Chapter Text
“Alright ladies, party time’s over, let’s head home team!” Iron man shouted aboard the Avengers’ private jet.
After an intense night of partying, networking, and playing the social game with everyone, The Avengers will be going back home to New York. The Hellfire Gala was officially over, and Tony Stark decided to strike up a post-Gala pep talk with everyone. Minus Black Widow and Hawkeye, who were both asleep from exhaustion. There was only Cap and Thor whom last he checked, were awake and semi-lucid. Thankfully, the jet was on autopilot, so no one was piloting while drunk.
“So guys, what did we think of this year’s Gala? I mean, besides the getting-shitfaced-drunk and debauchery which I know some of you here LOVE, right Thor???” Tony winks at him.
Thor chuckles a bit in response.
“HA HAAA! The Odinson name NEVER loses a competition for drinking ale! I hath taken entire KEGS worth of the strongest that Krakoa could offer! I do not even feel a slight buzz, verily!” It is important to note that Thor stumbled all the way to his seat and is probably seeing quadruple by now.
“THAT’S THE MAAAAN! Alright alright, I love to see that everyone’s had their fun and had their fill, buuuut I’m talking about, like, our mission- yknow, a “time itself collapsing onto itself” sort of problem, yeah?” Tony replied. He tried his best not to drink too much. He could still recall a few things. “So, sooo, sosososo. Yeah. So I remember that uhh… I don’t remember, there was something with Dr Doom? Yeah? Fuck it, I probably told F.R.I.D.A.Y to record it. OH. OH YEAAAAH. ULTROOON.”
“OOOOOOH.” Thor replied, as if he discovered fire.
“Wait, Thor, is Cap awake?”
“Uhhh, I shall check…” Thor looked to his right.
Never mind. He was in the deepest sleep Thor had seen anyone have. Mouth open, drooling and all.
“He doth sleep soundly, doth he not?” Thor commented.
“Sleepyhead. Anyways, we can resume the details of it tomorrow. Uh, all we gotta know is that Bruce’s Hulking out led to the X-Men and us being on high alert, so we were able to scare Ultron off from party pooping the Gala. He was probably like: ‘BEEP BOOP. BIG GREEN GUY. CHANCE OF POOPING THE PARTY: 0.33%. WITH A 0.33% MARGIN OF ERROR. BEEP BOOP’. Serves him right.”
“I recall the analysis of thine automaton… URRRGH-” Thor cuts himself off by a huge burp he lets rip. “Apologies, apologies… it was mentioning an Ultron presence in Arrako?”
“Oh yeaaaaah. We gotta do something about that, like, soon.”
“You speak the truth, yes, yes. We will contact our fellow warriors and take the fight to him there. Innnndubitablously!”
“Yeaaaah, indoubitabedoubeelously, yeaaaah.” The drinking had gotten to their heads. “It’s almost like we kick so much fucking ass… anyways, Bruce is staying in Krakoa? We said it’s better he does to keep Ultron from thinking he could invade and snag Cerebro, right?”
“Indeed, it is a sound strategy. Frost shall also partake in the deterrence against Ultron with him.”
“Ooooooh, lovebiiiiiirds...”
“AHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, you would be a great jester for Asgard…”
“We should check up on him soon though... Also, no, your father would smite me.”
“Noooo, he would not… on second thought, he may.”
“I’d wager though, if Brucie’s socially awkward ass did make a move with Emma, he’d fumble. Maybe even slapped. No offense to him, but with Jolly Green and all, I think he doesn’t have a chance with her.”
“So we shall wager on this?”
“Yup! We’re on, baby!”
“Hm… I shall bet on nothing happening.”
“What??? Noooo, so you’re betting on them being professionally boring? No drama? No tension?”
“Indeed. It is the most likely option.”
A silence falls in place. For a while, there was nothing to talk about. As the jet had liftoff and was in the sky, Thor then thought of something…
He then raises an eyebrow at Tony. After a Gala like that, there was so much gossip to be discussed.
“Pfffft, so… THE BEAST IN BLACK AND THE SCARLET WITCH?????”
Tony is now choking with laughter.
“NAAAAAAAAAH, THEM??? HOW DID YOU CATCH THEM GETTING ALL WEIRD WITH EACH OTHER???”
“OOOH, I SHALL RECOUNT THIS GREAT TALE OF MYTHICAL PROPORTIONS. STAND READY!”