Chapter Text
How you came to live with eight skeletons in your fancy house is a question anyone who could get close enough to you to know that about you asks you almost as soon as they know. It had a lot to do with the one of the two skeletons who lived with you originally. It also had a lot to do with the only thing in your life you can truly say you own, which is your house.
But I suppose if we're gonna argue about it, it has most to do with the barrier at Mount Ebbot breaking about three years ago.
You had just signed over the majority of your (24 years of) life's savings on a house about an hour away from the barrier. Your parents were loaded, so you got away with not having to pay for anything real up until that point in your life. That's not to say you didn't face your fair share of problems, thought they were problems made much better with the cushion of wealth surrounding you. But as soon as the pen left that paper you were officially on your own. This meant freedom, in a town that was across the country from your parents and their wealth (and their abusive tendencies, but you try not to complain too much considering). Not thirty seconds later, your lawyer's receptionist came in screaming about monsters attacking, which changed your life forever in about a million different ways. The first being the most drastic- your house (ten days later) was officially smack dab in the middle of the very first monster town founded in your lifetime. You lived twenty minutes away from the first Monster Embassy. Your neighborhood was where a lot of important monsters wanted to live, and they ended up filling in.
You did not have a problem with this. You know what humans are like. Bigots, evil. You promised yourself you would never be like that the very first time you saw someone holding a Nazi flag down the street of your childhood home. And again when your parents met your first girlfriend. And then your first boyfriend. So you become the perfect neighbor, even if you're a neighbor working two jobs to keep up with your monthly bills. It's a big house! It's a really nice house that you got on a bit of a deal because of some sort of haunting nonsense. But you might need roommates.
Which brings you to change number two- becoming a landlord of sorts. Or at least renting out your home to people or monsters. You figured you'd get a bunch of applications because rent was ridiculously low, but in the end you got two. One from a sketchy looking dude with no job history and two references that didn't pick up, and one from a skeleton monster named Sans. Like comic Sans. Says he comes with a brother, fine. All of his references picked up and had nothing but good things to say - including the Queen of Monsters who picked up when you called the number of the AMBASSADOR OF MONSTERS who, lo and behold, lived TEN MINUTES AWAY FROM YOU. So yeah, a lot changed.
You picked the skeleton.
Sans and Papyrus are the third change, and probably the best. They're both wonderful housemates, Papyrus taking classes at the local cooking school, and Sans bringing with him a wide screen TV that came with the copious amounts of gold he had saved up.
So how did it come to pass that you live with eight skeletons?
"hey _____."
"Sans."
"can i have a basement lab?"
"Absolutely."
Of course you were stoned out of your gourd but so was he so you figured he was joking.
The next day you find he was not joking, which is fine by you, but also… concerning. One of your top three rules was 'don't burn my fucking house down', which costs you a dollar to cite! You glance at the swear jar. About halfway full to funding a weekend trip to Montreal with the brothers. You told Papyrus you'd make him poutine, but he declined, saying it had to be authentic or nothing at all.
That was about two years into living with the brothers. You'd forgotten all about Sans' lab, until the fateful night that was known afterwards (until you grew bored of saying it) as Skellageddon.
You were lying in your bed (as usual during your down time) when a crash sounded in your basement. Now, this is significant. You do not live in a room particularly close to your basement. In fact, one could say that the only room farther away from the basement than your own room, was the attic. Your house was three beautiful stories with an attic slapped down on top, and a cellar below. You live in the master master bedroom, equiped with a full bathroom. There are three other rooms on the third floor, and a shared bathroom between them. The second floor also had four bedrooms, with two bathrooms between them, and you'd had a small game room set up there. The first floor had your kitchen, a bathroom, a living room, and a large dining room.
None of this is important, but you like to brag.
Anyways, you hear a loud, loud crash in your third floor room, that very clearly came from your basement level basement.
You're down the stairs in a minute, ready to fight whatever transdimensional beastie Sans has summoned.
It turns out to be six transdimensional beasties, who are all already awkwardly looking around in the low emergency lighting in Sans' lab.
You reset the breaker wordlessly, then turn to take stock.
There are four Sans staring at you. And three Papyruses.
You close your eyes tightly and then open them again.
Ok. The Sans that you would assume is the original Sans is wearing a white lab coat over his sweatshirt and grinning sheepishly at you. The next available Sans is wearing a blue bandana, and looking around with figurative (or literal?) stars in his eyes. There is a Papyrus worriedly looking down at him, as if assessing him for any injury. This Papyrus is wearing an orange sweatshirt and definitely has a cigarette in his mouth. The next Sans is wearing a black hoodie with a fur lined hood, and definitely looks more like Sans than the Next Available Sans did. His Papyrus looks more like Papyrus than the Next Available Sans' Papyrus did, but like if Papyrus were cosplaying as an evil version of himself. The post post Next Available Sans' Sans looks like Next Available Sans if Next Available Sans was also cosplaying as an evil version of himself, whereas post post Next Available Sans Papyrus looked like he was a weird mix between Next Sans and the Next Available Sans' Papyrus.
Ok. All in all, pretty straightforward.
There's silence for all of ten seconds before your (?) Sans says something, which causes them all to break out in chaotic speech that grates into your eardrums like a zester.
"Hey. HEY!" You call out, which sort of settles down most of them. Next Sans' Papyrus looked like he was gonna start running at you, and evil cosplay of the Next Available Sans was talking to his Papyrus in hushed tones.
"HUMAN-"
"HUMAN-"
They both address you at the same time.
"I WILL GO FIRST." The Papyrus steps forward. The Sans also steps forward.
"YOU WILL NOT, PEASANT. I WILL GO FIRST."
"I AM-"
"OK! You can both talk to me! Uhm. Sans, I guess, go ahead and go first."
"I AM THE GREAT AND MALEVOLENT SANS. I AM, HUMAN, GOING TO HAVE TO CAPTURE YOU AND PROBABLY KILL YOU. BUT FIRST I WILL ALLOW YOU TO TELL ME WHERE I AM."
"I WAS GOING TO SAY THE SAME THING!" Next Sans' Papyrus interjects, fist raised angrily.
"s t o p." Your Sans startles you, appearing by your side in an instant, eyes void of their normal light.
Dang. Looks like these beasties are in for a bad time.