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Emily Charlton did not do dating. She did not do relationships. She did, however, do occasional intimate rendezvous. She had a few rules regarding those :
- She avoided people from work or friends of friends (meaning people Serena introduced her to).
- She never stayed the night or brought someone back to her place.
- The only activity was sex (no small talk).
- And most importantly, she did not fall in love.
Emily Charlton was good at following rules. She was extremely good at it because she was a perfectionist. Her job was demanding, and she had no time for romance. Thus, those little rendezvous were the perfect compromise between human warmth and nothing too distracting. She could not afford to be distracted, ever. But she did need to feel loved, sometimes. Even if it was just for her body. That sounded a little pathetic, but Emily was not pathetic - she was a modern woman taking care of her desires.
Emily Charlton was good at following rules - so how did this happen? How did a one-night meeting turn into… well, a repetitive activity?
Rule number 1 : avoid people from work or friends of friends
Emily has no idea how this happened. She swears to God she has no idea - she did not give any hint at being open to what happened. One minute she was standing in the closet with Andrea, looking ridiculously pretty in her Dior dress, and the next, Emily was pinning her to the nearest wall and kissing her senseless. She had tried to back away after that momentary slip of judgment. She had taken a step back, her hands in front of her face, and said something along the lines of ‘this was a terrible mistake, it can never happen again’. Andrea had looked at her with her lips a little swollen from the kiss, and Emily had wanted to do it all over again.
They are now in the furthest bathroom from Miranda’s office. Emily had done nothing but drag Andrea there, closing the door in a hurry before pinning her right back to the wall. Emily is now two fingers deep in Andrea, a hand on her mouth to cover the noises, and her own mouth attached to Andrea’s neck. Andrea is not, per se, loud (not as loud as Emily anyway), but the tiny moans she hears are enough to drive Emily crazy. If not for the flesh under her lips, Emily would be moaning louder than Andrea - she is so turned on it becomes ridiculous (she is only now realizing that men are not at all her thing). She can feel Andrea’s walls fluttering around her fingers, and she knows she is close. She decides to take the risk of detaching her mouth from Andrea’s neck for a second to take in the view. Andrea has her eyes shut tight, she is biting her lips under Emily’s hand, and her hips are chasing her fingers with frantic movements. This was a bad idea - Emily moans out loud. This causes Andrea to open her eyes wide, her whimpers stifled by the redhead’s hand on her mouth.
”God, Andrea…” the rest is lost in a kiss. Emily puts her hand in Andrea’s, intertwining their fingers. This feels strangely intimate - more than having her fingers in Andrea. Her hips are shaking more and more.
”Emily… Emily, I…” her voice is so different from the one she uses in the office, and Emily cannot have enough of it. She kisses her once more, slowly sliding her tongue inside Andrea’s mouth. Her mouth is so soft, Emily could kiss her all day.
”Andrea…”, her walls clench around Emily’s fingers, and she can tell Andrea is seconds away from coming. Emily kisses her desperately, trying to muffle the sounds.
”I… I’m so close”
Emily moves her fingers a bit faster, uses her thumb on Andrea’s bundle of nerves, and that’s it. Andrea comes on her fingers, in her mouth, and Emily is so overwhelmed by the sight, the feeling, that she fears she is about to come herself. Andrea’s moan is raw and deep, and Emily can feel it in her own mouth. The feeling is addictive. She moves her fingers until Andrea is falling on her shoulder, completely spent.
How can they go back to being coworkers after that? Emily has no idea. As she kisses Andrea softly on the lips, she thinks about her rules, her number one rule, meant to protect her, to make sure everything stays easy and pleasurable. This is not going to be easy, but it was so worth it, Emily thinks, as she licks her fingers clean of Andrea.
Rule number 2 : never stay the night or bring someone back to your place
The three days following the first incident are awkward, and even that word is an understatement. Andrea stutters every time Emily is in the same room as her; she blushes and becomes incoherent. Even Miranda raises her eyebrows at her a few times. Emily is in no better state—every time she closes her eyes, she can see Andrea with wide-open eyes, she can hear her moaning her name. She avoids Andrea as much as she can and she is thankful for Miranda, who pushes Andrea out of the office for one errand or another for the entire first day.
Today is the third day after Emily’s slip in judgment (a delicious one, not that she would ever phrase it like that out loud). The day was long and Emily is relieved it is finally over—Miranda just exited the building and she is now leaving with Roy. The second she realizes Andrea and she are alone in the office, Emily feels a tension in the air. She would argue it is the good kind of tension, if she had not desperately tried to stay away from Andrea for the past three days. It all seems pointless now when Andrea looks at her over her screen with her big doe eyes and her kissable lips. Emily, who knows it is the worst idea she ever had, wants to take Andrea right here in the office. Where is her British elegance? It apparently disappeared when Andrea came on her hand.
Emily’s current problem can be summarized as follows:
1. They are in the office
2. Emily already broke one of her rules for Andrea and is not about to break another
3. Her second rule states that she cannot invite Andrea over to her place to satisfy her desire
Thus the only solution is to make Andrea invite her to her apartment. It does not seem to occur to Emily that she could simply not sleep with Andrea. That is not even a question anymore. Which is why she finds herself saying in the most detached tone she can summon:
”You know, Andrea, I never saw your apartment.”
Andrea looks taken aback for a second before she answers, stopping whatever she was doing on her computer, ”Well, I never saw yours either, Em.”
The nickname makes Emily weak in the knees (it’s a good thing she is currently sitting). She can remember all too well how Andrea had moaned it in her ear only three days ago. But back to her current problem,
”Of course not, but I think it is only common decency for me to check you live in an adequate place.” It sounds ridiculous, she is aware of it—Andrea is perfectly capable of deciding for herself if her apartment is suitable or not. She raises her eyebrow, challenging Andrea to judge her words. Andrea only smiles lightly - ‘gosh’, Emily thinks, she knows where this is going. It should bother her, it does not (because if Andrea realizes what is going on here then she is going to invite Emily over).
”Well if it is only to ensure I have acceptable living conditions, I guess you could come see it tonight. I happen to have a bottle of cheap red wine waiting for anyone to visit me.”
Emily nods and bites her lip to avoid smiling.
Three hours later, they are both sweaty, tangled in the cheap cotton sheets of Andrea’s bed. Emily can already imagine Andrea’s moan of contentment when she will introduce her to her own silk sheets - wait, cross that, Emily does not invite her physical intimate rendezvous persons over. She gets distracted from her thoughts when Andrea lightly kisses her shoulder before getting up, entirely naked. It seems the woman has no shame at all (and no, Emily is not devouring her with her eyes right now and she is certainly not blushing, she is merely appreciating a work of art).
”Glass of water? Or I can bring the rest of the wine.”
”I can’t drink more Andrea. Despite being British, if I drink any more I will collapse on this bed and not move before tomorrow morning.”
”Well, you’re welcome to stay the night, I’m sure I can find an awfully large Tee that you will love to criticize.” Her smile is sweet and innocent and Emily tenses - she never stays the night, it is a rule. But Andrea is smiling and the bed is warm and Emily does not really want to go back outside, nor to her cold apartment.
Before she can answer, Andrea is gone. Emily sits up in the bed, taking in the room around her (after their two glasses of wine, Emily had to admit she was not there for the decoration and so she did not really take the time to look around). It was all very Andrea - a few books in a pile next to the bed table, the faint smell of coffee and Andrea’s cinnamon shampoo, clothes scattered around.
When Andrea enters the room again, she is wearing a large flannel shirt, open on her bare body and she is carrying (somewhat clumsily) the bottle of wine and two glasses of water. Andrea smiles and before she can stop it, Emily smiles back. She gets up to take the glasses from Andrea’s hand. She forgets she is naked until she sees Andrea eyeing her like she is her favorite dessert.
They drink some more and chat about anything and everything (Andrea’s desire to be a journalist, Emily’s dream to be in the design department, a bit of Andrea’s childhood, her favourite dish—Emily listens more than she talks). Before she knows it, Emily feels her body relax, her head swinging from side to side—she warned Andrea, wine makes her sleepy, especially after good sex. She knows she should stop this and go home, but everything here feels so absurdly comfortable. She is not acutely aware of when, but at some point during the conversation, her head meets Andrea’s shoulder and it stays there. And then her hand finds its way around Andrea’s waist and her mouth hovers over Andrea’s neck. A minute later, she is fast asleep, in Andrea’s arms. So much for not staying the night.
The next morning should be awkward, it really should, Emily thinks. But it all feels pretty domestic—she wakes up in Andrea’s warm arms, she gets a kiss on the top of her head and coffee delivered to her in bed. She gets to take a shower (and gets the shower sex she never knew she needed in the morning), and a cab, called by Andrea. She arrives 10 minutes earlier than Andrea at Runway—everything feels perfectly fine. Except that she broke another rule for Andrea (if she is honest, she does not mind too much; as she said, everything feels perfectly fine). She tries not to remember how Andrea’s apartment had ridiculously felt like home.
Rule number 2 bis : never stay the night or bring someone back to your place
Rule number 2 was easy to break the first time—it was even easier to break it the second time. After sleeping at Andrea’s apartment, Emily could not stop imagining Andrea on her silk sheets. Her brown hair would be all over her pillow; Andrea would clean up in her shower, smelling like her soap and cosmetics. She would have coffee in her kitchen and she would kiss Emily sweetly on the mouth before leaving. Maybe they would even leave for Runway together. It sounds so perfect that Emily cannot resist. Which leads her to… right now.
”You know, Andrea, you’ve never seen my apartment.” Andrea smiles before she even looks up. Her tone is amused when she answers,
”I never have, indeed. Do you think I should visit it? Just to make sure you don’t live beyond your means, of course.”
”If you think it's necessary…”
It is stupid, Emily knows, to introduce the idea like that. But after all, if Andrea invites herself, she is not really bringing someone back to her place, right?
In the end, Emily was right—Andrea does look lovely in her silk sheets (and yes, Andrea did moan in contentment when being gently lowered onto the bed). Now that they have both moaned and cried out (Emily will deny being loud if asked, but she is, in fact, louder than Andrea), Emily wishes they did not have to move from this bed ever. Emily and her very specific rules when it comes to intimate rendezvous are very content with the current turn of things. After all, even if she brought Andrea home, this is still only physical, isn’t it?
Rule number 3 : the only activity was sex (no small talk)
The breaking of rule number 3 follows the breaking of rule number 2 so closely that Emily barely counts it as another breaking. In fact, did she really break that rule? Yes, she listened to Andrea talk about Miranda and her impossible demands; yes, she reacted and asked questions; yes, she added a few comments of her own regarding the challenges of their jobs. But this means nothing, right? It is not like they talked about their childhood or their first crush or anything of importance. They both work together anyway, so talking about it makes no difference at all, Emily decides.
The real breaking of the rule actually comes two days later, in Andrea’s apartment. There are no silk sheets, but Emily does not know any of the neighbors, so she can be as loud as she wants (not being ashamed of moaning Andrea’s name is for now more important than the quality of the sheets). Right at this moment, Emily has her lips somewhere near Andrea’s, too lost in her pleasure to properly kiss her. Andrea is two fingers deep in her and she looks at her with so much adoration that Emily feels like she could come just by watching Andrea look at her; it makes her borderline delirious.
”Andrea…Andrea, please.”
”Please what, Emily? Use your words for me.”
Emily feels like she needs Andrea to say something to her, but she doesn’t know how to ask for it. She feels pathetic, in the best way, as she pushes her hips faster against Andrea’s fingers.
”Please, please.”
She does not really care about begging now. She found out that begging makes Andrea go faster, harder, deeper, so she is absolutely okay with begging. And as predicted, Andrea picks up the speed of her fingers, kissing Emily’s neck, her thumb rubbing her clit.
”Emily, be a good girl and use your words.”
The feeling is instant—Emily’s legs start to tremble, her moans turn louder, and her hips lose all rhythm.
”I’m…close…Andrea, again!”
She feels Andrea’s smile against her neck and she knows she should be irritated, but the pleasure is darkening her surroundings and nothing else matters.
”Oh, Emily…my beautiful, good girl…”
She hears the beginning of a new word on Andrea’s lips, but she grabs her face and crashes their lips together to try and muffle the scream she feels coming out of her. The pleasure is overwhelming her and she presses all of herself against Andrea, trying to take as much as she can. She cannot get close enough, cannot suck Andrea’s fingers deep enough, cannot taste Andrea enough. But somehow, her body decides it is enough, as Andrea slows her movements and Emily remembers what breathing looks like. It takes her a minute (five minutes) to put some space between herself and Andrea. Andrea eases her into it, still hovering over her, kissing her lightly before collapsing next to her, her fingers somehow still intertwined with hers.
Andrea is a cuddler and a talker; Emily learned that pretty early on. So it is no surprise when Andrea’s thumb starts making little circles on Emily’s hand and she starts talking.
”You know, I never thought I would know that,” she makes a brief pause before continuing. ”I mean, I know this is just casual, but we are having a good time together, right?”
Emily only hums her approval, because what can she say? That this is probably the most comfortable she has ever felt with someone? That if she were not careful, she might catch love just like she usually catches a cold? Of course not, so she hums.
”I never thought it would be so peaceful to be… well, you know, to be with a woman…”
Emily cannot help the look of surprise on her face. She is grateful that Andrea is not able to see her face right now.
”I was raised in a Jewish household; you probably had no idea… and even though my parents are open-minded adults, being gay or bi or whatever was never really… you know… I was straight. For me, for them, for Nate, for everyone.”
Emily listens without saying anything because Andrea never opened up like that. Andrea is cheerful and childish; she is talkative and sweet, but Emily feels like she never had access to the real Andrea. And this sounds like the real Andrea, talking about her childhood, her sexuality, and everything personal. So Emily listens.
”I don’t think I ever really thought about it. I don’t know about you; I don’t even know how you identify. I think I’m bi? Does it make sense? I mean, I can find men attractive. Christian was good-looking.”
Emily doesn’t manage to stop her ‘ew,’ and it makes Andrea laugh her bright laugh.
”Oh, don’t be like that! He is! But if it makes you feel any better, you are a hundred percent more attractive than he is, Em.”
Emily smiles; she cannot help it, but she still tries to act nonchalant.
”You better find me more attractive than that utter moron, Andrea! I objectively am way better than him, or than your ex, for that matter.”
Andrea laughs again.
”Of course you are, Em, of course.” And with that, she plants a kiss on Emily’s cheek before nuzzling against her. Emily can feel her face turn pink as she puts an arm around Andrea’s waist. It is funny how she feels more at ease with her tongue on Andrea’s clit than with her arm around her as Andrea talks. For an entire minute, Emily thinks Andrea is done, and this is all she is going to get. It makes her sadder than she wants to admit. But Andrea starts again:
”It’s just… I think I was pretty sure I was going to end up with Nate. We would get married, maybe have one or two kids, and that would be it. But you opened a new door for me and now I’m wondering if maybe… I don’t know, I’m rambling, sorry Em.”
”Wondering if what?”
Andrea takes her time to answer, tracing idle circles on Emily’s thigh.
”Wondering if maybe my happiness is not with a man…”
Emily tenses a little, not because of what Andrea said, but because of what it could mean. Because what if this happiness was not just a woman but Emily herself? Emily finds that she should definitely mind more than she actually does. As she is about to say something to bring the conversation onto easier ground, she realizes how deep Andrea’s breathing has become—the brunette is asleep.
Emily sighs, but there is no real irritation in it. She decides that the 'no spending the night over' rule is not that important right now. They already broke three rules anyway. Now Andrea has talked about her childhood and her sexuality. ‘So much for sex only,’ Emily thinks, as she tightens her arms around Andrea and lets sleep reach her.
Rule number 4 : do not fall in love
As Emily slowly kisses her way down Andrea’s body, she realizes that this, right here, might be the key to her happiness. Andrea is spread on her silk sheets, eyes closed, worrying her lips between her teeth. Both of her hands are holding Emily’s, their fingers intertwined. She looks like an angel, Emily thinks. She is not ready to say anything to Andrea. If she is honest with herself, she is terrified Andrea might not be interested, might not return her feelings, might reject her. Emily is not good with rejection—she is actually terrible at it and she fears her heart would not survive another breaking. She kisses Andrea’s neck, slowly, savoring it, taking delight in the sharp little breaths Andrea is taking. And she thinks that if this is all she can have, she will take her sweet time. If all she can access is Andrea’s body, she will worship it.
She moves her kisses from Andrea’s neck to her breast, ghosting her lips over tender skin. Andrea’s fingers tighten around hers and she knows she is keeping herself from sliding her hands into Emily’s hair. She starts by leaving the tiniest kiss on the swell of there breast and when Andrea whimpers her frustration, she takes pity. Emily places wet, open-mouth kisses on the peak, before engulfing the nipple in her mouth. She sucks and Andrea cries out. And oh, she thinks, she will never get tired of this.
”Em…”, her name moaned like that by Andrea, who still keeps her eyes closed, is everything Emily could ever want.
”Andrea,” Emily murmurs against her skin and it makes Andrea let out a tiny whimper. Emily smiles before starting a kiss line from Andrea’s breast to her belly. She will never say this out loud, but she loves Andrea’s belly. She can feel the shape of slight abs but there is a slight roundness there that makes her fall in love even more. It is insane even for her, but as someone who is not confident without designer clothes on, Emily finds something beautiful in Andrea’s bare stomach. She kisses it reverently, again, and again, and again, and again until Andrea’s hips are pushing against her.
”I thought you liked it slowly, Andrea. You always ask me to slow down…”, Emily hears the sharp inhale of Andrea above her and she smiles once again.
”I do, I do, but I feel like I’m going to combust here, Em.” And to make her point, she presses her hips against Emily’s leg. Emily can feel the heat radiating from her. She knows she could make Andrea come hard and fast by sliding her hand down and rubbing for just a few minutes. She would not even have to go in. But she wants to savor Andrea tonight.
“No, no Andrea. I will go slow, so slow you will beg me to take you” – ‘so slow you will feel all my love,’ Emily thinks. She brings one of her hands to Andrea’s cheek as she comes back up to kiss her softly on the lips. Andrea tries to put passion into the kiss but Emily slows her down, moving her lips oh so slowly. She licks Andrea’s bottom lip before softly pushing her tongue inside. She tastes Andrea and she moans against her (Emily was always louder after all). She wishes this could last forever. But she feels Andrea’s hips and their desperate rhythm against her own thigh. She hears Andrea whimpering against her lips every time her core meets Emily’s leg. Emily decides to take mercy on Andrea.
She once again kisses her way down her body. She stops at the breasts, biting softly before soothing with her tongue. Tomorrow, Andrea’s entire torso will look like a purple star constellation. Emily cannot help but smile at the idea—Andrea will be marked by her. Andrea will bear the physical evidence of Emily’s love. If Andrea wasn’t that oblivious, Emily thinks, she could see Emily’s feelings. After all, she should know that Emily is not the type to mark her lovers. Just because she is slightly upset now, she bites harder. She is afraid she might bring blood to the surface of the skin. She doesn’t; what she does bring, however, is a sharp, low groan from Andrea. Followed by:
“Emily… ah… I swear to God if you don’t touch me right now I’ll do it myself.”
Emily laughs (it sounds more like a giggle, but Emily Charlton is not a person who giggles, so it is a laugh),
“I am touching you, Andrea!”
Andrea wiggles her hips in a very unladylike way, but she seems ready to do just about anything to get some friction.
“Emily please… please…”
“Please what?”
“Emily! Someone who loved me would already have their fingers or their tongue in me!” Andrea whines.
Andrea still has her eyes closed, but after a few seconds of no response and the sudden lack of touch on her body, she opens them.
“Em, are you okay? Did I say something?”
‘Of course you did, you moron’ is what Emily wants to say. But how can she explain that the word ‘love’ in Andrea’s mouth makes her want to cry, especially when it does not mean what Emily wants it to mean? Emily opens her mouth, then closes it. Confusion paints her face as she detaches herself from Andrea, sitting on her thighs. The change in situation seems to have completely sobered Andrea up—she isn’t the moaning mess she was just a few seconds ago.
”Is it because I said ‘love’?” She sits up, which only brings her closer to Emily. They are at eye level now. Emily can see the sweat that formed at Andrea’s temples. She wants to kiss it away. This is not the time for this conversation. She briefly wonders if she could just kiss it away - she doesn't. She decides to stare at her hands in the end. Andrea continues,
”Maybe it was not the right word. I’m sorry, Em. I know you said this is only physical. It was the throes of passion. You know how I am, I talk nonsense all the time and…”
Emily interrupts her, still looking at her hands,
”Nonsense? Is that what loving me would be, Andrea? Nonsense?” And without waiting for an answer, Emily slowly starts getting off Andrea’s lap. And to think the night had started so well. But instead of taking what she could and enjoying Andrea’s orgasm, her moans, her mouth, Emily had ruined it. She does not dare look at Andrea and her beautiful naked body. She feels dirty and awkward, but she thanks God for still wearing her underwear. Being naked right now would only make things worse.
”Emily, wait!”
Her feet touch the floor and she still refuses to look at Andrea—better save herself the humiliation. But that’s forgetting that Andrea is… well, Andrea. Emily is forced to finally set her eyes on her when a very naked Andrea surges forward to grab her wrist.
”Emily!”
”Andrea, it’s fine, but I think it is better if you…” she is about to say ‘go’, but Andrea cuts her off with a kiss. Emily wants to protest, but Andrea is a really good kisser and for a second she forgets she is upset. She kisses back with all she has because she is in love and she cannot resist Andrea.
When Andrea is finally done shutting Emily up, Emily can feel the smile on her own mouth.
”Loving you would not be nonsense, Emily; not loving you would be.”
For a very long minute, Emily’s brain stops working. Andrea said ‘loving’ and she said it like she meant it, and Emily does not know how to deal with that. Rule number 4 was clear—do not fall in love. But here she is, completely and utterly in love, in front of someone who might be in love with her too, and suddenly rule number 4 seems ridiculous. Emily is still standing, the hand of a still very naked Andrea on her wrist.
”Emily, could you say something? Because right now I feel a bit awkward, and if you don’t feel anything for me it is okay, but then I’d like to put some clothes on. So can you say something? Anything, actually.” And Emily can hear Andrea is spiraling again, so she does the most effective thing she can (and yes, she is stealing Andrea’s idea here) - she kisses Andrea. She kisses her with passion, deeply, and then she kisses her some more. And when finally Andrea is so breathless she cannot speak, body pressed flushed against Emily’s, only then does Emily speak.
”I had four rules regarding people I sleep with, Andrea. Four very simple rules, and I broke every single one of them for you.” Andrea is about to say something, but Emily simply puts her index finger on her lips, effectively shutting her up.
”I’m not done. Rule number four is ‘do not fall in love,’ and I swear, Andrea, I did my best to follow this rule. But you are impossible not to love. So I really hope you meant you have feelings for me because I just declared my love to you in the most absurd way.”
Andrea somehow manages to press her body deeper into Emily’s. When Emily meets her eyes, Andrea’s are shiny and her smile is bigger than anything Emily ever saw. And she knows before Andrea even says it.
”Emily Charlton, I thereby declare my love to you.” And they both burst out laughing.
After the few minutes it takes them to calm down, Andrea shoots a sheepish look at Emily,
”Now that we resolved the love situation, I think you still owe me an orgasm!”
Emily smiles before taking Andrea’s hand and leading her right back to bed.
The conclusion of this, Emily thinks, is that sometimes, rules are no good at all. Emily Charlton was good at following rules, and apparently, she is even better at not following them.