy, messy in a way that shows someone lives here. The walls are white, just like Baekhyun’s but Chanyeol has a full instead of a twin and his room has dark curtains instead of blinds. There are some miscellaneous things on his drawer and bookshelf, some pictures and a diploma framed. 

It looks normal and it smells divine. 

“Hey,” Chanyeol says, sitting on his bed, dressed in shorts and an old t-shirt.  

“Hey,” Baekhyun breathes. “Do you think we can talk for a bit?”

Chanyeol’s scent suppressant must be wearing off, each breath Baekhyun takes is filled with the Alpha’s heavy, rich scent, burning his throat as he finds himself gasping for more more more more–

“Of course.” Chanyeol strings his eyebrows together, hair floppy on his forehead. “Is there something wrong?”

“No, I think we should talk about my—” Baekhyun avoids Chanyeol’s gaze. “my heat.”

“Oh.” Chanyeol says quietly. Nervous or maybe that’s Baekhyun projecting. “Would you like to sit?”

Baekhyun nods, gravitating towards Chanyeol, feeling the ever present pull, the urge to be near Chanyeol, to be close, to share oxygen and get lost in his lungs. 

He sits on the bed, tucking his legs underneath himself and Chanyeol shares the same action, leaning his arms against his thighs, eyes earnest. 

“I didn’t know my heat would come earlier,” Baekhyun starts, playing with his fingers, avoiding Chanyeol’s gaze. “And I feel like we should talk about it and about— about what to expect when it hits.”

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol says, chest rumbling from the deepness of his voice. “I don’t expect anything, even when my rut comes, I won’t ever pressure you to do anything.”

“I know,” Baekhyun says softly. “I trust you Chanyeol, I really do but what about your wolf? What about mine? ”

There’s a moment of silence, a string of time. 

Chanyeol breaks it. 

“I understand. I could leave when the time comes?” He offers. “I could go to my parents home.”

Baekhyun bites down on his bottom lip. “Would that be okay?”

“Of course, whatever makes you more comfortable, love,” And then Chanyeol takes a tight breath, strong chest heaving underneath the thin material of his shirt. “You’re the most important person to me, you’ll always be my priority.”

Baekhyun swallows, he breathes, he tries to keep his bones from snapping and he wonders if Chanyeol understands the effects of his words, if he understands what he’s doing to Baekhyun’s poor heart. 

Chanyeol smiles nervously, looks away for a second, soft and shy, so so endearing. 

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to… to take some of your clothing when I leave.” There’s a flush on his cheeks, on the tips of his ears, a shy red. 

And then he looks up, meets Baekhyun’s eyes as he quickly adds, “Sorry if it’s weird or— I meant like a shirt or a hoodie maybe? Um— it’s for when I’m in rut, I heard it’s hard being away from your mate and your scent should make it bearable, shit I sound like I’m trying to guilt trip you, I swear that’s not–”

“It’s okay,” Baekhyun says, smiling at Chanyeol’s struggle, finding it both amusing and adorable. Seeing Chanyeol become flustered is nice, cute even. “And I was going to ask if I could raid your closet anyway. For nesting,” Baekhyun explains, feeling the annoying swirl of rose petals in his stomach, his Alpha’s scent causing his head to spin.

“Oh, would you like something for now?” Chanyeol asks, flush growing faint, dying.  

Baekhyun feels his face grow warm and he wonders about how easily Chanyeol says things like that. 

He wants to say yes , it’s on the tip of his tongue, twirling, pleading almost but that’s too bold, too forward, especially considering the fact that Baekhyun never wanted to like Chanyeol in the first place, much less fall for him. 

Is that what I’m doing? Baekhyun thinks, alarmed almost. Am I actually falling in love with him?

But how? Isn’t— isn’t it supposed to take longer? No, it’s just his instincts, it’s his wolf . 

The nervous smile is back on Chanyeol’s face, although it’s a bit strained this time. “Sorry, I’m being too forward, aren’t I?”

Baekhyun doesn’t understand why there’s a heavy feeling in his stomach. He finds that he doesn’t like that smile, doesn’t like the way his Alpha looks insecure. And Baekhyun also doesn’t like how easy it had been to think of Chanyeol as his alpha. 

Or maybe he did. He doesn’t know , his thoughts are being jumbled all together, everything— his feelings are making it more and more difficult to think properly, to be cool and collected, god, it’s so hard to breath nowadays without thinking about Chanyeol Chanyeol Chanyeol his scent, his boyish smile, his body—

“Baek?” Chanyeol asks softly. 

“Sorry— ” Baekhyun whispers, voice strangled. He chews on his lip for a moment, almost misses the way Chanyeol catches the action, eyes flickering dark and Baekhyun can feel Chanyeol's scent become more dominant. 

I need to leave, Baekhyun thinks.

He needs to go before he does something stupid like mold his lips against Chanyeol’s and giving life to the heavy surge of yearning he’s been feeling for days now. 

When he speaks again, this time with a more steady tone, “Thanks for offering but I’ll just wait until my heat hits.”

Baekhyun smiles as an effort to ease Chanyeol but he’s too distracted by the painful echoing of his heart, demanding to be heard, to be voiced out.

He doesn’t see Chanyeol’s expression falling because he turns around half way while the excuse, “I’m going to sleep now,” tumbles from his lips. 

“Good night, sweetheart.” Chanyeol replies, voice so warm and deep that it melts all of Baekhyun’s insides. 

“Night,” Baekhyun mumbles, feeling odd for some reason. 

Baekhyun lays on the soft mattress, sinking into the material, the feeling of dread pinning him down on his cot. His hands clench on the comforter wrapped around him, struggling to remember where this great feeling of penitence came from.

He knows how to count time, is familiar with its constant movement around him and yet, why does it feel like an eternity has passed since he left Chanyeol’s room? 

Baekhyun strains to hear what’s happening on the other side of the wall he’s facing. He knows it’s useless and with a defeated sigh he turns to his back, staring up at the ceiling. The dark does nothing to hinder his sight and yet why does he feel so blind when it comes to his feelings?

“What’s wrong with me?” He whispers, feeling as though he has to voice his thoughts before they suffocate his nervous system. 

There’s this longing, this need to go back to Chanyeol’s room, to crawl into his bed and press close to his chest, close enough to merge their heartbeats. It’s always been there, become a constant in Baekhyun’s life but why does it feel more intense? Why does it feel like if he isn't held by Chanyeol soon, he’s going to cry ?

Is it because my heat is coming soon? Baekhyun thinks, heart spiking. 

Maybe. It’s plausible. 

Or maybe, he thinks, it’s because I might love him. 

Baekhyun pauses.

Takes a moment to lay there, to take in the different shades of darkness, the air settling on his cheek bones, the silhouette of oxygen on his lips. He takes a moment to think, instead of running, allows himself a handful of moving space to process the reverberation of his heart. 

And he finds that he can’t find it within himself to deny it. To act shocked. 

It’s as if he’s known for a while now, known that he’s falling for Chanyeol, has already fallen for him, right through the fucking ground, maybe since the first time they locked eyes or the moment they held hands the exact moment doesn’t matter because he’s in love with Chanyeol. 

Baekhyun loves him. 

He clenches his jaw. 

There’s pride blooming violently within him. 

It’s too soon, too easy, no, it’s not love, he just thinks it is. 

Baekhyun has never been in love, how can he even know what love is? He’s never seen it, never touched it.  

Ater everything, after all the pain, all the defiance and the hardness, the years of refusing to be mated, shouldn’t it have been harder? It’s not that Baekhyun wants to suffer but it feels too good to be true, as if—

As if he doesn’t deserve to be happy so easily, to fall in love so quickly. 

Anger replaces the pride and for some stupid stupid reason Baekhyun wants to cry because how fucked up is he to think he doesn’t deserve this? That he has to suffer before falling in love? 

Baekhyun swallows, swallows down the ocean lodged in his throat, trying to flood the stirring butterflies in his stomach. 

He should just wait until tomorrow, wait for another day to think about this, maybe he just needs more time, more experience… 

God I’m an idiot, Baekhyun thinks, pushing the comforter off his body, sliding across the bed to sit on the edge. 

He takes a few breathes, clutching them in between his slender fingers tightly, like a lifeline. 

It’s no use coming up with excuses, not when it’s so obvious how he feels about Chanyeol and maybe it’s not love but–

Fuck it feels like it. 

Baekhyun feels like he can do anything, be anything, he feels like the world is toppling over every time he’s around Chanyeol, like every nerve in his body is pulsating, aching, almost offended whenever a grain of space manages to wedge itself in between them.

He thinks love would pale in comparison to this feeling throbbing through his bones.  

“Hey,” Chanyeol says as soon as he opens the door. He’s wearing concern on his attractive features, along with the same loose t-shirt and shorts as last time. “Is something wrong?”

Baekhyun struggles to remember what oxygen tastes like, his heart flailing nervously, anxiously. 

“I can’t sleep,” He manages to say. “So I was wondering if I could take one of your hoodies? It might make it easier for me.”

There’s an unreadable stirring within Chanyeol’s eyes, his scent becoming a little bit heavier, a little bit overwhelming. 

“Okay, come choose one.” He says, voice so deep and soft it threatens to drive Baekhyun insane. 

Chanyeol leads Baekhyun inside, and his heavy scent hits so hard that Baekhyun clenches his hands, as if that will keep him from floating away because of the light feeling in his chest. Every breath he takes fills him, stuffing him with this undeniable alpha scent. 

The scent suppressants are clearly wearing off

“I have a lot, pick whichever ones you’d like” Chanyeol says, opening his closet, facing Baekhyun with a reassuring smile. 

Baekhyun wants to taste it. 

He pretends to look at the hoodies, tries to focus on them but it’s so hard to focus on anything other than this endless, infinite affection he has for the man standing next to him. He chews on his bottom lip, trying to think of something to say and it’s hard when his ears are ringing from his heart beats. 

Do I just say it? Baekhyun thinks, grabbing the sleeve of a hoodie and running his fingers against the material. 

“Just take it,” Chanyeol says, interrupting Baekhyun's thoughts.

“I can’t decide, I’ll just take all of them,” Baekhyun says playfully, a nervous joke if anything.

“Take them,” Chanyeol says sincerely, serious even. “Take whatever you’d like.”

“Just one for now,” Baekhyun replies, bashful, moved by the obvious display of Chanyeol’s fondness, of his want to provide, to give.

Baekhyun gently slides the hoodie off the hanger, trying to stall, trying to think of another excuse to stay. 

“When do you want it back?” He asks, awkward and cringing internally. Couldn’t he have thought of something else to say?

“Keep it,” Chanyeol says easily, a whisper of a smile on his face, so so charming, so warm. “You’re my mate, I’m more than happy to give you anything of mine.”

Baekhyun stills. His lungs clench and his heart feels like it’s being squeezed too hard. 

He had been so overcomed by his feelings, and now all he can feel is coldness grazing it’s fingertips against his cheek. 

What if Chanyeol doesn’t really feel for him. What if he’s just acting like this because he feels like he has to, because his wolf sees Baekhyun as his mate, as someone to be responsible over. 

There is hurt surrounding Baekhyun, it’s all he feels, mockingly tracing his silhouette, filling him up, he’s bathed in it. There’s a tightness to his chest, his throat and it is with a strained voice that Baekhyun tells Chanyeol that he has to go now, I’m tired, I should— I should rest… 

He turns around, carefully, scared that any starling movement, any breath would cause his bones to collapse on the floor, into a pathetic pile. 

“Baekhyun, wait,” Chanyeol calls out, voice deep and worried. 

Worried over what? Baekhyun wonders, turning around, designing a small smile that he hopes drowns the festering wound in his heart. 

“What is it?”

“I’m sorry,” Chanyeol breathes out, “for making up reasons for you to stick around and if I ever… made you feel like you had to. And for flirting and coming on to you, ”

“I… don’t understand,” Baekhyun says, completely facing Chanyeol now, the hurt he had once felt replaced with pure confusion. He’s never felt uncomfortable around Chanyeol so he can’t fathom where this sudden apology is coming from.

“I want to spend more time with you.” Chanyeol tells him, firmly, voice so, so deep and nervous.  “And I understand this might be selfish but I want you to care for me.”

“I do care for you,” Baekhyun utters, suddenly struggling to remember his lungs are supposed to work. 

Chanyeol looks away and smiles a sad smile. “I know, Baek. But not the way someone cares for their mate.” 

“No Chanyeol–” Baekhyun fumbles over his words, trips over them, the feeling of over the thousand suns exploding in his chest is making his entire body shaky, he doesn’t know how to explain himself, how to describe the feeling of fraying apart, “I don’t think you understand—”

“It’s okay,” Chanyeol tells him, his voice soft and deep, encouraging the chaos within Baekhyun. Their eyes meet again. “You don’t have to force yourself or— or say what you think I want to hear. I’m not mad . I’m just a little bit… sad.” 

Chanyeol’s gaze becomes heavy with such extraordinary hollowness that Baekhyun isn’t quite sure why he hasn’t cracked under the weight of it. He hates it. 

He wants to kiss it away. 

Chanyeol tightens his jaw and he looks away once more, “I shouldn’t be saying that— and I shouldn’t say this but god, I need to tell you. At least once.” 

He meets Baekhyun's gaze, intense with the swirling galaxy of emotions in his eyes. “I love you, Baekhyun. Not just because you’re my mate, I know it may seem like that and maybe it’s too early to say it but— I love you.” He smiles, a string of constellations juxtaposed with relief and worry. 

Baekhyun feels his heart is pounding so hard he’s surprised it’s not bleeding. 

“You’re in love with me?” He gasps.

“Yes,” Chanyeol looks like he wants to pull Baekhyun close, wants to merge the lines of their bodies together but he’s scared to do so, scared to open his lips, scared to speak, Baekhyun can see it. 

“I care about you, I want to know everything, your thoughts, feelings, I want—” The Alpha’s chest rises and sets heavily, imitating the sun and the moon, evidence of how overcomed he’s become. “I want you so much. ”

Baekhyun wants to say something but he thinks his hands are shaking and his heart is trembling and so will his voice if he speaks. He’s so stunned in relief, in this incredible alleviation. 

The silence stretches across the room, across the handful of stars in between them but Baekhyun is numb to it, drowning in this soft, thrilling warm waves that has enveloped his entire existence. 

“Sorry,” Chanyeol utters, low and faint, the heat in his eyes shifting. “I’m going too fast aren’t I? Fuck, I just ruined everything—”

“No you didn’t,” Baekhyun says firmly and intensely, eager to voice his feelings. “I-I want you too.”

“Really?” Chanyeol asks surprised, incredulous.

“Yes,” Baekhyun breathes out, voice catching as he falls apart. “I want you so much and— and I think I love you, I really think I do.”

The Alpha inhales sharply, looking as if he wants to memorize exactly what he’s feeling right now and he reaches out and touches Baekhyun tenderly, softly. 

Baekhyun all but falls into Chanyeol’s arms, breathing in, feeling his strength, the intensity of feeling their skin brush. There is a soundness in Chanyeol’s embrace, in the manner in which he holds Baekhyun’s waist with his big hands. 

Baekhyun smiles, he grins a relieved, ecstatic smile and then his face is being pushed against Chanyeol’s firm shoulder, into the crevice of his neck. He can feel the side of Chanyeol’s face brushing his own, can feel the wide, crooked smile. 

Baekhyun allows himself to be pressed against Chanyeol, even dares to breathe in his alpha’s scent, his adoration, his strength. 

The suppressants are barely lingering, barely of consequence and each inhale is so so heavy, reaches so painfully deep within Baekhyun that he’s overwhelmed and in a daze he presses his lips against the taunt golden skin there, parts his lips, swiping his tongue against the perfect place to bite into and Baekhyun finds himself mouthing that spot, obsessed, tasting Chanyeol over and over again, dying and bring brought back to life, all in one breath, all in each press of his lips—

“Baekhyun—”  

So, so deep. Voice so devastatingly smooth and captivating. 

There are fingers sliding into Baekhyun’s hair, firm and gentle as they pull the omega away. 

Two pairs of hazy eyes meet each other, Chanyeol looking so striking, looking as if he’s holding himself back. It takes Baekhyun a moment to realize what he had been doing, to realize the implication of his actions and he can’t bring himself to care. 

Not right now, not ever because he knows what he wants, he wants Chanyeol now, he wants to bite into the taunt, wet skin and he wants to be bitten and then—

And then he wants to be pressed into the curve of Chanyeol’s body and he wants to be broken open, wants to feel those warm, big hands on him, pressing hot summer days into his skin. 

Chanyeol wants it too. 

Baekhyun can see it in his eyes, in the strain of his eyebrows, knows by the way his breathing has become shallow. 

“We should wait, love,” The alpha mutters, heavy eyes flickering down to Baekhyun’s lips. 

Chanyeol’s right, after marking each other, the urge to mate would overcome them. Baekhyun’s heart picks itself up from the thought of being taken but he could get pregnant. He knows… he knows if it were to happen Chanyeol would be over the moon but for now, Baekhyun just wants to love him. 

“Okay,” Baekhyun exhales, daring to press closer to Chanyeol, feeling warm, firm hands on his face now, thumbs caressing his cheekbones. He smiles a small smile as he takes in Chanyeol’s expression, takes in the tenderness in his eyes, the pretty slope of his nose and lips. 

“Chanyeol?”

“Hmm?”

“Can you kiss me?” Baekhyun asks, trying to sound brave and bold but he’s nervous, worried about his inexperience but fuck he really, really wants it. 

He wants everything Chanyeol is willing to give him, his smiles, his touches, his heart— Baekhyun wants all of it. 

Chanyeol’s chest rises harshly for a moment or two, eyes glazed, stuck on Baekhyun’s lips and a thumb gently moves to press on his bottom lip. 

“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” Baekhyun manages to say quietly, a mechanism of his perhaps, driven by insecurity. 

“Of course I want to,” Chanyeol tells him, voice rich with restrained emotion.

“Good,” Baekhyun replies with a smile, a grin so wide he feels a slight strain on his muscles but he doesn’t care for it, intoxicated by the feeling of pride blooming in his chest. His alpha wants him. 

Chanyeol leans in then, gently, slowly, giving Baekhyun more than enough time and space to move away but Baekhyun has no intention of doing that, he never wants to run away again. 

Impatient, Baekhyun leans in too, hands splayed against Chanyeol’s clothed back. He closes his eyes and feels the gentle press of silky, full lips. 

The flutter in his chest comes worse as he tries to move his lips against Chanyeol’s, tries keeping up with the slow, sensual movements but he finds himself getting lost in this endless and profound sea of desire and want, bones being ignited. 

Chanyeol works his mouth against Baekhyun’s softly, so, so soft, the feeling of clouds touching the sky, the sun caressing the moon, gently, lovingly, reassuringly and yet Baekhyun can’t ignore the embarrassed heat rushing up his neck, embarrassed by his clear lack of experience. 

Chanyeol pulls away and Baekhyun fights the urge to chase after him. 

“Breathe.” Chanyeol whispers, his words and scent fanning over Baekhyun’s face. 

Baekhyun inhales rather sharply and it’s startling, the immediate relief he feels within his lungs. He realizes he must have been holding his breath and he’s embarrassed all over again, feeling lost and he still wants to keep kissing, wants to pull Chanyeol down but he finds himself hesitating.

“What’s wrong?” Chanyeol must have noticed.

“Nothing,” Baekhyun says immediately. “I’m just…” he resists the urge to shy away from his mates intense and tender gaze. “I’m just a little bit nervous, that’s all.”

Chanyeol hums lowly, still holding Baekhyun’s face with pure affection. 

“I’ve never kissed anyone before,” Baekhyun whispers, body, brain, soul reacting to being so damn close to the man he loves dearly. 

Chanyeol’s eyebrows rise. “Really?” 

Baekhyun doesn’t know why his face becomes warmer. “Yeah.”

Chanyeol presses his thumb against Baekhyun’s lip again, it’s weight heavy with fondness and want, making the omega’s heart quiver. “You’re so beautiful, so incredible, how could no one want you?”

“I never had time to think about stuff like that,” Baekhyun whispers back, struggling to keep from melting into the earth. 

“I feel like I have to let you know that I slept around a lot before,” Chanyeol tells him, ashamed, no longer holding Baekhyun’s eyes, thumb back on his chin. “It was after I presented and I don’t know, my hormones were all over the place and I’m sorry.”

“Why? It’s in the past Chanyeol, it’s alright, it doesn’t matter to me.” 

And Baekhyun means it, despite the slight jealousy he feels clutching his spine. It’s irrational, unwarranted, they didn’t even know each other back then but Baekhyun supposes it’s a natural reaction. Still, he can’t help but hate the fact that he had felt it. 

“But I still feel like I have to apologize for it,” Chanyeol says, tortured. “I feel like I don’t deserve you.”

“That’s bullshit,” Baekhyun responds immediately. “Besides, if anyone should be embarrassed it’s me, I’m a twenty-four year old hag.”

That gets a light chuckle out of Chanyeol despite the joke being a little flat but Baekhyun much prefers that than the odd, guilty expression from earlier. 

Chanyeol dips down and kisses Baekhyun, offers a soft, short kiss that Baekhyun eagerly accepts. It’s over much too soon and with a rush of fervor Baekhyun tiptoes and places his hands on broad shoulders, pulling Chanyeol closer, bringing their lips so close that not even oxygen can pass through.

Baekhyun tries to work his lips against Chanyeol’s, pleased when Chanyeol responds back with the same amount of want, responds with taking in Baekhyun’s bottom lip in between his own and sucking on it, even swiping his tongue on the skin, nipping teasingly, god the minimal display of dominance has Baekhyun’s toes curling, has his head spinning into a supernova, he wants more more more

Chanyeol pulls away slightly, leaving behind a wet, swollen mess of Baekhyun’s bottom lip. There’s a swell of satisfaction in the Alpha’s scent and Baekhyun’s breath stutters from this uncontrollable want that is suffocating him. 

“Please,” Baekhyun gasps, “don’t stop kissing me.”

And Chanyeol doesn’t. 

He dips down again and again and again, taking from Baekhyun, lips working gently and tenderly, tongues meeting, twisting, running alongside the roof of Baekhyun’s mouth, shoving down a wanting so intense that it burns as it travels down Baekhyun’s throat, setting fire to his insides. 

At one point, Baekhyun feels the soft press of mattress on his back but he doesn’t care about it because all he knows now is Chanyeol Chanyeol Chanyeol, his taste, his firm hands pressing against Baekhyun’s hips as they lay next to each other, lips still pressed, still lingering, refusing to part from each other. 

Now that Baekhyun has had a taste he’s desperate to memorize it, desperate to never, ever forget the electric charge between them, the absolutely lovely feeling of being touched, of being worked open. It’s getting harder to breathe, harder to keep his hands to himself, god it’s so hard to refrain from touching but he can’t help it.

Baekhyun’s hands take it upon themselves to conquer the Alpha’s body, pressing along the taunt muscles, feeling their strength from underneath clothing that he is too scared to reach under. His hands go down to Chanyeol’s waist as far as possible and then they travel upwards again, reconquering it’s territory, fingers lingering on Chanyeol’s neck, tracing his jawline, pressing the sun into his skin.

Baekhyun pulls back, chest heaving, breathing so shallow that not even time can swim in it.  There’s a stirring in his lower abdomen, an extraordinary vulnerability in his bones. 

Chanyeol looks disheveled, hair standing up, broad chest rising and falling so fast the moon outside grows jealous and he’s so stunningly handsome that Baekhyun’s heart physically hurts. He’s looking at Baekhyun like he’s lost his mind, like he’s found something that he can’t walk away from. 

“Yeol,” Baekhyun whispers, “can you touch me?” 

He doesn’t quite know where the nickname came from, more focused on Chanyeol’s reaction. 

Chanyeol inhales shakily and his deep voice catches as he says, “Okay. ”

He kisses Baekhyun again, lips soft against Baekhyun’s swollen ones and there’s a heavy, warm feeling within Baekhyun’s chest, as if pieces of the sky have fallen on top of him. 

When Chanyeol pulls back, he leaves behind a burning, painful reminder of his kisses and then he’s hovering on top of Baekhyun, pressing open mouth kisses on Baekhyun’s jaw, the underside of his chin and Baekhyun can’t figure out if that’s much more worse. 

He notices that Chanyeol is careful to not go too close to his neck and he knows why the alpha is being careful but Baekhyun can’t help but feel disappointment, he wants more, he’ll always want more so he cranes his neck more, presents himself. 

Baekhyun swears he hears Chanyeol groan against his cheek and it’s a sound that devours him completely and he wants to hear it again and again, god he wants so many things.

“Baek,”  Chanyeol says, voice so fucking deep and gruff that Baekhyun spreads his legs. 

They’re constricted because of Chanyeol’s thighs on either side of them and the omega whimpers, straining his neck even more, why isn’t Alpha biting yet? Baekhyun’s thoughts are foggy and muddled, Why did he ignore me? Does— Does he not want me?

“Fuck,” Chanyeol mutters. 

The warmth that had safely engulfed Baekhyun is suddenly gone and he whips his head around so fast his neck almost snaps and there’s an immediate sense of relief when he sees that Chanyeol went back to laying next to him. 

Baekhyun turns to his side, face to face with Chanyeol, head still spinning, body still stuffed with the alpha’s scent. 

Chanyeol looks tense, working his jawline and he hesitates a bit before he places a hand on Baekhyun’s face. 

“Hey,” He says, stroking Baekhyun’s cheek delicately, touches lingering. 

“Why did you stop?” Baekhyun whimpers, reaching out to clutch Chanyeol’s t-shirt, scooting closer until he’s pressing himself against Chanyeol’s strong body, his alpha is so strong, he would definitely protect them… 

“My wolf,” Chanyeol tells him with some difficulty, “could feel yours and they wanted to mate.”

That sounds like a perfect idea, Baekhyun thinks.

“And when you presented yourself, it was really hard not to.” Chanyeol’s eyes darken a little, his fingers daring to press against the soft skin of Baekhyun’s neck. “God, I want to. ”

Baekhyun clutches Chanyeol’s shirt, holds on to it like a lifeline, as if it’s the only thing keeping him from floating and maybe it is , it’s so difficult to think when Chanyeol’s hand is tracing his collarbones, lingering on places where a mating mate would look so pretty. 

“I want to kiss more,” Baekhyun dares to say, lips sore, heart aching painfully. 

“Me too,” Chanyeol’s voice tight, his features strained, holding himself back for some reason. “I need a moment, you’re so tempting, it’s really unfair.”

Baekhyun smiles shyly, a striking opposite of the catastrophe spinning within him. 

Chanyeol smiles back, gently, dimples only encouraging the collapse within Baekhyun. 

“I love you,” He whispers, pressing pieces of the stars dipped in warm honey into Baekhyun’s skin, into his soul. “I’ll be good to you, Baek, I’ll take care of you, I promise.”

Baekhyun doesn’t know how long Chanyeol had kissed him, he doesn’t care for time anymore, and he’s convinced all the seconds and minutes died from suffocation, from the heavy tenderness of Chanyeol’s scent, of his love. 

Baekhyun wakes up to strong arms around him, and soft lips dropping soft kisses on his forehead. 

He hums, the sound low in his throat, pressing his face deeper into the curve of Chanyeol’s neck, hands on his broad chest. 

Chanyeol lets out a soft chuckle, the sound causing vibrations underneath Baekhyun’s fingers. Baekhyun feels the arms around him tighten, and then somehow there are lips on his neck, hot and then wet and there are shivers going down Baekhyun’s spine and a soft whimper spilling from his lips.

The sound causes Chanyeol to stop, pulling away slightly, looking at Baekhyun with dark eyes, a content curve to his lips. “Good morning, love.”

“Good morning,” Baekhyun mumbles, very very happy that this is real, that the man in front of him is real and this moment isn’t an impossibility anymore. He feels like he’s eaten a handful of clouds. 

Baekhyun presses his face into the curve of Chanyeol’s neck, wanting to breathe in the rich alpha scent. And he does, it soothes out his scars but… it’s not as potent as before, not as strong. 

He pulls away to look at Chanyeol and with a small frown asks, “Did you take your suppressants already?”

“Yeah.” Chanyeol’s breath smells like peppermint. 

“And you’ve brushed your teeth,” Baekhyun states, turning his face away, absolutely mortified, “My breath stinks doesn’t it?” 

“It’s not that bad,” Chanyeol responds, reaching over and placing a hand on Baekhyun’s jaw, firm in the way he gently forces Baekhyun to look back at him. It’s so hot and he would really love to kiss Chanyeol right now. 

“Of course you’d say that,” Baekhyun mumbles. 

With a sigh, he throws the sheets off of his body, running a hand through his hair. He can feel Chanyeol’s gaze on him as he hops off the bed, adjusting his oversized shirt that threatens to hang too low. 

“Why did you get up so early anyways?” Baekhyun asks, stretching his arms above his head. 

Chanyeol had been in the process of sitting up when he froze suddenly. There is an instant shift in the air between them, the alpha avoiding eye contact. 

“I took a shower,” Chanyeol says but his tone sounds careful, as if he’s trying to avoid the question, not giving the full story. 

Normally Baekhyun would have just ignored it, dropped it. After last night, after seeing how much Chanyeol worries over him, Baekhyun finds that he can’t. He would like for the alpha to trust him. 

“That’s all?” Baekhyun inquires, trying to sound casual. He’s worried, what if Chanyeol had a nightmare or— or what if he regrets what happened last night? 

“I um—” Chanyeol leans against the frame of the bed, looking away. The tips of his ears look a little bit pink. “I woke up… hard and— shit this is so embarrassing—”

“Oh.”

Baekhyun has woken up like that before but it’s much more common among male Betas and Alphas. It’s normal, it’s just—

He can’t help but glance at Chanyeol’s crotch, which is completely useless since his lower half is covered by the sheets and the comforter. He meets Chanyeol’s eyes immediately, startled by the worry pooling within them. 

“I’m flattered,” Baekhyun says with unmeasured playfulness. 

And Baekhyun doesn’t know if this is the right thing to say but he doesn’t quite know what to do with the satisfaction, the pride that’s running through his veins. And one thing he refuses to do is dwell on things, overthink everything and worry about things that shouldn’t be worried about. 

His mate loves him, wants him and— and he knows his insecurities won’t go away in a handful of days but Baekhyun knows everything will become easier with Chanyeol. 

And maybe it’s wrong, replying on someone to hold him up but, for now, it’s okay. Baekhyun knows he’ll never have to worry about Chanyeol asserting dominance over his life.

With word dominance paired with Chanyeol’s surprised expression causes heat rise against Baekhyun. 

“Wake me up next time, so I can help.” Baekhyun smiles knowingly, extremely satisfied that his voice didn’t tremble and he sounded confident. 

He absolutely loves the way Chanyeol’s eyes darken, dilating beautifully underneath the faint sunlight. He loves the way Chanyeol moves across the bed, looking as if he’s about to pounce on Baekhyun and take a bite out of him. 

A giggle falls from Baekhyun’s lips when he finds himself pressed against the wall next to the bathroom door, muscular arms caging him in. Chanyeol is hovering above him glancing down at Baekhyun’s lips and then up at his eyes. 

Baekhyun’s breath catches as Chanyeol leans in, threatening to shatter into thousands of pieces and he watches as Chanyeol’s pretty eyes become half lidded, lips parting gently. There’s a heavy, almost suffocating surge of desire disguised as hot lava splashing against his lungs and then a thought enters his mind. He doesn’t think twice about it. 

Baekhyun waits until Chanyeol is close enough to kiss the handful of planets in between them and he slides down the wall, ducking under Chanyeol’s muscular arms and he runs out the room, an unfamiliar sense of playfulness etching itself into his bones. 

He runs down the hallway, a satisfied, pleased smile dancing on his lips when he hears Chanyeol chasing after him. He knows the alpha is holding back, amused, wanting to see where this goes. 

Typical alpha, chasing after an omega. 

Typical omega, wanting to be chased. 

Baekhyun goes down the stairs fast, hands on the rails almost sliding when he reaches the living room floor. Grin still stretching his lips, Baekhyun runs through the couches and coffee table, if only to make it harder for Chanyeol. He wants to be caught but he can’t make it too easy.

Baekhyun is running out of space to run to and he finds himself in the kitchen, facing the kitchen island. He spins around, wanting to see how close Chanyeol is. 

He is met with the wonderful sight of a strong, broad chest straining against the pathetic clothing fabric but he doesn’t have time to admire for long because there are firm hands on his hips and he’s in the air for a breath or two. 

Baekhyun gasps lightly when Chanyeol places him on the kitchen island, looking straight into Chanyeol’s eyes instead of gazing up for once. Chanyeol leans close, the grin of his brushing against Baekhyun’s ear and Baekhyun presses his hands against Chanyeol’s chest. 

“Caught you,” Chanyeol murmurs, deep and rich. 

There’s an almost feral element in his voice, a verbal claim.

 It's a horrible substitution for the mark that could be on Baekhyun’s neck but it still means something, causes a flutter in his chest, and makes the burning in his abdomen worse. He feels rose petals on his cheeks. 

Chanyeol leans back to face Baekhyun again, apparently very determined to not let any sort of space in between them. Baekhyun doesn’t mind, he wants this, wants to savor the faint, musky alpha scent, wants to taste the strength burning against his hands. 

Chanyeol shatters the fragile space in between them, his intentions clear but Baekhyun moves his space to the side, despite the ache in his heart when he does so. 

“Wait, I haven’t brushed my teeth yet.”

“Closed mouthed kisses then,” Chanyeol says, voice low, sending a tremble down Baekhyun’s spine, threatening to break it apart. 

“Gross,” Baekhyun mumbles. 

But he lets Chanyeol kiss him anyway, his heart pulsating desperately after a few moments, the consequence of the catastrophe from within. 

Time becomes one of Baekhyun’s favorite things. 

Seconds have become soft kisses on the curve of his neck, on his lips, his bare shoulder, minutes are nothing but firm hands on Baekhyun’s hips, on his thighs, a finger or two in his mouth while the hours have altered into legs quivering, breath shaking, heart pounding against the hollow of his rib cage. 

From the time the sun overwhelms the stars to the last moon light against a dark sky, Baekhyun knows nothing but this hot, desperate desire that is beyond his finite comprehension. 

Chanyeol insists on waiting. 

“I have to do right by you, baby,” The alpha groans into Baekhyun’s supple wet and sweet mouth. 

“What does that even mean?” Baekhyun gasps, the firm hands groping his ass tightening. “We’re basically fucking already,” He mouths along the taunt line of Chanyeol’s jawline, feeling up those broad, strong, bare shoulders. “Just get rid of our underwear and we’re good to go,”

Baekhyun purposefully pushes back against Chanyeol’s straining cock, he can feel it against the curve of his ass, all he needs to do is move his underwear to the side… 

“Baek—” Chanyeol moans in his devastatingly rich voice. 

Baekhyun’s cock strains against his underwear, slick drips out of his hole and he starts grinding against Chanyeol’s, straightening his back, pressing his palms against Chanyeol’s muscular abdomen. 

The hands on his ass felt so so good and Chanyeol’s suppressants are wearing off and so his heavy scent is everywhere, filling Baekhyun up to the brim but he wants to be filled up with cock and a knot and god ever since they confessed some days ago Baekhyun has wanted nothing more than to come apart underneath Chanyeol, wants to be reduced to nothing but a naked, shaking mess. 

But for now, this will have to do and so he moves his hips again and again, Chanyeol rutting against his ass, head tilted back, eyes closed, quiet, tight moans and groans invading every sound wave in this bedroom. 

Remembering that Chanyeol likes it when he’s vocal, Baekhyun parts his lips and moans, having no reservation, couldn't find any if he wanted to because he’s shaking from this pleasure that he's never, ever going to get used to, never going to want to let go of;

and there’s a soft fluttering in his chest from when Chanyeol tells him fuck you’re so pretty and he can’t stop thinking about how it would feel if there were no clothes separating them, how the feeling of large palms on his bare cheeks would cause an even bigger, more dangerous burst of heat in his stomach

Baekhyun’s hips stutter when one of Chanyeol’s trust is rougher than the others and he looks down at the powerful, handsome man underneath him, breath choking him. 

Every inch of Chanyeol’s body is raw with strength and he catches Baekhyun staring and then there are lips against Baekhyun’s own, urgent, hot and firm, Chanyeol is kissing Baekhyun desperately, as if he never, ever wants to stop and teeth clash painfully, warm breaths intertwining for the brief, extraordinary moment in which they get lost in each others lungs. 

And Baekhyun really wants to lean forward and nip at the golden skin on Chanyeol’s neck where he wants his mating bite to be but the molten lava in his lower stomach takes over. 

Hips press down more frantically, thrusts are met with tangible enthusiasm and there are wet kisses on the curve of his neck and long fingers sliding underneath his flimsy underwear, gripping harshly and the feeling of fire licking his skin, Chanyeol’s scent dancing on the trembling fingers gripping the alpha’s arm;

And Chanyeol cums,

Moaning devastatingly deep into Baekhyun’s neck, and the omega swallows achingly hard, pleasure pulsating through his veins, pride flaring within him and he waits for Chanyeol to stop thrusting, but the alpha doesn’t and he feels the curve of a heavy cock against his ass and fingers pulling his ass cheek apart, causing the slick building up to trail downwards 

and Baekhyun really really really wishes Chanyeol would press a finger into his hole, just one but instead he receives a warm, big hand against his throbbing cock and it’s not the first time but he still gasps like it is.

Baekhyun finds himself leaning against Chanyeol, whimpering into his neck and the hand tightens just right , stroking up and down quickly and–

and there are kisses on his shoulders, Chanyeol is pressing soft, loving kisses and Baekhyun is moved by the gesture and he desperately wants to tell Chanyeol that he loves him but he finds that he can’t—

all he can do is whimper and rut against Chanyeol’s cock and feel his slick sliding down his ass and revel in the feeling of being dipped into scorching honey over and over again

When Baekhyun comes, it feels as if his bones, his lungs, his heart collapses, all he can hear is the ringing in his eyes, the echoes of his stuttering breath, the strange beauty in the feeling of his quivering thighs. 

He wants to cry when Chanyeol cups his face and kisses him once, twice, thrice, so adoringly and tender, an almost violent contrast with what Baekhyun had been experiencing a moment ago.

Baekhyun can’t get enough of Chanyeol, of his dimpled grin and his flirty, lingering touches, the way he laughs when Baekhyun says a mediocre joke.

He can’t get enough of his love or the way Chanyeol always looks at him as if he’s found something he never, ever wants to walk away from or the tender kisses, and the soft endearments that stomp on Baekhyun’s heart, his ribcage, his lungs. 

Somewhere in between all of this, they go back to Baekhyun’s old pack. 

“I think that’s the last of it,” Baekhyun comments, watching as Chanyeol reaches above him and closes the car trunk, his bare arms straining.

The trunk closes with a sense of finality and Baekhyun is ashamed to admit he feels relieved. 

He should feel some sort of sadness or devastation for leaving behind the only place he’s known for twenty-four years, the place where he had been raised, where his dad is still residing. 

Baekhyun had never been satisfied here, he had been miserable. He had his dad and Jongdae and Minseok and there are warm memories but it had never been enough and Baekhyun realises now that it would never have been enough.

At least, he’s leaving all of this behind without the pain if he had been kicked out by his mother. 

She hadn’t been home and it wasn’t surprising. Baekhyun had chosen this specific time to avoid any confrontation, he had nothing to say to her. However, his dad hadn’t been home. 

His scent had been faint so Baekhyun was able to tell that his dad had been in the hunt recently. With a concerned Chanyeol at his side, Baekhyun had gone to ask the neighbours, people he had lived near his whole life but never spoken with them much.     

Apparently, his dad had recently been assigned to care for pups at the village’s social center.

Baekhyun, thankful that his dad wasn’t spending the whole day home alone, had slipped a brief note in between the dishes. His mother is too proud to wash or put away any dishes and so Baekhyun is confident that his dad will learn that Baekhyun plans on visiting after his heat. 

He’s really thankful to have Chanyeol’s support. The alpha insists that he shouldn’t be thanked but as Baekhyun watches Chanyeol big through the bag of snacks on the passenger seat, he is overwhelmed, flooded by this sweet and soft feeling. He feels like dipping a paintbrush in it and painting his soul with it. 

“Do you want a granola bar or trail mix?” Chanyeol asks, two water bottles next to him, pressed against the soft material of the passenger's seat.

“Granola bar please, the peanut butter one!”

Baekhyun goes around to the other side. He opens the car door and slides into the back passenger seats, leaving the door open to let the air in. There is no danger in doing so, the pack has almost no crimes and with the summer sun high in the sky, shining hauntingly down, virtually everyone is indoors. 

Baekhyun pats the cushion next to him. “Sit with me, Yeol.”

Chanyeol grins, boyish and charmingly, tugging at Baekhyun’s heart instantly.

The Alpha slides in, dropping the bag of snacks at his feet. He adjusts in order to face Baekhyun properly and Baekhyun's sharp eyes hungrily eat the slight strain in Chanyeol’s arms, knowing no moderation, knowing no restrain. 

They sit in silence for a moment,  digging into the small snack and sipping their waters. 

“We’ll get something on our way back,” Chanyeol promises. 

“Take out?” Baekhyun asks hopefully. “I just want to go straight home.”

“What, no cuddling?” Chanyeol teases, dimples sinking deep into his skin by fondness. 

Baekhyun blushes, heart rolling right off a clif. “Of course.”

“Good,” Chanyeol says, deep and happy.

“I need to finish moving my things into the room,” Baekhyun thinks out loud, still too shy to call it their room. He’s shy about this but not about tasting Chanyeol’s bare skin. Ridiculous. 

“Our room,” Chanyeol pauses for a moment. “Or yours, whatever you like. Everything I own belongs to you, sweetheart.”

Five buckets of warm, red paint splatter onto Baekhyun’s cheeks. Again with the endearments, again with the constant attacks towards his heart.

“So,” Chanyeol suddenly says, “tell me about your pack. What did you like to do?”

Baekhyun looks down at his hands, at the crumbled wrapper tangled in between his fingers. 

“The festivals were always fun,” Baekhyun says carefully, deciding to focus on events rather than what happened within his home. “The bonfires, the dancing. I always liked seeing the Alpha’s and Beta’s coming back with lots of meat.”

“Because you liked one of them?” Chanyeol teases.

Baekhyun’s lips break into a grin as he rolls his eyes. “It meant we were going to eat well.”

“Right.” Chanyeol leans in closer, playfulness dancing on the corners of his lips. Something shifts behind the brown canvas of his eyes. “Perhaps I should go out and hunt something, would my omega appreciate that?” 

Baekhyun’s breath catches in his throat, oxygen struggling to provide life but Baekhyun finds that he much prefers filling up his lungs with the intense, burning feeling exploding within his chest. 

He tries to fight off a blush but it's no use, there are buckets and buckets of red paint on his cheeks, roses smeared by the color and his heart quivers pathetically. 

“Hmm, sweetheart?” Chanyeol murmurs, his deep voice scorching hot. 

Baekhyun doesn’t understand why Chanyeol suddenly decided to torture him. 

“Stop,” Baekhyun whines, “You’re being unfair.”

“How?” Chanyeol asks with a knowing grin. 

Baekhyun decides to be honest. 

“You’re making me want you. Really want you.” He says, not daring to put the desire he’s feeling into much clearer words in fear of rejection. 

Chanyeol’s eyes flicker down to Baekhyun’s lips. “I know, your scent is killing me.” 

Baekhyun swallows. 

He’s already gotten his scent suppressants but since his heat is already close, there’s no point in taking them for only a week or so. And while Baekhyun would never say it outloud, he hopes his ever increasing scent would push Chanyeol over the edge and finally fuck him. 

It seems to be working, if the way Chanyeol has now cupped Baekhyun’s face in between his hands, sharing oxygen, has anything to say. 

“Are you… sure?” Chanyeol asks with clear restraint in his voice. 

“Yes,” Baekhyun tells him immediately, his heart, his bones, his breath trembling. 

He dares to lean forward, eagerly pressing his lips against Chanyeol’s. He closes his eyes when he feels Chanyeol kiss back, somewhere between soft and intense and he wants more intensity so he bites gently down on Chanyeol’s lip. Chanyeol retaliates by breaking open Baekhyun’s lips and tasting him, shoving exhilarating desire down Baekhyun’s throat and Baekhyun feels his bones chatter, feels it’s burning touch and for a moment, he mistakenly believes he’s swallowed the sun. 

Baekhyun moans into the kiss, there’s an urge to rub his thighs together but he wants the friction of Chanyeol’s hand instead, wants Chanyeol to finally touch him where he’s been dying to be touched for days now. 

He wants the firm hands on his face to travel down his body, wants to feel palms brushing against his nipples, fingers digging to his skin. There’s a desperate desire within every curve, every crevice of his body, a hunger that he’s grown so accustomed to it that Baekhyun doesn’t remember the world from before.

Chanyeol kisses him in a fervent manner, in a way that causes Baekhyun to feel as if he’s on the edge of insanity and it’s so hot, the space between them as never known cool air, has never known anything other than this blistering desire and Baekhyun’s lips are sore and he loves it, he wants more, he wants everything.

“Yeol,” Baekhyun whimpers within the brief moment where they pull away for half a breath. 

Chanyeol’s chest is heaving, looking at Baekhyun as if he wants to devour him. 

“We can’t,” Chanyeol says desperately. “Not here, you deserve a bed and—”

“Please,” Baekhyun begs, aching.

Chanyeol dips down and kisses him; only his kisses are now soft and bursting with adoration and clouds. Gentle and sweet, so startlingly different from how they were mere moments ago.

“Later,” Chanyeol promises when he pulls away. 

Baekhyun doesn’t know if he’s capable of waiting that long. 

They share a few more kisses, Chanyeol presses a few more pieces of the sun against Baekhyun’s lips that leaves him gasping for air. 

The burst of passion, of hot, desperate need eventually dims into tiny, soft kisses, scattered across Baekhyun’s lips, his cheeks, the corner of his eyes. A constellation of Chanyeol’s love. 

“Let’s take a walk?” Chanyeol asks in between the insignificant space in between them. “Or— Or go outside?”

“I want to go home,” Baekhyun murmurs, eyes stuck on the swell of Chanyeol’s lips, the flush on his face. 

“Me too,” Chanyeol says, voice deep, sending a tremble down Baekhyun’s spine. “But I’m scared we might not make it,”

And Baekhyun loves the implication in his Alpha’s voice, he’s swimming in it, he’s swallowing all of it up. 

But he can see the strain in Chanyeol’s handsome face and he’s gazing so deeply into his eyes that it's a wonder Baekhyun hasn’t caught on fire just yet. Everything about Chanyeol, everything about this moment is caving with intensity, with his love.

“Alright,” Baekhyun concedes, heat dazzling inside of him. “Let’s take a short walk.”

Chanyeol pulls away then, gazes at Baekhyun for a moment before opening the car food and stepping out. 

Baekhyun allows himself some time to breathe, Chanyeol’s heavy scent trapped in his head. He touches his lips softly, loving the soreness he feels and he can’t wait to feel that soreness everywhere in his body. 

He’s scared, unreasonably insecure but more than anything, he’s entered a state of want and need so deep that he doesn’t know how to escape it, not that he ever wants to. And it’s not just a matter of lust or being fucked. It’s so much more than that, it’s about being intimate, about handing over not only his heart but his body, his wants and his vulnerability and being able to trust Chanyeol with them. 

His mate. The man whom Baekhyun loves so much that he feels every part of his body, every part of his being interwoven with it. It’s a startling, extraordinary feeling. 

“What if,” Chanyeol suddenly asks, bottles of water in his hands, “we shift?”

Baekhyun furrows his eyebrows together. “And run around the woods?”

Chanyeol shrugs, making his way toward Baekhyun. “Yeah, it would be fun right? My wolf has been feeling a little restless.”

Baekhyun bites the inside of his cheek, knowing it’s probably because of him. 

“But what about our clothes? They would rip,” Baekhyun points out. He thinks for a moment. “We could take our clothes off here and shift.” 

If Chanyeol wants to spend an hour or two in the woods then Baekhyun will do everything in his power to make it happen. He wants Chanyeol to be happy, wants to return the caring and affectionate feeling he has safely tucked into his pockets. 

“And let everyone see you naked?” Chanyeol shakes his head. Baekhyun feels a strange swell within his chest. “I have some gym clothes in my car, we can bring those with us.”

Baekhyun crinkles his nose and Chanyeol laughs, bright, grinning in a way that causes Baekhyun to collapse inside. 

“They’re clean, I promise.” 

Baekhyun leads Chanyeol into the woods, hands intertwined, palms pressed together so closely, the matter that makes up the universe can’t slip through. 

“When was the last time you shifted? Before the Blue Moon?” Baekhyun asks, stepping over an overgrown root. 

Chanyeol places a hand on Baekhyun’s lower back, with the intention of steadying him but the deep warmth of his large hand leaves Baekhyun swaying along with the butterflies in his stomach. 

“I try to shift a week or two before my rut comes,” Chanyeol says, interlocking their fingers again, the strap from his gym bag sliding down a little on his shoulder. “So I don’t feel overwhelmed.”

“Really?” Baekhyun asks, glancing up at Chanyeol with surprise. “But I never saw you around.”

It hadn’t been uncommon to have a handful of wolves around the woods. It’s permitted since some sections of the woods belong to the government. Trying to enter pack territory is a different process but Baekhyun is sure he would have taken notice of Chanyeol at one point. 

“I lived at my parents house, I would just shift there.” Chanyeol casually responds, moving a tree branch to the side. “They want to meet you by the way.” Chanyeol finishes with a fond smile. 

“I would definitely love to meet them,” Baekhyun replies, both excited and nervous.

“They’ll love you,” Chanyeol promises. He looks away and his face lights up. “Oh is this the meadow you were talking about?”

Baekhyun tilts his head upward and he grins when he sees the thinning tree line. “Yeah!”

He leads Chanyeol forward, trying to be careful about where he steps but his bones are quivering with excitement, his wolf clawing from under his chest, begging to be let out, to stretch and run around. There is an unexpected swell of playfulness within him, the urge to play with Chanyeol, with his mate, to groom him, to nip at his fur. 

With a grin full of warmth, Baekhyun lets go of Chanyeol’s strong hand and he runs towards the open clearing. After a stride or two, paws hit the forest ground, the shift effortless, painless and the burst of freedom, of feeling the universe run through his fur leaves Baekhyun wagging his tail, tongue sticking out. 

He runs into the meadow, not quite half way before he spins around. He shakes out his fur, barking at Chanyeol when he sees the Alpha is still in his human form, making his way toward the meadow.

Chanyeol laughs, a rich, throaty sound. “You’re so cute.”

Baekhyun absolutely loves that, being called cute and he swishes his tail even harder. 

In the second it takes for the sun to breathe, Chanyeol transforms into his wolf form. 

He shakes out his beautiful deep brown fur and trots towards Baekhyun, tail wagging behind him, lips curled into something that resembles a fond smile. Baekhyun yips and he runs in a circle once, not knowing what's come over him, this– this deep affection he has for Chanyeol is magnized, the side of a hundred plants all jammed in between his ribs. 

Chanyeol bumps his head affectionately against Baekhyun’s, his size and height completely engulfing the omega. Baekhyun bumps back, tail swishing, skin tingling with love and he nips at Chanyeol’s thick neck, yipping playfully when Chanyeol nips back. 

Baekhyun jumps a little, growling playfully as he attempts to take the bigger wolf down, pouncing on him, nipping at the deep chestnut fur. Chanyeol responds with equally high spirited growls and yips, the sounds of it traveling dangerously through Baekhyun’s bones. 

They run around, chasing after each other, and when it is Baekhyun's turn to chase, he pounces on Chanyeol, delighted when the bigger wolf concedes and falls to the soft grass. Tail wagging harshly behind him, Baekhyun pushes his weight onto the other wolf, biting Chanyeol’s protruding ear, laughing internally when the Alpha whines, shaking his head. 

Baekhyun continues to try to bite Chanyeol’s ears, twisting and turning, not minding Chanyeol’s light, warning growls and rumbles in his chest. Baekhyun manges to nip at them once more and he yips when Chanyeol pushes himself up. 

Baekhyun lands on the grass but he doesn’t mind the fall, having felt nothing. He rolls onto his back, twisting in the grass, tongue hanging out, so, so elated, stuffed with Chanyeol’s scent, with the affection swelling within this moment. 

Baekhyun decides he wants to groom Chanyeol. The ultimate show of care and love. 

He remembers about the lake near here. The one closest to the pack will certainly have people but the other smaller one is a way out from the pack, guaranteed to be unoccupied. 

Baekhyun springs up, tail wagging. He paws at the ground in front of the big Alpha, indicating that Chanyeol should follow him. 

Chanyeol visibly perks up, ears flapping. 

He turns around though and trots towards the treeline. Confused, Baekhyun is about to let out a whine but then he realizes that Chanyeol is carrying the strap of the gym back in his big mouth. 

Brimming with planets made up of serotonin, Baekhyun breaks into a jog towards the treeline in the opposite direction. 

The moment Baekhyun sees the shimmering, gentle water, he bursts into a run, fur dancing in the air. He leaps and when he lands in the water, it’s a fresh burst of summer, like a cool breeze molding itself against his body. 

Baekhyun paddles further into the lake, holding his giant head up above the waterline. There is a splash behind him, ripples in the water, announcing Chanyeol’s presence. 

He wants to duck his head underneath, wants to swim and float and splash at Chanyeol but it’s difficult to navigate in this form. Really, Baekhyun should have given it more thought before shifting back to human form. 

The movement of his bones rearranging themselves causes Baekhyun to sink underwater for a moment. Eyes shut, feeling the water swirling around his now human body, Baekhyun pushes himself upward, breaking through the surface. 

He’s completely naked, the water line barely covering his collarbones but he pays no attention to it, immediately splashing in the direction of Chanyeol who is floating in the water, still in his wolf form. Baekhyun doesn’t stop his movements, light laughter building up in his throat, bursting into bubbles when Chanyeol somehow manages to shake out his fur. 

Baekhyun covers his face, his crescendo of laughter retiring to the sky and then there’s a ripple in the water, a shift in the sun’s breath between them and when Baekhyun peaks from in between his slayed fingers,

And his heart 

stops.

Chanyeol holds himself proudly, his broad shoulders and strong chest glistening underneath the sunlight, the gentle ripples of the water a violent contradiction to the valleys along the curved muscles of his body. 

Baekhyun wants to trace Chanyeol’s body, he wants to appreciate the feel of him, wants to lose himself within Chanyeol’s strength, his rich scent, in his love. He finds himself struggling to breathe, struggling to remember how words work because Chanyeol moves closer, and there are droplets of water on his sun kissed skin, his dark hair pushed back and there's a hunger within Baekhyun. 

Desire. 

He’s draped in it. Absolutely drowning in it.

“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun whimpers as he makes his way towards the Alpha, forces the water to part for him. “I need—”

He’s tripping over his words, no longer coherent to this world. He is looking from a disjointed, foggy perspective, know nothing but this anguish kind of desire; 

Chanyeol is moving as well and he hardly gives Baekhyun a chance to process his deep, intense look in his eyes because there are strong arms warped around him and naked bodies pressing together 

and Chanyeol is kissing Baekhyun, making him feel a surge of want and heated desperation and Baekhyun is struggling to breathe, to think, to do anything other than move his lips against Chanyeol’s, breathing him in, his strength, his scent.

Chanyeol works Baekhyun open and there are shivers and lightning bolts and Baekhyun feels himself becoming so overwhelmed that his legs start trembling and so he pushes himself closer to Chanyeol, merges the lines of their bodies, trailing a hand up into dark, wet hair. 

Baekhyun absolutely loves the way Chanyeol feels, the hard muscles, the heat of his skin, his kisses, his desire and god his cock, Baekhyun can feel it pressing against the inside of his thighs, just underneath his own, and it feels heavy, promising and Baekhyun’s lips falter as he starts imagining how it would feel to have Chanyeol in his mouth, to have him reaching the deepest part of him.

The strength of Chanyeol’s arms around him pins him in place and Baekhyun can lose himself here, in his arms, for hours, for years. God, given the chance Baekhyun would spend eternities pressed against Chanyeol, listening to the heartbeat that is for him only.

Baekhyun presses his hand against Chanyeol’s warm chest, and he whimpers and moans and gasps, and he doesn’t quite understand how they haven’t drowned yet and then Chanyeol is kissing his neck, his chin, the length of his collarbones, pressing down his scent into Baekhyun’s trembling skin. 

“Yeol,” Baekhyun says breathlessly, eyes heavy with want, with need.

Chanyeol slides a strong, big hand behind Baekhyun’s neck and tilts the omegas face up to kiss the line of his jaw and it’s hot, so hot 

The water surrounding them feels like it’s burning burning, absolutely scorching and Baekhyun can feel slick slipping out of him and his own cock brushing against Chanyeol’s

And they are both breathless from the pleasure and the exhilaration of this moment.

Baekhyun is on fire.

His bones are ignited by the sunlight on his back, from the heavy, possessive hands on his hips, from Chanyeol’s tight grip, from all the times his deep, intense voice wraps around the words you’re so perfect, so beautiful, fuck I love you sweetheart, I love you so much

And Baekhyun keeps pressing his lips against Chanyeol’s sculpted ones, takes all those words, swallows all of them, loving the burn they leave behind. Chanyeol’s heavy, the Alpha’s scent suffocates his lungs and Baekhyun can feel Chanyeol’s cock, pressing in between his ass, no longer confined underneath clothing—

Fuck Baekhyun wants it inside, he wants to feel it scraping against his walls, wants to lose his virginity to this strong man underneath him, his mate, the man whom he loves and when Baekhyun places his hands on Chanyeol’s muscular chest, he can feel Chanyeol’s heart pounding, struggling underneath his fingers—

Baekhyun can feel the beauty of Chanyeol’s desire, his love from the tips of his fingers, the palms of his hands to every fiber, every bone of his being. The intensity of it mingles with his breath, making it difficult to breathe and Chanyeol bites down gently on Baekhyun’s lip, soothing the sting with his tongue, stroking patterns on the curve of Baekhyun’s hips.

Baekhyun whimpers, pressing back onto the thick curve of Chanyeol’s cock, pressing his hips against Chanyeol’s muscular torso, rubbing his hard length against it and there’s slick gushing out of his throbbing hole and he knows his scent is everywhere, uncontrollable. 

Chanyeol breaks the kiss and moans into Baekhyun’s neck, deep and it pushes Baekhyun, driving his hips back, meeting Chanyeol's thrusts upward and there are debuched sounds spilling from his lips. 

But it’s not enough. 

“Chanyeol— mount me please, please—”

The cock rutting against the curve of his ass stops, Chanyeol stills underneath him.

“We can’t,” Chanyeol tells him, dark hair still wet, eyes drowning in its own desire. “We’re in public anyone can see us—"

“We can move away from the lake,” Baekhyun inists, the sound of the gentle waves of water behind him. “We can go deeper into the woods, no one would see us—”

“It won’t be comfortable for you,” Chanyeol’s voice is deep and his hands are gentle. “We just have the towel.” 

Baekhyun glances down to the towel the Alpha had hastily gotten out of his gym bag and thrown on the lake bank before laying onto it, manhandling Baekhyun above him. Baekhyun feels bad for a moment, guilty for the discomfort Chanyeol might be feeling. 

“And what if I knot you?” Chanyeol’s voice comes out deep, rough, barely restrained.

“It’s okay, I’m on birth control and—” Baekhyun’s breath stutters, swept up by this current of raw intensity, “I want to feel you, I can take it—” and he starts rutting against Chanyeol’s cock again, feeling slick trail down from in between his thighs, his poor cock throbbing.

Chanyeol curses, and there are big, strong hands gripping Baekhyun’s ass and he says, “We can’t love, if I knot you it’ll take a while to go down,”

But then Chanyeol starts thrusting against Baekhyun’s ass, thrusting his cock into the curve and it’s nothing new, they’ve done this before except they’re naked now;

And Baekhyun inhales sharply, cries out softly when he feels the tip of his mate’s cock press against his hole, whether it had been accidentally or intentionally does not matter because it has Baekhyun’s trembling, has him feeling as if he had been dipped in hot honey, into a pool filled with the matter that makes up the sun and the stars and Chanyeol—

Chanyeol suddenly flips them over, gently laying Baekhyun underneath his big, muscular frame and the omega looks up, eyes faded with swirling supernovas and his heart is pounding violently thump thump

Chanyeol presses hot, wet, explosive kisses along Baekhyun’s jawling, underneath his chin, the curve of his neck and there is one hand tracing burning suns into Baekhyun’s waist

Baekhyun throws his head back, closing his eyes as he rubs his thighs together and he wants to sob at how pathetically aching his hole feels, the throbbing of his disregarded cock 

With a deep, powerful, almost animalistic groan, Chanyeol presses his lips and his tongue over and over again onto the juncture of where Baekhyun’s shoulder and neck meet 

Chanyeol mutters, “This is where I’ll claim you.”

And then he presses two fingers against Baekhyun’s wet rim.

“And this is where I’ll claim you now.”

Chanyeol presses his tongue against Baekhyun’s puckered, wet rim, tracing and licking and he’s letting out deep, satisfied sounds, sending trembles up Baekhyun’s spine, breaking it apart, causing him to collapse inside, to break apart until he is nothing but a violently beating heart, surrounded by what feels like 13 summer days and the suns breath.

Baekhyun gasps and he whimpers and he’s falling apart, fraying, his thighs are shaking underneath the imprints of Chanyeol’s strong fingers, he needs oxygen, he needs to find his lungs, he needs more more more

“Alpha!” Baekhyun moans, fingers tightening around the soft towel underneath him, head hanging low as his back arches, eyes closed tight. More and more whimpers, gasps and moans fall from his swollen lips, heavy with a need so desperate it’s almost terrifying. 

Chanyeol presses a short, wet kiss against Baekhyun’s rim and then he forces the plush thighs in his large, firm hands to spread apart even more and the power , the dominance of the action has Baekhyun struggling to keep existing, to keep his heart from collapsing into a pile of tenderness and there’s a rise of pulsating warmth in his lower stomach.

Chanyeol continues to press his tongue against the puckered rim, tracing, licking, using his teeth to gently, carefully graze the skin and he says you taste so good with a voice so deep, so strangled and choked that it has wantonness carved into Baekhyun’s features, has him trembling; 

every vertebrae trembles as Chanyeol presses his tongue flat against the wet hole, as he pushes his tongue inside, flickering, drawing out Baekhyun’s pleasure, drawing out more sounds, encouraging the beautiful chaos pooling within every curve of the omega’s body

Baekhyun’s breath becomes shallow, it becomes insignificant as the tightening within him stretches tensely across his body, all the way to the tips of his fingers, it’s heavy, undeniable 

but Baekhyun doesn’t want this to end, he doesn't want Chanyeol’s lips to ever stop kissing his rim, he doesn’t ever, ever want Chanyeol to stop pressing or swirling his tongue, drinking up Baekhyun’s slick as if he’s managed to taste the sun and a thousand flowers and he never, ever wants to forget how it tastes like.

Baekhyun tries to hold back, he tries to moderate his pleasure, the extremity of the heat clawing at his stomach, burning up his insides, burning up every whisper of what he once was. 

Chanyeol’s hands, his large, strong hands, tighten, causing flesh to gently spill over the powerful grooves of his fingers and Baekhyun’s hands tighten around the towel underneath him.

And he realizes that his attempts on trying to control his pleasure is pathetic.

Baekhyun arches his back and his legs tremble and it’s all building up and up and he’s trying to tell Chanyeol, he keeps trying to say Chanyeol’s name but Baekhyun can barely keep himself from collapsing, much less say a single word.

And he cums.

Baekhyun spills white all over the towel below him and there is a cascade of slick streaming out of him and he has half a mind to move away 

But Chanyeol tightens his hold on Baekhyun’s thighs, making it clear that he is to stay and the Alpha groans deeply and he continues to kiss and lick in between round cheeks, teeth grazing against the rim so wonderfully.  

Baekhyun keeps moaning, crying out from oversensitivity and he is torn from encouraging Chanyeol or telling him to stop, oh god don’t ever stop, he rasps, choking on his pleasure

But he’s too sensitive, he hasn’t been able to build up his tolerance for painfully sweet overstimulation and so his arms give away, he collapses to the ground, cum spearing onto his stomach.

Immediately, lips and tongue are gone from his rim.

“Are you okay?” Chanyeol asks, deep and rough 

Baekhyun manages a yes.

And there is a moment of tender silence, one where Chanyeol runs his hands over Baekhyun’s pilant body, fingertips dancing on his soft skin, leaving behind a story of adoration and want .

Then Chanyeol asks Baekhyun in his devastatingly deep voice if he can fuck his thighs.

“What?” Baekhyun asks, shakily.

“I—” Chanyeol hesitates and Baekhyun wants to turn around and see his Alpha’s face but there are hands on his hips holding him in place.

“Never mind,” Chanyeol tells him, his low voice falling onto Baekhyun’s naked body. “It’s alright love, let’s just get you cleaned up—”

“Yeol, wait.” Baekhyun says, voice straining in his throat from the mess of moans and whimpers from earlier. “Let’s try it.”

Chanyeol stills. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Baekhyun breathes out. “I want to feel you.”

Chanyeol decides to worship Baekhyun’s thighs.

Baekhyun feels hot, as if the world's thermostat has broken, as warm, large hands caress his thighs, gentle and yet heavy with possessiveness. 

Soft skin against slightly rough hands and when Baekhyun hangs his head to look back, the sight of his thighs spilling in between Chanyeol’s muscular hands stirs hot want and desire within him, burning his lungs but it’s okay because oxygen is overrated, Baekhyun only wants to breathe in his Alpha’s scent for the rest of his life.

Chanyeol spreads Baekhyun’s thighs a bit more, and the omega fights off a ridiculous blush. He feels exposed, his half hard cock hanging in between his legs and he hasn’t stopped gushing out slick, he can feel it trailing out of his rim and down the back of his thighs, on his balls, this is so embarrassing —

“God Baek, you’re killing me,” Chanyeol says roughly, voice straining against his words. “You’re— fuck you’re so beautiful.”

“Chanyeol—”

“I love you,” The Alpha tells Baekhyun, firmly, absolute and yet desperate. “I love you so much and I swear I’ll take care of you, I’ll make you happy.”

“Why are you saying this so suddenly?” Baekhyun asks and he wants to look over his shoulder but he’s scared that the moment he sees Chanyeol, he’ll become overwhelmed by this strange, vulnerable feeling that’s suffocating him.

“Because I want to,” Chanyeol says from behind him, hands moving upward to curved hips. “Because you’re letting me touch you like this.”

The sight of Baekhyun, his mate, his omega, underneath him, ass up, thighs parted, the lines and curves of his body taunt has Chanyeol still for a moment, his breath ringing in his ears, harmonizing with the pounding of his heart. 

Chanyeol’s breath hitches, his chest is heaving and there’s a rise of something tangible and– and beautiful, compromised by adoration and fondness and need, strung together with the images, the feel of Baekhyun underneath his large palms, surrendering himself, allowing  Chanyeol to touch and love him.

The Alpha struggles, his grip on Baekhyun’s plush hips tightening. The slick dripping from Baekhyun glistens underneath the sunlight and his rim is puffed prettitly, his thighs shaking.

Baekhyun whimpers, head still bowed down and Chanyeol can see the delicate curve of his neck, it’s tempting flesh.

And with that image and a clenched jaw, Chanyeol brings his cock in between Baekhyun’s beautifully parted thighs.

The head of his cock brushes against the underside of Baekhyun’s. The whisper touch of those plush thighs taunts Chanyeol, the wetness of them, Baekhyun’s scent is suffocating him and Chanyeol is terribly embarrassed when the rise of pleasure and heat within his taut abdomen almost over takes him. Fuck.

Baekhyun presses his thighs together without warning, sandwiching Chanyeol’s throbbing cock in between them. Chanyeol groans deeply at the sudden sensation of a warm tightness engulfing his sensitive cock and the sight of it, the view of Baekhyun’s puckered rim shiny with slick, the swell of his ass, his hips that Chanyeol is gripping at as if they’re his life line, the delicate dip of his back– 

It’s sinful, endearing sin with nature as its backdrop and the universe dancing on their skin. 

Chanyeol moves his hips back and forth, snapping his lower abdomen against the softness of the thighs surrounding him. Baekhyun huffs softly, sensually, driving Chanyeol’s thrusts, further edging the coiled tightness from underneath his hot skin. 

Chanyeol drags his cock against Baekhyun’s thighs, struggling to breathe from the sight of it alone, fuck Baekhyun just looks so pretty and his rim keeps leaking slick and Chanyeol can feel the jerking of Baekhyun’s pretty cock, hard and begging for Chanyeol to touch it 

And so Chanyeol does, he leans his heavy, strong frame over Baekhyun and wraps his hand around Baekhyun’s cock, moving his hand at the same tempo of his own thrusts and Baekhyun starts panting and he’s begging for something but Chanyeol is having a hard time figuring out what it is because everything within him, all of his sense are focused on the pleasure he’s feeling from fucking Baekhyun’s thighs, thrusting his cock relentlessly. 

Fuck the friction is amazing, causing Chanyeol’s muscular body to tighten from the feeling, from the sight of his cock thrusting in and out of Baekhyun’s beautiful thighs 

and at one point he purposefully rubs the head of it against the underswell of the omega’s ass, precum staining the soft skin and it makes him groan deeply and he lets go of Baekhyun’s weeping cock, placing both of his large hands on his omega’s waist, grip tight and possessive as he snaps his hips harshly, rough in the manner he slides his cock easily, slick clinging to both of them, their scents making love as well. 

With Baekhyun’s ass in the air, bent low, back arched hopelessly, Chanyeol continues to fuck those thighs relentlessly. Baekhyun moans, whimpers and his thighs start shaking and Chanyeol forces himself to stop, pressing his cock in between warm softness. 

“You okay, baby?” He asks, his voice rough, chest rising and falling rapidly and there’s sweat sliding down the side of his face but he doesn’t care for it. 

“Yeah–” Baekhyun moans, “ Keep going— ”

Chanyeol grinds his hips, the friction and pressure around his cock is intense, everything, everything is so intense, fervent, building up and up and his cock slides so easily, so nicely and Chanyeol can see his omega’s rim and his eyes grow dark and hazy from the thoughts crawling through his mind, he finds himself having a hard time holding back. 

Baekhyun’s whimpers, the way his body thrusts forward from every snap of Chanyeol’s hips, his pretty, sunkissed skin, every fickle, every line and curve, everything about this moment and the desire shaping it is impassioned.

The alpha continues to fuck his cock in between Baekhyun’s thighs, hips against ass, hands on smooth skin, jaw so tight his bones threaten to break. Chanyeol can feel the build up, can feel the tightening of his muscles and so he leans over Baekhyun once more, hips still snapping at a steady rhythm. 

With one hand still holding Baekhyun’s hips possessively and tenderly,  Chanyeol wraps his other hand around Baekhyun’s weeping cock, stroking aft the same relentless rhythm as his thrusts.

Baekhyun moans, hopelessly  and wretchedly and Chanyeol grins slightly, leaning down and pressing his broad, sweaty chest flushed against Baekhyun’s back, pressing a kiss in between tense shoulder blades.

Chanyeol swipes his thumb against the head of Baekhyun’s cock, pressing deliberately and the omega whimpers.

Molten lava and pride flares within Chanyeol and his smile deepens, making no effort in hiding his pleasure to Baekhyun’s respondes. He continues to thrust in between Baekhyun’s thighs, wet from slick and the lake, suffocating Chanyeol’s cock in it’s smugness.

Chanyeol finds himself struggling to breathe, his lungs straining for more of Baekhyun’s intimate scent and he can feel himself on the edge, a heavy, suffocating feeling. He snaps his hips harder and faster, strokes Baekhyun’s pretty cock more urgently, driven by the moans and whimpers coming from the omega, the sensuous sounds pooling around the crevices in between Baekhyun’s tight grip on the towel beneath him. 

For a moment, the Alpha is worried he might be going too fast, too rough but then Baekhyun gasps, “I’m c-cumming!” visibly choking on the pleasure Chanyeol is giving him.

Chanyeol groans deeply and he presses his chest flush against Baekhyun’s back again, biting softly into the skin underneath the omega’s shoulder blade, tasting fire and sweetness. 

Baekhyun spills into Chanyeol’s hand, fingers curling, arms quivering and the debauched sight takes over the Alpha’s senses 

and Chanyeol doesn’t know what takes over him but he straightens his back, and he stops thrusting for a moment, chest heaving, his omega’s scent filling up the space in between them, filling up every crevices within his soul and Chanyeol lays a strong hand on top of Baekhyun’s ass, fondling, jaw clenching at the sight of the wet rim, slick seeping out and he presses his fingertip against it.

Baekhyun tenses and then a shiver visibly runs up his spine.

Chanyeol swallows. “Can I—”

“Yes, Alpha, please— Ah!”

Chanyeol grinds his hips, his thick finger inside of Baekhyun’s pulsating warmth, sliding in and out easily, just like his cock sliding easily in between thick, soft thighs. There’s a strain on his wrist and on his heart from being held hostage by Baekhyun’s scent, his moans, his beauty. 

The Alpha’s body is tight with want, with all of his strength being focused on snapping his hips against his omega’s ass and everything is so, so hot, as if buckets of hot water and summer days has been spilled on top of Chanyeol and he works his mouth and jaw tightly, his arms straining, the raw power from his body shimmering underneath his sweaty, golden skin.

It’s so much, too much and yet Chanyeol wants more more more more he wants to claim Baekhyun, wants to breed him, wants to spend the rest of his life writing stories of desire and passion onto the omega’s pilant body. 

Chanyeol thrusts into Baekhyun’s thighs roughly, once, twice and the tension within him breaks and he cums, spilling onto the towel underneath the both of them, cock squished in between soft, tender flesh. 

The Alpha leans his large frame above Baekhyun’s, pressing his sweaty, broad chest against the Omega’s back, arms on either side, holding himself up. Chanyeol groans deeply as more cum shoots out of his cock, hanging his head just above Baekhyun, who was trembling. 

Concern for his mate’s well being courses through his veins but Chanyeol finds that he can’t right now because it’s taking everything in him to stop himself from knotting. 

His jaw is tight, his body rigid as he fights off the familiar sensation in his lower abdomen, the feeling of something missing , and the primal side of Chanyeol doesn’t understand, Baekhyun is taking his cock in, he has to knot him, has to breed him. 

“Chan— ”

“Don’t move,” Chanyeol tells Baekhyun, voice choked as if he had swallowed a handful of cigarettes. “Or I might knot your thighs.”

He feels Baekhyun exhale shakily and Chanyeol moans when he feels more cum coming out, when he feels Baekhyun’s fresh, yet heavy scent blooming around them. 

It takes everything and a handful of planets for Baekhyun to stop himself from scooping up Chanyeol’s cum off the worn out towel with two fingers and shoving them inside of himself. 

As he watches Chanyeol stuff the towel into the gym bag, Baekhyun can’t help but think it’s such a waste. There should be cum trailing down his thighs along with his slick, he should be stuffed with cum, not that stupid gym bag. 

Baekhyun grips the hem of Chanyeol’s workout shirt. It’s fresh, very big on him but it smells like Chanyeol. 

He smells like Chanyeol and the realization of this has a field of tulips and pride blooming within him. 

He smells like Chanyeol. 

He’s going to be Chanyeol’s mate. 

Baekhyun feels a grin stretching his lips and he feels so giddy all of a sudden and he wants to jump Chanyeol, wants to press kisses, he wants to hold hands and he wants a mating bite on his neck, wants to bathe in the inevitable pain and pleasure. 

Baekhyun feels so overwhelmed, and he always does around Chanyeol’s presence, always feels like floating whenever he glances at the Alpha but this feels different, somehow more vulnerable, more tender and there’s an urge to cry for some odd reason. 

Is it because he was finally able to feel Chanyeol without the barrier of clothes? Or is it because he had wanted Chanyeol to cum inside of him and not on an undeserving towel?

Baekhyun watches as Chanyeol slips on his shirt, black, fitting nicely around his strong, broad shoulders, his nice waist, covering the sun kissed valleys and grooves of his body, taunt and hard. Baekhyun wants to tell Chanyeol to take it off, that he doesn’t need it but he stops when the thought of someone seeing Chanyeol, his mate , half naked, draws upon him.

The fact that they were in a public, open space had somehow escaped Baekhyun. It’s a miracle no one saw them but it’s obvious. Their scent has settled heavily within the air, thick, rich with pheromones. 

It’s mostly Baekhyun’s scent. Chanyeol is still on his suppressants and Baekhyun hasn’t taken them yet because of his heat–

Baekhyun breathes in a mixture of realization and excitement.  

His heat. He had forgotten that it’s supposed to happen a week earlier, in a day or so. That’s why he had been feeling overwhelmed, why he had felt like crying if he didn’t stuff Chanyeol’s cum within him. 

“Do the shorts fit?” Chanyeol asks, swinging the gym bag over his broad shoulder. There’s a faint flush to his face and he very obviously sniffs the air around Baekhyun. 

“Yeol.” Baekhyun says, not bothering to hide the renewed passion making him feel grounded and like he’s floating at the same time. “I think my heat is going to start in a few hours.”

And there’s a small smile on Baekhyun’s swollen lips, a pride tilt to it, smug when he takes in Chanyeol’s reaction, dark, sensual, predatory almost. 

Baekhyun absolutely loves it and he makes no effort in hiding it, in hiding his arousal, the hitch in Chanyeol’s breathing only encourages him. He makes his way towards the Alpha, swaying his hips almost, despite the fact that he’s never done it before. 

It feels like something has taken over him, this— this sort of ego trip from knowing that before the sun sets, he could be mated. God, Baekhyun can’t wait to feel a pleasurable throbbing on his neck and in between his legs. 

Baekhyun slides his hands underneath Chanyeol’s shirt, bold, his chest scorching from confidence. 

“Will you take care of me, Alpha? ” Baekhyun asks, flickering his eyes from Chanyeol’s neck to his swollen lips, to his strong, yet desperate gaze. 

“Of course.” Chanyeol’s voice dips Baekhyun into honey and heavy arousal. “Let’s go home.”

It’s a struggle, walking back. 

They hold hands, palms kissing, fingers intertwining, steadying Baekhyun in this increasing swaying world. 

He’s hyper aware of his body now, the shimmering underneath his skin, the anticipation. His heart pounds wildly, steadfast, and it grows more violent with each nervous smile Chanyeol flashes at him. 

Baekhyun knows Chanyeol is nervous. And… it’s endearing. Sweet. It feels nice, as if to Chanyeol, it’s not about having sex, it’s about having sex with his mate. 

Baekhyun picks up his pace, eager. He almost trips over an overgrown tree root but he doesn’t care for it because Chanyeol has his arm around his waist immediately. 

Chanyeol’s rich yet still faint scent settles onto Baekhyun, sinking into his skin and leaving behind a wonderful burn that screams both want and protection. A large, strong hand is pressed against his clothed stomach and Baekhyun finds himself swallowing, breath shaky from the action. 

It feels powerful. Hot. Just so fucking hot. There is heat clawing at Baekhyun’s stomach, whispering against his skin, the places where Chanyeol had kissed, had bitten and licked a mere hour ago. 

“Are you alright?” Chanyeol asks, looking down with concern but there’s also tension in between his brows, the sharp line of his jawline, the captivating curve of his neck. 

“Yes,” Baekhyun breathes, almost choking when he feels slick start to leak from him once more. 

He sees the exact moment Chanyeol realizes it as well. “Love—”

“Alpha,” Baekhyun interrupts and he wants to whine, beg. “Yeol, please I— we need to hurry. ”

Driving back is torture. 

It’s absolute torture sitting so close, in a confined space where Baekhyun can see the tension dancing in the air and he swears he can hear Chanyeol’s heart pounding. He glances over at his Alpha. 

There is a pretty sunset in the background but it is nothing compared to Chanyeol’s side profile, the slope of his nose, the sharpness of his cheekbones, the kind of beauty and attractiveness that seems only possible in paintings. 

There is a shift within Baekhyun when he notices how tense Chanyeol is. The way he grips the steering wheel, the strain present throughout his body, the way he keeps clenching and unclenching his jaw. There’s a careful air around him, evident in the way that he purposely avoids looking at Baekhyun for more than a few seconds. As if he’s holding himself back. 

The implication of all of this causes warm honey to stir within Baekhyun. 

He knows he’s the cause of it. 

His scent is everywhere, filling everything, drawing out this response from Chanyeol. And he’s proud of it, proud of being able to affect Chanyeol so much because he’s affected too. 

Baekhyun glances down to his lap, at his tighty clasped hands. 

Chanyeol’s scent is suffocating, so, so heavy, threatening to break Baekhyun until he is a whisper of what he once was, until his skin is on fire and his lungs choke on the sheer strength emitting from the Alpha.  

Chanyeol’s suppressants are no longer working and Baekhyun wants to believe that it’s because of him, because of his heat and he’s probably right and it makes him feel smug. It’s odd feeling this way, being so confident and yet how could he not feel this way when Chanyeol has made it clear over and over again that he loves Baekhyun, that he finds him endearing, and wants to hold his heart. 

Baekhyun breathes in deeply, not bothering on subtlety and Chanyeol’s scent wraps itself around his bones, squeezing and claiming every corner of his being with the promise of claiming, of being loved and protected for the rest of his life. 

Lust and affection marry each other, making a home next to Baekhyun’s uncontrollable heart.

God, he doesn’t know if he can keep it together any longer. What if they stopped for a bit? Parked somewhere and allowed Chanyeol to have him right here in the car? Yes that sounds like a good idea… 

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol says suddenly. His voice is strained, displaying anguish that feels touchable. He’s still looking forward to the traffic while Baekhyun waits in anticipation. “Your scent… fuck , we’re almost home okay? I’ll prepare your nest—”

“In your room,” Baekhyun interrupts, heart trembling. “Please, I just really need you.”

Chanyeol exhales shakily. Tightens his hold on the steering wheel. “I need you too.”

And when they stop at a traffic light, Chanyeol turns to Baekhyun, gently cupping his face with one hand, warm, and caring, with want and possessiveness. 

Baekhyun is absolutely floored by the action, by the emotions behind it, of the feeling of a thumb pressing against his bottom lip. He meets Chanyeol’s eyes, heat flourishing inside of him from the heavy gaze, the want in his dark eyes burning his soul. 

Chanyeol caresses Baekhyun’s lips, swiping his thumb against them. Baekhyun wants to touch him too. 

“We’ll be home soon,” Chanyeol promises. 

“Is this good enough?” Chanyeol asks, awkwardly yet seriously, standing near the bed in his room, natural light from the outside dimming the room. 

Baekhyun glances at the pile of sheets and hoodies arranged comfortably on the bed. His heart trembles a bit, aching from how obvious Chanyeol is in love with him, his tenderness, his caring nature. It’s moving, being on the receiving end of it. It makes him feel as if he’s stuffed with clouds. 

“Yes, it’s perfect.” Baekhyun tells him, offering up a smile. “And I appreciate it Alpha but I don’t want to spend my heat just nesting.”

The way Chanyeol kisses him, pressing hot desire and affection with his lips and hands has Baekhyun choking, gasping for more of his scent, swept away from the exhilaration of the moment. 

He bites down gently onto Chanyeol’s bottom lip as he leans more back against the plush pillows, caged in by muscular arms as Chanyeol trails his hands back up until he’s taking Baekhyun’s face into his hands, moving his lips more desperately, more urgent, manifesting the desperation they both so clearly feel. 

Chanyeol pulls slightly at Baekhyun’s bottom lip and Baekhyun breathes in sharply, feels wave after wave of molten lava sourcing his skin and he wants to rub his thighs together but Chanyeol’s knee is in between them. 

And then Chanyeol grabs him by the chin and gently forces his mouth open, skillfully slipping his tongue inside and it’s so hot, the action pairing with the want and dominance seeping into the Alpha’s scent. Baekhyun lets out faint sounds, whimpers and gasps, and Chanyeol doesn’t stop, he keeps tasting Baekhyun, kissing him with a want and sensuality that leaves Baekhyun trembling.

The hands on his face are hot, possessive and Baekhyun finds himself at the mercy of Chanyeol’s lips being pressed over and over against his own, further encouraging the mess his heart has become. Baekhyun wants more more more, he wants his lips to be swollen, he wants to take off his clothes and press himself against Chanyeol until he has memorized every single curve, every single shiver of his body–

Chanyeol pulls back slightly, gaze hazy and he leans forward and kisses the tip of Baekhyun’s nose. 

Baekhyun blushes. Faint rose petals dancing on his cheeks, dipped in the immense affection Chanyeol has for him. 

Fuck, he loves him so much, his heart is aching so much that his ribs are starting to crack and there’s catastrophe after catastrophe, caused by way Chanyeol tenderly, lovingly, presses his lips against his cheek bones, the corner of Baekhyun’s lips and then lower, his jawline, the side of his neck all while hovering above him, his broad and strong structure offering protection.

Baekhyun feels like his insides are about to collapse from the weight of Chanyeol’s love and he’s shocked by the sincerity he feels despite the fact that it’s always been there, present with every kiss and every lingering touch— 

Baekhyun wants him. He wants everything that Chanyeol can give him, he wants to be unraveled by warm hands and feel his bones ignite from deep moans but more than that, Baekhyun wants to be with Chanyeol for a very, very long time. He wants everything, the ups and downs, pups, he— he wants all of it.

Baekhyun reaches down and cups Chanyeol’s face, bringing him up until they are face to face, close enough that their lips are millimeters away from brushing together. 

“Bite me.” Baekhyun breathes out.

“What if it’s too soon?” Chanyeol asks, his deep voice dropping to a whisper.

Baekhyun stills. “What do you mean?” There's a panic within him, insecurity. “I thought—”

“I mean, what if it hurts?” Chanyeol’s eyes are painted with worry. “You haven’t completely entered your heat yet.”

“Chanyeol, please. I want to remember it, I want to feel everything.”

“I could hurt you—”

“I want to be claimed.” Baekhyun repeats, more steady this time, heart twirling, lungs struggling. He builds a bridge in between his and Chanyeol’s eyes. “I want to wake up tomorrow with your bite and your cum inside of me.”

Chanyeol’s breath hitches and he rasps out, “How can you say that?”

“Because it’s true,” Baekhyun says with a gentle curve to his lips. And then softly, he asks, “Will you be gentle?”

“Yes.” Chanyeol promises, voice thick with restrained emotions. “I’ll be gentle.”

Baekhyun feels as if he’s burning on the inside. 

Chanyeol is so close, fuck he’s everywhere, there warm hands touching his waist, his stomach, writing stories of passion onto Baekhyun’s skin and there are lips on one of his nipples, a thumb caressing his hip bone, a musky, heavy scent clinging to his skin that is so intent on engraving itself into Baekhyun so that it will never, ever leave. 

Baekhyun gasps, tightening his fingers around Chanyeol’s hair as wet warmth moves onto his other nipple, a tongue flicking at it and the hand on his hip has moved to Baekhyun’s straining cock, stroking it once, twice. 

But it’s not enough, it only gives him a miniscule amount of the pleasure he will feel. Baekhyun withers underneath Chanyeol, naked and accepting of any and all types of touches and kisses but right now, he wants to feel lips on his rim, his poor rim that won’t stop leaking. 

He tries to voice out his desire but it’s hard to do when the only word his mouth wants to say is Chanyeol, Chanyeol, Chanyeol.

 “Ah!” Baekhyun cries out when he feels a gentle bite on his nipple. 

Chanyeol licks the bud tenderly, warm, lingering, like the last rays of sunlight outside.

Baekhyun swallows, throat clenching when Chanyeol continues to lazily stroke him and he wraps his arms around the Alpha, the tips of his fingers digging into the taunt skin. 

“Does it feel good?” Chanyeol rasps, eyes flickering up. 

“Yes,” Baekhyun whimpers, “b-but can you touch me down there?”

“I already am,” Chanyeol responds, a fond, playful quirk on his lips. 

“You know what I mean,” Baekhyun chokes out, resisting the urge to squirm from Chanyeol’s intense gaze, his heart pounding furiously against his chest when he feels Chanyeol’s warm hand travel lower. 

Baekhyun feels as if he has swallowed thousands of suns, gasping when he finally feels a finger near his rim, circling it, spreading the almost obscene amount of slick pouring out of it. 

Chanyeol is no longer hovering above him, his back is straight, looking down at the smooth expanse of naked skin. Baekhyun’s legs are spread as much as he could, one of Chanyeol’s hands on his thighs helping him but he still has a ridiculous urge to push his legs together, to cover his cock straining against his stomach. 

It’s irrational. This is Chanyeol, his mate, the man he has come to love. And yet, he’s nervous.

When Chanyeol’s finger penetrates him, it feels odd, there was a borderline uncomfortable stretch to it. Baekhyun stared at the expanse of strength Chanyeol’s body displayed as he felt the finger withdrawing, pulling back before thrusting back it. 

Baekhyun’s breath hitched, hands clenching around the sheets underneath him. 

Chanyeol looked up, concerned. “Should I stop?”

“No, it’s okay.” Baekhyun uttered, stomach tense. “It’s not painful, it just… feels weird.”

Chanyeol nodded, looking down in between Baekhyun’s obscenely spread legs. The Omega felt his face grow warm, knowing Chanyeol would be able to see it even in the dim moonlight. 

“Tell me if it hurts,” Chanyeol says, his voice deep with concern. 

He moves his finger again, in and out of Baekhyun, slow and with purpose, gaze never leaving Baekhyun’s face, most likely searching for any sign of discomfort. 

Baekhyun swallowed, red paint spilling onto his cheeks. “Stop staring.”

Chanyeol grins softly, dimple flashing. “Why? I like looking at you.”

Baekhyun’s heart jerks. 

“It’s… embarrassing,” He mutters, looking away, trying to calm his heart that has been beating hashly non-stop. 

Suddenly Chanyeol leans down, hovering above Baekhyun and he dips down, pressing his lips against Baekhyun’s softly, pulling back before Baekhyun could kiss back. 

He’s leaning in carefully, breathing unevenly, hands still on Baekhyun’s thighs, warm and grounding. His expression is fond, eyes drowning in lust and affection, his scent settling deep within Baekhyun’s soul. 

“You’re gorgeous,” Chanyeol whispers. “Absolutely beautiful.”

Baekhyun can feel hearts beating in between them and Chanyeol is so close, so, so handsome and loving and Baekhyun doesn’t understand why he hasn’t melted right into the sheets yet. 

Chanyeol dips down again and again and again, each time pressing his soft, short kisses onto Baekhyun’s swollen lips, onto the trembling mess that is his heart. It’s sweet, like sugary clouds, a striking contrast against the Alpha’s scent, his muscular body, the feel of his hands caressing plush thighs and his hard cock, brushing against Baekhyun’s. 

And then one kiss lingers longer than the others before Chanyeol pulls back, just enough for the words Tell me if you want to stop to caress Baekhyun’s lips before sliding in two thick fingers inside of the omega. 

Baekhyun gasps at the feeling of being worked open slowly, pleasurable heat slowly building up within him, closing his eyes at the sensation. 

And Chanyeol kisses him again.

Softly.

Then everything changes. 

Baekhyun inhales sharply when Chanyeol’s fingers start thrusting into him faster, deeper and he opens his mouth to let out moans but then Chanyeol kisses him, completely different than before. 

These kisses are stronger, more desperate in the manner in which Chanyeol sucks on Baekhyun’s lips, the way Chanyeol slides his tongue into his mouth, tasting him again and again as if he still can’t believe that he has baekhyun in his arms, as if he’s dying to memorize the feel of their lips together, the feel of warm, tight walls around his fingers. 

Baekhyun starts moving against the Alpha’s hand, bucking his hips upward, his cock a mere whisper away Chanyeol’s and everything is building up, stacks on stacks of emotions and pleasure.

He whimpers into the kiss, the sound mixing in with their tongues inside of each other's mouths, with the way the taste of Chanyeol is driving Baekhyun crazy. 

“Yeol,” Baekhyun whispers against perfectly sculpted lips. 

“Can I add another finger?" Chanyeol says in a devastatingly deep voice.

Baekhyun nods, chest heaving, breath shuddering. 

It had taken several kisses and reassurances from Baekhyun to convince Chanyeol that he can fuck him now. 

“Are you sure?” Chanyeol whispers, looking down with a sincere and intense gaze.

“Yes,” Baekhyun whispers back. “Please, Chanyeol, I want you and— and I think my heat is here.”

Baekhyun swallows, feeling suns spreading throughout him and everything feels hot, scorching and all of his senses are in tune with Chanyeol, every breath he draws in and his cock is aching, his rim wet with the copious amount of slick coming out of him. He feels intoxicated, as if the world has taken on a slight tilt, fuzzy and he can feel himself slowly falling apart underneath Chanyeol’s hands. 

“Just— take me—”

And Chanyeol does.

Baekhyun presses his fingers into Chanyeol’s muscular back, crying out into the curve of his Alpha’s strained neck, the stretch is agonizingly wonderful, the ache within him soothed out with the feeling of a thick cock stretching his walls, with the feeling of being forced to accommodate to Chanyeol, it’s too much and there's something hot stirring within him, caused by Chanyeol’s groans of you feel so good and fuck, Baek—!

“Move,” Baekhyun gasps, feeling as if there are millions of butterflies in his chest and a supernova has exploded within him.

With one leg propped over his broad shoulder, Chanyeol pulls his hips back before slamming them against the roundness of Baekhyun’s ass and he does it again and again and again, dragging out Baekhyun’s pleasure, pushing him upward with each thrust, stretching him open;

And he doesn’t stop, god don’t stop Chanyeol, and Baekhyun is struggling to remember a time where he wasn’t crying and moaning, a time where he didn’t know the feeling of cock, the feeling of being fucked into and there’s pleasure everywhere, suffocating him, strangling him, dumping him into a an ocean of desire and scorching honey. 

With every snap of hips against his ass, with the feeling of hard muscles slamming into soft, round butt cheeks, Baekhyun feels like a burst of heat is about to take over him and he’s holding tightly onto Chanyeol, his nails digging into taunt golden skin, another hand trails down to cup Chanyeol’s ass and pressing him closer, Baekhyun needs more, faster, harder!

Chanyeol moves Baekhyun’s leg a little, reaching down briefly to swipe a thumb across Baekhyun’s aching cock before snapping his hips again, with more intent and the omega realises that intent when he feels a burst of pleasure.

It’s— It’s amazing, as if his heart exploded and his skin tingles and his spine, his bones are shaking, his gaze unfocused as the head of Chanyeol’s cock keeps pressing smugly against Baekhyun’s prostate. 

“Feels good?” The Alpha utters into Baekhyun’s ear, his deep voice shaking the omega. 

“Y-Yeah,” Baekhyun moans into Chanyeol’s sweaty neck, the pitch rising when he feels the hardness of Chanyeol’s hip bones against his ass, a thick cock forcing his poor hole open, hitting his prostate over and over.

Chanyeol pulls back a little, giving Baekhyun a smug, half grin, sweat gathering on his forehead. “Good.”

The sight of it has Baekhyun whimpering, fuck how can someone be so attractive, so handsome? He clenches his wet rim, resisting the urge to rub his thighs together.

“Fuck,” Chanyeol moans, slowing his thrusts slightly. 

Baekhyun takes this opportunity to ask softly, “Can you claim me now?”

“Mhm, soon,” Chanyeol mutters, pressing a kiss on Baekhyun’s swollen, pink lips. “When I knot you.”

Being knotted felt both painful and euphoric. 

Baekhyun struggles to inhale, struggles to remember how his lungs are supposed to work because he’s just so full and he feels the warm cum shooting inside of him and he feels an ache within him, a light soreness. He can feel Chanyeol against the opening of his womb and if he hadn’t been on birth control, the knot would have entered. 

Above him, Chanyeol’s chest is heaving, rising and falling mocking the moon and the sun and he’s groaning and moaning low as he continues to grind his hips against Baekhyun’s ass, pleasure shooting up the omega’s spine.

Baekhyun moans, wrapping his legs around the Alpha’s waist, burying his face into the broad chest in front of him, his hole stretched and leaking, his cock still straining against his stomach.

“C-Chan—” Baekhyun cuts himself off when the knot is somehow pressed even more smug against his womb and it causes fireworks to shoot up his veins as cum continues to fill him up and he clenches his legs around Chanyeol’s waist, clenches his rim against the base of the Alpha’s cock, not wanting a single drop to leave him. 

And while his entire body is vibrating with pleasure, he still feels something missing—

Suddenly there’s a hand under his chin, pushing it gently to the side and Chanyeol is hovering above the curve of Baekhyun’s skin and the omega’s hazy eyes widen, wrapping his arms around Chanyeol’s muscular back and pressing him close, anticipation dancing on his skin, stomach slowly becoming swollen from cum—

Chanyeol’s retracted fangs break Baekhyun’s skin, sinking deep and in that painfilled moment, Baekhyun cummed, crying out from the outworldly pleasure that suddenly molding itself around his being, pulsating within him, in the air between them;

And Baekhyun feels like sobbing, feels like he’s floating and sinking to hundreds of oceans made up of Chanyeol’s warmth, his scent, his smile and pretty, earnest eyes, in the tenderness and affection and fondness he so obviously has for him—

Chanyeol sinks his teeth deeper, his cock pressing against Baekhyun walls, his scent building and building and Baekhyun manages to press them even closer together, manages to blur the lines in between them, arms and legs around this man, this beautiful, powerful, amazing man;

And he can feel Chanyeol’s heart racing against his own, and the knowledge that it’s because of  him moves him and Baekhyun really thinks he’s about to cry  

He’s finally realized that all the bad things that had happened, all of his nightmares and worries no longer exist, they were no longer real, the only thing real is now, this, the feeling of Chanyeol in his arms, inside of him, pressing loving kisses against his fresh claiming mark.

And Baekhyun feels like he’s falling apart, falling apart right into Chanyeol’s heart and his love.

Baekhyun is on the verge of passing out when his fangs slip out and he sinks them into the strong, golden curve of Chanyeol’s neck. 

Chanyeol growls into the pillow Baekhyun’s head is on, tensing before relaxing and the omega lets go, blood in his mouth as he gasps, feeling Chanyeol cum once again inside of him, filling him up to the brim, marking him, threatening to breed him.

Baekhyun sinks his teeth back in, moaning from the pure exhilaration of claiming his Alpha, of being stretched, of having cum and a knot pressing against his prostate almost arrogantly. He feels Chanyeol relax, feels his warm breath against his ear, near his own throbbing mating mark.

Baekhyun retracts his fangs, licking his tongue against the wound, wanting it to look pretty, wanting everyone to see it and know that his Alpha is taken, that his Alpha has a mate and maybe, later, pups.

“You did so good,” Chanyeol whispers, lips brushing against Baekhyun's aching mark. “I love you.”

And with a breathless, strangled voice, Baekhyun says, “I love you too, Yeol.”

When Baekhyun wakes up, he registers many things.

His entire body is deliciously sore. There’s a satisfying ache on his neck, his lips and his rim. 

Chanyeol’s cock is hard inside of him. 

Last night, after the knot had gone down as they kissed softly, Chanyeol had scooped his cum out of Baekhyun, cleaned them up and changed the sheets. The omega had begged for Chanyeol to fill him up again, knowing in the morning, he’ll be in heat and because he liked it. 

And Baekhyun had been right, his mind is fuzzy, full only of thoughts of Chanyeol, of the strong arms around his waist, the heavy, warm hand resting on his stomach, the press of lips against the back of his shoulder, the nape of his neck.

With molten lava swirling in his abdomen and butterflies in his chest, Baekhyun slowly turned around, wanting to face his mate and see his face and exchange good mornings before he became too lucid. 

“Careful,” Chanyeol says, his deep voice sending shivers down Baekhyun’s spine. 

With Chanyeol’s help, Baekhyun manages to turn around, slowly, muscles still tender, without the thick cock pressing against his walls slipping out.

Baekhyun’s heart trembles in his chest as he meets warm, earnest eyes.

The sun is barely coming up, reluctant to show itself and be compared to Chanyeol’s bright yet shy smile. 

“Hi.” He whispers, a bruising bite on his neck and soft hair covering his forehead. His smile is endearing, charming.

“Hi.” Baekhyun grins back, unable to stop his lips from stretching wide, despite their soreness.

“Did you sleep well?” Chanyeol’s honey warm voice washes over Baekhyun.

“Mhmm,” Baekhyun voices, reaching up and looping his arms around Chanyeol’s neck. He buries his face into Chanyeol’s neck, lips pressing gently against the claiming mark. Pride blooms in his chest. 

The alpha’s breath hitches for a moment or two as Baekhyun continues to press lingering kisses, eyes closed, head spinning from the heavy scent. Only, there seems to be a shift within Chanyeol’s scent, within his demeanor and body. It’s subtle, the way his breathing is a bit heavier, the way he’s actively sniffing Baekhyun, the slight rise in his body temperature, the hardness of his cock as it presses against Baekhyun’s womb. 

Baekhyun pulls back slightly, already feeling his awareness fade away slowly, lust taking over the forefront of his consciousness, 

“Are you in rut?” Baekhyun asks, his heart shaking almost violently. 

Chanyeol nods into the curve of Baekhyun’s neck, his soft, disheveled hair tickling a bit. 

“And you’re in heat,” Chanyeol murmurs, sounding tense. 

It takes Baekhyun a moment to pull his thoughts together, to look past the ever increasing haze of lust. He bites his lip when Chanyeol kisses his still tender mark.

“We need to get up,” He manages to say. “We need to… brush our teeth and… grab some snacks…”

Chanyeol says nothing, continuing to press open mouthed kisses, hands caressing Baekhyun’s naked back.

“Channie?” Baekhyun asks, the nickname heavy on his tongue. 

He feels one last lingering kiss just above his mating mark. 

“Let’s go.” Chanyeol says deeply. 

Time passes by quickly. 

It’s filled with soft touches, delicate kisses, gentle smiles and lingering gazes. And then it widens its scope, filling up with Baekhyun meeting Chanyeol’s parents, Chanyeol going back to school in Autumn and then, after a few moon phases pass, Baekhyun decides to sign up for college as well. 

They had some classes together, the general ones but because Chanyeol had two years ahead of Baekhyun, there weren’t many. However that doesn’t stop the Alpha from taking other classes, classes that he technically didn’t need for his major. 

Like Chem II, Chanyeol had already taken Chem I but when he found out Baekhyun was taking it for his major, the Alpha had gone online and proudly announced that he was also taking that class.  

It’s endearing, it makes Baekhyun feel warm inside. But he can’t help but feel guilty when he watches his mate struggle a bit. 

“It’s so confusing,” Chanyeol usually says, pouting while sitting on the kitchen table, books and papers in front of him. 

Baekhyun would look over and with a soft voice say, “Silly Alpha, you were using the wrong equation…”

But it wasn’t just Chanyeol who desired to spend as much time with his mate. 

Baekhyun had blushed when he told Chanyeol that for his second semester, he signed up for a music theory class.

“I hope I got the right time and dates,” He had told him, trying to push off the rose petals settling on his cheek bones. 

“Cute,” Chanyeol had told him with a crooked grin and hands on his hips, brushing against his ass.

Baekhyun’s face had grown even more warm.

“You’re adorable,” Chanyeol had said after kissing Baekhyun tenderly.

Years later, when Chanyeol has already graduated and has been working at an entertainment company as a producer for two years and Baekhyun is about to graduate with his second degree, they decide to try for pups. 

And despite having been reluctant in the past and scared, Baekhyun finds himself wishing they had tried before for the mere fact that Chanyeol had become more… dominant in bed. 

He still takes care of Baekhyun, still works Baekhyun’s mouth and rim open tenderly but the moment he slips his cock into Baekhyun, there is change, a shift in the air. 

He fucks Baekhyun hard, makes him feel it, rails him onto the bed, bites and nips at smooth skin, snaps his hips in a precise manner, leaving Baekhyun feeling like he’s about to combust, leaving him gasping, struggling to do anything other than moan and cry, struggling to keep up, to the point where the omega merely allows Chanyeol to do all the work, reduced to a sobbing mess as pleasure fills up every single space within his body. 

“Chanyeol—!” Baekhyun moans, face hanging in between his arms, legs spread wide, thighs shaking as Chanyeol fucks into him, strong hands groping his ass.

“Fuck you feel so good,” A deep voice says above him, strained and heavy, “You’ll look so pretty after I breed you, so pretty, just for me.”

“Just for you,” Baekhyun whimpers but it’s broken, cries of pleasure forcing it’s away in between those words as a thick cock pushes and pulls harder, faster, as the hands on his ass tighten with possessiveness. “Breed me, Alpha, please, I’ll take care of your pups, I’ll protect them i-inside of me oh god!”

Being knotted gives Baekhyun the feeling of constellations and planets colliding against one another, gives him the feeling of burning up from the feeling of intense pleasure that has his toes curling, his insides quivering. 

Half a year passes. Six months of trying. When Baekhyun’s heat had come after the first few weeks of trying, he had been severely disappointed. 

He had felt as if he had let down his Alpha and he wanted to cry because he had known how much Chanyeol wants this and Baekhyun wants it so bad too, he wants to start a family with the man whom he is so proud of calling his mate. 

Chanyeol had merely kissed Baekhyun over and over, lips lingering, warm and full of affection. 

“Hey, don’t worry about it.” Chanyeol had told him, one thumb grazing Baekhyun’s cheek bone, the other resting on his bottom lip. “We’ll keep trying, we aren’t in a rush.”

The memory fades away as Baekhyun looks down at the four pregnancy tests on the bathroom counter, a smile spreading across his face, god he can’t stop smiling but he doesn’t wish to because he’s pregnant, oh god I’m pregnant!!

There’s a happy giggle bubbling in Baekhyun’s throat and spilling out of his lips. 

“Holy shit,” Baekhyun says out loud in the empty bathroom. “I’m pregnant, we’re— we’re going to be parents!!”

His first reaction is to call Chanyeol and tell him the amazing news but he knows it’s better to tell him in person. He glances at his phone on the counter. The alpha should be home in two hours, yes, he should wait but fuck his heart is beating so loudly and he’s just so happy . 

Baekhyun had always feared becoming a parent, had always worried that having a pup would only force him to stay with his mate who would have been a stranger. But he had met Chanyeol and he had fallen in love, had learned what unconditional love is, real love, not the false and unhealthy type he had been surrounded by before. 

And he doesn’t feel as if he has to do this, as if having a family is the next rational step within their relationship– Baekhyun wants this. When he had told Chanyeol, back when they first mated, that he wanted everything, he meant everything . 

And they’ve had their ups and downs, had their fair share of arguments but the dynamic between them, the love, the affection, the passion has remained the same even after the hundreds of times the moon fell and the sun had risen.

Baekhyun glances once again at his phone. Only three minutes have passed and he feels as if time is mocking him.

He wants to tell someone so bad but Sehun is at work and Minseok is too. 

A thought drifts through his mind. 

Baekhyun bites the inside of his cheek, debating if he should call his dad.

They haven’t talked over the years, nor has Baekhyun gone back to his old pack for more than a handful of times over the years. It’s odd now. Different. They had been close during his childhood and the years leading up to his third Blue Moon but have grown apart. 

It was inevitable really, with the way things are tense between Baekhyun and his mother. 

But… it would be nice to talk to his dad. God the last time they talked was months ago, when his dad had called him the first time, telling Baekhyun in an excited and hopeful voice that he had acquired a phone.

Before he can talk himself out of it, Baekhyun unlocks his phone, scrolling through his contacts.

Moments later, there is a ringing inside the empty bathroom, the speaker feature on. 

“Hello?” A familiar, gentle voice answers. 

“Hi Dad,” Baekhyun says, nervously wringing his fingers. 

“Baekhyunnie! I’m so happy you called, how are you?” The excitement in his dad’s voice encourages Baekhyun, easing his nerves a little.

“I’m okay,” He waits a moment. “Actually, I’m more than okay I–” A grin breaks apart his lips. “I just found out I’m carrying.”

There’s a brief moment of silence. Then there’s a gasp. “Really?? Wow, I’m so happy for you!! Congratulations Baekkie!! Have you told Chanyeol?”

“Not yet,” Baekhyun says, happy about his dad’s reaction, his grin even more wide. “I found out a few minutes ago, I’m waiting for him to come home.”

Baekhyun freezes when he catches the faint scent of his alpha and the sound of locks turning. He quickly finishes tying up the golden ribbon around the pretty box he had found. 

The door to the apartment opens and as usual, a deep, warm voice calls out, “I’m home!”

Baekhyun swallows butterflies and tries to bury away his anxiety. There’s nothing to worry about.

“How was work?” Baekhyun says, walking out of the kitchen, the rectangle box in his hand, trying to hold it subtly.

Chanyeol pouts, a few strands of dark hair falling into his face. “I missed you.”

And then he slips off his shoes, making his way towards Baekhyun quickly, his casual button up shifting, strained against his muscular chest. 

He takes Baekhyun into his arms easily, naturally like when the sky embraces the stars. He buries his face into the omega’s neck, kissing the mating mark as he always does, hands resting on hips. 

Baekhyun wraps his arms around Chanyeol’s broad back, careful to not brush the box against him. He waits until Chanyeol is satisfied with the amount of kisses he presses onto his neck, warmth pooling inside of him from the action so clearly filled with love. 

And then, as always, Chanyeol leans back slightly, just enough to dip down and kiss Baekhyun. 

The kiss is warm, it breathes life into Baekhyun, makes him feel as if he’s eaten a handful of clouds and fields of flowers. Chanyeol works his lips against Baekhyun’s tenderly, taking them in between his own, biting gently and sliding his tongue into Baekhyun’s mouth when the omega willingly allows him in. 

They kiss slowly but still desperately, even after doing this a thousand times. Baekhyun tastes a sweetness to Chanyeol, probably candy and he quickly finds himself struggling to remember why he has lungs in the first place.

When they finally pull away, Chanyeol kisses the tip of Baekhyun’s nose, large hands sliding underneath Baekhyun’s t-shirt. 

“How was your day, my pretty omega?” Chanyeol murmurs looking down at Baekhyun softly, and sincerely.

Butterflies stir within Baekhyun. 

“It was great,” Baekhyun breathes. His heart pounds, heavy in his chest, dancing to the fondness within Chanyeol’s almond shaped eyes. “I got you a present.”

Chanyeol perks up, his fingers barely grazing Baekhyun’s stomach. “Really? What is it?” and then his eyes darken a bit, his demeanor becoming playful. “Is it in the bedroom?”

Baekhyun’s face becomes warm for some reason. 

“Maybe,” He says. “It depends.”

“On what?” Chanyeol asks, playing along.

Baekhyun inhales deeply. His heart twirls. “If you like the first one.”

“Of course I’ll like it,” The Alpha says immediately and then there is a pair of soft, warm hands cradling Baekhyun’s face. “I like anything you give me, love.”

Baekhyun doesn’t say anything, merely removing his arms from around Chanyeol. Chanyeol lets go of Baekhyun, eyes lighting up with curiosity when he locks eyes with the ribbon wrapped box.

“Open it,” Baekhyun says, offering it up to his mate, trying not to let his voice tremble.

He watches  as Chanyeol carefully unties the ribbon, biting down on his lip when the lid is lifted.

It takes Chanyeol a moment, takes him a handful of seconds and the sun’s breath to look into the box. And when he realizes it, he locks gazes with Baekhyun, eyes wide.

“You’re…?”

Baekhyun nods, ribs shaking from the pounding of his heart. 

“I— really?” Chanyeol asks, glancing down at the box and then back at Baekhyun, a grin rapidly making a home onto his face. “Holy shit, baby, you’re pregnant? ”

“Yes!” Baekhyun bursts out, no longer able to hold back his happiness, the mess inside of him only further encouraged by Chanyeol’s reaction. 

Chanyeol lets out a laugh full of joy and exuberance and he yells out, “Oh my god, you’re pregnant!”

Baekhyun is pulled against Chanyeol, feels his body pressing against his alpha’s strong one and he’s grinning so wide it’s starting to hurt and there is a breathless laugh against his ear and then a kiss, one, then two, then three;

Chanyeol is smiling down at him, showing off the stars strug across his lips, adoration filling up his deep dimple and there are hands underneath his shirt once again, lingering on his stomach gently;

and deep, choked words are falling onto Baekhyun’s skin, I’m so, so happy, I love you so much, I’ll take care of both of you, I’ll protect both of you, I love you, thank you so, so much.

Baekhyun feels himself unraveling within strong arms but it’s okay because he knows Chanyeol will hold him together; 

And he thinks he can finally breathe now, after having known Chanyeol’s kisses, his touches, after having heard the Alpha’s heart beat for him, after having felt his love.