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Language:
English
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Published:
2019-08-30
Completed:
2023-07-23
Words:
75,126
Chapters:
132/132
Comments:
12,132
Kudos:
5,241
Bookmarks:
847
Hits:
162,331

Grandmaster of Meme-onic Cultivation

Summary:

The Untamed universe is exactly the same, except everybody has magical crystals that have a suspiciously familiar messaging system. The story is pretty much the same as the show, except everyone lives!! (so minor changes).
or
in which Wei WuXian tries his darndest to date Lan Zhan, Jiang Cheng possibly has a aneurysm, Jin ZiXuan is still the most awkward human alive, and Xue Yang makes me write some VERY cursed things. Written in chatfic format! :3

Comments are very much appreciated! ^.^b

Notes:

Listen, I know the premise of this fic is actually insane, but it somehow works really well.
The 'message crystals' they have work on some form of minor telepathy - they don't 'type' as such. That's all the explanation we are getting :3 Format best viewed on a desktop, but it doesn't matter too much I don't think!
On with the show

(See the end of the work for other works inspired by this one.)

Chapter 1: the suffering of jin zixuan begins

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

            [WEI WUXIAN entered OFFICIAL JIANG CLAN TRAVELLING CHAT]

WEI WUXIAN: does this work

            [JIANG CHENG entered OFFICIAL JIANG CLAN TRAVELLING CHAT]

JIANG CHENG: no

            [JIANG CHENG left OFFICIAL JIANG CLAN TRAVELLING CHAT]

WEI WUXIAN: it does! Hey can we talk about how peacock boy is a massive dick

            [JIANG YANLI entered OFFICIAL JIANG CLAN TRAVELLING CHAT]
            [JIANG YANLI changed name to SENIOR SISTER]

SENIOR SISTER: xianxian this is only for emergencies and regrouping if we split up. We can talk in person if you like =)

WEI WUXIAN: but this is so easy! And I can say whatever I like without risking being overheard and bringing eternal shame to the Jiang Clan

            [JIANG CHENG entered OFFICIAL JIANG CLAN TRAVELLING CHAT]

JIANG CHENG: you did that when you arrived age 3

WEI WUXIAN: wow when did peacock boy steal Jiang Cheng’s message crystal. So arrogant and rude

JIANG CHENG: wow when did wei wuxian volunteer to get his ass kicked

SENIOR SISTER: Little brothers, we should be thinking of how to find an inn room

WEI WUXIAN: targets located. I have an idea

JIANG CHENG: oh gods, he’s spotted the ladies. Senior sister, I apologize to all women on his behalf

SENIOR SISTER: thank you

 

            [WEI WUXIAN entered MIANMIAN PERSONAL CHAT]

WEI WUXIAN: hey

MIANMIAN: no

WEI WUXIAN: aw, all I wanted was to ask if we could borrow one little tiny room from your great and generous clan

MIANMIAN: no
(sent at 5.45pm)

(5.50pm)
MIANMIAN: ok I like you better in person

WEI WUXIAN: same goes for you! :D

WEI WUXIAN: hey can you add me to the Jin Clan chat? I’d like to say a friendly hello!

MIANMIAN: i know this is a bad decision, but it’s mine to make.

            [WEI WUXIAN has left MIANMIAN PERSONAL CHAT]

--

JIN ZIXUAN: So in conclusion, I am the most beautiful man alive.

            [WEI WUXIAN was added to JIN CLAN BEST CLAN]

WEI WUXIAN: hey @JIN ZIXUAN

JIN ZIXUAN: What?

WEI WUXIAN: bitch

            [WEI WUXIAN was permanently banned from JIN CLAN BEST CLAN]
            [WEI WUXIAN has left JIN CLAN BEST CLAN]
---

            [WEI WUXIAN entered OFFICIAL JIANG CLAN TRAVELLING CHAT]

WEI WUXIAN: oo the Jin Clan renamed their chat log

JIANG CHENG: don’t

           [WEI WUXIAN renamed the chat BAD BITCHES]
            [JIANG CHENG renamed the chat OFFICIAL JIANG CLAN TRAVELLING CHAT]
            [WEI WUXIAN renamed the chat EAT MY ASS JIANG CHENG]
            [JIANG CHENG renamed the chat OFFICIAL JIANG CLAN TRAVELLING CHAT]
            [WEI WUXIAN renamed the chat JIANG CHENG IS A BIG BABY]
            [SENIOR SISTER renamed the chat to STOP IF YOU WANT SOUP]

WEI WUXIAN: ok you win

Notes:

it has begun.
sorry if my formatting isn't perfect D:
Comment and let me know what you think of the first chapter! chapter 2 will be up real soon i hope. we will meet lan zhan :3

More Untamed fics by me
check out my tumblr!