Work Text:
1.
Not So Secret @HockeyGossip
[NEW] Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov spotted out and about the streets of Ottawa today! Sent in by a fan via DMs.
[Attached: A series of candid pictures that paint a cute sequence. In PHOTO 1, Ilya is taking Shane's hand in his. In PHOTO 2, Ilya is using his grip on Shane's fingers to pull his arm up and above their heads. In PHOTO 3, Ilya has fully guided Shane's arm to rest on his shoulders. Their fingers remain intertwined, hanging comfortably over Ilya's heart. In PHOTO 4, Ilya is pressing a kiss to Shane's temple, now happily tucked under his husband's arm.]
⤷ flopi @shanearg
i never thought id have something in common with ilya rozanov and that that something would be needing our partners surgically attached to our skin
⤷⤷ dee @rozanderfan
remember when all the updates we would get about him were the names of the girls he'd follow after a night out 😭 bruh
⤷⤷⤷ flopi @shanearg
LMAOOO a face full of freckles and big brown doe eyes were all he needed to decide it was time for a 360
⤷⤷⤷⤷ dee @rozanderfan
he's just like me fr
⤷ gracie loves hollanov @hockyhusbnds
that's papa and papa 😭❤️
⤷ rachel berry fan @finchelove
hollanov sightings… during pride month…
tara @snoopypuck
shane's smile growing bit by bit into that blinding grin in the last picture let's all HEAL ❤️
jack @ilyabiking
look at me im shane hollander im the best hockey player in the entire world and i have a fat ass and im married to a big and sexy russian man who is obsessed with me FUCK YOU LET'S ALL DIE!!!!
gracie loves hollanov @hockyhusbnds
[Attached: screenshots of the last two tweets]
two types of people on my TL rn 😭😭
Aubrey Lynn @aubreylynn3
hi i was the one who took those pictures and i feel like you'd all appreciate knowing that right after this hollander hip checked him softly and then they walked a full block just pushing each other back and forth
⤷ Aubrey Lynn @aubreylynn3
they took a right turn and i could still hear rozanov laughing
⤷ cami @skzhollanov
couple so goals they make you start chewing on your furniture
⤷⤷ martina @itafushiluvr
i think this is just you
⤷⤷⤷ cami @skzhollanov
Oh ok. I know where you live
⤷⤷⤷⤷ cami @skzhollanov
please stop replying to this she's my sister 😭 she lives with ME
⤷ lola @boodramz
crying at this exchange
jack @ilyabiking
THIS IS SO 😭
[Quote Tweet @aubreylynn3: they took a right turn and i could still….]
⤷ jack @ilyabiking
@shanehollanderhockey YOU HAVE TO LOVE HIM FOREVER BRO 😭😭 PLEEK
⤷⤷ Shane H-R ✅ @shanehollanderhockey
That's always been the plan!
⤷ Ilya H-R ✅ @ilyarozanov81
heheheh ☺️
dee @rozanderfan
35 years old typing hehe on twitter dot com we've lost him
⤷ gracie loves hollanov @hockyhusbnds
PLEASEEEEE LEAVE HIM ALONEHSDJAJDK 😭
2.
Hollanov Updates @HollanovDaily
Wyatt Hayes via Instagram (@HayesCent)
[VIDEO: From Zane Boodram's backyard, at their usual BBQ gatherings. The main focus is on Haas and LaPointe competing to see who can hold a handstand for longer, but Shane and Ilya can be seen in the background chatting with Boodram's wife, Cassie. Ilya's sitting down on a beach chair while Shane stands half in front of him. Ilya's got both arms wrapped around Shane's thigh, and he leans his head against Shane's hip as he speaks. Shane's left hand holds his drink. His right hand is buried in Ilya's curls.]
⤷ sarah @centaurstars
i like how shane's holding ilya like he's the 24 karat gold labubu
⤷⤷ gigi @hollanovas
this is killing me. That's exactly the grip
⤷ kika @haashealings
cassie not even fazed ik this is recurring event
⤷⤷ Troy Barret ✅ @BarretHockey
🤣 this is tame for them
⤷⤷⤷ kika @haashealings
HI MR. BARRET SIR
cami @skzhollanov
troy's tweet implies there's levels to hollanov PDA that we're not aware of and i can't stop thinking about it
⤷ sarah @centaurstars
the FOMO is real i need to be a centaur or centaur adjacent
⤷⤷ lola @boodramz
No same omfggg…. like heyyy @HarrisDrover… do you guys need a video editor or something idk i had 10k likes on my last centaurs edit on TikTok
⤷⤷⤷ Harris Drover @HarrisDrover
Hahahah
⤷⤷⤷⤷ lola @boodramz
THAT'S NOT A NO!!! I'M SENDING MY CV
gracie loves hollanov @hockyhusbnds
ok but remember how different it all was just a few years ago 🥹 im so glad shane and ilya feel comfortable enough to live their love so freely these days… my hollanov
⤷ jack @ilyabiking
GRACIE 😭😭😭😭 OUR HOLLANOV 😭😭😭😭😭
⤷⤷ gracie loves hollanov @hockyhusbnds
😭😭😭😭😭😭
gigi @hollanovas
enough time has passed (30 minutes) and i think we're safe…. can we talk about how big and juicy shanes thighs look in that video cuz im like still drooling over my screen
⤷ Ilya H-R ✅ @ilyarozanov81
?
⤷⤷ gigi @hollanovas
ill take that as a no we can't
⤷⤷⤷ Ilya H-R ✅ @ilyarozanov81
Smart
gigi @hollanovas
JUST GREEDY AS HELL MAN. FORGET WHAT I SAID WE'RE NEVER FUCKING SAFE
⤷ tara @snoopypuck
HOW DID HE FIND THAT TWEET 😭
3.
Ilya H-R ✅ @ilyarozanov81
@shanehollanderhockey Where are you
⤷ Shane H-R ✅ @shanehollanderhockey
Good morning, Ilya. This is Twitter.
⤷⤷ Ilya H-R ✅ @ilyarozanov81
I know. Where are you
⤷⤷ Shane H-R ✅ @shanehollanderhockey
I took Anya for a walk. I stopped at your favorite bakery to pick up something sweet for you, we'll be home soon.
⤷⤷ Ilya H-R ✅ @ilyarozanov81
Ok. Miss you 😞
⤷⤷ Shane H-R ✅ @shanehollanderhockey
Again, this is Twitter.
⤷⤷ Ilya H-R ✅ @ilyarozanov81
I know. You don't miss me?
⤷⤷ Shane H-R ✅ @shanehollanderhockey
I always miss you. Can you survive 15 more minutes?
⤷⤷ Ilya H-R ✅ @ilyarozanov81
It'll be difficult, but I'll be brave. For you.
⤷⤷ Shane H-R ✅ @shanehollanderhockey
❤️ I love you!
⤷⤷ Ilya H-R ✅ @ilyarozanov81
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😍😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰🥰
⤷⤷ Shane H-R ✅ @shanehollanderhockey
Say it back, Ilya.
kika @haashealings
maybe if we don't move they won't notice we're reading every word of this
⤷ sarah @centaurstars
WELL YEAH WE WERE ALL THINKING IT. NOW /YOU/ MOVED!!!!
⤷⤷ kika @haashealings
WAIT FUCKKK
dee @rozanderfan
why is this kinda 🥵🥵
[Quote Tweet @shanehollanderhockey: Say it back, Ilya.]
⤷ jack @ilyabiking
ilya rozanov speech bubble
⤷ gigi @hollanovas
no cuz why did roz just act like that in public only to dip before an I LOVE YOU 😭 id be mad too
Shane H-R ✅ @shanehollanderhockey
@ilyarozanov81 Hollander-Rozanov.
⤷ Wyatt Hayes ✅ @HayesCents
⤷⤷ sarah @centaurstars
LMAOOOOO 😭😭😭
⤷ William LaPointe ✅ @LaPointeCents
@ilyarozanov81 do you know you have thirty minutes
⤷ Luca Haas ✅ @HaasCents
THIRTYYYYYY
dee @rozanderfan
no the silence is actually terrifying guys is ilya hollander rozanov DEAD?
⤷ dee @rozanderfan
nvm i just saw his post these two are SICKENING
Ilya H-R ✅ @ilyarozanov81
My home is complete again.
[Attached: A photo of the top of Shane's head, resting comfortably on Ilya's chest as they watch something on TV. Anya's head is propped on Shane's lap. The three of them look like extra domestic pieces of a domino game.]
⤷ gigi @hollanovas
@shanehollanderhockey did you ever get your ily back
⤷ Shane H-R ✅ @shanehollanderhockey
Yes. He was scrolling through his Shane folder when I got here, that's why he didn't check his notifications. I forgave him pretty easily.
⤷ gigi @hollanovas
His SHANE FOLDER?
jack @ilyabiking
like i have no words. his shane folder.
⤷ kika @haashealings
4.
Ilya Updates! @81Base
Ilya has created a personal TikTok account and is already re-posting a bunch of videos. I'll share them in this thread and add as it goes on!
⤷ Ilya Updates! @81Base
[Attached: An edit of him and Shane with the song u + me = <3 by Olivia Rodrigo. It's a montage of their hugs, casual kisses, and helmet bumps before a game starts. It has 310k likes.]
⤷ Ilya Updates! @81Base
[Attached: An edit of Shane with the song LEGACY by PIXY. Clip after clip of his best games, both with Montreal and the Centaurs. It ends with a brief slideshow of some of their wedding pics. The caption reads: "who else is doing it like him?". It has 100k likes.]
⤷ Ilya Updates! @81Base
He commented 5 eggplant and peach emojis on this one 😭
[Attached: A thirst edit of Shane with the song Big Ole Freak by Megan Thee Stallion. It includes photos and BTS videos of his AD campaigns, as well as a short, 3-second clip where he's caught giving Ilya a smirk and a wink. It has 545k likes. ]
⤷ Ilya Updates! @81Base
He commented:
(1) This is so funny
(2) What do u see in him @jackieee_pike
[Attached: A compilation of every time Hayden Pike has eaten shit on the ice during games. It has 2k likes.]
⤷ See 24 more tweets.
tara @snoopypuck
TAGGING THE WIFE IS JUST DIABOLICAL
sarah @centaurstars
5 minute old account with more than 100 reposts he's so unserious 😭
⤷ jack @ilyabiking
and it's 80 shane edits 10 hate videos on pike 10 videos of dogs being cute
⤷⤷ sarah @centaurstars
pretty on brand id say
gigi @hollanovas
i feel sorry for the updates account cuz we all know that man just found his new obsession. it's 24/7 now
⤷ gigi @hollanovas
the thread broke 2 times already because of the amount of shit he's sharing 😭 PLEASE
gracie loves hollanov @hockyhusbnds
did anyone else notice his bio 🥹❤️
⤷ gracie loves hollanov @hockyhusbnds
"Captain of the Ottawa Centaurs" & "Shane's husband and Anya's dad" 😭 his team and the two loves of his life
⤷⤷ jack @ilyabiking
THAT'S FAMILY
⤷⤷ kika @haashealings
and let's not forget the bisexual flag. cherry on top
⤷⤷⤷ gracie loves hollanov @hockyhusbnds
HAPPY PRIDE!!!!!!
Ilya H-R ✅ @ilyarozanov8
My Shane is jealous of videos of himself in my phone. Says I look too much at TikTok Shane and forget I have Real Shane at home. He is just too cute ☺️❤️
⤷ Shane H-R ✅ @shanehollanderhockey
Why are you telling everyone?! This is so embarrassing.
⤷⤷ Ilya H-R ✅ @ilyarozanov81
Ah no мой котик. Our love could never be embarrassing!!! Never!
⤷⤷ Shane H-R ✅ @shanehollanderhockey
… Okay. You're right, baby. 🥰
⤷⤷ Ilya H-R ✅ @ilyarozanov81
As always.
⤷⤷ Shane H-R ✅ @shanehollanderhockey
Don't push it.
lola @boodramz
ILYA REPOSTED MY EDIT HELL YES @HarrisDrover TRUST WE'LL BE COWORKERS SOON
5.
Landry's Rosies 🌹 @RosesAreLandry
Rose on Instagram stories! She's out tonight having dinner with friends 🫶🏼 or trying to 😅
[Attached: The video starts with Rose's and Svetlana's faces from up close, mouths twisted in disgust and eyes rolling deep into their sockets. The camera flips to reveal Shane and Ilya cuddled close on the other side of their shared booth, framed by soft, orange-ish lighting.
Shane has an arm wrapped snugly around his husband, fingers tracing the same path up and down Ilya's arm. Ilya is whining about something with half his face pressed against Shane's neck, while Shane is looking down at him with a fond but exasperated look. Clearly, an I-told-you-so moment in Shane's favor.
Ilya pouts. Shane kisses his bottom lip once, twice.
The camera flips back to the girls showing their middle fingers up, and then the video cuts.
The caption: "hello???? we're here too????" ]
sarah @centaurstars
of course they're #that annoying couple omg save my girls
⤷ kika @haashealings
they're so 😭😭😭
gigi @hollanovas
do they know the world won't implode on itself if they don't touch for 5 seconds
⤷ lola @boodramz
i don't think they do no
⤷ jack @ilyabiking
don't let ilya read this he'll block all of us
⤷⤷ dee @rozanderfan
and shane will somehow send a cease and desist to the entire platform
tara @snoopypuck
they don't play about each other iktr #injectit
Landry's Rosies 🌹 @RosesAreLandry
Rose via Instagram stories 😭😭
[Attached: A photo of Ilya slumped on the booth with both hands on his stomach and a tense frown. Next to him, Shane looks straight at the camera with an amused glint in his eyes, pressing his lips together to smother a laugh.
Rose places a screenshot of a DM response to the previous story, from an account with Ilya as their profile picture, right above their heads. It reads: what was he pouting about?
The caption: his tummy hurts and shane told him to give it a rest 4 pizza slices ago.]
jack @ilyabiking
@ilyarozanov81 YOU KILL ME BRO 😭😭
gigi @hollanovas
ILYA IS SO FUCKING FUNNYTJDJDJSJDJS
sarah @centaurstars
SHANE'S FACE IS CRACKING ME UP PELASE
tara @snoopypuck
Ilya rn making it everyone's problem
lola @boodramz
sometimes even big NHL players get a little tummy ache… 💔 ilya pookiebear you'll get through this
⤷ lola @boodramz
sorry ex-bear. pookiecentaur
⤷⤷ kika @haashealings
😭😭😭😭 ????
Ilya H-R ✅ @ilyarozanov81
I lived. #survivor