Archive of Our Own

What he felt for Hirose was somewhat dehumanizing, if he was honest with himself.

More than a cheerful boy of his age, he saw him as an adorable puppy who deserved to be pampered and loved as the pet he was. Or a handsome but plasticized idol, carefully manufactured to attract looks of admiration and sell a lot of merchandise. He liked to collect his photos and his erasers as women love to buy photocards and collectible posters. Something banal, something entertaining that filled him with energy and made him bear the heavy expectations of his family in him.

That's why he wasn't very affected by hearing that Hirose had a girlfriend.

He expected it, a boy like him was meant for a girl like Sakamoto,her name according to his research. Small, delicate, sweet and with a melodious voice. average, boring.

The one who was really affected much more was his new rival, Nakamura Okuto.

O-ku-to. A name as interesting as the guy who owned it. Of course he had researched him, he had to know the kind of people who surrounding his good friend Aiki, right? And so he had captivated his attention in a novel way.

He had taken his time to analyze him, his schedule was very tight and he did not want to raise suspicions by canceling anything, although he had missed the monthly date he had with Aiki, but he had not realized it, to no one's surprise.

Okuto had a very marked routine. He went from his house to school, from school to his house. A couple of times he veered at the end of classes to enter the nearby bookstore, would buy what was apparently a BL manga and go home again. Matsumura learned the manga's name and it was not long before he read it in its entirety, eager to know the tastes of the other boy.

On another occasion, he went to the pet store near the train station and entered, leaving with a heavy paper bag. Matsumura later entered, showing off his charisma and good face to get information from the girl who was attending the store. After a while of bland flirtation and rehearsaling the girl mentioned that almost no one bought food for octopuses, but the boy who had left seemed to follow a strict schedule and visited the store every two weeks. Matsumura smiled and wrote down that new information in his mind, already eager to read as many articles about cephalopods as he could.

Something inside him was a little too glad for how lonely Nakamura was, It made things easier for when he was researching him. But at the same time he didn’t understand the reason, he was very handsome and, taking away his adorable nervousness, he was someone extremely attractive.

Mysterious and lonely boy, depressed and saddened by the bad news about his crush. His thin face, delicate but sharp in appearance, always with an apathetic and serious expression. It looked like a work of art, a statue carved in cold, marble soft to the touch, hidden behind a silky curtain of jet-haired hair sharply trimmed with a natural and delicate fall.

Thin body that promised to be shoulder width and narrow waist when developing, porcelain skin without imperfections in sight, sharp eyes of deep gaze that concealed an ethereal sadness. That boy was a beauty wrapped in a halo of mystery.

And, when that thought crossed Matsumura’s mind one day when he returned home after following Nakamura and making sure he entered his home, he realized that he had fallen in love with him.

Oh.

He hadn’t even realized when or how it had happened. The feeling was silent, not like when he became obsessed with Hirose, which was pure noise and fireworks. This was interwoven into his system as if it already belonged inside him, something he had not found for years that finally filled a void.

It was a very warm feeling, contrary to the superficial happiness that Hirose gave him, a delicious pain in his chest informed him that this time was different. Maturity shaping his new obsession, hastily and causing vertigo when he realize that this was more serious, more intense.

He loved Nakamura. Not like Hirose, he wanted to see Nakamura make other expressions, like that December afternoon when he didn’t love him yet. Remembering the great range of grimaces he made that day almost gave him an erection. He wanted to hold his hand and make love to him every night. Seeing how his actions would paint a delicious carmine color in his perfectly carved features, warm tears falling from his eyes.

he needed him, urgently.

he wouldn't make the same mistakes he made with Hirose, Nakamura had no chance to escape from him, he would make sure of that.

He began to come up with a simple plan that would make Nakamura fall into his arms in less time than it would take Aiki to break with that bland woman who called a girlfriend. To be fair, they were made for each other. He would be the savior that Nakamura needed, he would give him the excitement and intensity that his life needed.

He pretended that Aiki had forgotten to cancel a date with him and he waited outside of the high school by checking his cell phone from time to time, which made Nakamura to stop and inform him that it was already a little late and stupid to still be pining for Hirose, as one who announces that a close relative died. Matsumura feigned sadness and proposed to go for an ice cream to the other boy, who doubted for a moment but when he saw Hirose and Hana holding hands he nodded and followed him.

He surprised the boy of the sad eyes with little glances at his vast knowledge of octopuses, seeing his eyes brightening even if it was a little, almost losing control right there and kissing him. With a kind and rehearsed smile he sweet talked to him, asking him innocent questions, flattering comments, letting him have a glimpse that there were more things besides Aiki.

Although Nakamura was not completely fooled. The boy was smart and cautious, asking tricky and suspicious questions suspecting how and why the sudden interest in octopuses and himself. He was falling in love with every eloquent response he released with sarcasm in the face of Matsumura's attempts to deflect the subject, to show him that he was really interested or that everything was a happy coincidence.

Even so, he accepted the ice cream or coffee every time he could go see him at the end of his school day and when he did not have sports training or work with his club. They had fun, despite being discovered almost too quickly. He assumed that he was a good distraction for a broken heart.

He wanted to distract him more.

One day he gave him a music record, the kind that nobody ever buys in stores, buzzed with an eternal discount and the price stickers half peeled off. It had a scandalous topography announcing JPop’s best hits of the 1980s, romantic and pop music, cheesy and old-fashioned. Everything that Nakamura probably liked.

And so he liked it. He held it as if it were something precious, expensive and unique and made him shine and dispel the depressed aura that always seemed to follow him. He wanted to kiss him. But his smile dimmed and he looked at Matsumura with suspicion

“How did you know I like 80's music?”

“Please, you look like a guy pulled out of an 80s anime. It's even romantic music, look.”

Nakamura frowned and squeezed the CD box against his chest, offended

“So what with that?”

“Well, it’s obvious that you’re a hopeless romantic, Nakamura. I'm glad to know that I got you right in your taste.”

He didn’t use to wear headphones, they hadn’t gone to karaoke on their after-school dates, and they hardly had any conversations about themselves, more comfortable arguing about nonsense. So Matsumura was very satisfied to guess a small part of the personality that Nakamura wrapped in mystery without the need for espionage or harassment. A step in the right direction.

Nakamura didn't know how to react. Never in his life no one had ever taken enough interest in him to hear him speak for hours, much less that another person took the time to analyze him and try to guess his tastes. He felt flattered, yes and much. But also, was a stalker who he was talking about. For him it was easy to analyze people that way and have them in the palm of his hand.

“Well, yes, you did. Thank you for the gift” he gently took the disc and carefully removed the price sticker, to distract himself and not look Matsumura directly in the eyes “By the way, we've been going out for a couple of weeks... right? It's kind of stupid to ask this by now, but why?”

Matsumura's silence was deafening.

“I mean, I thought it was to distract us a little bit from the pain of knowing that Hirose is, well, straight” continuous murmuring Nakamura, with a delicious blush painting his ivory face. “But you don't look so depressed. It makes me think you have other intentions.”

Matsumura felt lava running through his veins when he saw Nakamura that insecure, thinking that he was not worthy to spend time with someone else without feeling miserable or suspicious of the other’s intentions. So beautiful, so innocent.

He wanted to wreck him. It would be so easy.

Had a little gift made him this cute? He could almost feel a small twitch of arousal in his member when he thought about the possibilities.

Unfortunately for the gloomy boy, Matsumura had in fact, other intentions.

But he redirected the subject and assure him he was a good friend, not wanting to reveal anything. Still.

His chance came a week later. It was Friday, his father was not home since Thursday and would not arrive until Monday for a business trip.his mother asked him that morning if he wanted to accompany her after school to his aunt’s house, who lived in another prefecture. Matsumura made the excuse of wanting to study with a friend and spend the weekend with him, so his mother agreed and informed him what would go in a few hours to get ahead on the way.

Matsumura almost vibrated to the expectation of having Nakamura at home for a full weekend. It would not be difficult to bring him, the problem was that their friendship had still not advanced enough to take the next step. The blushes and stutterers were sweet, but Matsumura died from having him under his body and hearing his whimpers.

He would take a chance, after all Nakamura had few or no friends outside of him, his family was not a great support network and now Matsumura was the only trusted person he had. He didn't think he could get away from him even if he wanted to.

So he managed and went to his school with the mood in the air, waiting impatiently for classes to finish to run to the train station and pick up Nakamura to take him straight home.

Maybe he should tell him about the sleepover to bring clothes and toiletries from his house, but he preferred to lend his and see him drowning in his own clothes smelling like his perfume. In addition, he had a new toothbrush stored in his bathroom. It would be enough with that.

All day he spent thinking about plans, topics of conversation and how he would convince him to go home, so the hours flew by and finally he found himself in front of Nakamura high school, waiting for him and ignoring the curious glances of the other students.

Suddenly he saw silky black hair among all the other students in the background, standing out for its shine in the sun and the gentle way it move along the wind. He saw his face and noticed that he looked a little more decayed than usual, which greatly benefited him that day. He greet him with a gesture of his hand when he was close enough to him, Nakamura looked up from the ground and when he saw him smiled a little and returned the greeting timidly as he approached.

“hi the-”

“Do you want to go to my house?”

The question came out run over and quick, leaving Nakamura speechless for a moment. He was dubious, turning his eyes to the side and then shrugged.

“eh, sure. Let me tell my mom.”

They walked to the train station, Matsumura spoke quickly and nervously, which did not give any good feeling to Nakamura.He rarely looked that anxious, a dark suspicion grew inside and for a tense moment he hesitated to continue with the plan, but he did not want to ruin the atmosphere and seem ungrateful.

Anyway, that day he planned to spend it lying in his bed, listening to sad songs when he thought of Hirose and the daring way that Hana had spent all the lunchtime sitting on his lap that day.

he didn’t judge them, but he was very envious of the way that was a normal thing for them to act like that.

They boarded the train and Matsumura did not take off from his side at all, his colony tickling his nose. He never thought of using perfume or anything himself, but assuming that Matsumura was quite attractive and that he was surrounded by people all day was normal. Hirose didn’t use anything either, he remembered the natural but sweet smell that emanated that day that he decided to smelled him when they were locked up.

Maybe it was good that he couldn’t date Hirose, he couldn’t imagine him doing something like that or allowing him to do something like that. He was a pretty normal boy. Matsumura, on the other hand… the though give him the creeps. They finally arrived at the station that Matsumura told him was not far from his home. Nakamura doubted that he would try to do something inappropriate in his home, he doubted that he would get so abrasive and heavy when his mother or family were present. Anyway, he had never hinted or tried anything out of the ordinary.

But sometimes he was paralyzed by his eyes.

When he pretended to be distracted by something else, watching the menu when they went out to eat or just sitting around laughing at something unimportant.

He suddenly felt Matsumura’s heavy gaze on him, almost burning his skin and making him feel exposed. But he wasn’t going to complain, after all he didn’t go beyond that.

After sending his mother a quick message letting her know he'd be late and asking her to feed Icchan for him, he was surprised at how low the sun had set and how far away Matsumura's house was. He felt a pang of emotion thinking that his friend traveled that long way almost every day to spend time with him.

He let go of his breath when they reached a large house, with a beautiful garden and a stone path that both boys walked by. Nakamura was surprised, he had never been in such a place.

Upon reaching the front door, alarm bells started ringing in his head when Matsumura unlocked the door with his own keys instead of knocking. But he tried to calm himself, thinking that perhaps his family wouldn't hear him if he knocked.

They entered and both took off their shoes, Nakamura politely greeting loudly.

“ah, don’t worry. There's no one at home.”

Paranoia and fear filled Nakamura with anxiety as he followed Matsumura up close to the kitchen. The house was huge inside, well maintained and free of dust and clutter. They probably had people to take care of the cleaning, right?

As if he had read his mind, Matsumura spoke

“I’m sorry if you see something out of place, the maid has been indisposed for a couple of days. Come, we should eat something before we start.”

He opened the refrigerator and began to take out the food and some vegetables that his mother left him to eat, oblivious to the crisis that his guest was having behind him.

“Sit down. Let me re heat the food.”

Nakamura dropped as tight as a board on the table, leaving his backpack in the chair next to him. This couldn't be happening to him, could it? Was it a trap? The only thing he knew was that they had been go out to friendly dates for two or three weeks, Matsumura never hinted at wanting anything else or advancing their relationship. They didn't even mention Hirose. He didn’t understand, his mind was frantic when a steaming plate appeared in front of him.He look up and Matsumura smiled at him.

“I hope you like katsudon. Here's the sauce.”

He place the jar of sauce, glasses of water and his own plate in front of him, sitting face to face and thanking for the food. Nakamura imitated him and tasted a bite, surprising himself with how good the food tasted and forgetting the danger he was in.

“Wow, your mom cooks really well.”

“sure she does, she hadn't been doing it lately because they hired a woman to help at home, but as I told you, she's sick and had to start to cook again. Dad is going through a difficult time at work, and she wants to help him as much as possible.”

Nakamura made a sound to show that he was listening to him because he was very busy chewing the food, thinking about his own family and how similar they were, although clearly separated by social classes and status.

After eating Nakamura insisted on washing the dishes, not comfortable with leaving them there and giving unnecessary work to his friend’s mother. Matsumura helped him and at the end they both went to Matsumura's room.

Nakamura was surprised by the size of his room, in the well arranged items but was more surprised when he saw that he had neither a photo of Hirose, nor his erasers or anything of him.He was dubious, thinking he kept them hidden. Even so when they were both sitting at a low table in the center of Matsumura’s room, taking out their notebooks he asked.

“May I ask why you hided your... uh... the collectibles of Hirose? I mean, I know you have several things from him.”

Matsumura smiled but continued not to look at Nakamura, busy taking his supplies out of his backpack.

“ah, I don’t know if you will belive me at all but I already threw them in the trash.”

Nakamura's breath caught in his throat, thinking about all the photos and chocolate he had thrown away when he found out Hirose was dating Hana.

“Oh, I did the same thing when I found out too”

Matsumura finally looked at him, in a serious way.

“The truth is, I've fallen in love with someone else. This time, more deeply.”

Nakamura felt his heart pound in his chest as Matsumura stood up and approached him, sitting beside him without breaking eye contact.

“I've fallen in love with you, Nakamura. I don't know when it happened, but my feelings are real and very strong. Please accept them.”

He felt his face burn with shame and he looked away. Sure, he was a very attractive boy, but he knew that deep down Hirose would always be something between the two, a shared wound that might never close completely, to start a relationship with circumstances like that did not seem right to Nakamura.

“I-eh-”

“Don’t try to deny that you don’t feel the same. I've been watching you.”

His world stopped abruptly as he stared into those dark eyes, like the coldest abyss staring back at him, sending a shiver down his spine. He swallowed hard nervously.

“Watching me?”

“You blush, you stutter, you daydream, you overanalyze everything I say and do, your face lights up when you see me. Denying it won't get you anywhere.”

He felt a lump form in his throat with each new piece of evidence Matsumura placed in his face with his voice raspy with need, drawing closer, their breath brushing against each other's lips. Nakamura jerked away and tried to stand, feeling exposed, but Matsumura grabbed his arm and pulled him down onto the taller boy's knees.

“Just stop wasting both of our time and be mine already.”

Nakamura blushed but jump up and tried to walk to the door, outraged by the way Matsumura acted as if he had the power to command over his heart.He might be starting to like him a little, but he didn't think he could forget Hirose anytime soon, if ever.

He felt his wrist again being pulled roughly and bumping against a warm chest enveloped in the scent of cologne.

“Kiss me.”

His discomfort reached a high point.

“Let go of me! Love doesn't work like that. You can't demand anything from me and I'm not will be forced to reciprocate your feelings.”

“But I’m not forcing you into anything, I know you love me too.”

He was upset that it was partly true. Still, that didn't give him the right to demand anything from him. He knew how perverted he could be and Nakamura didn’t want his second great romance to be nothing but groping, kissing, and other inappropriate stuff.Sure, that stuff was still appealing to him; he was a hormonal teenager. But he was only a few years away from adulthood, and he wanted to at least experience the nicer side of a relationship. Holding hands, going on dates, having matching keychains… cheesy things that he doubted the pervert in front of him cared about.

He broke free from Matsumura's grip and shoved him hard, but Matsumura wouldn't let go, and they both tumbled to the floor in a tangle of long limbs. Something, a self-preservation instinct, kicked in within Nakamura, and he began to struggle, but Matsumura didn't stay still and responded in kind.

They wrestled on the floor, rolling carelessly across Matsumura's bedroom floor, bumping into furniture, the bed, and nearly knocking the heavy textbooks onto the coffee table. Nakamura was strong, but Matsumura felt he wasn't putting up much of a fight. He knew this boy was incredibly strong when he was really angry, so the superficial resistance only served to turn him even more on, making it clear that Nakamura was dying to be dominated by Matsumura but was too afraid to accept it outright. Matsumura renewed his efforts to get on top of him, holding him by the wrists.

Nakamura, on the other hand, felt like he was going to die at any moment. The absolute terror he felt was paralyzing, not only were they completely alone in that enormous house, but the nearest houses were far away. If he screamed, it was useless and would only tire him out. He couldn't push Matsumura away completely because his nerves and the knot of terror in his throat prevented him from using his full strength. Furthermore, he felt that an unexpected arousement was slowly interweaving itself through his nerves as he felt the heavy body of that attractive boy on top of him, the suffocating heat emanating from Matsumura causing him to blush reluctantly. He mentally cursed his hormones.

This could not be happening to him. The last thing he wanted was to be trapped with that perverted lunatic, in his house, all alone.

Matsumura buried his face in Nakamura’s neck and began to leave a trail of rough kisses, climbing up the red face of the boy on the ground, who was trying to push him and turn away but could not go very far due to the iron grip that Matsumura had on his wrists.

“STOP!”

“no”

Matsumura pulled back to look at him, admiring how flushed and agitated he looked despite his frown and his twisted mouth. He smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

“Don’t pretend you don’t like this, Nakamura.”

He felt the boy beneath him squirm, so he shifted his full weight on top of him and began to rub his obvious erection with his leg, listening to the delicate gasp that escaped him involuntarily.

“Did you hear that? You want me, you just don't want to admit it.”

He released one of Nakamura's wrists, taking advantage of the paralyzing shame that held him still, and gently placed his hand on his friend's erection. Nakamura's head fell back, and he groaned at the delicate yet firm touch on his manhood. He gripped Matsumura's shirt collar without thinking.

“Do you feel this? Don't ever deny what I make you feel.”

He noticed that the boy’s eyes filled with tears under him, but he stopped in his escape attempts

“This is a normal reaction due to contact and hormones. And no... I don't deny that you're starting to caught my attention, but you're going very fast!”

Matsumura almost vibrated with emotion when he heard that, feeling the closeness of the boy of his dreams, his erection in his hand, and feeling the smaller hands tangled in his shirt, holding him tightly. He was unsure whether he wanted to push him away and run to the door or pull him into a hug.

“I'm sorry, but I'm not going to stop. Not when you practically confessed your feelings to me so perfectly. So what if I'm going too fast? I'll make you mine today, and we can go on a date tomorrow. We have a whole life ahead of us; it doesn't matter if we do things without order.”

Nakamura was speechless, his mind completely blank as he stared into those onyx eyes that seemed like deep abysses. He never imagined being in a situation like this, and he wasn't sure he wanted to stay. As much as he'd finally admitted he liked Matsumura, the situation was too rushed, and he didn't like that at all. He wanted his shounen ai romance to unfold slowly, damn it.

Matsumura bent down to kiss him, but Nakamura pulled away, determined to resist as long as he could.

“Wait, listen to me. I'm telling you for real, I still don't get over Hirose and what I feel for you is confusing. This is going too far!!”

“Just let yourself be Nakamura, turn off that huge brain of yours” Matsumura’s hand was still stroking his clothed member while kissing Nakamura's neck, ignoring his discomfort. “I don't plan on ever letting you go. I accept that you still love Hirose, I'll make sure you fall more in love with me than he ever did”

His heart pounded at Matsumura's actions and words. Should he believe him? Was he just saying that to use him and never speak to him again? His mind was a mess, and his heart ached, still frightened by Matsumura's swift actions. The vertigo in his stomach wouldn't subside; it only intensified when he felt Matsumura's hands unbutton his gakuran.

Between struggles, he managed to pull off the top of his uniform and undo his belt, but Nakamura kept pushing him away and writhing to stop him. Matsumura wasn't in a hurry; he was thoroughly enjoying running his hands over the slender body beneath him, caressing his face, and admiring his expressions. This boy was his downfall. He was quickly becoming addicted to the soft sounds escaping the tempting lips beneath him, dying to kiss him until he was breathless, but Nakamura did not give in for anything.

The position they were in, lying on the uncomfortable floor, was starting to bother him. He figured Nakamura was in even more pain and wasn't going to let that continue. He stopped and stood up, leaving the other boy confused on the floor. Suddenly, Matsumura crouched down and, slipping his arms under Nakamura's long legs and tense back, lifted him without much effort. Nakamura let out a scream and instinctively held on to the taller boy.

Matsumura took a couple of long steps and threw Nakamura onto his bed, hearing the small groan he let out as he crashed into the mattress. Coming out of his confusion, Matsumura rummaged for the lubricant he kept on his nightstand and, finding it, threw it on the bed next to a blushing Nakamura.

He felt the shy boy's eyes fixed on him, so he decided to put on a bit of a show by undressing slowly. He smiled arrogantly when he noticed Nakamura staring at his abs as he opened his shirt, then took it off and threw it away. He proceeded to remove his belt, and as he unzipped his pants, Nakamura finally looked away and covered his eyes with his arm.

He finished undressing completely and pounced on the bed, on top of Nakamura, who let out a scream and uncovered his face, staring at the boy above him, a violent blush spreading across his face at the surreal situation. Matsumura's hands quickly opened Nakamura's shirt and unzipped his pants, now looser without the belt. With a quick movement, he grabbed the waistband along with his boxers and pulled everything down in one swift motion, taking his socks with them, leaving the gloomy boy naked from the waist down, his shirt exposing his torso. His abs weren't as defined as Matsumura's, but they were noticeable. His erection was fully erect.

Nakamura tried to cover himself with his arms and attempted to cross his legs, but Matsumura's large body on top of him prevented him.

“Stop it!”

Matsamura devoured him with his eyes. He ran his thumbnails over Nakamura's hard nipples, eliciting a broken moan from him, then his hands moved lower, caressing the smooth skin, fascinated by how quickly it bristled with arousement. Nakamura no longer pushed him away, more focused on drowning out the obscene sounds escaping his fleshy lips, his hands tangled in the pillow. Finally, his hands moved from his hips to his member, swollen, red, and throbbing. He stroked it slowly, causing the boy beneath him to writhe and finally release the tears, giving him an angelic appearance.

He would never let him go.

He fondly kissed his face, wet with sweat and tears, with burning tenderness, savoring the salt as if it were the best flavor in the world. Perhaps it was, but he had something else he wanted to try, so without waiting any longer, he lowered his head, leaving a trail of soft kisses until he reached Nakamura's neglected member, engulfing it in one swift motion.

The shy boy let out a sob intertwined with a loud moan and tangled his slender fingers in Matsumura's well-groomed curls, but he didn't do much to hurt him or push him away, too busy drowning in the strange and intense sensations that filled his mind. He felt as if his blood were boiling, his heart pounding violently in his chest. Sounds he couldn't hear over the deafening roar of his blood rushing through him escaped his mouth without a care, sweetening and encouraging Matsumura to continue sucking and licking his manhood.

Matsumura moved his head carefully so as not to hurt him with his teeth, fighting back the urge to gag as the piece of meat reached the back of his throat and his nose was buried in the dark curls of his pubic hair. He was quickly intoxicated by its intense flavor and delicious aroma, seriously thinking that he would never tire of it, of hearing those hot laments or of that intense taste. He took hold of the shaft while licking the sensitive tip and stroke it from top to bottom, and with a final stifled cry, he felt the bitter taste of semen fill his mouth without warning. He swallowed like a thirsty man down to the last drop, staring into the tear-filled eyes that looked at him with surprise and unease.

The mortification left Nakamura petrified; the only movement in him was his chest, rising and falling with his violent breaths as he tried to regain his composure or his breath. He could recover neither. Before he could say anything, he felt Matsumura caress his sensitive member again, for it had not yet gone limp. He let his head fall into the pillow and cried out in pain.

“No, no, wait—”

“Shh, I know you can give me another one, love. I can't get enough of you, come on. I know you can.”

His breath caught in his throat as he heard Matsamura and felt his erection twitch with the movement and the words. His hips moved on their own, reluctantly wrapped in pleasure, and he closed his eyes to try to escape that penetrating gaze that pierced him with morbid fascination.

Matsumura wasn't doing any better, carelessly kissing the length of his friend and trying to keep his own erection from rubbing too much against the sheets. He didn't want to feel pleasure himself before he managed to bring Nakamura to another orgasm.

He looked at him and almost lost his composure at the sight of his obscene face and his teary, half-closed eyes, as if he couldn't meet his gaze, completely lost in pleasure. Their eyes met, and that was enough to make Nakamura's body shudder violently, and he came again, wetting Matsumura's hand. The taller boy brought his hand to his mouth and licked it, much to Nakamura's horror.

“Now—now, let me go.”

“Never. We're just getting started.”

Matsumura moved closer to Nakamura and buried his face in his neck, licking the sweat and scraping his skin with his teeth. Nakamura was feeling weak and trembling, and although he wanted to push him away, he couldn't. he just stood there, whimpering in protest, holding Matsumura's arms, and absentmindedly stroking his skin.

Suddenly, Matsumura pulled away and swiftly twirled Nakamura's body onto his stomach, ready to take advantage of the boy's apparent weakness and do whatever he wanted. He placed another pillow under Nakamura's hips to help him adjust and began pressing kisses on his back, finally removing his shirt, determined to help him to chill out before continuing. Nakamura sighed and turned his head, burying it in the pillow. Matsumura moved down his spine to his cheeks, grasping them and spreading them to reveal his tight, pink entrance. Nakamura tried to move, resuming his groans and scandalized sounds, but Matsumura didn’t let him go and lifted his hips even higher.

“No! Don't look there!”

He wanted to bury his tongue inside of him and bring him to another orgasm, but he figured it would be too much for the prudish Nakamura, who was already flushed. He'd do it another day.

So, with Nakamura's chest buried in the sheets and his hips exposed, Matsumura began to rub his puckered, pink, and swollen entrance. He soaked his fingers with lubricant and continued brushing it slightly with his fingertips in a featherlight motion, determined to take his time and not allow a single ounce of pain to interrupt the erotic sounds Nakamura let out between his moans and pleas for him to stop. Nakamura reached behind him, his delicate hands with their long, slender fingers trying in vain to push Matsumura away from his entrance, but the taller boy took his hand and kissed his knuckles lovingly, then sucked on his fingers as he had done with his member. Nakamura gasped and tried to pull his hand away, but Matsumura held his wrist and gently bent it, resting it against his back so it wouldn't get in the way.

Without the additional support of his other arm, Nakamura was even more helpless against Matsumura's desires. He couldn't move or pull away, forced by gravity and Matsumura's strength to endure all the pleasure his former rival wished to force into him.

Matsumura stopped massaging his entrance to apply more lubricant and finally insert a finger. Careful not to hurt him, he did so slowly, despite feeling his member about to explode as it forced its way into his beloved's velvety, warm interior. Hearing his muffled moans on the bed, unable to lift his head, filled him with overwhelming arousal, but he had to be careful.

He moved his finger mechanically, feeling the high tension of the body beneath him. Little by little, carefully, his finger felt freer to move a little more, and he took advantage of this to try to insert a second finger, but Nakamura quickly tensed again. Matsumura murmured words of encouragement and continued rubbing his increasingly swollen entrance. He applied more lubricant, and this time his second finger entered. He paused for a moment upon hearing Nakamura's heavy moan.

“How do you feel?”

Muffled words escaped from the pillow where Nakamura was hiding, so he withdrew his fingers and released the hand that was on his back, gently massaging his friend's lower back. Nakamura adjusted himself and turned onto his back, looking at Matsumura with embarrassment.

“I don't like this position. It makes me feel exposed.”

Matsumura smiled and filled Nakamura's burning face with kisses. Nakamura looked away and reluctantly began to push him away. Then he rubbed his nose against Nakamura's and they gazed into each other's eyes.

“No problem, honey. But rest assured that next time we'll try more positions, I'll even put you on top of me.”

His embarrassed face twisted into an ugly grimace, but his blush only deepened.

“There won't be any other times.”

“You speak as if you have a say in that. How sweet.”

Nakamura felt his blood run cold with fear, but a burning heat began to grow inside him, fueled by desire. He was sure that by the end of the night, all his nerves would be fried from the onslaught of intense emotions that were forcing his system to process far too quickly.

Without letting him argue, Matsumura accepted the new position. He lifted one of Nakamura's legs over his shoulder, coated his fingers in lubricant again, and inserted them. This time, they went in more easily because of the position. Perhaps next time he'd make sure he was already inside Nakamura before putting him on all fours for easier access.

He moved his hand more forcefully, drawing out such needy little sounds from Nakamura, a mix of moans and protests that made incredibly difficult not to enter onto him right then and there. He couldn't decide where to look: at the face ravaged with pleasure that stared back at him, or at the red, open hole, meant only for him—the only one who had ever seen and would ever see Nakamura like this. For a moment, he even considered thanking Hirose for getting a girlfriend and pushing Nakamura into his hands.

He was dying to kiss him, but he hadn't been allowed to all night. As he inserted a third finger, he buried his face in his neck again and began kissing him once more, delighting in his whimpers and the way he refused to wrap his arms around his shoulders or even to touch him. He could refuse all he wanted; Matsumura had a lifetime ahead of him to show him that they loved each other. And if not, he could make him fall in love with him.

Finally, he withdrew his hand when he felt Nakamura's insides relax. Looking him straight in the eyes, he took his own dick, coating it well with the last drops of lubricant remaining in the bottle. Finally, he pushed in carefully, inserting the tip which paralyzed Nakamura, preventing him from moving and escaping as he clearly wanted. He left him there, lying down, his eyes open and fearful. Before he could cry out or resist, Matsumura finally thrust and slid naturally inside Nakamura.

He couldn't tear his gaze away from the point where his member disappeared inside Nakamura, uniting their bodies beyond the physical, with no turning back. Nakamura's first time was his forever. Inside, his heart raced at the thought that he had accomplished what no one else in the world had ever done before, and no one else ever would. He would make sure of that.

Tears streamed quickly from Nakamura's wide eyes, still reeling from the forced vulnerability that paralyzed his muscles and made his own erection throb with a forbidden desire he thought buried deep in his mind, along with the image of Hirose entwined in tentacles and other scandalous fantasies.

Feeling that huge dick make it way into him almost by force despite his protests left him trembling with a dirty and indecent arousal. It was wrong, it was wrong to feel sparks start to burn inside of him, feeling how its own preseminal fluid came out of the tip of his dick cused by the huge wave of lewdness that ran through his body. He let out a pornographic whimper and dropped his head back on the bed, grabbing the pillow tightly under him and drowning in the scent of Matsumura. It hurt to move.

He uttered soft pleas that fell on deaf ears; the burning inside him seemed endless, with that huge dick piercing him and preventing him from closing. When he felt Matsumura try to move, he couldn't stifle a sharp cry of pain.

“Wait! Wait, don't move yet.”

Matsumura stopped completely this time, listening to the pain and the truth in his words.

“I'm sorry, I'll wait.”

He didn't even wanted to know what twisted logic made him ignore some pleas and listen to others, but he was grateful for the small breath he gave him. He tried to relax as he felt Matsumura's large hands roam over his torso and caress his nipples, making them hard again and sending shivers down his spine. He took the order not to move seriously; he seemed paralyzed, looking into his eyes, searching for the permission he had never received throughout the night.

Nakamura felt incredibly exposed like that. The attractive but utterly deranged guy, who made no effort to hide the fact that he'd been analysing him all this time, inside him, shaping his insides just for him, was driving him crazy. He didn't even want to know if it was good or bad.

With a final exhalation, he closed his eyes, unable to bear the heavy gaze that held him still. He bit his lip when he felt Matsumura carefully begin to pull out his dick from the tight grip his insides held. He turned his head and yelped out a pathetic whine at the abrupt movement Matsumura made as he thrust back in, maintaining a slow but steady pace.

Nakamura felt like his insides were on fire. He could no longer ignore how absurdly good and right it felt. May lightning strike him if he started moaning the name of the idiot on top of him, but he could no longer deny that this was the hottest thing he'd ever experienced.

Although he preferred to have Hirose in mind, he doubted he had the length and strength that took his breath away and made him want to gasp with each thrust.

“Look at you, you look so beautiful now. So open just for me” Matsumura's husky voice filled his ears, and Nakamura couldn't stop the tears from welling up in his eyes again as he opened them. “I won't let you go. Not you.”

Pleasure mixed with terror surged through his body like an electric current. He couldn't bite back the undignified moans of pleasure that escaped his lips as he felt powerless and, at the same time, desired and seen in a way that intoxicated him.

The thrusts gained speed as his mind oscillated between reality and the vast sea of ​​intense pleasure in which Matsumura invited him to drown. Moans and meaningless pleas escaped his lips almost involuntarily. He wanted him to stop, but he also didn't want to stop feeling this way. He wanted Hirose, but Hirose didn't want him. He wanted to scream and cry alone, but he didn't want Matsumura to stop ruining him.

The jumble of conflicting sensations and mixed feelings tangled inside him, quickly erupting in overwhelmed tears. Matsumura bent down and ran his lips along his face, relishing the small, salty drops. He wanted to kiss him, but Nakamura kept turning his head away.Without feeling defeated, Matsumura moved to his neck and began leaving small hickeys and bites.

Nakamura let out a broken moan and shook his head, stifling a pitiful sob.

“N-no, don't leave marks.”

Matsumura ignored him and continued kissing and biting him hard, moving his hips roughly.

“I have to mark what is mine, Nakamura” he pulled away and made eye contact again with the tearful, blushing boy as he was being roughly thrusted. “You are incredibly beautiful and I need to let the world know that you already have an owner.”

Nakamura's breath caught in his throat at the words spoken so easily and the sudden, powerful thrust from the taller boy.

The sound of their damped skin clashing and their muffled moans made it difficult to think of anything else, forcing him to feel everything Matsumura wanted to give him, everything Nakamura didn't. He could feel the burning cock hitting his insides, every throbbing vein scraping against him, every drop of pre-seminal fluid moistening his delicate flesh, etching the shape of the boy on top of him. shaping his insides to Matsumura's pleasure.

Disgust and helplessness were nothing compared to the burning fire that consumed his insides and tore a hole in his chest. The pleasure being forced upon him kept his skin prickling and his neglected member fully erect and throbbing, grazing Matsumura's stomach with each violent thrust.

Nakamura forgot he was begging Matsumura to stop when the enormous member that was forcefully opening him finally bruised his prostate, and a violent jolt of pleasure shot down his spine like a lightning bolt. The gloomy thoughts left his mind as an obscene moan broke his throat and he arched his back for the other boy's enjoyment.

They never took their eyes off each other.

Matsumura smiled sweetly as he found the sweet spot of his new toy and decided to begin the real torture. He slowed down slowly, his large member being gently withdrawn and thrust back in with the same nonexistent speed, savoring the velvety warmth of the weeping boy and the firm grip his insides held on him, as if he never wanted them to separate.

Nakamura's eyes filled with tears as he suddenly understood why Matsumura had slowed down. He wanted him to beg. He let out a humiliated sob as he shook his head.

“I-I won't.”

“You're still playing hard to get, huh?”

He thrust a little harder for a moment, causing Nakamura to cling desperately to Matsumura's arms and let out a broken moan. He closed his eyes and searched deep within himself for what little dignity he had left.

He found nothing

Only excruciating pleasure and backache. He felt raw and exposed. All his dark thoughts about love, every fantasy he'd ever had, laid bare before someone who wasn't scared of it, didn't care how weird it was because he was a thousand times worse.

“Matsu-”

“call me Kousei”

He swallowed as the boy above him bent down closer, gently brushed aside his sweaty bangs, and placed a pure, chaste kiss on his forehead—the sweetest gesture anyone had ever had with him. Matsumura pressed their foreheads together, their eyes locked. Nakamura's breath caught in his throat as his face heated and his heart ached, just like when Hirose stared at him for more than ten seconds.

Damn it.

“Kousei… Please, move.”

The onyx eyes took on a haunting gleam, as if everything Matsumura had done had finally paid off, and now he could savor it completely.

“What a good boy. How could I refuse a question like that?”

He felt Matsumura's large hands grip his hips tightly and thrust hard inside him. A tearful cry escaped his lips followed by sobs, as he felt Matsumura not stop this time, but instead gain speed and force. He felt bruises forming on his skin, shaped like Matsumura's fingers, marks that matched those on his neck and collarbones.

This time, he didn't care. His mind felt like mush, tears flowed freely, and his voice was shattered, broken, high-pitched moans pleading for more, not knowing what he was asking for, but eager to receive it.

Matsumura gazed at the sweet face, all red and wet with delicious tears, which he wasted no time licking and kissing. He moved down and captured the small mouth beneath him in a rough kiss, sinking his tongue deep inside Nakamura's mouth, forcing his sobs to die amidst the clash of their teeth and wandering tongues.

Finally, he returned the kiss.

He loved him, and he would never let him go. He loved his taste, the way he crumbled beneath him, the shy, reluctant way he surrendered completely. He loved his resistance to accepting his love.

He loved Nakamura Okuto.

The mysterious, terrifying-looking boy was now beneath him, being forced open by his dick and receiving what he deserved. Marking him as his own with hickeys and bruises was only the beginning. He would never let him go.

They pulled apart slightly, and Nakamura felt something warm inside him as he watched a strand of saliva connecting their lips break. A sob escaped him as Matsumura thrust sharply into his sweet spot, gripping his waist and maintaining a hard rhythm. sweat drops dripped from the boy onto his body, but far from feeling disgusted as he had at first, they only made his already hard cock throb even more. He felt so wrapped by Matsumura, his delicious scent surrounding him and making him dizzy.

All his senses were overwhelmed by him: the taste of his saliva and the sweat on his tongue, the aroma of his expensive cologne and his skin, the dark eyes like infinite abysses that stared back at him with a heart-wrenching intensity, hearing his moans of intense pleasure and their skin impacting in a wet and utterly erotic symphony, and feeling the muscles in his arms flex beneath his hands from the strength he needed to hold on and not crush him and hurt him.

Everything in his mind was chaos. The first, unconditional, joyful, and warm love he felt for Hirose was nothing like the searing feelings Matsumura involuntarily stirred in his chest. He felt like he was on fire, burning sensations new to him yet as ancient as humanity itself, almost as if something within him finally made sense, even though nothing was clear in his clouded mind.

Nakamura began to move his hips roughly, meeting Matsumura's thrusts to heighten the pleasure. The boy on top of him sank his teeth into his neck again, this time encountering no resistance as Nakamura shifted to give him more space, simultaneously tangling his long, slender fingers in Matsumura's soft, wavy hair, caressing it and wrapping his other arm around his neck in an embrace, letting himself go and finally succumbing to his desires.

Matsumura moaned as he licked the salty, bruised skin and felt Nakamura finally yield, increasing the pace of his thrusts as he felt the pleasure nearing its peak.

His hand snaked its way to Nakamura's forgotten erection, squeezing almost too hard, and began to stroke it, taking advantage of the large amount of precum fluid that had already been released from the friction of their stomachs and their thrusts. Nakamura's hypnotic voice gently caressed his ear as he felt finally being cared for.

He pulled back slightly from his neck, and Nakamura, taking advantage of his grip on his hair, guided his mouth to his, initiating a kiss for the first time. Matsumura's heart raced, and for the first time, he felt shy as the other boy's tongue passionately and roughly explored his mouth, licking his teeth and tongue. A thin thread of saliva trickled from the corner of Nakamura's mouth, arousing him even more. Finally, the thin line of the boy's innate decency had been broken, unleashing the carnal desires that burned in his veins. He moved to the rhythm Matsumura had set, obedient and submissive at the same time, seeking and sinking into the pleasure the other wanted to give him. Having control ripped away from him like this, for once, felt terrifying and liberating in equal measure.

For the first time, Hirose wasn't on his mind, nor was he afraid of saying the wrong thing or making a fool of himself. Now Kousei held all his attention and emotions.

He felt his blood boiling inside him, he couldn't stop trembling from the violent thrusts he was subjected to, and finally, the arousing overwhelmed him so much that he couldn't help but let out a long moan.

“Ko! I-I can't hold back anymore.”

“Go ahead, love. You can come.”

The husky voice of the boy on top of him made him finally cum again, thick spurts of semen shooting out between their bodies, wetting Matsumura's fingers. When he felt Nakamura's warm, wet entrance envelop him tightly, he too spilled inside, staying as deep as possible.

“You take it so well, my love. So deep, so profound that I bet you'll always be filled with me, you'll never be able to get my essence out of you. No matter how hard you try to open you up and try” the words were so filthy and immoral that they made Nakamura's member twitched despite being flaccid “I'm going to make sure I keep you filled with me always.”

Nakamura let out a small moan as he closed his eyes. The worst part was that he felt the taller boy wasn't lying. But the idea didn't entirely disgust him anymore; he'd had his first time with him, and it had been the best night of his life. Maybe it was a little, too much, intense, but he doubted he'd ever cross the line.

Although he didn't quite know where to trace it.

He opened his eyes suddenly by feeling something wet and cool gently caress his skin wiping away saliva, sweat, and semen, leaving a shiver engraved on his now-clean flesh. He had dozed off for a moment, and Kousei was carefully cleaning him with a damp cloth, his gaze never leaving his face.

He smiled warmly, and Nakamura shyly returned the gesture, his reserved personality resurfacing in this intimate and peaceful moment.

When he finished cleaning up Nakamura, ignoring his scandalized blush and cute stutter, "I-I can do it myself!" and tossing the cloth aside, he collapsed onto the lanky body, hugging him despite his protests.

“Okuto, will you be my boyfriend?”

His exaggerated shouts stopped, and he stared at Matsumura, who had a slight blush but looked very happy. His pupils, dilated, were fixed on him, as if he wanted to engrave Nakamura's image into his memory forever.

Nakamura swallowed hard, staring at him intently. He weighed the pros and cons, ignoring the fast beating of his heart, which already held the answer. Matsumura's behavior frightened him, he thought some of the things he did were, well, questionable. Feeling that possessive gaze on him sent shivers down his spine.

But he wasn't going to deny that being desired in such a sick and obsessive way was something entirely new and attractive to him. Kousei's genuine interest in his tastes was a very sweet gesture: the eighties music CD he'd given him when they weren't even friends, etched in his memory; the questions about Icchan; the interest in his favorite manga. He also felt he had nothing to hide from him, nothing to pretend to be. They both knew the worst of each other; all that was left was to enjoy the best they could offer one another.

Besides, if Matsumura had forgotten Hirose so easily despite his apparent obsession with him throughout middle school, he could do the same with Nakamura when the next shy, pretty-smiling boy came along, right? He would simply enjoy his abrasive attention as much as possible and accept defeat when, inevitably, he grew bored with him. He wasn't anyone remarkable, and Matsumura always seemed to be looking for something more.

Smiling, he nodded as he giggled sweetly, accepting the little kisses Kousei scattered across his face. The warm weight, the vibration of his husky laughter, feeling another boy's bare skin on top of him made him feel more alive than ever before. Maybe, he thought, laughing and playfully pushing each other, it was easy to be loved.

He thought that dates and sleepovers would be a lot of fun even without Hirose's warm sunshine, bright smile, and big eyes. Now they had the moonlight, a cocky grin, and deep eyes that looked right through his soul.

And he couldn't be more anxious.