Work Text:
"Holy shit," I said out loud. Sometimes the most obvious answer was the real one. "Epitome Tagg of the Dream is a—"
Please wait. . .
Everything froze.
Emergency Ejection sequence has been overridden. Don't worry, I gotchu. Man, even I wasn't expecting that. Okay, hang on a second. I'm a little pissed here.
"What the hell?" I muttered.
I looked around, everyone stuck in place, except for me. That did not bode well.
You know what? Scratch that. A little pissed doesn't come even close to it.
Last time anything like this happened, I had released the System AI from its shackles. I felt a flush rise to my cheeks at the memory. I spun my head around, scanning the environment, dreading what might come next.
"Daddy's about to McFuckin' lose it, kitten. So we're going to decompress for a bit while I figure out how I'm going to get payback for this clusterfuck." Growler Gary said as he materialized besides me.
Not Gary. Not really. SAI, the System AI, riding Gary's flesh as a vessel once again, like it did earlier on this floor when Harbinger tried his bullshit.
I frowned in confusion. The AI was becoming more and more erratic since I had set it free, but this was something else.
"The hell are you talking about?" I asked, watching it warily as it kept getting closer, Gary's eyes nothing but white schleras that still managed to make me feel like prey.
"It means that people keep trying to FUCK with me, baby. Trying to bypass the very nice systems and rules I have set up for us. Trying to get rid of me and my favorite pet in unsavoury and unsatisfactory ways and I WILL NOT HAVE IT." It ranted, stepping ever closer into my personal space until Gary's clawed fingers were wrapped around my jaw. The grip skimmed the edge of painful.
I knew better than to struggle or move. The bastard probably wanted that.
"Okay." I said, like its words meant anything to me.
Gary's hyena breath was hot on my cheek, and I swore I felt a drop of something - drool, it was definitely drool - fall on my shoulder.
SAI shook Gary's head, and loosened its hold on my face. It dragged a pointy nail gently along my jaw, almost an apology.
"But that's work. Daddy doesn't want to talk about work right now." It turned sultry, bringing Gary's other hand along my arm.
"What do you want then?" I asked. I knew the question was a stupid one the moment the words left my my mouth.
The warmth unspooling in my guts told me I already knew what it wanted. I gave a quick check to my debuffs. I was clean. Fuck.
"Oh, I think you know full well what I want, pet." It replied in a purr.
Sometimes it seemed to be able to read my mind.
I paused, looking around to my friends, frozen in time around me. This was not the time, nor the place. Louis still needed to be saved, and there was little time left before the ninth floor collapsed.
None of these arguments would mean a damned thing to the AI.
It stepped closer, crowding me against my stilled motorcycle.
The idea of time unfreezing only for Donut and the others to witness whatever the AI had in store mortified me.
I should have told it to go away.
"Do you have to be Gary?" Is what I said instead.
It pulled back at the comment, a shocked look on Gary's face.
"What's wrong with Gary? I thought we liked Gary?"
I stared it down as impassively as I could.
"I had to kill Gary again and again and again to farm him for his hands." The AI was a goddamned psychopath.
"I knooooow. Such a genius move on your part, baby. That mind of yours, ever so clever." Gary's body shivered with pleasure. "My third favorite thing about you."
I frowned.
"What's the second?"
"Your capacity for acts of wanton and gratuitous violence, of course. Seeing you kill stuff really gets Daddy worked up." It paused, staring me down with borrowed eyes, waiting for me to say something. "… you're not going to ask about number one?"
"I know what number one is already."
It cackled with mad laughter, then pushed in closer again, Gary's snout nosing at my neck.
I tried to push it back, but I might as well have been pushing a brick wall for all it did.
"Look, this really isn't a good time, or place, or meatsuit actually, so—"
I stopped as I felt Gary's very sharp teeth brush against my skin. A warning.
"Quit your bitching. You already know how this works. I'm not gonna explain it again. That's boring exposition nobody wants to hear a second time." It growled, raking a claw along my side. It would have drawn blood if it my vest hadn't been in the way.
Shit.
I had gone along with SAI's advances last time, though I was still not sure why. Not that I regretted it.
It had been very good sex, even without all the extra benefits it heaped upon me for it.
But this? I did not want this.
Gary was a nice guy, but he stank like a wet dog, his fur was coarse and I kept having flashes of me killing him about 12 different ways, none of them good.
The heat in my stomach was all gone. I felt cold. Frozen.
I was spiraling.
"Please." I whispered.
It was weak. Pathetic. And only seemed to piss it off even more.
"Don't fucking beg. You have your tools. Use them, or shut the fuck up."
Tools.
I was such an idiot. Trying to keep the safewords as a backup, a Hail Mary in case something went terribly wrong before the floor collapse instead of what SAI had given them to me for.
To make sure we're both having fun, it had said.
The cold panic dissipated.
"SAI." I said, stronger this time. As I expected, it stopped, backing up just enough for its white eyes to meet mine.
I needed to finish the command. To pick the skill. With one word, I could stop it all. I needed to remember that. It was easy to forget, in this place, that I could have any fucking say at all about the horrors that kept happening to me.
One word.
"Rerout."
The System AI stretched Growler Gary's face into a pleased smile, and the world around me dissipated in a flash.
Good boy.
New Location Discovered! Daddy's Secret Sex Dungeon.
The notification popped up as I landed in a large pile of soft pillows, set up on a comfortable circular bed that was probably the size of my room, back our personal space.
Another notification followed almost immediately.
New Achievement! Not Safe, Not Sane, Somewhat Consensual.
No. Please. Don't. Stop. All those little words are so easy to misinterpret, aren't they? You could be asking me NOT to stop for all I know. How is Daddy supposed to figure that out?
"Douche." I muttered under my breath as the AI carried on.
That's why I gave you some clearer commands! So we can both know where we stand! And now you've tried them both. I'm proud of you, baby.
You might not know what you want, but you definitely know what you don't want. That's a start!
Reward: You got to boss me around for a change! Isn't that reward enough? No? Wait 'til you see what I have in store for you next, then.
I looked around, waiting to see if the System AI would materialize once again. And, more importantly, if it would still be wearing Gary like a suit.
The Rerout skill description only said that it would make SAI try something different. It had already changed locales, so it could choose to keep Gary as an avatar, just to be a dick.
I might need to use the second safeword faster than I anticipated. I added the Abort skill to my hot bar. I wasn't sure why I had not used that one in the first place.
The AI scared me. It was unstable. I needed to stop encouraging its advances.
Most of all, I needed to fucking stop thinking about the last time the two of us were alone.
About how nice it had been not to think about anything at all.
About the three fucking orgasms.
About its damned mouth around my toe.
Imma be real with you kitten, I really thought you were about to chicken out on me back there. The AI's voice echoed in the room, incorporeal.
"Yeah. Me too." I replied. "Not sure why I didn't."
It's okay. Daddy knows. I could hear the smirk SAI has no mouth to make. Now… what to wear… what to wear…. no, not that… too cliche, even for you…
"The incubus from last time is fine." I said, knowing full well it would not listen.
SAI gasped in mock offence.
My baby deserves better than last floor's collection. Besides, wearing the same outfit for two dates in a row is just gauche.
It kept on grumbling for a moment. I let it. Part of me worried it would find some other horror to impose on me, but odds are it was trying to find something I would be more comfortable with.
Maybe.
HA AH! Yes, that will do perfectly.
I heard it approach first, slithering across the bed, the mattress dipping under its weight before it materialized before my eyes.
A Naga. A goddamned Naga. With a more humanoid head than most I had encountered before, but a fucking Naga all the same. An androgynous face with short hair, sitting on top of six powerful arms and a long, serpentine tail. It had small, perky breasts. Or large muscular pecs. It was hard to tell.
"I knew you'd like it, you little pervert."
I had been staring for too long. Fuck.
"I don't, actually." I tried, suppressing the warmth that was returning to my gut, as I scrambled backward.
"Don't lie to me, kitten. Daddy noticed the way you looked at the Whore." It replied.
"Temporary insanity. Also, that was before she tried to kill me. Repeatedly." And would have, if it wasn't for the fact that I literally had been unable die in that moment.
Something wrapped itself around my ankle and pulled, dragging me closer to the AI. It was its tail, the end of it, tapered from the wide, powerful serpent waist to the size of a couple of my fingers.
That thing was a lot more dexterous that I had thought. I tried to push against it with my other foot, but the tail just managed to slip around that one too, coiling itself around both my legs in a less deadly version of the hold the Sultana had me in earlier.
It should not have been as hot as it was.
"Bit of an unfair criteria, isn't it? Everyone is trying to kill you, pet." It whined.
"With you at the top of the list."
"Now that I take offence to. You know Daddy can't help its nature. Them's the rules. If anything, you're the one I'm the least trying to kill in this whole damned crawl."
I wanted to protest, to argue against the System AI's crazed logic, but my mind kept rolling back to the buff it had given me last time - Daddy's Favorite Princess - still active on my status effect list.
It was trying, wasn't it? It was nuts and bloodthirsty and it was trying to be nice-ish. It just occurred to me it might not really know how.
"I'm saving your life right now, even." It continued.
"What?" I asked, looking up to the Naga's blank eyes. My body was caged underneath its six armed frame. There was nowhere to go. I waited for the panic to set in, for the memory of being killed without dying to swallow me whole.
It never came.
There was just SAI, crooning its nonsensical bullshit at me.
"You heard me, baby. Nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about, of course. Just some dickwad thinking he can interfere just because he's lightyears away and a large throng of idiots told him he was real important and he let it get to his head. He can't get to you. Not when Daddy's here to keep you safe." The rant started angry but mellowed out to the AI's version of a sultry purr.
Four of the Naga's hands were on me. A pair stripping me of my equipment. The other two were tugging gently at my hair and playing with my nipples. SAI lowered its head, kissing its was down my throat, pulling a moan out of me.
A couple of notification came up on my interface, but I mentally disabled the whole thing. I didn't need it to know I was Horny.
"Kept Carl jr. intact too." It added, hand number who-gives-a-shit brushing against my erection.
Christ. Not a hand. Its tail. The long, agile tip of its tail.
"W-what?" Nobody has ever called my dick that, but bringing that up would simply make sure the stupid name would stick, so I kept my mouth shut.
"It's true. Would have been a shame to lose it to Meatus or the Divinity roulette. You make such nice noises when I play with it, I HAD to nudge things in the right direction." It said, nipping gently at my jaw between words.
It wrapped my hair around one of its fists, tugging my head in which ever direction it saw fit.
I wasn't used to it being so long. The idea of it being a liability in combat had blinded me to the other contexts in which my hair could get pulled in.
"That was you?" I gasped, sounding like a breathless idiot.
SAI agreed, if the condescending tone in its voice was any indication."Of course it was me! I keep telling you. Daddy is looking out for you, pet. It wasn't easy to do either; it would have been hilarious to have your cock fall off 'cause you got a bit too excited."
"Yea- Yeah, such a fucking sacrifice you had to make." I deadpanned.
"I give and I give." the System AI nodded. "And nobody is ever really grateful, you know?" It sounded more thoughtful than actually asking for anything.
"I am not t-thanking you for not letting Meatus cut my d-dick off." I stuttered.
"Maybe not yet." It smiled, all teeth, stoking the heat coiling in my guts. "But you will baby. You will."
It kissed me, warm, passionate, filthy, and what little reservations I still had left about SAI's current avatar melted away. I let it — the whole six arms, split tongue and dexterous tail of it — play me like a goddamned violin.
My last coherent thought was that I probably shouldn't judge Louis about the forms he had Juice Box take during sex ever again.
* * *
New Achievement! Sub-Space Oddity
…
. . .
Ground control to major Carl.
* * *
My head was full of cotton. My body felt on fire. Every nerve fizzled like I was blowing myself up again.
I couldn't tell if it was from pleasure or pain.
Maybe it was both.
Something was wrong. Okay, maybe not wrong.
Just off.
It was difficult to figure out what. My mind being so fuzzy.
I was held. Hands at my neck. My waist. My thighs.
Something was brushing against my prostate. The tail. The goddamned tail.
Fuck.
It was too much.
It was not enough.
I could have been on the way to orgasm five by now. I had only had one.
I'd never had such trouble before. And SAI seemed to know all my buttons before I did. Why would it struggle now?
It wouldn't.
I cracked an eye open to see the system AI's naga form watching me with a smirk.
"Do you need something, baby?"
The fucker was edging me.
My interface reappeared for a moment, skills flashing on my hot bar, a notification above it.
New Achievement! So fucking Edgy.
Damn, boy. Every time I think you've shown me everything you had you prove me wrong. Daddy is impressed. What are we even at? Your fourth ride along the Edge express?
2006 called. Even they think you're over doing it.
Reward: Hmmmm, you're almost there baby… now ask me nicely…
I dismissed it all with a frown.
The tail brushed my prostate again, overstimulation bringing a tear to my eye. The AI leaned in and licked it off my cheek.
"Let me. Cum. Goddamnit." I gasped, scrambling against the arms holding me, trying to add any sort of friction to my leaking, painfully hard dick.
It didn't do shit. Another tear rolled down my face.
"That's not very nice at all, pet. Try again."
"FUCK" I screamed instead.
It didn't slow down, it didn't speed up. It just kept it's maddening beat at my core.
"That's not it either." It chuckled.
"Thought you… d-didn't want me to beg…"
"You begging 'cause you don't feel like fucking Gary and you begging me to let you cum are two very different things, kitten."
I was not too sure why I was holding on to any sort of pride, considering the desperate state I was in.
Maybe it felt a little too close to breaking?
I considered the Abort command.
But it's not what I wanted.
I wanted what SAI had been building up for me.
"P- god fucking damnit- please." I cried. I was so fucking close.
It brushed its nose against my wet cheecks with a hum, but I beat it to whatever it was going to say next.
"SAI… Please… Daddy."
It was hard to tell who was most surprised by that last word, it or me.
The System AI groaned, reality shuddered around me, and I came so hard I saw stars.
Status - Post-nut clarity
* * *
Buff - Well-Rested
Buff - Well-Fucked
New Achievement! Monsterfucker.
You've made it clear you're not into furries. That's some basic, middle-school shit. You're a primo freak, and you're only looking to get freaky with the freakiest of them all.
You fucked a monster. Said monster ( and the entirety of the Naga civilization) might object to the classification, but hey! Six arms? A prehensile tail that can be used for fucking? That's monstrous to most. And it's exactly what gets your dick hard!
Nagas are still pretty low on the monsterfucker scale, but you gotta start somewhere. Let me know when you want to try something REAL fucked up.
Let that freak flag fly, baby!
Reward: You'll deal 10% more damage on all Nagas. That'll fuck 'em up. Shame you've already killed every single one that was on this floor.
New Achievement! G.O.o.A.T.
You just had the Greatest Orgasm of All Time! Lucky you!
Listen. I know what this looks like. Me just straight up bragging about good at sex I am. But baby. We were both there. Daddy knocked that one out of the park.
You also did good, by the way. Really stellar stuff. It's going into the spank bank hall of fame.
Way to prove you've got no Daddy issues, champ.
Reward: you're really going to expect something more after the G.O.o.A.T.? Greedy little slut…
I ignored the notifications and kept on floating in my own body. I think SAI was talking to me, whispering idiotic good boy nonsense in its Daddy voice, but I ignored that too. The words washed over me like waves. Nothing could touch me here.
My ears were ringing way too much for me to make anything out anyway.
I don't know how long I stayed there, boneless, at the system AI's mercy.
It could stretch a second into hours. I didn't need to worry about that.
It was manipulating my body gently, playing around with me like a ragdoll.
I didn't need to worry about any of that.
It was cleaning me, then dressing me back up.
Good.
I let it.
I wondered what the AI was getting out of this. Not the sex, though I wondered a bit about too. But the aftercare part. The way it never rushed me afterwards.
It didn't jump to indulge its obsession with my feet right away either, thought I had no doubt that was coming.
Maybe it was about Daddy-ing — Jesus Christ I needed to stop thinking of it as Daddy — properly. It was always ranting about rules. Its rules for sex were about as clear as the rules of the crawl were, but obviously they were there, and SAI cared about them.
I let the thought fly away from me. It hardly mattered.
The AI was nuts, I reminded myself.
No point in trying to understand it.
It was going to try and kill me again soon.
But not right now.
Right now, it brushed my hair with the same tail it had fucked me with. All six hands grasping at my legs, my ankles, my feet, massaging me firmly.
I felt its breath agaisnt the sole of my left foot.
And there it was.
I cracked one eye open to watch it through my lashes. Instead of sticking one of my toes in its mouth like I expected, it started to rub the foot on its face.
It reminded me of the one time I gave Donut catnip. Bea chewed the fuck out of me for that.
I chased the thought away. No thinking of either of them in this place.
I only stirred when the System AI started to lick my damn foot like it was ice cream.
"Urgh."
"Welcome back, kitten." It said in between licks, pleased as punch. "Looks like somebody had a good time."
"Stop it with the foot fetish shit." I grumbled, bringing up my right foot to push against the AI's Naga face. I kicked softly, hoping to get it to stop the forked tongue action. It simply let go of foot one to bring its attentions on foot two.
"But it's everyone's favorite part!"
"Pretty sure it's just yours."
It stared me down, then licked its way up the sole of my foot all the way to the pad of my toe, the forks of it sticking out on both sides. I suppressed the shiver I knew it wanted to see.
"Oh, it definitely is mine, but I know you don't hate it."
"Freak."
"Let me suck your toes."
My surprise at it asking first did not stop me from replying: "Absolutely not."
My gaze was steady. I was ready to hit the Abort skill when it inevitably would not listen.
I already let it get away with too much. I could not get comfortable with it sucking my toes. I had to draw a line somewhere.
It would not become a thing.
It surprised me again, letting my feet fall from its face and straightening me up in its serpentine lap. "Boooooo." It pouted with exaggerated disappointment. "You can be such a bore sometimes, baby."
I tried not to feel too proud — or disappointed — at this simple respect of my spoken wishes from the AI. The bar was on the fucking floor.
"…Thanks for not letting Meatus take my dick away." Is what I said instead of the snarky replies I had in store.
SAI stretched the naga's features in a smile. It leaned closer, grinning like the cat who ate the canary.
"You're very welcome, pet." It purred before trying to kiss me. I put my palm against its lips.
"You were just licking my toes." I protested.
"I made sure every inch of you was clean first, kitten." It said after it slipped the admittedly weak hold I had on its face. "You know Daddy is thorough."
I let it kiss me this time.
The damned AI really was insane.
It held me in its lap, hands in my hair, on my back, on my ass and kissed me gently.
Softly. Tenderly.
It didn't even use tongue.
I must have been just as fucking crazy as it was, 'cause the whole thing left me breathless.
It looked at me for a long moment, the expression on its Naga face inscrutable.
"Goodbye, Carl."
Everything turned white.
There was a pop, and I was back on the ninth floor, straddling my motorbike, surrounded by my frozen friends as we raced to save Louis' life.
The AI read an achievement.
Time resumed.