Chapter Text
"Alright, done with the Festival…?" Kris heard Susie ask from somewhere behind them.
"Yes," came the automatic reply — not that Kris meant it, of course. It if were up to them, the two of them would be back at Castle Town tossing hoops onto Ralsei's horns. Or at church, dumping fruit punch into each others mouths. Or, hell, even at the library working on that damn group project.
If it was up to them, they wouldn't have to face Noelle. They'd said they wanted to protect her. They'd meant it. But how could they protect her with that thing inside of them?
"…'kay then." Susie muttered. She sounded disappointed. They couldn't blame her.
Kris felt their body turn to face her, a stiff and robotic gesture. An uncomfortable silence passed between the two of them.
"I gotta go wait for the ice cream, so…" Susie stares down at the ground, nudging a pebble to the side with her shoe, "Guess, I'll see you later, huh."
It's not a question, it's a statement. Because there are no questions. Not anymore. Not when the word of that thing is law.
Susie turns to leave. She takes a few steps. Then she stops.
"I… Kris, I'm not good at saying this stuff, but… even if we didn't really do anything. It was nice… seeing the Festival with you. And stuff."
It was times like these Kris was grateful for their eternal poker face.
"I… I know me and Noelle are… getting kinda close, but… you're still a big deal to me, too," Susie smiles gently, revealing jagged, yellow teeth.
Kris felt butterflies in their stomach and bile rising in their throat.
Susie awkwardly places a clawed hand on Kris's shoulder, "So, uh. Cheer… up, okay?"
In that moment, Kris was acutely aware that they didn't deserve Susie. Not after lying to her face a thousand times over. Not after working with the enemy. Not after what they did to Noelle.
She flashes another quick grin, then takes a step back.
Please don't go. Please don't leave me alone with her. Please don't leave me alone with it.
"See ya!"
And she was gone.
Kris was granted one small mercy, and that was the ability to take a deep breath before their body turned on it's own and began its slow, inevitable march towards Noelle.
Every step felt like a death sentence. For Kris or for Noelle, they weren't sure. They just knew they were tying someone's noose. The rope felt rough in their hands. Hands that didn't belong to them, but would carry out the deed anyways.
It was a beautiful day. The auburn lighting caressed the landscape, reflecting off the lake into a kaleidoscope of colors that in any other circumstance would have been picturesque. It was nostalgic, almost.
They remembered plenty of days like this. Days where Kris and Noelle would splash around in the shallows while Dess and Azzy sat on a log, "keeping an eye on them"… though "keeping an eye on them" seemed to involve a lot more weed than any of their parents probably intended.
"Eek! It's so cold!" Noelle yelped.
"You like the cold!" Kris snickered, splashing her again.
"Not like this!"
"HEY!" Asriel barked, "You two are way too far out!"
"They're fine, Azzy," Dess insisted lazily, "They know how to swim."
Dess and Azzy went back and forth, bickering until they completely forgot they were supposed to be watching anybody at all.
But now?
Dess and Asriel were gone.
No one was watching. No one was even pretending to watch.
Except for it.
And there she was.
Exactly the girl it wanted to see.
There she stood. Facing away from them, gazing into the lake. The encroaching night draped her form in shadows, though her golden hair — which blew ever so softly, ever so gently, in the autumn wind — still caught the sun's final dying rays. In any other circumstance, Kris would have thought she looked beautiful. But this wasn't any other circumstance.
The two of them stood there in a sort of stalemate.
The silence dragged on for ten seconds. Fifteen seconds. Twenty.
Or… perhaps it didn't?
That thing could read minds, couldn't it? At least sometimes, anyway.
What was she saying to it?
Just talk to me! They wanted to scream, I'm right here, I can help!
But they couldn't help.
After what felt like an eternity, she finally spoke.
"I want that."
A nonsensical way to open a conversation. But clearly, the conversation had already begun.
Without Kris.
They shouldn't be surprised. They were always an afterthought.
Noelle shifted to the side, hands clutched tightly to her chest. She was shaking, Kris could tell that, even from a few feet away.
Kris had never been big on physical affection, but in that moment, they would have given anything in the world to run up and hug her. To pull that stupid thorn from her hand, to tell her it was all just a stupid prank, to promise her — again and again — that everything was going to be alright.
But they'd already tried that, hadn't they?
"Since Dess left… all I've been doing has just been… marching down my path," Noelle continued, tone soft as it ever had been, "Staying quiet. Getting good grades…"
Kris tried to speak. Their lips didn't move.
"It feels like… I've just been watching myself through glass. Watching someone else move me through my life."
Kris wanted to laugh. Kris wanted to cry.
"That's why… I want to do something crazy. That's why… I want to break free."
Kris gingerly pressed a hand to their chest, feeling at the sore, scarred over area where it had been forced in and out of their body again and again and again…
"But, I can't. I couldn't. Because I'm just Noelle. A Noelle who has to do Noelle things. Just like a Kris has to do Kris things."
Kris felt themself pawing weakly at their chest. Get it out get it out get it out get it out I need to get it out it's gonna hurt her why can't I GET IT OUT—
"But Kris… you changed."
She finally turned to face them. Kris immediately wished she hadn't. She looked disheveled, crazed — features stretched into a wide, joyless grin, pinprick eyes desperately searching Kris's blank features. For what, they had no clue.
"Kris, YOU actually changed!" She exclaimed, fingers curling and grasping at nothing, "You found out how to stop being Kris!"
I'm still me! They wanted to scream, I'm still here!
But aren't. And they're not.
"And no one else has noticed…" Noelle's tone dropped to a conspiratorial whisper, "Because they don't want to! They don't want to see how INTERESTING you are now!"
Their heart sank. Is that really what she thought of them? Of what they'd become…?
"They'll just keep marching down the same path…" Noelle shook her head in disgust, "Without even thinking where it goes!"
Then, suddenly, her tone softened all over again. Like she was herself again. Like she was Noelle again.
"Kris… being around you…" She brought her hand back up to her chest, mirroring the gesture Kris had accidently found themself locked into, "Is changing me, too."
Please, god, no.
"K… Kris… when I cast 'Snowgrave'… I felt stronger than I have in my entire life."
No no no no no—
They were forced to watched, helplessly, as Noelle dropped to her knees, shaking her head frantically and grabbing at her face, grabbing at her hair—
Don't make me do this to her!
"I know… it's horrible. It's horrible to say that, but…" Her trembling hands dropped back into her lap.
"Kris. You… if it's you telling me to, I can do anything. If it's you telling me to, I can do things that are impossible. Things no one else can do."
Don't make me say it!
She cast her eyes up towards the sky for a moment, smiling faintly, "So, why don't we do it?"
Don't make me say it to her!
"Why don't we do…" She gingerly pushed herself to her feet, taking a step towards Kris, " 'Something crazy?' "
Kris felt their nails press into their skin slightly. But that was all. That was all they could muster. It wasn't enough. It was never going to be enough.
"Tell me… tell me to grow wings… and let's fly out of this stupid town!" She leaned in, eyes flashing with desperation, "To somewhere no one has been before!"
Elly…!
The wind caught her hair again as she suddenly turned away. Staring back at—
"The other side of the lake. We always wanted to see what was there, didn't we? The four of us, when we were kids…"
Noelle's gaze landed back on Kris. Her eyes had gone gentle once again, but that didn't stop Kris from wanting to scream, "Kris, let's go there. You'll tell me, won't you?"
Elly, please…!
She stepped forward and carefully, oh-so-carefully, took both of their hands. Kris felt a thorn pressing into their palm, "So tell me, Kris…"
Kris watched helplessly, uselessly, as Noelle began to slowly walk the two of them towards the water, "The words… I've been waiting to hear."
She sounded… bashful, almost. As if this were sweet. As if this were intimate. As if she were asking for a kiss underneath the mistletoe.
Kris tensed, breath caught in their chest, bracing themself for the command to come crawling out of their throat.
Only… it didn't.
It was silent. Nothing but the gentle sounds of the wind and water.
What's… taking so long?
Noelle's face began to fall.
Is… this where it draws the line…?
A small spark of hope.
"Proceed."
They should have known better.
Noelle's face lit up like never before. Kris felt tears stinging their eyes as the two of them stepped into the lake. Their shoes were soaked. So were her hooves.
"Proceed."
"The water's… nice, isn't it, Kris?" Noelle whispered.
It might have been, once. Not anymore.
"Proceed."
Kris wanted, more than anything, to scream for help. But their vocal cords only served one function now.
"Proceed."
"Kris, don't hesitate," Noelle squeezed their hands tighter.
The cool water tickled the back of their knees.
"Proceed."
They had long since learned that pleading to it for mercy was pointless. But that didn't stop them from sending out desperate prayers.
"Proceed."
"Haha… it's… colder than I thought."
Kris thought, distantly, that there was no coming back from this. Though, if they were being honest, they had reached that point a long time ago.
"Proceed."
The water was up to their waists.
None of this was part of the plan.
"Proceed."
It wasn't supposed to go this way!
This isn't fair!
"Proceed."
"Kris, don't let go of my hands. Just keep walking."
The water brushed up against their armpits.
"Proceed."
"Kris, just… keep walking."
We're… we're going to die here!
"Proceed."
"Kris…"
The water rose up past their shoulders.
I don't want to die here!
"Proceed."
"Kris……"
The water was up to their chins. Noelle's hair swirled around her.
She doesn't deserve to die here!
"Proceed."
The water was up past their noses. Somehow, someway, in some extraordinary display of will, Kris managed to wrench one of their hands out of Noelle's grasp. Trying to hold her head above water, trying to do anything—
"Proceed."
Noelle quickly regained her grip on Kris's hand.
"Proceed."
Water flooded their lungs.
The two disappeared under the lake's surface.
…
It was dark. Endless dark, and endless cold. Kris's legs kicked, frantically, trying to find the bottom of the lake, but it wasn't there.
Noelle held onto them like a lifeline, nails digging so deeply into Kris's skin that little droplets of blood blossomed out from the punctures before promptly vanishing into the inky abyss.
Water burned in their nostrils and in the back of their throat. Lungs pumped so full of fluid they feared they might burst. Their lips were still moving. Still repeating one word — one stupid fucking word — to a girl who could no longer even hear it.
Kris fought desperately, stupidly, pointlessly to try and pull Noelle back towards the surface. But Noelle had her orders. And so the two of them sank, deeper and deeper down…
This time, it was Noelle who let go of Kris — albeit only for the briefest of moments. She wrapped her arms around their waist with a tightness that ensured the two of them could never again be separated.
Perhaps she had sensed how scared they were? Or maybe she just wanted to be closer to it. Not that it mattered. Kris was just grateful they weren't going to die alone.
Kris had thought about it often. What it would be like to die. They'd asked Toriel once, when they were younger. She'd said it was peaceful, like falling asleep. 'd always liked that idea. That at the end of the everything, no matter what, you would get to rest.
They'd been praying for years that a gentle death would swoop them off their feet and deliver them, gently, into oblivion. But just like all of Kris's wishes, it never came true.
Their SOUL wriggled and pulsed uncomfortably inside of their chest. How much longer now? It had to be almost over. It had to be.
Please…!
Their vision flashed red.
Noelle held them close.
Their SOUL thrashed around in its cage until it
cracked
and
shattered.
Broken shards, the remains of it, burst out in all directions, desperate for freedom. They drove themselves deep into Noelle, and even deeper into Kris, each one pulsing frantically for a few moments more, before finally falling still and silent.
Kris gripped on tight to the back of Noelle's shirt, trying to convince themself not to be afraid.
Blood swirled around the pair.
It's okay.
Lake water stung at their wounds.
It's going to be okay.
Their fingers were going numb.
Soon it'll be over and I won't hurt anymore and she won't hurt anymore and it'll all be okay and—
Something was wrong.
Torsos pressed together, bleeding into each other's wounds, something was wrong.
Their insides churned unpleasantly. They couldn't feel where Noelle's shirt ended and her fur began. Something viscous was oozing between their fingers.
Panic reaching transcendental heights, Kris tried to pry their hands away, only to find them rooted firmly to the spot, slowly but surely dissolving into the larger mass of Noelle's back.
Failing this, they tried to twist away, to create some distant between Kris and Noelle — to create any distance between Kris and Noelle — only to be met with a sickening CRUNCH that sent them lurching forwards.
The barrier between the twos flesh didn't seem to matter anymore. Their ribcages interlocked, intent on devouring one another. The sensation of bone grinding against bone was nauseating.
Their faces were just a few inches apart now, legs intertwined and slowly dissolving. Kris's body — what was left of it — hung limp and useless. Noelle held them like they were the last worthwhile thing in the world.
For a moment, the two of them floated there. Then, ever so gently, Noelle pressed her lips against theirs. She tasted like blood and peppermint.
Another sickening CRUNCH as their skulls began to meld. The inside of Kris's mouth had become a mess of tongues and teeth. Agony radiated throughout their body, so intense and all encompassing that it defied description and yet somehow, someway they remained awake, able to process and feel the repulsive thing they were becoming.
The remains of what had once been Noelle twitched slightly.
Was this… what she had wanted…?
Kris wasn't given the opportunity to find out. The third and final CRUNCH unified the last of their oozing flesh and bone, sending fractures cascading across their skeleton. And at last, mercifully, the pair were granted the gift of unconsciousness.