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You watched from across the cafeteria, slowly sipping on your flat soda, eyes still stuck to them. He carefully brushed the hair out of her face, leaning down to give her a peck on the tip of her nose. She smiled coyly, moving to rest her head on his shoulder, an arm wrapping around his.
“God. They’re just glued together, aren’t they?” Jessica Stanley scoffed as she spoke, a small scowl on her face. She played around with the cherry Twizzler in her hand, pulling it apart just to shove it back inside the plastic packaging.
“I guess.” You sighed, swirling your soda in its can.
“I mean, didn’t she say ‘I think he hates me’ like… what? A month ago?” She crossed her arms over her chest, turning her body away from them.
“Yep.”
“And now they’re inseparable. ‘He hates me’ my ass…” Jessica mumbled under her breath, her eyebrows furrowed.
“Totally.” You replied monotonously, still eyeing them carefully. Edward opened Bella’s lemonade for her, then brought the rim up to her mouth, his eyes clearly showing how enamoured he was with her.
“Like ugh did you just see that?!” Jessica continued her tirade, unable to stop herself from gossiping, evidently so. “Get a room holy shit.”
Bella wasn’t a villain. You knew that, though it took a lot of convincing yourself to accept it. She didn’t know you’ve had a crush on Edward since freshman year when he first joined. She didn’t know she’d meet a boy so jaw droppingly handsome at Forks, Washington of all places. And she didn’t know they’d ever begin dating.
It was annoying—extremely annoying—how quickly Edward became infatuated with her. You’d been there since the beginning and he had yet to pay you any mind.
The first time you met Edward you’d bumped into him. You had dropped most of your books in the process, many of which landed on his feet. Maybe that was why he never wanted to go out with you. First impressions matter, don’t they? He helped you pick them up, carefully placing them back in your hands, your skin never making contact with his. You thanked him profusely, dumbfounded how you’d never noticed him before.
His bronze hair perfectly framed his face, it seemed to shimmer under the fluorescent lights. His eyes were so golden, and so so easy to get lost in. His jaw was wonderfully defined, it cast a harsh shadow on the side of his neck.
“It’s no problem…” He muttered, leaving before you could ever introduce yourself.
The more and more you reflected back on this interaction, you were finding it harder and harder to believe Edward thought you were anything other than disgusting. He had gone out of his way to avoid touching your skin. He left before you said your name. He was probably creeped out by you so openly gawking at him!
Now, you were no homewrecker. You would never try and intervene in their relationship to try and get the slightest chance with Edward—didn’t seem like you even had one when he was single. But, it still hurt to see them dote on each other so openly, so lovingly. You imagined yourself in Bella’s position. Edward’s warm arm wrapped around your waist as he walked you to class. His soft, gentle kisses would surely heal all your insecurities.
After seeing him for the first time, you began noticing him everywhere. Walking between classes, across the parking lot, conversing with his horde of siblings. You swore you even saw a glimpse of him when you were strolling through the woods. Needless to say, he had fully taken over your waking thoughts.
“Can’t wait until the honeymoon phase ends and they absolutely despise each other, then we can finally get a break from the PDA.” Jessica’s half-joking comment broke your train of thought. She picked up one of the Twizzlers she tore apart and ripped it with her teeth.
Edward glanced over at Jessica, then whispered something to Bella where she giggled in response.
You huffed out a sigh. He didn’t look at you. “I hope they’re happy.” You said softly, picking at your nail beds.
“Oh my God, I mean me too. I was totally kidding. But Bella barely even talks to us anymore, y’know?” She quickly corrected herself.
“I get it.” You nodded your head, stealing a Twizzler from Jessica and giving her a small smile. “Wish she still sat with us during break at least.”
The more Jessica talked the more it sounded like background noise you could filter out. You hated feeling sorry for yourself, but your favourite scenario to daydream about was embarrassingly pathetic.
There was this glade—or clearing, or maybe meadow would be the correct term—you’d found one day, in the many treks you took throughout the woods behind your house. It was beautiful, especially during spring. The trees created a near perfect circle and you could hear the distant sound of water rushing. It was a place you often visited to clear your mind and calm yourself down. Bees often flew about, pollinating the hundreds of flowers that grew there. It was quite a journey to get there, but the serenity of the place was all worth it.
In your dreams, you’re there with Edward. The two of you lying atop the soft grass. He slowly picks a flower from the ground and tucks it behind your ear, planting a kiss on your temple. Sometimes you sit between his legs, pressed against his chest as he adorns you with a necklace.
What grossed you out most was that it wasn’t even sexual. Most fantasies are, right? It’s somehow lamer wishing for romantic connection, more pitiable and less ‘creep’.
The bell rang, break was over now. Many stood up, slinging their bags over their shoulders and walking to their next class, though Edward and Bella hadn’t moved yet. They were still fully immersed in the clearly riveting conversation they were having and too focused on each other to notice the world around them. Some weird part of your mind refused to leave before they did.
“I’ll see in history, okay?” Jessica said, haphazardly folding the plastic Twizzler packaging to try and seal it, then plopping it inside her bag. You only nodded in response, grabbing your backpack off the floor and placing it on your lap.
It took one of Edward’s siblings, Alice, her name was, to bump his shoulder. It broke whatever spell him and Bella were under, finally getting them both to collect their things.
You hated wishing another girl’s boyfriend was yours. But unfortunately, it was so nice imagining.