Chapter Text
Upon receiving the message from Inosuke, the first one to respond is Zenitsu with a full blown laughing kaomoji.
Monitsu:(*´艸`*)(*´艸`*)(*´艸`*)(~￣³￣)~ serve you right, boar!
Tanjiro was the second to respond, scolding Zenitsu for his rudeness.
Kentaro:Zenitsu, its not nice to say that. How long will they confiscate your things, Inosuke? (‘◉⌓◉’)
Monitsu:its his damn fault! My stomach still hurts from that stupid pig assault!
Inosuke:how the hell should I know, Tontaro! Fuck you, Monitsu!
Kezuko:(●__●)
Monitsu:NEZUKO-CHANNNN!!!(´ε｀ )
The boy was panicking while texting his group of friends, his parents may come in any minute and snatch his phone. Just when he's about to ask Tanjiro or Zenitsu to do him a favor, Aoi reply back his message with a rather long text.
Aoi:Huh!? Your parents are taking away your stuffs? Inosuke, you! This is all because you keep giving them trouble that they need to do this, idiot! Next time you better repent for your actions and stop causing headache for everyone! Start apologizing to your mom and dad: especially your dad. And try to be normal at school or I swear, Inosuke, I won't give you any more of my homemade bento.
Inosuke:AOI!! GOOD TIMING, WOMAN! I'M GOING TO HIDE MY PHONE IN YOUR HOUSE!
Inosuke didn't read any of her text but instead was glad she is online and will know his next move immediately. He was sitting at the windowsill getting ready to jump down from the second floor when another text from his girlfriend popped in.
Aoi:No way!!! ಠಗಠ I'll tell your mom about this!
Inosuke:WHAT KIND OF GIRLFRIEND ARE YOU NOT HELPING THE GREAT BOAR KING! TRAITOR!!
Aoi:The kind of normal girlfriend, mind you! And don't call me traitor!
They were texting for a good couple of ten minutes with Aoi and Inosuke battering non-stop that he forgot to run away to Aoi's house to pass his phone at her. By the time that Inosuke told Tanjiro he's going to the red head's house instead of Aoi--because she refuse to whatsoever cooperate with Inosuke's plan--his mom is knocking on the door gently; asking to come in.
"Inosuke, mommy is coming in."
The boar boy immediately panic and hid his phone under his mattress in attempt to save it unlike the rest of his things that probably has already being putted away by yours truly, daddy Douma. "Mom don't come in! M-my room is a mess!"
Damn, he stutter. Inosuke rarely stutter unless he's obviously lying; in which case his mom already know that. Kotoha slowly twist the doorknob to reveal herself holding a coke flavor lollipop.
Inosuke nervously sit on top of his bed, the frame creak slightly as he hope his phone doesn't crack from his body pressure. The blue hair woman giggle when she caught Inosuke lying to her about his room condition. 'He really is bad at lying'. She decide to sit beside her son, pulling his head gently so that he can rest his head on top of her shoulder. The boar boy didn't say anything but he did noticed the lollipop sitting on his mom's palm.
He try to take it away from her hand but was swatted quickly by Kotoha. "Ah uh! No candy for baby unless he give mommy his phone." Inosuke grunt loudly but he won't give up his phone for a single candy. Nu uh he won't--won't he? Inosuke start to doubt himself when Kotoha was dangling the candy in front of his face. He was an easy fish to catch and his parents know how to manipulate him just right.
"Mommyyyyy!!" The boar boy exasperated as he duck his face on his mom's belly, his hands wrapped around her waist and his legs are stomping the bed repeatedly.
Kotoha chuckle, combing her son's silky black-blue hair while the other is still holding onto the lollipop. It might look silly in the eyes of normal people--especially teenager, since, c'mon, no one can be persuaded to give up their belongings just to get a single candy. But not Inosuke, Inosuke mind is akin to a small child around age 4 to 5 when it comes to matter like this.
His whining goes on for quite a while, Inosuke eventually was getting sleepy from being comfy in his mother's warmth.
Douma peak his head inside the room, mouthing something to Kotoha before entering. He sit on Inosuke's study chair while watching his son clinging on his mother like his life depended on it.
Inosuke hasn't realize his father's presence so he continue on his action. After all, he never show his clingy attitude in front of his father.
His drowsiness doesn't help it when Douma quietly kneel in front of him and start to stroke his bare back soothingly but Inosuke still haven't realize yet who's the owner of the hand.
"Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder where is the phone? Up above the world so high, like a boar baby in the sky. Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder where is the phone?" Kotoha ask in a lullaby version, her soft and warm voice makes it hard for Inosuke to fight back.
The boar boy puff his cheeks, mumbling incoherent words and slowly closing his eyes. Douma look up to his wife, smiling while his arm is stretching under the mattress to find the phone as soon as Inosuke let out a snore.
He popped out the phone with a beaming face, almost comically. Waving the phone around without making a single sound that could potentially wake up Inosuke. Kotoha gasp in excitement, she clap her hands together; clearly amused with his skill of finding hidden things. "Uwah! How did you find it, dear?" Douma only wink in response while getting up from his position.
"I think its time for us to leave, no?"
"Oh! You're right. I don't want to accidentally wakes Inosuke up." She concede, slowly getting Inosuke off her with the help of Douma and tuck him to bed with a good night kiss before trailing off to where her husband is.
"I heard it." Douma confess.
"Hm?"
"Inosuke was mumbling about the phone is not under the mattress."
It took Kotoha a minute before registering what's the actual meaning behind it. She replied back with an excited and long Ohh which got a chuckle from Douma.
Like mother like son.
---
He was raging. Inosuke Hashibira is raging with fire.
The next morning he confidently snuck his hand under the mattress only to scrabble on hard cardboard surface. He was screaming out of frustration, running through the house to find his father all the while screaming "OYAJIIIIIIIIII!!!!!". He was asking for his father's whereabout to his mom, in which Kotoha simply reply he has already gone to work and Inosuke should take a bath first before eating; with a cheery tune.
Needless to say, he practically throw a tantrum for 5 hours straight--even on breakfast. Kotoha was ignoring him the whole time, deciding to be deaf and continue her household chores like normal.
"It's weekend! Why would he even work on weekend!"
The boar boy rummage through the refrigerator while exasperating how this is unfair and Douma is a cheater for knowing his phone location.
He can't even control the television and had to endure his mother's ridiculous soap opera.
Inosuke lay his head on Kotoha's lap as he quietly sulk, facing the television and endure the stupid show about a married woman running away from her abusive husband and decided to live with a handsome man she came across.
Inosuke snort. This story is so unrealistic.
An idea suddenly crossed his empty head. "Mommy."
"Hm? What is it, darling?"
"Can I play your phone?" He roll on his stomach, giving his best puppies eyes at her but Kotoha just smile statically at him; totally unfazed.
"No."
Mission fail. Time for plan B.
Inosuke tug on the strains of Kotoha's blue hair in a benevolent way. "Then," he paused for a bit, "Can I go to my henchmen's house?"
This time Kotoha nod subtly. "Make sure you'll be back before 7." Inosuke jump from excitement, he immediately make a dash toward his room upstair and put on his sweater--unzip. Inosuke was grabbing for his phone only to grasp on thin air.
Oh yeah, my phone is being taken by an evil monster. A bit rude of Inosuke for calling his own father a monster.
After he put on his boar hat and grab some snacks from the pantry, Inosuke goes to his mom for a goodbye kiss.
"Bye-bye baby! Behave okay? Or we'll add more punishment for you." Kotoha said between her season of cheek kisses.
Inosuke groan but he agree to be a good person. He won't risk another freedom of his to be taken away.
He bid her bye while closing the front door, walking on the front yard while thinking of the options of house available for him. Zenitsu's house is occupied with his grandpa and his scary older brother; which Inosuke trying his best to avoid seeing the man, Aoi is usually helping with her family's pharmacy on weekends so she mostly won't be available at home at a time like this. That leave Tanjiro and Nezuko's house that is filled with their rowdy siblings and smell of fresh pastries.
Pastries. Inosuke always love the Kamado's pastries; their bun is soft, pie is crispy, cake is just the right amount of sugar and they always give it to him for free everytime he came to visit. Not to mention their house smell of pure bread waft.
With the set destination in mind, Inosuke make his way to Tanjiro's house running while laughing maniacally.
"COMING THRU', COMING THRU'!!!" His voice ring across mansions in the neighborhood while some of the neighbors yell at him for being too loud.