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It was no secret that Kenny McCormick had fallen for Butters Stotch the second he saw him. How could he not? Everything about the other boy was just undeniably perfect to him. His hair, his eyes, that adorable smile. Kenny couldn’t get enough. If you had asked, anyone in their school could have told you who Kenny’s crush was. But, even so, there was just one problem. Butters didn’t know who Kenny liked. He was too innocent. Too adorable. Too…oblivious. And Kenny had gathered up the courage to put a stop to it. How did he plan to do it? Pick-up lines of course.
Lunch had just started and Kenny was gathered around his usual table with his friends. Butters would join them on occasion. and apparently today was one of those days. Butters came over to them, trying not to bump into anyone, a huge grin on his face. “Heya fellas!”, Butters greeted. His friends ignored him, not giving the preppy boy as much as a wave before stuffing their faces with food again. Kenny looked up at Butters and smiled. That smile that managed to get anyone he wanted. Anyone but Butters. “Hey Buttercup. Y’know, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together”. Butters just stared at Kenny, blinking. Cartman sniggered while Kyle and Stan tried desperately to contain their laughter. “Uh…that sure is a weird way of rearranging the alphabet”, Butters replied. Kenny mentally slapped himself. He couldn’t believe he actually expected that to work.
The bell rang, signalling the end of lunch. Butters gave Kenny a final wave. “Well…uh…bye Ken”. And with that, the other boy disappeared into the swarm of students. Fuck.
School was over now. And Kenny couldn’t wait to find Butters. They walked home together every day. So now Kenny would have an excuse to get Butters alone. There was no distractions. It would be fine. If it went as planned.
Slamming his locker shut, Kenny made his way to the exit doors to find his blonde, oblivious friend. He spotted Butters standing at their usual meeting point. Butters turned, a smile forming on his face when he saw Kenny. “Heya Ken! You ready to get goin’?”. Kenny nodded, grabbing Butters’ hand and leading him out the door.
It wasn’t a long walk back to their homes. But it sure did feel like it. The silence between them was unbearable and Kenny couldn’t take it anymore. “Hey ButterBall? Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you”, Kenny made another attempt at flirting. He locked eyes with Butters and winked. Butters looked flustered. “Gee Ken. I don’t really know what to say to that. I mean, I don’t think I’m a piece of paper”. Kenny was losing it. Why did Butters have to be so damn oblivious. Kenny sighed. He would just have to try again.
Butters had just finished his mountain of homework. Why did math have to be so hard. He studied. A lot. But he never seemed to get it right.
Butters was pulled from his thoughts by a loud buzzing noise. He looked at the illuminated screen of his phone.
Kenny: I’m no photographer but I can picture us together :)
Butters stared at his phone for a good minute or so. Why was Kenny doing this? He thought the joke was over. Kenny was only saying those things because his friends dared him to or something. That’s why they were laughing when it happened the first time. Right? Frowning slightly, Butters text back.
Butters: Kenny stop it! I thought the joke was over. Or did your friends dare you to continue this for the rest of the day?
Kenny: What? No! Butters, it’s not like that. I’m being serious. I was trying to flirt with you. In a goofy king of way. I like you Butters. But you’re so oblivious. I’m sorry if it came across like that.
Butters: I like you too Kenny. I knew you were flirting but I thought it was a dare. I’m sorry.
Kenny: Hey Buttercup? You wanna go on a date with me?
Butters: Sure Ken. I love you.
Kenny: I love you too Butters.