the prayer of going nowhere; going nowhere.
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the prayer of going nowhere; going nowhere by irregularsatanist (slavishtrust)
Fandoms: Henry Danger (TV), Danger Force (TV)
17 Feb 2024
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Summary
Sometimes Henry felt like he was saving him, and sometimes Henry felt like Ray was holding his head underwater to see how long he could last. Like he had his hand wrapped around Henry’s throat and he squeezed enough to make him lightheaded, but never enough to hurt.
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Henry returns from Dystopia.
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somewhere in between forever, or never by irregularsatanist (slavishtrust)
Fandoms: Henry Danger (TV)
05 Aug 2024
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Summary
Henry feels like he’s somewhere in between forever and never, numb and thoughtless.
His hair is wet and he’s shirtless, and he doesn’t remember showering, but he doesn’t question it. He lets the comb run through his hair, tenderly pulling out knots and borderline mats, gentle hands rubbing at his neck and scalp. He sits back into the crook of Ray’s legs, leaning against strong thighs covered by a thick, cotton material. Ray’s telling him a story, something to do with the kids, something about highschool and really, Henry’s not listening.
Ray finally finishes detangling and puts the comb down, taking out a brush and running it through Henry’s hair. It feels good against his scalp and he can’t remember the last time he brushed his hair.
“Isn’t that better, kid?” Something is.
Something’s weird, he realizes, starkly, this bolt of such a strong uncomfortable feeling that it washes away everything else in the moment.
And just as quickly as he feels it, it drifts away, and he’s back to this strange, thoughtless drifting.
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“When I was younger, I wanted to live in the Dolomites. I don’t know– I just think, well. Anything that wasn’t Swellview was comforting. And a place like that, where you can stare at something bigger than you, share that experience with the people around you. It just appealed to me, I guess. There’s something about the way people collected there, in groups of houses. I wanted to be able to hear the crickets at night, stupid stuff like that. It’s– it’s unrealistic, in retrospect, but I was fourteen, and. You know. Just… stupidly optimistic. Childish.”
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Summary
Henry can feel the claws constrict his ribs. They’re trying to crack them open, so they can reach his soft interior, so they can take his heart and squeeze it for all it’s got, to shake it around, maul it, only to kindly place it back inside his chest, to sew up the edges with torn string.
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Henry knows what he's doing is wrong, but he does it anyway.
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Summary
Maybe life would’ve been better if Henry had never met Ray, but it feels impossible. It’s like there’s a compass embedded into his heart, and no matter what he does, no matter what he says, it spins wildly until it can find its target. His heart beats and his head sways until it lands home, he feels sick to his stomach until he can lay eyes on him again, until it knows that pillar remains, like a building seconds away from collapsing, held up by the finally remaining steel beam. And if he ever does collapse, it will be catastrophic, it will be terrible, it will ruin his life. As if no matter what he does, his life will always depend on Ray. A compass will never falter. His brain will never change.
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