Chapter Text
1.
“Wemmbu, I have an amazing idea for you bro.”
Throughout Wemmbu's whole career as one of the strongest heroes in the department, there were few that truly knew his civilian identity and name, excluding the higher ups and the information keepers.
And one of them was Eggchan. The man with angel-like features and one extremely saturated Navy blue eye, and the guy mostly known as the 67th lore keeper.
“Bro what? Spill,” Wemmbu raises a brow, his arms crossing over one another as he leans against the doorframe of his best friend's simple apartment.
Eggchan smiles, like, widely. Like a grin but not quite one. “What if you crossdressed?”
“I didn't know you swung that way,” Wemmbu jokes teasingly as Eggchan's wings puff out in annoyance.
“Bro I legit have a girlfriend.”
“Can't stop you from being bisexual, though—"
“Alright bro let's move on from my sexuality, to your new identity.”
Wemmbu instantly shifts his position, swiftly landing on the cushy bed of his best friend's and intently listens.
Eggchan, not minding, continues: “So like you're gonna need a new identity after like you know, your ‘S**cide’ act.”
“Psssh─! Invis people are everywhere bro. There's no need for me to crossdress!”
“Bro, chill out and hear me out first. People are gonna get suspicious as f*k if the current top 1 hero suddenly gets banned! So, what if, you like, cross-dress to hide your identity? To─”
“—throw people off my tail because I’m a whole ass different gender from male.”
Wemmbu finishes the sentence slowly, staring at Eggchan like the idea personally reached into his skull and rearranged his brain furniture.
Eggchan snaps his fingers, his voice laced with genuine excitement. “YES. Exactly. See? Big brain moment!!”
There’s a long pause.
Then Wemmbu lets out a laugh—short, incredulous, one of those you cannot be serious laughs. “You want the strongest hero on the server to survive with one life by putting him in a skirt. This genuinely sounds like a tale written online!”
“First of all,” Eggchan says, holding up a finger, “it does not have to be a skirt. Second of all, you already died publicly. They mourned. There were memorial signs.”
Then, he continues with a guilty tone:
“As much as I wanna say this plan is lowkey smart, it isn't foolproof, Wemmbu. Nobody saw you exactly… you know, die.”
“Oh, come on! It's solid and they’re gonna have to believe it!”
Wemmbu groans and flops backward onto the bed, staring at the stone ceiling. In a world where every hit mattered, where lava didn’t forgive and fall damage didn’t care about reputation, anonymity was power. He knew that. He hated that he knew that.
“Egg, I'm aware that they're not going to believe this news easily. Heck, I'm sure that there'll be hunters everywhere for the next few days—”
“—Weeks, actually. Or maybe even months—” Eggchan cuts in.
“Yeah, yeah, months or whatever, but it'll die down. I'm sure of it! It'll be old news like it always becomes. Maybe I'll get a nice statue in honor of me like past heroes at the great lily as a sign of respect.”
“Okay bro, but like…”
“I wanna hear another plan aside from this, Egg…” he mutters.
Eggchan beams. “Wait, you actually wanna go through with thiii….? You better THANK me for this idea.”
“I’m not agreeing yet dawg???”
“You’re agreeing spiritually. Yes, I can tell, bro. Trust.” He claims this, putting a hand on his chest as a sign of certainty with his chin held high.
Wemmbu sits up again, rubbing his face. “Okay. Hypothetically. Hypo-thet-i-cal-ly. How does this even work? My hitbox doesn’t magically change.”
“No, but your story does,” Eggchan replies easily. Like it's been something he was ready for ever since they met. “New name. New skin. New voice pattern in chat. You don’t fight like a god anymore—you play clumsy. You ‘panic.’ You run.”
“Are you disrespecting women now? Yoo, you're getting cancelled,” Wemmbu jokingly says and Eggchan visibly gags.
“My girlfriend is a QUEEN! I'm a full on feminist supporter bro- where did YOU get that idea from?? The developers??”
“L-O-L,” Wemmbu spells the letters out. “Bros putting stereotypes now!”
“Wha- what? No I'm not! Why are you backtracking our convo like this, man? Trying to…” Eggchan pauses, squinting his eyes towards the purple haired man like a detective that cracked a case wide open. “... I got it! You're trying to escape this!”
Eggchan gasps dramatically, even putting the back of his hand against his forehead, eyes closed, all for the amazing dramatic effect.
“How could you do this to me, bro?!”
Somehow, those words didn't align with the theatrics he was currently performing. Actually, the whole sentence was.
This ensues in Wemmbu's hysterical fit of laughter, tears of joy forming in the corners of his eyes as he holds his abdomen area.
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
Eggchan opens his one eye open to glance towards his friend, eyes crinkled at the corners and a warm smile on his face
It was then that Wemmbu unfortunately choked on his saliva. Oh dear!
It was later on, Eggchan estimated, to be around 5-6 minutes. It took a while, from Wemmbu's choking, to his coughing fit, and the sudden downing of water down his throat, then back to another coughing fit. Wow.
‘Well, it was pretty unexpected,’ Egg sighs inwardly.
He looks towards his purple friend and asks, “How are you? Feel any better?”
Wemmbu raises his trembling hand and curves his fingers into a thumbs up with a strange expression. “Y-yeah… Did I lose aura?”
…
Egg huffs, playfully yet also gently, slapping the shoulder of his best friend. ‘I can't believe I'm friends with this chud bro…’
“Nah bro, you lost 99- tung tu—”
“Ay, ay, don't say that thing’s name! It's creepy!”
“Okay, okay, jeez man..” Despite the seriousness in Wemmbu's statement that tung tung sahur was creepy, they both broke out into small bubbling giggles.
A playful smile dances across Egg's lips as he takes a seat beside his friend on his own bed. Then, he swings an arm across Wemmbu's shoulder and raises his vacant hand into the air.
“But seriously though, think of the things you could get away with!”
Wemmbu deadpans at him. “Bro. I am not becoming a femboy!”
“I didn't say femboy, I said become a girl! Pretend to be one! Listen to me, bro. Bro. Bro-”
“YES, I am listening.”
“Okay, so — hear me out. People are more likely to drop their guard down around cowardly people, you hear me? Yeah, some freaky stuff goes around some that find those aspects attractive. But! But! But! The chances are you won't be expected to be… you know, SMASH N' DASH.”
Wemmbu inhales through his nose, the scent of feathers care and a mix of the crisp END air enters. He feels it going down into his heart and entering the heart where it sends it into the lungs to turn into oxygen. Then, he exhales it, with a resigned undertone.
Then, with an uncanny seriousness, he says.
“So. What you're telling me is to pretend to be a shy, cowardly girl to increase the chances of my permanent vacation?”
Ironically, Egg responds in the same uncanny seriousness.
“Yes, bro. That is what I'm telling you.”
Wemmbu raises his hands together and crosses his fingers across each other, placing it under his chin as he gently presses his elbows against his thighs.
“So?” Egg asks, his eyebrows raised in curiosity.
The former superhero sighs heavily. Then, he looks Egg straight into the eyes. Well, Eye, since his other is covered by a medical eye patch.
“I… uh, ahem, agree. This is a good plan. But… where the heck will I find clothes that give off the vibe, and also, can't you see I'm ripped?”
As Wemmbu states this, he raises his right arm and flexes his biceps. They both deliberately ignore the scars across it. However, despite this, Egg grins.
His wings flutter in excitement, adding on.
“Yeah bro, I have a contingency plan for this.”
“A contingency plan, Egg? Bro…”
“Uh huh. That's right. We're…”
By Mary poppins power and logic, Egg grabs a corset behind him with a smile.
“Putting you into a corset!”
“Are we defying laws of gravity— scratch that, how did you do that?”
“Sh sh sh, my good friend!” Egg hurriedly shushes him. “Magicians…”
“... Never reveal their secrets. Blah, blah, blah… Next, you're going to tell me you once worked as a magician's assistance before you met me when we were both 8?”
“Nah, I'm just built different.”
“Okay, bro…”
“How the heck are you changing our topic so fast, anyways? Stay on track So-”
Wemmbu clamps a hand over Egg's lips with a tight smile. “Egg, I love you like a brother, but don't use that brainrot, bro.”
At this, Egg raises a brow and gently pulls down Wemmbu's hand. “Bro… coming from you..? You probably have a worse doomscrolling addiction!”
“Nuh uh.”
“Uh huh…” Egg says this in a sarcastic tone. “These tactics don't work on me, Wemmbu. My sweet, sweet friend!”
The purple-haired individual sighs. “Okayy… but how am I going to fit into a f*kahh corset? My build doesn't work for that!”
Egg smiles. The kind of smile that screams “Don't worry bro, I gotchu.”
“Why, by dieting and the wonderful use of magic!”
“Yep, yep, totally makes— wait what now.”
Wemmbu stares at him in shock.
‘I mean, it's not that big of a deal. It's for Wemmbu anyways.’ Egg inwardly convinces himself despite not needing to. He would always be there for Wemmbu, anyway.
“Yeah, bro. How else did you gain those muscles?”
“Nah, nah, nah, pause. Magic? That magic? Egg…”
“It's not that important, dawg. Besides, I got enough reserve for emergencies! Nothing to worry about.”
The former hero's stare of shock quickly transitions into one of guilt, awe, shame, and also worry.
“But magic doesn't lightly work on end dragon kin…” He adds on, “Ya' don't need to do that. I can just—”
“—and get caught easily? Bro, end dragon hybrids and kins are already endangered, which is why there's a lot of research and technology into recognizing their magic and et cetera.” Egg quickly cuts in, pointing out undeniable facts.
With this, Wemmbu sits uncomfortably on the bed. “But only, like, tons of magic can illusion an end dragon hybrid. Like me. Won't that drain you?”
“Nuh uh, boy!” Egg points his index finger upwards, and, in an imitation of a nerd voice, he explains the following. “Basically, I can reach Goku level power. I can give you around 60% of my magic reserve and continue to regenerate more overtime. No, this won't harm me in any way possible, got it?”
Wemmbu snaps his fingers together, a snip sound formed. His face revealed a lot of emotions, a major one that told Egg he understood it.
“Ahhh, gotcha!”
“You bet, bro. Now, get off my bed really quickly.”
“? ‘Kay.”
Wemmbu complies, standing before Egg.
“Tell me if you feel anything,” Egg tells him.
Then, Wemmbu nods, Egg raises his hands upward and a golden halo, radiant and also faded, appears on his head.
A golden glimmer, like a veil, or maybe a curtain, covers Wemmbu. At first, it felt like nothing. But gradually, Wemmbu felt sightly ticklish.
“Bro, this is lowkey ticklish,” He comments.
It took a while, with the re occurring sound of bells chiming that made Wemmbu think he was turning insane, the light faded, and…
“How do you feel?” Egg inquires, somehow already having a mini note pad in hand, alongside a pen.
“Nothing much. Felt ticklish, heard some bells earlier, and right now… feels like I got goosebumps.”
“Uh huh… okay, look into the closet door to your left and you'll see a mirror. Check yourself out.”
“Egg, I better look hot, bro.”
“Yes, bro…”
Egg watches as his friend turns his head, a loud, audible gasp leaving his mouth as his jaw drops and he bolts to the mirror.
Wemmbu pushes his cheeks upwards with his hands, making weird facial features. He twirls around, his tail trailing behind him smoothly.
“Holy developer,” he mutters.
In the mirror, he looked like a whole different person. Sure, he still had lilac-coloured skin, his horns were still there, sclera still black, eyes silver, tail still there, however, he looked like he went through intense muscle loss.
His figure returned to how it was before he was trained to be a hero. A bit short, yes, but he had lost the muscles and got smooth skin.
“Dang bro, it actually worked! Didn't expect that…” Egg quietly says the last part. ‘In truth, I expected him to look like a femboy…’ he guiltily thinks.