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Brianna Cook had helped many interesting characters out during her time working at the Ebott Humane Society, especially after monsters emerged from the mountain. Why, just last week she had found a seeing-eye dog… for a dog monster. At this point, she didn’t think anything could throw her off.
That is, of course, until today.
Towering before her was an imposing skeleton monster. His fangs were sharp and his red eyes were even sharper. He was dressed in a crisp black leather jacket and black skinny jeans, and Brianna would’ve laughed at the tee-shirt that read “Bone To Be Wild” had he not cut such an intimidating figure. Still, she had learned that monsters tended to look a lot meaner than they really were, so she put on a bright smile. “Good morning, sir! How may I help you today?”
The skeleton eyed her up and down before taking a step closer to her desk. “Yes. It is indeed a good morning,” he mused, setting a clawed hand on the desk’s surface. His voice was much more nasally than she would’ve expected, but it was also rather loud, commanding the attention of everyone in the area and then some. “I’ve been informed that this is where I can acquire a dog?”
“Yes sir! We have lots of friendly dogs up for adoption.”
The skeleton sneered. “Well that won’t do.”
Brianna blinked. “I’m… sorry?”
“I don’t NEED a ‘friendly’ dog,” the skeleton huffed. “What I need is a tough as nails guard dog, one worthy of serving The Great and Terrible Papyrus.”
Brianna took a moment to absorb this information. Today was going to be an interesting one, to say the least. She recovered, injecting a bit more perk into her smile. “Well, we have several very smart dogs here. I have no doubt that given a bit of time and training, they’ll suit your needs just fine.”
Papyrus stood up straight. “Wonderful. Let’s see the beasts then.”
Brianna moved to exit the reception area, but hesitated. She bit her lip. “Mr. Papyrus, sir,” she slowly began, “I have to ask: you do understand that adoption is a serious commitment, correct? When you adopt an animal, you’re welcoming a new family member into your home, not just something to do your bidding.”
At this, Papyrus stiffened, and his sockets narrowed. “Of course I understand that,” he snapped. “Do not misjudge me, human, or it’ll be the last mistake you ever make. I’ve done my research, and I can assure you that I am well prepared to look after any mutt I bring home.”
A chill shot up Brianna’s spine, and she nodded. Despite monsters really just being secret sweeties, they still seriously knew how to scare the daylights out of someone when they wanted to. “I-I’m glad to hear that, sir. I only ask because I care about the animals here; they’re like family to me, and I’d hate to see one of them fall into the wrong hands.”
Papyrus relaxed a bit and nodded. “You care about your own. I can understand that. Still, the concern is unnecessary,” he added with a wave of his hand. He raised a brow bone. “Shall we get to it, then?”
Relaxing as well, Brianna nodded and hurried out to show him to the dog kennels. “So, Mr. Papyrus, you said you were looking for a potential guard dog?”
“Indeed!” Skull held high, Papyrus surveyed the area as they walked, his judging gaze analyzing everything in his sight. “Personally, I would’ve preferred something like a… Doberman… or a Rottweiler,” he cast a glance down at her, looking a bit unsure for the first time. Brianna nodded in encouragement, and he recovered, resuming his air of unfaltering confidence. “Yes! One of those big, tough breeds!”
“But…?”
Papyrus huffed and crossed his arms. “BUT dogs that large are not allowed in the apartment building we live in, so I simply must make do with something smaller.”
Ah, a common problem among pet owners. Still, at least he was able to own a pet at all. “Well, you’ll be happy to know that a small dog can be just as fearsome as a larger one. I mean, have you ever seen a chihuahua?” Brianna asked with a laugh.
Papyrus rolled his eyes with a groan. “UGH. My brother suggested one of those, and I absolutely REFUSE to allow such an… annoying creature into our home,” he said, waving his hands for emphasis.
Brianna laughed and nodded. “Okay, okay. Duly noted. No chihuahuas.”
The pair finally reached the first potential candidate. Brianna couldn’t help but smirk at the look of genuine surprise that washed over Papyrus’ face. “Human! Explain how this large dog is so tiny!”
Brianna stifled a laugh and crouched down before the dog in the cage. “This is Maxwell, and he’s a Miniature Pinscher. So, basically a Doberman, but smaller.”
Papyrus knelt down, red eyes big and round as he studied the pup. “They don’t get bigger?”
“Nope! They stay this tiny and cute forever!”
Maxwell was excitedly jumping at the gate, his whole body wiggling and jiggling as he whined for attention. After some encouragement from Brianna, Papyrus reached out to him, and his hand was immediately assaulted with kisses. His skull softened as he started to pet the pup, and Brianna felt that satisfying warmth that happened when she knew a connection had been made. All in a day’s work.
Or so she thought.
Something in Papyrus’ face shifted, and that warm fuzzy feeling was snuffed out. “It’s... certainly affectionate,” Papyrus mused with a rather conflicted expression.
“Yes, he is. He’s honestly just a big baby.” Brianna tilted her head and studied him, trying to figure out what was wrong.
“I see…”
“Is that a problem?”
“No, not necessarily.”
“But…?”
Papyrus grimaced, looking rather reluctant to voice his thoughts. “It… he… doesn’t seem like he’d be terribly fond of being left alone.”
Brianna blinked in surprise and shook her head. “No, I’m afraid not. Maxwell’s kind of a big crybaby.”
“Pardon?”
“He’ll whine and cry up a huge storm the minute someone leaves him.”
Papyrus’ brow furrowed. “I see…” Slowly, he pulled back his hand from the pup, resulting in the previously mentioned crying to begin.
In a flash, Papyrus was standing upright once more, his face stoic and uncaring once more. “Come, human! Show me the rest of your dogs!”
Startled, Brianna gave Maxwell one last pat on the head before hopping up and getting to it.
After that first encounter, things picked up a pattern. All of the dogs seemed to love Papyrus, and it was clear he liked them too, but for some reason, he wasn’t willing to commit. Finally, after dog number five (a cocker spaniel mix named Rocco), Brianna felt it was time to say something. “Excuse me… Mr. Papyrus?”
Papyrus froze and snapped his head to look at her.
“Is there perhaps something you’re looking for that you’re not finding in these dogs?” she asked. “I only ask because I really do want to help you find your perfect match.”
Papyrus looked away, and his face grew a bit pained. “It is not you who is at fault, human,” he mumbled, fiddling with his gloves. “No, as ridiculous as it sounds, it appears that I’m the one with the problem.”
Brianna blinked and tilted her head. “I’m sorry? What’s wrong?”
He let out a heavy, frustrated sigh. “I had not realized a dog would require… so much attention,” he admitted. “As it stands, my job requires me to be out for long stretches of the day. As for my brother, well, it’s anyone’s guess when he’ll be home.” He clenched his fists, glaring at the floor. “Given the circumstances, I feel that I am unqualified to adopt a dog at the current time. I hope you can forgive me for wasting your time.”
Brianna’s heart sank. “Oh, Mr. Papyrus…” She reached out to place a supportive hand on his arm before thinking better of it. Poor guy. He seemed like he really wanted to adopt, and while she had just met him, she felt fairly certain he’d make a wonderful owner.
It was too bad he didn’t have the time for a dog.
…
A light bulb went off above Brianna’s head.
She smiled, teeth big and bright. “You know, Mr. Papyrus… I think I might actually have an idea.”
Papyrus turned to look at her, eyes narrowed with suspicion. “Do you plan to share this idea?”
“Of course, of course. Just follow me please…”
.
.
.
“Human.”
“Yes?”
“I may not have eyeballs, but even I can see that these aren’t dogs.”
Brianna giggled and walked over to the nearest cage. “No, they’re cats.”
Papyrus sent a disgusted look at a brown tabby that was shamelessly grooming its nether regions. “I informed you I was here for a dog. Not a cat.”
“So you did. But! You also informed me you aren’t able to give a dog the proper care and attention it needs, correct?”
Papyrus grimaced. “Correct…”
Brianna’s smile grew. “Well, you’ll be pleased to know that cats are actually quite content to spend long periods of time by themselves.”
At this, Papyrus’ face turned to genuine surprise. “Really?”
“Mhm! And while they’re not quite as easily trained as dogs, they’re just as smart, if not smarter,” she went on, affectionately petting a black and white cat as she spoke. “Plus, while some might not be as friendly and lovable as others, when they form a bond with you, it’s for life. A cat absolutely can and will fight to defend its family, and they can be just as fierce as any dog.”
“Is that so?” Papyrus tapped his chin thoughtfully, mulling everything over. Then, finally, he nodded to himself and stood up straight. “Very well then! Human! Show me your fiercest feline warrior!”
Brianna hid her snicker behind a hand. “Our fiercest… Are you sure about that?”
“Yes!”
“Positive?”
“That is what I said!”
“Super duper UBER-“
“HUMAN! CEASE THIS NONSENSE AND SHOW ME THE CAT THIS INSTANT!!!”
Brianna laughed and held up her hands. “Alright, you asked for it.” Waving him over she brought him to a cage that housed a rather fluffy white cat. As they approached, it began to quietly growl. “Oh stop it, you big meanie. Someone’s actually here to see you.”
Papyrus narrowed his sockets. “THIS ball of floof is your fiercest cat?”
Brianna smirked, carefully stepped aside, and opened the cage. “Mr. Papyrus, I’d like you to meet-“
“MRRREEEEEEAAOOOWWW!!!”
“NYEH?!”
The second the cage door was open, the cat lunged out and sank its shining white fangs into the closest limb, which just so happened to be Papyrus’ arm. Amazingly, he stood his ground, only appearing slightly surprised. He raised his arm higher, and the cat’s body hung limply in the air, its grip on his arm firm.
“-Mittens.”
Papyrus tilted his head, studying Mittens. “It seems I misjudged you, cat,” he mused. “You are quite the fighter, much more so than those pathetic dogs.”
Mittens merely growled.
Narrowing his sockets, Papyrus leaned in and growled as well, making direct eye contact.
Mittens’ blue eyes grew wide, and the growling ceased.
Papyrus smirked. “Good. Glad we got that sorted.”
Meanwhile, Brianna watched in shock and delight. Mittens had been at the shelter for what felt like ages: no one wanted to adopt a cat with such aggressive tendencies. However, it seemed like she just might’ve found her forever home.
Papyrus turned back to Brianna with a frown. “You said its name is ‘Mittens’?”
“That’s her name, yes.”
Papyrus scoffed. “Well no wonder you’re so angry; that’s an absolutely ridiculous name!”
“Couldn’t agree more,” Brianna said with a nod. “If you adopt her though, you’re able to give her a new name.”
Standing up straight, Papyrus detached Mittens from his arm and held her out, eyeing her up and down. Surprisingly, she didn’t fight back, but rather appeared to be doing the same with him. At last, he smirked. “I believe I will do just that! A warrior as fierce as her deserves a truly fearsome name, one that will strike true terror into the very souls of those who dare wrong her!”
Brianna grinned. “Absolutely. And what sort of name would that be?”
Papyrus brought the cat a bit closer to his skull, narrowing his sockets as he thought.
Seizing the opportunity, Mittens leaned forward to lightly bite his nasal cavity, a rumbly purr escaping her.
Papyrus grinned. “Doomfanger.”