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Earning the title of Chunin was one of the most pivotal and important steps in a ninja’s journey. While becoming a Genin meant you know what the basics are, Chunin meant that you had mastered them and were ready for more. As a Chunin you could be sent on solo missions and lead your own squad. Because of the great honor it came with, the day a newly appointed Chunin received their vest for the first time was exciting.
It was a day to be celebrated.
However, the day Sakura became a Chunin was nothing of the sort. Kakashi remembered the day vividly.
It had been a year since Naruto decided to leave the village to train with the Sanin, Jiraiya. Sakura meanwhile had been training with Tsunade in all things medical ninjutsu and brute force strength. When the time to take the exams came around, Sakura had been shipped off to do them with Ino and Choji (To make up for Shikamaru who had already become Chunin.) The exams were hardly remarkable, especially compared to the chaos of the exams from the year prior.
In Kakashi’s honest opinion the exams hadn’t brought out the best in Sakura, as in he knew she could’ve done better. She was on edge the whole time, and he knew she was struggling with PTSD. Not to mention Ino and Choji, while strong ninja in their own right, did not work as well with Sakura as he would’ve liked. Though, by much luck and Sakura’s skill, all three of them were promoted to Chunin.
Kakashi hardly remembered when he himself became a Chunin. He was too young and just wanted to finally be able to go on missions alone, tired of “Dead Weight”. He did remember when his past teammates Rin and Obito became Chunin though. The new Chunin were all proudly announced, wearing their vests, in front of anyone else who actually came to see the Chunin. Everyone who knew them were ecstatic, celebrations among families went on for days after. Even Kakashi, who couldn’t have cared less, had congratulated them on their achievement… In his rude, very bland way.
At least his congratulations had some sort of character to them.
The day Sakura and her team were given their vests was bland, if not just plain out sad. The Chunin and their Sensei were gathered into some bland beige room with a single table to the side where the vests were stored. The guy behind the table simply handed them to the people in the line, giving a half-hearted and tired sounding, “Congratulations.”
When Sakura had received her vest she came to join him in the corner of the room as the only surviving members of team seven. Kakashi had smiled his crescent eye smile, and was about to congratulate her when the girl sniffled. He looked towards her, Chunin vest half-heartedly put on, fists balled at her sides. She looked up, tears welling in her eyes,
“I miss them sensei…” Was all she said before she broke out into quiet broken sobs, surrounded by the joy of everyone else in the room. Tears staining the Chunin vest she should’ve been proud and overjoyed to wear.
He never saw her wear it again after that.
It had been months since then, and life had moved on. Kakashi had been living life as he always did. He’d mostly train or do whatever missions he was assigned. The rest of his time was filled with reading his favorite two books (Which Jiraiya should hurry up and finish the last), and doing his best at keeping an eye on Sakura. Which had become increasingly more difficult as time went on.
The girl always looked so sad and dulled to the world around her. She wasn’t at all like the bright, and very scary, Sakura he knew. The Sakura who would knock Naruto upside the head, or fawn over Sasuke. He knew most of it could be his nostalgia talking, but there was clearly a deeper under lying problem.
And of course there was the other issue.
He had just finished reporting a mission to Tsunade in the middle of the night when she, tired and blabbing about whatever, informed him of Sakura’s other other issue. She complained that Sakura never fully completed her Chunin duties. Sure, she’d go on solo missions and occasionally lead groups, but she hardly ever even acknowledged the title. Most of the time her own team members didn’t even know of her title until she finally spat it out, the clear marker of Chunin collecting dust in her closet.
”They didn’t even know she was a Chunin Kakashi! It took her half the mission to finally spit out that she was the highest ranked on the squad! It’s absolutely ridiculous, a student of a legendary Sanin not even acknowledging her role…”
Sakura refused to accept her role, and went around town with a gloom that could rival Kakashi’s. All of this without speaking a single word about the problem to either of her teachers.
Whatever it was, he couldn’t let it keep going. He refused to let her end up like him, dulled to the world around her. So he was going to figure out what was wrong, and then!
…
Well, he wasn’t really quite sure. Last time he tried intervening in a situation like this the student immediately rogue, almost killing his other student in the process. Not to mention the student that almost died decided his best course of action would be to leave the village so he could bring the rogue one back.
…
Yeah, maybe he needed some advice.
.
.
.
Asuma pulled a brand new cigarette out and quickly lit it as if the situation of talking to Kakashi called for a stronger brand. After placing it carefully in his mouth and taking a long drawn out huff he looked towards Kakashi and raised an eyebrow, “What did you want to discuss?”
Kakashi hummed, and carefully adjusted the pieces on the shogi board in between them, resetting the game. “I need some advice on how to talk to Sakura.”
Asuma moved first, starting the exchange of turns. Then he paused, raising an eyebrow at the vague statement. “On how to talk to Sakura?” Kakashi gave him a look, “Ah… So it’s one of these issues then?”
He nodded, “The kid’s been walking around with a practical rain cloud over her head. From what Lady Tsunade’s been telling me she hardly even accepts her rank as Chunin. I haven’t seen the girl wear the vest since the day she got it.” He moved a piece, and took one of Asuma’s, smiling smugly towards him. Which was hardly visible in the first place.
Asuma huffed, beginning to mumble Shikamaru’s strategies under his breath. “Won’t wear her vest?” He looked up at Kakashi, looking mildly perplexed, “That’s odd, Ino hasn’t taken the thing off since she earned it. I swear she buys outfits to match the thing.” He made his move, and then folded his arms, “Why’d you come to me for advice on this?”
Kakashi leaned onto the palm of his hand, watching the board carefully. “Ino’s very similar to Sakura. I thought you ought to have some experience with it.” He paused mid sentence. “Oh, and Kurenai’s on a mission for the available future.” Asuma huffed at that. She was the better option of course but there was no need to say it aloud.
He shrugged, and pulled the cigarette from his mouth for a moment, letting it dangle in between his fingers. “There’s not much I can advise you on. Conversations like that just have to come across naturally.” Kakashi nodded in response, eyes glued to the board. “Just make sure not to make her feelings come across as ridiculous. One time I told Ino it was okay her hair didn’t look as ‘flawless’ as normal. She ignored me for a week.”
“You’re right, you really are as clueless as I am.” Asuma huffed out a laugh in response, returning his cigarette to its rightful place. Kakashi sighed in resignation, “I suppose I’ll just have to talk to the kid.”
“There’s no point in procrastinating, you’ll never get to it if you do.” Asmua shrugged, glancing at the board for a moment. He was about to make another remark when he did a double take, “Wait a minute…”
“I win.” Kakashi said lightly, blocking in Asuma’s king piece. Asuma let out a long sigh, forehead going into the palm of his hand in disappointment.
“I start to wonder if I ever really was good at this game.”
.
.
.
And so it was time for Kakashi to actually have a conversation with her, it wasn’t like she was going to go rogue… Right? Yeah, she had low chances of doing that.
And he was ready to try starting it, and he would, if he actually got the opportunity to.
For the past week he had barely caught sight of her. She was always doing missions, and when she wasn’t he himself was on a mission of his own. He had never realized how busy a ninja actually was until he tried to have a conversation with one. He was also aware she was avoiding everyone, hiding out in secretive spots. Little did she know, Kakashi was well aware of these spots. She was his student after all.
And he refused to abandon another one.
Kakashi made his way up the Hokage mountain, headed towards the small viewing point not many people knew about due to it being hidden by the forest and thick underbrush. He was aware of it from his ANBU days, where he would stare off after some… particularly difficult missions. Either way he knew that this was one of the best places to hide away from the outside world.
And he was right, the singular bench came into view as the trees broke away, and on top was that bright pink head of hair.
Sakura.
“Well, looks like I’ve found you.” He said lightly, coming up from behind the bench. Sakura startled, head turning to look at him in surprise.
“Sensei?”
It seems she somehow forgot he was a ninja too.
He came around and sat on the opposite of the bench, admiring the view of Konoha as the sun set. He had come to miss this view, though he would admit it had been hard coming up here in the first place. Sakura blinked dumbly off to the side, still somehow surprised her sensei had found her. “It’s been difficult to find you, just been swamped with missions hm?” He asked, giving her a knowing look.
Sakura’s face went pink in embarrassment, she scratched the back of her neck awkwardly. “Right…”
She continued to sit awkwardly, as if it was a crime to want to get away from things for a little while. “It’s okay to want some time to think.” He said, she finally looked up to meet his eye, “But at some point you need to tell someone what you’re thinking about.”
Sakura sat completely still, not betraying a single thought. Kakashi could see the anxiety though. The way her hands fidgeted, and how her feet seemed to dig into the ground below them. “It’s nothing.”
Kakashi let out a quiet sigh, guess he’d have to pull it out of her then. “Sakura, I’ve noticed that you haven’t been fully accepting your title as Chunin.” He paused, looking over towards her, “Is there a reason?”
Sakura paused, and he questioned whether she would dismiss him again or not. When suddenly, “I didn’t earn it!” Sakura yelled, eyes full of anger. “Everyone keeps treating me like a Chunin. Acting as if I’m not some imposter! They’re all stupid!” She huffed, clearly upset. Kakashi just listened quietly because he knew she wasn’t angry about something like that, she was upset with herself.
So he quietly waited for an explanation.
The anger immediately faded, and Sakua looked away towards Konoha. “I never deserved the title of Chunin.” He watched as her nose scrunched up in an attempt to keep tears from falling.
“Why do you think you don’t deserve it?” He asked quietly.
“Sasuke and Naruto were the only reason I ever got this far in the first place. And now both of them aren’t even here to claim the title they deserve!” She hugged herself quietly, “How could I ever accept a role I never truly earned?” She looked up with glassy eyes.
“You’re right.” Kakashi said bluntly. “They were better than you. They were stronger, faster, not to mention the ridiculous chakra pools for their age.” He started counting on his fingers, “They had to save you on missions more times than I can count.” Sakura stood still, eyes wide, not at all expecting her beliefs to be thrown right back at her.
“But they aren’t here now, are they?”
“They haven’t been for the last year, but you know who has been?” He poked her in the side of the head, “You.”
He started counting on his fingers once again. “They aren’t the ones with impeccable chakra control. The ones who train for hours trying to learn medical ninjutsu.” He paused and gave her a look, “Or the ones who have trained until their knuckles bleed, only to practice using medical ninjutsu right after.” Sakura’s hands carefully moved out of his line of eyesight, scars marring them from multiple failed attempts. He continued, “All of that has been you.”
She paused, jaw moving in confusion before, “How’d you kn-”
Kakashi huffed, “I’m still your sensei, of course I’m aware of the type of training you do.” Was that really what the girl was focusing on?
She blinked dumbly for a few moments before Kakashi continued speaking. “Chunin is a very specific rank with very specific qualifications. There’s a reason the exams are so deadly and all over the place. They want to make sure you have every single base covered.” He looked at her. “They saw you. Not Sasuke or Naruto. They saw you and very clearly decided that you were fit and ready to become a Chunin.” He poked her in the head once again, trying to get her to actually listen to him, “You earned the rank.”
They sat in the quiet for a moment, admiring and listening to the quiet sounds from Konoha down below. Being able to see the village reminded a ninja why they did what they did. It was to protect the small pocket of peace in a land where it ceased to exist. After some time Sakura sighed, nodding along to what he had said before. “I- I want to believe you. Everything makes sense, I just can-.” She paused, burying her face in her hands, “I just can’t seem to convince myself.”
“I know.” He sighed, very familiar with the feeling. “Things like these are very deeply ingrained into your being. It’ll take time before you finally begin to accept what others are saying.” He began to stand up from the bench, his knees cracked slightly and he sighed. It seemed he really was an old man like the village kids and Naruto always seemed to say.
He turned towards her, “What I want is for you to just think about what I’ve said, alright?”
She nodded absentmindedly, “Alright.”
He took that as confirmation and hummed. He just hoped this would plant some sort of seed. Sakura has always dealt with self worth issues, and he knew that. It reminded him of the day she received her vest months ago, he hadn't had the time to tell her did he? He lifted his hand up, smiled, and patted her on the head, “I’m proud of you either way, you’ve become a fantastic ninja.” He stood still for a few seconds to make sure she heard it and then he stepped back and body-flickered away, leaving a shocked Sakura to her thoughts once more.
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Sakura laid quietly on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. It’d been a few weeks since Kakashi-sensei had decided to have a chat with her, and his words had been bouncing around in her head ever since. She looked to the side to see a mission scroll lying on her bedside table, announcing that in just 32 minutes she’d have yet another mission. This one, she herself would be in charge of.
She sighed, and continued staring up at the ceiling. While Kakashi-Sensei had tried helping with having a chat Lady Tsunade decided the best way to get her to accept her role was pushing her into leadership roles as often as possible. She had been forced to say she was a Chunin for the sake of people knowing she was in charge. It was a rather forceful way of getting her to admit it, which was entirely Lady Tsunade’s thing so it checked.
Her alarm suddenly went off, announcing that it was finally time to get ready and go do this thing. She shut it off and achingly rolled out of bed, training and missions making moving seem like a strenuous exercise. She quickly fumbled around her room, only using the morning light to guide her. Once ready she smoothed down her hair and quickly started exiting the room, grabbing her bag off the bed.
She paused when she passed in front of the old closet, inside was her Chunin vest, hanging as it gathered dust. She took a step back and stared at it, a war going on in her mind over such a simple thing. She was about to walk away when suddenly a voice rang through her head.
“They saw you and very clearly decided that you were fit and ready to become a Chunin.”
She stepped closer, and opened the door as she re-thought through his words for what felt like the thousandth time. She stared at the hanging vest, still as brand new as the day she got it. It would be a waste to never use it, it had good storage and protective properties after all.
“You earned it.”
She could still feel his finger knocking the side of her head, as if trying to force the information in. And she guessed it worked, since she was actively thinking it over. If she grabbed the vest and wore it they would win. She’d lose the ridiculous argument over whether she was worthy of becoming Chunin or not.
But would it be so bad to lose?
Kakashi-sensei’s words came to mind. The tone, the way he sounded like he was entirely sure of what he was saying. How he seemed to be asking for her to just believe the truth. Or Lady Tsunade’s sad face every time she reported a mission, no vest in sight, completely avoiding any acknowledgment of how she had led the squad perfectly.
It would be a waste to never acknowledge the time they invested into her, the amount of times they worked with her so she could reach this very rank. And it would also be a waste to never acknowledge her own time and effort. She had put even more time into herself than them, working for hours after to just try to be worthy of the title.
But she already was, wasn't she?
She was given the title because she was worthy of the rank.
And so, quickly so she wouldn’t overthink it, she quickly grabbed the vest and stepped in front of the mirror to put it on. The fabric was still brand new, not at all worn like Kakashi-Sensei’s or even Shikamaru’s. She zipped it up and then stared for a moment, wondering how it felt at the time.
It didn’t look right.
But she knew, after some time it would.
Because Sakura Haruno was worthy of being called a Chunin.