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“I love you so much, but it feels like my emotions have dissapated. I don’t feel or have feelings for you anymore, i just··· can’t handle your clingyness··· and your love for me··· It feels like i’m not fit to be yours, so i deliberately sent you this so i can say my final goodbyes. Justine. There are a lot of people fit for you other than me···
Goodbye, Justine.” Jervy hits send.
Her hands start shaking, imagining worst-case scenarios···
She inhales and turns off her phone, before drifting off to sleep.
[ THE NEXT MORNING ]
Jervy woke up and checked her phone only to be hit with a cruel message from Moneta.
“Justine··· She’s··· on the ground bloodied. I’m sick to my stomach.”
“What? Please don’t joke like that.”
“I’m serious··· She’s··· dead!”
Jervy’s body shakes uncontrollably, tears stream down her cheeks.
She hyperventilates. Was it because of that message? No··· That can’t be.
Moneta sends one final blow.
“It’s all because of the message you sent her. She stepped infront of a car and···” Her tears blurred the sentence and she was breaking down.
Jervy looks back at her face in the photo frame of her and Justine··· She deeply regrets her actions. "This wouldn’t have happened if i haven’t told you my confession, Justine?"
"She never told me when her emotions subsided. Aren’t i so cruel?"
"I was the one who broke her. She··· stepped infront of a car. And··· And···" Jervy says through choked sobs.
"How cruel of me··· Even her face haunts me. Her teary eyes; the way i imagined Justine comforting herself, the same i used to comfort her." Jervy said to herself
"I wish there was a cure to this sickness." She whispered.
The heavy, immense guilt she felt after knowing she died.
"The worst part was··· I don’t think she ever hated me. Despite everything, she knew i was her safe place. That hurts the most."
She says, covering her face in her hands, tears streaming down her cheeks — and the the hands getting wet with tears.
"Oh··· The pain of losing Justine." She whispered her name.
"If there was another life where we could meet··· Please stay away from me, as far as you could. I’m nothing but a burden and badluck to you." Jervy sobs with that painful longing.
"I’m sorry for everything···" She cries her whole heart out.
6 Years pass by without her.
Standing before her··· Justine’s grave—Jervy cherished it deeply.
"I still miss you, my love. I’m now ‘Grade 8-Zara’. I was Grade 6-Zara before the moment you left me. I still think it’s my fault, no?”
Jervy smiles with tears. "I still remember your section, Grade 6-Mendeleev···" She wipes away her tears and whispers "You would've been like me··· like Grade 8-Mendeleev or something like that."
She chuckles softly. "I still miss your voice, idiot. I still love you, i just didn’t know how to express it.”
“Love, Jervy.” Jervy leaves Justine’s favorite flowers — Roses & Tulips.
[ Months pass by, and Jervy hasn't been visiting Justine’s grave lately because of school teacherwork. ]
One day, Jervy decides to visit her grave.
"Happy 7th Anniversary, my love." Jervy smiles.
"I think i’m slowly forgetting you··· No, i wouldn't··· Right?" She said, panicked.
“I feel like··· forgetting your giggles."
"Was your voice a little higher?"
"I don’t remember your favorite food···"
She quickly pushed those thoughts aside and pulled out a notebook — a special notebook that kept Justine’s fun facts, funny jokes, her personality··· Anything.
"Okay··· So favorite food is sinigang, adobo, and specifically··· strawberry sorbet. The one that she hasn't told anyone about." Jervy smiles to herself, before looking up and reaching out a hand to trace the words carved on the grave — " Rest in Peace "
"I love you more than anything. More than my lessons. More than my friends. More than me."