Chapter Text
“I left the baby at Redmont, Crowley.” He leveled me a look and I pulled my gaze into a corner in the room, “There wasn’t another place that I could go, and just leave a baby. What else was I supposed to do? I can’t take care of a baby?” I couldn’t even take care of my troops
He grunts returning to his report that he’s been filling out for the better part of an hour, “Crowley I don’t feel like you’re listening to me, was there a better way to-”
“Halt.”
My lips pursed together, saying nothing. Crowley you have to listen to me. How many people did I fail, why is the count reaching higher every day. “You did what you could, with the circumstances handed to you. Yes, taking him to Redmont was most likely the best decision.” He met my gaze for a moment longer before turning back to his paper, exaggeratedly picking his quill back up and pointedly continuing his writing.
A slurry of doubts still followed what he said and I furrowed my brows together, “But are you sure? I-”
“Halt.” I’m silenced once again and I uncharacteristically slump back into my chair, unbeknownst to Halt, Crowley’s eyes crinkle through his facade of not-caring, the unsaid thought hovering between them, Halt, I’m worried about you.
The silence was deafening for only a few minutes before the fidgeting had Crowley waving him out the door, “Halt, go back to your cabin. Take a few days off, you deserve it.” he pauses for a moment waving the paper he was working on in the air, and then stacking it gently on top of the rest of them, “And when you’re done with those few days I’ve set up a meeting with a professional."
At that he hands me the stack of papers and I numbly take it, shock rattling through me, “Crowley I’m not- I don’t need-” He cuts me off with a wave of his hand, his face hardset.
“After you go to this professional then I’ll know that you’re ready for more cases.” I scowl in his direction, but say nothing. Only burrowing deeper into my cloak, the familiar greens and browns provided a slight solace.
The papers crease in my grip for a moment, before I glance down at the familiar looping handwriting, “Alright, I’ll go.”
~ ~ ~
Arrow after arrow is sent from Will’s direction and a sort of terror seizes my throat as I watch the boar get ever closer to him. No-
Channeling the precision I only ever have when I’m utterly terrified I send a single shot straight into the boar’s heart and slide off my horse and onto the ground. please be okay, I’m sorry I brought you here you have to be okay I can’t lose-
Gathering Will in my arms I never want to let him go, please don’t leave me - I can’t fail you too , his form shakes slightly in my arms and I feel the slight bit of tears staining my shirt. Oh you poor boy, I’m sorry I almost hurt you .
The knights from the hunt gathered around and started cheering, a couple of them leaning down to violently pat Will on the shoulder as congratulations but a vicious glare from me pulled most of them away.
His form shuddered in my grasp one last time before his face flushed with obvious embarrassment, shifting eer so slightly out of my grip. And I let him. you’re just a boy, of course you’re terrified It’s okay Will I have you.
He moves completely out of my arms and for a moment my life flashes to the dark, quiet cabin that I’ve had for far too long. Don’t leave me. but I let him go even as grief, however unrealistic it may be, crawls up my throat.
I watch as he makes amends with his friend, both choosing to mature and grow past their differences and a warm feeling emanates through me. Friendships made like that one will last them through their lives. I watch for a moment before turning to Baron Alrald, no words are said - at least for a moment, but for that split second we’re both imagining a world without the bright light of Will.
He trades me a gruff nod of his head before moving in to congratulate will on his bravery with the other knights following behind - still wary of my gaze.
I’ve only had him for a moment, but he’s managed to even get me to see what a magnificent child he is. And a magnificent ranger he will be.
~~~
Will’s constant stream of chatter fills the nights in ways that haven’t happened in a long while. It’s kind of nice having something to fill the silence, it's been a bit too long since Gilan visited. He has his actual family to worry about, why would he worry about you?
His hands flex as he talks, momentarily still in his waving around miming the stories his words are painting. They must be sore from practice, I’ll have to teach him how to stretch his wrists and hands sometime tomorrow.
He talks a lot with his hands - that might be nice when he’s explaining things later in his Ranger career. Stop analyzing him. You’ll drive him away the more you do.
He continues to rattle along, shifting to some story in his dreams, something that he thought I’d find interesting. I do find it interesting, why can’t I act like I find it interesting.
The flames were slowly dying in the fireplace and I let them, We should be heading to bed soon anyways. I refocus on the conversation as he now chatters on about his friends, the constant flitting from topic to topic resembling a bird, or a butterfly flitting from thought to thought and how he’s concerned about Horace.
… hmm Horace is the one from the boar hunt yes? That wasn’t too long ago, maybe they’d like to practice sometime. I've heard he’s excelling (mostly) He’s also the one that fought Will at the festival.
Something about how every time (however sparse) he catches glimpses of him he seems more downtrodden than the last. I’ll have to check with the Battlemaster about that.
The silence in the cabin is shocking for a moment as my thoughts dissipate and my attention once again settles back into the room. Will is staring at his feet, and for a moment I wonder if I’ve done something to offend him.
“Will?” I try to soften my tone but it’s been far too long since I’ve had a child to worry about; my voice is gruff and almost interrogative and I cringe. His head snaps up with a questioning look. I struggle to find the words to say, instead cringing all the while I say, “I think that’s enough chattering for one night, time to head in - you’ll be up on time tomorrow I presume?”
For a moment his face has several emotions pass through before settling on a clearly forced accepting smile, “Okay, Halt.” we really need to work on his acting skills. He flicks his eyes toward me once more before settling on the ground again.
I open my mouth to say- I’m not sure what I wanted to say, he lets out a quiet sigh before standing up and ever so quietly walking to his room. I watch him out of the corner of my hood, the fire’s embers no longer enough to keep the cold from creeping in.
I wrap my Ranger cloak tighter around me, it’s about time that boy got some sleep. I huff to myself, reaching for my coffee on the table.
It had gone cold from the hours of speaking, but I didn’t mind. I’d rather listen to him talk for hours, than have one warm cup of coffee. Still I let out a deeper sigh, relaxing into the semi-quiet of the cabin.
I don’t know quite yet, but I think I might’ve made the right decision.