Chapter Text
Eddie’s hands rushed over his desk, sweeping almost everything into his new backpack. His brows were heavily knitted together. The stress of starting school was creeping up his neck quicker than his brain could catch it. In 12 hours, 18 minutes and 46 seconds he’ll be stepping into the halls of Derry High for the first time. The nerves were replaced by excitement as quickly as they’d appeared. He was actually going to high school, a proper high school. With lockers, a cafeteria, classrooms and more than one teacher. Eddie remembered the tedious days he had spent with his mother, learning grammar, algebra, history and the basics of French. He used to love being home-schooled by his mother, but that was when he was eleven and hated talking to anyone but Bill and Stan. And even now as they sit across the room, he can’t bring himself to talk to them. Eddie took a gasp of air and flicked his eyes to the red inhaler on his desk. Inches from grabbing it, a cough came from his bed and he snapped his head at Stan who had one eyebrow raised.
“Eddie, we’ve gone over this you don’t need it,” Stan reminded him as he shifted his position in Bill’s lap. “Why do you still have it anyway?”
“I um, well.” He searched his brain for a reasonable answer and slumped on his desk chair when he realised, he didn’t have one. He had known for years now that all his medication wasn’t real. Bullshit he remembered telling his mother at the young age of thirteen. Now seventeen, Eddie couldn’t care less about what his mother thought was right for him. He still loved her, but he was done with listening to all her lies.
“Hey, you’ll b-b-be fine.” Bill’s kind eyes reassured him. “You’re Ed-d-ddie K-kaspbrak, everyone loves y-you, your-”
“So small and adorable” Stan cut him off, a giggle escaping his lips. Eddie shot daggers at the curly-haired boy. Bill gave him a small smack on the back of his head, and Stan sank further into his boyfriend’s lap.
“But that’s the problem, everyone’s at least three inches taller than me.” Eddie stood at a measly five foot five and, even without having much interaction with people his age, he knew the entire school would be towering over him. He knew he was excited but the more he thought about the fine details the nerves started to take over. He was going to be the new kid, the home-schooled kid, and the short kid. What a lovely combination. Eddie thought to himself and internally rolled his eyes.
Eddie sat staring at the pale blue walls of his bedroom for too long before his mother’s voice echoed from the living room.
“Do you boys need anything up there?” She asked, voice sickly sweet. She didn’t really care, she just wanted to check up on Eddie for the third time that night.
“No, we’re fine ma,” Eddie yelled back. From the corner of his eye, he saw Stan pull a face and stuck his tongue out at him. Eddie sighed and moved from his chair to the bed, resting his head on the clean wall.
“R-r-remind us how sh-she agreed with you g-going to d-d-d-”
“DHS.” Stan finished for Bill, smiling at his Bill’s frustrated expression.
“To be honest, I don’t know either. I was realising how sick of her smothering and babying I was and one day I snapped. I yelled at her for the first time since I called her out on the medication bullshit. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her like that. I don’t know if she was scared or disappointed or angry maybe. I don’t know. I just… I don’t want to hurt her but at the same time I’m seventeen and she treats me like I’m still five and don’t know how to look after myself. I shouldn’t be locked inside this house for my whole life, right? I haven’t left this house more than ten times for something other than going to see my doctor. God, she’s so overbearing and controlling, how did I handle it when I was a kid? That’s right I didn’t know any better. Anyway, she agreed but made me promise all these stupid things, like,” his voice transformed into a high-pitched mockery of his mother’s, “always keep your inhaler and watch on you, always take your medication, keep up with your study, don’t talk to anyone. Fuck, what am I going to school for, I may as well stay here?” Bill stops him with a hand on his shoulder and a small smile.
“You’re r-rambling, E-e-eddie.” “Sorry sorry.” The heat crept up to his cheeks and he ran his hands over his face.
“I’m just nervous, you two are my only friends and now I’m being dumped into a huge fishbowl of staring and whispers. I don’t know it all seems like too much.”
“If you hate it, you can just come back here and let your mom home-school you again,” Stan suggested, and Eddie knew he was genuine but the idea of being stuck in his house any longer made him want to throw up.
“Thanks, but no thanks.” Eddie chuckled and closed his eyes. You’re going to be fine. It’s only for two years, it’s no big deal. He relaxed on his bed and repeated those words in his head. Eddie was calm for the first time in the past few days. He had everything he would need; he and his mother had gone shopping multiple times and he began to question whether she was getting as excited as he was, he doubted it though.
The peaceful moment didn’t last long before the notoriously loud music started coming from the house directly across the street. Eddie cringed and balled his blanket up in his fists, the music had first begun early in the summer and had been a recurring problem almost every night and Eddie relished in the nights when it was silent. He couldn’t pick out what was being played but Eddie thought it sounded ridiculous. It was just loud enough to be disruptive but not loud enough to properly listen to.
“Do they do this every night?” Stan sat up from Bill’s lap and crossed his arms over his chest.
“Not every night, but most.” Eddie hadn’t ever seen any adults enter or exit the house, just a tall dark-haired teenager in what looked like bright Hawaiian shirts. Eddie had caught himself staring, from his second-floor window, on a couple of occasions but he would never admit it.
“It m-m-must get an-nnoying,” Bill commented and both Stan and Eddie gave him a look that said, yeah, no shit. “Jeez, s-sorry.”
“I’ve gotten used to it by now, but I really hope it stops now that school is starting.” Eddie sighed and checked his watch. “Crap, it’s late you guys better head off before ma comes marching up here.”
“S-s-sure thing.” The two of them stood up and grab the small number of belongings they had brought with them, and they all walked down to Eddie’s front door. Eddie’s mother didn’t take her eyes off the television screen whilst saying goodbye to Bill and Stan, so they made their way out of the door swiftly. The three shared hugs and goodbyes out on the porch and Eddie watch them ride off on their bikes in opposite directions. Eddie lingered for another moment and let his gaze wander to the source of the obnoxious music. He rolled his eyes and shuffled back inside.
“Do you have all of your medication for tomorrow?” His mother asked from her armchair, eyes quickly flickering from the screen to Eddie and back.
“Yes, ma,” He answered automatically. “I’m going to bed now, okay?”
“Are you forgetting something?” She turned fully this time and poked a meaty finger into her left cheek. Eddie moved quickly, placing a chaste kiss to her cheek and rushed up the stairs. “Goodnight, Eddie bear.”
“Goodnight, ma.”
He finally took a breath when he was collapsed on his single bed, staring at the always clean ceiling. Taking another measured breath, he stood up and padded to his chest of drawers. He changed into his pyjamas and buried himself under the warm covers. Pulling out his phone he set his alarms and plugged in the charger. He set it on his nightstand which was empty except for an old white lamp. He rolled over and closed his eyes and tried to ease the racing thoughts plaguing his mind. Tomorrow was the first day of new beginnings and Eddie smiled softly as he drifted into a deep sleep.