Archive of Our Own

Cyan groaned; waking up with a throbbing headache was not part of his plans for today, but for some reason, it wasn't because of Algiz or anything protruding in his mind. So what could it be? He just had a check-up with Livio because Mael insisted, and, upon seeing him throbbing, Livio said he was perfectly healthy.

Cyan groaned as he sat on a rock overlooking a lake. This place is usually a water supply source for many people, although there was an incident of pollution a few days ago; it has long since been resolved. He sighs as he looks around. This place is calming. He had always liked nature and the animals, though thinking of animals always reminded him of why in the world does he not have a corekin.

Sometimes, he wonders if he is even good enough. he has made it into this world for a short time only; there is so much to process and understand.

Is he even good enough?

What if he's useless?

He ponders internally as he gazes down at the water...but what he sees makes him freeze.

There. Staring back at him is not his reflection. well

It was him

But different. The cyan staring back at him has more dull eyes with a white hood surrounding his body, with poppy flowers as accessories around his body, and seems to have some semblance of rotting fingers? Wait, Who is this-

"Do you really need to question yourself? Do you not think..that what you have now..is already far more capable of what others can do?"

The voice of the other cyan sounded almost hollow...as if he was barely tethered to this world, or is it because of the lake echoes?

Nonetheless, Cyan thought he was dreaming again, or in his realm; however, once he felt how real everything was. He realized this isn't a dream nor a realm. This is happening in real life.

"I can see you pondering. Perhaps the identity of who I am? Or maybe thinking this is all a dream? I assure you. This is none of the sort. I feel a sense of relief knowing I get a chance to talk with myself in a sense. One...that isn't like I"

One that isn't him?

What is he talking about?

"What do you mean one who isn't like you?"

Cyan himself asked the him who's in the water, who looked a bit skeptical about whether he should tell or not...but ultimately relented when he met his original version with tired, dull eyes.

"Because I'm a you who has seen the horrors of everything this world has to offer. The one who has made it back home, but at a cost I never wanted to make"

"A cost you never wanted to make."

Cyan ponders this statement. He is desperately searching for a way back home and, to an extent, bring Mael home as well.

It was then he thought of the potential problems. How incredibly difficult it could be to achieve what he did to accidentally cross the border...and that pocket grandma gave him.

"That pocket of ours. It's quite special, no? Grandma gave it to us as a way to protect us. Even if she's gone now, she's still with us because of it; life is quite the delicate thing and very easily lost"

That tone sounded extremely depressed, usually coming from someone full of grief, but why does he sound like that?

If he thinks about it, could this be him from another timeline or something?

So many questions, but he doubts he'll get any answers. Still, he wants to try to get some information. This version of him seems very informed.

"You look like you went through a lot. Can you tell me anything? About what happened?"

"I would if I could. However, I cannot tell you anything that might perhaps alter the way the world works. We are of different timelines. You must journey by yourself and those close to you. Tell me, Cyan. Do you trust them? Those who you would consider acquaintances and friends in a way."

Cyan couldn't help but feel like that's a weird question to ask, but to him it's a question he never liked to ponder.

He doesn't like to think about disappointing his friends, especially Mael. He had already done so much for him. He wouldn't want to put more burden on his brother. But of course he would trust them. They're, in a way, his family in this world and his close confidants, even if he wouldn't want to admit it, even if he wants to prove himself to them.

"Yes, I trust them wholeheartedly, Lanzette, Aile, Novem, Maelie. I don't know much about Soren, Jagal, and Nev yet, but I feel like they would also like me to trust them as well."

The him in the water let out a small, sad smile, one that looks almost like what a proud father would look like

"That's good, you should trust them. For they are your bonds and your companionship for this world. However, it would also be in your best interest to also try to bond with them deeper; they like you more than you think. Cyan, and a word of advice: never feel disappointed in yourself. You're already doing what you are best at..and doing the most of it already. Maelie would be sad if he heard you pondering like this"

Cyan felt a small hit in his heart that hit right in the feels. Yet in a way, he felt like he had a small semblance of closure, being able to talk things out with "him from another world or timeline?" He doesn't know, but he's definitely wise; that's for sure. He let out a small, sad smile, one with acceptance and a bit of relief?

"Yeah, I should. I keep feeling really down on myself. I want to make them proud of me to stand on my own two feet. I don't want to keep relying on them"

"And you are, you are helping them as a lumira. You shouldn't think of yourself as someone who needs protection; try to think of yourself as someone who always has their back to stand beside them as equals, even in a different role. Although I'm sure Maelie would still try to shelter us"

"Heh, you got that right. He would probably still try not to make me get in harm's way. Then again, so would the others, especially Novem."

Then the water fizzled as the him in the water sighed. Chan's own reflection was slowly returning to normal, and the him in the water looked at him.

"It seems our time talking has been cut short. I had a great time talking to you, Cyan. Although a small word of advice, if possible, try to open up more about yourself to the others, not just about our past but as you. Your feelings, what you want to do, and especially how you feel about them"

Cyan flinched and flushed as he tore his eyes away. God damn it. He doesn't have anything to say to that. Still, he should also try to give this version of him a goodbye as well.

"Do me a favor. See that poppy across the shore? Put it on the water for me as a way to thank me and say goodbye. I would sincerely appreciate it. Goodbye, cyan of this world. I do hope we could talk again if possible."

And the water turns back to normal. With his own normal reflection staring back at him...this version of him is very mysterious...he gave almost nothing about himself, and yet he could still tell. He was one who probably went through a lot. He almost couldn't tell it was himself; still, he should honor his wish. He walked along the shore to the poppy flower blooming beautifully as he gently took it and placed it on the water. Then he heard a shout.

"Cy!"

Mael came running, extremely worried. He looked like he had been searching for a while

"Thank goodness I found you. You were away for a long time. Are you okay?"

Strangely enough. Cy no longer felt that headache of his at all, only a sense of relief, and his body felt lighter.

"I'm fine, Maelie, sorry for worrying about you. I must have lost track of time while cooling my head"

He must have been gone for a long time. Still, that talk was quite nice.

"Heh. Thank you, Maelie"

While walking away, he looked at Maelie. And thought of the advice that version of him said.

"It couldn't hurt to try, right? To open up more about his feelings"

Behind him, the poppy sank into the waters and resurfaced in a land of death and decay with nothing left in it. But ruins and drought. Especially the stench of death plaguing the air. A hand reached out to grab it with a small, tender smile, as he added it to the accessories adorned on his body. A glimpse of his hand reveals 2 dawnstar chips embedded into it, and there's a collar almost hidden by the white hood. On the back of one hand, a bat's bite mark, and if you look closely enough, you'll see some semblance of makeshift wolf claws across the hooded eye.

"I hope he could be happy. The me in that world because here. I have already regretted everything I have done and lost them all"

He slowly walked to a place where there was still sunlight and no decay, and at the end of it, 7 tombstones all adorned with gifts and poppies. Cyan gently caressed the tombstones; his fingers rotted and his nails, sharp, almost like a fox.

"Maybe someday. I will get to see you all again. But until that day comes. I shall wander to finish what you all have started. eradicating all of those beasts and making this world a better place for all."

Cyan said with a small smile as he put the poppies he had on his body on the graves. Before he walked away. That's when a beast tried to attack him. he simply held a hand as the beast began to writhe in pain and immediately exploded. The scattered remains flew everywhere.

On the ground where it died.

A poppy bloomed.

He took it, adding to the collection on his body, before he journeyed once more to fulfill the wishes of those he loved dear and could only hope that he could still reunite with them in another life. He looks up to see a crow (his corekin) flying around the horizon. Reminding him of that sweet bird he once loved and cherished.