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For once Harry was enjoying a peaceful existence in the Great Hall: no duelling club where he learns he can speak snake, no ungodly "morale-booster" Valentine’s Day parties, and certainly no mountain trolls in the dungeon. It was just Harry, his toast, and orange juice. What more could a man want out of his life.
As Harry was enjoying the tanginess of Dundee’s finest orange marmalade, a resounding screech filled the halls. Ah that would be the morning post. Hundreds of owls descended upon the students of Hogwarts. Their little beaks gripping tightly to all size and manner of letters and packages. And to his surprise, Hedwig was a member of that crowd.
“Hedwig! What have you got there?” A package flopped to the table.
Harry tore apart the brown wrapping paper and string to find… the latest edition of the Quibbler. Harry threw his head back and groaned “Ugh who even signed me up as a subscriber!” How disappointing.
Hedwig ruffled her feathers and gave a hoot of indignation. “Oh, sorry girl, you’ll be wanting some of this for the journey” Harry smiled, broke off a piece of toast and threw it towards her.
“Ouch” Hedwig nipped his arm. “What was that for?” Hedwig nudged the magazine open to the first article and started incessantly pecking the page. The scene was attracting some rather puzzled looks. “Yes, yes, fine I’ll read it! Please stop” Harry pulled the magazine towards him as Hedwig gently nibbled his fingers in appreciation.
Written by Luna Lovegood? Since when did Luna write for the Quibbler? Then his eyes landed upon the title.
‘Hedwig’s Hoot: A never before seen interview with Hedwig Potter!’
And he spoke too soon. It seems Luna can speak owl.
‘Hedwig: The beloved owl and friend of the famous Harry Potter. An intelligent, loyal, and beautiful creature. And yet who can truly know their pet owl with the barbaric restrictions of language?’
‘Many will be familiar with her iconic snow white feathers gracing the beloved halls of Hogwarts. A comforting sight to many, I am sure. And I am happy to report that the owl-wizard language barrier is no more!’
‘Over the holidays, I was journaling details about the rarely seen but ferocious dabberblimps. During my investigations I came across their annually shed horn on the Winter Solstice. After mounting it to serve as a decorative piece alongside my father’s Crumple-Horned Snorkack horn, I discovered that it has the ability to translate an owl’s speech to the listeners native language. Absolutely fascinating! And truly a revolutionary discovery for wizard kind.’
And that sounds about right.
‘With this newfound translator I just have to interview the most famous owls across the wizarding world. And where better to start than our own Harry Potter’s Hedwig!’
Harry glanced up to see his bird seemingly rather proud of herself. She puffed out her chest and paraded over to the toast rack, giving Harry an encouraging hoot. With an arched eyebrow he continued to read.
‘Hedwig Potter, tell us, how does it feel to be Harry’s last remaining loving member of his family?’
Fucking hell start off light why don’t you.
‘I must say it is a privilege and a lot of responsibility. When at his aunt and uncle’s I’m the only friend and connection to the wizarding world he has.’
‘Do you enjoy delivering mail for witches and wizards?’
‘Very much so! I love nothing more than having the opportunity to stretch out my wings over an open sky. Delivering mail gives me freedom and a purpose. I have found so many new and wonderful places I never would have dreamed of visiting if they weren’t on my journey.’
‘Oooo very interesting. And which place is your favourite?’
‘I would actually have to say Harry’s dormitory in the Gryffindor Tower. Cliché, I know, but there’s nothing I love more than seeing him so happy at his true home surrounded by his friends and loved ones. He makes for a great companion, and I couldn’t ask for a better owner.’
‘I’m sure Harry would love to hear that you regard him so highly! What is your favourite snack?’
‘If I’m treating myself? I would have to say a lemming.’
‘Good choice, good choice, and how do you feel about your home in the owlery during term time?’
‘Hard to say. I do like my own space but at the same time it is nice to catch up with everyone. Plus, I can’t help but love hearing everyone’s gossip about who’s delivering what to who.’
‘Care to indulge us?’
‘Oh no I wouldn’t dare; Hermes would kill me.’
‘And one last question for you before I bid my farewell.’
‘Yes, fire away.’
‘Do you think use of this translator would overall be more beneficial or harmful for the relationship between wizards and owls.’
‘Definitely beneficial. I know so many owls who feel so overworked by their owners and really struggle to communicate that. So, I think it would improve working conditions. And I’m sure you owners already know, but us owls would love to have the ability to actually vocalise just how big a part of our lives you are. I’m sure each one of you will outlive us three-fold. But you are our lives. And I personally can’t think of another person I’d rather spend my days with.’
‘Wow what a powerful message. Thank you so much for your time, Hedwig.’
‘The pleasure was all mine’.
Upon finishing the article Harry looked up to see his bird happily munching away. What a silly idea to think that one of Luna’s fictional creature’s horns could translate owl. But it was a nice idea. Harry smiled softly to himself. I love you too Hedwig.