Archive of Our Own

Did someone seriously hack mama Hollander's phone??? 🖕🖕🖕

How DARE they touch the ICON that is Yuna Hollander. She should be a national treasure for producing Shane Hollander!

She has Shane saved as Favourite Son 💕💕💕

Don't they only have one son?

💕Yes that's what makes it so sweet💕

Girl...don't be a creep.

They put their 3 yo in shoes with knives on them on the ice. They knew what they were doing.

Yeah, I came here to see texts between the legend and the legend maker. Not to have deep philosophical and sociological debates about the the mental stress of being a professional athlethe's mother.

I never thought mama Hollander would disapprove of Shane Hollander being arrogant...then again I never thought Shane Hollander could be arrogant.

Is Shane missing the teammates that got traded or is this about those rumours.....

Stop looking for drama (esp this early in the season)!

looking at some post game texts, she never congratulates him with a win. She praises him about his play, say's she's proud of him, etc, no matter the outcome of the game.

That's probably from a parenting book. You compliment the effort, not the result 😄

A Hollander doing research???🤯🤯 quelle surprise 🤯🤯

I guess now we know where Shane got it from 😅

You hear it too??? Whenever Hollander brings up hockey stats he sounds unimpressed, or like he's saying the worst stats in the history of hockey.

Can't always be easy to have a mom who's that involved in your life...

Honestly yeah...to me it reads like they maybe had a fight about how involved his mom is in his life, and Shane feels bad about it and wants to make sure his mom knows he appreciates her anyway.🤷‍♀️

He had it coming🔪🔪!

He had it coming!!!

He only had himself to blame

🔪Yes🔪

If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it

I betcha you would have done the same

The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.

?????

Also him calling the biggest dog ever a puppy😍😍😍

All dogs are puppies. Everybody knows this.

Who cares??? I want to know who's with him because that food is not Shane Hollander approved!!

No.

No.

Not when you're The Shane Hollander™

Or when you're Yuna Hollander!

No.

No.

Yes.

No.

I meant because she wants another player to be hurt...

No they didn't.

Petty Hollander???!! I'm learning things I never thought I would.

I don't remember a Hollander x Pierre fight, those must have been some lame ass chirps. Rozanov on the other hand... wooohhh that was a spectucular (HOOOT) fight.

Coming from a Rozanov fan...

If I remember correctly, and I do, that game ended 5-1 for Montreal and a hattie for Hollander, so I'd say Hollander did something right.

Please forget I ever said anything about not learning anything salacious. Gah has Hollander ever been hotter???

Hotter than when talking to his mom???? If I had to guess...(actually I don't have to guess we have photographic evidence of his hotness 🙏)

Yeah yeah don't tease me with visions of half naked Hollander (if I were anyone else I'd joke about you being shallow 🤨). Caring about this just makes him 10x hotter 🥵.

Are we sure this is Hollander? It doesn't sound like Hollander??

Are we sure the contact in Yuna Hollander's phone named Favourite SON when they only have one kid is Shane Hollander...yeah, I think so.

Hollander does not need to be more humble. In the words of Max: “I'm the best driver because I believe I am the best. Because every driver needs to think like that, otherwise it's better to stay home”

Once more for the people in the back: OTHERWISE IT'S BETTER TO STAY HOME!!!

“If you go into a fight thinking you might lose, you’ve already lost.”

And were there even more than 2 texts not about hockey???

Yes, plenty!! (they were dog pictures)

I heard he came out to his team. Maybe because of that??

Girl that's the weakest rumour to have ever floated around the NHL. I'd sooner believe Nelson eatting 2 lbs of baby food as punishment for letting all those goals in.

Knowing goalies he probably volunteered

Except Rozanov!

Yes but he hates Rozanov

Dude they just announced their foundation, they don't hate each other at all

That PR stunt?? I wouldn't be surprised if it crashed within two months...

They're best friends

Oh so you're delusionallll...

Kinda nice he's doing stuff with his dad. Also nothing wrong with boring.

There is if you are a 28 year old professional athlete...who is single...Rozanov would never!

He should be out clubbing or hanging with friends or something...

I'm sure multiple Stanley Cup winner Shane Hollander who carries his team on his back cares what you guys think of how he spends his time with his dad.

You're here tweeting about Hollander's Mom's leaked messages... maybe visit @ClearVisionOptician to take a look at the log in your eye.

This was right before they announced their charity. Maybe they didn't want the bad press, or were worried about it???

Shouldn't have partnered with Rozanov then...

To be fair he was asked about it extensively. I remember because I admired in how many ways Hollander could tell them to focus on the game.

Lol yeah, I didn't know you could say "we just beat Vegas 6-3 don't you have any questions about that??" in so many ways.

Wait...Do we think they know why Rozanov moved to Ottawa???

Please let them talk about it here...

I NEED TO KNOW

This is me, at night, lying awake wondering why one of the best players ever moved to a shit team on purpose, kissing all hopes of another cup goodbye.

I paid an etsy witch for an Ottawa cup. I will accept gratitude and eternal fame.

That's the woman who birthed hockey god Shane Hollander, obviously the answer is yes.

BIRTHED?? Ewww

There's no word fitting for whatever happened in the Hollander Home that resulted in Mr. Shane Motherfucking (too soon?) Hockey Hollander.

Yes.

I hope my parents never find these because if they find out Shane Hollander very busy hockey player visits his parents this often while I very lazy normal person don't...

Huh...that makes me wonder...brb

Maybe it was an important game?

Or maybe because his parents were there??

Uhmm guys...maybe check the dates...

Is this why we never see him shirtless anymore😭😭😭

Don't get me wrong he's a mediocre player at best but those abs, that vee, the pecs, the shoulders🤤 🤤🤤🤤

This isn't Hollander!!!

You know what I think maybe you have a point...

Noooooo don't join the dark side!!!

Is it arrogance or is his face plastered on every billboard in Canada???

Dude he announced it like 6 months ago.

I'm not READY!

I know we all thought 🦕 Hunter would retire first.

Mmmmm maybe... Hollander has always been extremely private. No pictures of him clubbing, no girls bragging about sleeping with him. The whole do about him and Rose Landry was probably mostly about her, and because Gloria Grey and Carter Vaughan were also dating.

I would one hundred percent agree with you if it was about anyone other than Hollander. Everybody in Canada (except the Hollander's neighbours apparently) knows who he is. He can't step a foot inside a restaurant with a date without the whole of Canada knowing about it the next day. And I honestly doubt anyone dating him would be okay with never leaving his house and staying a secret. He is just too 🥵🔥🥵 for that.

I think Hollander doesn't date. Just completely locked in on hockey.

About Hollander's neighbours... I don't believe for a second they had no idea Shane was their son. It smells like a tactic to me. Look at us! We don't care about your fame! We're not gold or fame diggers! Sure Annie, sure.

LOL Yeah!! Sure, Annie. And I'm not jealous of anyone who gets to see Shane Hollander naked.

Wyatt Hayes (who is actually Roberto Luongo who underwent massive plastic surgery so he could keep playing, which is why Hayes is suddenly a good goalie).

What???? They don't even look anything alike???

That's the point!!!

Huh, I thought you were normal...I've never been more wrong.

Roger Crowell

Eww

Ew, yes, but also I legit wouldn't be suprised if Yuna Hollander had an in with some high ranking officials in the NHL.

Dallas Kent

Lol that would make Yuna's Fuck Toronto even funnier

Ilya Rozanov

Wrong answers only!

Sure Annie, sure.

Excuuuuseee you, there's a hockey player missing and you want to talk about who this is???? It's obvi Shane btw, he's just not his media trained person here.

I mean... this was a while ago soooo.... Lewis was found and he was indeed drunk and gambling.

Finally!!!

Can't believe I'm the one saying this but...giiirlll stop taking this so seriously! It's fun to speculate and see where we end up...Or who we end up with🤭

It's still going to be Hollander.

Not to steal your catchphrase but... DELUSIONALLLL

You just don't want to admit Shane is a dog person.

Can't believe it but yeah, I think so too.

Okay but that would mean they've been in contact since Rozanov's last year with Boston, so more than a year before announcing their charity.

Did we just assume that they became friendly in the few months Rozanov moved to Ottawa???

Not just friendly but close enough to talk about personal shit and start a charity together... Like Hollander could have done that with Pike.

I always thought that Rozanov wanted to do the charity and knew his reputation was so far into the shitter he needed Hollander's good boy image...

Plus the added PR. And like maybe by organising this they did become more friendly and could overlook their differences.

But if Yuna Hollander and Rozanov have been texting since the 17/18 season...

I don't actually have any idea how long it takes to set up a foundation and charity and get it solid enough to launch it. I can only imagine how much work it must be. So maybe Rozanov approached Hollander after they played together at All-Stars.

You know what, that actually makes a lot of sense. It's not like they have all the time in the world to plan and organise a charity.

Could be why in the beginning the texts were so awkward

So to recap: Roz approached Hollander after All-Stars, they've been working on the charity for a long time and became friend(s/ly).

So then why does Yuna Hollander have him as favourite son?

Because you're all delusional and it's Shane Hollander. You just don't like that he has a personality.

I also thought you guys were delusional... but holy shit!!!

I told you so!!

I can't believe I ever thought this would be boring...

But we are all agreed it's Rozanov, right???

Damn what a silence @Turntables where is your DELUSIONALL now???

Yeah, it's Rozanov.

The dude does puzzle nights with his dad. Yeah, I think he's aware.

Rozanov is straight. I can maybe, maybe believe they're friendly but lovers...there's absolutely no way.

I'd believe they're serial killing together before I believe they're in a relationship.

What a fancy way to say that this is them

I feel like we are bypassing the insanity of this relationship. WHY AREN’T WE FREAKING OUT MORE

Girl if I think too long about Roz being this friendly with the Hollanders I will perish.

I don't know man. Rozanov is like totally straight. He gets papped with women so much.

Respectfully...I think anyone would take a chance on Hollander

No man, Rozanov is extremely straight.

Nah I agree, Hollander can turn anyone gay.

Not Rozanov. He's had so many women. There's so many subgroups where girls talk about him. Rozanov gets around. With women. Exclusively with women. Because he's very very straight.

Bisexuality exists 🩷💜💙

🤦🏼I give up.

Imagine finally getting to play with the legendary Ilya Rozanov and fucking it all up because you think cats are superior to dogs.

Giving a twenty minute speech about it is insane behaviour though...

Only because he's not a goalie. This would be totally acceptable goalie behaviour

Bitches Shane and Ilya are in a relationship!!! Romantically!!!

I understand Roz wanting to marry Hollander 🥵🥵🥵 But Hollander liking Rozanov boggles my mind. The guy's an asshole extraordinaire.

Marrying Roz is probably the closest Hollander could get to marrying hockey.

Aahh but Hollander hates it when Rozanov beats him at anything...and marrying Shane Hollander is absolutely the same as marrying hockey.

I'm sorry can we go back to how casually Ilya Rozanov mentions marriage to his in-laws🤯

Can we go back to how casually you are talking about Rozanov and Hollander being in a relationship?????

1. Is a concerned neighbour.

2. Is no longer clubbing till late.

3. Is no longer hooking up with anyone and everyone.

4. Is gossiping with his mother-in-law about everyone (literally no one is safe)

5. Is enjoying puzzle and game nights with in-laws.

6. Is talking about marriage (to mother-in-law wich is like ten times more serious than just talking about it with friends, that's commitment).

I can't believe Ilya Rozanov is making Shane Hollander look like a party boy.

Hollander is often described as anti-social and robot-like. He's got some flaws, just not on the ice.

Is Ilya Rozanov an I can fix him girl???

I got you. Mind, he also chirped Colorado's Captain.

I heard you’re too broke for a cleaning lady.

What are you spending your money on?

Hope you’re not spending money on extra hockey lessons. They’re not paying off.

Did you at least pay your mom?

To Tylers:

I hear Billy's mom is calling him a pig. Why did you not raise him right?

Can you not pay for a cleaning lady for him?

Do you need me to pay for one?

Is bad look for all captains. His mom is complaining to the other moms.

If it were fantasy I'd be in the middle of that sandwich

Old news 😂 Did you think those would be boring and realised way too late what those texts actually revealed???😅🤭 Embarrasing