Chapter Text
~~~~~
“Are you really happy with me?”
The question catches Taehyung off-guard. The two of them are lying on their bed. Naked, sweaty bodies wrapped around each other. With Jungkook’s arm around his waist. His head rests on Jungkook’s chest. The blanket pulled over them to hide their lower bodies.
Taehyung glances up at the man. Jungkook is already looking at him. Taehyung sees the apprehension in those eyes. As if the answer really matters to Jungkook. As if he is not sure what Taehyung would say.
“You can tell me, angel,” Jungkook’s voice is barely audible in the silence of the room, “I really want you to be honest with me.”
Taehyung traces Jungkook’s jaw with his lean finger, a small smile on his lips, “I’m happy, Jungkook. I’m better than happy with you.”
“What is better than happy?” Jungkook quirks his brow in amusement, kissing the tip of Taehyung’s finger, “hmm?”
Taehyung’s palm rests against Jungkook’s cheek to gently sway him for a kiss. Jungkook hums into it, licking into Taehyung’s mouth with a leisured smile.
“I feel safe,” Taehyung arches when Jungkook’s palm spreads over his lower back, pulling him closer, “with you, I feel at ease. Comfortable. You,” he pulls back, so their eyes are on each other, “with you, I’m home.”
Jungkook swallows a deep breath, “you mean all that?” he shakes his head when Taehyung gives him a pointed stare, “I mean, I know you do. Just… sometimes I think you’d be better off with someone with a similar job like yours. Someone who is more like you. I don’t know how to explain that. I…”
Taehyung buries his face against Jungkook’s neck with a sigh, “I used to think that, too, you know? That I need someone who is just like me. Someone whose thoughts line up with mine. Someone who doesn’t work in the same field as my parents do, but that’s not the reality and I think I won’t change a single thing about it now. You know why?” he kisses the pulse point on Jungkook’s neck, “because, I’ve realized that we don’t need to see eye to eye about everything. As long as we have a common ground and I found that common ground for us,” he smiles at Jungkook, “that common ground is our love for each other. Our mutual respect for one another. That’s the common ground we share and that’s all that matters. Right?”
Jungkook gives a silent nod which earns him a boxy smile from Taehyung.
“Then, that’s my answer to your question,” Taehyung wraps his arm around Jungkook’s waist, “also, I feel comfortable enough around you to share my opinions, even when they’re different from yours, freely. That should show you how you provide a safe space for me. How the two of us feel comfortable enough around each other to freely disagree or discuss our different opinions. That’s good too, you know?”
Jungkook chuckles, his chest vibrating with it, “only if you understood that months ago, we wouldn’t have to spend so long without each other.”
Taehyung blushes, elbowing Jungkook with a roll of his eyes, “shut up. I had to make sure you’re the one I want for the rest of my life!” he pinches the tip of Jungkook’s nose with a teasing giggle, “that takes some time.”
Jungkook winces, biting Taehyung’s fingers to earn a squeak from him. He rolls them over so Taehyung ends up on top of him. He makes a choked, startled sound deep in his throat before glaring at Jungkook in surprise. Jungkook smirks at him while his arms wrap around his waist in a secure hold.
“I hope you’re,” Jungkook pecks Taehyung’s lips, “sure now?” his lips trail over Taehyung’s jaw, feeling the goosebumps rising under the touch, “because, I don’t think I’ll survive losing you, angel,” Jungkook drops his head on the pillow and smiles forlornly at Taehyung, “I don’t think I’ll manage to go on without you anymore. It was one thing when I didn’t know how it felt to hold you so close to me. Now that I know, I don’t think I can go without it. Ever again. So, be completely sure. Hmm?”
Taehyung’s eyes trail over his face. Their breaths ghost onto each other’s lips. Just a few inches away from each other.
Taehyung can’t seem to look away from that face. Jungkook is looking back at him. His hair is a mess because of sweat and how Taehyung kept running his fingers through those soft strands. They are spread over the pillows. Jungkook’s face is pale under the moonlight that cascades from the window. The edges of his face relaxed, making him look younger than he is. Boyish in a charming way. Always so charming. Taehyung’s eyes flicker to those parted lips. They are so full and pink. The mole underneath is so prominent up close. Taehyung dips to lick at it. Smiles when Jungkook arches into his touch. His arms tighten around Taehyung’s waist on instinct.
“I am sure,” Taehyung captures the lower lip into his mouth, sucking onto it before flicking his tongue over it, “I only want you. I’m sure.”
Jungkook’s relief is palpable in the way his eyes glimmer. The way the corners of his lips uplift. Taehyung’s mirroring the action before he kisses Jungkook fully.
“Did anyone ever tell you that you’re really pretty?” Taehyung mutters against Jungkook’s lips.
He feels the smile stretch on Jungkook’s lips, “mmhm,” Jungkook moans into the kiss, “there’s this guy who told me I’m so pretty, he can die.”
Taehyung’s heart is warm with bubbling emotions spilling and spreading through his veins. Warming him up and he’s huffing a giggle against Jungkook’s mouth.
“You’d listen to that guy,” Taehyung licks into Jungkook’s ear, earning a hiss from the man, “he’s got good taste in men, I’d say.”
Jungkook chokes on a curse as soon as Taehyung’s lips wrap around his earlobe, “fuck…mmhhm,” he rolls them over with a wicked grin, “that’s why I married him. Now, he’s tied to me for the rest of my life.”
Taehyung catches his breath with a roll of his eyes that he hopes hides the fond smile stretching on his lips.
“Idiot,” he scratches his nails on Jungkook’s scalp, tugging playfully at his hair.
Jungkook flops down on his chest, leg thrown over Taehyung’s waist, “your idiot.”
Too much air fills Taehyung’s chest as he nods, “yeah. My idiot.”
They fall asleep with Taehyung on his back and Jungkook sleeping between his legs. His head rests on Taehyung’s chest. Taehyung’s arms wrapped around him in a comfortable hold.
~~~~~
“You know I can just reach and take off the blindfold, right?” Jungkook asks in an amused voice.
“I know,” Taehyung’s reply comes promptly, “but, I also know, you won’t. Because I asked you not to.”
“Where are you taking me, angel?” Jungkook tries to pick up on his other senses now that his eyes are covered, “at least, give me a hint.”
“It’s your birthday,” Taehyung boops Jungkook’s nose with a giggle when Jungkook opens his mouth to bite his finger, “and, I wanted to do something for it.”
“That requires me being blindfolded?” Jungkook quirks his brows in disbelief.
“Mhhmm,” Taehyung leans to kiss his cheek, “now, be the sweet, obedient husband that you are and sit quietly.”
Jungkook huffs, “your wish is my command, sir captain.”
Taehyung grins against his cheek, “good.”
The car finally stops after Jungkook has run through every possible destination in his mind. Teahyung gets out of the car and someone opens the door for Jungkook. Jungkook steps out cautiously and his extended hand is taken in Taehyung’s tight grasp. Jungkook sighs in relief.
“There are steps ahead,” Taehyung instructs, “quite a few. I’ll tell you when it’s the last one. Come on.”
“If I break a bone, it’s on you,” Jungkook grumbles while the tip of his boot hits the first step and he stumbles until Taehyung wraps an arm around his waist.
“Slow down, my god!” Taehyung sounds exasperated, “six more steps and that’s it.”
Jungkook hears a heavy door open and the two of them step inside. It’s noticeably cold inside. There is no noise whatsoever. Jungkook takes hesitant steps with Taehyung and he can hear it echo. His frown deepens the more they walk.
“Where are we? Morgue?” Jungkook asks again.
Taehyung chokes on a laugh, “are you fucking serious? Fuck, Jungkook, stop being so extra!”
Jungkook arches a brow, “well… you’re not telling me. I’m just guessing the worst scenarios.”
“How about you just sit,” Taehyung pushes on his shoulders to make him sit on a chair, “and, be pretty for me? Don’t you dare take off the blindfold!”
“Tae!” Jungkook reaches his hand out, “where are you going?”
“Just trust me, babe,” Taehyung’s voice titters with excitement, “you better not take off the blindfold. I’m trusting you with it.”
With an exasperated sigh, Jungkook slumps on the chair. He spreads his legs, drumming his hands over his thighs as he hears Taehyung’s footsteps fade.
Then he hears something like a plastic wrapper crumbling in someone’s hands. The rustling of a cloth moving before the faint whisper of it falling on the floor. Jungkook’s brows touch his hairline when he hears something metallic falling on the ground.
Taehyung’s belt buckle…?
“Are you undressing?” Jungkook calls out to the room.
“Fuck, babe!” Taehyung speaks softly, “you scared me! Don’t take off the bl—”
“Blindfold! I know, I know,” Jungkook leans back on the chair with an exasperated huff, tapping his boot on the floor impatiently now, “whatever you’re doing, take your time. It’s not like I’m dying out of curiosity.”
Taehyung chuckles, “I’m not sure if you’ll like this surprise or not. So, don’t stress me more with your sarcasm, babe.”
Jungkook’s frown eases, “Tae, you can just give me a flower and I’ll consider it the best gift of my life. Trust me. I mean it.”
Taehyung hums, “okay, then, I think you’ll like it because it’s surely more than a flower.”
After a few more minutes, when Jungkook is almost at his wit’s end, Taehyung talks again.
“Okay, babe, take off your blindfold.”
Jungkook’s hands fly to the material and he yanks it off while Taehyung giggles at his clear show of eagerness.
Jungkook blinks a few times to adjust his eyes to the darkness. He looks around and frowns. The room is dark. Pitch black. He can’t see anything.
“Angel?” Jungkook’s eyes move side to side before he stands up from the chair, “what’s going on?”
A light suddenly switches on and Jungkook swiftly turns to face the source of it.
The light is stationed at the farthest end of the room. A room that looks like a vast, spread-out space because Jungkook is sure that light is almost twenty feet away from him. The yellowish, faint, light is attached to the top of a frame, pointing at it. The light reflects on it in a manner that Jungkook can’t see what’s in the frame. So, he walks up to it. The closer he gets, the clearer the photograph becomes.
It was the first time Jungkook saw Taehyung at that party. Someone clicked the picture where they were talking to each other.
“You told me how you were smitten since the day you saw me.”
Taehyung’s voice rings in the room and Jungkook startles with a curse.
It’s not an ordinary room, Jungkook knows that by now. It looks like an empty art gallery with white, marble, floor and equally white walls where the huge picture is framed in golden.
“What you don’t know is…” Taehyung’s echoing voice pauses until the echo fades and Jungkook holds his breath without even realizing it, “there was this guy whose steps faltered when he saw you. You were wearing this silk, black shirt. Casually folded till your elbows. With a glass of champagne in your hand. The snarling snake so prominent against your pale skin… you were a sigh, Jeon Jungkook. That guy stood and watched you until his eomma told him who you were. Maybe, his eomma saw the admiration or awe in his eyes and decided to move forward with the proposal for that sole reason. I don’t know, but, yeah,” Taehyung laughs softly in the mic, “it was me.”
Jungkook looks at the picture with his heart beating in his throat. He has that glass of champagne in his hold and Taehyung has his hands crossed over his chest while they talk.
“You looked stunning that day,” Jungkook murmurs to the other man in the room somewhere, “I was gobsmacked.”
Taehyung hums, “I was, too. You were so gorgeous in that shirt. I still remember how I blushed when my mind drifted to some nasty places.”
Jungkook lets out a surprised laugh before turning towards the darkness, “is that so? Tell me more about it.”
“Shut up, I’m trying to keep this classy,” Taehyung scoffs, “now…”
The light goes off. Jungkook waits in confusion until another light turns on. A few steps from the photograph he saw. He walks up to that frame and a smile curves his lips.
It’s the picture of their engagement. Their eyes are on each other. Taehyung is putting the ring on Jungkook.
“I was praying for you to not break my heart,” Taehyung’s voice wavers, “cursing myself for even wishing anything from a man like you, well,” he coughs, “you know…”
Jungkook waves his hand while his eyes are stuck on that picture, “go on. I know how you felt back then.” he smirks in the general direction of Taehyung’s voice, “and, I know how you feel now. So, we’re good.”
Taehyung snorts, his voice is light as it comes through the mic when he speaks again, “now, now, don’t get cocky. What were you thinking there? You remember?”
Jungkook smiles widely, “I was nervous,” he recalls, “you won’t look at me. I remember you glanced at me twice during the ceremony—”
“You caught me twice,” Taehyung corrects, “I kept stealing glances. I told myself it was to gauge your reaction but now I can accept it to myself that… shit, you were so fucking attractive in that suit.”
Jungkook laughs, “Tae…”
“No, seriously,” Taehyung laughs, too, “you were so disarmingly charming and I had to force myself to remember why I’m not supposed to like you!”
Jungkook shakes his head with endearment, “and, you pouted through the engagement. Hmm?” he looks back at the darkness, “I think I was losing my heart to you without even knowing you that well.”
Taehyung sighs, “and, I was fighting with myself to not let my guard down… but, we both know how that ended.”
They share a smile before Jungkook is directed towards the next frame, where it’s them on a couch. With so many catalogues spread across the table for them to look through. Jungkook is pointing at something that has Taehyung leaning closer to look at it.
“We met once after our engagement,” Taehyung recalls, “at the wedding planner’s place where this picture was clicked. I guess, we both liked the same flowers. The same venue and everything?”
“We did,” Jungkook smiles to himself, “I think, every time we blurted out the same choice, I felt like a teenager with a crush. As if it meant something. As if—”
“We were fated to be together,” Taehyung completes it for him.
Jungkook crosses his arms over his chest. Nails digging on his biceps so he can compose himself. He nods mutely. Unable to voice his emotions even now.
Taehyung hums, “every time you guessed my choices correctly or said something I would have, I think you took off one brick after another that I used to build the walls around my heart. To not let you in. I don’t know, I still remember leaving that meeting with a sense of calm I didn’t feel with anyone else before. Trust me, I beat myself up about it that night. I didn’t sleep a wink thinking about you.”
Jungkook’s lungs fill with too much air. He bows his head with a smile and shakes his head in disbelief.
“And, to think you ruined my sleep since the day I met you,” he smirks at the frame, “I won’t apologize for stealing yours for a night.”
Taehyung snorts, “you stole quite a few, mister. It was just the starting. I think I didn’t sleep the night before our wedding either. Too many thoughts, my nerves fried with worry and anxiety…”
Another frame lights up and Jungkook walks towards it to see their wedding picture while Taehyung talks.
The picture is of them walking down the aisle hand in hand. Jungkook’s eyes are on his steps and Taehyung’s eyes are on him.
“I didn’t realize you were looking at me,” Jungkook reaches to touch the glass of the frame. Right over Taehyung’s face.
“I looked at you when you weren’t looking,” Taehyung replies in a gentle murmur, “you were stunning in that blue suit. I remember how I had to remind myself to breathe.”
Jungkook feels his face heating up and he looks at Taehyung’s picture to shift his focus, “you were mesmerizing in that forest-green suit, angel. I actually lost my words when I first saw you get out of the makeup room.”
Taehyung laughs, “you remember kissing me?”
“You mean if I remember when our lips touched for the first time and I freaked out about the fact that I had some raw coffee before like an idiot?” Jungkook deadpans while Taehyung giggles, “yeah, I did. I think I talked Yoongi’s ears off about how our first kiss would be so bitter until he had to shush me and tell me that we were not about to shove our tongues down each other’s throats. So, I can relax.”
“I can always trust Yoongi hyung to reason with you,” Taehyung guffaws.
Jungkook makes a face but his lips stretch in a smile too, “I guess, you can. Yeah.”
“You can rest those worries because all I remember from that fleeting touch of your lips on mine is how my ears rang and I felt like I’d faint any moment. I think I was too worked up to process it in its entity.”
“I think I was still processing that we were married,” Jungkook blows out a breath, “that… you were mine for the rest of my life if I didn’t fuck things up. You must have felt entirely different?”
Taehyung hums, “I don’t know. I felt angry that my parents got me to submit to their whims. I was hurt that I couldn’t choose the man I would want in my life. I also couldn’t forget how you looked at me during our vows.”
“How did I look at you?” Jungkook winces, “god, don’t tell me like a creep.”
Taehyung laughs for a second before sobering up, “you looked at me like…” he sighs dreamily, “you looked at me like I hung the moon and stars on your darkest sky.”
Jungkook nods, “sounds about right,” he closes his eyes with a serene smile.
“I wish I could go back and tell my past self that, I am indeed marrying the man I would choose down the road,” Taehyung sighs in contentment, “I wish I could tell my past self that I chose to marry his husband again. On my own free will. Because I fell in love with him. Because, he is worth my feelings and now he hangs the stars and the moon on my sky, too.”
Jungkook takes in a deep breath and quickly presses his fingers at the corners of his eyes. He thanks the gods when the light dims and the room is dark again.
Jungkook moves onto the next frame when the light overhead turns on and laughs, “ahh, the day you moved in with me. I think it was Namjoon who clicked this?”
“Yeah,” Taehyung agrees, “Jin hyung told me if I want to keep my things intact, I should just keep them away from Namjoon hyung’s reach. So, he was just in charge of taking pictures as Hobi hyung ordered him.”
Jungkook nods, “and, here we both were arguing over the mattress you brought with you as if my beds didn’t have mattresses already.”
Taehyung sounds indignant, “hey, I planned to sleep on the floor because I wasn’t going to share a bed with you. So, of course, I brought my own mattress. What if you told me there’s only one bed in the apartment?”
Jungkook’s eyes flicker over to the source of Taehyung’s voice with a bored expression, “life is not a fictional trope of, ‘there was only one bed,’ angel. Please, be serious. We have more than five bedrooms!”
Taehyung snorts, “still. I didn’t trust you to not pull some stunt like the fictional trope. So, yeah. We were arguing until you showed me my room—”
“Where is this mattress now?” Jungkook leans closer to look at it, “where did you keep it?”
“It’s in the storeroom,” Taehyung answers, “Jin hyung kept it there after I saw there was a functioning bed. Do you remember our first night together in the apartment?”
Jungkook nods, “I didn’t sleep a wink that night, too. I expected you by my side. You were in the next room, and you’ve no idea how I had to restrain myself from just walking up to that door and begging you to let me in. Shit, Tae,” he shudders, “I wanted you so bad.”
For a second or so Taehyung is quiet before his voice floats to Jungkook again.
“I stayed up staring at the door and expecting you to just burst inside somehow,” Taehyung says in a whisper as if recalling that night, “I was scared a little that you won’t respect my choices. That, you will…ummm…”
“Force myself on you?” Jungkook supplies.
“…Yeah,” Taehyung blows out a breath, “I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t think like that—”
“You should think exactly like that,” Jungkook waves his hand with a calm smile, “I am the boss of the biggest crime syndicate in the country, angel, if you thought I’d cross a line, you didn’t do something wrong. I could have.”
“But, you didn’t,” Taehyung mumbles, “I woke up the next morning to your knock on my door and when I opened the door you were there. With my breakfast on a tray. You made it. You left it on my bed with just a ‘good morning,’ and you melted my fears away. I think I teared up. I don’t know, I guess, in relief.”
Jungkook thinks about that day with a bob of his head, “I think I wanted to kiss you when you opened the door. You looked so beautiful in your sleep-muddled state, fuck, I was so close to crossing your boundaries. If I stayed to say something more than that good morning, I might have done something I’d hate myself for. So, I left as fast as I could manage.”
“And I think you won a token of my trust that day. You left me to myself to explore the place when you left for office and I think I liked how you didn’t try to force a proximity between us. Let me breathe for a few hours to familiarize myself with the new place.”
Jungkook nods to himself, “I had to. I needed you to feel at home with me somehow…” he looks at the next frame when the lights turn on and smiles, “and, this was the sign for me that you were starting to feel at home.”
It’s a picture of them with a figurine. A man with an alligator head. Jungkook is frowning at it and Taehyung is telling him something with wild gestures.
Taehyung laughs, “that figurine surely added some class in our living room.”
Jungkook can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of him, “only if it didn’t give me a heart attack the first time I saw it.”
“It’s not his fault that you came home so late at night and got jumped by it!”
“It was standing at a corner with the window behind it, Tae,” Jungkook exclaims, “I seriously pulled my gun on it until I realized it’s a statue.”
“Idiot,” Taehyung says in a fond voice, “your curses woke me up that night.”
Jungkook looks at the frame in front of him with a gentle smile, “I think it was Yoongi who took this picture of us with it?”
“Yeah, he said we look like the parents of that man. He also said, our taste in the interior is almost the same because you gifted him something similar a few years ago?” Taehyung giggles.
“My taste in the interior was just fine until you came into my life, thank you,” Jungkook makes a face, “can’t believe now we have a weird butt-shaped chair with my fine dining table and some very questionable faces as paintings because you painted them. Those brows don’t even match each other, angel!”
Taehyung sounds exasperated, “they make that apartment feel like home, now, move along!”
Jungkook steps ahead to the next frame and pauses. It’s a picture in the Jeon family mansion. Both of them are under a tree. Spread out on a blanket. Taehyung listening to music and painting something while leaning against the tree and Jungkook is spread out on his back beside him.
“This is where you told me you wish time could just pause at that moment,” Taehyung whispers, “what did you mean?”
Jungkook thinks back about that day and his chest fills with warmth, “it was autumn,” he whispers back, “the sun felt so nice on my skin and the garden was so quiet. I could hear you humming the song you were listening to, smell the acrylic colours you were using for your painting, and I could enjoy my favourite book in silence. It felt like I was in a bubble where everything was just perfect. I think I kept dreading the moment in our marriage when everything goes south since I married you,” Jungkook waves his hand, “kept expecting you to find a reason to leave. So, that moment, in that garden felt really nice, it was so peaceful. We didn’t talk. We didn’t argue. We were just existing beside each other and there were no worries in my mind. I just really wanted time to stop for a second, so I could take it all in. More than that, I loved how close we were. On a blanket. Your perfume floating to me, consuming my senses. Your soft hum of the song reaching my ears. It was the peace and comfort I wanted to preserve.”
When he stops, Taehyung is quiet, too. Jungkook looks at the picture again and thinks it was probably his mother who took that picture. It’s a little blurry around the edges. His mother isn’t a pro when it comes to photography. Her focus always loses the subject. Yet, it’s somehow perfect. A perfect shot of a perfect day.
Jungkook can still feel the soothing sun on his skin if he tries. Still smell the perfume Taehyung wore that day.
“It was that day I accepted to myself that you were really handsome,” Taehyung chuckles when Jungkook’s head snaps up in alert, “yeah, I guess, I kept denying it to myself until that day. You were so beautiful in your plain jogger and t-shirt. I couldn’t help but accept it. I didn’t think you were such a bookworm either,” he ignores Jungkook’s grumble and continues, “normally, I don’t like company when I am painting. I find it disturbing. But, you were there. With your book. Not questioning me on my painting. Not disturbing me in any way. Just being there silently with me. I think, I really loved that afternoon, too. I thought to myself that I can do this marriage thing if you always be such good company.”
Jungkook takes a deep breath to compose himself. All those words fill up his mind with happiness he wants to preserve for the rest of his life. He wants to remember Taehyung’s every word for as long as he can. He swallows when the light goes out and the next one comes alive. Jungkook walks up to it and pauses.
“Ahh, your birthday party,” he blows out a breath, “I remember how nervous I was when I gifted you that bracelet you refuse to take off nowadays,” Jungkook looks over his shoulder, “did you like it back then?”
“I loved it,” the voice brim with satisfaction, “I took it to bed that night. Wondered why didn’t you ask to put that on me in the party.”
“I wanted to,” Jungkook shakes his head, “then held myself back because I thought you’d reject the idea. I didn’t want you to agree because our parents were hovering over us, either. So…”
“I wore it after I got home,” Taehyung responds, “I kept staring at it the entire night. I think I expected you to ask me for a dance. It was a ballroom party, Jungkook. Why didn’t you?”
Jungkook says nothing.
“Right, you were respecting my boundaries,” Taehyung clears his throat, “I was starting to expect from you. I don’t know since when that started but I was starting to long for things I shouldn’t have when I was the one who drew the lines between us.”
Jungkook shrugs, “also, the songs your mother chose were terrible. I didn’t want our second dance to be on any of those.”
“Hey!” Taehyung protests and bursts out laughing, “okay, fair. I hated those songs too.”
Jungkook moves to the next frame and it’s the New Year’s party. Their friends are around them. It was in Jungkook’s office. Taehyung and Jimin came together to attend because Taehyung didn’t want to feel bored on his own.
The photo is of him and Jungkook. On the opposite sides of the room. Both of them looking at each other with a sea of people between them.
“Hobi hyung clicked it,” Taehyung supplies, “he gave it to me and told me, ‘I knew that you were meant to be right at this moment. It was the way you two kept seeking each other out in the sea of people.’ and I wish he told me sooner. I wish I had seen this picture sooner. God, Jungkook, I look like I was fighting some invisible powers that tried to pull me towards you.”
Jungkook hears the hitch in Taehyung’s breath and nods, “I wanted to kiss you when the ball dropped,” his nails dig into his biceps, “I wished we’d have a better next year that night instead. I wanted to kiss you so bad, Tae.”
“I didn’t know about a kiss but I waited for you to wish me.”
“You could have wished me, too,” Jungkook challenges with a lopsided smirk, “but, no. We both waited for each other and the moment passed.”
“I think we never wished each other then?”
Jungkook agrees, “we didn’t. The party ended with you sticking to Jimin and I was on the other side of the room. My eyes stuck on you like a love-sick puppy.”
Taehyung sighs, “but, I remember you offered me a drink. Told me it’s sweet and I was shocked that you remembered how I liked my drinks. I never told you.”
“I noticed,” Jungkook ducks his head with a shy smile, already moving ahead, “I notice everything you do, angel. I’m good at it.”
The frames line up one after another till their second wedding and the last day of their honeymoon. The two of them looking at something in the distance with their hands laced between them. Yoongi clicked it from behind.
“You must be bored by now,” Taehyung sounds apologetic, “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not bored at all,” Jungkook rolls his eyes with a quirk of his lips, “I loved the walk down the memory lane. Would have loved it even more if you were beside me. Why are you hiding, angel?”
“I have my reason,” the tone is petulant, and it makes Jungkook shake his head in endearment, “this is an art gallery I bought. For us to add the memories of our life as it goes on. We’ll come here to walk through them and keep adding more to them. Starting from today on your birthday. Do you like it?”
All the lights in the gallery turn on when Taehyung stops. Jungkook flinches as the lights almost blind him with the sudden brightness. He squints to look around the place. It’s a two-story structure with a marbled staircase leading upstairs.
Jungkook looks at the dark upper floor with curiosity.
“Now…” Taehyung’s voice dips, “if you’d take the stairs, please.”
Jungkook takes the stairs and looks at the heavy, metallic door that stops him at the end of the stairs.
“The code is 24092022,” Taehyung supplies.
Jungkook punches in the code and looks ahead, “our wedding date, huh?”
“You remember?” Taehyung sounds surprised.
Jungkook steps inside and the door closes behind him. He leans over the marbled railing to look at the gallery on the ground floor with a hum.
“Told you, angel,” he turns to face the darkness again, “I remember everything that’s remotely connected to you.”
“And, I captured all the things that remind me of you,” a soft, yellowish light enhances the centre of the room.
The profile lights on the ceiling turn on next for Jungkook to finally look around at the pictures hanging on the walls.
Yet the first thing Jungkook sees is Taehyung, on the other side of the room. He changed into a white shirt and forest-green shorts. His curls frame his face. The face is properly dolled up with a bit of eye makeup, blush and lip tint. Jungkook can’t seem to look away as Taehyung walks over to him.
“So, you were hiding from me to get ready?” Jungkook reaches instinctively to wrap his arm around Taehyung’s waist to pull him closer, “looking so pretty, angel.”
Taehyung leans as far back as he can when Jungkook tries to kiss him, “I dressed up for our dinner at ajumma and samchon's place where the others are waiting for us. But, we aren't leaving right now. We'll go,” he takes a hold of Jungkook’s cheeks and turns his face towards the photographs, “after you see them. I clicked each one of them for you.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes with a smile and lets Taehyung lead him towards the lined-up photographs.
The nearest one to him is a photograph of a fireplace. The focus is on the flames, while Jungkook can see the snowfall behind the fireplace through the glass wall. It’s their apartment during winter.
He pulls Taehyung closer with his hold on Taehyung’s waist, “fire reminds you of me?”
Taehyung chuckles, shaking his head in endearment, “no,” his tender eyes trace the photo as he speaks, “the warmth a fireplace provides during the coldest winter, that reminds me of you. The snowstorm outside is like my life in general,” Taehyung leans closer to Jungkook, “stress of work, exhaustion of daily chores, every sort of worries, all those things and then, I come home to you,” he looks at Jungkook, “take off my burdens and sit in your lap. You wrap your arms around me and kiss me, tell me, ‘welcome home,’ and I feel so… warm,” he gestures at the fireplace, “like the comforting warmth of the flames to a freezing person. Bringing life back to his slowly dying limbs.”
Jungkook feels something clog at his throat. He can’t say anything because his words are jumbled in his head. He looks at the fireplace and back at Taehyung. Taehyung probably understands what he wants to say, anyway. He pulls Jungkook towards the next picture.
.
It’s a picture of the rain from their balcony. The railing of the balcony is visible at the bottom edge of the picture. The rain is making everything a blur ahead. Only a few splashes of colours, oddly shaped here and there which look like the buildings and the city in general.
“The rain reminds me of the day you found me in Seojoon hyung’s apartment,” Taehyung whispers closer to him, “it reminds me of how you stormed inside and the relief that flooded through me after seeing you. I…” Taehyung smiles to himself, “was waiting for you to find me. As if I knew you’d come and when you did, the feeling… I can’t describe it, Jungkook. When our eyes met, I think I lost myself to you entirely that day. Then you left and I never want to feel what I felt at that moment. It was like, I was standing under the rain for hours and my body was slowly getting cold, losing sensations, until I froze to death. So, I had to leap out of there to find you. My flames. My comfort in a human shape. The rain will always take me back to that day and I’ll always be grateful that I went after you. Every time there will be a rainy day, Kim Taehyung will always think about you, Jeon Jungkook.”
Jungkook kisses him, “fuck! Tae…”
Taehyung smiles into the kiss, guiding Jungkook to the next picture. It’s a picture of Jungkook’s perfume. A laugh bubbles out of Jungkook when he sees how artistic the shot looks. He turns his eyes towards Taehyung, and Taehyung has a bashful expression. He shrugs.
“Let’s just say, your scent,” Taehyung takes a deep breath, “I started to associate it with my safe place. Every time I smell the scent, anywhere, on anyone, I think of you and if you’re not with me, I miss you. Is that normal?” he tilts his head, “or, I’m just way too hopelessly in love with you?”
Jungkook’s lungs fill with too much air and he shakes his head with glistening eyes, “I think it’s normal because your perfume has the same effect on me.” then he feigns a thoughtful expression, “but, then… I am, in fact, madly in love with you. So, who am I to know?”
Taehyung blushes and that smile stretches wide on his lips. He pinches Jungkook’s bicep with a roll of his eyes that barely has any bite to it. Jungkook leans to rub the tip of his nose against Taehyung’s cheek, leaving goosebumps on its awake.
“Moving on,” Taehyung drags Jungkook to the next frame, their arms laced together, “Jungkook,” he whines when Jungkook just stares at him, “focus!”
Jungkook looks back at the next frame and his arm tightens around Taehyung protectively.
It’s one of Jungkook’s guns. Jungkook looks at it for a long moment before looking at Taehyung in a silent question.
Taehyung’s eyes are moist and the smile is still so calm. Jungkook tries to read that expression but he can’t. He looks back at the gun with a deep breath.
“Are you saying violence reminds you of me—”
“No!” Taehyung’s smile falters, “no, Jungkook, that’s not—” he licks his lower lip before looking at the gun, “it reminds me how you protected me when I was in danger. It reminds me how you came for me every time I needed you and it assures me that you’ll always come for me. I never thought a gun would make me feel so at ease, but here we are. Your gun makes me feel safe.”
Jungkook’s shoulders visibly slump and he ducks his head to exhale a long breath he didn’t know he was holding. When he straightens, Taehyung can see the moisture in those eyes. He squeezes their joined hands and Jungkook chuckles. He kisses Taehyung’s knuckles with a hum.
“I think this is the best birthday gift anyone has ever given me,” Jungkook pinches the bridge of his nose, pushing his thumbs at the corners of his eyes with a breathy laugh, “I’m not used to this.”
“Good,” Taehyung cups the side of his face to turn Jungkook to look at him, “only I get to spoil you.”
Jungkook turns bodily to face Taehyung, their hands still joined between them, “even more spoiled than I am?”
Taehyung huffs a laugh, “yes,” he kisses the tip of Jungkook’s nose, “even more than you already are.”
“Uhhmm,” Jungkook squeezes Taehyung’s ass and laughs when a squeak leaves Taehyung’s mouth, “I can think of some ways you can help in spoiling me further, angel.”
“Jungkook!” Taehyung pushes at his chest, “there are only two more frames left! Come on!”
Jungkook lets Taehyung drag him to the next one.
It’s a picture of a sunset. Jungkook tilts his head in confusion and looks back at Taehyung for an explanation.
Taehyung is looking at the photograph too, with a nostalgic smile, “every day, I would eagerly wait for the sunset when I was bedridden. Look at the window and see the sun slowly touch the horizon and as soon as the sky would start to turn a deeper shade of blue, I’d look at the door,” his voice goes heavy and Taehyung closes his eyes, “and wait for you to come home.”
Goosebumps rise on Jungkook’s skin. The words leave a shock to his system that he has to take a deep breath to compose himself. He looks back at the sunset. Yes. It’s clicked from that window in their bedroom. He recognizes the buildings now. He looks back at Taehyung who is looking at the picture again.
“I don’t know when the sunset became the best time of the day for me,” Taehyung turns to look at Jungkook again, with a wobbly smile, “I don’t know since when I started to miss you as soon as you left my sight and since when I started to count the hours till it’s sunset again so I can have you back in my arms. But, it happened and now it’s the best hour. Golden Hour in the true sense. Even if I’m sitting in my office, looking at the sunset, I smile. Thinking of you. Send you a message. If you noticed.”
Now that Jungkook thinks about it, he sucks in a sharp breath. Every day. Every day Taehyung sent him a message during that time of the day. ‘I love you.’ It’s the same every day and Jungkook would always reply right away, ‘I love you, too.’
Jungkook takes Taehyung’s hand in his with a wavering smile and glossy eyes, “I love you.”
A tear rolls down Taehyung’s cheek, he smiles, and nods, “I love you, too.”
.
The last picture is of the moon from the same window. Jungkook takes his time admiring it. It’s a full moon against the pitch-black backdrop. The moon beaming in the middle of the photograph. Perfectly framed by the window. The more Jungkook looks at the photograph, the calmer he feels.
Taehyung rests his head on Jungkook’s shoulder with a sigh.
“The moon reminds you of me?” Jungkook wonders in a gentle voice.
Taehyung tilts his head, “well,” he sighs, content, “the moon reminds me of our journey so far,” he gestures at the moon, “when the moon first starts its circle, it’s a new moon with nothing to see in the sky. Just as we did,” he chuckles, “when we got married, there was nothing between us significant enough to notice. It was all just darkness and us trying to navigate through it.”
Taehyung shakes his head with a small smile, “then, with time, came the waxing crescent. I started to feel something for you. Something that lingered. Enough to distinguish in the darkness of my heart. Just like a crescent moon on the sky.”
Taehyung can feel Jungkook’s eyes on him but he keeps his eyes on the photograph, “then I got hurt and you were there. Taking care of me, despite the way I behaved with you. My feelings keep growing for you,” Taehyung’s heart fills with warmth as he recalls those days, “like the moon phrase, ‘first quarter,’” he looks at Jungkook to see those glossy, round eyes, “I was torn in half-and-half. One side was falling for you. The other was still resisting.”
He blows out a deep breath, “I kept waiting for you to do something to break my heart. To do something that I can point at and force my heart to move on. Remind my heart of it every day and get rid of my feelings for you. But, you… fuck, Jungkook, you kept doing all the right things and I kept falling deeper and deeper for you. I was so terrified that you wouldn’t be there, at the landing, to catch me as I fell. That, I’ll be left nursing my own broken self. But you never left my side and the moon kept growing. It was the ‘waxing gibbous,’ phrase of my heart.”
Taehyung turns to face Jungkook fully, “and, I resisted even then. I was terrified of loving you because, my feelings were so intense, Jungkook. They…” he shudders, “they made me scared. So scared. I don’t know, Jungkook, I was trying to fight it so hard. Then the day came when you told me you’d leave me. That, you’ll sign the divorce papers and you asked me to leave. That night, when I got out of our apartment and walked out in the storm, I realized, I had nowhere to go.”
Taehyung wipes at his eyes furiously, “not because, I didn’t have a place. I had so many places where I’d be welcomed, but I didn’t want to go anywhere. I stood under the rain and realized; I only wanted you. I wanted you to come and get me. I wanted to be with you. Just you. Even when I showed up at Seojoon hyung’s place… Jungkook, I wanted you to come for me. Take me away. My heart was full of you by then. All of it belonged to you. It was the full moon.”
Taehyung looks at the photograph with a teary-eyed smile, “I know, there will be times when the moon will go through all those phrases all over again. I know life is just a repetitive circle of the moon but, trust me, Jungkook,” he clutches Jungkook’s hands in both of his, pulls them up to his lips to tenderly kiss those knuckles, “my heart will always be full of love for you. Always. I promise. I will always finish the circle with my heart full of love for you. I swear. I’ll never stop loving you. Just like the moon isn’t visible in the sky during the new moon phase, but it’s still there, my love for you will always be there. Even if we fight some days, or go through some hardships, I’ll always love you. Please don’t doubt it. Please trust me on this one thing that I will always love you.”
Jungkook helplessly looks at the moon and back at Taehyung. Words are clashing against each other in his head. His tongue stuck on the roof of his mouth. He tries to articulate a response but nothing works. Nothing seems to add up to what he feels at that moment.
Taehyung’s hold on his hand is grounding. The warmth seeps through his skin and reaches his bones. Jungkook’s hand twitches, clutching onto Taehyung’s in silence.
In front of him, Taehyung’s face starts to blur. Jungkook blinks, trying to will away the moisture from his eyes. He takes a deep breath when he sees how Taehyung’s eyes reflect the same emotions. How they are just as glossy as his own.
Taehyung’s expression is just as vulnerable as Jungkook feels.
It’s a comfort that they are in this together. Both walking side by side. Both of them going through the phases of the moon to become full again.
The circle will continue and so will their journey together. Because they love each other and no matter what goes wrong, they will always find each other again.
Things will go wrong. It’s life. Not all days will be full of sunshine and rainbows. There will be storms, and there will be rainy days, but they will never stop thinking about each other, and loving each other.
“I love you,” Jungkook whispers, those three words will always bind them together, enough to stand against everything that might come their way, “I’ll always love you.”
Taehyung sways forward as if his knees weakened. With a sob, he wraps his arms around Jungkook’s shoulders, “I love you just as much.”
Not more. Not less. They love each other equally. Their common ground. Their shared love.
Jungkook holds Taehyung by the waist when Taehyung initiates a kiss.
He startles when a Pendulum Clock rings somewhere in the gallery. Announcing midnight.
“Happy birthday, dear husband,” Taehyung murmurs against Jungkook’s lips, “make a wish and send it to the moon.”
Jungkook’s eyes never waver from Taehyung when he pulls back to look at that beautiful face.
“She already granted me all my wishes and prayers,” a tear rolls down Jungkook’s cheek and Taehyung’s lips wobble, those pupils dilating, “let me thank her tonight for that. I’ve nothing else to wish for.”
Taehyung pulls him in a bone-crushing hug, burying his face against Jungkook’s throat. Jungkook hugs him just as desperately.
He looks at the photograph of the moon and closes his eyes with a smile.
‘Let us grow old together. Please.’
Taehyung’s lips touch the pulse on Jungkook’s neck and he sends a prayer to the moon.
‘Let us grow old together. Please.’
.
.
.
Theirs is a love despite.
A love despite the hardships.
A love despite the differences between them.
A love despite their worlds clashing.
~~~~~