Work Text:
Lan Xichen is watching Jiang Cheng pace around their shared apartment. This lockdown doesn’t seem to be doing him any good, and Lan Xichen is watching it with worry.
It’s been going on for the past two days now; Jiang Cheng is irritable and clearly doesn’t know what to do with all his free time.
It’s understandable, Lan Xichen supposes, because he has never met a more hard working person than Jiang Cheng.
But studying the material on your own can only get you so far, and when there’s nothing to do but homework and assignments, then even those pass really quickly.
Lan Xichen suspects that Jiang Cheng worked through his workload for this week on the first day and is now left floundering, because he doesn’t know what else to do.
Lan Xichen paced his own homework out, so he has a little bit to do on every day, but he also has his music to keep him occupied, something Jiang Cheng doesn’t have.
Maybe that’s why this is hitting him harder than Lan Xichen himself.
“Jiang Cheng,” Lan Xichen eventually tries, when he becomes afraid that he’s going to pace right through the floor.
“What?” Jiang Cheng snaps out and barely spares Lan Xichen a glance.
“What’s wrong?” Lan Xichen asks and continues to watch in worry how Jiang Cheng bristles at his words.
Lan Xichen is used to his anger and his snippish ways—it’s one of the many things Lan Xichen loves about him, not that he’ll ever tell Jiang Cheng about that—but this rubs him wrong.
Jiang Cheng acts like he usually does—maybe even more so than normally—but Lan Xichen gets the distinct impression that he’s a lot more delicate than normal.
Jiang Cheng is always sensitive—his anger is just trying to hide it—but right now Lan Xichen fears that he would break with the wrong words.
“Nothing’s wrong,” Jiang Cheng presses out, and he finally comes to a stop in front of his door.
Lan Xichen doesn’t want to let him leave, doesn’t think it would be good for him to be cooped up in his own room right now, so he presses on.
“Do you need a hug?” Lan Xichen carefully asks and watches how Jiang Cheng tenses.
“No,” he bites out, but Lan Xichen can hear the wobble in his voice.
Still, it’s clear that Jiang Cheng isn’t ready for a hug, so Lan Xichen gives him a different option.
“Do you want to be alone?” Lan Xichen asks next and Jiang Cheng’s shoulders move almost up to his ears.
“No,” he says again, though this time it’s a lot softer and way more fragile than before.
“Okay,” Lan Xichen says just as softly. “How about I sit here on the couch then, and you can sit on the other end, and if you want or need something else, you just let me know?” Lan Xichen offers him and he fears Jiang Cheng might still leave when he suddenly turns around and stalks to the couch.
Lan Xichen offers him the blanket they keep on there, and Jiang Cheng snatches it out of his hands without looking at or touching Lan Xichen, before he flops down on the couch.
Jiang Cheng wraps himself up in the blanket, until just the top of his head and his eyes are still visible and then he sits there, like a miserable blob.
Lan Xichen itches to pull him over to himself, to hug him until all the tension leaves Jiang Cheng, but he knows it would be the wrong move.
Jiang Cheng has to come to him.
Lan Xichen picks up his book again, though he’s pretty sure he’s not going to remember even a single line he reads, and busies himself with that.
It’s not long before Jiang Cheng melts into the couch, and Lan Xichen does not smile at that, because if Jiang Cheng notices he would be back to sitting angrily.
When Jiang Cheng starts to scoot over to Lan Xichen, he finally turns to look at him.
“I—I don’t want a hug,” Jiang Cheng starts and Lan Xichen smiles encouragingly at him, because it’s clear he does want something. “Can I just—rest here?” he goes on and pointedly looks at Lan Xichen’s side.
“Of course you can,” Lan Xichen gives back and lifts his arm in invitation.
Jiang Cheng hesitates for a moment longer, but then he moves in, and presses himself to Lan Xichen’s side.
Lan Xichen’s heart stumbles a little in his chest when he realizes just how well Jiang Cheng fits against him, but Lan Xichen tells it so shut up.
This is not what this is about, after all.
“Are you—,” Lan Xichen starts but Jiang Cheng cuts him off.
“Don’t,” he presses out, and Lan Xichen is startled to hear how choked up he sounds all of a sudden.
“Okay, then,” Lan Xichen gives back and then just goes back to reading his book.
He keeps half an eye on Jiang Cheng, just to make sure that he’s still okay, and that he didn’t burst into tears already, but Jiang Cheng has his eyes closed and if it wasn’t for the tension still so very apparent in his body, Lan Xichen would think he fell asleep.
Jiang Cheng doesn’t usually ask for any kind of contact; he’s much like Lan Wangji in that regard, Lan Xichen has found. He doesn’t ask for it, but on days he really needs it, he always steps a little bit too close, and doesn’t protest at all when Lan Xichen does touch him.
There never has been a day like this though, where Jiang Cheng almost arches into the contact.
They spend a good half hour like this, Jiang Cheng sitting with his eyes closed and Lan Xichen reading his book, before Jiang Cheng melts into a puddle.
“I’m sorry about this,” Jiang Cheng mutters into the blanket and Lan Xichen closes his book to fully turn towards him.
“There’s no need for that,” Lan Xichen tells him, but Jiang Cheng only sinks further into the blanket.
“I shouldn’t be like this,” Jiang Cheng mumbles, voice barely audible through the blanket and Lan Xichen pulls him closer to himself.
“It’s okay if you’re not feeling well.”
“But I shouldn’t be this needy,” Jiang Cheng replies and a hint of the usual anger makes its way back into his voice.
“You should be whatever you need. And asking for this is hardly needy,” Lan Xichen tries to reassure Jiang Cheng. “Remember when I wanted to fly back to visit Lan Wangji?” he then asks, because he can tell the reassurance is doing nothing for Jiang Cheng.
“Yes,” Jiang Cheng replies. “You were a whole dumbass.”
“I was,” Lan Xichen agrees. “And after you talked some sense into me, what did I do for two days?”
“You slept in my bed,” Jiang Cheng gives back and Lan Xichen nods, still going hot with that memory.
Waking up tangled up with Jiang Cheng was a whole new kind of torture.
“I did. Because I felt lonely, and isolated and I missed my brother. Did you think me needy for that?” Lan Xichen wants to know and Jiang Cheng moves out of his blanket cocoon simply to glare at Lan Xichen.
It makes Lan Xichen smile, because it’s progress.
“I would never,” he decidedly says and Lan Xichen nods.
“And I would never think of you as needy,” he says and Jiang Cheng tilts his head in consideration at that.
“And what if I want to sleep in your bed for a while?” he then asks, and even though Lan Xichen’s stomach does a flip at that, he knows Jiang Cheng doesn’t mean it like that.
“Then you can,” Lan Xichen gives back and reaches out to brush his thumb over the skin under Jiang Cheng’s eyes. “You can have anything you want,” Lan Xichen tacks on, and he knows he’s blushing, offering too much, but he’s not going to take it back.
“Anything, huh?” Jiang Cheng mumbles and sticks his head back into his blanket cocoon.
Lan Xichen’s heart falls, because it’s a clear dismissal but then Jiang Cheng speaks up again.
“Not now,” he mumbles and then turns his head so he can look at Lan Xichen better. “I—I would like that, but. Not now. I’m not—my headspace it’s all—,” he makes a little wriggling gesture. “But it’s not a no. It’s a later, okay?” Jiang Cheng asks and Lan Xichen smiles at him, his heart beating fast in his chest.
“Very much okay,” he agrees and squeezes Jiang Cheng.
And it is. Even a no would have been okay because this is Jiang Cheng’s decision, so this is already so much better than anything Lan Xichen dared to hope for. Waiting really isn’t any hardship at all for Lan Xichen.