Chapter Text
Sunhigh was approaching—Jaypaw could feel the warmth on his back. He padded into the camp with a wad of dock leaves clasped in his jaws. The sour flavor had sucked all the moisture from his mouth. It disguised every other scent, and he had to rely on the memory of his paws to find the path back to the medicine den.
As he crossed the clearing, he could hear the paw steps of his clanmates hurrying around him. The whole clan had been busy since before dawn preparing for the daylight Gathering. They’re only going to spend the day hunting and fighting, Jaypaw thought irritably. Why are they acting like it’s something special? They get to do that anyway.
“Squirrelflight!” Firestar called down from the Highledge.
“Yes?” She sounded out of breath.
“Did you find a good place for the mock invasion?”
“I sent Brambleclaw out with a patrol,” she replied. “He’s checking it now. Around the mossy clearing might be best. It has a place to meet up that’s easy to locate but has plenty of undergrowth around for cover.”
“Good,” Firestar meowed. “Are there hunting patrols out? We don’t want our visitors to think we are prey-poor.”
“Two. Sorreltail and Sandstorm are leading them.”
“Jaypaw!” Firestar scrambled down from Highledge and caught up to him. “Leafpool will need your help today in case of any accidents. You won’t be able to join in any of the contests, I’m afraid.”
The whole clan had been tiptoeing around him like mice since the daylight Gathering had been announced, too scared to say out loud what he was sure they’d all been thinking—that he would be useless in any apprentice contest. He had noticed right away how they never mentioned his name as they speculated about which apprentices would win. Jaypaw didn’t reply to Firestar and scraped angrily through the bramble entrance to the medicine den.
“Oh, good!” Leafpool was waiting for him. “You found lots. Now we’ll be ready for any scratches.”
Brightheart was lying next to Cloudtail by the halfrock, washing herself. Jaypaw felt her hurt like thorns in his pads as he waited for Leafpool by the camp entrance. Firestar had promised Brightheart that she could mentor Icekit or Foxkit when their turn came, but the warrior hadn’t gotten over the pain of losing Jaypaw as her apprentice yet.
“Staring at her isn’t going to make her forgive you.” Leafpool’s meow surprised Jaypaw; he didn’t think his attention was that obvious.
“But she won’t listen to me when I try to talk to her,” Jaypaw mewed. “She just changes the subject or finds an excuse to go somewhere else.”
“She’ll listen when she’s ready to hear,” Leafpool advised. “She’s had to fight hard to prove to her clanmates that she’s as good as them, and this must feel like a battle she has lost.”
“I never meant to hurt her,” Jaypaw mewed.
“It takes some cats longer to see past their weaknesses clearly enough to appreciate their strengths,” Leafpool meowed. “And until they do, they feel every hurt like a tongue on raw flesh.”
Jaypaw could feel Leafpool urging him to understand more than Brightheart’s anger, but he didn’t want to think about it now. Jaypaw dropped the dock leaves on the ground. He flicked his tongue, trying to wet it again. “I don’t see why we have to be responsible for all the other clans,” he complained. “If their apprentices want to show off on our territory, their own medicine cats should look after them.”
“All the medicine cats will be working together to make sure every cat is cared for properly,” Leafpool reminded him. He sensed frustration in her quick movements as she stored the dock with the other herbs, but her mew was calm. “I know how much you want to take part, Jaypaw, but I need you to help me.”
The fury that had been simmering in Jaypaw’s belly suddenly bubbled over. “Don’t lie!” he fumed. “I’m not allowed to take part because there’s no way I can compete against real apprentices! Firestar doesn’t want me embarrassing the clan.”
“You know that isn’t true!” Leafpool told him, shocked.
“Then why doesn’t he let me try one of the contests?”
“If you were a warrior apprentice he would!” Leafpool’s mew was brittle as she tried to keep her temper. “But you made your choice. If Hollypaw was still my apprentice, she wouldn't take part either.”
Jaypaw didn’t reply. Could it really be called a choice when Leafpool and Starclan wouldn't rest until he chose the things they wanted him to?
Leafpool changed the subject. “Squirrelflight must be getting tired. She’s been busy all morning. Will you take her some herbs?”
Jaypaw padded sulkily to the herb store and mixed the leaves Squirrelflight would need, then folded them in a wrap, which he picked up delicately between his teeth. He nosed his way out of the den and listened for his mother’s voice. He found her beneath Highledge talking to Brambleclaw. Jaypaw dropped the herbs at Squirrelflight’s paws. “Leafpool wants you to eat these.”
“That’s kind of her.” Squirrelflight sniffed at the herbs. “Did you mix these yourself? They smell sweeter than usual.”
“I put in some heather nectar to help with the taste,” Jaypaw mumbled.
Squirrelflight thanked him with a brisk lick between his ears. “That was thoughtful.”
“It’s nothing,” he muttered. He turned away before she could do anything else embarrassing, though he couldn’t ignore the small glimmer of happiness that flickered in his chest.
Suddenly paw steps drummed through the entrance and skidded to a halt. It was Lionpaw and Hollypaw; their excitement howled into the camp like a rush of wind, rippling Jaypaw’s fur.
“They’re here!” Lionpaw panted.
Hollypaw trotted in circles, unable to keep still. “Windclan is heading down toward the lake!”
Foxkit’s and Icekit’s tiny paws pattered from the nursery. “Are they really here?” Foxkit demanded.
“Any sign of Shadowclan?” Icekit’s mew was tinged with nervousness.
“Not yet,” Lionpaw told him. “But it looks like just about the whole of Windclan has come.”
“I wish we were old enough to go.” Icekit mewed.
“We’ll have fun here,” Ferncloud called from the nursery entrance.
“Why do we have to stay in camp?” Foxkit wailed. “It’s not fair.”
“Life isn’t fair,” Jaypaw growled, and padded mutinously back to the medicine den. That’s why I’m going to be stuck in camp like the kits!
Birchfall and Thornclaw pounded through the thorn tunnel, their patrols crowding after them. Jaypaw smelled the delicious flavors of fresh-kill. Every cat must have caught a piece of prey.
“Well done!” Firestar told them. “No cat will go hungry today.”
A yowl rang through the forest above the hollow.
“That’s Leopardstar!” Lionpaw mewed. “Riverclan has arrived!”
“It must be time to go,” Hollypaw put in. “The Gathering starts at sunhigh. Remember everyone, this is more than a day for fun. It’s an opportunity to learn about our rivals, both as possible allies and enemies.” Hollypaw was taking part in the contest on Riverclan territory, a match to see which apprentice had the best fighting skills.
“Well said Hollypaw.” Dustpelt commented, radiating his satisfaction. At the same time, Lionpaw would be set against apprentices in Windclan in a race. Cinderpaw would be heading to Shadowclan for a hunting contest and even Poppypaw and Honeypaw, who would both be staying in Thunderclan, would be competing in a mock invasion. Jealousy seared Jaypaw’s fur.
Rocks clattered from Highledge as Firestar bounded down into the clearing, but Jaypaw nosed his way into the medicine den, away from the eager mews of the warriors and apprentices as they paced impatiently around the entrance. He tried to block his ears as Firestar called “Good luck!” to the clan. But he still heard the drumming of paws as Thunderclan raced away through the thorn tunnel. An eerie silence gripped the camp.
“Jaypaw.” Leafpool’s mew sounded from the herb store. “Will you help me make up some poultices?”
Jaypaw forced away his grim thoughts and padded to Leafpool’s side to begin chewing up some of the dock he had brought back earlier. As they worked, Icekit and Foxkit charged noisily around the clearing.
“Don’t forget,” Ferncloud was calling, “you each have to bring me a beetle, some moss, and a fly.”
“I’m going to win!” Icekit mewed.
“No, you won’t,” Foxkit replied. “I’ll find them first!”
Their mews echoed around the deserted camp, and Jaypaw was aware of the emptiness like hunger in the pit of his belly. Am I always going to be left behind?
“That’s enough for now.” Leafpool’s mew took him by surprise. “There’s enough there for scratches on every cat in all four clans.”
Jaypaw spat out the last mouthful of dock and sat back on his haunches, licking his paws to clear the taste from his tongue.
“I should be at the Gathering, in case there are injuries,” the medicine cat announced. “Besides, I want to go and watch Hollypaw fight. Why don’t you come with me?”
Jaypaw shook his head. There was no way he was going if he wasn’t allowed to take part.
“Very well.” Leafpool didn’t try to persuade him. Instead she padded quietly out of the den.
Left alone, Jaypaw suddenly felt lost. Far in the distance he could hear the excited cries of warriors and their apprentices drifting through the trees. He wanted to wail to Starclan that it wasn’t fair. But he wouldn't behave like a kit, however much he was treated like one. Instead, he began to tidy up the herbs, pushing all the leaves into neat piles and lining up the poultices, ready for any cats who might return injured.
Suddenly a strange sensation began to prick his tail. It crawled along his spine, setting his pelt tingling. Images flooded his mind, swelling behind his eyes. He was buried, unable to breathe, choking on dry earth soaked in the stench of rabbit and badger. His mind swirled in terror. Where was the badger? He expected to feel their teeth rip his flesh at any moment. He stared wildly around, but all he could see was crumbling brown soil. Above him light flickered, then dimmed as more soil tumbled down on him, stinging his eyes, filling his ears and nostrils. He was drowning—not in water this time, but earth.
“Help!” Dirt filled his mouth as he tried to scream. He scrabbled desperately, trying to fight his way out. Was Starclan so disappointed that they had ordered the earth to swallow him up? He kicked out with his hind legs, trying to fight his way up. His lungs were screaming for air. He could see his paws churning in front of his muzzle. But they were not his own tabby paws; they were pale and wide, their fur thick and bunched at the claws. I’m seeing through Lionpaw’s eyes!
Jaypaw drove the images out of his head and knew he was back in the medicine den, surrounded by the scent of leaves and with the hollow empty and silent outside. Where was Lionpaw right now? The race on Windclan territory!
Like lightning, Jaypaw shot out of the medicine den and pelted into the forest, every sense alive as he wove through the undergrowth like a snake. He had to get to Lionpaw before this thing—whatever it was—happened. Jaypaw dashed along the slope toward the Windclan border, remembering the stench of badger from his vision. There was an old badger set near the border, taken over from rabbits a season ago. His mother had described it to him. She had helped chase a badger from it long ago, soon after the four clans came to the lake.
He dug his claws harder into the grass and pushed himself on. Fresh scents rolled in from the lake, but he focused on the smell of badger, searching it out as he raced onto the planes. His instincts and senses were not enough to guide him quickly through this strange territory with the wind whipping scents in every direction. He skidded to a halt, sniffing desperately, and began to feel his way with his whiskers. Starclan, give me a clue, please! I have to find Lionpaw! Suddenly he tasted the rank stench of badger. It was old and laced with the smell of fox. He gazed around blindly, wondering where Lionpaw was. Then he heard paw steps speeding over the leaf-strewn forest floor ahead. He could smell Lionpaw. Then Breezepaw. Their excitement singed his pelt. With a jolt of terror, Jaypaw realized that the two apprentices were racing toward the badger stench. The place where the ground was not safe, where the earth would swallow them up…
“No!” His wail rang through the trees. He pelted forward, breathless with fear. Then shock pierced him and he skidded to a halt. There was no sound of paw steps. The forest was deadly silent.
“Lionpaw!” Jaypaw shot forward. He stumbled as the earth became rock beneath his paws. The sun was suddenly hot on his back. A clearing, ringed with trees. Boulders reared up before him. His fur stood on end as muffled mews sounded from above.
“Help!” Breezepaw’s frantic mew reached his ears.
“Starclan, save me!” Lionpaw wailed soon after.
Feeling his way frantically, Jaypaw clambered up the rocks. Where had they fallen in? Was he near? The ground was still rock beneath his paws. It flattened, then sloped smoothly away in front of him. He began to slide forward. Blood roared in his ears. What if I fall in too? The vision played in his mind again—earth choking his ears, his eyes, his lungs screaming for air. He unsheathed his claws. They scraped over the stone as he half crept, half slithered downward. Suddenly his front paws touched sand and sank. Jaypaw sprang backward, clinging to the rock with his hind paws. Then the sand moved; he felt it quivering beneath his forepaws as though something squirmed beneath it. They’re down there!
Gripping with his hind claws, he squatted down and began to dig, scooping out earth as fast as he could. “Help!” he wailed, hoping some cat would hear. “Over here!” His hind claws lost their grip and he slid forward, his forepaws sinking into the sand. “Starclan help me!” He reared backward, his muscles screaming with the effort. He couldn’t give up now. He slithered forward again and kept digging, his hind paws trembling with the effort of keeping him out of the sinking ground. Soil pressed up against his chest and chin. Terror gripped his whole body. The vision was so strong in his mind he could feel soil in his throat and see nothing but earth. Suddenly his paws brushed against fur. With a rush of hope, he hooked his claws into it and heaved with all his strength. The fur wriggled and fought in his grip, struggling to push upward until Jaypaw could scrabble far enough back to drag the body out of the soil.
Spluttering and gasping, Lionpaw slithered away from the patch of soft earth and collapsed on the rock. Jaypaw plunged his paws back into the soil. Breezepaw was still down there.
“What’s going on?” Crowfeather’s shocked cry sounded behind him.
Without stopping Jaypaw screeched at the Windclan warrior, “The den collapsed. Lionpaw and Breezepaw fell in!”
Crowfeather was at his side in an instant, sending sandy soil flying in his desperation to save his son. Claws scrabbled up the boulders behind them.
“Breezepaw?” Nightcloud’s horrified gasp sounded close by
“He’s still buried!” Crowfeather panted.
Immediately the Windclan she-cat pressed in beside Jaypaw and began digging. “Oh, my precious kit!”
Then Jaypaw felt another movement in the earth beneath his claws. “I can feel him!”
Crowfeather burrowed his paws toward Jaypaw’s and lunged down. A growl of effort rose in his throat as he heaved his son out from the suffocating earth. Jaypaw felt soil spray his face and sting his eyes as Breezepaw’s body was dragged free. He listened closely for the apprentice’s breathing. It had stopped.
“Fetch Leafpool!” he shrieked.
“I’m here!” Leafpool’s voice came as a rush of warm air to Jaypaw’s ears.
“Can you save them?” he begged. “I came here as fast as I could, but—”
“Lionpaw is breathing,” Leafpool told him. “I’ve cleared the soil from his throat.”
Jaypaw felt Breezepaw stir, and for a moment he thought the Windclan apprentice had recovered. Then he realized that Leafpool was wrenching open his jaws.
“Your paws are smallest,” she told Jaypaw. “Reach into his mouth and clear as much dirt as you can.”
Jaypaw sheathed his claws. Then, forcing himself to stop trembling, he reached delicately into Breezepaw’s mouth. He could hear Crowfeather’s heart pounding and Nightcloud's breath was quivering in terror behind him. Leafpool’s concentration was the only calmness he felt around him, and he clung to it as he scooped the earth from the back of Breezepaw’s throat.
Suddenly Breezepaw coughed and his body writhed as he spat up earth from his stomach and lungs.
“Will he be all right?” Nightcloud whispered.
“Yes, he will,” Leafpool promised.
“Thank you, Leafpool,” Crowfeather murmured.
“I would give my last drop of blood to save your kit,” Leafpool meowed softly to Crowfeather. “You know that.” Jaypaw flinched at the tension between them, pricking the air like rain.
“Our kit was lucky that Jaypaw was here.” Nightcloud’s comment was edged with sharpness.
“Jaypaw?” Lionpaw croaked.
Jaypaw spun around and crouched beside his brother. “That was close, even for you,” he mewed.
Lionpaw’s breathing was labored but steady. “I thought I was going to join Starclan.”
Leafpool’s whiskers brushed Jaypaw’s cheek. “They were lucky you were here.”
“I nearly wasn’t fast enough,” he replied.
“But you made it to them in time,” she pointed out. “You were brave to try to get them out on your own.” She flicked his shoulder with her tail. “Come on, let’s get them back to the hollow.” Finally with a moment alone to his thoughts, Jaypaw thought about the vision. Was Starclan capable of giving him such a clear representation of Lionpaw? They would have to, to show that future.
Jaypaw held out his paw so that Lionpaw could lick the poppy seeds from his pad. Lionpaw lapped them up gratefully. He was still trembling, even though he was safely in Jaypaw’s nest, curled beside Breezepaw. Lionpaw had managed to stagger back to the Thunderclan camp on his own paws. Leafpool and Jaypaw stood against him on either side to take some of his weight.
Nightcloud had carried Breezepaw like a kit. His hind legs had dragged over the forest floor, but he was too exhausted by shock to complain. Crowfeather had padded beside his mate the whole way, offering to help, but Nightcloud kept hold of her kit as though she might lose him again at any moment. Now she lay curled around him, warming his quivering body, her breath falling and rising in time with his.
“Try to persuade them to sleep,” Leafpool told Jaypaw. “I’ll go and tell the others they’re all right.” Firestar stood with Brackenfur and Crowfeather outside. The Windclan tom was gripped with anxiety. Hollypaw and Heatherpaw were back to. The sparring must have finished. The brambles swished as the medicine cat padded out of the den.
“I’ll make sure they sleep,” Nightcloud meowed. Jaypaw heard the swish of her tail as she swept it rhythmically over the earth-powdered pelts of the two apprentices.
“You were so brilliant.” Hollypaw’s breath tickled his ear. Her comment made his ears hot with embarrassment. Why did she have to treat him like a hero?
Crowfeather had acted the same way as they’d padded home through the forest. “You behaved like a warrior,” the Windclan cat had told him.
But Jaypaw did not feel like a warrior. If he had run faster he would have been able to warn Lionpaw. If he had been able to see where he was heading in unfamiliar territory he wouldn't have been slowed down.
“Lionpaw and Breezepaw wouldn’t have been hurt if I’d gotten there sooner,” he mewed to Hollypaw.
“But how did you find them at all?” He felt her stare burning his pelt. “They were racing across the whole territory. They could have been anywhere.”
Jaypaw hesitated. “I had a vision,” he confessed. “I saw what was going to happen.” Panic swept through him as he remembered the sensation of choking, the taste of soil in his mouth, and the sight of paws churning desperately in front of his muzzle. “When I saw the color of the paws, I realized they weren’t mine, but Lionpaw’s.”
“Saw?” Hollypaw’s gasp made Jaypaw jump. “You saw his paws?”
“Shhh!” Suddenly he wished he hadn’t told her anything. If Starclan thought he was trying to show off, they might take his one chance at sight away. Jaypaw tried to make his sister understand. “Sometimes I can see in dreams and visions,” he whispered. “It’s hard to explain how. It’s…” He paused, groping for words. “It’s just different.”
So many questions flew through her mind, but in a moment they cleared and a purr rumbled in her throat. “Starclan must have given you this gift for a reason. I knew you’d make a great medicine cat.” She brushed her cheek along his, then padded out through the brambles.
Jaypaw sighed. He was glad Hollypaw hadn’t asked any difficult questions, but was this how it was going to be from now on? A separate life, beyond the understanding of his clanmates? With their every heartbeat depending on him?
“Jaypaw!” Brambleclaw called through the brambles. “Come down to the lake for the end of the Gathering.”
“Firestar’s going to be announcing the winners!” Heatherpaw added excitedly.
Jaypaw curled his lip. The last thing he wanted to do was to watch the other apprentices celebrate their warrior skills. He pricked his ears toward Lionpaw and Breezepaw. Nightcloud had done as she promised, and both apprentices were sleeping deeply. He pushed his way out of the den.
“Who’s going to watch Lionpaw and Breezepaw?” he asked, looking for an excuse to stay in the camp.
“I will,” Leafpool told him.
“Come on, Jaypaw,” Hollypaw begged. “It’ll be fun.”
Reluctantly, Jaypaw followed his clanmates as they trekked down to the slopes beside the lake. Crowfeather and Heatherpaw went to join Windclan, and Firestar headed off to speak with the other leaders by the lakeshore.
Brambleclaw sat down to wait on the hillside, and Jaypaw sat beside him with Squirrelflight and Hollypaw.
“I’ve not seen the clans so relaxed since the Great Journey,” Brambleclaw observed.
Squirrelflight’s happiness warmed the air around her. “Even Shadowclan seems content.”
“But Blackstar is staring at everyone, proud as a blackbird, as if his apprentices won every contest,” Hollypaw chipped in.
“Clans of trees, hills, and streams!” Jaypaw heard his leader’s call. The cats fell silent, and Jaypaw sensed their gazes turn toward the Thunderclan leader like the sun shifting in the sky.
“All our apprentices did well today,” Firestar declared. “They hunted and fought like true warriors!” Jubilant mews rose from all the clans. “Thunderclan’s apprentice Hollypaw won the sparring contest, although Heatherpaw, Oakpaw, and Pebblepaw all demonstrated great skill and strength!”
“Harepaw won the hunting contest!” Onestar cut in. “Even being out of his element, he put up a fight against Pouncepaw, Cinderpaw, and Owlpaw, and came out triumphant!”
Leopardstar smiled as the cheering died back down. “Dapplepaw did the best in the mock invasion, coming up with excellent strategies to fend off attackers larger and stronger than her. However I am told she worked quite well with the other apprentices in the event, Antpaw, Ivypaw, Poppypaw, and Honeypaw.”
“And Scorchpaw ultimately beat Minnowpaw in the race across Windclan’s territory.” Blackstar finished.
“That’s not fair!” Scorchpaw snarled, the Shadowclan apprentices bunched around him muttering in agreement. “You make it sound like I had the easiest job! I was racing Lionpaw and Breezepaw too, and they didn’t even come back!”
“Hush!” Snowbird silenced him. “They almost died!”
Blackstar nodded to the heated apprentice, “It’s all right; we all know you did a good job. You shall have first pick of the prey when we get home.”
Leopardstar lifted her voice. “Dapplepaw will eat the best fish tonight..”
“Harepaw shall have the fattest rabbit,” Onestar called.
Jaypaw’s muzzle sank to his chest. He didn’t want to hear how well every other apprentice had done.
“And from Thunderclan,” Firestar announced, “Hollypaw may choose first prey from the pile. She fought excellently for such a new apprentice.”
Jaypaw could hear the pride dancing in his sister's mind, hating the jealousy that throbbed in his paws.
Thornclaw padded over to her, and Jaypaw barely recognized him. His thoughts weren’t nearly as quick as usual. He seemed calm, and focused. “You really did.” The old warrior let out a breath, and Jaypaw could feel it rustle his fur. “You’re a very skilled apprentice, and I have no doubt you will make a great warrior. I underestimated you unfairly, and I am sorry about that.”
“N-no problem.” Hollypaw replied, completely dumbfounded by her mentor’s new attitude.
Jaypaw didn’t know how to comment, but he had to say something. “Well done,” he mumbled. “I’d better get back and see if Leafpool needs help.”
“Please stay,” Hollypaw mewed.
Jaypaw shook his head and turned away. He began to climb the slope toward the tree line, but then Onestar’s voice sounded from below.
“There is one apprentice who deserves a special mention above all the others today.” Jaypaw kept on walking. “Jaypaw.” The gray tabby stopped. “This young Thunderclan apprentice has earned the gratitude of every cat for his courage and quick thinking today.”
Jaypaw felt the curious gaze of all the clans ruffle his pelt. He turned self-consciously to face them.
Firestar joined in. “He saved two apprentices. They nearly suffocated when an old badger set collapsed beneath them. Jaypaw found them in time and dug them out, managing to keep them breathing and saving their lives.”
Shocked mews turned into cheers. They were cheering for him! Hollypaw’s and Squirrelflight’s pelts suddenly brushed against his flanks. Hollypaw pressed her nose against his cheek. “See? You’re a hero.”
Can blind cats be heroes?
“This has been a good Gathering,” Firestar meowed as the cheering died down. “It has reminded me of the Great Journey. A lot has changed, but we are still true warriors!”
"I agree," Leopardstar purred. "Now let's all go home. We have much to celebrate."