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“I used to hate it,” David finally says, closing his eyes for a moment before pulling back to meet his fiancé’s gaze. Patrick doesn’t reply, instead giving a little nod, encouraging him to continue. “Before we lost everything, it was the only thing anyone would focus on. If they didn’t recognize my face, they recognized the name, and every time I tried to convince myself they actually liked me, but they just liked that, and what doors it opened for them.”
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Bookmark Notes:
It takes multiple drinks and a consequential collapse into bed at 2 a.m. for David to finally muster up the courage to talk to Patrick about their last names.
It comes out muffled against Patrick’s neck, clumsy and quiet and thick with fear. He never thought he’d be in a position where he’d have to decide, have to even bring the topic up at all.
He never thought anyone would want him long enough to marry him.
And now here he is, curled up against the love of his life, heart racing uncomfortably in his chest, because despite everything, he’s still not used to this feeling, to being loved and cherished and held. He can feel Patrick tense just slightly in his arms, and he’s about ready to pass out, not only from the alcohol and exhaustion, but from the continual worry that there will be a change of heart, that Patrick will turn around and tell him it’s over.
“Oh,” Patrick says, voice soft and confused. “I’ll take Rose.”
He says it like it’s simple, like he’d decided a long time ago and hadn’t given it a second thought.
“Really?”
And there it is. The turn. David pulls his arms into his chest, clutching his t-shirt between slightly shaky fingers as Patrick faces him, eyes warm and earnest as they meet his own.
“Yeah,” he says, though it comes out almost like a question.
“I...I didn’t know we decided that,” David says.
“Oh,” Patrick breathes out, “I kind of just assumed you’d want to keep it. Because of the store, and how much closer you’ve gotten with your family since you got here, and…” he trails off as tears rise in David’s eyes. David tries to blink them away, cursing himself internally for always being such an emotional wreck, but he can’t seem to help it.
Patrick wants his last name, not for the status it will bring him, or for some false hope at getting money, but because he thinks it’d be best for David.
“I’m sorry,” Patrick says urgently, reaching forward and pressing a hand to his cheek, thumb swiping away an escaped tear. “I shouldn’t have assumed.”
David shakes his head, allowing himself to be pulled closer into the warmth of Patrick’s embrace. He tucks his face into his collarbone and takes in a deep, shaky breath, trying to come up with the words he needs to convey just how much he’s thought of this, how it’s haunted him for weeks. He’s gone over the conversation in his head hundreds of times, and not once did it go like this, with Patrick being so understanding and selfless.
He’s not sure why. Patrick has always had those qualities.
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Bookmark Notes:
Lovely last name conversation