Chapter Text
Pinning to the fall the fault of your not own, to a brother perhaps not own either, and can’t really own anything in my life. It’s far from belonging to voluptuous birds, carnivorous not but word gentle may explain the situation. With bloodied head like skinned and wet, like under my blade the skin has slipped and gloves red, its head is. It is scavenger and flight, yes. Belongs to there, to the odour of death smelt from far away, rotting does not discontent it.
Praise be, praise be, it says when it smells rotting flesh, like soft and sweet jelly! What a treat, what a dessert! It smiles wolfish, sharkish, under full sun to stretch long wing. It is in the city, I can see it swooping down between tall buildings that weren’t there before. I am going to a film house which wasn’t there before, it is playing a movie I know, and I wonder if it is aware of my actions as I stare at the flashing screen.
I wonder if the children in the audience are small enough for it to pick up and no one would even notice. I think perhaps I wouldn’t do anything if it came for my head, though nested there perhaps might find in my matted locks. I don’t mind the blood, relish it in the doctor’s office, in funny plastic tubes, I’ll take it to feed it so maybe it doesn’t take any small children needlessly. But now I watch the film — I bought popcorn for it so I need to relish now this, no thoughts of blood when I cannot even access… “I love you.” says the girl in the film and I think she might just be stepping over the border! She’s really getting too close to the male lead I enjoy the presence of. You know, I know him, I’ve got posters of him in my room, so he knows me too from all the videos I watch of him. I really do smell something now though… and, not to my surprise all that much, bloodied head is not far behind me. It’s watching the film too with me.
Kids better watch out, me thinks. The film's words were untrue but profoundly dumb, dumbed to deaf and blind, like unable to think for itself, as predictable as that it will rain on the pavement one day. Dumbed, dumbed I walked out and I was angry at the girl for falling in love with the guy I have on posters, she really doesn’t know who she’s messing with! But I guess she at least knows his name, many I met look at me dumbfounded at mention of his name and know only the things everyone knows about him. It’s so infuriating, he is a man like God, like better than, but then again… would I want everyone to share the knowledge I have of him? My immense love would then not be so as special or different. Such as is true love for a God, very many only follow and know what many know and cannot either think for themselves like that film. Like as dull as a grain! As unthinking as gravel under my feet. Frustrated they be I don’t trip on their spikes so much as they wish to trick me, as they throw traps under my path home. Today they threw carcass on my way home, but well, when I had got there it was only bloodied head and stench of rot, guts all pulled out. “Thanks bloodied head,” I said quietly.
I went around to allow it to keep eating, and I got all home all right without stepping into the rot, which I don’t really mind all that much. I slumped onto the red couch and I reached up my arm to straighten the tape holding one of the posters of the guy. I fell asleep with him above me and felt the discomfort as couch was leather and sweat. I dreamt of smearing lipstick on the guys lips, but I wasn’t so much good at it so his teeth ended up all red, too. He looked real funny. I remember laughing and that laughter waking me up. I thought that this was more than a girl, like any person with well-kept hair and cover-ups, more than a hitman getting right on his first shot. And more than a bloodied head feasting with fellows to last for weeks. This was it! Yes, and anyway, he surely knows my name. Why, Solomon! Of course. Though bloodied head got to him long ago now, it doesn’t really matter. It only gives me the fate I look forward to when bloodied death falls upon me to tear and to chew because I know he shall be waiting and I at last will see into eyes for first time and he into mine and all questions answered and then all peace.
So carry on blooded head, carrion!