Chapter Text
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
One...two...three...four...
"Dazai-san!"
Five.
"Oh, Atsushi. Didn't know you've found my slacking-off corner. So, whats for me today? Did you just miss me or?~"
The almost childlook-boy got slightly startled with the usual quirkiness of his senpai, which he semed to never get used to. He shaked his head and hands like a kitten in the court, defending his reasons for why he had ruined the 'slacking off moments' for Dazai-san.
Though he wasn't sure why he was even nervous about it, he had a feeling that today, was one of those days. Days that the humorous spark in the bandaged man eyes was no more genuine.
October 26.
He remembered now. today's date.
"I-I'm sorry, Dazai-san. I was just taking a stroll, actually looking for that crep selling truck to get some for Kyouka, and i so happened to see you here...thought to say hi, 'cause...you know, you've been gone an entire day now. Last time you were gone a whole 24 hours, either you were getting tortured by Port Mafia or were plotting a rescue plan for the city without our constent! Also...-"
Atsushi cut himself off, hesitating before bringing those 'other' things up. not sure if it was for respecting Dazai, or his own mental health constantly worrying he might lose him. But Dazai chuckled lightly, those rare sights for anyone to see, and finished the sentence.
"Also, i could be drowing somewhere. or hanging, bleeding, poisoning and and and...phew, boring stuff. Good thing i don't do suicide alone anymore! Right? Anyway, lets get your crep already, that kid must be waiting for you. Not to mention, i also have somethings to attend to."
Dazai stood up as he carelessly pushed Atsushi forward by his hands on Atsushi's back, having a silly smile and closed eyes.
"O-oh! More shady-in-the-dark bussiness...w-well...i see! Would you like me to accompany you, Dazai-san? The weathers pretty cool and well... i dont have anything better to do, so..."
The pushing stopped. And as Atsushi turned to face Dazai, he saw the soft smile on his face. It wasn't reaching his hazle eyes and he didn't seem to care.
"Atsushi."
"Y-yes, Dazai-san?"
"I won't try anything. You can go back now, and tell Kunikida that i am alive...yet."
He added the last word with a joking tone, though it didn't make any of them laugh. Atsushi knew, that today was a special day. Not that good kind of special, but those who people at loss like Dazai-san would cherish to death. Thats why he was so insistent on going with him. Because he was afraid that Dazai would cherish the day so much, to the point he wouldn't wait for the death to come itself, but that he would run to it. like a stray dog chasing a food, left on the ground to rot. Too hungry to notice the smell.
"I trust you, Dazai-san."
He saluted more than needed, but shorter than always.
"I'll be off then, Dazai-san! Please, come back soon."
He was acting too formal. Was it because he was trying to also cherish the day with Dazai? Or that he was afraid he would go to the Lupin bar and just create a new suicidal method? Please. He atleast had two orphans trying to keep them from killing themselves OR each other, he didn't have time for being selfish. atleast not anymore. Also, not to mention if he died, there was no one cleaning the gravestone each monday. And, the cafe in the first floor of ADA, he owed them too much Jeez! Kunikida would sure be pissed if Dazai died without paying his debts first. He could clearly hear the lecturing, and the word 'irresponsible' with capital letters getting said over his grave. Nevertheless, even the mafia needed him, right? Without him, the ginger-chibi would be dead. I mean- using Corruption without his Nullified ability was a dead end (literally). Or aside from that, he could just drink so much after Dazai's death that he would eventually join him. Wether it was a 'celebration drinking', or an act of grief to his old partner, friend, rival, and...-
The thought crumbled with the sound of the kitten running the opposite direction. He probably realized Dazai was zoning out again and left soon enough.
No, he wasn't supposed to die today. But there was no promising tomorrow. After all, do people really need a strong reason, just to rest in eternal peace? He wasn't asked for consent when he was brought to this world, so why did everyone expected him to just accept a meaningless gift and live like he wants to be here? It wasn't that he didn't care about the people in his life, no, but he just didn't think he had any responisibility to just endure his unwanted life for them.
Just like how he never considered others before making decisions. And he had a long list of resume about that, too.
He just stood there, watching the boots ADA first gifted Atsushi still be sharp as ever, running until the trace of his tail-like-belt vanished. Huh...kids these days.
They are both growing to be better.
He glanced up the sky, a light breeze gently nuzzling against his hair and bandages, causing the freshly cutted arm sting a bit-- even under his bandages.
He smiled.
"Right, Odasaku?"