Chapter Text
Chapter 20
Alec had official been in the hospital for a full week now, one of the longest and hardest weeks of Magnus’s entire life. And now that his boyfriend was awake and in the recovery stage from his surgery, both Cat and Rag had made it clear to him that is was time to start focusing on school again.
But no matter how hard Magnus tried to focus on the lecture happening in his morning science class, he was failing. Magnus had gone yesterday evening to visit Alec and he couldn’t help but feel like there was something a little off about it.
Nothing major had happened but Magnus could have sworn something was off. They had watched a movie on Alec’s laptop and then talked until the night nurse had made him leave so she could get Alec into the bathroom to wash up for the night.
When Magnus kissed Alec goodbye and turned to leave, he couldn’t help but notice Alec breathing out a sort of sigh of relief. And now it was all he could think about, so much so that he raised his hand and asked his teacher if he could go to the nurse.
Somehow, Magnus had convinced the nurse strongly enough that he needed to go home for the rest of the day. Luckily, because he was a senior he was able to just drive himself home without a parent or guardian being notified. So as soon as he pulled out of the school parking lot he made a right turn and headed to the hospital immediately.
He couldn’t help the small thought come into his head of how disappointed Cat and Rag would be if they found out he had left school again, but his need to see if Alec was okay was so strong that he couldn’t help himself.
Magnus skipped his way up to the 10th floor as quickly as he could. He waved hello to the nurse’s station as he passed, he was pretty sure that most of them had learned his name by now. But stopped short at the door to Alec’s room when his handsome boyfriend wasn’t anywhere to be found.
“Um… where is Alec?” Magnus asked back at the station trying his best not to worry.
One of the nurses immediately looked up from her computer, “Oh, he’s just gone for a walk with the physical therapist. He’s been working with him most of the morning. You might find him somewhere in the hallways, I’m sure they didn’t get too far,” she replied.
Magnus nodded and rushed off to find him. He was a little panicked when he first saw him, he hadn’t realized Alec had progressed enough to be walking around this much yet.
He found them not too far from the unit. Alec was holding himself up using some crazy looking walking contraption. It had handles to hold on to and a seat behind him. His tubes and lines were still poking out from everywhere and Lilly was holding his IV lines steady with her hand on one side, as the PT guided Alec on the other side.
“Just a couple more steps, Alec. You’re almost there,” the man said, that Magnus assumed was the PT coached encouragingly.
Alec was so focused that it took him a moment to even realize Magnus was standing in front of them. He went to lift his hands up to sign something to him but was quickly redirected by his team. “Nope… try and stay focused Alec. We need to make it back to your room.” Lilly said sternly.
Alec gave him a little smile before focusing back on the task of taking the small slow steps he was making. As the three of them kept on walking, he couldn’t help but feel like he was interrupting a bit. Maybe he shouldn’t have just barged in, maybe he should have texted first. It seemed like such a production as they tried to get him moving again towards his room.
After a few moments of watching Alec struggle to make it a few feet down the hall, he excused himself to go wait for him in his room. It took a while for Alec to make it back to the bed and another few minutes for Lilly to settle him.
Magnus was worried at the expression on Alec’s face, it seemed to be one of complete exhaustion. His eyes were tensely closed as his chest heaved up and down quickly. Magnus was sure he could trace the lines in his face.
Once Lilly left the room, Magnus scooted his chair over and angled it towards Alec. “Darling, you were amazing out there. You didn’t tell me you were walking yet,” he said before leaning forward to give Alec a kiss hello.
His boyfriend lifted his hands slowly to respond, it was my first time, yesterday we just did exercises in a chair. What happened to school today?
Magnus smiled and reached over to brush his fingers along Alec’s arm. “I just couldn’t help myself love… I hated knowing you were here all by yourself today.”
I would have been okay, I don’t want to get on Cat’s bad side by keeping you from school, Alec signed sluggishly.
“Pssh… never darling. Anyway, I went through the nurse’s office so I don’t think they’ll ever find out. But don’t you worry your pretty head about it. How did you sleep?”
Pretty good… definitely wish I was in my own bed but hopefully I’ll get strong enough to go home soon, he replied.
Magnus was always amazed at how optimistic Alec remained. He was sure that if he was in Alec’s place he’d be a wreck. His boyfriend’s strength was honestly something to be admired.
“So… what should we do today, Alexander? We have almost five hours together all to ourselves before Jace and Izzy come after school,” Magnus said playfully.
Cards, maybe? Alec replied.
~~~~~~~~~~
Magnus was loving spending so much one on one time with Alec today. Since he had woken up, his family was always by his side. Sometimes Magnus just wished he could have some more alone time with him. He knew he was being selfish but he couldn’t help the thoughts from coming to his head.
About an hour into playing cards and listening to music, Magnus could tell Alec was starting to fade. His eyes fluttered as they began to get heavier. “Darling, why don’t you close your eyes for a while?” He asked warmly.
No, no. I’m fine. He lied unconvincingly. I want to spend time with you.
Magnus didn’t believe that he wasn’t tired but he knew he’d likely just fall asleep soon so he kept playing. It didn’t take long before his love was snoring lightly in the bed. Magnus stood and tucked the blanket high up onto his chest to keep him warm while he napped. He smiled down at Alec hoping he would get a good rest in so they could spend more time together this afternoon.
Alec woke about an hour later. Magnus giggled when he kept apologizing for falling asleep on him. They were about to start a movie when Alec interrupted them.
Mags, can you hit the nurse button for me? He signed.
“Of course, darling. Is everything okay?” he worried as he hit the button as quickly as he could.
Yeah, just need to head into the bathroom. Alec explained with a small blush forming on his cheeks.
Before Magnus could even tell him he was being silly for getting embarrassed, Lilly popped in to see what he needed. He was happy he could be there to translate when Alec signed that he need help to the bathroom
Lilly smiled, “Of course,” she nodded as she turned to Alec to sort out all his tubes and IVs. “Magnus, we’ll probably need like a half-hour anyway so I can do a few things with Alec once we’re back to bed. Mind heading to the waiting room?”
“Absolutely,” he nodded. “Darling, I’ll go and grab some lunch. I’ll be back soon.”
Magnus didn’t want to leave, but he could tell that Lilly needed some time with him. She had been so amazing this whole week and Magnus kind of felt like they were a team when it came to Alec. She immediately started to get to work so Magnus decided to just slip out, although he hated leaving Alec’s side without a kiss.
He made his way downstairs and grabbed a sandwich to munch on. As he sat down at a table he took out his phone and saw a bunch of texts from Raphael. He had totally forgotten to message him to let him know he was ditching. He quickly sent a message back to explain to his friend so that he wouldn’t worry anymore.
Sitting in the familiar setting of the hospital cafeteria by himself, really made Magnus reflect on the week. He felt as if he had grown up within seconds. He knew that this would likely be a common location in his life for a while as Alec received his treatment.
Everything was always so overwhelming to him. He couldn’t even take watching Alec walk with PT this morning, he had to go run away and hide. He definitely felt out of his league at times, but he was doing his best to be with Alec through it all.
He didn’t want to return too early so he walked around the hospital grounds for a bit after lunch before coming back so he could give Alec and Lilly the time that she needed. Luckily, as soon as Magnus made it back to Alec’s room she was coming out. “Sorry Magnus, I just went in to do one more thing for my assessment but he was sleeping already. Do you want to stay or come back later?”
“No, no I’ll just go and sit with him quietly. Thanks Lilly, for everything,” Magnus smiled as he headed into the room.
Alec was positioned on his side with pillows helping to support his neck so it wasn’t twisted and remained straight. Magnus noticed that Lilly had hooked Alec up to his tube feeds, he watched as the tan liquid disappeared into the tube in his boyfriend’s nose. It looked so horrible, Magnus couldn’t believe Alec was able to sleep through it but glad at the same time, hoping it would give him the strength he needed to get better.
Magnus found something to watch on the TV as he slept. He made sure the volume was low enough that he wouldn’t wake Alec up. After some time, Alec’s phone kept bleeping off with text messages. There were so many that Magnus was worried that something was wrong so he picked it up to look at them.
He saw that it was from Lydia and knew he should probably leave it for Alec but couldn’t help but read it when another message popped up.
Lydia: So it sounds like today’s a shit day. I would embrace it and not try and pretend that it’s not. I’m sure Magnus would be okay if you told him the truth.
Lydia: I’m going to be there by noontime tomorrow and we’ll have a wallowing day. And I have no problem with telling everyone else to fuck off so it’ll just be the two of us.
Magnus hadn’t realized he had stopped breathing as he was reading these texts but he felt that intense need for air building up. What had been happening with Alec that he wasn’t telling him. It seemed like they were having a great day together. He sat for what seemed like forever but was probably only fifteen minutes going over the day in his head.
Nothing was sticking out to him, so maybe the conversation was referring to something else entirely. He put the phone down and tried his best to let it go.
But as the minutes continued as he sat watching his boyfriend sleep the anxiety continued to creep up. He had a pit in his stomach that he could not shake. He didn’t exactly know what caused him to snap but he stood up and swiftly placed Alec’s thumb to the home button to unlock his phone.
He felt the nausea come on as his body revolted against the wrongness of his actions but he just couldn’t make his brain stop. He quickly scrolled up to gain the context of the conversation.
Lydia: Hey, how’s the day been, any better than yesterday?
Alec: Lyds… I need you so bad right now. I didn’t sleep much, I kept waking up every hour. Everything hurts, I just don’t know how long I can keep doing this. The whole day has been about moving and strengthening and I feel like my body is breaking down.
Alec: Walking was so painful, it felt as if I was dragging 100lbs with me down the hall. And then Magnus surprised me this morning and wanted to spend the day together. I tried my best to put on a good front for him but all I want to do is sleep.
Alec: Fuck, I couldn’t even wipe my own ass today. I had to hit the alarm button for Lilly to come back in. Fucking mortifying. I just want this to be over.
Alec: I feel so defeated.
Magnus was crying as he read the messages between friends. He was upset for a multitude of reasons. Firstly, he hated how much the man he loved was struggling, and secondly that he wanted to hide it from him. Magnus suddenly felt like such an idiot for coming to the hospital today.
And to top it all off, Alec clearly didn’t consider Magnus to be his confidante. When he had asked Alec how he had slept earlier he said everything was fine. When did they start lying to each other? Didn’t Magnus make it clear enough in the beginning that they were in this together? Magnus also couldn’t understand why he was suddenly angry with Lydia as well.
He was crying so hard that he had to go into the bathroom for tissue to dry his eyes. He threw Alec’s phone back on the bed and instantly felt the disgust in what he had done. He should never have read those messages. He was in the wrong, now he was privy to sensitive information that Alec wasn’t ready to share with him.
It was Magnus’s fault that Alec felt he couldn’t tell him everything, he clearly wasn’t being as supportive as he meant to be through all of this.
Although he was trying his best, he couldn’t really get a handle on his tears and he definitely wasn’t ready to explain the situation to Alec so he felt it was best to leave. He collected his stuff and moved towards the door. But as he began to open it, he heard the familiar snap of Alec’s fingers. His boyfriend was awake.