Chapter Text
@Fool of a Took added @MerryChristmas, @Frodo, @Samwise, @Boromir, @Leggy, @GimliSonofGloin, @OneKingtoRuleThemAll, @Faramir, @Eowyn, @Arwen, and @GandalfTheGrey to a group chat.
Group chat renamed “The Fellowship”.
Fool of a Took: guys, guys, I made a group chat
Fool of a Took: now time to customize…
MerryChristmas: my my Pip is it just me or are some of these names rather boring? You thinking what I’m thinking?
Fool of a Took: time to give the losers new names
MerryChristmas: heheheheheh 😈
OneKingtoRuleThemAll: What am I doing here…
Arwen: Why am I here? Aren’t these your friends, dear?
OneKingtoRuleThemAll was changed to “HorseGirl2000” by MerryChristmas. Arwen was changed to “Winnie the Boo” by Fool of a Took.
Fool of a Took: Get it? Cause your nickname is Winnie and your Aragorn’s boo!
MerryChristmas: You don’t need to explain it, Pip. 😒
HorseGirl2000: stop
HorseGirl2000: …that’s it I’m blocking you
Winnie the Boo: Nah, let them have their fun. This is entertaining.
HorseGirl2000: they’re bullying me
HorseGirl2000: …and you
Winnie the Boo: ✨Entertainment.✨
GimliSonofGloin: sup
Leggy: Gimli, stop! Is your name on here really @GimliSonofGloin?? Why not try something more ✨Whimsical?✨
GimliSonofGloin: …yes? Not everything needs to be whimsical, elf
Leggy: But where’s the fun in 🍂That🍂 ;)
GimliSonofGloin: I swear you type like that just to infuriate me
Leggy: ✨🍂🌈Like What? 🌈🍂✨ 🥺🥺🥺
Fool of a Took: *gags* the lovebirds are at it again
MerryChristmas: *cups hands over mouth* Oi! Get a room! Preferably one we’re not in!
HorseGirl2000: I don’t get paid enough for this
Eowyn: hey guys! :)
MerryChristmas: EOWYN!! My battle brother! Battle sister? BATTLE SISTER!!!
Eowyn was changed to “1amNoMan” by MerryChristmas. GimliSonofGloin was changed to “Shortstack” by Leggy.
Shortstack: that’s it
Leggy: ✨✨✨
Shortstack: I’m going to rearrange your organs you stupidly tall bastard
Leggy: That's kinda ❤️🔥hot.❤️🔥Is that a promise? 😉
Shortstack: …
Fool of a Took: brother EUGH
MerryChristmas: *barfs in corner*
Leggy was changed to “Whimsical Little Shit” by Shortstack.
Whimsical Little Shit: 😂😂😂Come now, I was only 🙃joking.🙃 Just wanted to get a rise out of you. 😉
HorseGirl2000 has left the chat.
MerryChristmas: Guys, we lost Aragorn.
Winnie the Boo: Don’t worry, I’ll add him back.
HorseGirl2000 was added to the group chat by Winnie the Boo.
HorseGirl2000: damn
Winnie the Boo: Hello meleth nín! ❤️💙
HorseGirl2000: you’re the only reason I’m still in this forsaken group chat
Winnie the Boo: ❤️❤️❤️ Love you too, meleth nín.
HorseGirl2000: and I you, always <3
Winnie the Boo: 😘
Fool of a Took: GET A ROOM
MerryChristmas: GET A ROOM!!!
Fool of a Took: why is everyone in this chat flirting
MerryChristmas: we need to get the singles to start talking SINGLES NOW IS YOUR CUE
Faramir: um… hi? Who are you guys
MerryChristmas: NO NOT YOU
Faramir has been changed to “Faramir Nearamir Whereveryouareamir” by Boromir.
MerryChristmas: Oh hey Boromir!
Faramir Nearamir Whereveryouareamir: …
Faramir Nearamir Whereveryouareamir: did you really just…
Boromir: … yes.
Boromir: It was an excellent movie and song! You should be honored!
Faramir Nearamir Whereveryouareamir: …don’t make me pull up that video of you crying to it
Boromir: … You wouldn’t. Brother, please. I thought we were allies 😢
MerryChristmas: ohohohohoh now THIS I gotta see
Fool of a Took: dude dude send it right now
Shortstack: oh this I have to see for myself
Faramir Nearamir Whereveryouareamir sent a video.
MerryChristmas: 😂😂😂 IM WHEEZING STOP I CANT BREATHE
Fool of a Took: OWKJWKS I CANT BREGWHK
Boromir: it was an excellent movie!! You try watching it and not crying!!!
1amNoMan: oh my god
Whimsical Little Shit: 😂😂😂😂
1amNoMan: see this is why I love you
Whimsical Little Shit: Awwwwwww 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹
Winnie the Boo: Awwww ❤️❤️❤️
MerryChristmas: *vomits all over you saps* seriously all the couples need to chill tf out
Fool of a Took: everyone in this chat needs to be blocked fr
Fool of a Took: except for you Merry, ofc
MerryChristmas: why thank you Pip. You’re the only one here with sense
HorseGirl2000: oh my god
Whimsical Little Shit: ??? 🤨🧐🤔
HorseGirl2000: what did I come back to…
HorseGirl2000 saved a video.
HorseGirl2000: oh hi Legolas
Whimsical Little Shit: 🍂✨hello✨🍂;)
Boromir: NO! Aragorn! How could you! I would have gone to battle with you! My brother! My captain! My king! How could you betray me like this!!
HorseGirl2000: shit you can still see when I save videos? idk how to turn that off…
Fool of a Took: pfft old man
MerryChristmas: I mean he is 87
1amNoMan: 87?!?!?!
Winnie the Boo: I know, right? So young.
HorseGirl2000: …
HorseGirl2000: you guys do realize Legolas and Arwen are like over 2000 years old right
Whimsical Little Shit: Yeah, but I’m ✨hip✨ with the teens. I know 💙ALL💙the latest slang and gossip and can navigate a 📱
Shortstack: “hip” as in broken hip you ancient loser
Whimsical Little Shit: I would expect 😡you😡 not to know! You uncultured swine! 🐷
Shortstack: Oi! Who are you calling an uncultured swine? I’ll have you know we dwarves are very hardy folk, very popular amongst the kiddos
Fool of a Took: bro really said “kiddos”
Whimsical Little Shit: But who do kids want to be for 🎃Halloween?🎃 Oh, that’s right, ELVES🧝🏻♀️🧝🏻♀️🧝🏻♀️
Shortstack: it was ONE TIME. ONE TIME YOU ROPED ME INTO THAT STUPID COSTUME
Whimsical Little Shit: And what a ✨splendid✨time it was.
Fool of a Took: stop
Fool of a Took: PROOF
Fool of a Took: SHARE WITH THE CLASS
Whimsical Little Shit: Gladly 😉
1amNoMan: please I need to see this
Winnie the Boo: I would like to see this as well.
MerryChristmas: GIVE *grabby hand motion*
Faramir Nearamir Whereveryouareamir: I would pay money to see that
MerryChristmas: SEND ME THE PHOTO AND MY SOUL IS YOURS
Sam: uhh… hello? Idk what’s happening
MerryChristmas: SAM!!!
Sam: Hi guys! :3
Sam: Frodo also says hi but he’s busy writing poetry.
Whimsical Little Shit sent an image.
Whimsical Little Shit: Eat up, children 🍭🍬🍭🍬😉
Shortstack: NO STOP IT
Shortstack: HOW DARE YOU
Shortstack: YOU POINTY EARED BASTARD
Whimsical Little Shit: 🙃🥺🙃
Sam: I mean this in the nicest way possible, Mister Gimli, but you look like a knockoff version of Thranduil…
MerryChristmas: BAKFIDOWKROGKSIWAKEIGIAIWOWBKFODW
Fool of a Took: OWNSHOSJWHAOJ
Fool of a Took: OH MY GOD
Fool of a Took: THIS IS FHE BEST DAY OF MG LIFE
MerryChristmas: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I CANT BREATHE HELP ME IM CHOKING AHAHHAAHAH
HorseGirl2000 saved a photo.
Winnie the Boo: Meleth nín, we can still see it.
Shortstack: HOW COULD YOU ARAGORN?! AFTER ALL WE’VE BEEN THROUGH??
Fool of a Took: IM DYINGGG
MerryChristmas: the BETRAYAL THE DRAMA
Fool of a Took: THE EARS
MerryChristmas: THE WIG IM DYING THE EYEBROWS OMG THE EYEBROWS
Faramir Nearamir Whereveryouareamir: oh… wow
Winnie the Boo: I gotta say, the eyebrows are spot on.
Fool of a Took: HE EVEN GOT THE STARE OH MY GOD JAJAOWJHA
Winnie the Boo: The whole “I’ve been alive long before your grandparents. Don’t talk to me you young peasants” stare is just utter perfection. 😂
HorseGirl2000: 🔵- 🔵
Fool of a Took: even Aragorn learned what emojis are for this
1amNoMan: this is singlehandedly the best thing I’ve ever witnessed
Shortstack: I’m going to kill you all
Whimsical Little Shit: baObfownfmHHDOKWDN $29?0-&,
HorseGirl2000: Is that Gimli trying to take Legolas’s phone lol
HorseGirl2000 sent an image.
Fool of a Took: oh my god it is
Fool of a Took: wait where are you I wanna come witness this
Shortstack: YOUR MOTHER’S BASEMENT!
Whimsical Little Shit: wjgbxjsiwis Kai’s $!3!,8:82& fIidnf one robocalled
HorseGirl2000: we’re by the fountain
MerryChristmas: OMW
Fool of a Took: oh my god he just pushed Legolas into the bushes
Fool of a Took sent an image.
MerryChristmas: BAHAHAHA
Fool of a Took sent a video.
1amNoMan: *eats popcorn slowly*
MerryChristmas: *also eats popcorn*
Faramir Nearamir Whereveryouareamir: *joins in*
MerryChristmas changed to “MerryCrisis”. Sam changed to “SamtheWise”.
SamtheWise: Is Mister Legolas fighting with him in the bushes?
Winnie the Boo: Yep. We’re watching.
SamtheWise: Frodo you’ve got to come see this. Promise it’s worth it.
Frodo: But I’ve almost finished this line. I just need to find something that rhymes with “orange.” What rhymes with “orange?” Nothing! Nothing rhymes with “orange!!” So unless you can somehow find me a word that fits, I’m afraid I’m stuck here.
Fool of a Took: borange
MerryCrisis: Sorange
Fool of a Took: ✨moreange✨
Frodo: …
Frodo: What?
Frodo was changed to “Ring Bear” by MerryCrisis.
Ring Bear: Did you mean Ring Bearer? Also, why do you call me that?
MerryCrisis: yeah but this is funnier
MerryCrisis: Remember that time as a kid when you found a ring and carried it with you for like 3 years straight…
1amNoMan: 3 years?!
Ring Bear: … oh, right. I’m gonna go back to my poetry. I’ll share it with you when I’m done.
MerryCrisis: oh you really don’t have to do that
SamtheWise: I can’t wait to hear it, Mister Frodo! :)
MerryCrisis: dammit Sam
1amNoMan: ooh poetry? I’d love to hear some!
Winnie the Boo: I’m sure it will be lovely.
MerryCrisis: DONT ENCOURAGE HIM
Fool of a Took: oh no there’s two of them
HorseGirl2000 sent a video.
HorseGirl2000: they’re fighting again
Shortstack: LOAJWOOSH. OISTVQK)18187?
Whimsical Little Shit: Akqboaigwlq. - gavalqlqb anzouatgqppem jogs bwu
1amNoMan: ah here we go again