Chapter Text
Theo despised being late. Being late meant being disappointing, and there was nothing Theo liked less than letting people down. He wanted nothing more than to turn the key, start the car, and drive off to the stupid party he'd been roped into. But he sat still in the leather seat, and waited.
Really it was Helly who was late. He'd agreed to pick her up before the party so he had come 5 minutes early. That was 20 minutes ago. He drummed his fingers along the wheel.
Theo had already sent her two texts, but he knew her phone was always set to do-not-disturb. Anything more would have been annoying. She was probably fine. She was fine.
He looked back at the last text he'd received, much earlier in the day. "I'm meeting with Professor Cervia after class, pick me up at 8:45." That had been the first message since Monday, with the text that informed him he had been invited to Lyle's party. His follow-up questions had gone unanswered, which was par for the course with a girl as busy as Helly.
Every time there was movement, he expected to see her walk out of the faculty building, waving him down as if he were a taxi, but only middle-aged professors left through those glass doors. His dashboard clock read 9:03. He sighed, and left his car.
He'd only visited the building in the daytime, but once he was inside, he couldn't tell any difference. The buzz of the fluorescent lights almost matched the squeaking of his shoes on the tiled floor. Professor Cervia's office wasn't far, and it was easily spotted with the wicker wreath that hung over the door. Theo was about to knock when he heard movement inside, and soon the door was open.
"Thank you so much Gale for- Oh, Theo! Hi!" The smile she wore flashed to an open face of surprise, but fell back into a smile as she gave him a brief hug.
The professor spoke in an Irish accent thick as honey. "The pleasure was all mine, Helena." Theo had never seen Miss Cervia, but the word people always used was 'intense'. Theo didn’t have a great mind for vibes, but she seemed gentle, almost kind. The only intense thing about her were those moss-green eyes of hers, staring deep into him from across the office. "This is the friend of yours you mentioned?”
"Yes ma'am! He might seem a creep but he's harmless." Theo tried to interject, but he was pinned by those emerald eyes. "I can bring him next time if you want, but we're SUUUPER late already."
"Oh, I won't keep you from your party. Fare well, children!" Helly closed the door, and the spell was broken with the loss of eye contact. Theo didn't say a word until they were in the car, just listened to Helly’s idle chatter.
"I'm creepy?"
"What, you didn't know?" She giggled, strapping her seatbelt across her exposed midriff. Compared to her crop top, short skirt, and mesh sleeves, Theo felt overdressed.
He started the car, and almost made it out of the parking lot before fear got the better of him. "In what way?"
"Relax dude, it was a joke!" She leaned over and kissed his cheek, which only worsened his mood.
He drove for another block before opening his mouth again. "I thought I told you to stop doing that."
"Oh my godddd dude I'm not into you! It doesn't mean anything!" She clipped colourful baubles in her short black hair, staring at herself in her phone's camera app.
"Okay but if I kissed you, that would be creepy, right?”
"Any straight guy kissing a lesbian would be creepy." She put down her phone and turned to Theo, now thoroughly engrossed in the conversation. "The reason my kisses aren't creepy is because I have no desire for you. There's no intention, and anything you assume is just made up."
"So if a straight girl kissed you..." I should make it more specific. That'll help her understand. "If Miss Cervia kissed you, wouldn't that be weird?"
Helly snorted. "Two problems. First, Gale is my professor, so no matter the orientation, it would be a fucked up sexual dynamic. Second, she's as much a dyke as I am!"
That caught Theo off guard. He'd almost thought that look she'd given him was predatory, but this was a relief. "Okay, well, I didn't know that. But my point stands, the receiver's feelings are important too."
"Fiiiiiiiine, I'll stop if you really hate being kissed by a hot girl. Maybe you're gayer than I am."
Theo didn't bother to argue. They'd met in their first semester, and it had taken most of it to convince her that he wasn't in fact gay. He was not eager to dredge that debate back up.
The rest of the drive passed in relative silence, save for Helly's mutters and chirps. Her mouth always had to be doing something it seemed. Theo was ever the anxious sort, but he eventually learned that whatever she mumbled was none of his business. If she had something to say to him, she would always say it loud.
He hadn't needed to check the address. He heard the house before he saw it, rhythmic music and the hooting of drunkards. Let's get this over with, he thought as he pulled into the curbside. Helly didn't wait for him to park the car before she unbuckled and opened the door, sprinting for the house, yelling "Sorry I'm late!" to nobody in particular.
Theo slowly unbuckled his seatbelt, looked at the colourful lights in the windows, and sighed. It's Thursday, he thought with dread. My geology midterm is tomorrow. A hint of a smile crept across his face, his mind focused on the grade he knew he was going to get. Helly had picked an English program because she liked to argue, and could debate artistic interpretation until her opponent was blue in the face. Theo picked geology because he loved facts so certain that they were literally written in the stone. Most of his classmates took it as a boring science elective, but not Theo.
He fished in his glove compartment for the tiny ammonite he kept, rubbing his thumb along it in a circle, spiraling inwards till he couldn't feel it continue. Then, he swirled in the opposite direction, outward, till he reached the end. He thought about the creature alive, swimming serene through the shallow cretaceous oceans, dying in such a perfect way to be turned to stone, and admired seventy million years later. I hope my death is sublime enough that I am etched into the structure of the planet itself.
The thought of his death never disturbed him as much as he thought it should. I won't have to be a person anymore. Just a body. I hope the earth is kind to what is left behind when I no longer exist. The lack of control brought comfort for once, instead of anxiety. He meditated, tuning out the music of the house, his thumb swirling in, and out, and in.
A knock on his window snapped him out of his trance. Helly's voice was muffled by the glass, but he thought he could hear her disappointment. "Hey. You coming or what?"
"Yes, yes, sorry!" He stowed the fossil back into the compartment, left the car, and walked with Helly up to the house. It only got louder as he approached. Theo didn't stop, didn't turn back, didn't say I should study for my exam tomorrow. Helly was a much better arguer than him, even tipsy as she was.
As they crossed the threshold, all the neat order in Theo's head clashed against chaos. The place was packed, easily twenty or thirty bodies all sweating over eachother. It was hot, even in the October chill, and loud. Different songs were played on either floor, meshing into a cacophonous medley, a wall of noise. The flashbang of strobing lights caught him off guard just long enough to lose Helly in the crowd of strangers. He called out, but his whimpery voice was drowned like a cat in a sack.
This hadn't been the first time Helly had dropped him in the deep end. The last time, he'd suffered a panic attack within thirty seconds. His record so far was six minutes. I can beat that. He found that alcohol helped about as much as drugs didn't. Making his way to the kitchen, he ladled some pink liquid into a plastic cup, hoping it tasted fruity enough to keep down. It still had the metallic taste of liquor, but it was a decent mix. Within a minute, the alcohol put a thin barrier between his nerves and the rest of his brain, just enough to ignore the rising anxiety. Oh, that quickly? Must be strong. He took a second sip, and a third.
Needing some fresh air, he leaned out an open window, grateful for the cool air on his face. This stuff is damn good— Hey what was that?
In the darkness, in the trees behind the house, was a flash of two small dots, the eyes of some animal. He stared into them, barely able to make them out in such distance. After a few seconds, maybe a minute or two, they vanished. Must've been a cat in a tree. Too tall to be anything on the ground. He took another swig, and closed the window.
By the time the cup had been drained, he'd beaten his prior record, and had acclimated to the deafening volume of the party. He had even sat by and watched two boys sneakily unplug the host's fridge without fretting about snitching! When the pair had activated the gas stove however, he stuck around to turn it off after they left. Okay Theo, you're doing great. No panic attacks, no house fires, no Helly breathing down your neck... he sighed in relief. Wait, where is Helly?
The downstairs was mostly dudes hitting vape pens or sabotaging smoke alarms or unscrewing table legs, so Helly wasn't likely to be present. Upstairs held mostly bedrooms, with a squealing laughter audible from behind one ajar door. If they wanted to keep me out, they would have closed it. Without a hint of hesitation, he opened it wide.
Inside, was a circle of seven girls, Helly among them, with a bottle in the center. She didn't take notice of him, as she was rather busy locking lips with a smaller girl to her side. Her hands wandered down towards the girl's chest, making the stranger moan into her mouth. After the kiss broke off, the other 5 cheered and Helly met Theo's eyes. "Oh hey! We were just convincing Chataya to break up with her boyfriend. Wanna help?
All the anxious alcohol-suppressed thoughts flooded back. What. What. What the fuck. Am I supposed to be here? How does she want me to help? Is that the girl from my Geology class? Oh fuck I have my midterm tomorrow! Instead, he replied with a squeaky "Uhhhmm?"
"Great! Now. Chatty. Would you rather kiss me again? Or that creepy boy over there~"
The word hit him like a brick. Creepy. I'm a creepy boy who's not supposed to be here, I don't belong here, I'm never going to be able to kiss someone as pretty as her, I'm such a fucking loser, I never should have come here I I I I-
"Uhhh, are you crying?"
Theo ran down the stairs, his eyes blurry. He lost count of how many people he bumped into as he made his desperate flight from the house. Disoriented, he stumbled about for any exit, taking a back door that was currently being unscrewed from its hinges. Clean autumn air filled his lungs, cold on his tear-streamed cheeks. He sat down on the grass, halfway between the house and the forest, back-lit by the strobing colours of reverie.
He remained still for a few minutes, taking deep breaths, listening to the wind in the trees and the boys turning on the hose. The music almost sounded pleasant from so far away, but he still couldn't make out any lyrics. He tried, focused, but it was all a mess. Except for two words. "Come here.”
That took him off guard. He stood and turned around, expecting to see someone at the door coaxing him inside. And then he heard it again, from behind. He slowly rotated, looking at the trees. Those two eyes were on him again, staring deep and dreadful. "Come."
It wasn't a request. His feet moved without his mind's permission, one foot in front of the other, one step further away from his friend. "Closer." He was only a few meters away now, and he could see that the eyes didn't belong to some Cheshire Cat in a tree. They moved back, further into the darkness, remaining two feet above him. Whatever this thing was, it was tall.
He wanted to stop, plant his feet, run away back to Helly, back to his car, back to a world where he knew what was going on. But his feet only obeyed the honey-sweet voice. So on he marched, past the treeline, into the dark.
The figure stopped, and so did he. His heart pounded against his ribs so loud he thought they might break. He tried to scream, but choked on the sound, only managing a quiet gasp.
The figure laughed, then continued in a familiar accent. "Oh, calm down little one! I'm not going to hurt you." His heart slowed rapidly, as if it beat to her rhythm. His voice was whisper-thin, but she heard it.
"Miss Cervia?"
Another laugh. Those green eyes, hanging two feet above him, staring down, down, down... they did not blink. "A nice name, don't you agree?" His head nodded without his mind's consent. "But that's rude of you. Following a lady into the woods without even telling me your name. Helena was right, you really are a creep."
Theo tried to run, tried to cry, but all he was capable of was a meek apology. Miss Cervia began to speak again, but he heard something else, a yell from the house.
"Hey! Theo! Are you out there? Quinn said he saw you back here."
He sucked in air to scream for help, but felt a firm hand cover his mouth to stifle any sound. Then, he heard Miss Cervia speak. In his voice. "Sorry Helly, I drank too much and threw up. I'm gonna go home early." It was deep and scratchy, and echoed uncomfortable in his ears. He always hated recordings of it, but he realized now how much worse he hated the real thing.
"Dude, you were my ride back!"
The palm cleanly covered his mouth, but her fingers were long enough to wrap around to the back of his head. He stopped counting knuckle joints at seven. "Just get an Uber, I'll pay you back."
A pause. Please Helly! Please notice that something's wrong!!!
"Kay. See you later."
An hour could have fit inside the ten second span while she waited for Helly to go back inside. Eventually, the hand lowered. Theo liked to think his fear response was to fight, but he was too frozen to even bite her retracting hand. "Where were we? Ah yes, you followed me into the woods, without telling me who you are!" She leaned in, just close enough that he could see her shiny white teeth reflecting the strobing lights. "I'll forgive you, precious, if you would be so kind as to give me your name."
He felt two long hands on his shoulders, fingers reaching down to his hips. Her reflective smile parted, wide and terrible and vast. She is going to eat me she is going to eat me she is going to eat me was all he could think as her grip tightened and she dragged him closer to her goliath maw. I couldn't run before because she did something to me. But she's holding me still now. Meaning my legs work... meaning my voice works. She's waiting for me to tell her my name!
"Theo!”
As it exclaimed its name, she went still. The world froze. The sun had been snuffed out like a candle, and now nothing was left but a rock in the void. Neither air in its lungs, nor thoughts in its head.
It was empty.
Until her laughter came back in full force. She cackled in that Irish accent of hers, long and loud. The grip on its shoulders lightened as her hands shrunk. Her wide mouth closed, inhuman teeth locking together. In just a few seconds, she was the same size of the human again, just an inch taller and 50 pounds lighter.
"Mmm, just perfect. You were delicious, little one."
Its head thick with her honeyed words. "What... just..."
"Oh poor dear! You must be sooooo confused." She took its hand and led it through the thicket. Fear had turned it into a mouse, and now, into a lamb. "You've lost something, haven't you?"
Did I? "What... did I lose?"
"Your name, silly!" She said as the pair left the patch of trees, into a near-abandoned parking lot.
Its head felt funny, but it was certain that hadn't sounded right. "You can't... lose a name.
She dragged it to the only parked car, a red minivan which she got inside, unrolling the window. "Then why don't you tell me it?”
"It's..." It reached for the next word, but it slipped from it like a cloud. "My name is— " again, it could not find what it was looking for. "What did you..."
"I can help, you know." She smiled, those unblinking green eyes staring into its heart.
She is not human. That bitch is going to eat more of me than just my name. It turned around, anger rising, boiling into tears. "Go... go to hell!” Breathing did not come easy, air choked on the rage in its throat. “Just leave me alone!"
Her smile didn't waver as she pulled out of her parking spot. "You know how to find me~"
She went into the night, and the human was alone with its emptiness.