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Ryland Grace was a coward. Born and raised. Rather stop then pull against the grain. It wasn't in him. Colt got all the heroics and bravery in the slit. The smart twin was all he was, nothing more. It's why he had nothing. It's why his entire being was a grand lie Stratt had tricked the whole world into believing. A man who didn’t have a single person to miss selflessly saving the world. It was lie she even tricked him into believing for as long as the drugs could last.
The brave hero that met a lost alien in space and through science and friendship managed to save the universe. A nice fantasy for him to have until the beetles left for home. For some eighth graders to roll their eyes at, in 30 years. A meaningless meaningful legacy. It sat hollow in Grace's chest dragging him through the ship. To a small box hidden under all the beetles equipment. The end of mission supplies.
There was no lie to hold back his nature anymore. The hollowness of everything leaves him alone in a metal coffin. If his crewmates were there here they would be celebrating. They would praise the stars for the chance to return. Grace was dreading the idea of 4 years alone and well he was a coward. There was a simple way to fix everything. A gun always seemed to control his life.
Colt was taught how to actually shoot. Hours on hours in the woods shooting anything that moved. Ryland had tried so hard to be inculcated. Even when the idea of dead animals made the younger twin green. It was the pride of the family hunting your first kill with just your father in the woods. Because being the pride and joy of the family came with a personal gun. Being the coward came silence and disdain.
After lots of begging, Ryland had found himself sitting for hours in a tree waiting for deer. Just as his family tradition, on his first hunting trip he held the only gun. Given no other institution other than shooting something. That only being thrown off a tree stand for scaring off the animals with his crying. Hours after their father pushed him Colt had repeated the act. Practically throwing the younger twin out of their shared room
“You said you could do it Ryland “ , Colts words were nails in his heart. “I told dad you could, you promised. You lied to me “
After that only Colt was loaded up every week, Their father had loved every second of showing his actually masculine son the in and outs of life.
It was Court that actually gave him the lecture on gun safety. Ryland never understood why Courtland wasn’t the favored sibling. The oldest sibling never missed or scared away all deer. Yes, the oldest Gentry brother was rarely ever around anymore but he was independent. Everything their father said a Gentry should be. Court was always working some under the table job until he would show up with food and treats for the twins and vanish off into the night. When their father was tearing them apart, Court was the glue of the twins' relationship.
The best older brother that in the midnight hours would drag them shopping for clothes.Or wrapping Christmas presents , making dinner after not being home all day. Court was the first to treat Ryland like his life wasn’t a big lie of trying to be like Colt. Like Ryland wasn’t a coward hiding behind his twin.
That night flashed through him as his hands shook. The last time a gun was this close his father had enough of a cowardly son and had shot a gun at him. Court’s hands had been shaking, but that was different. He wasn’t cowardly like Ryland. He was saving his brother. When the alarms went off he dropped the gun instantly. Unlike his brother who held it tight when the police arrived.
Everything was muscle memory. Checking the labs, fixing the leak his mind didn’t focus past the memories. The supposed last moments of Ryland and all he could think of was the family he didn’t have. Not even a dog. He had clung to earth over dead memories.
Colt who fell too far never got back up as far as Ryland knew. Court would have been the better bother in any situation. Would have got Colt back up. Gentry men don’t accept handouts, but Court would have helped their brother somehow. Would figure out the logistics of healing a spinal injury. Getting into Colts thick skull that he needed help. Wouldn't cower at harsh words.
Ryland just didn’t know how to help someone that didn’t want him there. He was a wet paper towel when Colt yelled. College had built up the twins, finally a matching pair with every bit of confidence he should have had. His life and the family were finally looking up. Then the conference crashed his life and his brother fell from 12 stories.
“ You ran away from every problem in your life so run away from mine too. Your not my brother a coward like you never was “ the last line ever spoken between the Gentry twins was a gunshot.
The bullet hit Ryland who ran off to teach. And the kickback hit Colt ten years later when he heard his brother’s name for a one way trip death mission. Left to wonder if a little more cowardice would have saved him
Rocky's ship was made of Xenonite
Grace could continue the lie. Be the person Eva had painstakingly shaped. It felt like the calm finally overtook his being. Everything clicked back into place. The memories could slip away. There was no time to be a coward. The gun was carefully hidden away. He had a friend to save. A good hero tale for the ages.
It was pure relief for that lie holding together his very being. There were moments Grace forgot everything back on earth. Rocky had no prerequisites to meet.
That lie had already proven true in Rocky's mind. There were no more tests for him to fail. It was a balm to his soul. This friendship was Ryland Grace's entire being.
Simon was a different matter. Grace had to sell the lie to someone who was everything Grace couldn’t be. The blooded man had chosen to save his world despite himself. A real hero not a cowardly understudy.
Simon deserved the happy ending. So when all his calculations ended in frowns. Grace made a decision that he couldn’t be a coward. He would save Simon, the real hero of the universe.
The plan was simple: teach Simon all he needs to know and jump out the airlock.
Easy enough.
Or not
Simon was perfection. The funhouse mirror of Grace who couldn’t do anything. Every ‘lesson’ just started with the blond fumbling trying to work everything and Simon fixing it.
“How are you so good at everything?” He had just given up and asked one day. No longer pretending to teach just letting his co pilot take the lead.
“Growing up on a space station does that Angel” the dumbfounded look Grace had given got a pleasant laugh. It crashed through him. Sticking in his memory like a song to repeat for hours.
After a few months Simon was running the show. Grace had stepped out of the way for any task or project Simon showed interest in.
Rocky wasn’t too happy with Grace for leaving everything to Simon at first. After a few weeks of their newest guest on medical rest it seemed irresponsible to force tasks on him. He ignored that for now.
Weirdly the thing Simon showed the most trouble with was the don’t go crazy room. Even Rocky understood the voice commands but Simon always pulled Grace into the room to pull up the screens. Then ask questions that held Grace there taking over movies explaining cultural norms and story tropes.
Rocky had joined after the first night the pair had fallen asleep together. Now preferring to interject into the lectures with what felt like pointed questions on human matchmaking.
Grace didn’t quite understand how Rocky had come up with the questions. With the movies he played almost exclusively being nature documentaries now but answered anyway.
It took two more weeks for the Mary running better for the alien among them to fully be on team Simon. Everything but the lab was running perfectly under Simon’s attention.
A true miracle. Grace was quickly eating through the spare food storage. Only 3 weeks felt before cutting into Simon's rations.
6 weeks with some stretching. Starting lab training for the two space travelers could take time after all. Rocky understood everything within days simply.
Taumaoeba breeding was half his invention anyway; learning the changes Grace had made was easy. It was nothing special, just some tanks to breed out the heavy metals found in plant Adrian's atmosphere.
Those tanks were going to be added to the coma slurry form when Simon couldn’t eat solids.
They were just extra now. A last resort backup.
Simon took to them instantly. Paying no mind to the bigger tanks, just the edible ones that he filled to bursting. Before getting Rocky to make more tanks.
Food insecurity maybe? Not that the taumaoeba could solve that. Just false calories. Grace didn’t see the point but within 4 weeks Simon could manage everything alone. That's all that mattered.
Grace didn’t slip away that night. He was a coward; no one could blame him for avoiding the problem.
Movie night happens more often. The closer to Grace's 6 week time limit the more he would just sit with Simon to see earth through pixel screen. It was a joy to teach for a little longer. Even if he slept midway through the movies now. His time was running out.
The Hail Mary ‘pilot’ had died. It moved to Ilyukhina then Grace. Reasigning the role hasn’t allowed as far as Grace understood. The pilot’s voice was the master override for most failsafes so he just needed to trick the system.
“You want me to fly the ship?” Simon seemed a bit apprehensive with every ‘teaching moment’ now. Probably fed up with the tasks after months.
“Yeah I'm not cut out for piloting, “ Grace said jokingly. “Ask Rocky. I almost crashed last time “
Said Rock made some comments about the whole fishing trip with harsh criticism of the whole situation. It was enough to get Simon in the chair
“Pilot detected”
Grace almost cried with relief.
It was the seventh week. The sporadic meals of the last 6 felt like a dream in comparison. Having nothing at all was hard. Simon was stressed Rocky was stressed and Grace was becoming meaner.
The blond had reached for one of Simon's rations after only three days. It tasted like ashes. It was time then. Mary didn’t need him anymore. Simon could make it. Rocky would help get Simon to earth. Happy ending.
Grace was back again in his metal coffin trying desperately not to make a sound. Pulling away from Simon for the last time was a challenge. They all piled in the don’t go crazy room abandoning the dorms after weeks of sleeping to movies.
If he was careful everything would be over within a few minutes. It was almost like euphoria, the feeling of being done. Of not having anything to cower from and just rest.
For the first time in years his hands didn't shake loading the gun. The click felt like his brother Court’s good bye. The few deep breaths felt like Colts. Maybe they were here in spirit waiting for the cowardly brother.
His mind was focused on this last task. It needed to be right he couldn’t mess this up. All that was left was to aim correctly. The tunnel vision was a blessing ; he couldn't get caught up with memories again.
Hitting the outer door came with sharp pain. The override for the airlock had pushed him back as air flooded into the now unpressurized chamber. The pain didn’t let up as a heaviness swallowed his limbs. He couldn’t breathe.
“Drop the gun “
How had he failed?
Everything swam in this vision, unable to comprehend Simon’s interpretation.
“Angel listen to me”
The gun was gone. Grace couldn’t deny Simon right now. If the man wanted Grace's last salvation from him then he would give it.
“Angel “
Maybe this was cowardice too just like the last week of stalling. Black spots were drowning him. Some part of his mind wondered if they would turn red in uv. That was good at least he didn’t completely fail
“Breath”
“RYLAND”
Only a few of Simon's words cut through the dots holding grace but it was enough. As Ryland once again complied. Oxygen flooded his lungs and cries came out. Everything hurts. Why couldn’t he have this? Everything was going wrong. The oxygen wasn’t enough as Ryland fell into Simon's arms.
He woke up in the don't go crazy room again. Almost convinced he just had a hunger induced dream but Rocky was watching him. Not like the creepy cute Eridin way. In a worrying manner like Grace will disappear. Guilt clawed at his stomach. This wasn’t supposed to happen.
“ It's ok angel sleep a little longer. “
Simon had a death grip round his waist. “We can talk later “
Grace didn’t want that but sleep was pulling him under again.