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It’s a testament to how well they know each other that Nico can see the sadness the second Will is awake enough to register anything.
”Okay, no”, he states as a good morning. ”You promised her. No crying today.” Will sighs and Nico’s eyes soften when he reaches to stroke his husband’s hair. ”It’s not like she’s leaving forever. She isn’t even leaving the state.”
Will sighs again. ”I know.” He turns his head enough to look at Nico, who doesn’t point out that his eyes are already watering. Ten years ago I would have called him a cry baby, Nico thinks and suddenly feels really old. ”She just grows up so fast.”
Nico can’t argue with that, so he just smiles. (And okay, maybe he feels a little sad, too. After all, Ciara is his baby.) ”I know. Let’s hope Grace and Caleb never grow up, yeah?”
”Sounds good.” Will leans in, finally smiling a little, and captures Nico’s lips in a slow, lazy kiss that drags on longer than they usually have time for anymore. ”But then again”, he mutters to the kiss, shuffling a little closer under the sheets to hover over Nico, ”there are perks in not having kids in the house. And we both know it’s been way too long since the last time we got to enjoy those perks.”
”If you’re talking about having sex on the balcony, I can assure you that the kids are not the only problem in that.”
Will huffs a small laugh and dives down for another kiss, but his lips have barely even touched Nico’s when there’s already a knock on their bedroom door.
”Dad, Papà, get up. Coffee’s ready, Grace won’t shut up and Caleb needs to wake up now or we’re going to be late.”
Letting out a sigh of defeat, Nico leans his head back and closes his eyes. When he opens them again, Will is giving him a look that clearly states that Ciara has just proven his point. ”Right.” Nico pecks Will’s lips quickly (but not any less gently) before shoving him off his body. ”Go make sure Ciara doesn’t throw her nerves at Grace. I need to use the bathroom, then I’ll go wake Cal.”
The easy routine is strangely delightful. Wake up, put some clothes on, make sure someone is helping the kids with breakfast before you take care of yourself. True, Ciara is eighteen and perfectly capable of arranging breakfast for both herself and Grace, but it just so happens that Grace has a tendency to talk her sister’s ear off about dragons and mages and spells that for some reason require potions. (Nico really doesn’t get that, and he’s not going to ask.) Sadly, Ciara didn’t inherit her patience from her mother, so either Nico or Will needs to check on them every morning to make sure Ciara doesn’t leave Grace starving.
Nico hears the girls arguing in the kitchen when he walks across the hall to Caleb’s room. No matter how tiring it sometimes is to listen to them, he knows that in a few days he will miss the constant snapping and teasing. He tries to not think about it too much when he sits on the edge of Caleb’s bed just as, judging from the sounds, Will manages to settle the crisis – for now.
”Hey, piccolo”, Nico mutters as he gently strokes Caleb’s back in order to wake him up. ”Time to get up. I bet Daddy’s making pancakes.”
When Caleb barely even opens his eyes before climbing to Nico’s lap and pressing his face against his chest, Nico can’t help but think how different all the kids are. Ciara, understandably, was very independent from a young age, claiming at four years old that she’s old enough to wake up by herself and barely letting Nico even tuck her in at night. Grace, on the other hand, was clearly Will’s girl from the very start, settling easier in her daddy’s arms than in her papà’s, seeking safety and comfort from both but always ending up with her head on Will’s shoulder. Nico never minded, not when she turned out to be like a perfect image of Will with her curls and piercing blue eyes, not when the sight of the two of them was so beautiful it made Nico’s heart hurt.
Caleb is a different story altogether. When they adopted him as barely a year old from the slums of Mexico City, he was tiny, touch starved, and scared. As soon as he felt safe with Will and Nico, he latched on both of them, spending more time in their arms than on his own two feet, holding on as tight as he could with his little hands. It had broken Nico’s heart at first, and even more so when they had to slowly teach Caleb to sleep on his own and manage a while without either of his dads in the same room. But, in the end, they got through it, and Nico doesn’t think that indulging in Caleb’s sleepy morning nuzzles is too bad.
”Did you sleep well?” Nico asks lowly and presses a kiss to Caleb’s soft brown hair, feeling him nod to his shirt. ”Do you remember what day it is? Why we need to get up so early and get going?”
Nico isn’t alarmed when it takes Caleb a long while to answer; the kid is probably still more asleep than he is awake. In the kitchen, Will says something that makes both of the girls laugh, and it makes Nico smile against Caleb’s hair.
”Ciara goes? Today?” Caleb’s voice is so soft Nico almost misses it. There’s a hint of sadness stitched to the sleepy way the words come out, not as a complete sentence or even a proper question. If it weren’t for Caleb’s sleepy state, Nico knows he would have to correct him. Now, though, he lets it slide.
”That’s right, piccolo. Ciara goes to college today. Remember how we talked about how she’s moving to the dorms, but she’ll be home soon.” Nico believes that it’s supposed to make it all easier; that Ciara is only a few hours away, that he’s still going to see her for two weekends each month, that she’s always at a driving distance. Frankly, Nico isn’t sure anything could make it easier, not really. ”And when she comes to visit, I’m sure she’ll have tons of new stories to tell you.”
Caleb nods again, and Nico holds him a little tighter when he gets up, carrying the small child to the kitchen. As he predicted, Will is finishing up with the pancake mix with Ciara waiting by the stove, a spatula in one hand and her phone in the other. Grace has her nose buried in a book she’s borrowed from Tom, a thick novel with a light blue dragon on the cover, and she barely looks up when Nico leans in to press a kiss to her head.
”Good morning, Gracie”, he says, gently poking at her cheek with one finger to get a response. ”Did you sleep last night or did you spend all night reading again?”
”I slept”, is what Grace says. Her bloodshot eyes and the frantic way she holds the book tell a different story.
Will finishes mixing the batter and pushes the bowl toward Ciara on the counter. ”You’re going to need to get used to the early school mornings again soon. No more late night reads or we’ll have to confiscate your books.”
”Trust me, they’ll do it”, Ciara says without looking up from her phone while Grace looks at Will as if his betrayal hurts her physically. ”I haven’t seen my paperback copy of Lord of the Flies since I was eleven.”
”It’s in the bookshelf, sunshine”, Nico rolls his eyes an leans in to kiss Ciara’s cheek, Caleb still dozing off against his shoulder. ”Right next to Dad’s hardback copy. Don’t try to scare your sister.” Ciara merely grins, not noticing the glare Grace sends her way. ”Has Isla texted you about their timetable? I haven’t gotten anything from Annabeth yet.”
Ciara may deny it if given a chance, but she blushes a little when she finally pockets her phone and shifts her attention to their breakfast. ”Yeah, she said they’re going to have lunch with her grandmother before driving to the campus, so you guys will probably already be gone by the time she arrives. I’ll see her later.”
Will shares a look with Nico when he comes to take Caleb from him. They’ve both noticed this more and more lately; how Ciara talks about Isla with stars in her eyes and how she always dodges any questions that could suggest they’re anything other than friends. Nico has told Will not to push it, that she’ll tell them if and when she feels it’s necessary, but Nico is starting to get a little too curious, himself. When Ciara starts making the pancakes, Nico turns to take plates from the cupboard and resigns to think how nice it is that Ciara will have her best friend with her in college.
For a short moment, it’s all calm. Ciara focuses on the pancakes and Grace on her book, and Will sets Caled down on the counter to help him rub the sleep off his eyes. Nico opens the radio and turns the volume down to background noise, then finishes making the table and getting out breakfast supplies.
”Alright, books and people off the table”, he announces when Ciara sets the first stack of pancakes next to the orange juice. Will helps Caleb down, and Caleb climbs to his own chair only barely more awake than ten minutes ago. ”Will, can you do Grace’s hair while she eats, save us a little time?”
It’s the routine, again. Sometimes it startles Nico how their life as a family has grown into this well oiled machine. Each person has brought their own quirks and complications to the equation, and Nico remembers all pains and tears better than he’d like to admit. But still they got here, from Nico and Ciara to Will and to Grace and finally to Caleb, and Nico wouldn’t change a thing.
Well, maybe one thing. Because sometimes Ciara looks identical to the Bianca Nico remembers, from her small frame to her long hair to the twist of her smile, and it hurts because he would give almost anything so that Bianca could see her now, see how beautiful and smart and wonderful Ciara has grown to be. But then, Nico thinks, if having let go of Bianca means he got to raise Ciara as his own, and meet Will and build a family with him, then maybe it’s okay. Maybe nothing really has to change.
Nico takes over the cooking from Ciara, letting her sit down and have breakfast in peace before they start their inevitably stressful few hours of packing everyone in the car and driving to the campus. Forced to put her book aside, Grace tries to engage Ciara into a conversation about someone called Saphira that Nico vaguely recalls as being a dragon. Nico counts the seconds until his calm morning is disturbed again, but to his surprise Ciara doesn’t really seem to mind Grace’s ramblings for once. Nico wonders if it has something to do with the fact that she’s moving away and won’t hear these monologues every day anymore.
As soon as Will finishes plaiting Grace’s hair (he’s become a somewhat expert at that, Nico is almost jealous) he walks up to Nico and hugs him from behind. Nico smiles indulgently and feeds Will a piece of a pancake over his shoulder. Will’s stubble scratches Nico’s skin as he chews, and his fingers are cold when he sneaks them under the hem of Nico’s shirt.
”Dad, please, keep it safe for kids in the kitchen, okay?”
Nico almost chuckles when he hears this. Something like this happens multiple times a week, always with Ciara present. And they’re barely even doing anything, now; Nico wonders how much PDA they will be able to slip in once Ciara isn’t around anymore. The thought is a little bittersweet, but Nico can’t deny that being able to hug and kiss his husband without a complaining teenager will be a nice change.
”Will, honey”, Nico says, overly sweet just to piss Ciara off, and rests a hand over Will’s where it hasn’t moved from his lower stomach, ”when was the last time we had a real date?”
Will is immediately on board, ignoring the way Ciara manages to get Grace to join her in trying to make them stop. Instead he holds Nico just a little tighter and kisses his shoulder – over the shirt, maybe, but that’s not the point. ”I can’t remember, which means it’s definitely been too long.” Nico grins, flips a pancake, then turns in Will’s embrace to throw his arms over Wills shoulders. ”And now we’re losing our free baby sitter for college.”
”You’ll lose her forever if you don’t stop!”
Nico knows his kids. Ciara is all bark no bite, and even without looking Nico knows her lips are twitching as she fights off a smile. She’s never had any real complaints about her parents being affectionate; not when they first started dating, not any time since. It was only when Grace became old enough to understand these things that the complaints started. Nico is pretty sure it’s all to torment himself and Will.
That being said, Nico merely leans in so that his lips almost touch Will’s, grinning mischievously as he shares a knowing look with Will. They won’t be able to keep the facade up for long, so they might as well go all out devious.
It’s Will who nuzzles Nico’s nose with his own and whispers, just loud enough for Nico and Ciara to hear, ”We could always kick them out.”
”Hmm.” Nico steals a quick glance to see Ciara’s reaction. She has half turned her back at them, but Nico can see hew shoulders shaking in silent laughter. ”Tempting. Oh, I have an even better idea.” He buries his hands in Will’s hair, the way he’s always loved, and has to bite back a sigh because somehow it’s still just as soft as it was in the dirty coffee shop bath room so many years ago. ”We can always drive Gracie and Cal to the campus and Ciara can still look after them, and we get to have a date night out of town. What a treat.”
Will is biting his lip to stop himself from laughing, and Ciara isn’t having any of it. ”I take it back! Please kiss and hug and be disgusting all you want, just don’t show up in my dorm room expecting babysitting!”
Grace may be excited about the idea of spending a night at a real college dorm room (which Nico internally swears will not happen until she’s in college, herself), and Ciara is trying her best to explain to her why it would not be a good idea. Nico side eyes Caleb and sees him watching his sisters with wide eyes, maple syrup all over his face. Poor thing probably doesn’t even know what everyone else is talking about.
Toeing the PDA line one last time, Nico kives Will a quick kiss before turning back to the pancakes, hoping he didn’t let them burn while messing around. ”Go shave, Will. I’ll make sure the kids leave you a pancake or two.”
With Will gone from the kitchen, the noise settles down to Grace and Ciara’s back and forth that has now turned into reasoning why they can not move to an apartment, just the two of them. Nico finishes the last pancake, turns off the stove and wipes the counter clean before holding out a rag for Caleb to get the syrup off his face. In the end he only manages to spread the food up to his eye brows, but Nico thinks it’s important that he gives Caleb at least a chance. How else will he ever learn?
”Ciara, when you’re done eating, go check that you have everything packed and then bring your bags to the hall. Dad’s going to work his magic in loading the car.” Nico knows he’d never manage it himself; two adults and three kids is a lot for a typical Focus, but with two luggage and a duffel bag and a cello, too, added to the stuff that’s already in the car from trips to the beach and Will’s soccer practice and weekends with the Graces up in the mountains? It’s best to leave it to Will and his mad Tetris skills.
Finishing up with her coffee, Ciara rolls her eyes and gets up with a huff. ”It almost sounds like you want me gone, you know.”
Nico knows she doesn’t mean it, that she doesn’t actually think like that. But he still catches her arm when she walks past and tugs on it until she looks at him. ”You know we don’t want you gone, sunshine”, he says, his voice soft and a little sad. ”We’re just happy for you. You know that, right?”
Ciara smiles at him, and she looks just like Bianca. Nico might break the no tears policy himself, and it isn’t yet nine in the morning. ”I know, Papà. You keep telling me.” They share another smile, Nico’s coming out a little wistful, and then Ciara gently frees herself from him. ”I’m going to go pack my laptop and bathroom stuff. Oh, and you might want to help Cal with that.”
Because of course Caleb has managed to pull the syrup bottle closer and is in the middle of pouring all of it’s contents on his plate. Nico is about ready to pull all of his hair out of his head when Will re-enters the kitchen and comes to his aid.
”Cal, sweetie, I think that’s more than enough”, Will says, sternly but always with enough love to not make Caleb think he’s mad. He takes the napkin Nico is holding in a too tight grip. ”I’ve got this, Nico. Go get changed. And you, mister”, Will continues and pulls Caleb further away from the table, ”are getting the world’s quickest shower.”
Luckily, that’s the only real crisis that morning, and it’s really not even that uncommon for Caleb to make a huge mess during meals. Will likes to say that he’s experimenting, and that he might very well become a scientist, but Nico is pretty sure Caleb is just doing what every five year old does.
When Ciara’s bags are in the car and Grace is sitting in the back seat with her book and Will has softened enough to let Caleb wear mismatched shoes for the day, Nico is pretty pleased to notice that it’s ten-fifteen and that they’re only a little behind of their schedule. This might be a new record. He checks his phone, wondering if he should call the record store and make sure they’re all set there, but it seems like Hazel has beat him to it.
From: soul sister: [09:43] Hey, since I know you’re going to ask, we’re going to be okay. You haven’t taken a day off in a month. We’ve got this.
From: soul sister: [09:44] Give Ciara a hug from Frank and me. We’re proud of her!
Nico smiles. Hazel has been a real life saver, ever since they crossed paths six years ago. She had burst into the store one afternoon, bright eyes and barely off age, fresh off the plane after a year spent in Australia on a working holiday. They had gotten into talking, and later, when Nico had looked at the clock and realized it was almost an hour past closing time, exchanged numbers and agreed to have lunch soon. In many ways, Hazel had turned out to be exactly like Nico; their taste in music is identical, as is their sense of humor, and while their list of favorite books and movies had their divergences at first, all that did was give them new books to read and movies to see.
All in all, it didn’t take long for Hazel to become one of Nico’s closest friends. A year into their friendship, she had also started working in the store, Will simply adored her, and once the paperwork in their adopting Caleb had been finalized, it had been both Will and Nico’s for her to become the godmother. Jason sometimes jokes that in another life, maybe Nico and Hazel were brother and sister, with how close they so quickly became. Nico, while not usually one to believe in that sort of thing, happily agrees.
”Hazel sends a hug”, Nico says when he finds Ciara in the hallway. Ciara spares him a quick look, then turns her gaze back to the pictures on the wall. There are so many more now than there used to be; wedding pictures, family portraits, candids on Sunday brunches. Nico gives a quick glance to the newest addition, Ciara’s high school graduation photo, then goes to see what Ciara is looking at.
It doesn’t make Nico half as sad anymore, looking at the picture of his parents and Bianca. It took years of healing and hours upon hours of talking with Will and Jason and eventually Ciara, too, but when he looks at the picture now, he only feels a little sad. Mostly, though, he remembers all the good things, the moments he got to share with Bianca before her death, and he likes to keep it that way. He’s pretty sure he’s had enough years of mourning and feeling sorry – enough sadness for one lifetime, too.
Nico places an arm on Ciara’s shoulders and pulls her closer, feels her rest her head on his shoulder like she still sometimes does when they’re sitting on the couch, rewatching Bones from Netflix together.
”She would be so proud of you”, he whispers to her hair, not to make her sad, but to reassure her that it’s okay to wonder what it would be like if her mother had lived. ”Just like I am. Just like Will is. So, so proud.”
Nico likes to think that Ciara knows all this, already. He’s sure to constantly remind her, to remind all his kids, how much they mean to him. It’s Will rubbing off on him, he knows it, and it’s incredibly sappy, but he doesn’t bare to think that Ciara or Grace or Caleb would go even a moment not knowing how much he loves them.
Nico didn’t have time for college when he was Ciara’s age, suddenly becoming a single dad and all that. He did okay without a degree, he knows it, but he was lucky. He knows that after getting a degree Ciara will have so much better opportunities and possibilities than he ever did, and he wants to give her the world. After all they have been through, she more than deserves it. Nico is so incredibly proud of what Ciara has accomplished so far, graduating high school while doing her thing with the cello and snatching a scholarship while at it, and he just knows she will go far. And he can’t wait to see it.
”I hope so”, is what Ciara says, adding a little sigh. Nico remembers when she was eleven and had that phase where she constantly wanted to hear new storied about Bianca, how she would say she wanted to be just like her, and how that would almost make Nico cry. She hasn’t asked for more stories for quite some time, but she does bring her up from time to time, and Nico knows it’s Bianca’s picture Ciara keeps in the tiny locket she has on a golden chain.
In a way, she is just like Bianca, in the best of ways. She’s strong and kind, fierce and loving and intelligent, and of course she looks exactly like her. But Nico has learned to see the things that are definitely not Bianca, like the way she’s so musical, and her distaste of red meat, all the things that make her so uniquely Ciara. Sometimes Nico tells her this, and she rolls her eyes and tells him to stop being sappy. Maybe Nico does need to stop, or at least tone it down a little. Maybe he’s just getting old.
Nico squeezes Ciara’s shoulder one more time before slowly pushing her towards the door. ”Come on, I bet Cal’s already getting restless. We might have to stop for lunch on our way.”
It’s going to hurt, driving to the campus and leaving Ciara there. Nico knows this. He’s also had time to prepare for this, has known it’s coming for quite some time. He takes a deep breath while locking the door, and promises himself he won’t cry until they’re already on their way back. Then he straightens his back and follows Ciara to the elevator with a smile on his face.