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Snowflakes danced through the air, alight by the street’s lamps, only to meet their demise on the asphalt ground; melting into puddles of slush. The early November snowfall had chosen a too-warm temperature to sustain the frozen water for long. Jeongguk snuggled closer to the cold window on his sill-seat, staring down the road as if waiting for something… or someone. It didn’t take long after the clock ticked past eleven, when a figure appeared on the sidewalk. Huddled into a black beanie and a stark white winter jacket, the young man walked at a brisk pace, black-gloved hands pressed to his face.
Immediately, Jeongguk sat up, concerned. The shaking of the stranger’s shoulders hinted at something far deeper than a simple gesture. He was crying.
See, when Jeongguk first noticed this handsome young man, summer had just started to fade, yellows, oranges and reds crawling across leaves to announce the start of fall. The sunset had passed a while ago and Jeongguk was watching the remnants of colours dragged across the sky like paint on canvas. Golden and pink hues tinted the city in pretty shades – and that was when Jeongguk had seen the most breath-taking human he’d ever been allowed to lay his eyes on. Blond hair bundled into a messy bun at the nape of his neck, large, black sweater draping across his torso and matching shorts to finish the look, along with a pair of dark sneakers. Black-framed glasses sat on his nose.
Mayhaps, Jeongguk’s jaw had fallen open, shamelessly staring as the man cluelessly walked past his apartment building.
When Jeongguk had sat there the next night, buildings backed by a faint orange glow, he’d seen the man again. And then again the following night. And then he’d started waiting for him, sitting there, staring in the direction the man came from each day. After a few weeks, Jeongguk had figured out that it must be the man on his way home after work, seeing as he consistently came from the same direction at the same time. Only on Saturdays and Sundays he wouldn’t show up, hinting even further at Jeongguk’s theory.
Now more than two months had passed and Jeongguk wouldn’t dare miss a night to make sure the man made it safely past his window. (He’d thought about approaching him, maybe even confirming that the man made it safely home, but he didn’t want to appear like a stalker. So he’d dropped the idea.)
But when the next day came and Jeongguk, half-asleep from his exhausting day at work, found the stranger crying again, worry suddenly jerked him awake. What happened? A week passed, each day filled with more tears, so once the following Tuesday arrived, Jeongguk put on a jacket, a hat and some green converse and took the elevator down to the lobby. He couldn’t keep watching this beautiful, pretty man cry for any longer. Over the weekend, he’d hoped that maybe whatever it was had resolved itself, but Monday came and went with another tear-filled walk home.
Glancing at his watch, Jeongguk noted that it was almost time for the man to come by, so he chose to sit on the bench not far across his bedroom window and waited. It didn’t take long for the sound of suppressed sniffles and the crunching of road salt to reach his ears, making Jeongguk look up. There he was. His breath caught in his lungs, because not only was he seeing the man up-close for the first time, but even with his eyes red and puffy, he was achingly beautiful. For a moment, Jeongguk forgot to move. Didn’t know how to.
The moment lasted long enough for the stranger to nearly pass him, not even taking note of the creep (Jeongguk) staring at him, when another sniffle finally spurred him into action.
“Sorry!” he called out, jumping from the bench. Immediately, the man startled, stumbling backwards before Jeongguk could barrel right into him. “Sorry, I– I live up there and I couldn’t help but notice you crying a lot lately.” Trying to overplay the pounding of his heart and the blood rushing in his ears, Jeongguk pointed towards his window on the fifth floor. “I just wanted to make sure that you, um, that you’re okay. May I walk you home to make sure you get there safely?”
Seemingly in shock, the man simply stared at him. Jeongguk did his best not to get distracted at the sight of the plush lips and heartwrenchingly pretty face. His fingers curled into fists to keep himself from wiping the still-steady flow of tears.
“Sorry?”
It came out hoarse and confused and Jeongguk debated regretting every choice in his life until this moment because he didn’t know how to explain himself better. “I, um. I wanted to make sure you get home safely. Crying can reduce your sense of awareness a lot and at this time of night and year it can become dangerous.” At this point, he felt like he was pulling words out of his ass. Maybe he should just go home and bury himself in his blankets to never resurface.
Swallowing, the beautiful stranger wiped at his face with his black fleece glove, still staring at him in quiet surprise, only to eventually give a small nod. “‘kay. Yeah. Why not.” Jeongguk’s ears missed the part where he mumbled ‘Can’t get much worse,’ to himself.
Surprised that he actually agreed, Jeongguk’s mouth parted. Then he quickly shut it, turning in the direction of the man’s home. “Alright, then let’s go!” It took the other a moment to collect himself before they finally started the walk.
It was…incredibly awkward. Neither of them spoke, Jeongguk unsure if it was too personal to ask of the reason for his tears, so he stayed silent. And he didn’t expect the stranger to speak up first. Though, at least the crying had ceased, so Jeongguk felt he had partially succeeded in his plan.
Ten minutes later, they stopped at an unfamiliar apartment complex, the man pulling out his keys when Jeongguk suddenly realised he didn’t even know the other’s name. He opened his mouth to ask, only to be interrupted by a quiet, “Thank you.”
Jeongguk smiled. “You’re welcome! See you tomorrow?” The words simply slipped out without him meaning to, but they were clearly the right thing to say when he got a nod in return. Tomorrow.
The next night, when the stranger showed up, Jeongguk was already standing up – the bench was freezing and he didn’t want to get sick. There were still tears in his face, but they seemed to be way less than before. Relief filled Jeongguk at the realisation.
“Hey.”
“Hi.” A flicker of something flashed across the man’s face, there one second and gone the next.
“I forgot to ask yesterday. I’m Jeongguk, ‘97. What’s your name?” Jeongguk fiddled with his jacket’s sleeves, watching the unreadable expression on the other’s face before he replied.
“Jimin, ‘95.”
“Oh, that means you’re my hyung!” he exclaimed, eyes wide. “Is– Is it alright if I call you Jimin-hyung?”
Jimin’s lips quirked up on one side. The sight made Jeongguk’s heart pound against his chest from the inside. “Sure, Jeongguk-ah.”
After that, they walked to Jimin’s home in silence, though it was much less tense than the day before.
Slowly, but surely, their nightly walks became routine. The fourth night, Jeongguk finally dared to ask what had been making Jimin cry so much, and the other had quoted issues at work. On the fifth, Jimin pulled out his phone and showed Jeongguk his phone’s gallery, shaking and scared of his reaction. Jeongguk tapped through two, three pictures, staring at the display of his hyung in flowery shirts and beautiful braids. – When he realised that the braid reached far down his back, Jeongguk’s eyes trailed to the hat firmly placed on the other man’s head, wondering how much hair was hiding underneath. One picture even showed him in a skirt.
“Whoa,” he’d breathed, meeting Jimin’s guarded eyes. “You’re so pretty, hyung.”
Confusion had settled across the man’s face, but he hadn’t reiterated and simply plucked the phone out of Jeongguk’s hands and continued their walk. It took a few nights for them to speak again, with Jeongguk wondering what he’d said wrong when the other man’s walls wouldn’t come back down. Eventually, Jimin told him of the cupcake shop he worked at.
He was in charge of marketing for two ajummas who had been friends for life and opened the shop with little knowledge of running a business in the first place. Everything had been great for a few weeks, he’d dressed up in his simplest clothes to avoid judgement for his feminine style preference at his workplace. Then the ajummas had found some of the pictures he’d shown Jeongguk in his gallery when he was showing them an idea for a post on social media and they’d cooed and insisted he looked so pretty and cute and that he should show up to work dressed in his usual style. Elated at the support, Jimin had taken the chance – but they’d dropped him in a bucket of ice-cold disappointment when they started laughing at him. It had been a joke, they’d said. He was a man, he shouldn’t be wearing a woman’s clothes. Jeongguk wasn’t a violent person, but at that moment, hearing Jimin’s broken voice as he confessed of the bullying he’d endured, he’d really wanted to punch those women. Who were they to hurt his hyung like that?
After that, Jeongguk put in even more effort to get to know Jimin better, to let him know that Jeongguk didn’t think any less of him – in fact, he wasn’t sure he could describe his feelings for the man as merely casual anymore.
— ◯ ☽ ◑ ● ◐ ☾ ◯ —
The night of the thirtieth of December had Jimin looking at an empty bench on the sidewalk when there should have been a Jeongguk-shaped human next to it. Now, at the verge of the next year, snow had piled on the sides of roads and on top of benches, lamps, hydrants, but that hadn’t stopped Jeongguk from showing up at eleven at night to walk Jimin home. Maybe he was just running late.
Wrapping his arms around himself, Jimin positioned himself next to the bench he’d hesitantly started referring to as theirs and decided to wait. He was a few minutes early today, Jeongguk was surely going to show up anytime now.
Seconds ticked by, turning into ten, fifteen, then twenty minutes. Where was he?
Jeon Jeongguk had shown up in Jimin’s life during one of his low points, insecure and ridiculed for something he’d worked hard to feel confident with. That night, when he’d simply popped up and asked to walk Jimin home, he was half-convinced he’d be dead by the morning if he agreed and not half as worried as he should’ve been. But the offer had been genuine and with the adorable smile adorning Jeongguk’s face as he suggested he return the next night, Jimin hadn’t found it in himself to refuse him.
As it turned out, Jeongguk was an unfairly adorable and chivalrous, handsome young man. He loved dogs, singing and worked at a restaurant that also had a fairly popular bar, though he usually worked the afternoons rather than the evenings. Jimin found it so easy to talk to him, especially after the declaration of war he’d made against a random cupcake shop he’d never even been to. And his puppydog eyes were a weapon to fear.
Another thing that Jimin had learned about him was that he was consistent to a T, never missing out on a night where he was supposed to walk Jimin home, or at least warning him beforehand if he couldn’t. Which was why he was convinced Jeongguk would show up. There had been no prior notice, no heads up that he couldn’t walk Jimin home today, so he waited.
And waited.
Eventually, the minutes flowed into an hour, then two.
But Jimin refused to give up. Jeongguk hadn’t forgotten.
Just when the end of the third hour approached, leaving Jimin shivering and freezing, there were footsteps rushing towards him from the direction of Jimin’s workplace. He turned around to find Jeongguk running down the sidewalk, red-faced and frowning with guilt. “Hyung! Hyung, you–” Whatever Jeongguk had meant to say, he was interrupted by the yelp he let out as he slipped on the ice, skidding the last few meters towards Jimin. “Ow.”
“Jeongguk-ah,” Jimin said, blinking in surprise at the man in front of him. Then he remembered himself, immediately reaching to help the younger up. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, don’t worry,” he quickly uttered, placing his hands on Jimin’s cheeks. His naked, freezing hands. But Jimin’s face was nearly numb from the cold, so he barely felt the touch. – Which didn’t mean the sudden proximity left him unaffected. Breath hitching, he stared at Jeongguk’s concerned face as he continued, “Hyung, I’m so sorry. I had to unexpectedly cover Taehyungie’s shift because his boyfriends surprised him for his birthday and I– I couldn’t let you know. I was going to apologise tomorrow, but… Why did you wait, hyung?”
Jimin couldn’t stop the smile spreading across his face. “Because I knew you’d come.”
Jeongguk’s face twisted, something embarrassed and adorable displaying on his features before he dropped his hands and placed his forehead on Jimin’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry for making you wait, Jimin-hyung.”
Automatically, Jimin wrapped his arms around the man. “It’s okay, you’re here now.”
“It’s late,” Jeongguk started.
Jimin hummed, pretending not to shiver as a wave of cold washed over him randomly.
“Your place is far,” the younger continued. Only ten minutes on foot, but for the sake of wherever Jeongguk was going with this, Jimin played along and nodded. “What if you walk me home tonight and then I’ll drop you off at your place in the morning?”
Surprised, Jimin pulled back to look at Jeongguk’s face. The man tilted his head, eyes becoming big and round and- Jimin shoved his hands into Jeongguk’s face, unable to handle the puppydog eyes at this hour. “Yeah, okay!” He paused, then added, a little calmer, “Okay.”
Jeongguk smiled, all teeth on display, making Jimin’s stomach swoop as the younger reached for his hand to drag him across the street. “Come on, hyung!”
Leading him inside, Jeongguk left Jimin at the entryway to put on some slippers whilst he disappeared into the apartment for a minute. Moments later, the man returned with a giant blanket in his arms, draping it around Jimin without a comment. “Jeongguk,” he laughed, but pulled the thick, fluffy fabric closer around his body, “Why?”
“You were cold,” the man explained, as if he was talking about the weather – which, well, he sort-of was. “Can’t have you getting sick on my behalf, Jiminie.”
Snorting, Jimin followed Jeongguk into the warm apartment, letting his gaze stray curiously across the place. On the left, the kitchen was built against the wall with a wooden table placed like one would a kitchen island, five chairs pushed around it with two standing by the wall. The middle of the room was marked with a circular rug, leaving enough space to dance, if one wanted to, and Jimin, studying Contemporary Dance at uni, could already see himself using it for those purposes in the future. To the right, Jeongguk’s bed was placed just a narrow pathway away from a window sill seat that was decorated with multiple pillows and a blanket. Opposite the bed stood a big flatscreen TV.
“I, um, I can take the floor if you’d like,” Jeongguk suggested awkwardly as if he’d only just realised the bed was the only place to sleep in his apartment.
“We can share the bed,” Jimin replied lightly, smiling at Jeongguk, whose ears turned bright red at the idea. Cute.
“Alright, if you’re okay with it? I can give you some more comfortable clothes for sleep.” Jeongguk was already moving towards the closet that Jimin had missed, standing against the wall, and pulled out a sweater and some comfortable pants from a drawer. Jimin accepted them with a quiet thanks. “You can change in the bathroom, it’s the only door in the hallway.”
A few minutes later, Jimin reemerged from the bathroom dressed in Jeongguk’s soft and warm clothes; blanket still wrapped around his shoulders. He’d had to roll the pants up a few times at the bottom to avoid tripping on them, but other than that, everything fit quite nicely. Maybe a little loose, but it wasn’t too bad. Jeongguk was already in bed, sheets pulled over his legs but not his upper body and Jimin headed for him, having almost reached the bed when he tripped over the edge of the blanket around him, falling on the bed. Reacting reflexively, he pushed himself up from the bed, hands placed by each of Jeongguk’s shoulders, effectively pinning the man to the mattress.
At the younger’s parted mouth and wide eyes, a starstruck look on his face, Jimin couldn’t hold himself back anymore. He leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to Jeongguk’s lips. When he tried to pull back, one of Jeongguk’s hands came up to his neck and pushed Jimin’s compliant head back down to another kiss. Their lips met again and again, tongues sliding into one another’s mouths and teeth biting down until quiet groans fell out.
A tug at his hair left Jimin to yelp in pain, pulling back far enough for Jeongguk to whine in protest, but he simply freed his hair from where the younger had started to lay on it and put it back into the messy bun he’d had it in before getting ready to sleep. As soon as it was out of the way, Jimin leaned back down to resume kissing the man, eventually moving his lips from Jeongguk’s to the other’s jaw and down his neck until he was mouthing at the edge of the man’s T-shirt. Not needing to be prompted, Jeongguk took the shirt off, pulling it over his head in one swift motion so Jimin could continue his trail of kisses right down the man’s chest. Before he could move past his joggers, Jeongguk suddenly turned them around, grasping at Jimin’s sweater until he could take it off, whining loudly as he chucked it towards the dining table.
Jimin shivered when Jeongguk’s hand met the tattoo on his ribcage, the man’s mouth latched onto his throat. “Gguk-ah,” he groaned when the younger scraped his teeth across his adam’s apple.
“Wanna make you feel good,” Jeongguk mumbled into the hollow of Jimin’s throat, then placed a kiss there, too. “Please, hyung.”
“Fuck,” Jimin cursed, and let him.
By the time they finally went to sleep, the city started waking up once more, office workers tumbling out of bed and getting ready for the day as Jimin and Jeongguk curled around one another, happy and content.
A shrill beeping woke Jimin from his slumber, making him groan in complaint. “Sorry, sorry,” a sleep-rough voice whispered next to his ear, body leaning across him before the annoying noise finally stopped. Relieved, Jimin blinked his eyes open, meeting Jeongguk’s next to him.
“Morning,” he grumbled, not convinced he didn’t want to go back to sleep. But the younger’s eyes were so wide and worried, Jimin forced himself to stay awake. “‘S wrong, Ggukie?”
“Do… You, uh. Please tell me you don’t want to go back to just being friends,” Jeongguk mumbled, gaze averted with Jimin’s attentive eyes on him.
Unable to help it, Jimin let out a chuckle. Then a giggle. Before he finally burst into a full-on belly-laugh. The pout on Jeongguk’s face made him try his best to finish laughing as soon as he could, but he still needed a while to calm down until he could only grin. “Don’t worry, Gguk-ah,” he reassured, moving so he was leaning above Jeongguk. Then he winced when a strand of hair tugged somewhere, using an arm to pull it all towards him to relieve the tension, wherever it came from. His hair tie must’ve disappeared somewhere between the sheets whilst they slept. With the pain out of the way, he moved closer to Jeongguk again, pressing a few kisses to the corner of his lips and along his jaw. “I’d love to be more than friends.”
Jeongguk smiled, wide and all-teeth. “Let’s go on a date, hyung.”
“Only if you walk me home afterwards,” Jimin replied, immediately receiving an enthusiastic, ‘of course!’ Giggling, he leaned down again, letting their lips meet and relishing in the way Jeongguk melted into him.