Chapter Text
I walked out into the pier before her, clearing the way for her subconsciously. I nearly tripped over some rope that had been sprawled carelessly over the boardwalk but managed to save myself before tripping and eating it. I finally found my boat, which looked much smaller compared to the others docked at the marina. “Here we are,” I sighed, stepping over the bow and into the cabin.
Cedar brought the snacks, as she always did for our boating trips. This time, she brought homemade strawberry shortcake, blueberry lemon cookies, barbecue chips that were specifically for me, and other assortments of delicious treats and snacks that could easily last the two of us a day out at sea.
“So, do you think we'll see any whales today?” Cedar asked, crossing her legs as she sat at the chair next to mine.
“Hopefully. Salmon activity has finally started in the Puget Sound, so our chances of seeing orcas are pretty high,” I replied. It was mid-July, so the orcas were finally starting to head up to Port Townsend.
“Nah, we don't have to worry, I don't think. The great Robin'll find the orcas, you always do,” Cedar shrugged, kicking off her muddy sneakers and resting her feet on the dashboard.
“You say that as if we haven't gone out at least three times a week during our sophomore year and didn't find a single orca,” I scoffed, beginning to gain more speed on the water.
“It's summer now, so that means more time out here to look! I can feel it, this is the year that we will find any kind of whale or dolphin,” She retorted, drizzling some of the strawberry sauce onto the shortcake. She had been getting better at baking by the day, ever since she started growing her own fruit in a garden behind her house. She made most of her things herself, which I'd always admired about her. She fixed her torn jeans with whimsical patches that always brightened my day. She even sewed matching sweaters for us, and somehow made them the most flattering, perfectly fitting and comfortable sweaters either of us had ever worn.
She lived in the woods surrounding town, and I had always lived near the harbor. She loved my house just as much as I wanted hers. My train of thought was interrupted when she shouted in my ear.
“Robin! Look! You found one!” She pointed out the window, standing up from the chair, beaming. Sure enough, when I went to look out to where she was pointing, there was a pod of orcas to the left of my boat. They were enormous and majestic, surfacing one by one for a breath of air.
My breath caught in my throat and I stopped the boat as fast as I could. I ran outside to the deck and leaned over the railing, watching them as they swam as if they ruled the ocean. “Oh my god,” I gasped, the cold, salty summer wind tugging at my jacket and nipping my cheeks.
“Woah…” Cedar whispered beside me, her blonde braids being picked up and whipped around by the breeze. “They're beautiful,” she exhaled sharply. The orcas slowly passed us, but the sight of such enchanting creatures was so stunning, we couldn't just walk back into the cabin and move on with our day.
“I… don't think I've ever felt so… I don't even know, that was insane.” I released the breath I didn't know I was holding in, leaning onto the railing.
“Me neither, I… I don't think that anything could ever beat that. And we got to see it together!” she shook my shoulders, smiling with a smile that showed so much joy.
“Let's get a picture, today is amazing,” she pulled out her camera, taking a picture of the two of us before facing the ocean again to snap some photos of the orca pod from afar.
I smiled back, her happiness has always been contagious. “Lemme see,” I pulled her close to see the picture.
“Nope, it needs to develop!” She giggled, holding the photo up, and out of my reach.
“Please?” I begged, falling back onto my heels. She gave in, handing me the picture. Whenever I saw a picture of myself, I immediately would dissect every part of my appearance, but this time, I did not dare to draw my gaze from her. She was radiant and glowing, her smile making her eyes squint so much, they were nearly closed. Her freckles made her green eyes pop in a way that made even my stomach flutter.
“You look amazing, woah!” She took the picture back and moved it close to her face, as if to admire all of my features.
“Thanks,” I laughed, shaking my head. Cedar had big, puffy braids down either side of her head and big curtain bangs to match, today, she had light blue ribbon braided into it. “You need to teach me how to braid ribbon in,” I mentioned, sighing.
“Of course I will, your hair might be just a tad short for braids like mine, though,” she smirked at me, flipping one of the braids over her shoulder. I also had big, but sort of curly hair, which was usually just shaggy and it went slightly past my shoulders, while hers could easily reach her mid-back. She had blonde hair that was reminiscent of a sunset over a field of golden hay when the sun hit it just right, and mine had been dyed in that “calico” style that had been trending a few months ago, and was already out of circulation and popularity.
“Ready to keep going?” I asked, pulling on a black zip-up hoodie that was certainly too big for me.
“Yup! Or, could we have some of the snacks I made?” She offered, following into the cabin.
“Okay, yeah, you've tempted me, let's do it.” I shrugged, moving to sit next to her cross legged on the floor. The food she laid out slid around as the boat rocked back and forth with the waves.
We ate and then continued with our search. We didn't find anything else that day, but it didn't stop us from getting a celebratory dinner.
We walked over to one of the many restaurants along the coastline. There were plenty of tourists this time of year, since it was kind of how the town kept running. The little cafe we went to served some of the best sandwiches in town, so we got our favorites and sat down at one of the tables on the porch that overlooked the ocean.
The sun began to set and dance on the water, the reflection making Cedar look ethereal. “Can we go over to your house tonight?” I asked.
“Yeah! Tomorrow we can make some charms and leave them around the woods. I was also thinking about making some birdhouses or something if you're up to it,” she said, taking one of the last sips of her drink.
“That sounds amazing, actually.” I smiled at her. I loved going to the forest she lived in. It had huge old growth pines and there was moss everywhere. It was an entirely different world that was just for the two of us
“Are you going to watch the jellyfish migration next week?” She asked me, slinging her bag over her shoulder.
“Are you kidding? It's my favorite part of summer. The summer kick-off is also a very fun party that I can't risk missing. I think we need to show people that we're still alive after barely being seen at school and then leaving immediately after.” I laughed.
“True, true. I'll probably make an appearance, so I guess I'll see you there,” she nudged me in the arm as I held the door open for her.
We walked back to my little old beat up truck, and once we reached it, she took her turn to open the door for me. I thanked her, before settling into the seat and clicking the door shut behind me. The car was filled with the scent of seawater and old air fresheners, a smell that had soaked itself into the upholstery over the years. The engine turned over a few times before actually starting, and the soft yellow lights on the cafe porch flickered as we began to drive away.
I caught a glimpse of her as I pulled out of the parking lot. She rested her head on the window, her breath making it fog up. The sunset reflected onto her, making her glow in a way that was almost ethereal. Her hair had fallen out of the braids throughout the day, and strands softly curled around her cheeks.
I cleared my throat, gripping the steering wheel a little tighter. She finally broke the silence, “Today was amazing. I’m so glad I got to see those orcas with you,” she beamed at me.
“Me too, it was awesome. I don’t think I’ll ever forget about it.” I responded, committing the day to my memory. The radio quietly played the same song I’d heard a hundred times, but I didn’t care enough to change it. The two of us stayed silent for the rest of the drive, not awkwardly, but peacefully. The coast turned to giant trees towering over us, locking together above us to create a cathedral-like ceiling. The stars began to create half the light that was guiding me down the road as I stole another glance of Cedar under the soft moonlight that painted her sleepy face in a pale glow.
Her house slowly came into view, with the trees and foliage that were one concealing it beginning to part. The engine slowed to a stop and she hopped out first, practically running over to my door to open it before I even got unbuckled. I laughed, taking her hand and thanking as I stepped out, careful to avoid the wettest puddles of mud.
We kicked off our shoes and laid them by the door before walking in. Her house was warm and welcoming, with browns, greens and intricate wood designs all over. There were so many plants inside that it almost looked like you hadn't even entered a house, and were still in the woods. Two dogs came bounding after us, followed by a fluffy cat.
“Ooh, hello Bilbo and Aragorn,” she said, shaking the dogs' heads as she petted them. “Oh, and hello to you, Pippin,” she remarked as the pet rubbed against her legs.
Her voice was smooth when she spoke to any animal, even the raccoons that would dig through her trash. It was calming and soothing. Part of me wished that she would talk to me that way. I waved to her mom, who was sitting in the kitchen, snacking on grapes as she read a book. We kept going until we reached her room.
The room had a stained glass skylight that Cedar made herself, along with circle windows and pillows strewn about the floor. She had a hanging chair that I had claimed after sitting on it every time I came over for years. She practically fell onto her bed, clearly exhausted. “Can you braid my hair again? I like sleeping with it up,” she asked, walking slowly over to her desk and wiping off her makeup.
“Yeah, sure,” I replied, taking my place in her chair. She walked over after doing her other nightly rituals. She sat cross legged in front of me, handing me a brush and a hair tie. I undid the loose braids she already had in, brushing over her hair gently. I did my best to not pull too hard, and to be careful about not being too rough with the brush. Her hair was long, and looking at it closer, it wasn't just blonde, but there were small streaks brown, what looked like white, and even some red. Once the braid was in, she thanked me and flipped it over her shoulder, leaving the back of her neck exposed.
“Do you wanna work on the charms tomorrow?” She asked, making me jump slightly as I realized that I had been zoning out for several moments.
“Oh, y-yeah, that'll be fun,” I responded, clearing my throat and trying to gather my thoughts again.
“Are you okay? You've barely talked all day, and you've been spacing out a ton,” she commented, turning around to face me.
“Yeah, I’m fine, sorry,” I laughed awkwardly, trying to brush it off. “I've just been really tired lately.” Which wasn't exactly a lie, I had been more exhausted than lately, probably since that day was my first day off in almost 2 weeks.
“Hm… okay…” she said, obviously not believing me, nor the excuse I had given her.
“Anyways, do you think you'll have a date to the jellyfish beach party thing?” I asked, desperately trying to change the subject.
“Probably not,” she laughed, “I haven't been romantically involved with anybody since like 7th grade, so I doubt that anyone will ask me.”
“Looks like we're in the same boat,” I replied, “Well, if we can't find anyone to go with, we could probably just go with each other.”
“That works for me,” she shrugged, moving to turn the lights off. I pulled a blanket over me in my makeshift bed next to hers.
“What are you doing? You're not gonna sleep on the floor, you’re gonna sleep with me,” she said, leaning over the edge of her bed. “Every other time you've come over, you've slept on my bed. What's going on, dude?”
I sat up, “I don't know, man, I guess I was just way too lazy to get off the floor,” I sighed, stretching as I stood up to sit next to her.
“There we go, now your neck won't hurt,” she smiled, patting me on the back before lying down.
My ears got red and my stomach churrned as I laid down beside her. I don't know why it felt so awkward this time, and I don’t know why I was so nervous. I laid with my back facing her, hiding my face with my hair, even though I knew that nobody could see me anyways since it was pitch black, with the only light being from the moon shining in from the skylight.
I fell asleep rather quickly, considering how nervous I was. The sun shone in through her windows, painting the room in pink and gold as Cedar slept next to me. The stained glass gave her room a beautiful hue whenever light hit it, bathing it in a rainbow of colors.
I sat up slowly, careful to not disturb her or her sleep. She's a very deep sleeper, so it wasn't likely that my shifting would wake her, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. I swung my legs over the side of the bed, got up and changed out of the pajama pants I borrowed from Cedar every time I slept over there at the last minute, and put on some shorts. I also slipped some boots over my socks before putting on my jacket and walking out the front door to sit on her porch and watch the sun rise.
The porch boards were cold and damp, as the morning air brushed against my legs. The woods were still half-asleep, the kind of sleep that was peaceful and sacred. The sky was barely turning pale blue now, the pink still making up the majority of the colors. My breath caught in my throat when I heard the boards creak behind and I whipped my head around to see Cedar standing there, with the braid I had given her completely fallen out. She stretched,
“Good morning, I thought I’d find you out here,” She said through a yawn.
“Good morning, did I wake you up?” I asked as she came to sit by me.
“No, I just noticed that you weren’t by me.” She shrugged, resting her head on my shoulder. “Has my dad gone to work yet?”
“Yeah, I think he left a little bit ago.” I answered, “Are you on pancake duty today?”
“If you want me to be, I can,” She moved her head off of my shoulder and I felt a ping of sadness.
“I love sunrises,” I exhaled, “It’s like the world hasn’t decided something to be wrong with it yet,” I laughed.
“Yeah, like it’s giving us a head start,” She smiled at me, the soft light bathing her hair and face in a beautiful gold. She stood up, the boards creaking under us. “Ready for some yummy food?”
“When am I not?”
“Good,” she beamed, “we should probably get started now, then. I don’t wanna have to fight the squirrels when I take out the trash.”
“Yeah, that doesn't sound great,” I snickered, following her into the kitchen. The kitchen also had huge windows and a sunroof, almost as if it used to be a greenhouse of some sort before being converted into a kitchen. The sunrise flooded the room with its colors, pouring in through the massive windows. Plants were everywhere, there were even flowering vines crawling up the detailed tile backsplash.
Cedar pulled out the eggs, flour, sugar, and a couple of other ingredients from the pantry and fridge. She began to whisk them together skillfully as I stood next to her, cutting some peppers and other vegetables to put in an omelet. Cedar and her dad had a couple chickens, a huge garden, a few cows, and three horses. They didn't have a huge field or anything, but it was a quaint homestead. Almost all of their food came from their garden, fruit trees, and animals, so everything she made tasted like heaven. She was beautiful when she moved like that, graceful and caked in the sunlight from the windows, so sure of herself and every movement she made. She wasn’t super skinny or delicate, or anything, like most people would expect a graceful person to be. She didn’t fit it into the wild beauty standards, but neither did I, and so we found the beauty in everyone and each other. But she didn’t need me to find her beauty for her, she was stunning, like a fairy or an elf, ethereal almost.
“Ready!” Her voice sang from behind me, and I swiveled quickly instinctively. She had snuck up on me, and I hadn’t noticed at all, being so lost in thought. “Let’s go sit at the table, I like the windows and plants in the dining room.”
I followed her after a brisk apology for being so in my head all day. She was right in liking the dining room so much, it really was gorgeous. “So,” she began, “Any plans for today?”
“No, not really. I was hoping to hang it with you again, but if you’re busy, I’m sure I can find something to do,” I replied, sipping the cup of tea she had handed me.
“Well that sucks, I was hoping you’d have something going on that I could tag along with you for. I don’t have any plans either,” Cedar sighed, picking at the waffles on her plate.
“We could head into town and just… loiter… or something,” I shrugged, beginning to eat my own breakfast.
“Well, that’s exciting,” she smirked, rolling her eyes, “I think I want to spend my day frolicking in the woods, what about you?”
“That does sound lovely, I-“ I began, getting interrupted by a ringing phone.
Cedar groaned, begrudgingly getting up from her chair and walking over to the telephone. “Hello?”
I listened intently, picking out little parts of the conversation and attempting to piece it together, to minimal success. Eventually, she came back, exhaling sharply.
“That was Brock,” she said, tossing some grapes in her mouth, “He wants to know if I wanted to go swing dancing with him tonight.”
My stomach dropped, and I don’t even know why. “Well, what’d you tell him?” I asked nervously, fidgeting with the cup of tea.
“I told him that I’m going with you and that we were gonna meet up with some other people from school, so I guess we have plans now.”
I was relieved, until I had fully processed what she told me. “Wait, I literally can’t dance, I’m gonna humiliate myself.”
“Don’t worry, we have plenty of time to practice,” Cedar waved her hand, her confidence was infectious, “Besides, nobody else will be able to dance, it’ll be a room full of gangly teenagers with no sense of rhythm whatsoever, I doubt anyone will notice you specifically.”
“Sure, sure, but you are literally the most graceful person I’ve ever seen, there’s no way I’d be able to keep up with you,” I snickered.
“Nah, you’ll be great. Besides, as I mentioned before, we can practice,” she said it so casually, while my mind reeled at the thought of her body being close to mine. “But also, you’ll probably dance better than 50% of the people there. Remember our old performances for your mom?”
“You do have a point,” I smiled. We continued to fill our time doing pointless tasks, purely to waste time. I was trying my hardest to put off practicing as long as possible, terrified of embarrassing myself in any way in front of her.
The afternoon sun filtered through the leaves, casting dappled patterns across the worn wooden floorboards of the old cabin where we’d retreated to escape the buzz of the town. Outside, the woods stretched endlessly, a green sea whispering secrets in the breeze. Inside, the air was thick with a quiet anticipation neither of us quite dared to name.
Cedar stretched on the couch, her fingers absently tracing the stitching of the upholstery on the armrest as she glanced at me. “So,” she said, a mischievous smile tugging at her lips, “about this swing dancing practice… you didn’t think I wouldn’t notice you constantly putting off dancing, did you?” She raised an eyebrow at me. “Should we start with the basics, or do you want me to sweep you off your feet?”
I laughed nervously, feeling the familiar heat rise to my cheeks. “Just the basics, thanks,” I said, though my eyes lingered a moment too long on the way her tan skin caught the light, the curve of her neck just visible beneath the collar of her shirt.
She stood suddenly, a spark lighting her eyes. “Come on, then. Stand up,” she challenged.
I hesitated, as any normal person would, I presumed, but the warmth in her gaze was impossible to resist. I rose slowly, feeling awkward and self-conscious, but Cedar’s smile was encouraging, patient even.
“Okay,” She said, stepping closer, “first, you put your left foot forward, this this.” Her hand brushed mine as she demonstrated, sending an unexpected shiver up my arm. “Now, put your right foot back. Easy, right?”
“Sure, easy,” I scoffed, trying to match her confidence, but my voice wavered.
She laughed softly, the sound wrapping around me like a gentle breeze. “You’re doing great.” Her hand lingered on mine, warm and steady. “Here, let’s try practicing the way we’ll dance with other people tonight.”
Carefully, she guided my hands to rest on her waist and shoulder, her body close enough that I could feel the steady beat of her heartbeat beneath my palm. The space between us seemed to shrink, and my mind couldn’t stop reeling about wrong it was to feel like this. She had guys she liked, I shouldn’t be feeling so… friendly with her, despite the fact that we had grown up together. It would hurt her, and me even more, since surely, our friendship would end if she found out.
“Just follow me,” she whispered, her breath brushing against my ear, and every thought in my mind left.
I swallowed hard, trying to focus on the steps, but all I could think about now was how her eyes held mine, how the faint scent of pine and lavender elated me. My heart thudded loud enough that I was sure she could hear it.
We moved together, tentative at first, then with growing confidence. The awkwardness gradually melted away, replaced by a rhythm that felt infinitely more natural than any other time I had danced with anyone else at things like school dances.
“See?” Cedar said, her voice soft but triumphant. “You’re a natural.”
“I don’t know about that,” I murmured, not wanting the moment to end. “I think I’m just trying not to mess up in front of you.”
“Psh, don’t worry, you could never embarrass yourself in front of me. We were best friends in middle school, nothing could ever be more embarrassing than that. For either of us.”
She rested her head in the crook between my neck and shoulder. Her breath was comforting, and fleeting. She groaned, nuzzling into my neck as if she was a fox trying to burrow into a den. “I’m tired,” she sighed, swaying slower with me now. “I don’t really wanna go dancing.”
“W-we don’t have to, you know.” I cleared my throat, my stomach twisting into knots at the sudden contact.
“I know, but I’d feel bad after telling Brock that we’d go.”
“Eh, I guess,” I sighed, exasperated.
“What about a movie? That sounds way more fun than dancing.” Cedar suggested, nudging my arm.
“Oh my God of course,” I replied, grinning like an idiot.
”Pick me up at 7, we’ll go see whatever they’re showing then, deal?” Cedar beamed, looking up at me through long lashes.
“Deal.”