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Home.
A word he missed saying, a place he missed being, so very badly. It wasn’t the bioluminescence of the river algae. It wasn’t the crooning and yipping of young Nantang pups play hunting with their siblings within the safety of their mothers dens. It wasn’t the morning cries of the Ikran, perched in lines along the edges of the cliffsides to overlook the floating mountains.
It was… all of it. The smell of rain on the forest soil. The feel of wet foliage sticking to his skin as he ran after Lo’ak and Kiri, carrying Tuk on his back while he rushed with pristine balance across caverns held together by thin bridges of vines. The flowers that would wrap around your fingers as if they were glad to see you, the atokirina that would float endlessly through the air, dancing across the darkness like pieces of the great mother’s very spirit, just being close to her people. Her children.
His eyes began to mist as the scent of salty sea air filled his nose once more, and he sat up. Within the darkness of the Marui Pod, Neteyam realized he was on his own in the sickening grief that kept sleep from coming. Sliding his feet over the edge, he hopped down into the sand and began to walk towards the shoreline.
It wasn’t home.
He wanted to go home.
How long had they been here already? Already making enemies of the future Olo’Eyktan, of the other young warriors of the Metkayina. Already proving himself to be a subpar excuse for one of them in the water. He wasn’t fast, he wasn’t agile, he wasn’t a skilled hunter, not by their standards. All the effort he’d put in, all the time, the training, the practice. All his pride in being the future Olo’Eyktan, all his self worth built on who he was and what he was made to do.
Lo’ak’s words had always stung, that he was the ‘perfect little soldier’ in comparison to his younger brother, but that wasn’t the case. It was stress, it was too much. And now, all the sweat, the tears, the blood, the sleepless nights spent callousing and splitting his fingers to perfect the shape of his bow, of his arrows, to specialize them for himself and his skill set, it was all wasted. What good were arrows when hunting was under the water? What good was a hunter who couldn’t hunt? What good was a Na’vi who didn’t fit..?
He’d sat by the shoreline, tail flicking anxiously behind him as thoughts of his own inadequacies consumed his mind.
Neteyam didn’t often show his raw emotions on the outside, not if he could help it. If he had nothing else, he had his composure. He could be a good son, he could behave, play nice, obey. So long as his family was safe, he could cope. But, still, the resentment and anger and grief grew in his heart, so heavily he swore he could hear it pounding not just in his own ears, but outside his chest as well.
Neteyam had no idea how much time at passed by the time a hand came down onto his shoulder. Golden-green eyes snapped to the hand, noting the cerulean tone and peering up. His eyes narrowed in confusion for a moment before he forced the neutral expression on his face once more.
“Ao’nung” Neteyam said in a hushed tone, so as to not wake those in the nearby Marui pods.
“You are awake quite late, Forest Boy” the future Olo’Eyktan said, sitting down beside Neteyam with a huff, “I could not sleep myself. You think too loudly, I could feel the tension from within my pod. What is it?”
Neteyam gave a small scoff, then swallowed the rest of the sound down. He cleared his throat, trying to cover the sarcastic sound he’d made.
“Nothing” he said, “I am simply not tired, that’s all”
Ao’nung pushed Neteyam to the side, knocking him out of his squatted seat with a huff. “Bad liar” Ao’nung said, moving to fully sit instead of the squatted seat once more, settling on his knees. “Your tail gives you away, Forest Boy. It’s active, moves without you realizing. Look”
Neteyam hesitated before looking behind him, seeing the dip in the sand from where his tail had been swishing, creating little piles of sand on either side of him, indenting the spot right behind him. He sighed, shaking his head.
“It is not an issue that you can resolve, Ao’nung. It is also not something you would care about” Neteyam said sullenly, jaw tense as he looked back out to the sea, to the horizon, towards where his home was. He wished he could see it, even in the far off distance. It felt.. so far.
“Tell me anyway” Ao’nung said, turning and giving a cocky grin, “your future Olo’Eyktan demands it”
Neteyam bristled at that, and Ao’nung realized he’d hit a nerve. Before the Metkayina could speak, Neteyam groaned loudly.
“I should be Olo’Eyktan. Not here, home” he said quickly, “I worked too hard for it to be stolen from me, I tried so hard, I did everything I was supposed to do, and more. I tried my best to be the best, to obey, to listen, to learn quickly, to grow my skills, to master my forms and my hunting and my flying, my aim, my aerial skills, everything. Everything, and for it to lead up to me being.. useless here? Useless..? I’m grateful that Uturu was granted, my family was not safe, but… I want to go home”
Neteyam was silent after the outburst, as was Ao’nung. Both boys looked to the sea in silence before Neteyam sighed, dropping his head into his knees.
“I’m.. sorry. I did not mean to just put all of this onto you” he said.
Ao’nung was… torn, to say the least. Usually, he’d be picking on the Omatikaya, picking apart how different they were to the Metkayina, but right now, he didn’t see many differences. Not between he and Neteyam at least. Both sons of Olo’Eyktan’s, both with the pressure of the clan on their backs, both under stress to be perfect, to represent their family, to ensure that their reputation wasn’t sullied by youthlike mishaps. Be perfect, but be humble. Be strong, but be gentle. Be fair, but be stern. Be wise, but don’t be a smartass. Be a good hunter, but don’t shed needless blood. Be independent, but work as a team with the clan. It was a lot.
“sometimes it’s too much” Ao’nung said calmly, for once, “to know how people look at you. To have to live up to the Olo’Eyktan and then try to be better. Not to outshine him, but to show that he taught you well. To respect your elders, but find your own way. To follow traditions, but always learn new things. To master your skills, but don’t fail openly. It can be hard. I.. am almost jealous of you, Forest Boy. You got to step away from it. I wish I could, even for a day. Sometimes”
Neteyam looked to Ao’nung, eyes soft, observing, studying. The Omatikaya let a small laugh out, causing Ao’nung to turn with a scowl.
“You aren’t intolerable when you’re being a real person” Neteyam said, sighing. “I did not truly get to step away. Yes, from the duties to the clan, but still, no matter where we go, I am more than an Olo’Eyktan’s son, I am the son of Toruk Makto, his reputation and legacy are my responsibility always. As it is for Lo’ak, Kiri, Tuk, and our mother. I still have to be all of those things, but I have to do it all without question, without hesitation. Listen without understanding, obey with out agreeing, it’s..”
“Impossible” Ao’nung said. “To balance the stress of being an obedient student and an independent future leader. It feels impossible”
Neteyam gave a small nod, looking down. “I used to escape” he said, “whenever I needed to just.. step away for the day, as you said. I’d go out on my Ikran. Fly. Touching the sky made me feel so free, it made me feel… like nothing could ground me. As if I was one with the air itself. Unable to be contained, unable to be trapped by responsibility or duty”
Ao’nung snorted at that, shaking his head, his long curling hair swaying with the motion, catching Neteyam’s eyes.
“Ah, we do not have the pleasure of having Ikran here” Ao’nung said, “and, I do not think I’d be much use in the air. I’d never be able to ride one of those sky beasts properly”
Neteyam’s eyes widened, looking to Ao’nung. “I could.. take you” he said, slowly, carefully, as if risking setting off a timebomb even with the offer.
Ao’nung looked to him with shock. “On- On your Ikran?” he asked. When Neteyam nodded, Ao’nung gave a nervous laugh, shaking his head. “Ahh- no, Forest Boy, I am not built for the sky-“
“I am not built for the sea” Neteyam pointed out. Ao’nung reluctantly gave a shrug, nodding in agreement.
“Yes, but that is different. You have to adjust” Ao’nung said. Neteyam gave a small smirk, tilting his head.
Ao’nung suddenly realized, with how Neteyam’s neck craned back a bit, how sleek his neck was, how long and pretty his braids were, the color of his skin and the glowing of his freckles, he looked like his mother.. he was beautiful.
“And, in the same situation as us, are you saying we are adjusting better than you would?” Neteyam asked with a hint of sass, a hint of a challenge. Ao’nung snapped out of his observation of Neteyam’s features, instantly bristling.
“Wh-?! Not at all! I’d adjust faster and more efficiently than you forest freaks can!” Ao’nung argued back, causing a laugh to leave Neteyam. That was a pretty sound, too, was everything Neteyam did pretty? That was new, for Ao’nung, to realize. He didn’t like that he was realizing that.
“Then come” Neteyam said, standing and wiping the sand off his legs quickly. “Prove it. Come fly”
Ao’nung stared after him for a moment before rising to his feet, walking after him. It had been a challenging remark, and Ao’nung realized he’d been trapped between his word and his ego. Both of which weren’t something he could just toss to the side. He groaned, ears flicking back as Neteyam’s perked happily, a smile growing on the darker blue boy’s face.
“Fine” Ao’nung relented, “fine. But if I get air sick, I will be aiming for the back of your head, Forest Boy”
Neteyam gave a laugh, nudging Ao’nung and walking towards the edge of the far dock, letting soft chirping calls out to Ikki. The winged beast let a loud, harrowing call out, that to anyone but its rider could signal danger. A massive, hulking creature. Green, brown, yellow, with an intricate saddle atop it.
“Do not look into her eye” Neteyam warned, stepping closer and petting the great animal’s fanged jaw. He smiled, nudging his head towards Ikki, sighing as she offered her kuru. He quickly formed the bond with her, watching as her eyes dilated and she began to let soft, crooning calls out to him.
Neteyam smiled widely, swinging himself up and onto her back with a cocky, proud energy. He was absolutely showing off, and Ao’nung knew it.
“Come” Neteyam said, offering his hand. Ao’nung eyed the animal warily before stepping forward and bracing on the part of the saddle that jutted out for foot grip. Jumping up and slapping Neteyam’s hand away, he sat on behind him, looking around nervously.
“Forest boy” Ao’nung began, “If I fall off of this thing, you better catch me. If you don’t, I can promise you, I will haunt you”
Neteyam laughed loudly, nodding his head and gripping the reigns. “Hold onto me, if you’d like” he said. Ao’nung immediately grasped onto Neteyam’s waist, holding onto him like a lifeline. The Omatikaya laughed softly, entertained by the Metkayina’s anxiety. He’d never seen Ao’nung cowed, this was different. Not entirely a bad thing, he needed a flick to the ego here and there.
Before Ao’nung could get a word out, Ikki took to the sky with a call from Neteyam. The reef Na’vi gripped on for dear life, letting a yell out as they ascended rapidly. He was used to deep water pressures, not sky pressures.
The night sky made it hard for Ao’nung to see, which worried him, because how could Neteyam see? Truthfully, Neteyam had been flying at night for years, his eyes were well adjusted to it, and he enjoyed it. He felt close to the stars when he flew up this high.
Pointing a finger up once they were flying straight, he leaned back, head on Ao’nung’s shoulder to ensure the other could hear him over the wind. “That is the star my father came from” he said, looking to Ao’nung then back to the sky.
Ao’nung’s eyes peered open, though he wasn’t sure when he’d closed them, staring up and…
“Wow..” Ao’nung breathed, staring up. The expanse of the sky was.. stunning. He was so close to them, it seemed. He felt weightless, in a different way than water had him feeling. The depths of the sea held stunning, amazing, spiritual sights, but something about this one was unique. It made his chest feel both heavy and featherlight.
“Yeah” Neteyam agreed in a soft voice, staring up still. “It’s my favorite. Being so close” he said, reaching his hands up and closing his eyes, “I miss home. This reminds me of it”
Ao’nung paused, looking to Neteyam and reaching up, grasping one of the Omatikaya’s hands and pulling it down. He touched at the glowing dots on Neteyam’s arm, staring intently at them.
“When I was little” he said, “and I would miss my father, who would go on hunting trips with the young warriors he was teaching. It would be a few days, and, though I was a mama’s boy, my father and I have a bond that I feel only he understands, nobody else could. But, ah- when I would cry, when I would miss him, my mother would tell me that as long as we could see the same stars, we were never too far apart”
Neteyam stared silently at Ao’nung’s finger as it pressed gently against his skin. He looked to Ao’nung’s face, noting the iridescent freckles that lined his face. How hadn’t he noticed them before..?
He reached a dark blue hand up, touching at a few on Ao’nung’s upper cheekbone. “.. thank you” he said, his chest feeling a bit tight at the kindness of the shared words. Ao’nung was right. These stars were the same ones that looked down on his people, his home, his forest. Those stars had watched him from childhood to now, and they’d continue to watch him for years to come. It was.. nice. But he felt like here, he saw them differently. At a new angle. From a new perspective.
“.. it isn’t so bad here” Neteyam said finally, his hand dropping as his cheeks darkened a bit, the wind rustling his hair as Ikki flapped her wings to keep them at the altitude they were flying at. “I… think I like the stars here, too”
Ao’nung gave a small smile, his own cheeks heating up as he scoffed, scratching at the back of his head. “Oh, yeah?” he asked, “are you sure that isn’t the altitude talking?”
“Are you?” Neteyam asked with a laugh, “you’re being so kind. You usually are more prickly than a freshly sharpened arrow”
Ao’nung had the gall to look a bit bashful, nodding. “.. I’m angry” he said, “not with you specifically, but.. I suppose it does come out on your family more often than I’d like.”
Neteyam nodded, he understood that. “.. sometimes it is easier to let the hard feelings out where there isn’t a relationship to damage” he said. “You can damage it with your friends, your family, but with strangers, there isn’t anything to break.”
Ao’nung looked up, surprised that Neteyam was so… understanding. “Like you said” he mumbled a bit, “it’s a lot. To be the next Olo’Eyktan. But… I will do better to not be as much as a skxawng to you. I can make no promises for that bull headed brother of yours, though”
Neteyam laughed at that, nodding. “Ah- no, Lo’ak can be a pain sometimes. But, he means well. The way we fall into our father’s shadows, he falls into mine. Or- he feels that way. It causes him to act out, I think. He will grow”
This.. this was nice. This was good. Ao’nung hadn’t even realized he’d never let go of Neteyam’s arm and, somehow, it had fallen to where their hands were touching.
“When you feel the weight” Neteyam began, “when things feel too heavy or- or you need to just.. breathe for a bit. My Ikran will always have a space for you to ride with me. If- I mean to say, if you’d like. To. With me”
Ao’nung couldn’t stop the smile that grew on his face, giving a nod.
“I suppose this isn’t so bad, Forest Boy” he said, looking up to the sky once more, “not at all.”
Landing wasn’t an ordeal at all. Stepping down into the sand, footprints walking together towards the pods as the sun began to rise, they knew they were more than likely to be scolded for being out so late. But something in them didn’t care, something in them felt.. whole.
Neteyam still missed his home, but something in Awa’Atlu felt warm now. Perhaps it was the outlook, the hope of better days ahead, the knowledge that he and Ao’nung weren’t so different.
Or maybe, just maybe, it was the fingers intertwined with his own, and the warmth of the Na’vi beside him as they walked.
“I should go inside before my father notices I was out all night” Neteyam said softly. Ao’nung nodded.
“Yes, of course” He said, “that and your brother would be throwing a fit that you got to break the rules”
Neteyam laughed and nudged him, though he didn’t quite disconnect their fingers yet.
“… Goodnight, Neteyam” Ao’nung said, bringing the back of Neteyam’s hand up to press a gentle kiss to the skin.
“Goodnight, Ao’nung” Neteyam said, giving a smile before nodding his head.
Parting ways, the warmth didn’t dissipate. In fact, staring up at the sky from the edge of the pod now, at least for Neteyam, he felt warmer than ever. Closer to home, closer to hope, and closer to Ao’nung.
Things would be okay.