Chapter Text
“Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather below Highledge!”
“He must have decided who the deputy should be,” Hollypaw breathed, hurrying over from the medicine den and sitting down beside her brothers. She wriggled down into the grass, shivering in anticipation.
“Graystripe and Brackenfur are on Highledge with Firestar,” Hollypaw whispered to her brother.
“I know,” Jaypaw answered curtly.
“I know you’ve all been wondering what will happen now that our previous deputy has returned,” the clan leader began. “When we left the forest, I thought I would never see Graystripe again,” Firestar confessed. “There were many nights when I stared up at Silverpelt and tried to imagine him among our ancestors.” The Thunderclan leader went on. “Graystripe was my deputy and my friend. I trained with him and fought with him. I trusted him more than any cat. Having him back is like having one of my own lives restored.”
“He’s going to make Graystripe deputy again!” Hollypaw hissed under her breath.
“Wait,” Jaypaw warned.
Hollypaw drew back. How could he know anything?
“But Brackenfur has helped me lead the clan through some of its most terrifying challenges. He is thoughtful, strong, and I’ve never seen him waver in his loyalty to his clanmates. The last thing Thunderclan needs now is more change.” He paused and glanced at the two warriors. “So I’ve decided that Brackenfur should remain deputy.”
Mews of surprise rippled around the clan. Hollypaw could understand. She looked up at Graystripe, but his expression was impossible to read.
Sorreltail raised her voice happily. “Brackenfur!”
“Brackenfur! Brackenfur!” Ashfur quickly joined in.
Dustpelt and Thornclaw started calling Brackenfur’s name too. Graystripe got to his paws and joined in, and Brackenfur dipped his head respectfully to the former Thunderclan deputy.
“Told you so,” Jaypaw murmured.
“How did you know?” Lionpaw asked accusingly.
Jaypaw shrugged. “It was the wisest choice.”
“Do you think Graystripe minds?” Hollypaw whispered.
“Does it matter?” Jaypaw asked.
“He must know the clan has changed a lot,” Lionpaw replied. "And he's not exactly at his best."
“But what about when he’s fully recovered?” Hollypaw persisted. “Will he be happy just being a warrior?”
“I think Firestar made the right decision.” The meow made Lionpaw jump. He glanced up and saw Ashfur padding toward them.
“Brackenfur should be deputy,” Lionpaw told him firmly. “Graystripe doesn’t even know the territory yet. He’d be as lost as a Windclan kit in a Shadowclan nursery.”
“Exactly.” Ashfur nodded.
“And Graystripe is going to take another moon to recover,” Jaypaw put in. “He still smells of crow-food.”
“He’ll be strong soon,” Hollypaw mewed defensively.
“Soon isn’t good enough,” Lionpaw argued. “We need a strong deputy now. Green-leaf’s heat is only getting stronger and Windclan is making our lives more difficult. We can’t afford to wait for Graystripe to recover.”
“But he was deputy first!” Hollypaw protested. “Has everyone forgotten? When Mistyfoot was taken by Twolegs, Hawkfrost replaced her only until she returned. Because according to the warrior code she never stopped being the deputy!”
“Your sister has a point,” Ashfur commented.
“I know, but” Lionpaw stammered. “Firestar has to be practical.”
“If we start ignoring the warrior code, then we are no longer warriors!” Hollypaw declared. Anxious thoughts and Ferncloud’s voice raced instinctively into her head.
“What if Starclan told Firestar to choose Brackenfur?” Jaypaw asked softly.
“But they didn’t…” Hollypaw murmured. They would’ve told me.
“Hollypaw,” Ashfur cut into their thoughts. “Shouldn’t you be helping Leafpool?”
“Um, yes,” Hollypaw mewed hastily, turning to get back to her duties in the medicine den. Her tail dragged behind her through the scorching dirt.
Hollypaw woke up long before dawn, not having slept much. Why couldn’t she seem to memorize herbs or connect with Starclan like Leafpool did? Why did she always get distracted by clan politics when she was supposed to focus on her lessons? Why did healing seem to involve inflicting more suffering first? And why...why did it seem like no one wanted to listen to her, even now? She stretched and crept out of her nest. She glanced at Leafpool, who was still asleep. Careful not to disturb her, Hollypaw slipped out of the den.
The clearing was empty. Even the forest was silent, and the dawn sky glowed pink behind the dark evergreen branches at the top of the hollow. She padded across the clearing and out through the thorn barrier. Maybe she could at least get some hunting done for Ferncloud and the kits.
Brook paced outside the entrance. She jerked her head around when she heard Hollypaw’s paw steps.
“You’re awake early.”
“I couldn’t sleep.” Hollypaw yawned. “Has the dawn patrol left yet?”
“Not yet.”
“I thought I could find some prey for Ferncloud,” Hollypaw explained.
Brook gazed at her curiously. “That’s kind, but won’t Leafpool need you this morning?”
Hollypaw sighed.
“Such a troubled sigh for one so young,” Brook meowed, her gray eyes softening with concern.
“Leafpool would probably get on better without me,” Hollypaw muttered.
“Surely not,” Brook meowed. “You’ve been working so hard.”
“But I’ve made no progress,” Hollypaw confessed. “Even when I try to help, it’s awful. I have to see my clanmates suffer, whether it’s a matter of making their cuts hurt worse or making them swallow those disgusting leaves.” She sat down miserably. “I thought that I could serve my clanmates best as a medicine cat. That’s why I asked to be Leafpool’s apprentice. She’s so important to the clan.”
“You want to be important?” Brook queried.
Hollypaw thought for a moment. It was more complicated than that. “Everyone respects Leafpool and listens to what she says.”
“But is being listened to and respected the same as serving your clan?”
Hollypaw glanced up at the mountain cat. Brook’s eyes were round with sympathy. “I guess not,” she mewed. “I just thought it would be the best way to help the clan.”
“And now you think differently?”
“I don’t think I can help the clan at all as a medicine cat,” Hollypaw mewed quietly. “I can’t remember the names of the herbs. I get more excited about Firestar choosing Thunderclan’s deputy than Leafpool choosing an herb to use. And I’d rather hunt for mice than borage or tansy.” Frustration welled inside her. “It’s all gone wrong! No cat will ever respect me now.”
Brook ran the tip of her tail down Hollypaw’s back. “Cats win respect from their clanmates by being loyal and brave, not holding important positions,” she meowed. “Do you think Graystripe is less important than Brackenfur now that he’s not the deputy?” Hollypaw shook her head. “It is hard for someone so young to make such big choices,” the mountain cat went on. “When I was with the Tribe of Rushing Water, there were no such choices. All duties were divided into hunting or guarding. Prey-hunters like me were thin and lithe; guards were stocky and strong. The decision was made from birth which duty a cat would perform best.”
Hollypaw was shocked. “You couldn’t choose at all?”
“Not usually. But it was a good way to make sure each cat made the best use of the strengths they were born with.”
“I wasn’t born with a head for herbs.” Hollypaw sighed reluctantly.
“Think of your strengths, not your weaknesses,” Brook urged her. “As a clan cat, you have the freedom to shape your own destiny, which Tribe cats never have. Use that freedom wisely.”
“But how do I know that I won’t be awful at hunting or fighting too?” The only other time she’d tried to fight, all she had done was run away.
“You don’t. You only know you can try,” Brook began. “But even if you never turn into the best hunter or fighter in the clan, that’s not the only way to be special.” Hollypaw looked up at her, sceptical. “For instance, I’ve never known anyone as dedicated to the warrior code as you. Your passion could be a tremendous aid to your clanmates. What better way can you think of to serve your clan than that?”
Hollypaw’s heart felt lighter than it had for days. No matter how her apprenticeship went, she could still act as a conscience to the clan: an arbiter of the warrior code.
“Don’t forget, though, you will have to tell Leafpool.”
Hollypaw sagged a little. “Of course.” She looked down at her paws. “She’ll think I’m letting her down.”
“Leafpool is wise enough to see where your gifts lie,” Brook meowed. “She will only think you courageous for speaking up now, rather than struggling on out of pride or stubbornness.”
“Are you sure?”
“You will be doing what is best for your clan. Leafpool will know that.”
Hollypaw blinked gratefully at Brook. “Thank you,” she whispered.
Brook dipped her head and turned back to watch the forest. Hollypaw ducked through the thorn barrier. She knew what she had to do. She would become a regular apprentice like Lionpaw and Jaypaw, and work hard to serve her clan as a warrior. There were still paths to success, even to flourishing like she was supposed to, that began with a warrior's training rather than a medicine cat's. Every one of those opportunities could be open to her now...but first she had to tell Leafpool. Stiffening her shoulders, Hollypaw nosed her way into the medicine den.
Hollypaw suddenly felt as if there were a thorn stuck in her chest. She was turning away from something she had set her heart on because she was not good enough. Sadness welled inside her. Should she be giving up so easily?
“What’s wrong, Hollypaw?” Leafpool looked up. “You look as though you’ve just lost our entire supply of poppy seeds!” Then her face grew serious. “You haven’t, have you?”
Hollypaw shook her head. “No. But I have something very important to tell you.” She forced herself to look her mentor in the eyes. “I can’t be a medicine cat apprentice anymore,” she mewed.
Leafpool blinked. “Why not?”
“I have to choose my destiny based on my strengths,” Hollypaw meowed. “I’m just no good at being a medicine cat. You must know that.”
“You are clever and hardworking. You can learn.”
“But it doesn’t feel right,” Hollypaw tried to explain. She tipped her head to one side. “Can you understand?”
“You feel like a fish swimming upstream?” Leafpool suggested.
“Exactly.” Hollypaw nodded, her heart aching. “If I change direction and swim with the current, I will swim so much faster.”
“So you want to train as a warrior instead.”
“I think it will be better for the clan if I do.”
Leafpool’s eyes clouded with sorrow. “I feel as though I’ve let you down.”
“No!” Hollypaw felt a stab of guilt. “You’ve been patient and kind. It’s just not right for me.”
“You would have been a good medicine cat.” Leafpool flicked her tail. “But I see that you want to be the best at whatever you do.”
“I have to be, for the sake of my clan.”
Leafpool stepped forward and brushed Hollypaw’s cheek with her muzzle. “You will make a wonderful warrior, Hollypaw,” she purred. “You have a warrior’s spirit—I have seen you being noble, loyal, and brave, and now I see you sacrificing your ambition for the good of the clan.” Her eyes shone. “I couldn’t be more proud of you.” Leafpool’s words soothed the grief that pricked like a hedgehog at Hollypaw’s heart. “I must tell you; I wasn’t sure how I would say it, but there is another cat who I believe Starclan has indicated should be a medicine cat.”
Hollypaw tilted her head in confusion. Really? Someone else wanted to be a medicine cat? “Who is it?”
“I won’t say until they agree.” Leafpool replied, her gaze looking off somewhere unknown. “They did seem put off by the idea at first.” The tabby she-cat shook her head, focusing back on Hollypaw. “But never mind that. Go find some of the other apprentices to catch up with. I’ll need to tell Firestar about this.”
Nodding, Hollypaw made her way out into the clearing, and saw Jaypaw stretching beside the apprentice den. It didn’t seem like he had slept much longer than Hollypaw. “You look exhausted!” she mewed. “Did something keep you up?”
Jaypaw’s eyes were bleary and his fur unkempt. “I’ll explain later,” he mewed. “I have to see Firestar.”
“Firestar is busy talking to Leafpool.” Hollypaw replied.
“I have to see her too.”
What was he talking about? Had something happened? Alarm shot through Hollypaw’s tail, making it twitch. Jaypaw tripped as he tried to climb the tumble of rocks up to Firestar’s cave.
“Let me help,” Hollypaw offered. “You’re too tired to manage alone.”
For once Jaypaw didn’t object. Hollypaw’s anxiety grew stronger, but she bit her tongue. He was obviously determined to speak to Firestar, and she wasn’t going to waste time arguing. Instead she laid her tail over his shoulders and guided him up the rockfall.
At the ledge outside Firestar’s den, Hollypaw announced her arrival.
“Ah, Hollypaw?” Firestar called her inside. “Leafpool told me you-” He looked surprised to see Jaypaw with her, but before he could voice it Jaypaw stumbled into the center of the den. He fixed his sightless gaze on Firestar, his stare so intense it seemed as though he could see the Thunderclan leader as clearly as the rest of them could.
“I need to train to be a medicine cat,” he declared firmly.
Hollypaw stared at her brother in astonishment. Jaypaw had always been so sure that he wanted to be a warrior, ever since he had been old enough to pounce on a scrap of moss. She would never have guessed he was the potential apprentice Leafpool had been talking about.
Firestar looked at Hollypaw. “Did you know anything about this?”
“No!” Hollypaw gasped. Firestar sounded as if he suspected they had planned it together.
Jaypaw looked over his shoulder at her, his blue eyes round with anxiety. “Hollypaw, I’m sorry.”
“It’s all right.” Leafpool padded over to Jaypaw and brushed his ear with her muzzle. “Hollypaw has already told me that she wants to train as a warrior apprentice instead.”
Jaypaw blinked. “Really?”
Hollypaw nodded. A tingle of hope pricked her paws.
Perhaps this was the perfect solution! After all, Jaypaw had always known the herbs and recognized ailments better than she did. But would Firestar agree?
Firestar looked at Leafpool. “Are you ready to take on another apprentice so soon?”
Leafpool sat down and wrapped her tail over her paws. “I would be honored to be Jaypaw’s mentor.” She dipped her head. “I think the clan would be lucky to have him as its medicine cat.”
“Do you think h-his senses will be a hindrance?” Firestar queried with as much diplomacy as he could muster.
Hollypaw bristled. Surely Jaypaw wouldn’t let Firestar get away with that? “He knows the herbs far better than me,” she mewed quickly.
“His sense of smell is incredible,” Leafpool agreed. “He can already tell an infected wound from a clean one a tail-length away.”
Hollypaw waited for Jaypaw to point out that blindness had nothing to do with it, but he only murmured, “I will try as hard as I can. Leafpool will soon see whether I can manage or not.”
“Very well.” Firestar nodded, looking a little dazed. “Leafpool will be your new mentor.”
Jaypaw dipped his head.
“But first,” Firestar went on, “we must tell Brightheart.”
Jaypaw’s ears twitched. “She’ll be hurt.” Hollypaw could hear anxiety in his mew. Her brother had never gotten on especially well with his mentor, but he was clearly worried about her feelings.
“Maybe Brightheart could be my mentor,” she suggested.
Firestar shook his head. “Her skills would have been effective for training Jaypaw, but she's not the right cat for you.” He shifted his paws. “She will be a mentor again very soon; don’t worry.”
“What if she doesn’t understand my decision?” Jaypaw mewed.
“It’s up to you to make her understand,” Firestar answered. “I may be able to tell the clan what to do, but I can’t tell them how to feel.”
“I’ll make sure that she knows my decision has nothing to do with her,” Jaypaw promised. “This is something I have to do.”
His mew was oddly flat. Hollypaw felt a ripple of unease stir her pelt. It was almost as if being Leafpool’s apprentice wasn’t Jaypaw’s choice at all.
Leafpool glanced at Firestar and Sandstorm, the sort of meaningful glance that told Hollypaw that they wanted to exchange words in private.
Taking the hint, she bowed her head. “Shall I fetch Brightheart?”
Firestar nodded. “Yes, please.”
“She’s in the warriors’ den,” Jaypaw told them.
Hollypaw’s whiskers twitched. It was a little bit weird that Jaypaw was always totally aware of what was going on in the camp, but nothing she wasn't used to from kithood. She bounded down into the clearing and padded over to the warriors’ den. Sticking her head through the entrance, she called Brightheart’s name.
Brightheart was sitting up in her nest, washing, her warm breath billowing in the gloom.
“Firestar would like to see you in his den,” Hollypaw told her.
Brightheart stopped, her tongue still half out, and stared at Hollypaw. She looked as if she was about to ask why. Hollypaw ducked out of the den. She did not want to give Brightheart time to speak. She knew she would not be able to hide the truth, but she also knew that it was Jaypaw’s duty to break his news to his mentor. She slipped into the apprentices’ den before Brightheart emerged. It seemed a good time to visit her new home. The scent of the yew was strange, and the nests were all empty. Jaypaw’s nest would be hers now, she guessed. She sniffed it out and gazed around the shelter, happy at the thought of sleeping among her clanmates. After the nursery, her nest in the medicine den had seemed cold and lonely, even though she was happy to be rid of the potent smells. She wished some of the apprentices were here to welcome her. Everyone must be out training. The thought brought a prickle of excitement. Before long, she would be out with them.
Thundering paws came from the entrance to camp. Berrypaw was first into the clearing, with Hazelpaw and Mousepaw bundling just behind him, shining with the sun-high light reflecting off their pelts. They were followed by their mentors, Brambleclaw, Dustpelt, and Spiderleg.
“We did it!” Berrypaw’s triumphant yowl echoed around the stone hollow. “We all passed our assessment, and now we’ll be warriors!”
“Maybe we should assess how well you can keep your mouth shut,” Dustpelt snapped.
“It’s okay.” Firestar sounded amused. “If the mentors will come and speak to me, we’ll arrange the warrior ceremony.”
All the apprentices were gathering in an excited cluster near their den. Lionpaw pelted across to join them, and Hollypaw hesitantly approached behind.
“...and two voles,” Berrypaw was meowing as Hollypaw came into earshot.
Honeypaw was looking on with shining eyes. “Wow, I hope I turn out to be as good a hunter as you, Berrypaw.”
Lionpaw bristled. “You passed the assessment. It doesn’t mean you’ve suddenly become deputy.”
“I caught quite a large vole as well.” Hazelpaw cut in, her glance between Lionpaw and her brother indicating she was trying to cut the tension. “I also managed to catch a blackbird just as it was about to take off. Dustpelt said he’d never seen such a good leap.”
“That’s great!” mewed Cinderpaw.
“I actually caught a fish when I was on the way back!” Mousepaw boasted. Hollypaw’s face contorted into an expression of disgust and she could see her denmates shared the thought. She knew Riverclan cats like Willowpaw ate fish but it sounded awful. Why would Mousepaw even try to catch a fish?
Firestar’s voice rang out from the Highledge. “Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather for a clan meeting!”
The clearing flooded with cats as the clan began to emerge. Hollypaw caught sight of Mousefur and Longtail as they left the shelter of their den under the hazel bush. Leafpool came out of the medicine cats’ den and sat in front of the screen of brambles. But all attention went to Daisy as she bounded over to the group of apprentices.
“Berrypaw, just look at you!” she exclaimed. “Your fur is sticking out all over the place. And Mousepaw—have you collected every single burr between here and the lake?”
“It’s okay, I can do it,” Berrypaw protested.
“Nonsense,” Daisy scolded. “You can’t go to your warrior ceremony looking like some scruffy band of rogue kits. Any cat would think I hadn’t brought you up properly.” She began licking Berrypaw again, then broke off to add, “Hazelpaw, you’re just as bad! Have you seen the state of your tail?”
“I hope Firestar has forgotten about my tail,” Berrypaw mewed anxiously. “He might use it to give me my warrior name.” Berrypaw’s tail was just a short stump. When he was a kit he had snuck out of the camp to go hunting and caught his tail in a foxtrap.
“What, Berrystumpytail?” Poppypaw suggested playfully. “That would be a mouthful!”
“Oh, no!” Berrypaw wailed. “Firestar wouldn’t, would he?”
“Don’t be silly,” Daisy mewed.
“I’m sure you don’t have to worry.” Brightheart’s voice joined the conversation. “When the dog pack attacked me, Bluestar gave me Lostface as my warrior name. But when Firestar became leader, he changed it. I’m sure he wouldn’t give any cat a cruel name.”
“I hope not!” Berrypaw still sounded worried.
“Be quiet, all of you,” Graystripe interrupted. “The ceremony is about to start.”
The excited murmuring of the clan cats died into silence as Firestar began to speak. “No clan can survive without new warriors. Brambleclaw, Dustpelt, Spiderleg, are your apprentices ready for their warrior ceremony?”
“Berrypaw has trained well,” Brambleclaw replied.
“Hazelpaw will be a credit to her clan.” Dustpelt meowed solemnly.
“Mousepaw is ready to be a warrior.” Spiderleg added, a hint of amusement on his voice.
Firestar padded to the edge of the highledge, taking a moment of silence before he began the ancient speech. “I, Firestar, leader of Thunderclan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on these three apprentices.” The clan leader’s voice rang out above the rustle of trees at the top of the hollow. “They have trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend them to you as warriors in their turn. Berrypaw, Hazelpaw, Mousepaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend this clan, even at the cost of your lives?”
“I do!” Berrypaw called haughtily.
“I do.” Hazelpaw replied, sounding as solemn as her mentor.
“I do!” Mousepaw added cheerily.
“Then by the powers of Starclan I give you your warrior names,” Firestar went on. “Berrypaw, from this moment you will be known as Berrynose.”
“Oh, thank you!” the new warrior exclaimed, interrupting his clan leader.
A ripple of amusement passed through the clan, though Hollypaw caught a hiss of annoyance from Berrynose’s former mentor, Brambleclaw.
Firestar waited for the noise to die down before continuing. “Starclan honors your bravery and your enthusiasm. Hazelpaw shall be known as Hazeltail. Starclan honors your patience and determination. And Mousepaw will be known as Mousewhisker. Starclan honors your energy and compassion. We welcome you all as full warriors of Thunderclan.” The wise leader came down from the highledge, laying his muzzle on each new warrior’s head in turn before they licked his shoulder. “Thunderclan is proud of you all,” Firestar finished. “We will be safe under your guard tonight during your vigil.”
“Mousewhisker! Hazeltail! Berrynose!” The clan welcomed the three new warriors with enthusiastic yowls.
Firestar climbed the rock once more, waiting for the cheers to die down before he continued. “There is one more thing we must do before I dismiss this meeting.”
Murmurs of confusion replaced those of excitement and pride from a few moments before. Hollypaw could only imagine every cat was wondering what this was about. All the other kits and apprentices were too young for ceremonies.
“Jaypaw has been called by Starclan to walk the path of a medicine cat. In his place, Hollypaw will be training as a warrior.” The confusion now increased into shock as cats across the clearing gasped. Hollypaw was momentarily hurt that Firestar presented it as though she had been kicked out of the position, but this was probably the only way the clan would take it well.
“Jaypaw, Hollypaw, is it your wish to change the paths you take in this clan?”
Hollypaw looked at her brother, and for a moment it looked as if he was staring back. This wasn’t a ceremony she had ever heard being done before, but it was clear what they should do.
“I do.” They said in near-perfect unison.
“Then Jaypaw, Leafpool will be your mentor from this moment onward. May she guide you in the strength and wisdom your position requires. And Hollypaw?” Firestar turned to face her, and as they locked eyes she wondered for the first time who her mentor would be. As a medicine cat it was guaranteed, but now it could be anyone in this clearing. She hoped they would get along. “Your mentor will be Thornclaw.”