Chapter Text
Beauty lies at the eye of the beholder. Vibrant colors, delicate brushstrokes, shape language. It all exists to ensnare the eyes. To keep you wondering why the colors were blended. What circumstances led to such a piece being birthed? Art must hook your imagination, your curiosity. It’s a necessity to leave an impression on the viewer.
Mayu Kozue struggles with that last part. As an art piece, she's been told she has impressive curves. Fabulous black locks with purple ends, even eyes that rival freshly cut aquamarine. She has the beauty to draw in a crowd but cannot hook people to stay. She used to have patrons who beheld her beauty, even cherished it. Cherished the person behind the frame.
Father.
But he’s gone. The paintings that hold her memories of him have sadly been eroded by time. Her mother helped her put some scraps together, but nothing to fully restore her past. Apparently he loved art above all else, so as his daughter, she must carry his love. Thankfully, Mayu has succeeded in that department. There was a slight moment of temptation.
Him…
A shadowy hand tightly grips her shoulder, his nails drilling her skin against her bones.
A Museum Curator really should know better. If you touch art with your bare hands, you could damage the piece PERMANENTLY. He has no bearing on Mayu as a person; he's a blip in her story. Completely antiquated.
As she mentioned before, she succeeded. In fact, she took on a noble destiny and contracted into a magical girl. To be a Puella Magi enhances your body, your colors; you become something more than your average girl. Behind the veils of ordinary society, Magical Girls do battle against evil Witches who threaten to curse and murder the innocent.
Father would be so proud.
Mayu is not exactly good at hunting Witches, but she puts her heart into her work. And as her beloved Ria Ami says, “Trying with all your heart is the real marker of beauty.”
Forget her boss. Ria Ami has changed Mayu’s life in ways impossible to convey. Her witch-hunting partner, confidant, and PERFECT patron. She stands as one of the most gorgeous teen models in Kamihama City. She constantly pushes Mayu to hone and refine her colors. A glittery marker that not only underlines her flaws but highlights who she could become. If she just held her head a little higher. Be more confident. Hunting Witches with her, gazing upon her magnificence, receiving her constructive feedback. It was the perfect relationship, the perfect existence.
Until a month ago…the storms of storms arrived in Kamihama City. A calamity unlike the world has ever known. A force of discord and upheaval known simply as…Iroha Tamaki. Upon her entering Kamihama, she brought chaos that this city had never seen. An evil magical girl cult, a Kaiju moth sister, and Walpurgisnacht. Each apocalypse on its own would’ve been too much for one person to take on alone. And yet Iroha Tamaki reigned victorious, defeating ALL of them. Not a single speck of ash could dull her vibrantly pink hair. She was untouchable, her white cloak fluttering through the hellfires unburnt, unscathed, unbroken. True beauty does not decay in the face of adversity. Iroha Tamaki is what Mayu Kozue always strived to be but could never measure up. And this reality only cuts deeper. As if saving the city wasn’t enough, she overhauled the structure of power in Kamihama. Uniting the warring magical girl factions under her “Kamihama Magical Union.” A place for magical girls to lift each other into hopeful futures.
Iroha Tamaki ruined my future.
Mayu’s wound only festered when her beloved Ria Ami joined the Union. Not for the Union’s optimistic ideals, mind you. No, no, Ria joined because her favorite art piece, Yachiyo Namami, is Iroha’s right hand. They joined hand in hand, together in leading their Union in an era of peace and hope in Kamihama City. Presenting their Magical Girl Army as this perfect, framed picture of a found family. It's too good to be real, but her beloved was enchanted by Yachiyo’s white pearls. Mayu cannot even stay cross at her after all; she gets distracted by those gleaming pearls lining Ria’s mouth.
Iroha upset the natural order of her relationship with Ria Ami, and for this reason, she has remained on the fence about joining the Union. It's a petty reason, but one that at least keeps Ria coming back. Mayu cannot compete with Magical Girls from other wards. The old system allowed Ria and Mayu to exist in their own little bubble. They could defeat Witches and protect people just fine on their own. And yes, she had to share Ria with a few other Magical Girls, but Ria never talked to them like Ria talked to her. What they had was sacred, is now spoiled the second Ria leaves the bubble and commits to a world where Mayu cannot follow. One that uplifts your true self is a nice fairytale, but one that only exists in paintings, not in reality. Mayu does not care for reality; she's more than happy to keep staring at her beloved Galatea. She needs no one else when she alone possesses a statue carved by the Muses. Iroha and Yachiyo may be perfectly colorful pieces of art, but Ria will not abandon her to gawk at them. Ria’s heart matches her golden locks. Leaving a girl behind is such an ugly thing to do. If she did, then Ria would be ugly like him. And Ria is the furthest thing from an ugly man.
I’d rather die as a witch than live without Ria Ami.
No force will deprive Mayu Kozue of the masterpiece that lies in her wing. She clings to her beloved Galatea; it will not abandon her as the others did. However hard she must grip the cold marble, so be it. A memory hangs over the two of them. The painting depicts his nails drilling her skin against her bones. The fear gushes from her shoulder as her smile is jammed onto her face. But Ria Ami’s beauty healed these wounds. What if without her they reopen? Mayu would never forgive herself if her blood sullied that clear marble. She is not Pygmalion; she cannot marry art, but Mayu can do the next best thing. Shower her with adoration.
However, there's a piece to her beloved that remains elusive to Mayu’s gaze. Ria Ami is not just Galatea but the artist who sculpted her. She is the Goddess who brought Galatea to life. A myth made real and like all stories. Ria Ami was made, not born.
“I used my wish to become naturally beautiful,” confessed Ria.
Upon their weekly tryst. Her beloved once again tries to slip Mayu into the fold of the Union. However, she seems to be employing the technique of confession to tempt her. It cannot work.
“But you already are beautiful,” replied Mayu. “Isn’t that redundant to use your wish-”
“No,” shouted Ria. She halted herself before the yelling could be completed. One month with the Union and she's already disciplining her temper. These Union girls are a threat not to be taken lightly. Ria exhales. Her voice softens. “I used my wish to finish transitioning.”
No matter how pure the intention, no wish is worth the price extracted from their essence. Mayu knows that better now. What a magical girl wishes for casts a curse over her entire existence. However, her bubble with Ria shielded this truth from blemishing their idyllic life. Mayu never wasted a single thought on speculating what Ria’s wish could be. It doesn’t matter why Ria became a magical girl; all that matters is that they’re together.
“That alone makes me glad I became a magical girl.”
Is it such a crime to enjoy the time they have together? Why ruin that by bringing their pasts into the light? Mayu is not strong enough to bring her wish into the light. Especially in front of Ria. Those deep blue eyes sharpen into a glare that can utterly gouge her cheeks.
“Cool,” said Mayu.
Mayu is the worst at keeping up appearances. Is “cool” really the only word Mayu’s imagination could draw upon? The word painted confusion on Ria’s face. She bit her thumb as her eyes wandered. Hopefully she buys Mayu’s acceptance
Acceptance?
What was she accepting of? “Transitioning” blotches Mayu’s processing. It made no sense transitioning from what? Ria confessed her wish, yet she completely neglected to mention the context of her wish. It seemed Ria was trying to draw on words that were lodged in their throat. Mayu should’ve coaxed it out of her, but she's a curator. Meant to observe and adore art but never interfere. Especially when it pertains to information, Mayu has no interest in learning. But sometimes the meaning of art evolves as society and culture change. Perhaps Mayu should at least attempt to find the beauty in the frame shifting.
Transition….transition.
It's a noun, meaning the process or period of change from one state to another. So she used her wish to change, but that's still an incomplete picture. Luckily, beside the gorgeous marble statue is a plaque with information she’s accumulated about her beloved. She may not be interested in Ria’s past, but that doesn’t mean she's completely ignorant.
The first thing on the plaque that sticks out to Mayu is Ria’s status as a model. She’s one of the hottest models in the city. In terms of looks and popularity. She’s worn high-end luxury products, commercials, reality shows, and even Idol press tours with SayuSayu. But idols are not born; they are made. So there was a time Ria was not a model but became one. So perhaps Kyubey helped her transition into a full-time model?
This explanation would fit if not for Ria’s behavior. Ria speaks of being a model with extreme pride and confidence. Her smile is clear, her eyes are sharp, and her laugh is impeccable. None of that was shown in her confession. Her posture was slumped, her eyes sunken to the floor, and her voice was low. This wasn’t standing tall and proud, Ria; this was….unrecognizable to say the least.
So if not about being a model, then the only other thing she can think of is transitioning between places. Unlike Mayu, Ria Ami was not born in Japan but hails from America. Any specifics are sadly not written on the plaque. She does not know why she moved to Japan, or if her family brought her, or maybe if she’s a foreign exchange student. Not that Mayu cared enough to probe into this mystery. It matters not if she's a foreigner. Meeting Ria Ami was a miracle, and you simply cannot explain miracles. Yet that all seems to be what Ria is interested in today. Should she just carry on as if this conversation never happened?
An awkward silence hung over the two of them. They both seemed to have lost their heads to the clouds. “Do you want to have a sleepover at my house?” asked Ria. She effortlessly broke the silence. Her boldness never ceases to take Mayu’s breath away. But this question left Mayu light-headed. Was she dreaming? Was the Ria Ami propositioning her to a sleepover?.
A tear dripped from her eye. Stained her cheek. It's so embarrassing when adults cry. “Umm, ground control to Major Mayu?”
“YES!” shouted Mayu. Her hands eagerly sank into Ria’s shoulder and shook her body. Her excitement was bursting at the seams. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” squealed Mayu. They've never done a sleepover together before. And to see Ria’s house on top of it. She'll finally glean the heavenly castle Ria calls home. Will they give each other makeovers or friendly massages or spend the night gazing at each other? If only Mayu had prior experience so she could impress Ria. It's embarrassing that an eighteen-year-old girl has never slept over at someone’s house before. People have been friendly to Mayu, but no one until Ria actually invested time into her.
I adore you, Ria Ami.
Though someone before Ria did try to pressure her into spending the night at his place. Him. That infernal portrait looms over Mayu. Both of his hands pressed down on her shoulders. Feeling as if she was going to be pushed into the ground unless she yielded. What would he have done to her if she did? The frame contains the answer, but Mayu is set on keeping the image shrouded behind the black veil. It's simply a pesky nightmare that will not find her tonight. She’s sleeping with Ria Ami tonight, not him.
Not that kind of ‘sleeping.’
This is why you don’t rationalize away miracles. Asking what their wishes were or what trauma brought them together are the wrong questions. What matters is what art makes you feel, not what went into creating it. She’s not defined by what happened with her boss. Ria absolved Mayu of that sin. Mayu Kozue is pure; no need to look any closer.
To gaze upon the eternal castle where her fair princess dwelled was something Mayu sought to capture in her gallery. So many fairytales climax at princesses arriving at grand castles built on top of sunsets. If Ria Ami came from anywhere, it would be from a castle bathed in sunlight. Her imagination recalled Sandro Botticelli's Birth of Venus. Yes, a massive clam would be the perfect bed for her beloved. She is a pearl after all.
Her expectations became tempered when Ria presented her with an apartment complex. Not exactly a castle. Perhaps Ria is more of a Cinderella than the Odette she was expecting. Mayu Kozue became utterly shattered upon entering Apartment 402. It was not bigger on the inside. And worse, Ria Ami’s room was less Birth of Venus and more…Botticelli’s Map of Hell.
Mayu had unfortunately taken up the role of Dante and found herself in a circle of hell. Her room was ghoulish. How Mayu wished she hadn’t left her shoes at the walkway. Curse the social costumes her mother instilled in her. There was a bed in the far corner of her room that was relatively put together. It could be her lifeboat; she just needs to trek through the pools of garbage surrounding it. She has her floral socks on; her ankles should be safe from an infection.
She took a few quick steps and planted herself on the bed. “Glad you’re making yourself at home,” remarked Ria. Sweat dripped against Mayu’s forehead. She kept her lips pressed; pressure built up inside. She must reprimand Ria for this assault on basic living. Drying nail polish bottles, rotting dishes, dirty clothes, hair curls, an ironing board with a broken leg. Needles for Sewing and injecting. Pill bottles. The more layers Mayu pulled back, the more disturbing the image became. They say a room reflects the owner. What does this say about her beloved that instead of living as a queen, she lives in this sty? In their months of friendship, Mayu has never once insulted Ria Ami. She is nothing like Manaka Kurmui, and she’d prefer to keep it that way.
“Uh, what's the sleeping arrangement?” asked Mayu. A good conversation will distract Mayu. “I don’t have a sleeping bag or perhaps a couch?”
“We can just share my bed,” answered Ria.
A pink blush pinned into Mayu’s cheeks. She did not realize sleepovers involved sharing a bed. Isn’t that too intimate? If they’re too close, what would become of their innocence? Friends are not romantic partners, and yet the lines can blur. Friends or even co-workers can fool around behind closed doors, but surely Ria’s head is above such immaturity.
“I know we’ve never had a sleepover before, and don’t get me wrong, I’m excited, but…” Ria trailed off. The words lodged in her throat. Suddenly, everything clicked. Why Ria confessed her wish, why she's opening herself up. She wants to take their relationship to the next level. Physical intimacy with her beloved? Mayu truly is Pygmalion about to make love with Galatea. Mayu’s fingers tighten against her pounding heart. Her thoughts scatter across the canvas into an unknowable inkblot. “I need your help with something…sensitive,” mumbled Ria. She averted her eyes from Mayu, her cheeks blushing. This is it; she’s breaching the top of S-E-X. Can two girls even connect like that? Her beloved is throwing away her purity for someone like Mayu? Why does her beloved want to make her out to be a whore? What about holding your head high? Why did Ria even stop Mayu from having sex with her boss in the first place if she was just going to behave in this manner?!
“I CAN’T HAVE SEX WITH YOU!” screamed Mayu.
Mayu panted. A blush capped Ria’s complete bewilderment. Her fist tightened. Her blue eyes, once an ocean, were now engulfed in a blue blaze. Perhaps Mayu misread the situation.
“You… idiot,” hissed Ria. Her beloved is about to lash criticism at her. It's fine. Ria Ami’s criticism is always constructive, even if it sounds harsh. Her words may hurt, but they’re coming from such kind, delicate lips. Her mouth opened, but nothing came out. She took a deep exhale and flipped her hair around. She put composure together. “Apologies. I see how you could misunderstand. This isn’t about sex,” asserted Ria. Relief dripped down Mayu’s canvas. She sighed with relief.
“I need your help with my shot.”
That request also didn’t fit. “Like a photoshoot?”
“No!” shouted Ria. “My estrogen shot! Can you inject this into my thigh for me?” pleaded Ria. She held up a small vial with yellow liquid labeled "Estradiol Cypionate” With those two words, Mayu finally made sense of Ria Ami. One other definition for transition slipped Mayu’s mind. People who use hormones to change their bodies to match the gender they identify with. Meaning Ria wasn’t just confessing her wish but confessing her status as…
I’m an idiot.
Her friend was coming out to her, and it completely went over her head. She is the worst friend ever. Why must navigating social situations be like analyzing abstract art? So then Kyubey completed her hormone therapy… “Wait, if you used your wish to become a naturally beautiful girl, then why do you need hormone therapy at all? Shouldn’t your body produce estrogen like any other girl?”
That question made Ria flinch. She sighed. “My wish gave me many things I dreamt of.” Her fingers pointed to her hair, then her eyes, and finally rested at her breasts. “However, Kyubey left out the most important thing.” She trailed off again. Eyes growing vacant. Mayu must redeem herself for the density of her skull. She learned all this in her Anatomy courses at Mizuna High. The thing central to producing estrogen inside a woman’s body would be…
“Ovaries!”
Ria nodded. Her pride almost painted a smile on Mayu’s lips. However, it faded upon seeing Ria shrink into herself. Her limbs balled up, hiding her face in her knees. She’d never seen Ria so childlike before. “It's funny, right? I got everything else. Why am I not satisfied?” mumbled Ria. Despair choked her voice; what happened to her confidence? “I cursed myself. The femininity I dreamt of will only ever be skin deep,” cried Ria. Her beloved sounds no different from her. The lines separating them are distorting; she will not let them be blurred.
“Don’t say that!” Shouted Mayu. “First off, your beauty runs to your very core. Secondly, you're hardly the first woman who doesn't have ovaries.”
“I mean, I know other trans women don’t have them.”
“Well, yes, but I’m talking about intersex women. There are a variety of conditions that include additions or subtractions to typical female genitalia. But it never makes them any less than. Wish or no wish, you will always be the only girl for me, Ria Ami,” affirmed Mayu. Ria unraveled her limbs to gaze at Mayu. A tear grew from her eye, running over a smile trying to form on her lips.
“Manaka was right. You really do see me with rose-colored glasses.”
That single tear dulled a radiant smile. Mayu’s palm cups Ria’s tender cheek. Her thumb gently snuffed the tear into nothing. Allowing the smile to blossom into a beaming sunflower.
“I wouldn’t be a good friend if I didn’t.”
Ria’s smile tensed. “Right.” She pulled her face away from Mayu’s touch. Did she do something wrong? Was she too casual or forward? Or perhaps…like him? Her fingers suddenly became his fingers. Why must her mind trace her boss’ silhouette against Mayu’s body? It's not an accurate comparison; she’s not doing THAT to her beloved. She would never. That thought casts a shadow at the bottom of Mayu’s soul. Twisting…writhing. If it consumes her soul, one fate will befall her.
Witch.
But she's fine; the Union’s barrier protects her…right? Or do only Union members receive that blessing?
“Um, Mayu? Are you okay?”
She must keep her soul gem ring out of Ria’s eyes. The last thing she wants is to take away Ria’s spotlight. She puts on a smile. “Of course. To answer your question, yes, I can absolutely prick you with liquid!” Ria’s concern melts into a chuckle. Her joy is simply contagious even as despair builds inside of her. The rays of Ria Ami temper the darkness dwelling in Mayu Kozue. Just focus on the silver lining; forget the storm brewing in her soul. Mayu does not care that Ria is a trans woman. Their friendship is just fine. Nothing will change because of this. Change is the last thing Mayu wants.
Within the Museum of her subconscious. Upon her beloved Ria’s shoulder, her fingers grip the hard marble. Pressure builds as Mayu’s fingers send cracks down Ria’s shoulders. Bright blue paint oozes against the statue's sharp clarity. Her Galatea is breaking; she should be despairing, not smiling. Don’t smile as he did.