Work Text:
I stealth through the office building as quietly as I can when humming the Mission Impossible theme. I ignore the curious stares of everyone in the room as I hide behind a potted plant. One person - 40s, balding, still growing in a sideways fashion - picks up a phone to call security. I mentally concede that I could have planned this better, but I want to get this done before the spouse gets home.
"Miss, what are you doing?" I feel a tap on my shoulder. Throwing caution to the wind, I start running through the offices like a maniac. Papers fly as shocked personnel dodge out of my way. I spot her, standing beside the coffee machine in the break room, as I pass by. A quick reversal and jump over the desk of a startled secretary avoids the grasping hands of the now-wheezing security guard. I shake the wastebasket off my foot and run into the room. The placement of the door puts me directly behind her.
My sledge comes down, but she moves at the last moment. I only strike her shoulder. A twist and I slam it into her side. She flies into the wall and I lift the over-sized hammer again to bring it down on her head. A banging noise resonates through my ears. As I collapse, four thoughts go through my dying mind. The first, is that I appear to have been shot. The second, was to wonder when they started letting security guards carry 45s. The third, as I see her mangled and angry form start to rise, is that it was so very worth tracking down priests of 27 different religions to have the weapon blessed. The fourth is whether assaulting the Goddess of Creation is a hell-worthy offense...
I quickly decide, as I stare at the Game Over screen and note that my save files are all corrupted, that it was still definitely worth it.