Chapter Text
Having nine siblings is a blessing and a curse at the same time, you learned as much throughout your twenty-one years of living inside these forsaken walls. You are number five, the middle child and because of that you have one mature advantage: being looked over most of the time. Your older siblings Adelheid, Baltram, Christel and Domink are all the perfect examples a family of high society could wish for. You on the other hand have proven to be a disappointment, more or less.
Your first failure, in the eyes of your parents, was to insist on being in the military. After the fall of Wall Maria, you felt the need to give something back to humanity and it was not gonna be the weapons your father managed for the king and the military. You enlisted in the 103rd Trainee Corps when you were eighteen, promising you would of course choose the Military Police, like your older brothers. A bland lie, but they believed you. Your mother was more than just disappointed. She made plans to marry you off as soon as possible, like your sister's, so you would become a proper woman of Mitras.
“Whatever. I am sure you will find a suitable Lieutenant or better yet Commander to get married to,” she said, like it was the only reason for poor you to join them. Doesn't matter now, the moment you got ranked second place, something you are not proud of since first place is the only acceptable option for your family, you decided to do something unheard of. Something that even shocked your comrades and superiors: you, a literal lady of nobility, chose the Survey Corps.
To say your family was furious would have been an understatement. When you returned home, right after your first expedition, the first thing Mrs Esther von Castel did was to slap you square across the face.
“Stupid! Stupid girl, you absolute disgrace-” You even had to shield yourself from the punches that followed, crying pointless apologies. Your father was the one to stop her from doing further damage, insisting they all were to sit down and discuss further matters over dinner. Even your older brother Baltram, already ranking as a Captain, decided it was necessary to have a say in the matter.
The dinner was the most unpleasant thing you have ever experienced in your life, even stable studies in the scouts regiment were much more of a blessing. Adrian, your father, gave you an option: return back to Mitras after five years of serving for the corps and marry an honorable man of your choosing.
“Why would I do that, father?” You dared to question over a glass of wine in her hand, her body hugged in the strict uniform of the military with the wings of freedom stitched above her heart.
“Considering the shame you brought to our family, I'm surprised you even dare to ask that, sister,” Baltram hissed, the disappointment clear.
Your father then threatened something you couldn't ignore; your freedom.
“Have it your way. But know that if you choose to decline my grateful offer, I won't hesitate to lock you in your room and throw away the keys.” That was that and you had no other choice but to agree to his terms, knowing exactly that he would very much do so.
All this happened two days ago and your heart still fills with dread at the mere thought of it. You tell yourself that it was not all too bad. Five years is a long time, especially in a regiment that collects bodies like others collect stamps. Perhaps you would die on an expedition and if not you would at least be able to marry a man of your own choosing. That is if your parents agreed to him.
“I am surprised your parents didn't even applaud you on your first mission,” Nifa utters, pulling you out of your slumber. She sits across from you, eating breakfast together in the mess hall, her voice lowered so no one would overhear your delicate conversation.
“I knew they wouldn't. They didn't even care that I came back unharmed and even killed a titan by myself,” you answer and take a spoon of your porridge with a solemn look on your pale face.
“I don't get your parents,” is Nifa's only response. You can tell that she is holding back, but wants to be polite about it. You don't respond to the ginger haired, instead you let your tired eyes wander through the crowd. Your new comrades appear happier after you last saw them the week before, the week of the 48th expedition. The loss of their friends in battle against these beasts has left a noticeable hole in their middle, yet it seems to tighten. Their conversations are light and even a couple of laughter ring around them.
“How was your weekend off, did you enjoy it?” you ask, changing the topic easily as you put on a warm smile. Nifa nods her head in excitement, instantly starting to speak about her time at the lake with her parents and little brother, but the announcement of no other than Commander Erwin Smith stops not only her, but the others mid conversation.
The Commander is a man of tall stature, with perfectly cut blonde hair, that flatters his sharp features and striking blue eyes. A funny thought crosses your mind as you suppresses a grin. You know that the Commander too comes from wall Sina and follows a high position in the military. Yet Mr and Mrs von Castel would not be pleased if you, their insolent daughter, was to marry him. It's not like you are interested in him, no, he strikes you too much as a narcissist, yet the thought purely amuses you.
“Soldiers, comrades. I am glad to see you have enjoyed your well deserved days off. The last expedition unfortunately forced us to restructure the squads.” Murmurs break through the hall at the announcement, making you raise her brows in surprise. Sensing the reaction of the others, this decision is something new, something unique. Perhaps it's for the best, the squads count uneven numbers now and even some of their leaders and higherups have found their end out there in Maria.
“Find yourself at the yard after breakfast, further plans will be announced there,” the Commander demands, turning his back to his crowd of soldiers. Their sun breaks through the narrow windows, allowing faith light to illuminate his towering shadow following him. Erwin Smith might hold the title of a Commander for a short period of time, but his charisma and extraordinary leadership might have been the reason the Survey Corps has found more popularity with the common folk.
You remember hearing his speech at a ball years ago. It was what truly supported your decision to follow his cause. She couldn't just lean back into your silk cushions and watch the people suffer and starve.
“We should make our way to the yard. I really wanna be in the front row!” Nifa cheers in excitement. You can't blame her, Nifa's current squad is nearly whipped out and your dear friend has longed to be part of Section Commander Hange's squad for so long.
“Yes of course!”
Soft wind blows through the garden, a warm spring breeze that mixes with the smells of blooming flowers and the distant smell of the barns. You stand frozen in the first row, Nifa at your side, her green eyes wide with interest.
Before you, atop the wooden dais erected at the edge of the courtyard, stands Commander Erwin. The afternoon sun catches the crisp lines of his pristine green cloak, casting an imposing silhouette over the gathered ranks of the Survey Corps. Arrayed in a rigid, imposing line directly behind him stand the Section Commanders, their expressions unreadable, their postures immaculate.
The low hum of hushed whispers fades into absolute silence the moment Erwin raises a single gloved hand.
“As I mentioned earlier, the heavy losses of the 48th Expedition have forced us to adapt,” Erwin’s deep, resonant voice carries effortlessly across the silent yard, cutting through the crisp spring air with absolute authority.
“We cannot simply fill the gaps left by our fallen comrades with the same outdated tactics. To survive outside these walls, the Survey Corps must evolve.”
He shifts his weight slightly, blue eyes scanning the front row of soldiers, momentarily brushing over you and Nifa before moving onward.
“To optimize our efficiency in the field, we are overhauling the fundamental purpose of our core sections,” Erwin continues, his tone measured and precise.
“Going forward, Section Commander Miche will oversee the primary Titan Execution units, focusing on high-density combat zones and raw offensive power. Section Commander Hange will spearhead the newly established Titan Science Division, dedicating their efforts to the research, capture, and live-study of Titan biology.”
Nifa nudges your elbow subtly, her breath catching in her throat as she stares up at Hange, whose eyes are practically glowing behind their thick spectacles. You give her hand a light, reassuring squeeze.
“Furthermore-” Erwin’s voice draws the crowd's focus back to the center.
“-the Command Section under my direct authority will handle long-range formation design, overarching strategy, and scouting map development. Every unit will now serve a specialized, singular purpose.”
A ripple of quiet tension washes through the ranks. Restructuring meant new orders, new tactical responsibilities, and above all, new leaders.
“In addition to these structural shifts-” Erwin announces, his gaze sharpening.
“-Captain Levi has officially been promoted to lead a newly formed, elite branch: the Special Operations Squad.”
The title sends a faint shiver through the crowd. Beside Erwin, the short, raven-haired man steps slightly out of the shadow of the taller superiors, his dark eyes narrowed in their usual heavy, unimpressed scowl.
“This unit will operate under Captain Levi’s direct command,” Erwin explains, his voice leaving no room for debate.
“Its unique purpose is the tracking, engagement, and neutralization of Abnormal Titans, as well as securing critical intelligence in uncharted territory. Because of the extreme risk and specialized nature of these missions, Captain Levi has personally handpicked every single member of this new squad.”
Erwin steps back half a pace, folding his hands neatly behind his waist. “Captain. The floor is yours.” Your heart gives an unexpected, nervous thump against your ribs. Levi takes a single, deliberate step forward to the edge of the wooden platform, a small leather binder clutched in his gloved hand.
You watch him step up to the edge of the platform, the familiar knot of apprehension tightening in your chest.
In your short month with the Survey Corps, Captain Levi has felt less like a man and more like a force of nature. You have seen him in action, a lethal blur of steel and absolute precision, cutting down Titans with a cold, terrifying grace that left you breathless on the field. You deeply admire his unwavering dedication to humanity, the brutal weight he carries on his shoulders without ever flinching, and the quiet reverence he shows for his fallen soldiers.
Yet, that admiration has always been kept at a safe, guarded distance. His sharp, unyielding demeanor and notoriously biting tongue have kept you thoroughly intimidated. You have seen seasoned veterans wither under his glare, and as a raw recruit who has only been here four weeks, you have deliberately avoided his path. He may be small, but he certainly makes up for it with harsh words and punishments that leave strained muscles for days.
“Well, let's get this over with.” His voice does not fit his looks at all, you have noticed that before. Captain Levi looks at you, face shaved clean and hair cut sharply. He looks young, perhaps about your age, but his voice is deep and his words major. You have always expected him to be wall Sina, since he has a nick for cleanliness and takes pristine care of his looks.
“After I read your name, I want you to step out of line. We'll meet in front of my office for a quick briefing.” He opens the black folder, clearing his throat as his eyes scan over the first line written on his page.
“Lieutenant Eld Jinn.” A man you have seen before salutes and moves out from behind you, his blonde hair bound into a bun. You are certain Eld has been in Levi's prior squad too, he is one of the soldiers with the most Titan kill squads in the whole regiment.
“Sergeant Gunther Schultz.” Somewhere in the back a brown haired man about Eld’s age also salutes, walking after the Lieutenant at a fast pace. They seem familiar with each other.
Levi then scans the page again, making you wonder if he is bad with remembering names.
“Private Oluo Bozado.” The soldier besides you stiffens, his breath hitching in his throat as he salutes.
“Sir, yes sir!” He answers in surprise,making his comrades giggle a little as he leaves formation with literal tears in his eyes.
“Private Petra Ral.” You carefully turn your head in hopes to see the girl. She has been in the Trainee Corps a year before yourself and you feel happy for her, smiling as you see her delighted expression.
Captain Levi pauses for a second, his eyes gazing over the ground with a frown you could only describe as annoyed.
“And last but not least-” as his eyes stop roaming the crowd they finally land on you, making goosepumps spread over your arms as a cold shower of panic hit you.
“Cadet Elise von Castel.”
Your mouth opens, then shuts and you blink multiple times before Nifa smacks you out of your blank trance, her hand pushing your shoulder.
“By the walls, move,” she hisses. At first you believe her to be angry, but then you see the genuine proud grin spread over her freckled face. And you do as she demands, quickly saluting your new squad leader on the stage as you make your way out of the strict formation, nearly dripping over your own feet. Surprise, then happiness warms your chest as you can't help but to smile up at the man.
But Captain Levi merely scoffs at you and turns around, walking back to the other higher ups to make space for Section Commander Miche. You gulp, feeling a little defeated by the negative reaction of your superior. You knew he wouldn't smile back, but you did hope for approval. Instead you got scoffed at.
Choosing a fast pace to catch up with your new team mates, you follow after them to the Captain's office.
“Hey! Remember me from Trainee Corps?” The cheerful voice of the ginger instantly brightens your mood, as you nod your head in recognition.
“Of course, it's so good to see you again.” The two of you easily drift off into a lighted conversation, talking about how great of an opportunity this was to the two of you.
“Hmph. I do wonder why he chose her. Isn't she, like, from a noble family or something,” Oluo numbers under his breath to Gunther, sideeying you judgmentally with raced brows. His words feel like a stab to your heart, but you quickly regain your slightly slumber posture and cross your arms.
“Clearly he noticed me during the last mission. I did in fact slay a titan and saved two of my comrades,” you state, not able to help yourself from avoiding arrogance seeping through your voice. Gunther and Eld let out a snigger at that.
“That’s the bare minimum, Princess.” Petra huffs annoyed while you bite your tongue to stop yourself from insulting Oluo.
“Don’t be so mean to her! She was ranked highly and did in fact do very well. Stop questioning the Captain's decisions.” Muttering your thanks, you try to ignore the way the men of your squad smile in amusement. You have been confronted about your social upbringing before and you can't blame them, but it still hurts that your abilities are always reduced to your status.
Inside the building the five of you wait for your Captain to arrive. While the others casually lean against the wall and chatter about the new developments of the corps, you quietly stand beside them, body still a little tense. Even with Petra being kind to you, you still feel like an outsider. Eld and Gunther, as it turns out, are good friends and joined the Corps together. Oluo is just one year older than Petra, even when he appears older, but has been placed in a squad with her before. And they are all defined by one thing: numerous titan executions. You try to not get Oluo's words into your head, but it still makes you wonder: “why me?”
“Good, none of you got cold feet.” A voice breaks through the hallway, making the laughter of your comrades stop. All of you freeze in spot, instantly moving straight and saluting to your new squad leader, humanity's strongest soldier himself.
“Tch. Relax. We have a lot to discuss,” he demands, pulling a key from the inside of his uniform to unlock the door to his office. You let your hands fall to your side, but are unable to relax your posture. Just the sight of him makes your heart jump and it's not the good kind. You feel fear and dread tightening in your chest as you follow last into his office, closing the door behind you.
You should be happy and feel honored, yet the panic of not being able to meet his standards is too high. Letting yourself take in the surroundings of his office, a strange image unfolds in front of you. This room, tiny as it is, is perfect. Immaculate, no sign of dirt or glitter whatsoever. It smells clean, freshly of soap and gives off the image of not being lived in. Your mother would be jealous.
“To make this work everyone of you will follow a specific task. There of course will be room for further exploration in the field, but I expect you to follow your roll in this squad,” Captain Levi explains, sitting down onto his leather chair as he watches you closely and you can't help but feel a shutter breaking your stiff composure. Something must be wrong here, you feel like you shouldn't even be here.
“Eld shall be my first Lieutenant and Deputy, whenever I’m not around you will follow Elds command directly,” Captain Levi reveals. It's not a surprise at all, Eld Jinn had such position before, he was recommended to Levi and is nothing but competent in this position. You're surprised he wasn't promoted to squadleader yet.
“Thank you sir! I'll truly honor your decision.” The blonde salutes, smiling softly,but proud.
“Guther. You'll have the duty navigation, think you can do that?” Schultz looks up delighted, copying Eld's salute.
“Of course sir!” What you don’t know about just yet is Gunther’s talent with navigation. He was the one responsible for map sketching during the latest expeditions too and has a talent for memorizing directions.
“Good. Petra, you'll be in charge of titan spotting, signalizing and keeping track of abnormals.” At his words a hint of jealousy hits you and you can't help but to feel sad that this specific position wasn't given to you.
“Oluo, I want you to be our rearguard,” Levi asks, making the man who awfully looks like a copy cat of Levi himself, nearly cry in excitement.
“Yes sir!” Oluo's salute is absolute and full of determination, he appears to be the Captain's number one fan.
Your eyes shift with desperation from Oluo back to your Captain, waiting with anticipation and patience for the delivery of your roll. His eyes meet yours and then- nothing. Silver spikes are being formed into slits, as he collects a paper from his shelves, a training plan and stands up, without saying another word about your role.
“Were done here, meet me at the training fields by the titan simulator.”
Feeling the eyes of your comrades on you makes you feel sick and you can't help yourself but to form your hands into fists in a desperate attempt to feel something else, other than hurt.
“But-” you starts, though Levi instantly shuts you up. But not just with his harsh words that bite like needles into your heart, but also with his deeply frightening expression.
“What? Talking without permission, such an insolent brat.” Your breath hitches in your throat at his harsh tone, making your body instantly go regid. The moment he looked at you with such hatred, you knew something was terribly wrong and his behavior now only proves your assumption. Did your Commander not explicitly say that the Captain has handpicked his members?
“I merely wished to know my role in your squad, Captain,” you dare to say, even after he gave you indirect order to not talk without permission, but something inside of you snapped, you needed to know your position to follow orders and meet expectations. The black haired frowns at you, tired eyes glaring you down like you ate nothing but dirt underneath his feet.
“Yeah, wanna know your role in my squad? I thought it was pretty obvious.” Levi walks around his desk, Petra making place for him hurriedly, probably scared she might only add fire to the flame.
“Since your dear daddy was kind enough to gift us new gear and funding for weapon development, your place also had to be rearranged. We can’t have you dying in duty, so your role is simple-” he closes in on you, forcing you to take a step back.
“Stay back, don't get hurt and be a good little assistant. You'll be able to make that, won't you Princess? Or is that too much to ask from the likes of you?”
Lips pressed down into a thin line, you feel your cheeks redden at the realization. Your father rigged everything just so you won't die and break the deal.
“No, sir,” you answer with a shaky voice and blink away the salty tears in your eyes that threaten to fall. Levi seems satisfied with your meek response and walks past you, purposely ramming your shoulder rudely in the process.
“Well see how you do in training, maybe I'll allow that you accompany us to a mission one day.” And with that being said, Levi walks out of his office, his squad directly on his feet. You on the other hand stay back for just a second, trying to regain the breath you have been holding.
Petra stops in her pace, looking back at you with pity that makes you sick.
“I’m sorry that is happening to you,” she declares, her voice steady as she gestures her way.
“You should really come though. Don't wanna anger him more, right?” Petra tries to make the situation lighter, awkwardly laughing your way. You decide to move, agreeing with you as you follow after her. The green cape around your shoulders feels heavy now, a pressure forcing you into a smiling posture as you merely watch your boots walk over the ground.
Disgrace, you are nothing but a disgrace.