Q!!!! Q!!!!! Q!!!!! This is so unbelieveably PERFECT! I love everything about this fic! I love how soft Constantine is for Dick, how Dick is just a imploding mess of a human, the hint at my OT3 (*squeals loudly*) and the inclusion of all those traumatic events!!! Just everything about this is beautifully done and the cadence is poetic and wonderful. Your talent is always a delight to behold, and I am so so honored to recieve this fic as a gift!!! <3
Now, for my fave parts:
"Wait. He doesn't even have his apartment anymore. It's gone. They burned it down. All of his belongings, everything he owned, every shred of his life went up in flames. He doesn't have a home anymore. Doesn't have any of the things he'd kept from the circus. Doesn't have any of the photos of himself and his parents, or the original Flying Graysons poster, or the bag Donna left at his place that she promised to come pick up and then died, or the—
He has nothing. He has no one. How can he face anyone after what he did, after what he let her do? After she—after she—"
Beautiful, really shows all the trauma and I love how he's denying the event.
""Come on," Constantine says gently after a little while of letting Dick exist in the silence. "Why don't you let me take you back to the House of Mysteries? Can't promise it won't talk back to ya but there's a working shower and about a thousand comfy beds to choose from. Plus Zee is there and I'm sure she'd love to see you again."
He accompanies his words with a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows, and it draws a laugh out of Dick, even as a tear slides down his cheek.
"You two are the worst," Dick says thickly, wiping his eyes.
Constantine smirks. "What can I say? You left an impression."
Dick laughs again despite himself. He knows what Constantine's referring to, of course. Last year the three of them ended up working a case together, and a victory celebration afterwards turned into something more. He had a really good time with them; they'd been good to him, all bright passion and killer skill. And though the idea of letting anyone touch him right now makes ants run under his skin—
Quiet, mi amor. Callado...
—the idea of being around Zee and John sounds really...nice."
I am so SOFT AND WEAK FOR THIS I LOVE IT SO MUCH.
"Does he deserve that, though? After what he's done? After all the chaos and pain and strife? He just wants to keep drinking until he can't remember his own name, until he can't remember the sound Rolland Desmond made as he hit the ground, until he can't remember what Catalina felt like when she—when she—
But he wants it so badly, all of a sudden. He wants to let Constantine take him back to that ridiculous, magic house of his. He wants to let two of the most powerful people in the world tell him that it's not his fault, that he isn't bad, that he isn't a disease that infects everyone he gets close to. That he isn't poison.
But he's...
"I think that's a bad idea," Dick mutters, looking down at his empty glass.
"Oh?" Constantine asks. "And why's that?"
Dick doesn't know how to convey the truth to him. That right now he doubts his right to breathe, let alone be treated with care. That Constantine really should just leave him here and move on with his life, that everyone should move on with their lives, that he doesn't deserve kindness, that if Constantine knew what Dick had done—"
Break my heart why don't you, when you do it so beautifully. Holy fuck I love this.
"He's safe with Constantine. John has his back.
He hadn't even realized how desperately he's been wanting someone to have his back until just now, and it brings tears to his eyes, a shuddering breath going out of him.
Constantine gets them in a cab. He moves to give Dick room, but Dick doesn't want to let go of the safety he feels, staying against Constantine's side as they settle in for the ride.
"You alright there?" Constantine asks, voice a low murmur.
"She raped me," Dick says. She did that. That's what happened. They didn't have sex. He said no. He trusted her and she did it anyway."
I love how Dick acknowledges this!! And the fact that Constantine saved him from going back to Catalina is just so amazing and heartwarming even as this whole fic rips my heart out and feeds it to Hannibal Lector, it gets some nice seasoning and warmth, and that's really what matters here.
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RUNNFROMTHEAK Sun 20 Sep 2020 03:41PM UTC
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