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It all started with a Hear Me Out cake.
The idea was proposed by Mina, vetoed by Bakugou, appealed by Denki and Kirishima, revetoed by Bakugou and Jirou, reappealed by Denki and Jirou (quite traitorous), revetoed by Bakugou, then overruled by Sero and Mina.
For whatever reason, they're doing it. Six supposedly responsible third years.
Recording a livestream of a cake with sticks of paper on them.
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Mina does her little "Hi lovelies" and intro speech before she kicks off the cake with a picture of vandalism.
"Hear me out: graffiti."
A couple of them agree with her, but Mina's quickly shoved out of the spotlight before she can elaborate, which is probably for the best because she will yap.
Sero, who's supposed to be ever-so-slightly more mature says, "Hear me out: lowercase f in English cursive."
"How the fuck is that any bit attractive, Tape Arms?"
"Nah, bro. I totally agree with that one. I mean- look at the picture! It's totally manly!"
"Shut the hell up! It's a damn letter!"
"Ugh, you have no taste or vision, Blasty. I would totally make love to that letter."
They argue back and forth for a bit more until Kirishima realizes it's his turn and tells them all to shut up, but then he just puts down the most bullshit photo ever.
"Shittyhair... what the actual fuck?"
"Yeah, bro, I love you, but that's a damn tooth."
"Guys, c'mon! It's a shark's tooth!"
"No, no. I see it."
"Yeah right. What are you guys seeing in a tooth?"
"No, bro! I mean like the necklaces!"
Suddenly, there's a harmony of 5 "Oh's."
"Mina, I thought you saw it already!"
"Yeah, but now I extra see it!"
"Why the fuck didn't you just put a photo of the necklace?"
"Suspense, man."
"...Okay, away from Kirishima's dumbass cinematic suspense-"
"Hey!"
"It's my turn. Hear me out: Mr. Compress."
Jirou pokes her skewer into the cake with a picture of Mr. Compress with his mask of bleeding and sweating, holding up his hair with his arm.
The group recognizes it as that photo of the villain that went viral. One of the media students got the picture, and suddenly half of Japan was ready to ride or be ridden when it came to Mr. Compress .
"I wholeheartedly agree with you. That man is sexy."
"At least it's an actual person this time. Bare-fucking-minimum, but okay."
Jirou continues her triad for Mr. Compress by saying, "I will gladly make that man come in a matingpress. I'll use my best strap-on."
So yes, now the entire group is cackling like hyenas. Even Bakugou, though he tries to hide it.
Next, it's Denki's turn.
"Hear me out- wait. Before I say this, because I might die today, I would like to say something. These two people are sexy as FUCK. Like Kacchan's 'bouta call me "Pops" when I go bounce down low and lick up top."
Bakugou's confused until Denki pulls out a picture of his parents. Mitsuki and Masaru Bakugou, smiling to the camera.
Nobody stops the attack on Denki as he runs away and Bakugou hops the counter to chase him.
Both are yelling, but one's in anger and the other one is pleading for mercy while being stupid.
"Please, son! Don't kill your Pop-Pop!"
"I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU, PIKACHU!"
Then, there's the telltale sound of explosions, followed by the smell of smoke and the feeling of the the sprinklers going off.
"Guys, he sounds genuinely pissed. Like, he might kill Denks for real this time."
Now, the rest of the Bakusquad is running into the chaos.
Over on the counter, the camera stays put. All of Bakugou's photos got moved around and revealed in the scuffle. 5 white sheets of [insert Shouto here] spread about.
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Later when the group has calmed down, and Denki apologized, they to go collect Mina's phone.
"You guys are so lucky that this is waterproof!"
That's when they see the weird photos on Bakugou's skewer.
"Bakugou, those aren't not even photos."
"Yeah, dude, they all literally just says '[insert Shouto here]'."
"Kacchan, my dude, why not just get an actual photo of her? You literally have thousands."
"Stop calling me that, Pikachu! And none of those jobless extras deserve to look at her!"
"Awwwwwweeeeeee, Blastyyyyyy! You're so sweet! You're gonna make me cry!"
"Holy fucking simp, man."
"You guys' love is so manly, bro!"
"So... are we all gonna ignore the implication that Shouto is on Bakugou's skewer?"
Kirishima holds Bakugou back this time while Denki hides behind Sero.
What an amazing group of friends.
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-yøurs truly.
