Chapter Text
Kaz and Jesper
9:35 pm
Jesper: KAZ
9:40 pm
Jesper: KAZ!
Jesper: Ik you're on your phone rn
10:00 pm
Jesper:KAAAAAAAZ
Jesper:KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ
Jesper:BREKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Jesper: ANSWER MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Jesper: ROOMIE!
Kaz: Don't call me that.
Jesper: Ohhhhhh so NOW you answer?!?!?!
Kaz: What do you want?
Jesper: Look at me
Kaz: No.
Jesper: Why nottttuhhhhhh
Kaz: I'm busy.
Jesper: Just look up from your phone for one second
Kaz: No.
Jesper changed group chat name to “Roomies 💖”
“Change it back,” Kaz said, finally looking up from his phone to see Jesper lying atop an identical twin bed across from him. Jesper smirked in his direction.
“What's the magic word?”
It hadn't even been a full week since they moved into the tiny dorm at Ketterdam University, but Kaz was already plotting the murder of his so-called “roomie”. “Don't make me use my cane.” He grimaced before turning back to his phone. “
Ok fine, forget the magic word. Lemme see your schedule!”
Reluctantly, Kaz looked up from his phone once more to see the pathetic pout Jesper was giving him. “You look ridiculous right now, you know that?” Without waver, he continued his sad pout until Kaz finally caved. “Fine, I'll send it to you. But only if you promise to fix the group chat name."
"Fine, I promise!”
Roomies 💖
Kaz: Image sent
Monday, Wednesday, Friday
12 pm: Quantitative Methods for Business and Economics
1 pm: Advanced Investment Analysis
2 pm: Economics of Strategy
Tuesday, Thursday
12 pm: Quantitative Analysis Lab
1 pm: Economic History
Jesper: No art credit???
Kaz: Why are you texting me? We’re in the same room.
Jesper: You know you can't graduate without an art credit
“Why don't we talk about your lack of Math, Science, and Social Studies credits?” Kaz said, putting his phone down and picking up a book.
Bzz. Bzz.
1 Notification from Roomies 💖
“I'm not reading that until you fix the group chat name”
Bzz. Bzz.
2 Notifications from Roomies 💖:
Jesper changed the group chat name to “Roomies”
Jesper: better?
After a quick eye roll and a grimace in Jesper's direction, Kaz tossed his phone across the room in hopes that the distance would give him some peace and quiet. “You know, I should've roomed with Rotty when he asked,” he said before settling back into his book. He'd barely read 2 sentences before the book was being yanked out of his grasp.
“Take that back,” said a glaring Jesper, looming over him.
Clearly Kaz's words had stung, but he wasn't really in the mood for apologies right now. Well, Kaz was never in the mood for apologies, but that's besides the point. “Give me my book.” Kaz said, holding a gloved hand out, but he was too late.
Jesper was already on the other side of the room, carelessly flinging the book around in his agitated state. “Rotty? Are you serious?! He doesn't even do basic hygiene! I know basic hygiene! I know more than basic hygiene, ok?!?! I smell great, you know. You don't know how lucky you are to have a best friend/roommate that smells so nice. You could be rooming with-And what book is this anyway?!” He exclaimed, flipping through the pages haphazardly, “There's no pictures and…is it in Ravkan?”
Kaz let out a big sigh, set his glasses on his bedside table, and popped a small pain pill into his mouth–Jesper was giving him a headache. You would think after knowing each other for almost 5 years, Kaz would be immune to the headache-inducing antics of his–what was the word Jesper had used? “Best Friend.” Just thinking about having a best friend made Kaz's skin crawl. Sure, he spent more time with Jesper than anyone else, but Jesper didn't know him. No one really knew Kaz, and he liked it that way. When no one knew you, no one could hurt you.
He shot Jesper a nasty glare. "Don't call me that…And it's The Gambler by Dostoevsky. Now hand it over before I cut your thumbs off and feed them to Anika's snake.” Kaz could see the hurt his words had caused in Jesper's eyes, and for the briefest moment Kaz felt remorseful, but a painful throb from his head quickly brought him back to reality. Within seconds of his ruthless remark, Jesper had tentatively put the book back on Kaz's bed. Without another word, he picked it up and turned his back to Jesper.
There was a brief period of 30 minutes where all was silent. Jesper went about doing whatever Jesper did when Kaz wasn't looking, and Kaz was enjoying his book. He was just about to finish the final chapter when Jesper spoke up again, “So you really don't have an art credit?” Kaz knew this was inevitable; Jesper wasn't the type of guy to ruminate on words said. He had his mind made up, and nothing Kaz or anyone else said could change it, but that didn't stop Kaz from trying to buy a few more minutes of silence.
“Drop it, Jesper,” replied Kaz, not even bothering to look over his shoulder. His coldness granted him another brief break of peace and quiet where he was able to read a few more pages.
“I just don't understand why you won't take an art credit. I think it would be good for you, Kaz…oooo maybe you could take a theater class with me! Really let out all that pent up–”
Kaz turned to face him then “-Good Night, Jesper.” he said, cutting him off, before quickly turning off his light and pretending to go to sleep.
~*~
Roomies
10:45 am
Kaz: Jesper?
Jesper: Yes my liege?
Kaz: You know, something funny happened this morning when I checked my schedule. Do you want to guess what that was?
Jesper: I have no clue! Do tell :)
Kaz: Well, I am no longer enrolled in my Quantitative Methods for Business and Economics class.
Jesper: Whaaaaaaaat?!?!?!
Jesper: That's crazy
Kaz: Want to guess what I'm enrolled in now?
Jesper: there's about a million things I could guess
Jesper: It'd be faster if you just told me
Kaz: Well, dear friend, I now have a theater class. So, instead of the highly prestigious Quantitative Methods for Business and Economics class that I had to test into, I am now being hurled into what I think is my personal hell. Now isn't that just hilarious?
Jesper: You're taking this a lot better than I thought you would
Jesper: I'm proud of you for adapting to your surroundings
Kaz: Jesper Llewellyn Fahey. We both know I am no stranger to violence, nor am I afraid of highly illegal activity. Fix this.
Kaz: Now.
Jesper: Yk your lack of all caps makes this 10x scarier….
Jesper: buttttttt
Jesper: class changes closed this morning
Jesper: class starts at 12:00
Jesper: :)
Kaz: You bastard.
Jesper: Hey! At least you'll be getting your art credit!
~*~
As soon as Kaz and Jesper got to class, their ears were assaulted with a cacophony of laughter, shrill squealing, and the ludicrous chant of show tunes. “You'll pay for this, Fahey” Kaz hissed. In return, Jesper just smiled and walked deeper into the throes of chaos. He briefly considered the idea of following Jesper, but ultimately decided against it.
All those bodies. Such close proximity. Not a good idea.
He sat by the nearest door, keen on leaving as soon as possible. Jesper had been right in the sense that switching classes had technically closed, but he had no idea what a crippled, morally gray, and well-connected man could do when in an urgent situation. As soon as class ended, he intended to march right down to his counselor and blackmail his way back into the Quantitative Methods for Business and Economics class. But for now he would quietly glower in the corner and finish reading his book.
It had barely been ten minutes when the banging of a staff caught his attention. A small man, no taller than 5’2, looked out at them all. He was balding, but not entirely bald. There was a thin wispy rim of hair around the lower half of his head that screamed: My wife left me and this hair is all I have left. He wore a patchwork multi-color cardigan over a galaxy cat t-shirt and striped pajama pants. “Greetings, young actors! Welcome to the hall of the arts!” He made a grand gesture with his staff, which made Kaz roll his eyes. Looking past the professor, he found Jesper, who was giggling with a Ravkan girl with brown hair and a brutish blonde boy. How Jesper made friends so quickly had always been a mystery to him, but now it was more annoying than anything else. He'd forced him into this class and was now abandoning him. Whatever he thought, I’m better off without him. This way I might be able to go a whole class without taking any pain meds.
“My name,” boomed the little man, “is Professor Bo Yul-Bayur. Not only am I your professor but also a vessel. A vessel that will guide you to the land of the saints!” Kaz could not believe his ears. This guy must spend a ton of time smoking Jurda Parem if he's spouting out this much crap. “Now let me guide your poor and lost souls through the murky waters of doubt and fear and lead you to the wonderful world of acting!” Kaz hadn't meant to snort so loud, but he couldn't help it. This guy was clearly crazy. “Ah! The young thespian in the black coat,” Yul-Bayur said, gesturing to Kaz, “have the Saints contacted you? Is there some spurt of wisdom you must share now before you combust from knowledge?”
Kaz looked to Yul-Bayur and then to Jesper, who was clearly afraid of whatever was about to come out of his mouth. Silently, Jesper shook his head, pleading with Kaz not to speak, his two new friends looking curiously at him. “Yeah, I do,” Kaz smirked, and although Kaz's voice was low and guttural, it had a way of filling the room, demanding attention.
He opened his mouth to speak again, but he was suddenly interrupted by the door opening. A Suli girl rushed in, her long black hair billowing behind her in her haste. “Sorry I'm late, professor.” she said, searching for a place to sit. “Not to worry, not to worry,” chimed the man and gestured to a seat a few away from Kaz. “Come, come sit. And join us in soaking in the knowledge of your classmate here.”
The girl locked eyes with Kaz briefly and gave a shy smile before sitting down next to a small boy with mousey auburn hair. The interaction had been brief, no longer than a few seconds. A few seconds that Kaz would spend the rest of his life trying to live again. His head was spinning, his heart pounding. All thoughts, gone in an instant. The feeling was euphoric. No…
It was terrifying.
Somewhere far off, Kaz barely registered the sound of someone speaking, it becoming clearer and clearer by the second. “Hello?? Son? Are you with us–Ah, welcome back! Seems as though you were just plagued with another vision. Now, please bless us all with your preachings!”
In an instant, all thoughts came rushing back to his head; his frustration at Jesper for making him take this class, his elation for the prospect of getting to blackmail someone, and his annoyance for the stoned teacher in front of him. “Right. Professor, I just wanted to ask if you are aware of the law you're breaking?” Yul-Bayur looked stunned, clearly confused by what Kaz meant. He opened his mouth to reply, but Kaz cut him off. “I just mean, according to Kurch law, it is illegal to teach under the influence. We can all smell the Parem emanating from you. Listen, Professor, I admire your dedication to breaking the law; it truly is an art form in itself, but next time try to be less obvious about it? You really are insulting your so-called “Saints” with your careless attempt at misconduct.”
The whole class stilled in utter shock. The stoned professor opened and closed his mouth several times, trying to find the right words to say. Kaz could see the man working overtime, trying to form a coherent enough sentence to convey his emotions. Eventually the man spun around to the rest of the class, a wide grin on his face. “And that was an example of how to capture the audience's attention! You see, my pupils, before class started this young man came to me, practically begging for my help on how to make a good first impression. So, I helped him concoct this elaborate and captivating scene for you all! Now give the boy a hand!”
The whole class erupted into applause and even a few giggles. Whether or not the class believed Yul Bayur, Kaz didn't know, nor did it matter. This was turning out to be one of the worst days of his life, and people were going to pay. Preferably Jesper.
Besties
12:30
Jesper: Can you please stop staring at me like that
Jesper: It's scaring me
Kaz: No. I'm plotting all the different ways in which I can murder you.
Jesper: You're making a bad first impression on Nina and Matthias
Jesper: they want to get ice cream after class
Jesper: but if you keep looking at me like that they're going to think you're some schizo
Kaz: Who are Nina and Matthias?
Jesper is typing…
Kaz: Never mind, I don't care. I'm not going. You know how much I hate things that bring children joy.
Jesper: GAHHHHHH
Jesper: You're the worst you know that?
Jesper: ts pmo
Jesper: please just this once
Jesper: If you go I promise I won't stop you from stealing ice cream from a baby this time
Jesper: Are you just going to ignore me now?!?!
Jesper: this is so unfair
Kaz: Shhhh. I'm learning.
Jesper: ARE YOU SERIOUS RN
Jesper: I hate you
Kaz: Likewise.
Kaz. And don't ask me if I am being serious or not.
Kaz: You won't like the answer.
Jesper: ouch
Jesper: OMGGGGG WAIT
Kaz: I'm not going. End of story.
Jesper: nononono thats not what I’m talking about
Kaz: What?
Jesper: some girl keeps looking at you
Kaz: I don't have time for this.
Jesper: Its that girl who came in late
Jesper: She keeps looking at you
Kaz: That's it, I'm muting you.
Jesper: NOOOOO
Jesper: PLEASE just look up PLEASEEE
Kaz: If I do, will you leave me alone?
Jesper: yes
Kaz: There, I looked up.
Jesper: NOOO YOU HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN SHE STOPPED LOOKING AT YOU RIGHT BEFORE YOU LOOKED AT HER
Kaz: No.
Jesper: OMG SHE'S LOOKING AGAIN, LOOK!!!!!!
Jesper: You barely missed her, how is that even possible?!?!
Jesper: try again
Jesper: ooo ok 4th time's the charm
Kaz: Nope. No more. I feel like a bobble head.
Jesper: Ok fine
Jesper: but you have to talk to her after class
Jesper: get her number
Get her number. Was Jesper an idiot? Kaz didn't date; he didn't need to. Jesper did enough kissing, flirting, and dating for the both of them. Besides, he didn't want to. He knew what dating meant: a shy smile given and returned, numbers exchanged, coffee dates, and then a gentle brush of the hand…cold, lifeless hands touching his…Murky water…the air was leaving his lungs; he was drowning. Jordie, help–
Stop it. You're fine, Brekker; get it together.
He spent the rest of the class period in a daze, constantly telling himself over and over again that he was fine. Kaz was frustrated. Frustrated at the fact that even years later he still had to fight to keep his mind in the present. By the time class ended, all he wanted to do was get back to his dorm and sleep. The counseling center could wait till tomorrow; he needed his wits about him for such an important blackmailing. Kaz got up from his seat and was just about to leave when a “hey, Kaz!” caught his attention. He turned to see Jesper waving him over to a small group of students. He couldn't care less what Jesper wanted, but suddenly his eyes landed on a small Suli girl in the cluster of students…the same girl from earlier. It wasn't until Jesper was chatting enthusiastically at him that he realized he had walked over to them. He ripped his gaze from the girl and turned to his friend, “What do you want, Jesper?” but before Jesper could reply, the Ravkan girl from earlier leaped into an energetic greeting, “Hi Kaz, I’m Nina! And this,” she said, gesturing to the big Fjerdan on her right, “Is my boyfriend, Matthias.” Kaz barely had the patience to acknowledge the pair of them, but He gave a small nod of his head before turning to the other two. He briefly acknowledged the mousey-haired boy before finally settling his gaze on the Suli girl. “Kaz, meet Wylan and Inej.” Jesper said cheerfully.
Inej.
Wylan gave a small, shy wave, and Inej gave him a kind smile.
Saints, she had a beautiful smile.
Her eyes met his. Her deep brown eyes settled on his, a charcoal gray. Kaz grasped at words to say, each dying on his lips as he sank deeper and deeper into her gaze. For the second time that day, he was drowning. But he found himself welcoming the sensation rather than fighting it. He let himself sink deeper into the warmth of her eyes on his, until a small thought formed in the back of his head–You don't need her.
It didn't take long after that for Kaz to snap out of it. He let out a low and raspy “Hello,” then dropped his gaze. Cutting off the warmth she offered and let the cold consume him once more.
“Great!” Jesper said, clapping his hands together. “Now that we're all acquainted, it's ice-cream time!”
“What time?” Kaz asked, finally allowing himself to break his gaze from Inej.
“You heard me! Ice cream time!” He then waved his hands like he was about to conduct a choir; well, actually he was conducting a choir. The four in front of them broke out into an “ice-cream time” jingle, chock full of harmonies and little riffs.
“You have got to be kidding me,” Kaz said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Jesper, I already told you no. Now get your Jackson Five, or whatever you call yourselves, to move out of my way.” They all stared at Kaz now, shocked by his bluntness. He could feel those brown eyes on his, and for a moment he considered just getting lost in them forever, get it together, Brekker. You don't need her. You don't need anyone. He knew the voice in his head was right, so he stared straight ahead. “Let me go,” he growled.
“Fine, come on, guys, let's go.” Jesper strode past Kaz and led the group down the hallway.
“What's his deal?” Nina asked Jesper as they started to walk away.
Kaz could barely make out his reply as they strode farther down the hallway "That's Kaz Brekker for you. He doesn't need a reason.”