Chapter Text
Remus let out a deep exhale as the low buzzing sound washed over him. It wasn’t loud so much as it was all-encompassing, like high-quality surround sound in a movie theatre. The bees’ steady hum became all he could hear, and he relaxed into it. Adrenaline was flowing freely through his body, as it would for any sane person when thousands of honeybees are flying around you, trying to defend their home from any foreign invader. But the unique experience always felt calming to Remus, and it was part of the reason he loved it so much.
He gently lifted one of the frames from the box, checking for general well-being and the presence of any Varroa mites. The mites haven’t been much of a concern this season, but last year one of his hives got infested and he spent way more time than he would like tossing handfuls of bees into glass jars, coating them with powdered sugar, and shaking the poor creatures. Neither the bees nor Remus enjoyed this procedure, but it was an effective way of sampling for mites in other hives without killing any bees.
Remus’s hands were bare. He preferred to work without gloves, since fine motor skills were often required, and he was generally careful enough to not offend any singular bee enough to sting him. He had a beekeeper’s jacket and hood on, however, since he preferred to protect his face from unnecessary risks, no matter how friendly his bees were. Satisfied with the view on the frame, he slid it back into the box, coaxing the occasional bee out of the way with a little “excuse me,” or “ma’am, I am going to have to ask you to move.” He didn’t know if the bees liked his voice or not. Remus knew that bees were not dogs, or children, but he loved the little critters, and found that talking to them came naturally to him.
Once the lid on this particular bee box was back in place, he checked his watch. He had about ten minutes until his visitors arrived. Remus’s little farm and apiculture business hosted a variety of events, mostly school field trips, or the occasional professional development meeting, where a team of white-collar accountant-types would use the company card to have Remus give a tour and then wrap up their day feeling good about their “team bonding” and “improved work-flow” come next Monday.
Today’s visitors were a little unusual. The man who booked the time said he was helping his friend get over his fear of bees, and that Remus could just do what he does for his average middle school field trip. Aside from knowing that both visitors were over the age of eighteen (Remus had had to ask to ensure they would be able to sign their own waivers on site), Remus didn’t know what to expect. He removed his jacket and hood, washed his hands, and took a large sip of the iced coffee he had left on the counter earlier. Remus yawned. The adrenaline rush from working with bees always left him a little tired.
When a blue Prius car rolled down his gravel driveway, Remus stepped outside to meet his presumed visitors. Out of the driver’s side stepped a tall man with square glasses, brown skin, and unruly dark hair—perhaps Desi, Remus thought. Out of the passenger’s side stepped a slightly shorter man, with shoulder-length black hair pulled back into a braid. He had well-defined cheekbones and facial structure, with thin slate-gray eyes.
“Hi, welcome to the Bee Farm! I’m Remus, you folks must be here for the 11-o’clock reservation?” He had started using the word ‘folks’ in an effort to ditch the phrase ‘you guys’ when talking to groups of students, and found that it stuck.
The shorter man stepped forward with a warm smile. “Hi, I’m Sirius. I think we spoke on the phone.”
Remus nodded; his voice sounded familiar. They shook hands.
The other man looked a little apprehensive, but he stepped forward and spoke up as well. “And I’m James Potter, nice to meet you.” Remus shook his hand as well.
“Well,” Remus started, “again, welcome to the farm. I think Sirius said that our goal for today would be getting you more comfortable with bees, James. I just want to make it really clear from the start that no one is going to pressure you to do anything you absolutely don’t want to do, and I’m not going to put you in harm’s way. Although, if we work together hopefully we’ll be able to push you a tiny bit outside of your comfort zone.”
James visibly relaxed, and Remus smiled.
“That sounds good,” James said.
“Alright, then let’s get inside and sign some waivers, and we can talk more about your expectations for this visit.” Remus led them inside to the large kitchen island, where he had already placed waivers and pens in front of two of the stools. As they walked inside, Sirius clapped James on the back encouragingly, and Remus found the supportive gesture very endearing.
The waiver was very straight-forward. It merely stated that the participants agreed to not sue Remus’s farm if they get stung by a bee, or trip and fall down on the premises. He hadn’t added that last part in until a teacher suggested he included something extra before some accident-prone field trip chaperone/soccer-mom character rolls an ankle and decides to cash in.
“Okay, so when I spoke to Sirius on the phone he suggested I go through a normal routine that I would for a school field trip, which I am happy to do, but first, I think I’d like to hear you explain what you are here for, James.”
“Good plan, good plan,” James said, still looking a bit nervous. “Sirius, do you have the list?”
“Sure do,” Sirius said, as he unrolled a lined sheet of paper bearing bold Sharpie letters at the top that read: ‘The Fear Conquerors’ Bucket List.’
“This idea started a month ago,” James began. “Basically, my girlfriend Lily is six months pregnant, and we’re super excited to raise our first child together.” His face lit up with joy.
“Oh, wow, congratulations!” Remus said, not yet sure of how this connected to the man’s fear of bees.
“Stay on track, Jamie-boy,” Sirius prompted.
“Right. Basically, we realized that, when combined, we have a lot of irrational fears, and we don’t want to pass those on to our child. One of mine is bees, which I know isn’t logical, since bees don’t want to sting me, and they’re super important for growing food, but still.” He paused to take a slightly-uneven breath. “I kind of freak out whenever a bee comes near me, and I don’t want to make my baby afraid of something unnecessary just because I am.”
Remus was surprised, and nodded appreciatively. “That’s really thoughtful and sweet of you. I can already tell you will be a very good parent.”
James broke out into a grin. “Only three months away!”
Sirius poked James in the side before drawing attention back to the list. “We’re going to conquer all of our irrational fears before the baby is born; we’ve already done some of them.”
Remus read over the list, and quickly realized that the color-coded paper contained lines for Lily and James, but also Sirius himself. “You’re on the list too?” Remus questioned, looking at Sirius.
“He’s going to be the godfather,” James said proudly, slinging his arm around Sirius’s shoulders.
“Hopefully a good one,” Sirius said in a small voice.
“You will be,” James reassured. “I know it.”
There was a brief pause, and Remus almost felt like he was intruding on a personal moment between the pair. Eventually though, Sirius broke it with a grin. “I will be once I conquer my last fear: the dark,” he declared, pointing at the list.
Remus’s eyebrows raised in minute surprise. He himself had issues with being alone in the dark. But his issue was more linked with being outside and in the dark. Remus’s six-year-old self gave a brief shudder before he regained his composure.
“Alright,” Remus started again, “I’m happy to be able to help you with one of these fears, James. I hope we’ll get to conquer it today. I’d like to start slow, and show you both some tools and equipment that a beekeeper uses, and tell you a bit more about how cool I think honeybees are. Finally, we can suit up and get a closer look at some of the hives.”
Sirius nodded, and James merely swallowed, his dark skin suddenly looking almost as pale as his friend.
“No real bees for a little while though, remember,” Remus assured. “And when we get there, you’ll be totally protected in a full suit with a face cover and everything.”
Remus led them to the large outdoor porch, where shelving housed the gear he showed visitors.
“Now, normally I would ask students to sit cross-legged on the porch right here, but since there are only two of you, and you’re both adults—”
He stopped talking as Sirius promptly sat right in front of him, crossed-legs and all. Remus was about to gesture towards the chairs in the back he usually offered teachers, but Sirius pulled at James’s hand until he was sitting right next to his friend.
“Just act like we’re your students!” Sirius said excitedly. “I want to learn more about bees; I wish I could have gone on a field trip like this during school.”
Remus turned to busy himself with the gear and to hide his smile. Sometimes, older students would be aloof and not participate, thinking they were too cool for the field trip. Remus was glad that the two men who were exactly his own age (they had both written twenty-four on their waivers) were eager and ready to hear him speak. Or, at least one of them was. The other looked like he was still trying to not pass out, but hopefully he would get over that soon.
In the middle of reaching for his first item to show, Remus stopped and turned back around to the other men. He suddenly felt out-of-place, since he wasn’t giving a speech to kids. “Okay, so I have like a whole spiel I would use for kids, but when adults visit they usually just want me to show them the bees and then let them spend the rest of the time talking about work and team bonding or something. I don’t know, I don’t want to bore you or anything?” His tone rose at the end, as the statement turned into a question.
Sirius merely smiled. “No, it’s okay. Just do what you would do for kids.”
“It’s not like you’re any more mature than school children anyway.” James seemed to get some color back in his cheeks as he poked Sirius.
“It takes one to know one!” Sirius declared. When Remus gave a curious look Sirius elaborated. “Oh! I didn’t tell you this yet, but I am studying to be a teacher. Hopefully Kindergarten.”
“Oh that’s awesome!” Remus said. “So then you’ll recognize all the little teaching tips I’ve tried to steal over the years. If I ask you guys a bunch of easy questions about what you may already know about bees would that be okay?”
“Inquiry-based learning!” Sirius announced. “Of course that would be okay. Plus, James and I are pretty competitive, so I’m excited to beat him to the answers.”
“You’re on,” James quickly added.
Remus laughed, “Okay, great. So my first question is always: where do people live?”
Sirius immediately answered, “Cities.”
James laughed. “He means houses, you idiot, not cities.”
Sirius looked slightly embarrassed and offered a small, “Oh, right.”
Remus continued. “And where do bees live?”
“Hives,” James answered, at the same time Sirius said, “Inside James’s pillowcase.”
Remus observed, amused, as the two men briefly wrestled from their cross-legged position on the porch, with little interjections of insults. He wondered if this banter was a part of their everyday friendship, and briefly wanted to know what it would be like to have such a strong connection with another person like that.
“Okay, Sirius, stop, you’re making my headache worse.” Sirius immediately froze, one hand still on James’s head, mid-hair-ruffling.
“You have a headache? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, you berk, let Remus continue.” Remus noted the concern in Sirius’s eyes for his friend, and felt another quick wave of loneliness.
Remus handed over the wooden box, painted a bright teal color. As Sirius and James looked at it, he told them that this box was an example of a home for honeybees. “Wild honeybees may make their nests in places such as hollow trees, or holes in the exteriors of old buildings, but farmed bees live in boxes tended by a beekeeper,” he explained.
“Why is this one blue?” Sirius asked. “I think the bee boxes I’ve seen have always been white.”
“Well, the important part is that they’re painted at all, to help protect the outside of the wood. The bees don’t really mind what color it is, although lighter colors are probably easier for them to find. I paint mine all the different colors of the rainbow.” Remus paused for a second, wondering if the men have guessed his sexuality by now, or if they would judge, before adding, “But I mix the darker colors with a lot of white, to make them all easy to spot in a bee’s view.”
“I like that,” Sirius said with a small smile.
“If I were a bee I would want to live in an orange house,” James declared.
“Bullshit, you would live in purple,” Sirius responded.
James narrowed his eyes. “I was going to say that you could live in the orange house with me, but fine. You can live in a pink house, by yourself.”
“Pink is a superior color anyway. Also, my house declared war on your house.” Sirius looked up at Remus and asked, “Do bees do that?”
“Declare war on each other’s hives?” Remus clarified. “Sometimes one hive will rob the stored honey from another hive.”
“Badass,” Sirius declared.
“Okay, what’s this?” Remus handed James a spray bottle.
“Water?” James guessed.
“Close!” Remus answered. “It’s sugar water. When I want to calm the bees down or make them clump up, I can spray some of that on them. It doesn’t hurt them, and they basically just stop flying around and start licking the sugar off of each other.”
Sirius made a joke about bee orgies, and James smacked him with the bottle.
Remus tried not to laugh as he held up the next item. “What about this?”
“Wait, beekeepers actually use those?” Sirius asked. “I’ve seen them in movies and stuff but I assumed that was like an old-fashioned version or something.”
“We do use them!” Remus handed the metal bee smoker to Sirius, who gave the bellows a few experimental squeezes before giving it to James. “Smoke doesn’t harm the bees, but it does calm them down, and encourages them to eat. It helps distract them from the fact that you are breaking into their home, essentially.”
“That’s pretty cool,” James allowed. Remus was glad he was engaged in the conversation and didn’t look too scared at the moment.
After showing a brush and the frames and wire that fit into the bee box, Remus got out the bee suits. Once they were all suited up, it was time to walk over to look at the bees. They would start small, Remus thought, and let James get acclimated to the feeling of bees flying nearby while he was fully protected by the suit.
As they walked through the kitchen again to get to the back porch, Remus heard James quietly ask Sirius if he was also feeling kind of trapped by his suit. Sirius laughed and put an arm around his shoulder, before joking, “Do we need to add claustrophobia to your list, sir?” James laughed, but sounded subdued, even to Remus.
“I think,” James said suddenly, and stopped walking. “I think, maybe I want to sit down for just a second, or, I—” his voice cut off, and he started to slump towards the floor, but Sirius caught him.
“Are you fucking with me, James?” Sirius’s voice sounded panicked. “Are you okay?”
Remus turned back to see James’s eyes were shut, and Sirius seemed to now be supporting all of his weight.
“Shit, Remus, I think he just fainted. Oh my god. Should we set him down? I think we need to set him down,” Sirius said in a scared tone.
“Let me help you.” Together, they carried James over to the living room and set him on the couch. They took off his bee suit and then their own.
“Oh my god, it’s his hypoglycemia!” Sirius said suddenly.
The word sounded vaguely familiar to Remus. “Low blood sugar?” He clarified.
Sirius nodded, and began patting down his pockets, searching for something. “He hasn’t eaten anything since our early breakfast, and I thought he was just nervous about the bees but his blood sugar levels must have been getting too low for a while now.” He stopped patting his pockets. “Fuck, I don’t have any snacks on me.”
James started to wake back up, and Sirius immediately fawned over him. “Hey, it’s okay, you’re okay. You fainted but you’re gonna be fine.”
Remus grabbed a granola bar from the adjacent pantry, and on an afterthought, a few honey sticks as well. He gave the snacks to Sirius, and then went back to the kitchen for a glass of water.
James started to sit back up, but Sirius insisted on feeding him little bits of the granola bar in a half-sitting, half-slumped-against-Sirius’s-chest position on the couch. He looked much better already, Remus thought.
Eventually, James pushed himself up into a fully-upright sitting position, and fought off Sirius’s attempts at comfort. “Sirius, I’m fine,” he stressed. “I promise. You’re smothering me.”
“I know, I know,” Sirius said, “but I was really worried about you.” Remus was surprised to see that Sirius’s eyes were a bit watery. As James pulled his friend into a hug, Remus walked back into the kitchen and busied himself with heating a kettle.
When the tea was ready, he returned to the living room. He quickly accessed the situation, and found that both men seemed to be doing better now, and were brandishing the honey sticks as fake wands, casting spells at each other. Remus relaxed.
“Feeling better, James?” he asked.
“Yeah, much better. Sorry to scare you like that.”
“No, you don’t need to apologize at all. I’m just glad you’re okay.”
They drank their tea in comfortable silence, until eventually Remus spoke up. “We can reschedule seeing the bees for another day if that sounds better to you.”
Sirius nodded. “You should probably eat some more food soon anyway, Jamie. What sounds good for lunch?”
James gave Remus a regretful smile. “I hope that isn’t an inconvenience. But to make it up, you could join us for lunch?”
“Oh, I…” Remus’s first reaction was to make up an excuse, but then he remembered that he had just been feeling slightly lonely and acutely aware of other people’s friendships.
“You had scheduled your afternoon in for our visit anyway, right? So you must be free,” Sirius said triumphantly.
“I would love to,” Remus finished.
***
Remus eased his truck down the gravel driveway, making sure the blue Prius was following close behind. Since his farm was a little distance out from the city, he had suggested driving separate to lunch. When driving, Remus usually played music loud and sang along. But, playing follow the leader with his guests from the farm today meant that he was concentrating on driving safely and five miles per hour under the speed limit—just like he had a box full of bees buckled into the passenger seat.
He checked the radio briefly, on a low volume, before switching to the CDs. His drive today warranted the second disc in the changer, skipped forward to track three. Rusted Root’s “Send Me On My Way” sounded through the speakers. Instead of singing along obnoxiously, Remus took the opportunity to attempt to understand the words, for the thousandth time. He had been trying to learn the song on guitar for a little while now.
When he pulled out onto the main road, Remus waited for an extra large gap to ensure Sirius could follow behind him and not get separated. The Prius was James’s car, Sirius had wanted to emphasize. He himself drove a motorcycle, he boasted, although James called out, “Don’t listen to him, he drives this Prius all the time, he’s always complaining that he needs to transport something that won’t fit on the bike. It was just yesterday that you—” Sirius had carefully strapped James into the passenger seat, evidently still taking care of him after fainting, but took the opportunity to shut the door, cutting off his sentence. Remus had known the men for less than two hours, but he already loved their banter. He tried to not spend too much time thinking about the image of Sirius on his motorcycle.
Eventually, Remus pulled into a parking spot in front of their destination: The SandWitch Shop. He hopped down from the truck and stood in front of the empty spot Sirius was now navigating the Prius into. After parking, Sirius got out, but James remained in the car.
“Nice driving, Grandma!” Sirius said. “Didn’t realize the speed limit had been reduced to the single digits, but we managed to make it here before they closed anyway!” His smile took the bite out of his words.
“Big talk for the man driving the Prius,” Remus pointed out. “You know what, I doubt you actually have a motorcycle. I don’t think you fit the aesthetic.”
Sirius scoffed, gesturing to his leather jacket and then black Doc Martens, before James’s hand pounding on the inside window of his own car interrupted them.
Sirius made a big show of opening the door for him, but then jumped out of the way as James made a lunge for his arm. “Child-lock, bitch!” Sirius shouted in glee. “Guess I’ll make a good godfather after all. That is, if I’m ever driving the little squirt in the car and not just letting them hang on the back of the motorcycle.”
James’s face seemed to cycle through different expressions, before landing on amusement. “Lily would kill you.”
“I know.” Sirius laughed, and entered the restaurant.
As Remus walked inside, the scents of fresh baked bread, roasting meats, and acidic chips immediately bombarded him. He suddenly felt very hungry, and mentally thanked himself from twenty minutes ago for not denying the offer of lunch like he usually would have.
“Do you know what you want to have?” Sirius’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “I’ll wait in line and order for us, you can find a table with James.”
Remus told him his choice: the half sandwich & half salad deal, with the caprese sandwich and greek salad. Then, he followed James to a booth table positioned in front of a window. They each took a side, and Remus realized he would need to make small talk with someone he had just met. He ran through a mental list of good conversation topics, but James spoke up first.
“Well, Remus, I’m sorry to rain on your parade with the whole passing-out thing.” James used air quotes at the end, as if his own passing-out a half hour ago didn’t actually occur. “I would say that I’m embarrassed, but I think I lost the ability to feel the emotion of shame ever since Sirius took it upon himself to encourage my own maligned executive functioning years ago.”
Remus laughed. “You didn’t rain on my parade at all, and I would be more than happy to show you both the bees on another day. Honestly, I’m really impressed that you care so much about getting over your fears to make sure you don’t pass them on to your child. I think your baby is going to be very lucky.”
James softened as his child was mentioned, and Remus thought it was endearing how excited the man was to become a father. He remembered that James had spoken of his girlfriend being pregnant, and not his wife, and wondered if their upcoming parenthood had been intentional. Not that it mattered to Remus. Either way, the man seemed ready for paternity.
James’s face seemed to flicker through emotions again, but his eyes crinkled finally. “Oh good, Remus. I’m glad that you are happy to show us both the bees at some other time.”
Remus felt like he was missing something, but didn’t ask, as Sirius took that moment to arrive with three cups of water balanced precariously in his hands, and a little plastic number 12 dangling from his pinky finger. “I’ll be right back!” Sirius announced as he set down the waters, and walked away. He returned a second later with a large bag of salt and vinegar flavor potato chips, then slid into the booth next to James.
James made a dramatic “blegh” sound, and Sirius shushed him. “Don’t be a baby, I ordered your sandwich with a side of their fresh and flavorless kettle chips I know you like.” He opened the bag and held it out towards Remus. “These,” he said with a flourish, “are for civilized folk. But also you’re eating at least five of them right now or I’m going to make you eat one of the sugar packets I padded all of my pockets with, freshly stolen from the coffee counter.”
James made a face, but held his hands out for the chips.
“How did you know I liked salt and vinegar chips?” Remus asked Sirius, who was now seated next to James.
“You were eyeing them while in line.” Sirius smiled. “But if I was wrong, I would have been able to eat the whole bag by myself anyway, so it was kind of a win-win situation.”
“How sweet,” James said, and then dissolved into coughs as he popped the first chip in his mouth. “It’s too acidic, these are just awful. I’m sorry, which water is yours?” he asked Sirius.
“The one in front of me, are you dumb?” Sirius answered, confused.
“Perfect!” James proceeded to dunk his remaining four chips into Sirius’s water glass, fingers and all. He then shoved the wet and recently un-flavored chips into his mouth with a smile.
“Oh my god, you are the worst,” Sirius stressed. “I can’t take you anywhere.”
“They taste much better this way, you should try them,” James claimed, chewing through the chips. He gestured Remus towards Sirius’s water glass, which now had a salt and vinegar flavoring film floating on its surface.
“Alright, Remus and I are protecting these chips from you, jeez.” Sirius tucked the chips close to his chest and stood up from the booth.
Remus was surprised when Sirius suddenly sat down next to him, apparently choosing his side over James.
James waggled his eyebrows at Remus. Remus frowned at him, still not sure what the man was hinting at and fearing he may be the butt of a joke. Just then, their lunches arrived, and his thoughts were willingly sidelined.
A few beats of silence endured as the three men tucked into their meals, before James broke it with an ungraceful sentence spoken loudly but rendered unintelligible by the large quantity of sandwich still in his mouth. After a second, he swallowed, then asked again, more clearly this time. “Remus, what is your biggest fear?”
Remus’s mind immediately went to the woods, his six year-old self, and a dark night sky. He swallowed. “Well, isn’t that a bit philosophical. You know, James, I never asked what line of work you’re in. Does it by any chance involve talking to others?” Deflecting once the conversation was focused on himself was a very Remus-like trait, his family used to say, and Remus knew he was good at it.
James, however, seemed unfazed. “Biggest fears. Come on, Sirius, where’s the list?”
Sirius reached into one of the inner pockets of his leather jacket, and dumped out two handfuls of sugar packets before producing the list of fears from earlier. James reached a pointer finger forward, but then stopped at one of the sugar packets.
“Hey, this is Splenda! Are you trying to kill me?”
“Yes, James.” Sirius sighed. “I was playing the long con by taking care of your hypoglycemia for years, waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike, and give you a sugar-free sweetener packet when your blood sugar drops, tricking you into thinking you’re fine, all while succumbing to your illness. Once you are out of the way, I’ll be free to finally seduce Lily, and then marry her and raise your child with her.”
Remus laughed as James’s face flickered through various expressions before landing on amusement himself. Sirius re-pocketed the sugar packets, but set the Splenda aside, next to his defiled water glass. Thinking he was in the clear, Remus resumed the eating of his sandwich.
“Okay, back to what I was talking about before Sirius tried to murder me,” James started again. “You can see all of our deep dark fears, so tell us yours.”
“If you want to,” Sirius tacked on at the end.
Remus read over the list, and noticed some were shared amongst all three, Lily James and Sirius, while others were only for one individual. He noted that Sirius was also afraid of the dark, and quickly wondered what his story was. He then read that Lily was afraid of snakes.
“Oh, I can actually help here, I think. I have a rosy boa snake named Noodle, and she is the sweetest snake for someone afraid of snakes to see. I’ve even let younger schoolchildren hold her.”
James smiled. “That could be awesome, actually. We were thinking of just dragging her through the reptile house at the zoo, each of us holding one of her hands, but that makes so much more sense now that you put it that way.”
Remus wasn’t sure if he was kidding or not, so he laughed in a half-surprised way.
Sirius turned towards Remus, setting his sandwich down. “Are there any other fears you could help us with?”
“Well,” Remus said, tearing his gaze from Sirius’s slate eyes back down to the list. “Not exactly, but I do kind of share one of these.”
“Ooh, which one?” James leaned forward, excitedly.
Remus momentarily frowned, realizing that he had started to talk about something he hadn’t planned to, and now he had to finish it. He blamed Sirius’s eyes for distracting him. “Um. The dark?” His words tilted up at the end, forming a question.
“Me too,” Sirius said in a soft voice. Suddenly, the ambience felt more subdued, like talking about Sirius’s fear was a less approachable topic than Remus would have expected. Perhaps there was a story there after all, Remus thought.
James, either unaware of the shift in mood, or willfully ignoring it, leaned in conspiratorially. “Sounds like you two can conquer that one together. That way, we each get to conquer a fear with Remus. How fun!” He smiled directly at Sirius, who briefly narrowed his eyes at his friend. Remus once again felt like he was missing something, and that maybe a whole conversation was being carried out silently between the two.
“Right,” Remus began. “Unfortunately, as I am not having a child, or godchild, I don’t have to get over my little fear, and I intend to live a blissfully confrontation-free life from here on out. Night-lights and candles exist for a reason.”
James laughed. “And,” Remus said, punctuating the word with a stab through one of his salad tomatoes, “I still want to know what you do, James. You’re not a student as well, are you?”
“No, I’m not a student. I actually work in HR at a tech company.”
“Oh, cool,” Remus said. “So I was right about the ‘talking to people’ thing.” He laughed.
“James is even more of an extravert than I am,” Sirius offered. When Remus’s face involuntarily grimaced, Sirius laughed. “I meant that as praise.”
“Sorry.” Remus laughed. “I’m just such an introvert that I felt bad for him in empathy.”
“You don’t seem like much of an introvert right now,” Sirius questioned.
“I guess it depends on the people I’m with,” Remus said. As an introvert, Remus has noticed that socializing with people usually uses up his energy, and he recharges by spending time alone. Some people, however, either don’t deplete his energy, or manage to recharge it. He thought silently that Sirius and James seem to be totally compatible people for him. They don’t use up his energy in the same way that others have.
After they finished their lunch, Remus insisted on Venmo-ing Sirius for his meal. He had almost forgotten that Sirius had been the one to pay for all three of them, but was thankfully reminded when James clapped his shoulder and said, “Thanks mate, I’ll get the next one.”
“James, I don’t want to pressure you,” Remus said, now standing outside the restaurant, “but you two are welcome back at the farm whenever you’re ready. I’d love to get to the live bees with you, and see if we can help with your fear.”
“And we can pay for the extra day,” Sirius offered. Remus hated asking guests for payment, so he had set up an online portal where visitors paid in advance, and he didn’t have to worry about it.
“Oh, no, just the one day is fine. You weren’t there for your entire time slot today, plus we had lunch.”
“Which you paid for?” Sirius said.
“It was worth it, I liked spending the time with you guys,” Remus said, and realized he meant it, too. He hadn’t been spending much time with friends or anyone outside of work recently. His parents used to fill that void, but, well. Sirius smiled in response.
“We’re glad you do,” James said, “because you’re not getting rid of us soon. I want to see those bees, well, maybe on some level, because on many, many other levels I do not want to see those bees. But yeah. And if you’re serious about introducing Lily to Noodle, we’ll be in touch.”
“He’s not Sirius, I am,” Sirius interrupted robotically, as if he had to make that joke whenever possible, against his own free will.
James continued, “I think you’ll get along great with Lily. She’s amazing.” James smiled as he continued to talk about his girlfriend. Remus couldn’t help but feel a wave of affection for the man, and for Sirius too. They both cared so deeply and visibly for the people in their lives.
They eventually said their goodbyes, and set the date for their next visit. It would be on Friday, since Sirius only had one class in the morning, and James would be able to leave the office early that day (“Perks of being a manager,” he said). As Remus turned the key to start his truck to drive home, he counted down the days until he would see the two characters again.
***
“Well, what a charming young lad,” James said as he pressed the button to start the Prius. He was driving this time, having properly recovered from his brief unconsciousness.
Sirius paused from where he had been about to plug his phone into the auxiliary audio cable to play music. “Young? Wouldn’t you guess that he’s about our age?”
“Oh, so you’re guessing?” James asked.
“What?”
“Do you think he’s gay? From the looks of his place I’d say he’s definitely single.”
“James, what are you trying to say?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” James said loftily. “Just that maybe you’ll be able to conquer your fear of relationships if this whole beekeeper thing continues to work out. He’s cute, you know.”
Sirius frowned. He had noticed that Remus was rather cute already. Maybe cute wasn’t the right word. Sirius found him ridiculously endearing, with the way his eyes lit up while talking about his bees, with his obvious concern for James, and with his easy banter. He remembered the way Remus’s eyes gave a challenging look as he teased Sirius about driving the Prius, before James had interrupted the moment. Sirius suddenly looked back up at James, and realized he hadn’t said anything in response yet. “Oh, yeah, I suppose he is. But I’m really not looking for a relationship right now, you know that.”
“Sirius, you haven’t been looking for a relationship for the past six years that I’ve known you. The only difference is that you stopped having casual hookups in the last year. Maybe sexy beekeeper man can be the answer.”
Sirius frowned for a moment, before getting an idea. “I’m going to tell Lily you passed out.”
“No, please! She’ll make me go to bed as soon as we get home!”
“Then stay out of my love life,” Sirius said triumphantly. After a beat of silence in the car, or, more accurately described as a beat of the song playing from the radio (which James had turned on after Sirius took too long to plug in his phone), Sirius laughed. He couldn’t help but feel that James might be right.
“In any case,” James said, “Remus is pretty cool. I meant what I said about Lily liking him. We should become friends with him, even if you don’t want to have kinky beekeeper roleplay sex with him.”
Sirius flicked his arm in response.