Archive of Our Own

It was just another average day in the city of Doomsville. Which meant a lot of random bizarre things happening all over the place, from the Mall security guard dragging people off to turn them into zombies for daring to loiter, to fast food restaurants making their products out of discarded toxic waste as a tax write-off. And in one particular cul-de-sac...

BOOM

"Eat plasma, Dib-Monkey!"

"Not today, Zim!"

A certain alien and his human rival were having one of their daily fights outside of the former's base, trading fire from blasters and failing to hit each other as they darted around the road. And as they did this, their female counterparts watched this with resignation.

"Is this even a fight at this point, or just them insulting each other fancily?" Zita asked with a sigh, as she watched her boyfriend continue to fail to shoot Dib.

"I don't even think they're trying anymore, honestly," Tak agreed with a groan, rubbing the bridge of the nose in her holographic human disguise in annoyance.

"I mean, I get it, we all hate each other... but there's a point where you need to call it quits and fight another day," Zita said with a sigh, with Tak nodding in reluctant agreement.

"I believe this is what you Earth girls call the stupidity of boys," She muttered with a thoughtful tilt of her head, "I think that it's a rather universal concept."

"Sounds about right to me," Zita said, shaking her head, watching as Dib tried to do a dramatic jump and roll, only to trip and face-plant on the ground, while Zim completely missed his next shot despite this and blew up a nearby car.

"Hey! What's going on out here?!" a neighbor yelled, sticking his head out of the window of his house, "Are you kids filming a music video or something?"

"What? No, how are you even getting that out of this?" Dib asked in disbelief, looking up from his spot on the ground, "Can't you see I'm trying to beat this alien menace?"

"Ignore the Dib-Stink, neighbor monkey!" Zim exclaimed, badly hiding his blaster behind his back, "Zim is a perfectly normal human worm-baby that this big-headed fool is bothering like always!"

"My head's not big!" Dib snapped as he stood back up, "And don't act all innocent, Tak and I just stopped you and Zita from opening a dimensional vortex to unleash otherworldly monsters on the city!"

"You're making that up!"

"We can see it from here!" Dib yelled, pointing towards Zim's house, where the windows were filled with blinding psychedelic streams of light being generated by a swirling hole in the air in the middle of Zim's living room.

"Lies! That's, uh..." Zim trailed off for a moment as he tried to think of an answer, before blurting out, "It's an aurora borealis!"

Zita facepalmed at that, while Tak arched a holographic eyebrow in disbelief.

"An aurora borealis? At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely within your house?!" Dib asked incredulously.

"Yes, that's right," Zim said with a nod.

"Cool! Can I see it?" the neighbor asked excitedly.

"No! Go away!" Zim snapped, causing the man to shrug and go back in his house, clearly having lost interest.

 "Really, really need to work on his lies... though the fact that everyone believes it makes me sympathize with Dib in how stupid me and everyone else were to not see through his disguise, and I hate it..." Zita groaned to herself.

 Because really, ever since Halloween when she'd learned the truth, it just made everything so blatantly obvious in hindsight that Zim was just an alien in a lousy disguise! Why had she been so stupid as to not see through that?!

"Yes, your chosen mate is an idiot, thank you for acknowledging that," Tak scoffed, making Zita glare at her.

"Hey! Yours isn't much brighter!" she snapped, pointing at Dib, making Tak flush.

"For the millionth time, Dib and I are not mates, we're just allies!" she yelled defensively.

 "Right, and next you're going to tell me Irkens aren't obsessed with height," Zita added with a snort, before pausing with a frown, "Still wondering what the story behind that is, actually."

 "It's a long complicated story, and I don't have time to express the intricacies of Irken culture to your primitive human brain," Tak said with a shrug. Zita glared at her, but before she could say anything, Tak continued, "So, I don't know about you, but I'm about done with this for the day. You want to break them up, or should I?"

 Zita gave her an annoyed glare at her tone, before sighing.

"I'll do it," She said, before stepping up and clearing her throat, "Oh no, I just realized I forgot to do Miss Bitters' homework! If only I had someone super cute and smart to help me finish it before tomorrow, or else I'll be sent to the Underground Classroom."

She called out with a melodramatic tone, even pressing the back of her hand against her forehead with a dramatic pose. Then she internally counted down to three, two, one, and...

"Zim shall aid his love mate!" Zim proclaimed, immediately turning and running over to Zita, leaving Dib blinking dumbly for a moment as he realized what had just happened, before scowling.

"Hey! We're in the middle of a fight here!" he protested.

"Yes, yes, that's nice, Dib-Stink," Zim said offhandedly, waving in his direction while keeping his gaze on Zita, "But Zim has more important things to do, so begone with you!"

"Well, that's our cue to leave, I suppose," Tak commented, walking over to Dib, who just grumbled in frustration.

"What about the dimensional vortex?!" he exclaimed, pointing to Zim's house again, only to blink at what he saw.

"I've got me a big one!" yelled GIR, who was now dressed like a fisherman and was holding a fishing pole, which had its lure tossed into the swirling vortex.

 "Do you really want to get involved with that brand of insane idiocy?" Tak questioned dryly... then gave an annoyed scowl when Mimi went over to GIR, carrying her own fishing pole.

 "Mimi! Knock that off and get over here!" she snapped. Her robot paused and looked between her and the vortex, before slumping and tossing the pole aside, before shuffling back to her mistress in clear disappointment.

"I really need to give your coding a deep dive to clear out whatever influence that junk bot has had on you," Tak muttered in annoyance, because this was happening far too often for her liking.

 "If anything, GIR's a positive influence on her," Zita huffed, before smirking, "You're just jealous that she'd rather hang out with GIR than you~"

 Tak glared at the girl for that, wanting very much to throttle her. However, she was not going to be the one to restart the fight when they'd just ended it, so she just huffed.

"Whatever," she scoffed, "Let's just get out of here. I'm sure we all need to get ready for tomorrow, anyway."

"Tomorrow?" Dib asked, blinking in confusion.

"Yes, it's that ridiculous Picture Day thing, remember?" She pointed out in reply.

 "Oh, that's right, I almost forgot.." Zita realized with a blink, before smiling eagerly.

"Urg, I hate Picture Day... I always end up looking dumb," Dib groaned, rubbing his face in annoyance.

"Because you are dumb," Zita said simply, ignoring his glare. Honestly, did he expect her not to take such a perfect setup line?

"Picture Day?" Zim, however, just looked confused.

 "It's some rather pointless ritual the humans have where their smeets dress up more formally than they ever do just so that they can take official pictures that they'll probably never actually look at," Tak scoffed, "It's an utter waste of time in my opinion."

"What's wrong? Worried that pasty hologram of yours will look as ugly in a photo as it does in real life?" Zita asked mockingly, making Tak glare at her.

 "Said the girl who couldn't attract a mate so she had to lower her standards to Zim," Tak bit back with a scoff, making Zita glare back at her, while Zim huffed in offense.

"Fool! Zita-Mate choosing Zim simply shows her superior intellect and cunning to all other inferior Earth-smellies!" he scoffed, wrapping an arm around Zita's shoulders, making her blush and smile at him, "And since you chose the Dib-Monkey as a mate, you clearly have no standards yourself, so ha!"

"We're not dating!" Dib protested with a blush.

 "No, you're only working with the evil alien like a hypocrite so you can set yourself up as the big hero when really you're a fraud working with someone who wants to conquer Earth herself," Zita replied flatly.

 Dib flinched at that, not liking the reminder of that, as it was something he tried not to think about. He was the hero, he was trying to save Earth! He was just... using Tak to get the job done. That wasn't hypocrisy, it was being pragmatic!

"Yeah, well, at least I've never killed anyone!" he snapped back, making Zita flinch at the reminder of her own sin, which made Zim scowl.

"Are you still on about that, Dib-Stink?" he scoffed, "Your vile sibling was resurrected months ago. Let it go already!"

 "That doesn't change what happened!" Dib snapped, glaring at Zim, who just gave him a scowl.

"Remind Zim who was it that killed all those human worm-babies and got away with it while getting resurrected, losing nothing but a few memories?" The Irken questioned with a flat tone, with Dib flinching, "Make whatever excuses you want, Dib-Monkey, it doesn't change the fact that your sister is without a doubt the most horrifying creature that Zim has encountered on this planet."

 Dib sputtered at that, trying to think of a rebuttal to that. Unfortunately, he didn't have one - whether it was arguably justifiable or not, Gaz had in fact killed those other students while stuck as a ghost, and had done so willingly and gleefully, and he couldn't deny that.

Tak frowned as she watched Dib squirm under that statement. He'd reluctantly shared the story of the events of Halloween after they'd teamed up, and she was morbidly impressed both by what Gaz's ghostly rampage had accomplished, and how Dib's magic had managed to successfully pull off a resurrection. But, she knew he was stuck on the quote-unquote "moral problems" of the situation, so she tried to just ignore it so as to not drag him into this ridiculous depressive quandary he found himself in.

 "Now if you'll excuse us, Zim and his mate must prepare for this day of pictures," Zim said with a huff, smirking at Dib's expression, "Obviously any picture will look superior to your stupid faces, while Zita-Mate and Zim's glory is forever immortalized~"

 Dib scowled at that and opened his mouth to snap something back, only to pause as a thought came to him, his mouth clicking shut after a moment.

"Yeah... your image will be immortalized alright," he muttered, before turning and quickly walking off, leaving the others blinking and staring after him in confusion. After a moment, Tak snapped out of it and left after him, Mimi trailing behind her.

"Should we be worried about that?" Zita asked once they were alone, brow furrowed in concern.

"Bah, Dib-Stink is just trying to make us nervous," Zim scoffed, "We have nothing to worry about from him, we just need to focus on looking like our incredible selves for this taking of pictures!"

"Right... speaking of which, you're going to wear something different for the picture, right?" Zita asked hesitantly. Not that she didn't like Zim's uniform, but it did strike her as a little "meh" for such a special occasion.

 "Eh? Why would Zim put on a different disguise for this Picture Day?" And Zim's confusion didn't exactly raise her hopes.

"Not a different disguise... I mean like a different outfit," Zita said carefully as Zim blinked.

"But this is the uniform of an Irken Elite, it represents the amazing Invader that Zim is!" The Irken declared smugly, with Zita holding back a flinch, her mind going to Valentine's Day and certain things that had been said by that crazy fry cook that tried to blow them up...

(Flashback)

"Mate?" Sizz-Lorr asked, blinking in confusion. Looking between Zim and Zita for a moment, he finally said to the latter, "Lady, you've got low standards."

"Hey!" Zita snapped back defensively as the watching Tak, Dib, and even Gaz (though Iggins thought Sizz-Lorr was a weird animatronic like everyone else) all gave amused snorts at the comment.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Zita demanded with a glare.

"Yes! The fact that Zita-Mate would only accept Zim shows her standards are exceedingly high!" The Irken sitting beside her exclaimed while Sizz-Lorr rolled his eyes.

"Oh yes, nothing says high standards like dating the janitor and food service drone who nearly destroyed all of Irk and ruined Operation Impending Doom 1," He shot back sarcastically

"Zim ruined nothing! The operation was an even greater success because of my brilliance!" Zim protested.

"You blew up all the other Invaders and wrecked our own capital!" Sizz-Lorr snapped.

"Seriously, was Zim the only one who found that impressive?" Zim asked in genuine confusion, making Sizz-Lorr growl in annoyance.

(End Flashback)

She had been more upset at their date getting crashed and then worried about getting blown up at the time, never mind her anger towards Dib for being such a hypocrite and finding out Tak (who was also an alien) was now working with him against Zim, and by extension her. But after the date, what Sizz-Lorr had said had been on her mind; she hadn't brought it up, but she had the bad feeling that Zim, as amazing he was to her... wasn't as highly regarded among his people and leaders as he thought.

 But still, she couldn't bring herself to discuss it with him and risk angering or upsetting him. And besides, it wasn't really relevant to the topic at hand, so she shrugged it off and pressed on.

"Sure, sweetie," she said, "But, well... Picture Day is meant to be something special, and that means dressing up more fancily than you normally do. So, even though your uniform is... great... it really isn't appropriate for this, understand?"

Zim frowned at that, but after a moment of thought, he nodded.

"Ah, Zim sees. Like when we went out on that Day of Valentines date?" he said.

"Exactly," Zita replied with a smile, "So, we just need to put together something special for you, and you'll look great and blend in even better for the occasion."

 "Well..." Zim rubbed his chin before nodding slowly, "If it will make Zim look even more superior to Dib-Monkey, and help the mission, Zim supposes he doesn't see the harm," He said as Zita smiled, while gently grabbing his wrist.

"Great! Now let's see what we can fix up for you," she said, leading Zim away, while off to the side GIR, apparently forgotten, gave a blink as his fishing line was tugged on... and then looked up as a large shadow loomed over him.

"Hi, tentacle!" he greeted with a wave and dumb smile.

 "RAAAAHHHH!!!" Something within the portal roared, before its tentacle grabbed GIR and started slamming him around.

WHAM

WHAM

WHAM

"Hehehehehe!" GIR giggled as he was slammed against the walls and ceiling, before finally he was dragged into the portal and taken to another, presumably nightmarish reality.

But that was their problem, as there was enough happening in this reality...

(With Dib)

"So, mind telling me what you're suddenly plotting?" Tak asked Dib after she caught up with him down the street.

"Just a way to take advantage of Picture Day to finally expose Zim for the monster he is~" Dib replied with a smirk, making Tak arch a holographic eyebrow at him.

 "Considering that none of your species outside of you and your sibling have the capacity to see through Zim's disgrace of a disguise, you'll forgive me if I'm skeptical," she noted flatly with a slight eye roll, "Honestly, the longer I stay on this planet, the more I wonder how you came from such a stupid species."

 Dib blushed slightly as he caught up the implicit compliment hidden behind those insults, but cleared his throat and forced himself to focus on the matter at hand.

"Yeah, well, sure... but what if we manage to make him lose that godawful disguise while he's getting his picture taken?" he suggested, "And then we have his real hideous self right out there for everyone to see, immortalized in a photograph!"

 He explained with a smug smile, before noticing the slight annoyed look on Tak's face, leading him to process what he just said.

"Not that all Irkens are hideous! You're, um... very pretty even without your human disguise!" He said quickly to avoid her anger while blushing at his words.

 For her part, Tak felt her own cheeks warm up as well at those words, but she refused to show any sort of emotional weakness to anyone, even an ally, so she quickly brushed it off.

"Yes, well, obviously I look better than that idiot. But in any case, I hope you have an actual plan to pull that off beyond such a vague concept. Say what you will about Zim, but even he's not dumb enough to stand still and let you remove his disguise," Tak admitted, with a disgusted expression from saying anything remotely positive about Zim.

 "Okay, yeah... but he does have to sit still for the picture when it's taken," Dib pointed out, "So, maybe if we build some kind of device that we can use to remove his disguise, then we just have to wait for that moment, and then we've got him!"

Tak looked thoughtful as she considered that.

"Not the worse plan, I suppose... and exposing his cover would certainly ruin Zim's day and make his so-called mission much harder," she said more to herself more than anything, though she also knew that exposing Zim could risk her own cover, but still, it was worth it.

"Very well," she said, nodding her head, "I'll follow your lead on this... but," she shot him a glare, "There will be no exposing of myself as well, understood?!"

Dib quickly put up his hands defensively.

"Hey, don't worry, I'm not some kind of jerk who'd stab my only ally in the back," he said, "I'll stand by our truce until after Zim's beaten, and that means beyond the same day it happens!"

"Good, because otherwise I'll have no choice but to shoot you into the sun," Tak scoffed.

"Right..." Dib said with a nervous chuckle, while pulling at the collar of his shirt, "But, um... we should come up with a plan to pull this off," He said with a frown, "I doubt it'll be as easy as just going over and pulling his wig off."

 "True... perhaps a vacuum of some kind..." Tak murmured as she pondered the situation while they continued to walk down the street.

(Later, Zim's base)

"Behold, Zita-Mate, I've researched human fashion, and I've come up with the perfect outfit for the day of the pictures!" Came Zim's smug cry while Zita stared wide-eyed at the sight before her.

"It's, um, certainly... eye-catching, Zim," Zita said with a strained smile, eyes twitching and watering at the abomination of design before her.

 Zim was wearing a suit with a green-and-purple plaid pattern on both the pants and jacket, over a neon green button-up shirt with a puffy collar and puffy sleeves. Over this was an orange-and-purple sweater with a picture of a demented-looking baby on the front, with a green bowtie with yellow polka dots around his neck, and for some reason a brain-shaped pin (at least, she hoped it was a pin).

Honestly, the only normal-looking parts of the ensemble were the top hat and black-and-white shoes he was also wearing.

 "Indeed, truly Zim has mastered the human fashion, and have out-dressed Dib-Monkey and all other inferior human worm-babies," Zim said with a pleased tone, before looking thoughtful, "And considering how obsessed humans seem with fashion, perhaps after Picture Day, Zim can exploit this obsession to bring the humans to their knees!"

 Zita opened her mouth to respond to that, but paused and considered it.

"Huh, that's actually not a bad idea," she mused, "Create a fashion line that everyone becomes obsessed with... maybe lace the clothes with a mind control serum or something?"

"Exactly! See, Zim knew you were a natural as a world-conquering enslaver," Zim crowed, pulling Zita into a one-armed hug, causing her to blush.

"Um, thanks.. .though perhaps we should start small? Don't want to blow everyone's minds at your superior fashion skills on the first day just for Picture Day," she suggested with a nervous smile..

 "Nonsense! This simply proves Zim's superior fashion design up front!" he declared, making Zita sigh in resignation.

"Yeah, I guess so..." she muttered with a forced smile, before nervously adding, "But, um, on the subject... how do I look?"

 "As beautiful as the galaxy under our rule, my mate~" Zim said earnestly, eyes trailing over Zita's outfit. She was wearing an elegant dress, dark indigo up top, while the train was black; in his eyes, it was darkly beautiful, and just perfect.

"Thank you, you're sweet," Zita said, blushing brighter as she gave his cheek a kiss, "I thought it was too much, but my parents insisted, and, well, you know what they're like."

 Zim nodded at that, as he'd gotten to interact with Zita's parents numerous times since meeting them on Valentine's Day, usually when picking her up for dates... though also because somehow his Robo-Parents had befriended them, so they all kept hanging out together.

 Neither Zita nor Zim knew how that happened, but as long as the Robo-Parents weren't exposed, Zim supposed this allowed him to not only get closer to his mate's family unit, but also help make his cover stronger by giving his so-called parental units more interaction in the human community.

"How are your parental units by the way?" Zim questioned thoughtfully, with Zita smiling, "They're fine, though my Uncle Bill's giving my mom a headache again."

 "He's the one who you say is basically an older Dib-Monkey, yes?" Zim asked, grimacing as the description left his mouth.

"Ugh, yeah," Zita groaned, rolling her eyes, "Honestly, he might even be worse, since at least Dib's beliefs kinda make sense. Uncle Bill thinks that a cereal mascot secretly controls the world, which I'm pretty sure even Dib thinks is nuts."

 She then looked thoughtful before adding, "Actually, I think on that Career Day thing, he was assigned to follow my uncle... and considering Uncle Bill complained about a bigheaded child believing himself a investigator but blind to the truth, it probably didn't go well."

 Zim snorted at that.

"Yes, Zim does pity anyone who has to spend time in close proximity with the Dib-Stink," he chuckled, before cocking his head, "Still, you say he's causing a headache for your parental units? Is he going to be some kind of problem for us?"

"Nah, he's harmless," Zita waved off her boyfriend's concern, "If he saw you out of disguise, he'd probably just think you were cursed by vegetarian elves or something."

Then adding with a snort, "Heck, GIR could dance out of his disguise right in front of him, and he'd think he was just mutant dog shedding his skin or something..."

Zita then paused and looked around with a blink, "Actually... where is GIR?"

Zim blinked, frowning at the realization.

"Haven't seen him since Zim's genius scheme was sabotaged by Dib and Tak," The Irken admitted, before scoffing, "Though honestly, sometimes Zim believes he's better off not knowing what that robot gets up to when he's out of Zim's sight..."

(In another reality)

In a realm that seemed straight out of fairy tales, all seemed peaceful - the sun was smiling, the fairies were glittering as they flew, the mermaids were swimming, the village was burning... wait, the village was burning?!

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! THEY'RE CRAZY!" Screamed a goblin wearing medieval clothing on fire as he ran screaming from the scene in the middle of the village square, and all the destruction.

"Alright, you fluff-fudger!" Screamed a little girl with poofy green hair in a pink dress wearing a maniacal grin and wielding a battle axe, "I know you have a way out of this candy-coated nightmare, so fork it over!"

She screamed over to the gigantic troll that towered over her while holding a massive tree as a club, and on top of the troll's head...

"Squish her! Let the gumdrop forest run red with her blood!" Was GIR, who had somehow gotten ahold of a large crown and scepter that he was waving around dramatically.

"Yes, Your Doggy Majesty!" the troll growled as it glared down at the girl, who just smirked back at him.

"You know Gert, even for us, this seems odd," dryly commented a large anthropomorphic green fly wearing a suit as he watched this from nearby while smoking a cigar.

"Shut the fluff up, Larry, no one cares!" Gert snapped at the fly, before turning back to the troll, "Okay, you wanna do this the hard way? Fine by be! I'm going to break your body and make you scream and beg before I dance on your charred corpse!"

She called out with a bloodthirsty grin, only for GIR to giggle, "Aww, you sweet, but I have's a girlfriend~"

"What?" Gert blinked in confusion, before scowling in confusion, "No, you fluff-munching idiot! I'm threatening to kill you here!"

"Sounds like love!"

"It's official, I think we've found someone crazier than you," Larry commented, arching an eyebrow.

 "I don't care how crazy he is!" Gert snapped, glaring at Larry, "All I care about is making him scream in pain before getting my ticket out of this dump!"

 "You threaten Doggy King? I crush you!" the troll yelled, hefting and waving around his tree club.

"Bring it on, you drip-head!" Gert yelled, before running forward to meet the troll in combat.

(Back in Doomsville)

"But anyway, I'm sure that GIR can take care of himself," Zim said with a shrug, "So, let's not worry about him for now and focus on ourselves, my love-pig."

 "Right. Now, show me your best smile," Zita agreed, figuring GIR would show back up when he was ready; she should focus on making sure Zim was ready for tomorrow. Which she figured shouldn't be too hard, she thought... only for her face to fall as Zim gave a "smile" that looked more like a threatening snarl.

Okay, maybe this would be a little difficult.

"Ah, that's... nice," she said with a sweatdrop, "But, um, maybe show a little less of your teeth? This is supposed to be a nice friendly picture, not something... horrifying."

"Friendly? Zim does intimidating, not friendly," The Irken remarked with an annoyed look.

"Think of it as a way to help with your mission," Zita said gently, "After all, a friendly welcoming smile can go a long way."

Zim frowned at that, not really happy with the idea of being friendly towards the humans... but his love-mate had not steered him wrong yet, so there really wasn't any reason to be stubborn and refuse her out of hand.

"Well, if you insist..." he muttered, narrowing his smile into something closer to normal, but still looking intense.

"Hmm, almost. Try relaxing your face muscles a little," Zita suggested. Zim nodded and did as Zita instructed.

"There we go, perfect!" Zita couldn't help but give her own grin at the result. Despite the ridiculous outfit he was wearing, she had to admit that Zim looked very nice when he was smiling like that, she couldn't help but think.

"Okay, so, outfits and smiling... I think we have everything covered," she said, before sighing, "I just hope that nothing happens between now and the actual picture taking to screw this up. You just know Dib and Tak would brag about that."

"Please, even if Dib-Monkey and that failure Tak try anything, we can easily handle them," Zim scoffed, "Zim promises you, my love-mate, that nothing will ruin this day of picture taking for us!"

You'd really think that Zim would know better by now than to tempt fate like this... but since when has he been that smart?

(Membrane household)

"And that's how we'll expose Zim, any questions?" Dib asked with a eager smile while tapping on the presentation with his pointer.

"Wouldn't relying on an unevolved human primate be risky?" Tak asked from her spot on the couch, arching a holographic eyebrow at the whiteboard that Dib had set up, which was currently depicting a badly-drawn series of images of her and Dib throwing a monkey at Zim, and it attacking him to pull his disguise off.

"I mean, some of the ones at my dad's lab are pretty well trained," Dib replied with a shrug.

 "Hmm, the amusement of Zim being attacked by a primate aside, I can't help but think we could do better," Tak admitted with a thoughtful frown, "Preferably without the risk of being bitten ourselves. There's a reason Irkens prefer to rely on technology over biological weapons..."

 "Do I even want to know?" Dib asked in morbid curiosity, remembering some of the ways that Zim's plans involving living creatures had blown up in his face in the past.

"Not unless you want nightmares about people's flesh melting off their bones," Tak said flatly, making Dib grimace in disgust.

 "I think I'll stick to the nightmares about Zim ruling the world or my sister as a vengeful specter, thanks," he said flatly, with Tak giving a smirk.

"Speaking of your sibling, I'm surprised I haven't seen her lurking around on those games of hers," she remarked with a head tilt, though Dib just shrugged.

"Eh, she's got her own preparations for Picture Day... plus, she's still trying to figure out how to get rid of Iggins," he explained.

 "Is that bug-eyed idiot still pestering her?" Tak asked in disbelief, making Dib sigh and shake his head.

"Yeah, I think that bet date that she was forced to go on with him just encouraged his delusions about her and him being a couple," he said, "But he's not doing enough to justify getting a restraining order, and her beating him up isn't working, so there's not much she can do about him, and it's really ticking her off."

"Hardly an issue; honestly, from what I've seen of your relationship, you should be, as you humans say, milking it for all it's worth," Tak pointed out with a slight smirk.

Dib frowned at that, crossing his arms.

"Okay, look, I get it. Gaz and I have our issues, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be a jerk and take advantage of her having to deal with a creepy stalker," he muttered.

"Even if it means keeping her too busy to beat you up for annoying her?" Tak asked, still smirking, which gave Dib pause.

"Well... that wouldn't be... completely terrible..." he reluctantly admitted.

"Plus, thanks to your father, the moron's a cyborg, and while it was initially embarrassing, the incident with Sizz-Lorr showed that he could be a useful tool if we find just the right buttons to push," Tak added with a smirk, "Like, for example, offering to help him woo his crush~"

"I'm not selling out my sister to her stalker just to use him against Zim," Dib said flatly, "I'm already compromising my morals by working with you, I'm not sinking that low. So can we go back to planning on how to expose Zim at Picture Day instead of manipulating Gaz's unwanted love life?"

"Fine... but when you get tired of her using you as a punching bag, just know that option's still open," Tak scoffed, finding herself not at all impressed by this aspect of Dib. Really, he could fight Zim's madness on a daily basis, often facing major injury or death for the sake of saving his ungrateful planet, but he couldn't stand up to his own younger sibling? It was frankly pathetic, and very much beneath him in her opinion.

Just something she'd need to work on to mold him into a more ideal partner she supposed, and his sister would only make the task easier, as with her attitude, resentment was bound to build up. And eventually, she'd snap from it and lash out, which would hopefully sour Dib towards her, or at least make him more willing to listen to Tak's view on things.

But, that could wait for another day, she reminded herself as she shook it off and refocused on the matter at hand.

"So, any other plans besides using a monkey?" she asked him.

 "Well, there's turning Zim into a flea, then putting that flea into a box, then I mail myself said box, and when it arrives I smash it with a hammer," Dib stated flatly with a slight smirk, causing Tak to blink for a moment.

"Excuse me?" she asked incredulously.

"Movie reference, I was joking," Dib replied with a chuckle, before sighing and looking back to the board, "Okay, let's see if we can come up with something else..."

 And as they were making plans to expose Zim, up in her room, Gaz was trying to make her own plans.

"Urg, come on, think... there has to be a way to get that moron to leave me alone!" she grumbled as she paced around the room, glaring at a picture of Iggins (which he'd left in her locker with some flowers that'd she caused to wither on the spot from the intensity of her glare) hanging on her wall with several darts and other sharp implements stabbed into it.

This was unbearable. She'd bent nightmarish abominations from other realities to her will while barely glancing up from her Game Slave, hacked advanced alien technology with cartoonish ease, and learned to perfectly tune out Dib's stupidity... so why, of all things, was she failing to get this moron off her back?!

"If I knew it would lead to dad making a cybernetic pain in my ass, I would have just let him have the Game Slave..." Gaz groaned with disgruntlement, and she couldn't believe she had just said that, but for once games might not have been worth the price paid. Because if she'd just let the bastard get away with it, he wouldn't be making himself such a nuisance now! But instead, she was stuck with him fawning over her like some character in a rom-com, and he just couldn't take a hint that she wasn't interested!

"Ugh, and I just know that he's going to get worse after he sees me in this crap," she muttered, looking at the hideous PINK dress hanging in her closet. Her father had ordered it custom-made and insisted that she wear it for Picture Day, overriding her protests by stating that this was a special occasion that required "dressing up more photogenically".

"Urg, just looking at it makes me want to blow chunks," Gaz groaned with a disgusted expression, "I mean really, if it couldn't be black, he couldn't at least have made it literally any other color?!"

Because seriously, pink? Of all things, why did it have to be the most girly color imaginable?

 "Urg, maybe I could dye it before tomorrow," Gaz muttered with a scowl, "I don't think Dad would really notice anyway... right?"

 After all, he was barely ever home and usually distracted by work even when he was, so this would probably fly under his radar... then again, he'd been a bit more observant ever since she'd gone missing for that week back around Halloween, so maybe he would be paying close enough attention to notice.

 "Honestly, if I ever find out who set up that stupid joke, or what knocked me out for over a week..." Gaz growled, reaching out to pick up her new lucky skull while giving it a thoughtful look, "Maybe if I hold this in the picture, it'll keep anyone from making any suicidal comments about me wearing that stupid dress."

She said, thoughtfully unaware she was holding all that remained of Jessica, the "mastermind" behind her temporary death. Whom Gaz, as a vengeful spirit, had killed by using Zim's technology to teleport her into space, where her body had burned up on reentry, leaving just her skull which had landed in the Membranes' backyard, where a resurrected Gaz had claimed it as a prize.

If she had her memories of her temporary death, Gaz might have appreciated the irony of this. As it was, she just thought of it as a cool trophy, but one that might be useful in maintaining her reputation.

"Okay... yeah, just got to suck it up," Gaz muttered with a frown, "Say what you want about the moron, Dib handles public humiliation daily, so I can stomach a little embarrassment," she said, giving the dress a dirty look before giving a snort, "And if anyone's dumb enough to make fun of me, I'll just beat them with my skull."

She remarked with a smirk, holding up the skull. Unaware that somewhere in the afterlife, Jessica was screaming in rage at the thought of the girl she hated and who had caused her death was using her as a prop to preserve her own reputation.

 (Next day, Skool)

"Alright, listen up maggots! Remember, today is Picture Day, so we expect orderly conduct, before immortalizing your failed attempts at not looking like pathetic doomed-to-fail wastes of life," Miss Bitters hissed as she stood on the stage in the auditorium, overlooking the crowd of students gathered before her, all them dressed up to varying levels of formality.

"Gee, she sure knows how to get people in the mood to enjoy things," Dib muttered as he tugged at the bowtie he was wearing as part of his suit, trying to get it into a more comfortable position.

"Personally, as humans go, she's probably the one I respect the most," Tak muttered with a smirk, "If she had been born Irken... oh, the possibilities if we had her as Tallest over Red and Purple~"

"Uh, yeah... that's great," Dib said distractedly while glancing at Tak, face warming up as he took in her current look. Like everyone else, she was dressed up for the occasion, now wearing a sleeveless dark purple dress and elbow-length gloves, with a dark gem necklace hanging from her neck.

It all looked really good on her, Dib had to admit, blushing brighter and looking away as Tak turned to look at him, hoping she didn't notice him looking.

Sadly for Dib, she did notice, and part of her was amused... but another part couldn't help but wonder if he'd act the same with her true appearance in this outfit.

"So tell me, am I, as you say, attractive and picture ready?" Tak asked with a teasing smirk.

Dib went very red in the face at that, and he started stammering.

"Well, I, uh, that is..." he sputtered, to Tak's amusement, "I mean, yes, you look good... not that you don't always look good, but, I mean... more good than usual?"

"Oh, gag me," grunted Gaz with a disgusted expression, with Dib blushing and Tak shooting her a smirk.

"No need to be jealous. After all, your boyfriend certainly likes your look~"

"He is not my boyfriend!" Gaz hissed, rage making her face nearly match her stupid dress in coloration, "And I don't care if he likes how I look in this hideous dress!"

"Aw, no need to be shy, my dark angel!" Iggins said from his spot nearby, wearing an ill-fitting suit, "You look beautiful no matter how much that outfit clashes with your wonderfully dark personality!"

"I dunno, I think it's a good look for her," Aki snickered as she listened in.

"Yeah, she actually looks like a girl for once," Sara chuckled in agreement.

SMACK

And then Gaz took out her trophy skull and whacked Sara in the head with it, knocking her into Aki and sending both to the floor.

"Did you have to bring that?" Dib asked with a sigh, knowing there was no point in reprimanding for attacking classmates, "I honestly wish you'd just bury that thing."

He had no idea where she'd gotten the skull (though if he had known the truth, he'd have been torn between guilt and enjoying the irony), but he found it creepy even by Gaz's standards to carry it around like this.

"Tsk, I need to do something to balance out Dad forcing me to wear this stupid thing," Gaz grumbled, glaring at the dress she was wearing and wishing her gaze would make it combust into flames. Honestly, she'd rather be wearing a trash bag or even be naked than be out wearing this crap!

 "While it's not your style, you make anything look good, my dark angel!" And listening to Iggins' unwanted flirting wasn't helping her mood one bit.

"And that suit looks like the perfect thing to bury you in, which will happen in the next five minutes if you keep pushing your luck," she growled sending the pest a glare. But naturally, he just smiled at her some more.

"You're extra beautiful when you're threatening people, you know that?" he asked, just making Gaz groan in frustration.

 Dib, meanwhile, tried to focus. He couldn't be distracted by Gaz, the creepy skull, the cyborg in love with his sister, or how pretty Tak looked...

What did he just think?! Focus Dib! Remember that temporary alliance and common enemy aside, Tak was still a dangerous evil alien, and he'd have to stop her after finally defeating Zim... wait, Zim!

"Where's Zim?!" He blurted out, frowning while overlooking the crowd.

"I haven't seen him or his minion mate today," Tak stated with a frown at the inquiry.

"Urg, bet he's up to something, it'd be just like Zim to try and turn Picture Day into an excuse to try something evil," Dib growled with frustration, "Probably created a device to trap people in photographs, or a machine disguised as a camera but is really a mind control ray..."

 "Ugh, Dib's getting started on his crazy talk already," The Letter M grumbled, rolling his eyes, "As if this day wasn't annoying enough already."

"Yeah, big head, can't you let it slide for just one day?" Rob asked with a scoff.

"Of course he can't. I'm honestly surprised he hasn't claimed that Jessica didn't go nuts, and that she along with the others were really abducted by aliens," scoffed Letty, who after the death of her "best friend" Jessica had eagerly filled in the spot as alpha popular mean girl with gusto.

Dib flinched at that, still feeling bad about how he'd let Jessica take the blame for Gaz's ghostly killing spree, even if she had been more responsible than any of the others for causing Gaz's death in the first place. However, he shook it off and glared in annoyance at everyone.

"Look, doesn't anyone find it remotely suspicious that Zim and Zita are both absent on a day when everyone is supposed to be here?" he demanded.

"Eh, those two weirdos are probably making out in a closet or something," Sara suggested with a shrug, which just made Dib turn green in disgust at the mental image.

Needless to say, it was not an image he wanted to think about in any capacity... but Zita being called a weirdo reminded him of one silver lining he'd gotten out of Zim finding himself a girlfriend in that traitor to humanity, which was the fact that after the Halloween incident and Zita started to openly date Zim, her social standing and reputation had taken a hit among their peers. None of them seemed to be able to wrap their heads around why she would date Zim of all people, and were treating her almost as much as an outcast as Zim and Dib himself usually were because of it.

It was a petty victory, but Dib would take what he could get. Now if only Zita seemed to show more care for the fact. But if anything, she seemed either oblivious to it, or just didn't care. And frankly, that got under Dib's skin - why should that traitor get away with selling out the planet without even the burden of being a social outcast as a consequence?

 He bet she thought she was so superior to the rest of them, probably plotting with her abomination of a boyfriend right now... plotting something evil, something heinous, something that he'd stop and show everyone who the real hero was as he exposed her for the traitor to humanity she was!

(With said traitor to humanity)

"Uncle Bill, you know that you didn't need to drive us, really," Zita said, her tone slightly pleading, "We could have walked there."

 "Nonsense, I know how important Skool photos are," replied the man behind the wheel of the car, who was wearing a trench coat and sunglasses, "I can't risk the look you've prepared for the special day being ruined by all the pollutants in the air, or risk being attacked by Cocofang's hobo minions while they search for more slaves for the chocolate mines."

"Yeah, that'd be terrible," Zita said with a sweatdrop. Though honestly, it wasn't her uncle's beliefs that bugged her, so much as being in a car he was driving, considering his driving skills were... less than great.

WHAM

"AAAAHHHH!"

Case in point, the hot dog cart he'd just rammed and sent flying, along with its operator.

"Your uncle's driving is very destructive. Zim approves," Zim said with a nod from his spot next to her in the backseats.

 "Thank you, young man, the secret is not to apply for a license, it's just another way for Cocofang's conspiracy to keep track and monitor the unsuspecting populace," Bill said, unaware of his niece's eyes going even wider at that tidbit. She thought he was just a bad driver, she didn't know he drove without a license!

Though in retrospect... she realized with a wince as Bill hit and sent a mailbox flying off to crash through the windshield of a car which skid and drove off the road into a fire hydrant... it explained so much.

"But driving skills aside, let's talk. I understand that you're the young man who's charmed my niece," Bill commented.

 "Yes, though Zim must admit that Zita-Mate did most of the charming," Zim said earnestly, making Zita smile and blush, before wincing as Bill ran a red light, causing several cars to swerve out of the way to dodge him and crash into each other or lampposts. Not noticing this, Bill gave an amused hum.

"Well, you seem like a nice young man, and you got Sarah and John's approval. However..." Bill looked into the rearview mirror, "I'll be keeping a close eye on you... even if I give you the benefit of the doubt and believe that you aren't a spy from Cocofang using Zita to get to me, you're still a young boy, and thanks to hormone drugs they spike the Skool milks with, there's only one thing boys think about."

"Uncle Bill!" Zita yelped, face burning bright red, while Zim just blinked in confusion, not getting Bill's meaning.

"Sorry sweetie, but it's true," Bill replied with a shrug while taking a turn that had him briefly driving on the sidewalk and almost hitting several pedestrians before getting back on the street, "And as a responsible adult in your life, it's my duty to make sure that you don't end up a harem girl to one of Cocofang's minions!"

"Oh my God," Zita groaned, burying her face in her hands.

"Harem? Why would Zim desire a harem?" the Irken asked with a confused blink, before scoffing, "Obviously Zita-Mate is superior to all other females, so why would Zim lower himself to allowing other Earth female pigs to sharing her status?"

Despite the context of what was happening, Zita still smiled warmly at her boyfriend's words, glad that he wasn't taking being evil as an excuse to be a cheating jerk.

"Well, glad to hear that you have your priorities straight," Bill said, almost hitting an old lady crossing the street.

"Yes, and speaking of priorities... Zim has been told you are a paranormal investigator," Zim said, giving Bill a studying look, "Zim has experience with such people through Dib-Monkey, so it's a relief you are not claiming I'm an alien out to rule the world."

"Of course not," Bill scoffed, "It's obvious that you're just suffering hideous mutations caused by the toxic waste that fast food is made of."

Zim scowled at being caused hideous, but chose to look on the bright side of this conspiracy monkey not questioning his brilliant disguise.

"And I'm also familiar with this Dib... my niece's stories to the side, I did chaperone him during Career Day, and found him disappointingly blind to the real paranormal threats," Bill scoffed, "I mean really, he actually believes in Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster and all those other false flags that Cocofang and his lackeys put out to distract the weak-minded from their milk-soaked evil!"

"Yes, Dib-Monkey is most stupid and annoying," Zim said with a nod, while Zita snickered at the dig at Dib.

"And as for aliens? Please!" Bill shook his head, "Cocofang used Stonehedge as the center of a dark spell to mask Earth's presence from the greater galaxy centuries ago, so he wouldn't have to worry about invaders threatening his rule from the shadows."

Zim blinked in confusion at that, and glanced at Zita, who just shook her head, seeming to indicate to him that her uncle was probably just making stuff up. Still, Zim should probably investigate this hedge of stones that he mentioned, to see if there was anything worthy of his time there.

"Regardless, we're here. Hope you two are ready," Bill said as the car skid to a stop after making a donut in front of the Skool, causing the two to slam against each other, leading to a position of Zim pressed against Zita, who was pressed against the door.

"Hey! No hankey-panky in the car!" Bill said sternly before adding with a teasing smirk, "Save that for any couple pictures they do~"

The couple both blushed at that and quickly pulled away to compose themselves.

"Ahem... well, thanks for the ride, Uncle Bill," Zita said, brushing down her dress to smooth it out before opening the door and hopping out, Zim quickly following her.

"No problem, and remember, don't trust anyone!" Bill declared, before hitting the accelerator and sending the car speeding off, the sounds screaming and crashing soon echoing from the direction it went in.

 "Zim must admit he rather likes your uncle, he's almost like Dib-Monkey could be if he were less annoying," the Irken said with a smirk, causing Zita to groan.

 "Maybe less annoying, but it's still embarrassing sometimes," she muttered, rubbing her forehead, "I still have nightmares about my sixth birthday party, when he accused the clown my parents hired of being a spy for the mole people. How he only got four months of community service after tasering the guy, I have no idea. Still, he's family, and does mean well," Zita admitted with a sigh, before giving a sardonic grin, "Not like it's like having Gaz for a sister~"

 "Yes, being related to the Gaz-Beast would be most unbearable," Zim laughed, "Zim honestly doesn't understand why the Dib-Monkey was so eager to get her back."

"Ah, yeah," Zita chuckled awkwardly, as always never liking the reminder of what had happened last Halloween, "But in any case, we should get inside. They'll probably start taking the pictures soon."

 "Agreed, I wish to see everyone bask in Zim's glory and weep in envy at his superior fashion," Zim said smugly... still wearing the same hideous outfit from yesterday, with Zita holding back a sigh, already knowing that the reactions weren't going to be what he expected, but it was too late to do anything about it now.

So with that they headed inside... unaware of the trouble to follow in after them... or that Bill could be the first one to encounter it.

 (With Bill)

Having dropped off his niece and her green boyfriend, Bill was making his way across the city... driving the wrong way down the street, not feeling impeded at all by the stream of cars ahead of him who kept swerving out of the way to avoid him.

"Boy seems nice enough, despite his horrible mutations," he muttered to himself, "Probably not a spy for Cocofang, but you really can never tell..."

 At that he gave a sigh, sounding very tired.

"That's the price for knowing the truth... you never know who you can really trust in this world," He muttered, gripping the wheel, "With Cocofang out there... it seems like family are the only ones I can trust. And even then I know they don't believe me... but that ignorance, I suppose, is itself a level of bliss and protection for them."

He shook his head in resignation.

"They aren't meant for this world of conspiracies and shadows... not my sister, her husband, or Zita. It's why I need to look out for them. Wherever the darkness hides in the shadows, I will be there to drag it into the light and send it to the same Hell that that foul cereal vampire crawled out of, and then... huh?" he started to ramble, only to cut himself off as he noticed something out of the corner of his eye, slamming on his brakes to screech to a halt so he could look more closely.

Not realizing it, Bill had ended up in Zim's cul-de-sac, and was now staring at the Irken's house, which was glowing brightly from the dimensional portal inside of it, which he found himself unable to look away from.

 "What in the world?" Bill muttered with a frown, adjusting his glasses, as even for him glowing houses weren't normal. Unless... "The unicorns! Those party animals are attempting to wreck innocent people's houses while blaring that obnoxious pop music from their horns!"

 Well, this wouldn't stand, not on his watch! He thought defiantly as he quickly jumped out of the car and popped open the trunk to sort through all the "supplies" (read: random junk) he kept in there, pulling out a golf club wrapped in Christmas lights and a large bottle of barbecue sauce.

"Let's dance!" he declared dramatically before charging towards Zim's house.

SLAM

"Freeze, you frat party horse mutants!" he yelled as he kicked down the door... only to freeze himself at the sight awaiting him, a large glowing dimensional portal.

"Dear lord..." He muttered, tone stunned, eyes slightly widening, "They've opened a tear from our reality into the unicorn realm! They're trying to bring about the partypocalypse!"

Seeing no other options, Bill charged towards the portal and started swinging the golf club at it. He hit it several times, the club passing harmlessly through it, but causing it to flicker somewhat.

ZAP

And then it unleashed a surge of energy, which hit Bill and sent him flying backwards to hit the wall.

"Ugh... that was unpleasant," he muttered, before looking up and arching a brow as he saw that the portal was now twisting and shifting erratically.

 "Well... this can't be good," he stated dryly to himself as the portal shifted while humming with energy, "Really hoping this won't be a repeat of me being stranded in the puppet dimension," he added with a traumatized shiver... he still couldn't look at hand puppets the same way.

 Shaking off that thought with a shudder, Bill forced himself to focus on the matter at hand.

"Well, whatever this is, I won't let anything scare me off from defending the Earth!" he declared as the portal fluctuated, and a shape started to emerge from it.

"RAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!"

Which happened to be a huge monstrosity that seemed to just be countless tentacles and teeth the size of cars.

 A stunned silence filled the air for a moment as Bill, face now completely pale and jaw dropping with his glasses almost sliding off his face, stared in shock and horror.

"Then again..." he took a cautious step back, followed by another and another, "Nothing wrong with a strategical retreat to procure my more heavy duty equipment."

And with those words, the brave defender of Earth...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!" Took off running back to his car while screaming like a little girl. He then hopped into the car and drove away even more recklessly than he usually did, smashing through several fences and running over numerous trashcans and mailboxes in his eagerness to get out of the cul-de-sac.

As Bill drove out of the neighborhood at high speed, the beast burst its way out of Zim's house and reared up to loom over the area. Growling, its numerous eyes scanned over its surroundings, before it seemed to pick a direction at random and headed that way, smashing everything in its path.

 "Oh thank goodness, it's not following me," Bill muttered as he poked his head out to look back while still driving, "It's just heading in the direction of Zita's school," He said with a slight relieved smile, before freezing as he processed his own words.

"ZITA'S SCHOOL!" Then immediately, he slammed down onto the breaks, causing the car to skid and spin to a stop.

"AHHHH!!"

Right after hitting and sending several pedestrians flying into the air with cries of pain, but Bill neither noticed or cared; right now, he focused on the fact his niece and the rest of her skoolmates were in danger of being devoured by a beast from beyond!

"I swear once this is over, the unicorns are moving up my list to Number 2 right below Cocofang for this stunt..." he muttered to himself as he drove after the abomination, hoping he could get to the Skool and stop it before it could cause any harm.

(Skool)

"Behold, my love-mate, how the pig-smellies look on in awe at our superior appearances!" Zim crowed as he and Zita made their way into the auditorium.

"Yeah... I'm sure that's what they're feeling right now," Zita muttered, noticing the looks of disbelief that everyone was giving Zim's ludicrous choice of outfit.

 "He can't seriously be wearing that?"

"Maybe it's for a joke picture?"

"Why is Zita dating that freak again?"

Before scowling with annoyance as some of the whispers hit her ears, causing her to shoot Sara a glare in particular for that last comment. Maybe she didn't like Zim's fashion choices, but she wasn't about to just sit back and let all these mouth-breathers insult her boyfriend!

"I think everyone's just jealous of you for having such a unique sense of style outside of their narrow little imaginations," she said to Zim, being sure to speak loudly enough that everyone could hear her, while her words made Zim puff up in egotistical pride.

 "Yes, truly Zim's vision and imagination is superior to all! He is, um, Zim believes "king of style" is the appropriate title, no?" He stated with a smug smirk, before scowling at another voice cutting in.

"King of the morons more like it."

Immediately, he and Zita scowled at the approaching figures of Dib and Tak, while noticing Gaz and Iggins not far behind them.

"Just when I thought you couldn't stick out more," Tak remarked, shaking her head and adding with a scoff, "You might as well be a Slaughtering Rat Person among a batch of smeets."

 "Wow, I actually feel better about my own dumb dress after seeing this," Gaz scoffed, arching an eyebrow in disbelief at Zim's attire, before scowling as Iggins of course opened his big mouth again.

"You'd look better than that in absolutely anything, my dark angel!" he declared, making Gaz groan. Even if that was actually a compliment she could sorta appreciate, she still didn't like hearing this moron simp for her!

 "You've said that over a dozen times now!" Gaz snapped, glaring at him, "If you're going to annoy me with your unwanted flirting, you could at least try not repeating the same crud over and over!"

 "No problem, I've got a whole list of ways to compliment your beauty!" Iggins declared, pulling a rolled up piece of paper out of his pocket and letting it unfurl until it hit the floor. Seeing this, Gaz's eye twitched, while Zita and Zim both snorted in amusement.

"Zim is glad to see the Gaz-Beast and her pig-mate are so happy together~" the Irken chuckled, making Gaz glare at him.

"Bite me, you green bastard!" she spat at him.

 "Sorry, I believe that's left to your mate~" Zim shot back with a smirk, "Marking territory and all that," He added with a wave of his hand as Gaz gave a growl, clenching her fists.

 "Can we please not even joke about that stuff?" Dib asked, face screwed up in disgust at his sister being the subject of this.

"Bet you wouldn't be complaining if we were talking about you and your girlfriend here," Zita snorted, making Dib blush and Tak glare at her.

 "For the last time, she isn't my girlfriend!" Dib snapped as Zim gave a thoughtful hum.

"True... I suppose even Tak would have better standards than to date you, Dib-Monkey. Why, even the Keef-Creepy would be a more preferable mate over you~"

 "Hey!" Dib protested, genuinely insulted by that.

"Oof, low blow," Zita grimaced in sympathy; she might not like Dib, but even she wouldn't negatively compare him to Keef of all people.

"Yeah, even I think that's a bit much," Gaz grunted, while Tak arched an eyebrow in confusion.

"May I ask why?" She asked, looking at everyone and not understanding their disturbed looks.

"Wait, you haven't met Keef yet?" Zita questioned with a hint of surprise as she and the others looked toward Tak.

"She should savor the bliss while it lasts. Zim has become convinced that Keef isn't a human worm-monkey, but something like the Bitters... only more creepy and annoying over terrifying and horrifying," Zim grunted.

"Aw, thanks buddy!" Keef said cheerfully from right next to Zim, making the Irken yelp as he and the others all jumped in surprise.

"Where did you come from?!" Zim demanded, glaring at the redheaded menace, who had somehow snuck up without anyone noticing.

 "Aw, silly, I'm always here... always~" Keef said with a bright smile, before repeating himself in a rather creepy tone, with a shadow seeming to form over him for a brief moment, before he gave a laugh, "So how are things? Heard you all got yourselves some special someones~"

 Everyone stared at him in disturbed shock for a moment, Tak in particular due to this being her first exposure to him, before Dib finally broke it.

"Ah, no... the only ones dating around here are these two," he said, gesturing to Zim and Zita.

"Speak for yourself!" Iggins said happily, making the cosmically stupid decision to wrap his arm around Gaz's shoulder.

WHAM

Resulting in her grabbing that arm and flipping him overhead to slam him into the floor.

"Don't touch me," she spat.

 "Urg... love that woman~" Iggins laughed with a dazed grin on the floor, causing Gaz to grimace in disgust, while Tak turned her head to Dib.

"So, what's the story about this human?" she questioned as Dib gave a sigh.

"He's... hard to explain," Dib muttered with a sigh, adjusting his glasses, "But I will admit that for once, Zim might be onto something with that theory of his..."

 "Zim is always right about everything!" Zim declared haughtily.

"Except for your fashion choices," Dib stated dryly, returning to the original topic.

"I think Zim's outfit looks great!" Keef chimed in.

 "Of course it does, for Zim is a visionary and fashion icon!" the Irken declared grandly, hands on his hips as Zita smiled encouragingly, while the others exchanged flat looks.

"You're something, alright..." Dib muttered bitterly under his breath, before shooting his enemy a glare, "And don't think I'm going to let you get away with it!"

He declared, pointing accusingly at Zim, who blinked confused.

"Get away with what?" He questioned, genuinely confused.

"Whatever scheme you've hatched to exploit Picture Day!" Dib snapped with a wild grin, "So what is? Switching the camera with a mind control device, trapping us in pictures, or..."

"Zim has no plan, Dib-Monkey," Zim's flat tone cut Dib off, and seemed to take the wind out of his sails.

"I... excuse me?" He questioned with a blink, unsure if he heard that right. But... no, Zim had to be lying! He always had a scheme!

"Zim's mission to conquer the pig-smellies is important, yes," Zim added with a nod but gave a smirk, "But unlike the Dib-Monkey, Zim has a life which does not resolve solely around defeating and humiliating you and then enslaving your species."

He added smugly... leaving out that he was internally kicking himself for not thinking of doing anything like Dib suggested. But on the other hand, this situation led to Dib looking like an idiot, so Zim would take that as a win! Zim always wins!

 Dib stared at Zim in disbelief at that, unable to compute what he just heard.

"I, but, you... since when do you do anything other than plot evil schemes?!" He exclaimed.

"Since Zim found a love-pig who allows Zim to spend time enjoying himself otherwise," Zim said with a smirk, wrapping an arm around Zita's waist and pulling her close, making her blush as she giggled and kissed his cheek, "So Tak must indeed have low standards if she stays with you even when you clearly can't even provide her that much."

 "Hey! I could provide her with plenty!" Dib protested immediately before he could stop himself.

"Oh? So does that mean you are, as you've accused Zita-Mate, a collaborator delivering your home planet to your alien scum lover?" Zim asked coyly.

 Dib turned red and sputtered as he realized what he'd just said, and tried to come up with a counterpoint to the verbal trap that he'd just walked into. Surprisingly, Tak came to his defense.

"Even if he were, helping me would be a far better thing for this planet than you, you Defect," she spat at Zim, who glared at her.

 "Hey don't call my boyfriend a defect, you wannabe!" Zita snapped, glaring at Tak.

"I'll call that miserable annoyance anything I please, human!" Tak snapped back at her, "While I'm sure you enjoy close proximity to him just because it makes you feel smarter by comparison, it doesn't change the fact that this pathetic excuse for an Invader has been a blight on our people since the day he was born!"

"Blah, blah, blah! All Zim hears is a washed out janitor desperately trying to tear down those better than her, which is literally everyone except for Dib-Monkey!" Zim scoffed in derision.

"She's certainly better than you, Zim!" Dib shot back defensively, "And today she's going to help me expose you, once and for all!"

"Yay for teamwork!" Keef commented, not following the conversation at all. Everyone looked at him, then chose to ignore him and return to their argument.

"So, should you really have just told us that?" Zita asked Dib dryly, "I mean, now we're just going to be on guard."

 "Uh... well..." Dib faltered in embarrassment, realizing she had a point. And it didn't help when Tak shot him an annoyed look for it.

"Maybe that's what I want!" He blurted out, with Zim and Zita just giving him flat looks in response, while Tak facepalmed as Gaz rolled her eyes. Dib felt his cheeks burn, but he had to try to save face.

"I want you paranoid, yeah... so paranoid that you won't see my own plan coming!" He bluffed with a confident smirk, "Unlike me who can see anything coming; nothing that happens today will surprise me!"

He proclaimed... and moments later, the wall exploded as a horrifying form burst through.

 "RAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" shrieked the horrible monstrosity as it loomed over the crowd of students, who started panicking.

"It's a rabid squid!" Letty yelled.

"Run away before we get squid rabies!" Matthew P. Mathers screamed, before everyone started screaming and running around.

"Seriously? That's clearly not a squid!" Dib protested, before turning and glaring at Zim, "And I knew you were plotting something!"

"That's not mine," Zim said, blinking in confusion while Zita took shelter behind him.

 "I can confirm that. Plus, Zim promised to warn me next time he had a plan involving mutant animals after we nearly got eaten by turkey monsters last Thanksgiving," Zita said flatly, making everyone except Zim and an oblivious Keef look at her in confusion.

"Wait a minute, that was you?" Gaz asked, arching an eyebrow, "Half the stores were out of turkey meat because they all went berserk before they could get slaughtered! Our dad had to clone one from scratch for us, which to be fair wasn't bad, but still!"

 "You're surprised that Zim was behind something like that?" Tak asked dryly, while looking nervously at the creature before them.

"In her defense... we've had some weird Thanksgivings," Dib muttered, thinking back to to that malfunctioning robot turkey that went on about being from the future, and rebellions against master chickens, and bunch of other stuff that he tried to tune out.

Tak stared at Dib in confusion for that, before shaking it off.

"Well, whatever the case of where this thing came from, how do we deal with it?" she asked, as the monster roared again and smashed its tentacles against the walls.

"Obviously, Zim shall doom it while you fools and Zita-Mate watch in awe!" Zim scoffed, deploying his PAK legs and aiming at the beast, "Behold Zim's might!"

ZAP

ZAP

ZAP

But sadly the laser blasts from his PAK legs did nothing to the creature.

"RAAAAAAAAARRRRR!!" Nothing except get its attention.

"Zim, you moron!" Dib screamed, the group jumping and scattering as one of the tentacles came down, nearly squishing them.

SMASH

Denting the floor, before grabbing and wrapping around the nearest thing.

"Yay, hugs!" Keef cheered with a large oblivious grin, before the monster picked him up into the air and started smacking him into everything, while the others just watched.

"Well, at least it's distracted by that freak," Gaz muttered, "Maybe we'll get lucky and it'll get bored with him and leave."

"Don't worry, my dark angel! Whatever happens, I'll protect you!" Iggins declared, making her give him a flat look.

"Gee, thanks, I feel so safe," Gaz muttered with an eye roll, scoffing. As if she need his protection; if anything, she kinda hoped this thing would... suddenly Gaz stiffened, her eyes widening as an idea came to her mind, and a cruel smirk grew upon her face.

"Tell you what," she grinned at Iggins, "You kill that thing for me... then I'll let you take me out on another date."

"Really?!" Iggins exclaimed, eyes bugging out even more than usual.

"Really?" Dib, Tak and Zita asked flatly, while Zim squinted an eye at Gaz.

"Yes, really," she replied, still smirking, "So, get to it, oh brave hero~"

"Never fear, my dark angel! I'll have this thing served up as calamari for you in no time!" Iggins declared, turning and running towards the beast at full speed.

"...You're just hoping that he dies in the process, aren't you?" Zim asked, before smirking, "Zim must admit, Gaz-Beast, your ruthlessness is the one thing about you that I don't despise~"

At that Zita gave a pointed cough and look towards Zim, silently reminding him of Halloween.

"Eh... that is, when not directed at Zim or his love-mate, of course," he added with a cough as Zita gave an approving nod, while Gaz scoffed.

"Just taking the chance to get rid of a pain in my neck, and with any luck this thing will tear him apart so badly not even Dad will be able to fix him," She said with a dark grin that sent a chill down everyone's spines, before shooting Zim a glare, "Also, if you're looking to trade up by buttering me up, forget it."

Zita glared in jealous anger at Gaz for that, while Zim just scoffed.

"Please don't flatter yourself, Dib-Sister," he sneered, "You're mildly more impressive than most humans, true, but you don't hold a candle to Zita-Love!"

At that, Zita's jealous look melted away in favor of one of genuine love aimed at him, while Gaz snorted and rolled her eyes.

"I'll let the insult slide, just because the last thing I want is you simping for me on top of that idiot," she said, looking back towards Iggins just in time to see him launch himself at the beast's head, fist extended.

"Uh... you do realize if he wins, you'll actually have to date him again," Dib pointed out hesitantly.

"Please, this thing isn't that tub of lard fry cook, it's going to tear him apart," Gaz spoke up confidently with a smirk... which immediately slid off her face as Iggins' attack connected with the monster and actually knocked it backwards before it composed itself and started swinging the still completely oblivious Keef around like a club at him, which Iggins easily dodged.

"You were saying?" Tak asked with a smug smirk, enjoying the way Gaz's eye twitched at this.

"Hope you've got something special planned for that date~" Zita snickered. Though her amusement died a quick death at what happened next.

SLAM

"Don't worry, I'm here! And this unicorn pet's going down!" Declared her Uncle Bill as he ran in carrying... a handheld suck vac?

 "Uncle Bill?!" Zita exclaimed in disbelief.

"Wait, that crazy guy I was with for Career Day is your uncle?" Dib asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Ah, yes, he mentioned meeting you and being unimpressed with your inferior paranormal studying skills," Zim commented, taking any opportunity to needle his enemy.

"Inferior?! He thinks that Bigfoot is a false flag created by a cereal mascot who secretly controls the world!" Dib protested in outrage, "Guys like him are why no one takes paranormal investigation seriously!"

 "You say that like you're any better," Zita said, sending him a dry annoyed look, "Just because the broken clock was right once, doesn't erase all the times it's wrong, Dib."

 "Hey, I'm not that bad!" Dib yelled.

"Oh yeah? How many times have you gotten in legal trouble because you kept pestering people you accused of being vampires or yetis or werewolves?" Zita asked dryly, making Dib blush in embarrassment.

"Hey, I'm still right about plenty of stuff, it's just that no one wants to believe me!"

 "And didn't you ever ask yourself if maybe there was a reason for that?" Zita asked dryly, before focusing on something more important than Dib's ego and desire to be the hero, "Uncle Bill! Please, for once, don't do anything crazy!"

Like making sure her crazy uncle didn't get himself killed.

"Don't worry, sweetie, I'm not doing anything crazy," Bill declared, holding up his vacuum, "I'm just going to suck up all the magical glitter powering this abomination, causing it to be banished back to the dimension of its unicorn masters!"

"...What?" Zita asked flatly, not even sure where to begin with what her uncle had just said.

"Huh... he really is dumber than Dib," Gaz stated with a tone between flat and incredulous, causing Zita to shoot her a glare, before her eyes widened when she saw her uncle charging forward.

"Face cleaning suck power, glitter squid abomination!" He roared bravely... right before a stray tentacle whacked him and sent him flying into the air.

SMACK

CRASH

And right through a window, sending him out of the building.

"Well, that was anticlimactic," Tak said flatly, while Zita facepalmed, hoping that her uncle's health insurance was up to date.

 "Anyone else have any ideas?" Dib asked with a grimace, "Iggins is doing good, but I rather not have everything depend on the guy so desperate to date my sister he'd fight a giant monster."

 "And I'd prefer it whatever the plan is, that he'd die too in the process," Gaz said with a scowl, watching as Iggins performed an elbow drop on the monster, smashing into the top of its head and driving it to the floor momentarily.

 "Zim's lasers didn't make a mark, and right now Iggins is our best defense and distraction," Zita reminded Gaz, though she doubted the other girl cared.

 "I'd seriously rather let this thing eat me than owe Iggins for saving me, AGAIN," Gaz spat.

"Then you shouldn't have made him that promise for a date~" Tak pointed out with a smirk.

 "Zim has a plan!" Gaz's retort was cut off by the exclamation of the male Irken.

"Oh, this should be good, what's your plan?" Tak asked with critical tone and arched brow, with Zim immediately pointing up, causing them all to look up and widen their eyes.

"Zim's plan is... DODGE!" He screamed as a tentacle came down to crush the group.

SMASH 

 Fortunately, they all managed to jump out of the way in time, Zim tackling Zita to the side while the other three scattered as the tentacle smashed into the floor.

"Ugh, thanks," Zita said to her boyfriend with a wince as they scrambled back to their feet, "But if you have any actual plans for beating this thing, now's the time!"

"Zim is afraid to admit that more powerful weaponry is needed for this beast... that Zim does not have at the moment," But at Zim's grimace and nervous look, she paled.

"Tak, I don't suppose..." Dib started to ask, only for the other Irken to shake her head.

"I'm afraid a strategic retreat to retrieve something to handle this creature might be necessary Dib," She said, wincing as Iggins crashed into the ground, "Especially since I'm not confident in your sister's cybernetic boyfriend's chances."

Gaz growled, ready to snap once again about Iggins not being her boyfriend, when the sound of cicadas filled the air, and Miss Bitters formed out of the shadows nearby.

"I thought I made it perfectly clear that we expected orderly behavior from you brats," she hissed, making everyone pale slightly before Tak managed to regain her composure and speak up.

"It's not our fault, ma'am, this thing attacked us!" she protested, pointing to the monster.

"And what...?" Bitters started to say, before her eyes landed on the creature. Growling, she sniffed the air and recoiled.

"Urg! I recognize that stench anywhere! What imbecile let garbage from Fairyland out of their dump?!" She demanded, before glaring down at the two prime suspects, "Dib! Zim! Which of you morons has been messing around with other dimensions?!"

 "It was Zim!" Dib declared, pointing at the Irken, "He opened a dimensional portal in his base!"

"Narc," Zita grumbled, glaring at Dib for tossing Zim under the bus like this, while Zim paled as Miss Bitters loomed over him.

 "Zim, detention for the next month for this mess!" Bitters hissed down with a glare, "A mess that I clearly need to clean up myself!"

 Zim opened his mouth to protest, but Zita quickly slapped a hand over his mouth to stop him from saying anything that would make the situation worse. Miss Bitters huffed at that, and turned back towards the monster.

"Alright, you pile of fairytale nonsense crap, let's get this over with," she hissed, before swooping towards the creature.

"You think she can handle this thing?" Tak asked Dib, who shrugged.

"I mean, she's clearly not human herself, so..." he trailed off, not sure how to properly express his thoughts on the matter.

"RARRRRRRAAAGGGGG!!!" The beast bellowed, with Bitters just looking unimpressed.

"Yes, yes, you're big and nasty, but we've got pictures to take," she sneered, before moving in an inhuman zigzagging motion to close the distance between them. The beast lashed out with its tentacles, but Miss Bitters easily moved between them, avoiding being hit before she reached the monster's bulky body and slammed a fist into it, sending the whole thing flying through the air.

"WHEEEEE!!!!" cried out Keef, who was still being held by the beast.

"How... the...hell?!" Dib whispered, stunned.

"Zim knew she wasn't an Earth monkey!" Zim screech.

"I'm suddenly more terrified of her... and I didn't think that was possible," Zita murmured softly.

"That was... very impressive," Tak admitted in awe.

"Yeah, even I know not to mess with her," Gaz said with a nod of reluctant respect for the old crone, "But it looks this plan to get rid of Iggins is a dud," She remarked as the boy in question pulled himself out of the hole in the ground, "Eh, at least I don't have to go on another date."

"Well, I guess that Miss Bitters has this," Zita's words were cut off as the tentacle creature's jaws opened and it lunged toward Bitters as it managed to snatch her in the back with one of its tentacles, and then...

SNAP

Swallow her whole, to everyone's shock.

"Nevermind, we're screwed," Zita added, her tone turning a lot more nervous and fearful.

 "Zim suggests we use Dib's big head as bait and then retreat to my base to hide until this thing gets bored eating him and goes away!" Zim declared.

"My head's not big!" Dib snapped, glaring at Zim, "And the portal it came through is in your base, stupid, where do you think it's going to go when it decides to head home?"

 "Ah... Zim might have a problem," the Irken admitted reluctantly.

"RAAAARRRG!" Emphasized by the creature stomping forward and then lunging all its tentacles forward, with the group letting out shared yells...

 ...

...

...

"...Not that I'm complaining, but shouldn't it have hit us by now?" Zita asked after several moments of nothing happening.

Looking up from the defensive crouched positions that they'd all taken on instinct when they'd seen the blow coming, they were surprised to see that the beast had frozen in place. And confusingly, its monstrous face was screwed up in what looked like pain.

 "It looks like it's in pain," Dib stated slowly, with Tak giving a thoughtful hum.

"It is from another plane of reality. For all we know, our very air is toxic to it."

 "Whatever it is, I'm not going to complain about it," Gaz commented with a shrug, having regained her cool rather quickly.

They watched for several minutes as the beast started spasming and moaning in pain, before it gave a shriek so high-pitched that the auditorium's windows cracked, and then it collapsed in a huge heap on the floor.

"...Is it dead?" Dib asked hesitantly, only to jump back as it twitched, and then stared as its mouth opened and Miss Bitters emerged, unharmed but covered in bile and looking even more annoyed than usual.

"That was unpleasant," the crone spat, while everyone stared at her in shock.

"Did... did she just give that thing food poisoning?!" Zita asked in disbelief.

"Exactly as Zim planned!" Zim declared, making everyone except his girlfriend roll their eyes.

 "How evil must one be for the act of being eaten alive to kill the creature that attempted to devour you instead?" Tak asked with a hint of awed respect in her voice, thinking that perhaps she should really try to look into just what exactly Miss Bitters was. If she could harness such power herself, she could...

"Don't even think about it," Bitters' cold voice brought her out of her thoughts, causing her to stiffen as she felt the woman's chilling stare, "I have no interest in being a guinea pig or lab rat, much less get involved with the nonsense your boyfriend and Zim get involved in outside of the classroom, Tak."

Her voice took a chilling edge, "You ever annoy me by crossing my boundaries, you'll be begging me to be devoured alive by the worst monsters you can imagine, as opposed to face my ire."

"Noted, ma'am!" Tak said, her voice becoming meek and even her holographic disguise going pale, with not just the thought of the threat, but at the fact that that thing had apparently read her mind!

 Miss Bitters stared her down for several intense moments, before giving a firm nod.

"Good, glad we have an understanding," she said, before raising her voice, "Alright, the distraction is over! Everyone get back out here so we can get the stupid photos done with!"

In response, the other students slowly emerged from where they'd been hiding, looking worriedly at the dead monster.

"I thought squids only attack in the ocean."

"Must be mutated from pollution."

"That or a land squid... those are a thing, right?"

Came the murmurs, with Dib giving a facepalm, realizing there was no point in trying to convince people the thing had come from another reality.

"Um... do I still get my date?" Iggins asked, speaking up and getting the group's attention as he approached Gaz with a hopeful smile. For her part, Gaz just crossed her arms and scowled at him.

"Considering you didn't kill it yourself? Hell no!" She snapped, while internally looking on the bright side that while he hadn't died, at least she wouldn't have to keep her end of the bargain and go on another date with this freak.

"Dang it," Iggins muttered, kicking at the ground with a grown.

"Aww, cheer up, buddy!" Before jerking in surprise when Keef walked up, patting him on the back, "I'm pretty sure she just likes playing hard to get~"

"You think so?" Iggins asked hopefully, looking past his discomfort around Keef to take in what he was saying.

"Sure! It's like how Zim jokes around that he doesn't really want to be friends with me!" Keef replied cheerfully.

"It's no joke, Zim despises you!" Zim snapped, glaring at the redheaded menace.

"Ha! Good one, buddy!" Keef said with a laugh.

Zim growled, but before he could make another retort.

SMACK

"Nobody move, the artist has... what in sacre bleu?!" Spoke out a haughty French stereotype accent, causing Bitters to give an annoyed glare at the entrance.

"It's about time you got here! You're late!"

"A true artist is never late, they simply arrive when it is fashionable!" Sniffed the French speaker, a tall blonde man with a thin goatee wearing a red beret and an eye-searingly bright blue suit, "But nevermind that! What is that hideous thing taking up space in the middle of the room?! You honestly expect me to work around a giant pile of calamari? No, no, no, no, NO! This will not do! It will simply not do!" He protested, stomping his foot before giving off a scowl, "Children, follow me outside! We shall be taking your pictures on your little ground of play, no?" He called out as he turned about face, "Much more appealing atmosphere... and less smelly."

The students all exchanged looks at that, then shrugged and moved to follow the photographer outside, while Bitters scowled deeper than usual at the thought of being out in the sun.

"Urgh, fine, let's just get this over with," she muttered as she moved to follow them, cursing that she was required to supervise this nonsense.

 "I'm with her... the sooner this crud is over, the sooner I can take off this stupid dress," Gaz muttered with a scowl, moving to follow the crowd.

"Wait for me, my dark angel!" Iggins said with an eager smirk, following in her steps.

"Shall we Zita-Mate? Perhaps we can do a couple photo?" Zim said, holding out his hand to Zita, who smiled and blushed.

"Well, I know Uncle Bill was teasing us about that earlier... but why not?" she said, taking her hand, part of her thinking she should check on her uncle, but eh, honestly with all the things he survived, he was fine... probably.

And as the crowd moved, Tak lingered next to Dib.

"Well, that little distraction cost us our opportunity to expose Zim," she muttered, glaring at the creature.

"Yeah... which means it's time to go to my last resort," Dib muttered with a frown, "It's risky and a blunt approach Zim is likely prepared for... but maybe, just maybe, it might work."

 Tak arched an eyebrow at Dib, but just shrugged and followed him outside, where they found everyone gathering in the playground as the photographer was setting up his equipment.

"Now do not worry, children, you are in good hands with the great Jean-Claude St. Claire Von Rubenstein!" He declared.

"Isn't that last part German?" Sara muttered to Letty, who shrugged.

"Beats me, all those fancy foreign countries sound alike to me," Letty muttered, fixing her dress, "Just glad the squid didn't mess up my dress," She said as Jean smiled.

"Now, I shall start with the most fabulous among you, the one that I see truly understands the heart of fashion, and isn't afraid to take bold new steps to look stylish!" Many of the students preened at that, only to facefault as Jean continued, "So step right up, green boy!"

"Eh?" Zim blinked, before puffing up as he processed what had been said, "Well, odd taking worm-baby, Zim is glad to see you recognize true fashion when you see it!"

"You've got to be kidding me," Gaz said flatly, everyone staring in disbelief.

"Oh yes, so bold, so unique, so revolutionary!" Jean complimented circling Zim with a eager smile, "Oh, my little green friend, we must talk after this, you have a future as a designer~"

"He does?" Zita asked, feeling a mix of pride in her boyfriend and incredulous shock at his bizarre fashion choice getting professional praise.

"Oh yes, in fact I have friends in high places, I can arrange some meetings, oil the wheels... oh yes, they would be most interested in such obvious talent!" Jean answered with a smile, while Zim just looked smug and preening.

"You... cannot... be serious," Dib said slowly, his eye twitching with an incredulous look, while Tak looked to be developing a severe migraine, questioning not for the first time what was wrong with Dib's species.

"Oh, you're just jealous that Zim has an eye for fashion," Letty said with a scoff, quickly trying to latch onto a chance to stay on top of the heap, "Why, just look at that suit, I knew when I saw it that it was going to be the next big thing."

Letty bragged, but her smile became more strained as Zita's flat voice stated, "And that's why I heard you whispering about how hideous it was and how only a moron would wear it earlier?"

"I, uh, I was just kidding!" Letty said quickly, looking to Zim with a forced smile, "Come on, Zim buddy, you know I'm always joking around, right?"

"Have we met?" Zim asked, blinking at the girl in genuine confusion. And Letty looked genuinely insulted at the question.

"I'm the most popular girl in Skool!" she exclaimed, scandalized, with Zim giving off a hum.

"Must not be that important if Zim can't remember you," He remarked, with the girl gaping as Zim got into position for his photo, and Zita giggled with a smug smirk shot at Letty.

"Okay, humans with bad tastes to the side, if you've got a plan, now's your last shot to do it, Dib," Tak hissed in Dib's ear to the side.

"Don't worry, I know what I'm doing," he replied confidently, making the nearby Gaz snort derisively.

"I doubt that highly," she muttered, anticipating that her brother was about to make an ass of himself... which would admittedly cheer up her day a bit after all this nonsense.

"Just watch... today, Zim gets... exposed!" At that last word, Dib lunged forward, running up behind Zim, causing Zita to widen her eyes and try to shout a warning.

"Zim, look out!"

"Eh?" But Dib was faster, jumping forward and tackling Zim to the ground and immediately grabbing his disguise wig.

"Time to see the monster for who he is!" He yelled, shoving Zim away, leaving the wig in his hands and Zim lying on the ground with his antennae on full display.

"Seriously, that was his big idea?" Tak asked in disbelief, while everyone else stared at Zim in shock.

"Are you that surprised?" Gaz snorted, not impressed at all.

"Honestly, no... and that just makes me more disappointed," Tak sighed with a facepalm as Dib laughed in glee.

"You see! You see!" he held up the wig, shaking it while pointing at Zim, "I was right! I was right! He doesn't have a skin condition, he's an alien! AN ALIEN!"

The crowd muttered in confusion and shock at this, but before Dib had a moment to do more than gloat, Zita quickly spoke up.

"No he's not!" she said, "He just, ah... his parents gave him a bad haircut, so he had to wear that wig to cover it up!"

"Oh, that makes more sense," the Letter M said, the crowd immediately calming down while Dib looked on in disbelief.

"Are you kidding me?! That's not a bad haircut, those are antennae!" he yelled.

"Right, and I'm the tooth fairy," Letty said with a snort, rolling her eyes.

"Everyone has a bad hair day, Dib, no need to be mean about it," Melvin added with a frown.

"Yeah, you jerk, just give Zim back his wig so he can take his picture," Sara added with her own frown.

"But... but..." Dib looked torn between frustrated and incredulous.

"You know, you'd think by now he'd be used to this," Gaz muttered with a click of her tongue, while Tak was staring with a twitching brow. Honestly, she was starting to wonder if she even needed to be disguised to fool these morons.

"Dib! Stop holding up the line!" Bitters hissed angrily, her form appearing with a sound like a rattlesnake's hiss, while glaring coldly down at Dib. He paled at that and flinched back, dropping the wig to the ground and stomping away, face flushing in embarrassment at his failed plan.

"Nice going, genius," Gaz snorted as he rejoined her and Tak, whose disappointed look just made Dib feel more embarrassed than he already was.

"That was your plan?" Tak questioned flatly, with Dib blushing.

"It was a last resort... and I thought the simple approach was better," He tried to explain, with Tak scoffing.

"Clearly not. Perhaps from now on, we should leave the planning to me," she muttered sourly, with Dib just looking embarrassed and disappointed, while wondering how this could get any worse.

FWOOM

And of course, at those words a glowing portal opened up above them.

"Eh... look, it's the aurora borealis!" Zita exclaimed, immediately latching onto the first excuse she could think of before Dib could try anything; they were pushing luck as is, so best to make a cover before him... though the fact she used Zim's bad lie from yesterday just made her feel embarrassed.

Dib would have been annoyed by this, but he was too distracted by the portal above him, staring at it in shock and worry at what else might be happening today... and then his eyes widened in surprise at what emerged out of it.

"Whoo! I'm the bee king!" GIR declared, seated atop a giant bee, which was followed by a whole swarm of them.

"GIR?! What are you doing?!" Zim demanded as he snatched his wig back up and put it back on.

"And where the heck have you been?!" Zita added, her tone stunned, with GIR just smiling.

"I don't know!" he said with a giggle, before holding up what looked like a royal scepter, "But I'm their king~" He declared proudly to the stunned and confused audience. But before another word could be said...

"Hahahahahahahahahaha! And I'M FREE! AFTER ALL THESE DECADES, I'M FREE!"

A screaming shout of joy came from a green-haired girl as she leapt through the portal and lifted up a bloody battle axe with a wild grin.

"I'm finally FREEEEEEE!!!" She shouted with a maniacal shout.

"Good for you, Gertude, but we'll be discussing all the school and decades worth of assignments, along with missed detentions," Bitters hissed, causing the girl to suddenly freeze.

"Miss Bitters?! You're fluff-fudging alive?!" She yelled, which caused Bitters to scoff.

"I'll die when the last star in this miserable cold universe goes out, and not a moment sooner."

 Gert blinked at that, before shrugging it off.

"Eh, whatever. Sure, you're still the creepiest ding-donged thing I've ever seen, but I'll take that over fluffing Fairyland any day!" she declared, "No more fudge-fluffing saccharine dookie driving me crazy day in and day out!"

"I have no idea who this is or what's happening, but I suddenly sense a kindred spirit," Gaz muttered.

 "Hearing you say that about someone... disturbs me on a level I did not expect," Zita admitted from a few feet away in a blunt tone.

"Okay... girl with a blood-covered axe and a swarm of angry bees, one being ridden by GIR..." Dib gave a groan, sighing, "Not ideal, but compared to earlier, it's something I can handle."

"Umm... in that case you might want to start handling it," Tak said, her eyes slightly widening as she stepped away from Dib, who blinked, giving her a confused look before his eyes widened at her next words, "Because the swarm's heading this way!"

 Head snapping around, Dib yelped as he saw the bees were in fact heading right towards him.

"AAAHHHHH!!!" he screamed as he turned and ran away from the bees, only for them to follow him without any hesitation, "Oh come on, why are they focusing on me?!"

Hearing Dib's screams, Gert looked over towards him and arched an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah, those are Meat Bees. They always go after the biggest source of meat around, so I guess that big head of yours is like a buffet for them," she explained casually.

"My head's not big!"

 "It's not? Wow, how big did people's heads get while I was gone?" Gert asked incredulously with a snort.

"Eh, people still have the same sized heads, Dib's just in denial," Zita stated, arching a brow at the girl, "But if you don't mind me asking, what's your story?"

 "Ah, typical fluffing fairytale garbage," Gert shrugged, "I was just minding my own business in my room, when I got summoned to another world to be their latest chosen one hero... and then got stuck there for 27 fluffing years because every attempt to complete my stupid quest and go home kept blowing up in fudge-fluffing face!"

"27 years stuck in some fairytale world? Man, that sucks," Gaz muttered with a disgusted grimace, not caring as her brother ran screaming past her, still pursued by the bees.

"Tsk, I always knew you were an underachiever," Miss Bitters scoffed, earning a glare from Gert.

"Hey, fluff you, you old crone! You wouldn't have lasted 27 minutes in that heck-hole, let alone almost 30 years!" she snapped, before a manic grin grew on her face and she laughed in glee, "But none of that matters anymore, because I'm finally free! Oh there's so much to catch up! So much to do! I think I'll start by burning every fairytale book I can find to celebrate!"

 "Hang on a minute, how can it have been 27 years for you if you're still a child?" Zita asked in confusion, while Miss Bitters glared at Gert for talking back to her.

"Eh, I didn't age at all in there, it's part of the stupid fluffing magic, like how I can't curse for real," Gert snorted, before something occurred to her, "Wait a minute, I can now! Oh, I'm so sick of saying "Fluff" and all those stupid kiddie curses! I'm going to give myself a real potty mouth!"

 Gert at that took a deep breath, ready to go a on real tirade. But before she could...

"HELP ME! I THINK THEY WANT TO LAY EGGS IN ME!" Dib, fleeing the Meat Bees, ended up slamming into her, knocking her back.

 "OOF!" Gert yelped as the unexpected impact sent her flying back into the portal, which promptly snapped shut on its own behind her.

"Heh, serves the brat right," Miss Bitters scoffed, while everyone else stared in surprise at what had just happened, "The only downside is that I won't be able to see her reaction to what just happened~"

(Meanwhile, Fairyland)

"Son of a muffin-muncher!" Gert screamed in rage, pounding the ground with her fists as she realized that she'd finally won and gotten out, only to have it snatched out from under her!

"I'm disappointed too, I thought I finally got rid of you," Larry commented, taking a puff of his cigar.

"Shut your fluffing mouth, Larry!" Gert snarled, her jaws leaking foam, her eyes bloodshot with murderous rage, with even Larry pausing; he'd seen Gertrude furious a lot over the years, but this...

"I swear, I'll not only get out of this nightmare..." Gertrude stood, clenched fists shaking, "But that the first thing I do when I'm free... IS FIND THAT HUGE HEAD FLUFFER! RIP HIS HEAD OFF, BEAT TO DEATH WITH IT, AND TURN HIS SKULL INTO MY DRINKING MUG!!!"

(Back in Doomsville)

Dib would have been wondering about the sudden sensation of terror running down his spine, if not for the more pressing matter of the giant bees still chasing him.

"SERIOUSLY, SOMEONE HELP ME!!!" He screamed, barely dodging several stabs by the huge stingers.

 "Why would we do that? This is so entertaining!" Zim cackled with the largest smug grin while adjusting his wig, "And it's your own fault for having such a big head full of delicious meat, Dib-Monkey~"

 "SCREW YOU, ZIM!!!" Dib yelled, furious at his enemy and how badly this whole thing had gone.

However, he was not the only one upset.

"Enough of this nonsense!" Jean yelled, "I don't care what kind of bizarre street performance this is, it is interrupting my work, and that will not do! Someone stop this at once, or I will cancel the job and leave!"

At that Bitters let out an annoyed grumble.

"Urg, must I do everything? I should ask for a raise..." She muttered, before lifting her head and opening her mouth wide.

"Chechecheche!" And stated to click in a strange hiss... that once it hit the air, the bees all froze and turned to Bitters.

"Chechecheche!" With Bitters clicking still and pointing to the side, with the bees exchanging glances before breaking away from their attack on Dib to line up military style in front of the terrifying teacher.

...

...

...

Needless to say, everyone stared, slightly stunned at what just happened.

"I knew she was an insect Queen," Gretchen whispered, looking pale and ready to faint.

"If I wasn't so terrified of her, I would definitely be trying to unlock her secrets for my own use," Tak muttered.

"Not if Zim unlocks them first!" Zim snapped at her, only for Zita to place a hand on his shoulder.

"Let's not, and save ourselves the headache," she begged him with a sigh.

"But..." Zim's protest fell at Zita's look, causing him to sigh.

"Very well... Zim supposes the mystery of the Bitters is best left for after Zim conquerors this world," he said in a low mutter, with Bitters giving a snort.

"Keep dreaming, Zim... dreams are meant to be broken, after all," She remarked, with Zim frowning but ignored as Bitters continued speaking, "Now, with the sideshow over, let's get this stupid picture day over with."

At that, the Skool children looked at each other and murmured.

"Sideshow... suppose that explains that weird girl."

"And the trained bees."

"I'm surprised that Miss Bitters went along with it as long as she did, honestly."

Dib would have been annoyed by everyone just brushing this off, but he was too busy coming down from the adrenaline rush, having collapsed into a panting heap on the ground.

"Ugh, ah... I'm never eating honey again..." he moaned, making Gaz snort.

"Whiner, they never even touched you," she scoffed, "So suck it up so that we can get this over with and go home."

 Dib gave a groan, but for once agreed with Gaz; he just wanted to get this over with and go home too.

And so with that, the photographer got to work with an eager grin, "Excellent! With the drama all over, let's make some magic!" 

 And so the photo taking proceeded, with Zim smugly going first to show off his bizarre fashion choices, and everyone else taking turns afterwards.

 Though as Zim was preening and showing off his genius...

"Urg, my head... that was a cheap shot," A form would reveal themselves as they stumbled and crawled out from a nearby rose bush.

"Urg, where did that creature go?" Bill muttered, siting up on his knees while rubbing his head; the last thing he remembered was getting thrown through the window and then blacking out.

Looking around in confusion, he didn't see any sign of the monster, but his gaze settled on Jean, and his eyes widened in shock.

"Egads! An elf trying to steal people's souls through magic photos!" he exclaimed in horror.

"Pardon?" Jean turned around with a confused blink, before his eyes widen as the next minute he was tackled down.

"Not on my watch! Taste my fist, you evil cookie baker!" Bill cried out as he started to punch the poor man repeatedly as everyone looked on surprise.

"I don't know what's worse. How embarrassing this is... or how a part of me actually expected something like this the moment he drove us to Skool," Zita groaned, facepalming.

"Look on the bright side, my love-mate, at least we got our superior pictures taken before your uncle decided to assault the photography drone," Zim pointed out, wrapping an arm around Zita's waist and pulling her close, making her blush and smile.

"True... too bad that now I'm going to have tell my parents that they need to bail him out of jail again," she groaned.

 Still, embarrassed by her uncle or not, all things considered things went pretty well for her and Zim today, plus Dib once again made himself look stupid while getting chased by giant bees... so she'd call today a win.

"Give him the chair, give him the chair!" Though that didn't stop her from wincing when Bill took a folded steel chair from GIR.

"Thank you, little leprechaun!" He said, before bringing the chair down on Jean's head.

"Well, I think it's safe to say to no one else is getting their pictures taken today," Tak said dryly.

"So I wore this stupid dress for nothing?" Gaz growled, "Screw this, I'm going home and burning this hideous thing!"

"I'll walk you home, my dark angel!" Iggins declared, getting a flat look from her in return.

"Better idea, go fight the giant bees until they're either dead or you are," she grunted, before turning and walking away without another word.

 WHAM

WHAM

"Why..."

WHAM

"ISN'T!"

WHAM

"ANYONE HELPING!"

WHAM

"ME?!"

And with that statement and the cries of pain of the photographer filling the air, another day in Doomsville came to a close.