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Language:
English
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Published:
2026-08-08
Updated:
2026-09-07
Words:
3,962
Chapters:
44/?
Kudos:
2
Hits:
65

GSG:P&P (Gunslinger Girl: Paychecks & Paperwork)

Summary:

OSHA regs are written in blood, but Social Welfare Agency regs are written in tears. Won't anyone spare a thought for the people who have to support our favorite murder midgets?

Notes:

Anachronistic / wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey. If it exists, no matter the year, it might show up in the story. GSG with Slack, 3D printers, VHS tapes, IRC, and whatever else is useful or funny.

Mnemonic / Referential OC Names - Some original-characters names are chosen for their association with their role in the story. Hans Gruber is the Armourer. Walter O'Reilly is the Procurement Officer. Carol[sic] Shelby from Motor Pool. They're not the actual characters/people. Carol's name is deliberately misspelled because I don't want this mistaken for RPF. Besides, these names are just easier to remember than Gianluca is the Armourer, Ignazio is Procurement and Evelina is.. who is she again?

Rule of Fool - if it's funny and it makes the situation worse, it breaks the science barrier. Deal with it.

FWD: is Re: - Because real Outlook gets confused when you reply to a forwarded email, I'm just treating forwards as "user manipulates the To: and CC: fields manually to get the new person in the right place." Then again, real Outlook doesn't collapse "Re: Re: Re: Re:" subjects down to "Re(4):" for ease of reading and understanding how deep and undying some of the email threads get.

Chapter 1: Reminder to Submit Entertainment Media for PRIOR Review

Chapter Text

From: Dr. Bianchi, Section Two Medical Services Team
To: Section One
Subject: Reminder to Submit Entertainment Media for PRIOR Review

Folks,

I appreciate your enthusiasm in sharing your favorite films and television series with our young charges, but please remember that Condixionie, in high doses, leaves them HIGHLY SUSCEPTIBLE to irrational influences.

Please do not share entertainment media with them directly. Forward any recommendations to Medical Services for review, and we will distribute approved material upon completion of suitability review.

Additionally, please be advised that we have reviewed and mitigated the knock-on effects resulting from Aliens, Bubblegum Crisis, Dirty Pair, Gunsmith Cats, and Riding Bean.

Lastly, whoever gave Claes the first season of Hanna should know better. Fortunately, Medical Services intercepted the material prior to viewing.

--
Thank you for your cooperation.

 

Dr. Bianchi

Section Two Medical Services