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that time iida got stuck in that bathroom

Summary:

Tenya is going to die here.

The bathroom is tiny, with barely enough room to move around freely. It's several carriages away from his seat. His phone is in his bag, the zips padlocked together as is the proper safety precaution. Tenya is going to die alone in the bathroom of a train, racing through the middle of Europe, with nobody to know what happened to him.

Notes:

asdfhksajf this is PURE UNADULTERATED CRACK and it is all rey n mjs fault ily <3

based on a true story

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

It's the summer of their second year, and Class 2-A are on a train.

Aizawa had suggested the trip as a way to relieve their stress, after a long term filled with exams and matches to determine their rankings entering third year. He'd suggested within Japan, but after loud booing spurred on by Ashido had changed his mind and arranged them a trip to Europe.

The train they're on right now is going from Paris International, where they'd connected in off the plane from Tokyo, to Romania. Aizawa is asleep three rows ahead of Ochako, who's sitting next to Midoriya. Iida and Asui are behind them. Todoroki is in the seat opposite, stretching out over two chairs and fast asleep. Bakugou is yelling something towards the back of the carriage. There's a family sitting on the side seats at the front, watching them with wide eyes, and Ochako predicts that their next stop will be when they finally get sick of her class' volume and move to find other spots.

Right now, Midoriya is fishing out his Top Trumps pack, an old toy they stopped making a few years ago. The pack is Pro Hero-themed, and its age means that it's missing a lot of the current heroes. Ochako flips through the cards for Crimson Riot and All Might, glossy and laminated.

"Who wants to play?" Midoriya asks excitedly. "There are a lot of Silver Age heroes in this one!"

"I'm down, kero," says Asui.

Ochako shoots him a thumbs up. "Of course! Iida, what about you?"

The other boy stands up then, easing himself out of his seat and putting something in his bag. "I believe I will take advantage of this first round to go to the toilet," he says, reaching up to adjust his glasses. "I should be back for the second round, however, Midoriya, and then I'd love to play! It's very charitable of you to share your cards like this."

Midoriya beams up at him. "Oh, no problem, Iida! It's fun for everyone anyway!"

Iida smiles back, and then turns on his heel to navigate backwards through the train. Ochako ignores the thump of feet being put back down on the ground as Iida passes.

"Bakugou-kun, you should take your feet off the chair!" Iida scolds.

"Oi, Glasses, don't tell me what to do!" Bakugou yells back.

"Top Trumps!" Ochako says brightly.

"Did someone say Top Trumps?" comes a voice, and Ochako twists in her seat to see Kaminari hanging over the back of Asui's seat. "Man, I used to love that game!" He looks down at the person sitting next to him, and says, "Do you wanna join, Sero?"

"Hell yeah!" Sero's voice cheers. A moment later, Sero's head pops up behind Iida's vacant chair. "You cool with that, Midoriya?"

Midoriya blushes, red blooming bright across his cheeks. "Of course!"

Kaminari cheers. "Neat! Thanks, dude!"

Sero beams toothily.

Deftly, Midoriya starts dealing out cards to all of them, splitting them five ways. Ochako spreads her cards. Up front is a shining portrait of Endeavor as a younger hero. Ochako wrinkles her nose at it, and leafs through the rest of her hand. She's got a lot of averaging cards, but some secret weapons she feels ready to whip out. She definitely has a chance at winning.

Twenty minutes later, Ochako is definitely not winning.

Somehow, Midoriya's strategic genius has managed to transfer itself to Top Trumps. In what is possibly an even bigger surprise, Kaminari is the one locked in a stalemate with him. The electric boy has two cards left, Midoriya three, and they're playing for the rest of the deck in what is a tiebreaker that seems to be defying probability.

Midoriya says, "Speed."

"Ninety-seven," says Kaminari, a thread of confidence in his voice. He flips the card over to reveal an image of the old Ingenium, Iida's brother, mid-sprint.

Midoriya raises an eyebrow in a manner scarily reminiscent of Aizawa, and turns his card over. The front of the card reads O'Clock. "Ninety-eight," says Midoriya, grinning wolfishly.

Kaminari lets out a howl. "No!"

He slumps, and Sero pats him on the back consolingly. "Good job, bro. You tried really hard."

"I was so sure I had it with Ingenium," Kaminari mumbles.

Midoriya flushes, clearly pleased with himself and hiding it badly. "I'm sorry, Kaminari-kun! O'Clock is relatively unknown, especially after his disappearance, but his speed is the highest of any of the deck —"

"Woah, dude, I'm not mad!" Kaminari says hastily, reaching over Asui's head to muss up Midoriya's hair. Asui looks slightly ruffled underneath his arm. "Chill, it's all good. It was a fun match!"

Something occurs to Ochako then, and she frowns.

"Where's Iida?" she asks. "He should probably be back by now."

"Hmm," says Midoriya, looking thoughtful. "I'm sure there's just a queue, or something."

Ochako hums briefly. "I'm going to check on him, I think," she says. "Just to be sure."

"Probably a good idea, kero," says Asui. "Should we wait for you for the next round?"

Ochako waves her hand. "No, it's okay! Go ahead without me. Good job, Deku," she tells the winner as an aside.

He beams at her. "Thank you, Uraraka-san! We'll deal you in when you get back."

Ochako flashes him a smile and turns to retrace Iida's path down the train to the nearest toilet.

- - -

Tenya is going to die here.

The bathroom is tiny, with barely enough room to move around freely. It's several carriages away from his seat. His phone is in his bag, the zips padlocked together as is the proper safety precaution. Tenya is going to die alone in the bathroom of a train, racing through the middle of Europe, with nobody to know what happened to him.

"H-hello?" he calls again, knocking on the door. He really doesn't want to have to involve a stranger in a situation such as this, embarrassing as it is, but he'd rather not spend the rest of his life in this cubicle. He could break out with the use of his engines, of course, or employ Recipro Burst in a bathroom breakout, but property damage is high on the list of lines Tenya has not yet crossed. He refuses to participate in it and break that streak. "Is anybody there?"

There's a soft thud outside his door, and he goes still.

A voice outside the door speaks. Tenya's eyes go wide.

"I'm — I'm sorry, I can't seem to understand you," he says, flustered, and then switches to English. "Do you speak English?"

The voice says something else unrecognizable.

Tenya is going to die here. "I'm so sorry," he says, "I do not — could you possibly open the door?"

The voice repeats what Tenya can vaguely identify as the same phrase. Suddenly, he empathizes with Midoriya; he wants to cry. He takes in a deep breath, and it's then that he hears a female voice outside the door.

"Hello!" says the voice. "Is this the queue?"

Uraraka!

The voice says something else.

"Uraraka!" Iida yells, voice cracking uncharacteristically as it pitches wildly.

"Iida-kun…? Is that you?" Uraraka says hesitantly through the door. "Is something wrong?"

"I'm — well, "I seem to be in a... precarious situation. You see, I didn't read the sign on the door, and —" Tenya breaks off, flustered. "Well, I'm stuck in the bathroom."

A beat of silence passes, and then there's a snort from the other end. "Stuck?" Uraraka repeats, audibly giggling.

"This is not a laughing matter —"

"No! Of course not, Iida-kun, I just —" Uraraka breaks off again, stifling her laughter with a snorting noise. "Sorry —"

Tenya feels his face heat up. "Uraraka-kun," he says, desperately. "I can't get out."

Uraraka laughs again. "What — okay, what does the sign say?" she says to herself, sounding slightly more composed, and doesn't say anything for a moment.

"Do you… happen to have ten cents on you?" Tenya asks hopefully. "I'll pay you back, of course, but —"

"No," Uraraka says somewhat sadly. "I don't have them, but I can go back!"

"Don't leave me here," Tenya squeaks. "Please, Uraraka —"

"I'll be right back," Uraraka says chirpily, and then Tenya hears the sound of footsteps walking away.

He stares at the bathroom floor.

Uraraka, you're my only hope.

Tenya waits for what feels like a lifetime, motion sickness rising as the train speeds along its rumbling track. The ka-chnk ka-chnk ka-chnk of the rails ingrains in his mind, a repeating tattoo, and he finds himself tapping along to it, standing all alone in the toilet. Eventually, he turns his watch over to check the time. Fifteen minutes have passed since Uraraka left to get change. Tenya's eyes bulge out of his head.

"I'm going to die here," he says, aloud.

- - -

"Someone must have change!" Uraraka shouts. "How can nineteen students not have a single cent between them?"

"It's —" begins Sero.

"It's the economy," says Kirishima.

"The economy is in shambles," says Kaminari, nodding sagely.

Ochako's hand flies to her face, making a loud slapping noise.

They've been scouring their bags for change for what must be ten minutes now, rummaging through all their bags except Iida's, which is padlocked shut. Ironically, he's the class member most likely to have an array of change for almost exactly this kind of situation. Not exactly, though, Ochako muses, because the thought of getting locked in a bathroom is slightly too far-fetched for even Iida to have thought of. They've even asked Yaoyorozu to make ten cents, though she'd abjectly refused. Even the thought of a suffering Iida isn't enough to sway her from her firm stance on never producing money.

Eventually, they come to a doomed conclusion. The person supposedly most responsible on this trip, Ochako reasons, must have change.

"We need to wake Aizawa-sensei," she says aloud.

Todoroki raises an eyebrow. "A dangerous move," he says.

Without any other plan, they go through with it anyway. Ochako and Midoriya creep tentatively over to Aizawa's seat. He looks like he's sitting straight, but his eyes are closed.

"Sensei?" Midoriya says hesitantly.

Aizawa cracks one eye open. "Is someone dying?" he asks.

"No," says Ochako.

"Injured?"

"Not… exactly."

"Then why have I been woken up?" their teacher says dryly, unblinking. In that moment, he reminds Ochako of her neighbor's old cat: lazy, unaffected, and in desire of a nap.

"Well," Midoriya begins, "Iida's… stuck."

"Stuck?"

"In the bathroom," says Ochako.

Aizawa's other eye cracks open. "What," he says.

"He went in and now he can't get out," says Ochako, "because the toilet needs money to flush."

Aizawa is silent for one long moment. "That's an entirely illogical system," he says.

"…Yeah," says Ochako, wincing.

"We were wondering," says Midoriya, "if you had any change, sensei."

"What kind?" Aizawa asks.

"Ten cents," Ochako tells him.

Their teacher inhales, bends forward, and reaches down to rummage through his black backpack. Moments later, he comes back up with a cat-covered purse in his hand. "Let me take a look."

He leafs through several Euro notes, just like all the sparkly new money Ochako and her classmates have, before finally producing a round, blunt coin.

"Here we go," he says, and Ochako snatches it out of his hands.

"Thanks, Aizawa-sensei!" she shouts, and sprints back towards Iida's cubicle, Midoriya hot on her heels. She skids to a halt in front of the still-locked door. "Iida-kun?"

"Uraraka-kun!"

"We got change," she says brightly, and slides the coin under the door. "Sorry it took so long!"

There's a beat of silence. The tinny, rattling flush of the toilet sounds behind the door. The cubicle door slides open.

Iida bursts out of the bathroom, glasses askew. "I'm free," he exclaims, and shoots forward in a hug. Ochako's mouth makes an O of surprise, but the shock passes soon and she hugs him back. "Thank you, Uraraka-kun," he says, voice low and serious.

"You sound like you've just been in a fight, Iida-kun," she tells him lightly.

"I thought," Iida says, seriously, "that I would die in there."

Midoriya stifles a laugh. Ochako slings her arm around Iida's neck, guiding him back to their carriage.

"Come on! We can go visit another bathroom instead."

"No," says Iida, emphatically, and Ochako laughs all the way back to their seats.

Notes:

is the economy joke shamelessly stolen from its always sunny in philadelphia, you ask?

yes.