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Q pulled out his phone and hit speed dial. It was only a couple of beeps before the sound of Bond’s voice rumbled in his ear.
“Q?”
“Bond,” he said matter-of-factly. “My locator tells me you're only thirty minutes from the airport. I don’t suppose I could trouble you to pick me up?”
“Excuse me? You’re….in Japan? You flew? In an actual plane?”
Q rolled his eyes. “Don’t sound so surprised, Bond. I may not be field agent material but I know how to battle my own demons.” He paused to take in Bond’s surprise at the turn of events before saying, “particularly if the payoff is worth the potential effort…?” he trailed off suggestively.
“I’m on my way,” Bond replied before cutting the call.
Q looked at his phone. Eager much, he thought to himself with a smile while he fired off a text.
I'm all in navy. And wearing contacts. In case you're specifically looking for a bespectacled boffin in jumpers and tweed.
PS You should know I'm also grinning like a loon.
20 minutes later (because it’s 007 of course)
James pulled out his phone and read the message, chuckling while he made his way through the crowd towards the meeting point.
He pinged a reply.
Is that a fact? Like a loon? Can I have evidence?
A brief moment and a response.
I'll even send you a selfie! Just you wait!
James rounded the corner and spotted Q just as the younger man snapped a picture of himself. That's if it really was Q. He looked five years younger without his trademark bargain bin clothes, and he was smiling. Definitely happy.
Bond called Q again and saw the young man answering phone to someone. He snared him from behind around the waist, momentarily surprising the Quartermaster.
"And here I was to send the picture to you just a moment ago,” Q said with a beaming smile.
"I have a better view from here. Where I can see your smile in all its glory." He grinned as Q turned round in his arm and looked at him. "Hello there gorgeous."
"Hello to you too, stranger,” Q smiled at the blonde and leaned in for a kiss. Someone was awwwing at them but he chose to ignore it.
James kissed back, cupping Q's face in his hands and grinning. "This is quite a surprise. To what do I owe the pleasure?"
"I think you've invited me to our anniversary holiday, or have you forgotten already in your old age?" Q smirked.
James's eyes sparkle with wicked mirth. "Old age? And I did, but I expected to come home, fetch you and do something on home soil.”
“And you must admit, I do look quite... fetchable, don't I?" Q replied with a slow smile, a downward glance and a jut of his hip.
"Stop that before we are arrested for indecent behaviour. Look at all the Japanese schoolgirls who are taking pictures of us and giggling like mad,” said Bond, mock sternly.
Q winked and took James's hand. "Come on then. I believe I was promised an anniversary trip."
James tried to shoo all the schoolgirls but it was impossible.
"One of the reasons I dislike Japan."
"Which is why exactly?"
"Far too many women," Q deadpanned.
"There can never be enough women," Bond shot back. "Much easier to spot your gorgeous skinny arse in a sea of curves."
Q blushed to the tips of his ears as he hid his smile. "So where's the hotel?"
Bond just smirked.
"Please tell me we'll be staying in a hotel." Q looked at Bond with his puppy dog eyes.
"Certainly not. You surprised me by showing up unannounced, my lanky boffin. I reserve the right to return the favour."
Q stared at him indignantly. "No hotel. Then where?"
Bond pulled out his phone and fired off a quick message. "Well I would tell you, but then I'd have to kill you." He hustled Q closer to him as they pushed through the crowd towards the car park. "And if your premature death is going to be the order of the day, I'd much rather take you there and shag you senseless first."
The drive took them a couple of hours into the Japanese countryside, Q getting incrementally more agitated the greater the gathering distance between them and civilisation. "Wherever you're taking us, Bond, there had better be a WiFi signal or I'll set my cats on a mission to destroy your suits when we get back to London," Q groused. He was just on his third rant at the increasingly maddening agent - silent and smug in the driver's seat - when Bond finally spoke. "Ah. Here we are..." Q tore his gaze from Bond and his breath caught. "We're GLAMPING near Mount Fuji?!" he sputtered.
"We are, in fact, 'glamping'," James replied, unable to keep the smile off his face. There's food in the car, and we're miles and miles away from anyone who can hear us." He pulled Q close and kissed the shocked boffin deeply. "Now. How about I get to view that gorgeous arse of yours in bed?"
Q reached into the back of the car and eagerly grabbed his rucksack. "When in Rome, Bond," he said officiously. "First things first," he continued, climbing out of the car. "You are in Japan now. Foreign soil. And there are customs and rituals to be respected," he called over his shoulder, strolling towards the luxurious tent.
"Oh is that right?" James followed, eager and curious to see what his lover was up to. "Enlighten me then."
"Have you heard of Oho-harahe, Hadaka Matsuri, Chado, any of the above?" Q asked turning to face Bond as he tossed his rucksack on a nearby recliner.
"I take it you're more familiar with Japanese customs than I am."
"Got you on the ropes have I, Bond?" Bond raised an eyebrow in response. "Oh don't worry," said Q. "None of the above involve ropes. Though it might be more painful an experience than you think," he continued with a grin, slipping off his shoes before pulling his sweater off.
James leaned against a low counter to watch as Q began stripping. "I rather like this view."
"Yes..." Q replied dreamily while staring out the large windows and lifting one foot up after the other to remove his socks. "Fuji is rather spectacular this time of year isn't it."
"Cheeky monkey," James growled, taking off his own shoes and socks. "You know perfectly well what I'm talking about."
"Ah ah," Q said, with a wave of his finger, "you're getting ahead of yourself, 007. Now. What was I saying... Oh yes. Oho-harahe," he continued instructionally while walking in the direction of the bathroom, knowing Bond would follow, ”is a sacred water ceremony the purpose of which is to purify and cleanse body, mind and soul from pollution, sins and pain. Let's start there, shall we?"
James realised exactly what Q was doing; time to pull out a few tricks of his own. He crowded Q in the bathroom, pressing his nose against his lover's neck and nuzzling the sensitive flesh there. "I love it when you give instructions," he purred as his hands stroked down Q's bare chest.
"Easssyyy there, tiger," whispered Q, knowing it would be difficult to resist the pull of the agent but determined nonetheless to make the pain pleasurable. He pushed him away and forced him to sit on the warm ledge opposite the open shower. "Be a good boy and stay. There," he said, stepping back and undoing and dropping his jeans, before moving under the shower head and switching on the stream of warmth to cascade across his skin.
James's mouth watered slightly as he watched the water sluice over Q's now naked and delicious body. "You said this was cleansing? Purification? Why exactly do we need purifying?" He resisted the desire to strip, instead crossing one leg over the other and leaning back to watch.
Q smiled through the clear layer of liquid flowing down his face. Standing in profile and tilting his head back, he savoured the sensation, imagining the filth of London, the stress of his job and the pain of lost colleagues and friends wash from his body and mind, swirling down the drain beneath his feet. His eyes remained closed as he spoke, though he could feel the heat of Bond's gaze adding to the warmth on his skin. "You of all people should appreciate the benefits of purification, Bond. We know what the job does to people in our line of work. The blood on our hands filling the cracks of our fractured conscience." He let his hands travel down his torso before turning to face him. "I came here to relieve you of some of that burden." He extended a beckoning hand. "Maybe replace the blood with something a little more stable." His smile became a grin. "That other ceremony I mentioned? Hadaka Matsuri? That actually translates to The Naked Men Festival...."
It took less than ten seconds for James to strip and join Q in the shower. He stood beneath the water and tried to let it wash away the stress and pain of the job, the countless deaths he had caused. "Tell me more about this Hadaka Matsuri, then," he murmured as he water eased the deep aches and soreness in his body.
"Oh that's a very interesting one," said Q. He and Bond stood back to back, not yet touching, savouring the closeness of a shared space above all else in that moment while they washed. "The origins date back to a time Japan was plagued by misfortune. People believed a naked body would absorb their evils. One man in the village was chosen. By touching his body, all misery and misfortunes were absorbed and the man was dispelled from the village for life."
"That's... not nearly as exciting as it sounded at first."
Q couldn't help but laugh at the response. "One track mind, Bond!"
"The idea of being cast out? That's not something I want anymore."
Q turned towards him, placing his hands on his back to prevent Bond from turning around. With splayed fingers he allowed his touch to drift across the scars. "You are, and always will be an outsider, James," he whispered close to his ear. "You are the man who saves other men from misfortune. The outcast who understands that what he does, he does for his country and to protect the few things in this world that he cares for." He leaned forward then to brush his lips across a shoulder blade. "The ceremony has changed in recent times you know..."
Bond swallowed hard, fighting back the emotion Q's words elicited. "How has the ceremony changed? I can't imagine it works if I'm already an exile."
"Nowadays it is considered an honour to be the chosen one. Would you believe grown men fight each other naked to find what is called the Shingi or lucky stick, hidden in a muddy pit? Finding it means good luck and prosperity will be yours." He stepped around the agent to look him in the eye. "Not quite the way you and I found each other but.... I would like for you to consider me your Shingi," Q said with a warm and disarming smile.
James felt a rare swell of emotion in his chest as he looked into Q's eyes. "I would be honored to do so," he said quietly, his voice a low rumble. "My luck and prosperity right here before me."
Q grinned wide, looking rarely youthful and carefree compared to the staunch Quartermaster in his MI6 guise. His next words weren't what Bond had expected but were welcome nonetheless. Q's gaze followed the lines of water sluicing down Bond's torso. "Though it looks like you've already got a lucky stick of your own..."
James growled but didn't pull Q close. He was eyeing his lover closely, licking his lip as he tried to decide where he wanted to kiss Q first. "I do. And I have a few very good idea of how to use it."
"I'll bet you do. Always good at improvisation whilst on a mission," said Q, pushing him away playfully before stepping out and grabbing a towel. "Enough with the rituals," he said emphatically, heading towards the bedroom. "Time to get dirty."
James followed eagerly, grabbing a towel and practically chasing Q into the bedroom. "Are you topping or am I? You seem to have all this planned already."
Q flopped back on the bed while still towelling his unruly mop of waves. "You're the one with the lucky stick, Bond. Take a guess."
James pounced. He crushed their mouths together in an eager, passionate kiss as he pinned Q's wrists to the bed. "I'm going to ravish you," he purred into his lover's ear. "With my lucky stick."
"You're damn right it's lucky," grumbled Q between battling mouths. "Damn lucky I let it anywhere near the temple of Q."
James snorted, laughing as he kissed down Q's chest. "Lucky me, lucky me. And a lucky boffin who gets to have me." He nibbled on Q's nipples while his hands kept his lover's wrists pinned against the pillows.
Q tried to maintain his focus. “Japan is a fascinating country in many other ways you know.”
Bond for his part, was doing his best to bring Q round to his direction of thought but knowing his Quartermaster the way he did, he knew he would have to work his train of intellect through to a logical conclusion. Bond’s mouth and tongue skirted across his belly and down towards the valley dividing thigh and groin. “I’m all… ears,” Bond’s muffled reply and tickling facial hair made Q laugh. “You certainly are,” he said with a cheeky grin. Bond bit down playfully at that. “Ow!” Q jerked his hips to the side and Bond rolled unresisting beneath him.
“As I was SAYING…” Q huffed, straddling his chest, palms exploring as spoke, “ not many people know that Samurai were extremely open-minded when it came to sex. Like the Spartans, Samurai not only accepted the presence of same-sex relations in their culture—they were encouraged. An experienced Samurai would take on the training of a youth. It was called wak—!” The word caught in Q’s throat just as Bond’s roaming hands, previously gliding up and down his thighs, found the target of his desire.
“—ashudo,” Q managed, sliding himself forward on Bond’s chest, seeking a firmer grip.
Bond smiled and obliged.
“Is that what we are, Q? Am I your warrior?” Bond asked, tipping his head with a wry smile and sliding Q’s body closer towards waiting lips. “And you, my youth?” he finished, before applying his eager efforts to the welcome task above him. Q leaned forward and closed his eyes, giving himself over to the warm welcome gently imposed upon him by the agent.
“You are my warrior, 007…” he whispered hoarsely. It was less than a minute before Bond felt Q melt pliant above him and he took control, wrestling the slender form back onto the mattress. The agent moved with gentle purpose. He spoke with reverence, eyes locked with the beautiful man beneath him.
“To die when it is right to die, to strike when it is right to strike,” Bond whispered against his lips.
“It is true courage to live when it is right to live, and to die only when it is right to die.” Q replied softly.
Oaths between men. Honour shared. Respect given. In the heat of battle , a man’s true victory is found in his willingness to surrender.
Q and Bond surrendered to each other, minutes later surrounded by the heat of their own battle, enveloped in the dying light of a Fuji twilight.
It was an anniversary that one warrior and his youth would long remember.