Chapter Text
Riddle was good at writing.
Yes, that’s right.
Most words had come easily to him, he could write full academic papers with ease if need be, and math and science had never been a problem, but this… this vexed him. Texting was a form of communication unfamiliar to Riddle, and one he thought was probably best left to people like Cater Diamond - he only used it for dorm notifications (as many students spent more time on their phone than they did studying, much to his chagrin) and the occasional attempts by Cater and Trey to get him more connected with his peers (which he absolutely did not have time for, what even was the point there?).
His current problem was simple: he had received a text from Azul (Azul! What did he want now?) exactly five minutes and three seconds ago and still hadn’t been able to draft a proper response! Tact and etiquette dictated that it would be improper to leave such a message unanswered, no matter how enticingly such a course of action called to him.
Riddle read the message aloud, like verbalizing it would help him make more sense of the intention behind the words.
…It didn’t.
Azul: < Hello, Riddle! I wished to inquire how your studies were faring today :) >
As Riddle read the message, he could feel his face heating up: a smiley face?! In academic communication? The only person he knew that used emojis in business correspondence was Kalim, and Azul was nothing like him- no, wait, this clearly wasn’t a simple ask about how he was doing but a ruse to get him in Azul’s debt! Well, he certainly wouldn’t give Azul what he was looking for - a simple reply should be just enough to stay polite without any way for Azul to claim Riddle was indebted to him.
Riddle: < I am well. >
—
What was this?! It was bad enough that Jade had snatched his phone and sent a horrendously flirty text, but to receive such a dry reply from Riddle was practically torture! Azul frowned at his phone, trying to figure out what Riddle was getting at. Full punctuation, not casual at all, which was normal for Riddle, but still made something deep in his chest twinge.
The offending eel had slunk away while Azul stared at the message, leaving him to deal with this all on his own (the little shit). Azul bit his lip and ended up pulling off some of the skin - he’d have to break himself of that particular habit, chapped lips would be a turn-off for any other deals he wanted to make.
Riddle used strawberry chapstick, if Azul remembered correctly, maybe he should invest in-
No. Never mind.
Azul typed out his message, quickly, and then slammed his phone down on the table.
There. Done.
Now he could stop expending energy on this, because he needed to stop thinking about the text and just go back to doing his homework and reviewing the Lounge’s expenses!
…his phone, his traitorous phone, buzzed again.
─
Azul: < Good to hear! >
Riddle was puzzled. Again. He should not be this perplexed by a simple text, he knew that, but Azul seemed to be consistently insistent on texting him and drawing him from his studies. Riddle had responded to the message, as protocol dictated, so that should be the end of their conversation.
And yet, it wasn’t. Azul was drawing it out even longer. For the first time, Riddle was forced to accept that the Octavinelle housewarden may not have been angling for a deal. Azul wouldn’t have extended the exchange beyond its natural time-wasting conclusion otherwise.
The redhead took a seat at his desk, acknowledging that this matter was going to require more thought than he’d originally wanted to expend. The option still stood that he could simply abandon this exchange and get back to work, but something within him objected deeply and instinctively to that course of action.
What did Cater use in his usual correspondence? Riddle usually wouldn’t be one for abbreviations or emojis, but if Azul had used them first, it would only be natural to match the tone that had been set.
—
< Riddle: What about you? :0 >
Azul was very, very weak. Riddle using emoticons? What in the sevens’ Twisted Wonderland had possessed him to do that and why was it so bad for Azul’s three hearts?
The octopus mer stared at his phone. Again. How was he supposed to respond to this?! He could not respond (no chance of that, the idea of not continuing this conversation when he had the chance was absolutely repellent), he could say something smooth or flirty (where was he supposed to pull that kind of dialogue from?! He was a businessman, but that didn’t mean he could flirt, and much less with Riddle, someone he actually cared about), or he could continue being curt. Perhaps respond with another emoji?
Yes, he’d do that.
But… which one? Every small image, practically hieroglyphic, had different implications and ways to interpret them - and even worse, he couldn’t determine how Riddle would take it! Azul pulled up his trusty search engine tab and repeatedly searched things that he probably should know (but who could be sure that meanings and definitions hadn’t changed within the past minute after he first searched it up?).
“shell emoji what does it mean”
“purple heart emoji meaning”
“100 out of 100 emoji meaning”
“can the 100 emoji be seen as romantic”
“if i send the 100 emoji to my fellow housewarden and academic rival will he figure out i’m in love with him”
Wait. Why had he looked up that? Was autocorrect messing with him? He was not in love with Riddle! That was completely improbable and unreasonable in the extreme, and besides, he had no time to-
This was getting him nowhere. Just send it.
—
Azul: I’m doing absolutely and perfectly fantastic! 💯
Ah, so Riddle had managed to confuse him. The emoticon (was that what Cater called it?) upped their conversation to the level of a battle, something Riddle was much more comfortable with, and now all he had to do was continue to one-up Azul. Riddle could practically hear Azul chuffing like a horse at his overwhelming victory. That’s right, now he thought about it, Azul would make a beautiful horse, perhaps white or with a dun coat, and then Riddle could saddle him up and they could ride…
Riddle quickly aborted that thought before it could grow arms and legs. He had better things to worry about, like replying to that text. Quickly, before Azul could try to bring up the difficulty again and beyond Riddle’s depth (not that that could happen, of course).
—
Azul received another ping of Riddle’s message. He… didn’t know how to respond to this.
He shook his head once, trying to clear it like an Etch-a-Sketch, which didn’t work at all. Faaaantastic.
Nope, just don’t think about it, try to hide his definitely-not-crush.
—
The two of them sent messages back and forth, some emojis from Azul, occasional emoticons from Riddle, until something eventually managed to fluster the redhead.
—
Azul: You should come to the Octavinelle lounge sometime ;)
Ah, curses - Riddle had been doing so well handling their back-and-forth! But this, he didn’t know how to respond to - a winking face was another matter entirely.
Riddle stood up from his desk. Azul may have won the (extremely minor and almost negligible) battle, but Riddle would win the war. All the resources Azul had access to were search engines, dictionaries, and the Leeches (who would likely rather confuse Azul further and stir up trouble than actually help him), but Riddle had Cater, who was on his phone almost every hour he could (really, Riddle should try and help him kick that habit, it was wreaking havoc to the card soldier’s grades).
He approached Cater, having now left his smaller study, and entered the more open Heartslabyul common room - Cater was seated on the island watching Trey cook with an absolutely besotted look (it had always been a mystery to Riddle if he and Trey were courting or not). Riddle cleared his throat and presented his phone, reassured by the fact that Trey wouldn’t hear it (he trusted Trey with his troubles, but he didn’t want to burden him beyond remit), as the baker had his earbuds in.
“Cater, I require your assistance. I have been corresponding with Azul, and, well-”
The ginger nodded and flashed Riddle a peace sign, grabbing the phone from Riddle’s outstretched hands.
“Texting troubles, huh? No worries, Cay-cay’s got it covered!”
Riddle took a seat at the island, kicking his feet slightly (they didn’t reach the floor, even with the heels that came with his dorm uniform) while Cater read their texts. Riddle had no problem with that, it’s not like they were engaging in inappropriate activities, but Cater’s face seemed to flip through several different expressions as he read.
“What’s the matter?”
“Riddle…”
Cater handed Riddle back his phone with a strange look on his face, then gently took hold of Riddle’s shoulders. His first instinct was to flinch, but then Cater started talking.
“Honey. Babe. Sweetheart… Azul is flirting with you.”
Huh?
“How dare- I am not flirting with him! That would be inappropriate to do in academic correspondence, not to mention incredibly crass! This is not flirting!”
Cater sucked in a breath and pushed two fingers together against the tip of his nose, leaning against the counter like a soul sucked dry of energy.
“He sent you a wink emoticon. He invited you to the lounge.”
“But that’s just Azul being Azul. You know this, he always does that to everyone!”
“Not with a wink emoticon! And-”
Cater gestured to Riddle and then to his phone.
“You were flirting back! Rids, what did you think you were doing?!”
Riddle smoothed his cape on his lap and frowned at the messages. Had they somehow turned to inappropriate ones when he had blinked?
…no, they were the same.
“This was clearly a mental duel. Azul wished to waste my time, I fended him off, and we’ve been engaged in a tactical battle ever since! And I intend to win.”
Cater leveled Riddle with the expression of a suffering Victorian doctor that had just informed three individual families that their children had died in the coal mines. It was a strange expression to see on Cater, to say the least. Then he clapped his hands and motioned for Riddle to slide his phone over.
“Aaalrighty! Whatever! Cater’s gonna help ya! Andhopefullyfixwhateverthismessisohmysevens-”
He said the last part of his sentence in one breath that Riddle couldn’t quite catch, but he passed over his phone, watching over Cater’s shoulder to make sure he wasn’t going to be too forward. What he typed out was simple and forward.
< Riddle: Sure! >
“Cater!”
Riddle gasped, scandalized, and grabbed the phone from Cater again. He gave Riddle a surprised expression and a sheepish smile.
“You diiiid want to keep flirting with him, right?”
“NO!”
The redhead’s face grew exactly as red as his hair, and he seemed one stray offense away from offing Cater’s head.
“Ooooopsies~”
Cater slid off the stool onto his feet, then quickly backed away into the hallway that led to third-year dorm rooms before Riddle could react further.
“Ahahahah look at that, gottagosorryRidsIcan’thelpyouanymore!”
…crap. Well, no taking back Cater’s mistake now, or he would be admitting defeat and ceding the victory to Azul.
—
Azul stared at his screen.
It… had worked. He’d thrown out the suggestion to come to the lounge as an offhanded jab, but he hadn’t expected Riddle to actually take him up on it! This was fantastic- wait- no, this was terrible!
He had accidentally invited Riddle on a date! Somehow! He was not prepared for a date with Riddle, oh sevens-
“JADE! We need to hold a planning session!”
Azul stood up from his desk, finally released from the viselike grip his conversation had extorted on him, ready to start planning a date with Riddle before the Heartslabyul housewarden could take back his agreement.
—
< Jade: the plan worked >
< Cater: FUCK YEAH OH MY SEVENS >
< Cater: i was so tired of watching them fumble TnT >
< Jade: agreed. Now you just need to make sure Riddle doesn’t chicken out >
< Cater: alrightyyyy!! 👍 >